The Suspect Within: How To Interrogate Yourself - Justin Atherton (Transcript)

Read the full transcript of Justin Atherton’s talk titled “The Suspect Within: How To Interrogate Yourself” at TEDxSouthlake 2024 conference.

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TRANSCRIPT:

The Power of Self-Interrogation

JUSTIN ATHERTON: You’re lying to yourself, and so is everyone else. Have you ever wondered how often you deceive yourself without even realizing it? Show you how to uncover these hidden truths by interrogating your suspect within. And in doing so, this will lead you to profound personal growth, enhanced authenticity, and success. With nearly two decades of experience in law enforcement, I’ve honed a unique ability to detect deception that goes far beyond criminal investigations.

And this same expertise can be applied to personal development offering insights into the complexity of self-deception and how to overcome it. We’ll dive into how content analysis works, explore its practical applications for self-interrogation, and uncover the long-term benefits of embracing this transformative approach. By the end of our time together, you’ll have the tools to challenge your own inner narratives and align your actions with your true potential by interrogating that suspect within.

Understanding the Complexity of Deception

Let’s start by understanding the complexity of deception. In a study from 2023, Scientific America said that we lie one or two times a day, but they never defined what a lie was.

Serious lies. We tend to leave out concealment, falsification, embellishment, exaggeration, minimization, bluffs, half-truths, and by omission, all which are levels of deception. And these subtleties can obscure our understanding of the truth and hinder our ability to take decisive action. And lying is not an accident. It’s a lack of commitment to excellence.

Being an experienced police officer, you learn a thing or two about being lied to. I’ve been a detective, a SWAT breacher, a patrol sergeant, and a lieutenant over training and operations. The main theme of my career has been focused on training. Whether that was one-on-one with new officers, teaching groups, leadership and interrogation techniques, or creating and managing entire training programs. And my favorite part of the job has always been conducting interviews.

And some essential skills that you need to be a great interviewer are reading body language or facial expressions and even the pitch and tone of someone’s voice to determine potential deception. And I’ll share a secret with you all. I teach my teenage daughter these same skills knowing her future boyfriends don’t stand a chance. Suspect who started off by being deceptive. Handle another task.

And while I was away, I overheard a fellow officer joking with the suspect saying, “Hey, you know you’re talking to a human lie detector, right?” How he wished I was his dad. He told me everything I needed to know. The missing piece of this toolkit, the absolute best way to interrogate your suspect within is content analysis.

Content Analysis: A Cheat Code for Self-Deception Detection

And once you learn how to use this tool it will feel like a cheat code to detecting deception within yourself. So content analysis, sometimes referred to as statement analysis, has been widely used since the early twentieth century. It’s even been reported to be used during Shakespeare’s time. Within law enforcement, content analysis is used to determine the truthfulness and accuracy of written and spoken word. And by focusing on subtle linguistic cues such as pronouns, verb tense, or specific vocabulary, content analysis helps reveal hidden meanings, emotions, or inconsistencies that may indicate deception, underlying emotions, or underlying beliefs.

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I accidentally discovered that I could use this tool on myself, on that inner suspect. I was on a trip down to Houston, Texas, and I parked my truck with a valet. And at the end of the weekend when I got my truck back, I noticed it had been keyed from nose to tail on the passenger side. I wasn’t happy. And as I wrote my statement for the insurance company, I wrote, “I drove my truck to Houston. I gave my truck to the valet. At the end of the weekend, when I got my truck back from the valet, I noticed the truck had been keyed.” I stopped writing.

Now, as a reminder, I said a change in pronouns was a clue. And in my statement, I wrote, “I drove my truck to Houston. I gave my truck to the valet. When I got my truck back from the valet, the truck was damaged.” Well, change the distancing language. Why? Well, at the point my truck was damaged, I didn’t want it anymore. It became “the truck.” I thought, wait a minute. I’m trained on this topic. I’ve taught others about this again, how to use it, and it still came out of me in real time.

So, I began to explore how I could use this tool on myself. Could I use it to interrogate that inner voice that has the tendency to undermine me when I least expect it? The answer to that is yes.

The WAVE Method: Words, Awareness, Verify, and Engage

So how do we use this new tool of content analysis? Well, like anything else, it takes practice. And knowing the words to avoid is step one of what I call the WAVE method. Words, Awareness, Verify, and Engage. Within the long list of categories inside of content analysis, I narrowed it down to the three types of words that are most beneficial when interrogating yourself: Absolutes, Equivocations, and Stop Action Verbs.

