Read the full transcript of Troy Smith’s talk titled “Hope-Driven Leadership: Transforming People and Teams” at TEDxOneonta 2025 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
The Power of Music and Memory
TROY SMITH: Have you ever heard a song that takes you back in time to a happy place? For me, that song is Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough.” It was 1979. My dad owned a record store in the Bronx, New York, and we had this speaker that played music from inside the store out into the street. As I would put this record on, people would come scrambling into the store with curiosity and excitement, and they would ask, “Is that Michael?”
I would say, “Yes. This is Michael. This is his first single of his debut solo album, ‘Off the Wall.'” You see, many of us have moments that are attached to music that are etched in our memories. And when we think about them, we still smile.
Remember the joy of that experience? In that regard, for me, I smile big when I think about Michael’s song because I think about my dad. My dad would come rushing into the store with boxes of 45 singles. Yes, vinyl. I’m sorry. If you don’t know what 45 singles are, Google it. He would say, “Son, keep playing the song over and over again. It’s going to be a hit.” My dad was right. It earned Michael his first-ever Grammy.
Building a Relationship with My Father
You know, when I think about the times of working alongside my dad in the record store during the summers, those are special moments for me because it was the only time that I truly was able to connect and have quality time with him. As I became an adult, as I grew and our relationship grew, we became more like buddies. We enjoyed having good times even with the simplest things. As a matter of fact, when we called each other, you would think that we were two characters on the old Budweiser commercials back in the early 2000s because we’d get on the phone. And my dad is doing the same thing on the other side.
You know, I coined myself a student of life. And just like all of you, I’m enrolled in Adversity University. The longer I live, the more I realize that adversity can strike at any given moment. But it’s how we rise that helps define us.
The Call That Changed Everything
Friday, 05/31/2013, I got the call that rocked my world and changed my life forever. I was on my way to work at GEICO, and my Uncle Mike informed me that my dad had a stroke, took a fall, and now he’s in the hospital in a coma. Torn on what to do because I’m in Florida, my dad’s in New York, I’m thinking, do I drop everything and rush up to New York? But then I’m like, wait a minute. My Uncle Mike is there. My big brother Gary is there. My dad’s girlfriend Sheila is there, and he’s in the hospital. Let me just wait on some reports before I make any major moves.
My wife saw everything I was going through, and she decided just to make the arrangements. She booked the first available flight out of Florida to get up here to New York, and that was set for Sunday. Saturday, my dad’s girlfriend, Sheila, calls me. And Sheila explained that my dad’s condition was getting worse, and she encouraged me to talk to my dad in that moment. She took her cell phone and put it to my dad’s ear. I told my dad I love him and hold on. I was on my way to come soon. Two hours later, my dad passed.
I lost it. I cried. I cried. In the beginning, I was angry at me. I was angry at myself for hesitating, for not making moves earlier. And then the pain shifted to the realization of I no longer will have the opportunity to feel his hug, to laugh with him, to hang out with my dad, the realization that I lost my dad.
Dealing with Grief and Empathy
I spent the next two weeks in New York, not too far from here, Milton, New York, alongside my big brother, Gary, as we were planning for my dad’s funeral and settling all of his affairs. And it was in this moment that I realized how we communicate as a society, I recognized a couple of things. The first thing was people’s robotic, casual attempts at extending empathy. I’m on the phone and people tell me, “Mr. Smith, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.” “Mr. Smith, I understand exactly what you’re going through.” And then on my mind, I’m thinking, how could anyone know exactly what I’m going through?
How can anyone know the dysfunctional relationship that my dad and I had when I was a little kid? The disappointments, the no-shows. Me being 12 years old shutting my dad out completely out of my life because I was so tired of all the disappointments and the hurt associated with it. How could anyone know the healing and the mending that we had to go through to restore our relationship? How could anyone know about our last game at Yankee Stadium we attended, taking that experience in as we went to so many Yankee games? How could anyone know that we were planning to go to our second Super Bowl? How could anyone know that deep down I was hurting so bad wishing I had that year back to cash in that year back to be with my dad?
Finding Purpose Through Pain
As painful as it was, actually, it still is. My dad’s passing created a huge shift in my life, giving me this deep, inspiring need to transform. Mark Twain stated, “Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.” My dad’s passing propelled me as I found new clarity and new purpose, reprogramming my own ability to communicate and value people.
