In this science-backed talk, leadership researcher Christine Porath shares surprising insights about the costs of rudeness and shows how little acts of respect can boost your professional success — and your company’s bottom line.
Christine Porath – TED Talk TRANSCRIPT
Who do you want to be? It’s a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you’re answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything.
Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything.
I study the effects of incivility on people.
What is incivility?
It’s disrespect or rudeness. It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings.
And what’s uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone’s speaking to you. Some of us may find it rude, others may think it’s absolutely civil. So it really depends. It’s all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected.
We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences. Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss.