Tim Dillon Show #484: Epstein, Wexner, & The Great Silverware Heist (Transcript)

We’re doing this.”

It was one of those things where you would order the lunch, and then he’d be like, “Bro, I couldn’t forget this one. I’m finna get you ketchup,” but it’s a fully white guy. “Finna get you ketchup. What up, plur?” It was just too much. It was awkward, and it was too much.

But if it’s tastefully done — and this guy, tastefully done white black guy — I think it’s an attractive quality if it’s tastefully done. If the white black guy is done in a tasteful way where it’s not so over the top and silly, where it’s insane.

True Food Kitchen, by the way, worst restaurant in America. Disgusting, tasteless crap, sue me. “Oh, it’s so good for you.” It’s not, and it’s terrible. It’s a restaurant dedicated to, like, everything’s in an air fryer, but it’s not good. And they pretend it’s healthy. American restaurants should just not even attempt to be healthy. They don’t even know how to do it. They should just try to kill you. If you’re going to be healthy, buy the food, cook it.

If you go out to eat in this country, you should go out knowing that the restaurants are actively trying to kill you. And any restaurant that goes, “We’re actually only trying to wound you,” they’re also trying to kill you. So there’s True Food Kitchen that hired this sweet guy, probably two months out of prison or rehab or whatever, and it was just a white black high-energy thing I couldn’t get with because it was so over the top.

“I’m finna get you ketchup, and I ain’t trying to get you charged for this ketchup. I ain’t trying to get you charged for this ketchup, blur.” And I was like, “Yo.” He heard I was from New York. He was like, “I’ll be around there sometimes.” And I was like, “Hey man, I just want the baked chicken finger here.”

Meeting New People Gets Harder

But this white black guy that I’m now friends with — it’s classy. It’s done well. I think it’s important that it’s just done well. Now if it starts to go overboard, I’ll have to detach. But I’m very excited because right now, this white black guy, who I didn’t think I would like because another mutual friend brought him to my studio and was like, “This guy’s cool,” and I’m like, “Ugh.”

Because most people — and this is what happens at forty-one — most people, it’s tedious to even talk to them or be near them or around them. And I don’t want to sound like I’m an antisocial hermit. I’m not. I force myself to suffer through this.

The people in my life — agents, managers, business managers, assistants, personal friends, family — it gets harder and harder. The yoke that binds you together just isn’t as much of a connective tissue as you get older. Some people in your life, and now maybe you don’t have this experience, and bless you. I know I was accused the other day of being so negative on this show. Love and light to everyone who doesn’t have this experience. God bless you.

But as you get older, it is harder to tolerate people, especially new people. At least with old people, you go, “I know what I hate about you. And you know what you hate about me, and we overlook that, and we get to the things that we like about each other.”

Or there are certain friends you have that you just like talking to about certain things. I have friends where I just talk to them about certain real estate markets in certain cities, and it’s been a decade-long friendship where I will just talk to certain people about what’s going on. Certain people call me. “See, Austin’s getting f*ed.” I go, “I know.” And it’s twenty-five minutes on the phone once a month, once every two months. And that’s okay.

The Myth of “Interesting People”

So I don’t like meeting a lot of new people. When you’re young, you’re like, “I really want to meet a lot of people. I love meeting interesting people.” By the way, anyone who says that is a crazy person. Anyone who says they like meeting interesting people is mentally ill. I’m telling you. Because it doesn’t happen that frequently that anyone can even like it.

I meet interesting people all the time. It’s terrible. It’s actually terrible. I meet interesting people all the time, and it gets actually not that interesting. You will meet people in the world that are so interesting, it’s actually not that interesting. It goes full circle.

So now my game is I’d like to meet people that are moderately interesting, or not that interesting, and pull out of them something that is interesting. “Oh, your mother faked her own death and disappeared for a year and then came back?” That I like.

I don’t want to meet people who are like, “I built a company from the ground up.” Already I’m sick when I hear that. Already at a dinner, when I hear “I built this from the ground up,” I’m physically ill and I want to kill myself. “I built this from the ground up, and in the beginning, nobody really believed—” Oh my god. Come with a gun. Shoot me in the face now.

“And my boys believed in me, but not even they did. And it took a while. And the first seed round—” Oh my god. Get a noose tied around my neck. Make sure it’s strong enough, and lift me to the rafters, and let me go see God, because I can’t.

