Read the full transcript of Dotti Groover-Skipper’s talk titled “What Everyday People Can Do To Stop Human Trafficking” at TEDxEustis 2024 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
The Invisible Ones
Nobody sees me, she said, nobody. These are the words that I have heard repeatedly in my 40-plus years of serving in the anti-human trafficking arena. It was over four decades ago when I first heard these words quietly murmured through painful sobs and tears. She felt invisible.
Her words that day were a gut punch, as I related my own experience of feeling invisible growing up as a middle child. Now, please don’t misunderstand, as for me, Dotti Groover-Skipper, growing up, Groover was extraordinary. My parents were wonderful. In fact, my dad, a man of impeccable character and integrity, is and always will be my hero.
I adore my four siblings and embrace being the middle of five Groover children. For as a middle child, one learns how to be a savvy negotiator, a peacekeeper, and a risk-taker. My sister, Nancy, still refers to me as the cliff jumper. But as a child, at times, I felt unseen.
Finding My Voice
I remember in a dance recital one year, I was cast as the big bad wolf in Peter and the Wolf, and the costume included this huge wolf’s head covering that completely concealed who I was. As a fourth-grader struggling with feelings of feeling unseen, I used my savvy middle child negotiating skills to convince my dance instructor, Miss Anne, and my sweet mom to please not make me wear that wolf’s head. They listened. And I danced my heart out that night with no head covering, feeling heard, seen, and empowered.
It was a pivotal moment for me, a moment that taught me how to speak up for myself and how to speak out for others. So in some big way, 40-plus years ago, it resonated with the middle child me when that 13-year-old cried, “Nobody sees me.” She felt invisible, even in the self-esteem class I was teaching. She perked up, however, when I told her that she could bring her four-year-old sister with her to the next class.
The Harsh Reality
But when I met her little sister, I did not feel joy. I felt an immense uneasiness in my spirit, so much so that I asked the organization who had hired me to please find out the background on these little girls. And what they discovered still haunts me today and continues to drive my work. These precious little girls were sex-trafficking victims, living with their perpetrator, their pimp, their trafficker, who happened to be their grandmother.
A grandmother who was selling them for sex in exchange for drugs, most every night. And to make it even more horrific, the four-year-old had a sexually transmitted disease. Familial trafficking is very prevalent, even in the United States. There are many forms of human trafficking.
Understanding Human Trafficking
The way most victims are lured into a human trafficking situation is through a family member, a trusted family friend, or someone of perceived power, in addition to predators who use social media apps and platforms as avenues to groom and to exploit. Grooming is a pattern of manipulative behaviors that predators use to gain access, trust, and control over the most vulnerable. My simple definition of human trafficking is the business of the exploitation of vulnerabilities for another person’s gain. And there are many forms of human trafficking.
I’m only briefly touching on sex trafficking. It’s all so very egregious and all so very real. And every single one of us has a part to play to help bring resolve to this insidious crime. But first, we must see the problem.
As a society, we have been conditioned to overlook those in need. Their invisibility affords us comfort. If we don’t see them, we don’t have to do anything. But my hero dad taught me that everybody matters and is worthy to be seen and heard.
Working in the Trenches
In these many years in these trenches, I have mainly worked with victims and survivors of sex trafficking who’ve been groomed, forced, defrauded, or coerced into a trafficking situation. And in these years, it has been my absolute honor to minister to women working in the strip clubs. These women are forgotten, unseen, misunderstood women, many who are under a trafficker’s control. As our team enters the strip club dressing rooms, bringing gifts and shining the light of hope, we go in with no agenda except to let these beautiful women know they are made in the image of God and they are of great dignity, value, and worth.
And we see them. One dear young woman I met in the strip clubs confided in me that she had been raped by her uncle, groomed by him through drugs and pornography, and then sold from a swing set in the park. The families on the playground were totally unaware that the men removing her from the swing each time had paid to rape her. She was six years old.
And now, at the age of 18, she was working in the strip clubs, still feeling invisible. Meeting her was a catalyst that led me to advocate on human trafficking legislation in my community, in my state, and in my country. The bonding of my life with all of these amazing and resilient young women was a life-changing explosion for me. I quickly left the corporate world and launched Heart Dance Foundation, a ministry dedicated to serving these most vulnerable.
A Call to Action
A string was plucked in my heart to find a way to fight for those who’ve not yet learned to fight for themselves, to rally against injustice, and to see the most vulnerable. My strong faith and growing up Groover still continues to shape who I am. I don’t know what happened to that 13-year-old and her four-year-old sister, but I have spent my life advocating in their honor. In my mind’s eye, they are both vibrant, productive young women today, and I trust that the seeds planted in them in that self-esteem class so long ago were watered and nourished by others.
What I do know is the little girl sold from the swing set is no longer in the strip clubs.