Read the full transcript of licensed psychotherapist and wellness guide Jotina Buck’s compelling talk titled “Why Rest Is A Right, Not A ‘Luxury’” at TEDxThird Ward, June 19, 2025.
Listen to the audio version here:
The Garage Moment: When Exhaustion Becomes Unbearable
JOTINA BUCK: I’m sitting in my car, in my garage, and for a solid 30 minutes, I don’t move. You know that moment when you pull into the garage after a long day of work and instead of getting out, you just sit there? Yeah, that’s me. This car has basically become my office, the last little pocket of alone time before stepping into everything else that demands my attention. The bills, emails, people, life, you know, those things.
And in this moment, I am beyond exhausted. And this is not just “I need a nap” kind of tired. This is something deeper, a bone deep, soul level tired, one that sleep alone can’t fix. You see, I spent years doing everything I was told to do that would lead to success. The showing up, grinding, proving my worth through my work. And yet, in that moment, I felt completely depleted and unfulfilled. As if I’d been pouring from a cup that had been empty for way too long.
And by the end of the year, I hit a wall. And I was tired, not just from work, but from the entire system. The constant push for productivity, the expectation to always be on, tired. Because I used to believe that rest was something I had to earn. And let me tell you, that belief, it nearly broke me.
The Culture That Normalizes Exhaustion
And I know I’m not alone in this feeling. And here’s how I know. We live in a world that normalizes exhaustion.
We wear our tiredness like a badge of honor. Capitalism, white supremacy, grind culture, all of them have convinced us that our worth is measured by our productivity. And for some of us, particularly Black, brown, and marginalized communities, rest isn’t just difficult. It’s also denied.
And so while the world is saying loudly, “do something, do more,” I am here to gently nudge you to do nothing. Yeah.
So how do we respond to this problem of lack of rest? First, we must remind ourselves that rest is not a luxury. Rest isn’t something we hustle for. Instead, it’s a basic human right.
So what if, instead of struggling for rest alone, we decided to come together in unison and do something about this rest problem? You’ve heard of mutual aid, right? That’s when communities come together, we no longer wait for systems to save us, and we do the work to save ourselves. Imagine if we engaged in rest mutual aid. What could that look like?
Forms of Rest Mutual Aid
Potentially, rest gifting. That’s offering someone the gift of rest in mutual exchange, like paying for someone’s time off, or maybe offering them a service, home cleaning service, a yard service, dinner for the week, a practice of collective care.
Perhaps it could look like rest swaps, a mutual exchange in rest and restoration for one another. In community, you know, you watch my kids, I’ll watch yours. You cover my shift, I’ll cover yours. This exchange and swap and rest care.
Or even, if we took our resources, put them in a pot for emergency rest funds. Funds that are designated for those who are in need of immediate rest, especially during times of grief, times of life crisis, and deep exhaustion.
Or probably even the two types of rest mutual aids I’ve engaged in the most, rest pods and rest circles. Rest pods are those intimate gatherings with your friends where you hold each other accountable for slowing down. Yeah? I absolutely love having D&D days with my friends. That’s a “do nothing” day. We put on our favorite socks, we climb on the couch, we grab a blanket, we get all of our snacks, and we do nothing. I love it. It’s the best.
Or even rest circles. Yeah, that’s those larger community gatherings where you get together for restorative practices, like yoga, breath work, meditation. And in stillness and in ease, you gather in this communal act of care and rest. Because here’s the truth. Rest isn’t something we just do alone in a dark room on our own. Rest is communal.
So let’s go back to that moment when I hit a wall. What did I do and how did I respond? I did something that was both terrifying and necessary. I sold my house. I packed my bags. And I quit, y’all. I quit America. I left. I moved to Mexico.
But I didn’t go there to escape. I went to Mexico to reclaim something. I went there to unlearn that my worth is connected to my productivity. And there, next to the ocean waves, under the open skies, I reclaimed something. I sank into rest in a way that I’d never done before.
Building a Culture of Rest
But this isn’t just about my personal rest practice. This is about building a culture of rest. So in Houston, right before I relocated, I started to host these rest retreats. I would tell people to pull up to lay down, right? Come to do nothing. But it was an intentional space, curated for folks to return home to ourselves, in softness, in stillness, and in ease, in community.
And in Mexico, that work expanded, where I’m hosting rooftop yoga, and meditation, and Black and brown bodies are gathering under the open skies, next to the ocean’s waves, pausing to reclaim what the world too often tries to steal from us. Yeah, I believe that we can live through resting.
Lisa’s Story: The Power of Community Rest
I have a story to tell you. I’d like to tell you about Lisa. Lisa was one of the inaugural rest retreat attendees. Lisa walked into the rest retreat, and you all, I could see it on her face. She was like I was in that garage, unrested, exhausted, and tired, pouring from a cup that had been empty for way too long.
And there in the community, something shifted for Lisa. And by the end, Lisa didn’t just leave with tools for her personal rest practice. Lisa also left with a solid rest pod. And it brings me so much joy to log into social media to see Lisa gathering and doing nothing with the people in her rest pod. It’s beautiful.
And Lisa’s so deeply woven into the rest community that she’s even made her way to Mexico for rest circles there. It’s been such a treat witnessing Lisa live into alignment with the very thing that she’s reclaimed at those rest retreats. But rest isn’t just an event. It’s a way of being. It’s a lifestyle.
A Rest Gift for You
And I want to offer you a rest gift today. So if you would, bring yourself to an upright position. Relax the space between your shoulders and your ears. And soften your breath and soften your gaze. And together, let’s take a deep inhale. Feel for where you’re unrested in your body. And on the exhale, send your breath there.
One more for good measure. Deep inhale. Fill the body up with air. And exhale, sending that breath to your unrested self.
The Call to Action: Revolutionary Community Care
And as you bring your awareness back to this space, I want to ask you a question. Who in your life needs rest right now? And how can you support them? I implore you to share rest in the ways that we share food. Share rest with others in the ways that we share love. It’s not just about a personal practice of rest, but it’s building a culture of rest.
Let’s stop waiting for permission to rest. Embrace rest mutual aid as a practice of revolutionary community care. Because we are worthy of rest together. Thank you.