Back to the Snow Strippers

But I like this new person, this new white black guy. It’s done well. It has class. There’s charisma. It’s not over the top. It’s not like that waiter. And it reminds me of an archetype from my childhood. We had a lot of white black guys on Long Island. Some went overboard, some are dead. They got too into it. But this one is good, and he’s got a white black guy name, and it’s a cool name. I’m not going to say it, but the white guy’s got to have a cool name. That’s all I’ll say.

But I can’t do anymore “What up, I’m finna get that ketchup.” I can’t do it. It’s awkward. It’s disrespectful to the contribution that Black people have made in our country. It really is. It’s wrong on every level. I don’t know why it’s not called out. If I decided to be a Dominican woman for a year, people would say that’s not good. I’m just saying.

But good job on the Snow Strippers. She’s a Russian woman. She’s attractive. Not really to me, biologically, I don’t care. But she’s an attractive lady, and she’s up there singing for the trans furry goth Mexicans, and a few serial killers want to scoop them up and put them in the trunk, and myself, and the white black guy who’s not my best friend.

And then in the beginning of it, they couldn’t get the tech right. So they had to keep leaving the stage and apologizing, and all the trans Mexican goths were deflated by this. And they’re sad anyway, I think. They have a lot of emotional things. No one’s happy ever, by the way, in our country.

I was talking to Lucy Kay about that. No one’s happy in America. I don’t know why, but no one looks happy. They’re all at a concert, but they all kind of have that glazed look. They’re all raised on a phone and whatever. They only get happy when this Russian woman gets on the stage. And then immediately there’s a problem, and they apologize. They go, “We’re so sorry that we had to do this to you.” And then the trans Mexican goth kids get sad.

And then some of them came over to me, and they were like, “Yo, can I get a picture?” I was like, “Of course you can.” Little chupacabras.

The News, Hope, and the State of the World

TIM DILLON: And then so these chupacabras are sad, and these little trans chupacabras then go nuts when the snow, that Russian chick, comes right on again, and they all start going nuts. And it was lovely. It was a lovely event, and it was nice to go. It was enjoyable because, you know, we’re maybe on the verge of war with Iran, and we don’t know.

And I don’t want to be negative about that. Somebody sent me a clip where these guys were disgusting me, they were like, “We’re fans of him, but he always tells people that there’s no hope.” And I go, “I’m not saying there’s no hope. He’s telling people they can’t have a good life.” I said, “I’ve never said that.”

I’ve never said that. If you look at the news right now and you’re overwhelmed with a sense of hope, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, honestly, if you read the news right now and hope is the first word that comes into your mind, I’m confused. That’s all I would say. I’m not trying to spread negativity here.

The show is literally me reacting to what’s going on in the world. And if you think what’s going on in the world — look, I get it. We’re run by a cabal of satanic pedophiles. There’s tremendous wealth inequality. We have a technocracy that’s built autonomous drone armies, but you can still have a good life.

I get it. I’m not telling you you can’t have a good life. Go have a good life. What I’m saying is when you look at the trends happening, you have to sit with that for a minute and go, “Oh, yeah. This might shape up to be bad.”

It might. It might work out well. It might all work out well. The seven people that have all the money and all the autonomous robotic drone armies, they might be benevolent rulers in our kingdom. So I’m not saying you can’t go get a sticky bun or take a jog with the dog on Sunday morning.

I’m saying the news gets you a little deflated if you read it. And they’re like, “Why is Tim Dillon mad? He has a nice car.” Hey, man. I’m lucky I have a silly car that I’ve wanted since I was a little kid that I can drive. But I don’t know that that invalidates the larger trends of what’s happening, and the country’s not doing great.

I know that in some areas it feels like it’s doing great, but it’s not doing great. We’re in forty trillion dollars worth of debt. That’s number one, a big problem. We’re on the verge of a potentially major war with Iran. That’s not good. The average age of a homeowner is thirty-nine years old. People are less likely to go out and hook up and get married and have children. So society looks a lot differently than it did when I grew up, and I’m responding to all of that.

It’s not to depress anyone or tell anyone you can’t have a good life. I have a good life, as people bring up when you criticize anything. They go, “You have a Rolls Royce. Shut up.” Why would you point something out that’s glaringly obvious to literally anyone?

The “Things Are Great” Crowd

TIM DILLON: There’s a contingent of people that want you to say things are great. Things are great. That Sean Hannity crew, Ben Shapiro’s in there, but it’s a big Murdoch, Fox News kind of crew. And then also there’s people on the left — more the mainstream Democrats — but their instinct is always to go, “Things are good if people just listened to women. We’d be better. That’s our only real issue.”

