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Home » An Introvert’s Guide To Social Freedom: Kaspars Breidaks (Transcript)

An Introvert’s Guide To Social Freedom: Kaspars Breidaks (Transcript)

Here is the full transcript of Kaspars Breidaks’ talk titled “An Introvert’s Guide To Social Freedom” at TEDxRiga conference.

Listen to the audio version here:

TRANSCRIPT:

Why is he not talking? Maybe he forgot his text. How would I feel standing in front of all these people? Uh-oh, I sense trouble. Uh-oh. Oh, this is weird. This is weird. You can do this. Maybe he’s shy. He’s definitely shy. Canshine has become my biggest opportunity. The first 19 years of my life, I spent in a town with approximately 6,000 inhabitants.

It felt big enough when, as a teenager, I was hiding behind the school, trying to enjoy my first beer. But still, it was small enough to pretty much know everyone around. Not by their names, of course, but by the direction of their homes or their connections to others. So it was a very safe and friendly environment where to grow up.

The Journey of Shyness

You are, as I was, shy. How shy? Back then, talking to strangers, people I did not know, or being in the center of attention, to me, was like tooth and back pain combined with a bullet in my shoulder. Ouch. I hated it. But the older I got, the more curious I was about others. About their lives. What is he thinking about? What is she feeling? And yet I was not ready to face the pain. But I wanted to know.

So I needed something that would get me closer to them. That would help me be in the happenings, feeding my curiosity. But also would let me stay safe, complementing my modest personality. I remember being in a birthday party. And I noticed that the only invincible person there is the photographer.

So I became one. Soon enough, I was in the action, in the happenings. I was getting to know everyone. But as soon as I felt endangered, I raised my camera. Boom. No one can see me. I’m safe. Still here. And I can see you. But I’m safe.

Though it took me some time to realize that the saying, “You get what you give,” is true also in photography. I noticed that if you talk with the people, if I talk with the people I’m about to photograph, the pictures are more alive. A joke here and there, and they would forget about the camera, giving me the most honest selves. But that was way out of my comfort zone.

Discovering Improv

So I needed something. Something that would help me be okay with anyone, anywhere. And when I was 17, with the help of people around me, I discovered improvised theater. I would take a 45-minute bus from my hometown to the capital to be on stage for 10 minutes, performing with people I did not know. In front of people none of us knew. At the same time, fighting with my tooth and back pain and a bullet in my shoulder that only I knew about. My shyness.

Two years later, it was time for me to move to the capital city. And I remember standing in front of the Soviet-style building, the monolithic building in the suburbs of Riga with a single backpack, ready to move in my first apartment. I pressed the elevator button. In these houses, the elevators were really small. It’s just one square meter. By the time the doors opened, three more people have joined me. We got in.

Because of the size of the elevator, we basically touched each other with our jackets. So I thought, this reminds me of my hometown. I looked them in the eyes and I greeted them by saying, “Good evening.” That’s when the longest elevator ride of my life began. Two of them turned their backs to me, literally facing the wall. The third one pulled out his mobile phone, disappearing in another world another time. I felt so bad. What just happened?

The Struggle with Social Interaction

Of course, inner judgment arrived on my shoulder, saying things like, “Kaspar, you said it too loud.” Nah, probably the timing was bad. It’s all about the timing. You know what? You smell bad. Of course, these are ridiculous thoughts. But when I thought about it, it’s not like they reacted as they did out of joy. And soon enough, the city helped me see that it’s not just me or my neighbors.

It’s pretty much all of us. Public transportation. We would sit next to someone we don’t know, only if there’s no other option. A busy cafe at lunchtime. I would see people stand for five minutes, watching their food get cold, just so they would not have to approach a stranger and ask them, “Sorry, can I eat with you, because the rest of the tables are taken?” And, of course, the latest surveys indicate that we’ve never felt as lonely as we do now. Most of us, we don’t know how to be with people we don’t know. We don’t know how to converse with strangers.

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But they are part of our lives. Every day we pass by hundreds of strangers. That’s hundreds of opportunities to brighten up our day. To be kind. To be noticed. To be grateful for the time and space we share. I’m no exception. There were so many moments daily when I, because of interactions with strangers, would feel imprisoned in my own fear. What will they think about me? Will they accept me? I didn’t want to live like that. It was time to break free.

Embracing Improv for Personal Growth

And improv theater proved to be the key, the key to change. To change from “go away” to “come closer.” I used to see strangers as a possible threat. Now I see strangers as an opportunity to break my shyness. Although most of the world sees improvised theater as comedy and entertainment, it can be so much more, and it is so much more. After a few years of practicing here in Latvia, I decided to go to a place where it all started.