And this is what led to teach, model, and coach. Yes. TMC, this whole methodology.
Teach, model, and coach is a leadership methodology built on principles that every individual is seen, heard, and valued. TMC promotes hope, and I use hope in so many different acronyms. One is help open people’s eyes. Hope.
After my dad’s passing, I decided to have massive action in creating a methodology to make sure that my team at GEICO, as in a leadership position, that no one experiences the type of pain that I just went through. And so it took me several years before I rolled it out. And in 2017, I rolled it out to my team at GEICO. I have a book coming out called “Value Driven Leadership.” In that book, I go very deeper into the transformation period. But by 2021, we built massive momentum as we claimed the number one sales spot in the entire company of GEICO for the year. We dominated. And we kept that going on to June of 2022, 18 months of dominating as the top team in the company.
But check this out. When I rolled that out, this is going to sound crazy as a sales manager. When I rolled that out, I wasn’t worried about number ones. My true inspiration is on my watch, none of my team members will ever feel devalued. That was my motivation.
And on my YouTube channel, I have this series called Leadership Reflections. It has 24 different videos that capture my entire GEICO career, my leadership career with GEICO. But if you look at segments 22 and 23, you have testimonies from people that experienced TMC, in which they will show you how powerful this leadership methodology truly is.
TMC Beyond the Workplace
But here’s the sweet thing about TMC. It transcends the workplace, enhancing communication in your home. So bringing value to the people that we tend to love the most. So because of its impact, my goal is to get in front of every CEO, every corporation, every leadership group, creating a much-needed leadership shift that provides hope to all, helping other people excel.
The Teach Component of TMC
So when you think about TMC, I won’t be able to break everything down. I hit the first component real short and sweet, the teach component. And in the teach component, you have to be an effective communicator. So let’s start with some basic communication foundations. We have a sender-receiver dynamic. The sender comes up with a thought and idea, right, conveys this over to the receiver. Receiver receives it, interprets, processes, and then replies. Simple, right?
Here’s what happens in our world. Because we are in a fast-paced, high-tech environment, most people actually, think about it yourself. Think about it yourself. As the receiver, how many times have you caught yourself crafting a response and the other person’s still talking? And then from the sender’s aspect, I know it’s clear in my mind, so I assume that everyone should get it because it’s so clear to me. These are two simple examples of how we start to devalue people.
Improving Communication
And because teach, model, and coach is built strongly on communication, I want to just focus on three areas to improve. The first area is be clear and concise. Speak about the origins. Where is this coming from? If you just think about something, hey. Let me just out of the blue no. Give the origin. What happened that you’re speaking about this. And then add a story to it or illustrations to cement the point.
Second, ask for clarity. Get clear understanding. Ask the person, “Hey. What are you walking away with as you heard this message?” Or better yet, “Why don’t you give me back what you just heard so that I can ensure that you just received this?”
And then third, listen with intentionality. Lean in. Remove all distractions like electronic devices or anything that will compete for your attention. And when these people are giving you stuff back and it doesn’t quite coincide with what you gave, that’s okay. Now comes the coaching aspect. But be very careful as you approach the coaching aspect. Be careful of the danger zones. The danger zones of “I understand” or giving a compliment or an acknowledgment, and then it’s followed with “but” all devaluing.
See, with TMC, the coaching dialogue is really geared to edify people, empower them, and equip them. Teach, model, and coach this leadership methodology, it’s a game changer. It improves associate retention. It improves your overall productivity, and it creates an environment of synergy that’s filled with value that people feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
A Call to Action
So ladies and gentlemen, I can see a little bit of you. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s what I want to ask you. Will you join me in spreading hope today? And you may thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Here’s how you can do that. In your very next conversation, be clear and concise, check for understanding, and listen with intentionality. That simple. Imagine this. Imagine this. Since we’re at a TEDx, imagine this. Imagine the impact that we all could have if we follow these simple yet powerful steps. And I know I just gave you a little bit about TMC. There’s so much more. But just for right now, imagine the ripple effect that it will have on your homes, your workplaces, and communities just by transforming the way we converse.
Once again, TMC, teach, modeling, coach, this leadership methodology is a game changer. So as I close, I want to leave you with the timeless words of Maya Angelou. She said, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Let’s level up in our leadership approach. Let’s leverage, teach, model, and coach so that people feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated. Oh, and let’s provide hope, harnessing optimistic perspectives every day. Thank you.