Things would be good if we had a trans Spider-Man. The real issue is the lack of representation on the shows that nobody watches anyway. If minorities got more work in the shows that no one watched anyway, no one would need health care. Everything would be fine. That’s an impulse. I get it. It’s an impulse to just tell everyone to shut up and say things are good.

Getting Fired and Taking the Blame

TIM DILLON: Well, Tim Dillon’s not going to work in — and these were nice guys. I mean, they weren’t like they disagreed with me on things. One of them goes, “Tim Dillon’s not going to do another movie because you trashed that director.” Number one — how many movies was I in before that? Was I a movie star? I just didn’t know it.

Number two, did you see that movie? What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to say it was a cinematic achievement? That director is a great director, and he’s directed lots of other projects that have been classics. He’s a legendary comedy director, and he’ll direct a lot more great stuff that I won’t be in.

And side note — I did look at a condo, and I’ll say his name, Todd Phillips, whatever. People know who it is. I looked at a condo in this building in LA called the Sierra Towers, and the realtor said it was a really nice condo. It was a little while ago. The realtor said, “You know Todd Phillips, the big director? He owns two units on this floor,” and he goes, “Maybe you’ll bump into him in the elevator, because you’re a comedian. That would be pretty cool.” And I was like, “Oh,” and I just took my realtor and said, “Let’s go. Let’s go now.”

But listen, I get fired all the time. I was fired by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Do you understand that? I was the only comedian fired by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I’ll be fired again, and I never blame anyone for my firing. It’s usually my fault. It’s almost always my fault.

Israel, Iran, and American Foreign Policy

TIM DILLON: I think these two guys — to their credit, they’re fans of the show — but they thought that I believe Israel has too much influence in American foreign policy. This is something that I believe. It’s a crazy, wacky belief that I’ve attained over the last couple of years. I believe that Israel has too much influence over American foreign policy. I don’t believe that the Jews are a shadowy cabal keeping people from things. I believe the country of Israel has too much influence with American foreign policy.

And when the leader of Israel visits Washington seven times to try to get us into a war with Iran, it is not in our interest, really. I mean, it’s just not.

No one’s afraid of Iran. I’ve grown up my whole life hearing about Iran. Like, Iran’s this behemoth that’s going to come kill everyone while you’re out at the mall. Iran’s just going to start firing nuclear missiles, intercontinental ballistic missiles. This is what these boomers fantasize about — that one day you’re going to wake up, open your door, and it’s just chaos. People are driving their cars into each other. It’s the scene from a disaster movie.

And you go, “What? What’s happening?” And your neighbor’s going to go, “Bob, it’s Iran.” And you’re going to go, “I knew it. I knew it.”

One day you just open your door and the world is falling apart. There are explosions, and people are running full speed, grabbing their kids, going, “We gotta get out of here.” And you go, “What’s going on?” And your wife’s like, “I bet it’s Iran.”

So that’s what they’re selling. That’s the sales pitch — that our country, which is separated by water, and we have a massive military and a nuclear arsenal, and any attack on America would sign the death warrant of the Iranian regime. So they would have to be suicidal and crazy to attack America, but supposedly they are. And they’ve been planning this big attack on America where we would then destroy their civilization in a matter of minutes, but supposedly that’s their MO, and they want to do that.

And I don’t believe that’s the case. I think it’s a war that primarily would benefit Israel, because Iran is the biggest regional threat to Israel. Whatever. There are people that disagree with that analysis. You’re allowed to disagree with that analysis. I would say you’re wrong. I would say that I’m right.

Trump barely talked about Iran. Iran was not an issue. Was it a big issue under Obama? I know he made that deal, and people fault him for that. Is Iran’s nuclear program really peaceful? I don’t know. I’m sure Iran would like a nuke. I’m sure a lot of countries would like nukes.

But supposedly Iran’s like five minutes away from a nuclear weapon, and it’s not enough to attack the missile sites, which we did. We have to go in and engage in a regime change war, which would be a real war. Obviously we would win, but it would be a big war and people would die and oil prices would spike and the global economy would suffer. Iran is going to get weaponry from China and Russia, and they already have, and that’s intensified over the last few weeks.

And we’re going to spend a lot of money to replace the Iranian regime with what? I mean, it’s a country of ninety million people, and supposedly we’re going to put somebody in there who they all love. I don’t know who it is. I don’t know what the plan is. The plan is to send the Shah’s son — this guy who’s been living in Bethesda, Maryland, having brunch with the CIA every week for the last thirty years. We’re going to stuff him in there, and he’s going to show up and everything’s going to work. Well, I hope it does, by the way.