Absolutes

Absolutes are words such as always, never, every, none, everyone, and constantly. Unchanging state or action without any qualifications. And they most often show up for us in our arguments. “You always do this,” or “You never do that.” They’re a way to exaggerate your ideas, and they most often lead to heated debates or arguments about the validity of their use.

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Equivocations

Equivocations are words such as perhaps, maybe, it seems, I think, I believe. These words introduce ambiguity or doubt about the speaker’s topic. “I might go to the event on Friday.” There are ways to speak with deliberate vagueness when you use these equivocal words.

So pay attention to how these phrases show up for you and the topics of discussion.

Stop Action Verbs

The most important of these are stop action verbs. These are words such as try, started, plan to, meant to, want to, need to, love to, and here in the South, fixing to. These words imply a level of failure. And when we use them to talk about the actions we intend to take, it creates a plan B. “I want to go to the gym today.” Well, it tells your brain, if we don’t make it, that’s alright. “I’m going to start eating better.” It tells your brain, if it’s convenient, I will. If not, it could also imply that a task has never begun at all or it’s a way to prepare yourself to fail.

Now, when I’ve talked about these words in the past, I tend to receive a level of skepticism. “Well, Justin, it’s not a big deal to say try or plan to. This is how everyone talks all the time.” Okay. I propose a challenge to everyone here in the audience and everyone watching or listening. To your significant other and try to be faithful to you. And I plan to be faithful to you. And I meant to be faithful to you.

Now, we’re getting really bad. We all expect 100% certainty when we hear those types of statements. The only way we will accept it is “I will be faithful” or “I’m going to be faithful to you.” And I know each one of you felt it. Imagining hearing that from your partner or having to say it to them. So why would we talk to ourselves with that same level of implied failure when it comes to our hopes, our dreams, our aspirations?

Step two of the WAVE method is awareness. A sentence leaves your mouth, you have to be able to interrupt the thought. “I want to go to the gym” No. “I will go to the gym today.” Always listening to us, and we have to tell it exactly what we will be accomplishing. It’s similar to building a new habit. We have to create the new neural pathways in our brain through repetition.

Now, don’t beat yourself up if you use these words. I still have these words slip out from time to time. And then when relevant, I correct my language. Step three is verify. I have my clients use journals or even a tally to bring awareness of the specific words that they favor. I have them verify their emails and text messages and verify the content before sending them out, especially those in leadership roles.

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Imagine the importance of being completely truthful with your team as a leader.

Step four, the final step, is engage. And this is the most effective way to practice using content analysis, engaging with an accountability partner. So share this with a co-worker, share it with your family, and have them point out when you use these specific words. They may even join you in the challenge.

Long-Term Benefits of Self-Interrogation

The long-term benefits of self-focused interrogation are profound. Personally, it’s enhanced my integrity and leadership effectiveness by aligning my dialogue with my values and aspirations, which in turn helps me make clear decisions and communicate more effectively. Imagine the impact when individuals and teams embrace this approach, leading to a more authentic empowered community. And this level of awareness, this glance through the lens of the human experience, it isn’t a destination. But it’s a continuous journey.

And through confronting our suspect within, we’re able to uncover those hidden narratives. So join me on this pursuit of truth and transformation where we harness the power of language to lead ourselves and others with purpose and integrity. If we start telling ourselves and others the truth, what kind of world could we create?

And nothing sums this talk up better than this quote from Star Wars where Yoda says, “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”

Conclusion

So from this talk, you’ve learned how deception isn’t just about blatant lies, but also includes subtle forms of undermining language. We’ve explored how absolutes, equivocations, and stop action verbs hinder our ability to take decisive action. By understanding and applying content analysis, we’re able to uncover those hidden narratives, replace them with definitive language, and align our action with our true potential.

Ultimately, embracing this approach will lead you to profound personal growth, enhanced authenticity, and success. And by using the WAVE method, Words, Awareness, Verify, and Engage, it gives you a way to practice this daily.

So I challenge you all to embark on a journey of self-interrogation. Stop lying to yourself. Remember to WAVE. Embrace the discomfort of confronting those inner narratives and biases. Let’s stop deceiving ourselves and start speaking our truth with clarity and conviction. Only then can we inspire meaningful change within ourselves and our community. Thank you.

The Suspect Within: How To Interrogate Yourself – Justin Atherton (Transcript)