Full text of stand-up comedian Kelley Lynn’s talk: When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing as Moving On at TEDxAdelphiUniversity conference.
Listen to the MP3 Audio here:
Kelley Lynn – Stand-up comedian
Best-selling author and widower C. S. Lewis said in the opening line of his brilliant book ‘A Grief Observed,’: “Nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.”
It’s a powerful statement: fear. But fear of what? The fear of losing yourself. The fear of growing old alone. The fear that this intense pain will never stop. The fear of forgetting the sound of his voice or his laugh or that others will forget him, that his life won’t have mattered.
Grief makes you feel isolated, alone, terrified, and damaged, and scared of absolutely everything.
On October 27th, 2006, at the age of 35, I married my very best friend, Don Shepherd. Four years and nine months later, my healthy, active, beautiful husband left for work one morning and never came home. They found him collapsed on the floor – a massive heart attack. No symptoms, no warnings, no goodbyes – just here one minute and then, boom, gone.
In the past five years or so since my husband’s death, I’ve become friends with and met a lot of other widowed people. A few months ago, a dear widower friend of mine gave me a challenge. He said, “Kelly, I want you to change the world.”
“Is that all?” I said to him.