So these guys were criticizing me for kind of losing the plot, and that’s okay. I don’t think I’ve lost the plot, but it’s completely understandable for people to say they think I’m wrong about something, and that’s okay. I don’t think I’m wrong about it.

Maybe the Iran War Will Be Fun

TIM DILLON: But here’s the other thing — maybe the Iran war is actually a fing blast. Maybe it’s a blast, and I’m not ruling that out. Like, it’s fun as f, and we’re all into it more than the Olympics.

And I’m going to play something I did for the Olympics. It’s a nice little commercial I did for J. Crew. And it’s not a commercial, it’s a short film. And the guy who directed it was lovely. I have nothing bad to say about any of it.

The Olympics Are Dead to Me

TIM DILLON: But I will say this about the Olympics in general — I think the Iran war will be more fun than the Olympics if we have it. I don’t like the Olympics. I used to love it as a kid. I don’t know what it is. People keep trying to make it a thing. It’s an embarrassment. I hate it.

If you talk about the Olympics, I automatically assume something is wrong with you. I have no time to hear about the Olympics. I cannot imagine the mental state someone has to be in to go home and watch the Olympics. It is a huge predictor of whether me and you are going to be friends if you choose to reference something that happened at the Olympics.

I’m telling you, I don’t care about anybody. I don’t care that you thought the opening ceremony was satanic. I don’t care that you got really invested in the bobsledding. I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t care that the skier broke her leg and now her career’s over. None of this matters anymore.

It’s like Hollywood’s dying. We’re not going to care about the Olympics. Folks, when I grew up, Olympians were stars.

The Olympics, J.Crew, and College Hazing

They had backstories you cared about, then it got really sad, and I’ve talked about it on the show before where they’re like, “He lived in a car for years. Mother shot herself in the face, and now he’s going for gold.”

And you’re like, well, this is a little dark because people’s lives have gotten so dark that the backstory used to be, “His father got him up every morning, and they went down to the frozen lake. And his father was like, ‘You’re going to be a figure skater because you’re gay.'” And that was nice.

That was a nice thing. And he’s like, “You can suck all the cock that you want when you win gold,” or something like that. That was fine. That was fine.

But then it became really dark where it was like his mother bought lottery tickets every day, and she would sit there smoking cigs and scratching her scratch offs. And he looked at her, and he said, “The only way I’m going to get us out of here is if I do the pole vault,” or whatever. It’s just weird.

And now it’s like nothing. Can you get up anything about this skier who lost her career? Or am I even remembering this right? Didn’t a woman have an injury and now she can’t ski anymore?

TIM DILLON: Lindsey Vonn, a forty-one year old five-time Olympian. Suffered a complex severe left tibia fracture after a high speed crash during the February 8th Olympic downhill in Milan, Cortina. Following a horror crash, she underwent multiple surgeries, her leg in pieces, with recent updates indicating that she’s recovering and back on US soil.

Now listen. Can we — let’s watch this because, again, obviously, it’s sad that she got hurt, but I just don’t care about this.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: She crashed just seconds into her downhill run.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: She goes airborne and then goes in a weird turn. That’s not what you’re supposed to do. I don’t even ski, and I know that. It’s over.

Here’s the thing, folks. That doesn’t make me feel anything, and it doesn’t make you feel anything. And stop lying. Alright. Get her out of here.

But it’s not real anymore. If Hollywood celebrities aren’t real, we’re certainly not going to care. I hope her leg is better, but this is nothing. The Olympics aren’t a thing, and they haven’t been for years.

The Olympics: A Distraction?

And no one’s — what conversation starts with, “Did you see the Olympics?” The people that are watching the Olympics, it’s like these little cute influencers in New York. They’re all getting paid, and they’re all like — and they send them all to the Olympics. And they’re all trying to distract you from all the stuff that’s going on, which, as they should be. But they’re all like, “Whoa. I cannot believe I’m here at the Olympics. It’s such an honor.”

Let me tell you right now. The J.Crew people, who I did this short film for — it was about Olympic skiing and how skiing became a sport — it was lovely, and the kids on set were very nice. One of them, I got in a fight with. I called him Young Sheldon. He said “big back.” I get it. The whole fat thing. He called me Tim Cheese. Then it became me and him — he was like a nine year old kid — just started fighting about whether countries should have borders, who has sovereignty, whatever. It just degenerated. But whatever. It doesn’t matter. The point is it was a lovely experience.

We’ll play it in a minute. But they invited me. They go, “You could actually come to the Olympics.” And I go, “Yeah. But why?” They go, “But you’d be at the — it would be cool. You’d be at the Olympics in Milan.” I go, “Yeah. But I just don’t — if I was at the Olympics, I’m telling you, I would just walk around and go, ‘Why are we still doing this?'”

Can you get up Jake Paul and JD Vance talking at the Olympics? Look at Vance. Look at his wife and look at Jake Paul. I mean, that was the Olympics. This is the Olympics. Get that photo up.

I like Jake Paul. I don’t hate JD Vance. I think they’re making a big mess of it up there. But I’m going to fly ten hours for this? Because I would have been in that row. It’s Jake Paul, JD Vance, and then me, and I’m eating a pastry. That’s the row I’m in most likely.

Or I’m, like, even more shamefully, I’m somewhere seated behind them. But that’s the crew. Where do you think I’m going? You think I’m going with the young, hot influencers? I’m going right next to Vance, the wife, and Paul. And I’m sitting there eating a tiramisu, disinterested, watching this woman break her leg.

And I turned to JD Vance and go, “Oh.” And then I would have made him laugh. I would have went, “Kinda Pam Bondi.” It’s the way Pam Bondi is handling everything. And he would have went, “Well, the thing about Pam…” But that’s where I’d be. I’d be in that row getting destroyed. So I didn’t go to the Olympics.

The J.Crew Short Film

Let’s play a little bit of this J.Crew short film. I play a ski instructor talking to the children.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

TIM DILLON: What are you even learning here? I mean, what the hell kind of school even is this? Gravitas is honor and dignity. Honor and dignity are truth. Truth is God. God is the mountain. Okay? Are you getting that through your little heads? Some of you have abnormally large heads. Unnatural. And it’s something you’ll have to deal with, but not today.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: That was the kid I saw. He started a chant — “Tim Cheese” — which is like something you’re adding in your game or something. He started this. It’s hard to say. “Gravitas is honor and dignity. Honor and dignity are truth. Truth is God. God is the mountain.” And then I responded by calling him Young Sheldon.

So he starts this chant. Literally. He starts to chant, “Tim Cheese. Tim Cheese.” And then he goes “big back.” And then I go, “Okay. Shut up, Young Sheldon.” And then I burned him. I cooked him. And then the kids responded to that, and he was genuinely deflated. But then he came back at me with more chants, and they were being very vicious. They were six-sevening and stuff. They’re sick, young people, and they’re nihilists.

But alright. Let’s watch the rest of it.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

TIM DILLON: Are you getting that through your little heads? And some of your heads aren’t that little. Some of you have abnormally large heads, unnatural, and it’s something you’ll have to deal with, but not today. So have you ever heard of US Ski and Snowboard? Yes. Those are the elite of the elite. Those are our eagles. But it didn’t start out that way. It started out a long time ago when people were just trying to figure out how to get down that mountain. Let me show you.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: Alright. There it is. We’ll post a link to watch this. You can give it a look. J.Crew, obviously, a clothing company that has a winter ski line. And Kevin Ulrich, the director of this, who’s a really great guy, very nice, and allowed me to be a part of it, which is very nice of him. And I don’t hold him accountable, obviously, for the bullying that I experienced on set from the children, which is legally actionable, but whatever. I’m not going to do anything about it because I’m a team player.

College Hazing: Are We Overreacting?

I wanted to talk about this hazing incident here because, again, I think we’re overreacting to it. I just don’t care if college kids want to kill each other, folks. It’s really the least of our problems.

I wasn’t in a frat. I dropped out of community college. I was in the real fraternity, which was the brotherhood of subprime mortgage salesmen on Long Island. And we didn’t need to haze each other. We understood that we stood against a common enemy, which was the FBI, and that creates a bond as well.

You know what creates a bond more than putting ketchup on each other’s shirtless bodies? Crime. Doing crime. I’m kidding. We weren’t even doing crime. It was literally illegal, and most people were happy in those homes for a few years. And that’s all you get in life.

So play this video because there’s a bunch of shirtless, pretty hot, young college guys in a basement, and this is some hazing ritual where you try to get into a frat, and they put a bunch of mayonnaise on you or ketchup or something. And everyone’s horrified by this. And listen. Whatever. It’s childish. It’s silly. Whatever.

I feel like everyone makes the point where they’re like, “Listen. These guys are going to be the future leaders of America.” Hey. Maybe not. Maybe the future leaders of America are going to be robots.

So this looks like something I’ve paid fifty thousand dollars to come home to, by the way. It wouldn’t cost fifty, but maybe ten.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: Anyone want to be forthcoming on what’s going on?

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: Hey. This stops here, guys. This is a police department. This stops here.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: The cops should’ve f*ed off.

Les Wexner, Jeffrey Epstein, and the Cold Call Con

Who’s in charge? The cops should’ve f*ed every single one of them. How hot would it have been? How about we stop — cops went in cleaning this up. Everyone — cops went in off.

And said, “Now let’s do it for real,” and shut the door and f*ed all of them and cracked all of them open. Let me tell you right now. You want to talk about camaraderie? You want to talk about a night that bonds you forever?

By the way, know how people used to bond? When they had terrible lives. This is how me and all my friends used to bond, by the way. You’d be smoking a cigarette. You go, “I have nothing.” And someone would go, “Yeah, me too.” And you just start laughing. That’s the way people used to bond.

You’d be smoking a blunt, and you’d go, “I really don’t have any money. I have nothing going on. And quite frankly, nothing excites me, and I don’t care about anything.” And someone will go, “We have a quiz today,” and you just start laughing. You go, “Dude, I am so f*ed for that.” That was bonding for the lower middle class.

But I get it. This is Greek life. These are the frats. You do all this stuff, and you’re supposed to, like, “Oh, we’re shirtless, and we’re getting ketchup on us,” and supposedly it’s supposed to bond us. No. No. No. Not enough for me.

Imagine this story. “How did you guys become such good friends?” “Well, we’re in the same frat. We were being hazed in the basement, and we would just stand there in some gym shorts, and they would just throw ketchup and mayonnaise at us and stuff, and make Russian dressing on our chest, and they would yell at us. They would get in our face. And then the cops came, and the cops closed the door and f*ed all of us — like hardcore, raw, punishing sex, like no lube, no poppers, no prep, no eating yogurt the night before, just messy, dirty prison gang sex. And some of us cried, some of us liked it, some of us were frankly in the middle. And that’s why we’re such good friends.”

Then somebody will go, “That’s a crazy story. Did you see the Olympics? You see that girl broke her leg on the Olympics? She can’t ski anymore.” This girl we’ve never heard of can’t ski now.

But that would have done it for me. I mean, I think it’s a little overreactive. Like, people are like, “I can’t believe what they’re—” but do you know what I’ve been through in my life? You know how much harder it is than that? You know how much more difficult it is to go through what I’ve been through than to stand for a night or two or a week, whatever, in a basement and get ketchup thrown at you?

Do you understand what it’s like to be at Thanksgiving and you have to defend your friendship with RFK Junior? You want to talk about hazing? I say, “I think he’s nice. I think him and his wife were nice.” You know? I don’t know.

I don’t think it’s such a big deal, the hazing, but maybe it’s because I’m cis — well, I’m not hat. I’m cis gay. What do you call me? What do they call me? I’m not hat. Cis. Cis rich. White. Cis rich white bitch. By the way, those shirts are coming.

Les Wexner: Friend of the Show, Victim of Jeffrey Epstein

TIM DILLON: Let’s talk a little bit about Les Wexner here, friend of the show. Les Wexner is an entrepreneur. He’s an American success story. He’s a legend. He created Victoria’s Secret, and he was swindled by Jeffrey Epstein. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this guy. Jeffrey Epstein was a very dishonest man.

And Les Wexner, billionaire entrepreneur, was taken in and swindled by Jeffrey Epstein because Jeffrey Epstein — Les Wexner hired Jeffrey Epstein to manage all of his money, his billions of dollars of money. Also, he gave him the largest private residence in Manhattan. And Les Wexner, I believe, at one point gave Jeffrey Epstein power of attorney, but he was really swindled.

Like, I imagine this is how it went down. Now Les Wexner, again, legendary entrepreneur, billionaire — you’d think maybe a guy that wouldn’t be able to be swindled, but this is how it went down. Because I know this. I know how easy it is to cold call if you’re good.

The Cold Call: A Dramatic Reconstruction

So Jeffrey Epstein probably — yeah. Les Wexner tells US lawmakers he was naive and conned. So now I want you to imagine Les Wexner, billionaire entrepreneur, Limited Brands, all of that. Les Wexner is sitting at home, and he gets a phone call, and he probably answers his phone in Ohio. He’s on a lead sheet.

So when you sit down to cold call, there’s lead sheets. Okay? So Jeffrey Epstein’s really nervous. He gets the lead sheet. He goes, “Oh, Les Wexner. This is the big whale. Let’s call him.”

“Hello?”

“Hello. It’s Jeff. Jeff Epstein. Is this Les Wexner?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Les, I just wanted to give you a call. Are you happy with the people that are managing your money?”

“Well, yes, I am. Thank you very much. I think I’ll be going.”

“Well, hold on. Hold on. Are you getting the returns you think you should get?”

“Well, you could always get more returns. Yes.”

“That’s what I think. I’m Jeffrey Epstein, and we want to take your money and make your money work for you. We want to make your money work for you. You work for your money. Now why does your money not work for you?”

“That’s a good point. What would I have to do?”

“You give me all your money. Give me all your money. Give me a house. Let me have power of attorney and buy me a house in Manhattan.”

“Well, that sounds reasonable. I’m a billionaire, but you seem like a nice gentleman.”

Here’s what I’m trying to say. Imagine the insanity of believing that Jeffrey Epstein has somehow conned this billionaire entrepreneur into giving him all of his money. Does anyone believe that? Does anyone believe that Les Wexner, who has an army of lawyers and accountants — except the one that they shot, you can Google that, that is true — get up, Les Wexner accountants.

The Murder of Arthur Shapiro

I’m sure it was an accident. Don’t kill me. Yeah. There was a yeah. Someone put a bullet in Arthur Shapiro’s head. He was the lawyer of Victoria’s Secret billionaire Les Wexner.

Now I imagine that this is a coincidence. It happened many years ago, and people get shot in the head, and I’m sure this was a coincidence. And it was a Mafia-style slaying. It’s never been solved, and I’m sure they tried hard. And I think he was about to testify. Go see if we can get a little bit more info on this.

Arthur Shapiro was in trouble. The shy, secretive lawyer, a partner in the Columbus, Ohio law firm of Schwartz, Shapiro, Kelman, Warren, was under investigation by the IRS for failing to file income tax returns for seven years and for possible investments in shady tax shelters.

In March 1985, Shapiro was due to testify before a grand jury over his dodging and whether anyone had helped him hide the money. What he might reveal, no one knew, but he and his firm and several high-profile clients had a long history in Columbus.

But Arthur Shapiro never made it to the stand. A day before his scheduled testimony, somebody fired two bullets point blank into his head as he fled from a secretive breakfast meeting held in his red BMW at a Columbus cemetery. The mob-style murder has never been solved.

Shapiro reportedly personally oversaw the account for The Limited, the clothing company owned by billionaire Les Wexner, whose empire also included popular brands like Lane Bryant — which is the clothing store for, let’s say, fuller-figured ladies, where when I sometimes dress up like a Barry Weiss or a Meghan McCain or whatever, any of our ladies, I will head into Lane Bryant and still would like to, by the way. Shout out to Les and the whole fam — Express, and, of course, Victoria’s Secret. Neither Wexner nor his communications team declined to comment.

So, anyway, Les Wexner, who’s surrounded by an army of lawyers and accountants — minus this guy who took one to the head. And who knows why? Life’s random and weird. So this guy takes one to the head.

You can’t predict life. You cannot. That’s life. You think that’s what he thought when he got shot in the head? “That’s life.” You’re riding high in April, shot down in May. But sometimes you’re going to change your tune when you get shot in your face in June.

The Epstein-Wexner Relationship: A Web of Lies

Anyway, so Les Wexner is conned by Jeffrey Epstein — calls him up, or I guess gets to him some way, and goes, “Give me everything, and I’ll handle it.” And now Les Wexner’s going, “Now this guy’s a crook. And he preyed on people. I think that’s so wrong to prey on people.”

So our heart goes out to Les Wexner, by the way, who is a victim — Les Wexner, friend of the show, victim of Jeffrey Epstein, another victim. I think we’re going to find out that all of these billionaires are victims of Jeffrey Epstein. I think that’s the turn we’re about to make here.

There’s a lot of victims of Jeffrey Epstein. Not only these women, but I think a lot of these billionaires — and children, by the way. I think a lot of these billionaires were conned by Jeffrey Epstein into visiting this island or giving him power of attorney. He conned a lot of these people.

You gotta give it to somebody like Jeffrey Epstein. He’s just a smooth talker. There was no other reason those two would be in business. What other reason could you think of that a Les Wexner and a Jeffrey Epstein might find each other’s company enjoyable?

What other reason would one think? It’s not that they were engaged in illicit activities like money laundering or sex trafficking or weapons trafficking and narco trafficking. None of that is true. Let’s just rule that out immediately and imagine that it’s just Jeffrey Epstein’s got a great pitch. He cold called him. He called him cold.

“Would you like your money to work for you?”

“Well, yes, I would. Yes, I would.”

Now play the lawyer going, “I will f*ing kill you if you say one more thing.”

The Contempt They Have for You

Now, by the way, Yashar Ali, who I think occasionally listens to the show, is kind of an interesting — I don’t know. He’s a reporter of some kind. He makes these kinds of interesting points. Some of them are weird, and I don’t know if any — like, some of them are good, and some of them are like, nobody says that. Why are you saying it? But whatever. That’s the way I’m sure people feel about me.

So Yashar Ali was basically like, “Well, yeah, this is just something lawyers say,” which is probably true. Like, I’ve had a lot of traffic problems. My friend was never a human trafficker, but I, like, drove with a suspended license. And my lawyer would be like, “Just say the minimum. Just say the minimum.”

So now here’s Les Wexner talking about, I believe, Jeffrey Epstein working for the Rothschild family and Bill Gates, or Google — the heads of Google. So we’re going to play this for you. Here’s victim Leslie Wexner — victim, also a good friend of the show — but victim in Jeffrey Epstein’s tangled web of lies. Here’s Les Wexner, full victim in Jeffrey Epstein’s tangled web of lies.

And I feel for Les Wexner because he’s now dealing with the fact that his friend wasn’t who he thought. That’s the real — you gotta appreciate for a minute. You gotta just step back and think about how stupid they think you are. The contempt they have for you. The utter contempt they have for you as a human being — your intellectual ability, your gut instincts, your humanity. The contempt they have for you is funny. It is funny.

Maybe some of you listening to this are parents. Probably a lot of you are. And when your children or your teenagers lie to you — as long as they’re not lying about something crazy — but when they lie to you, when they’re late for their curfew and they lie to you, you kind of laugh because you go, “Oh, they think I wasn’t a kid. They don’t understand that I can see right through them. They’re not really good at this. They’re not pulling one over on us.” And you and your wife giggle about it.

That to me is what we’re watching now. It’s like we’re seeing some of the worst lies ever. Like, do you realize how much better the Iraq War was in terms of lies? And those lies were bad. These lies are so incredibly insane.

“Iran is going to blow up your cat.” “Iran’s going to blow up your favorite coffee shop.” “Iran’s taken out the diner where you get cheese fries after the—” The lies are so incredible. There’s zero effort going into the lies. This guy’s out here going, “I got conned by my best friend, by the guy I worked with for decades.”

The White House Position and the Epstein Files

TIM DILLON: I had no idea what he was up to. I had no idea. And the Trump administration’s going out and going, “Hey, everyone’s innocent in the thing that never happened that there’s millions of files on that are incredibly disturbing and heinous.” Also, there’s files we won’t release, and we won’t do any investigations into any of these allegations because they happened a long time ago, and what would we even really do?

And that’s the current White House position. Well, now you know. There’s no investigations. There’s been no accountability, and there’s nothing happening. So the White House goes, “You just wanted to know? So now you know. You feel better now?” That’s kind of their attitude. They’re like, “You feel better now? Yep. They’re all f*ing kids and killing them. You feel better? Now you know.”

Leslie Wexner and the Betrayal

So let’s go back to Leslie Wexner, who’s wrestling with this deep betrayal from Jeffrey Epstein. I mean, this is a real human drama here. Because this guy hired Jeffrey Epstein to just manage his money, gave him power of attorney, which, by the way, I don’t know if you know what power of attorney means, but it means that Jeffrey Epstein controls everything. In the event of Les Wexner being incapacitated or whatever, if he has a stroke, whatever happens, Epstein controls all of it.

Because maybe Epstein knows where the bodies are buried — metaphorically, I’m saying. Les Wexner has this incredibly close business relationship with this man, and I imagine a personal relationship as well. And this guy, Jeffrey Epstein, turns out to be a money laundering human trafficker. And Les Wexner is completely caught off guard, and he’s blown away by this.

Epstein has intelligence connections to the CIA and to the Mossad and probably other intelligence agencies. So he’s living in this weird world. He’s like a spook. He’s a money launderer. He’s connected to all these different powerful people, and he’s running a multifaceted operation that involves trafficking children, making large sums of money disappear, backchanneling with world leaders at the behest of current and former government employees, other world leaders, prime ministers, presidents.

Ghislaine Maxwell’s invited onto a 9/11 commission. All the files around 9/11 are blacked out. They haven’t released any of the files anywhere near 9/11 that involve Jeffrey Epstein. These Epstein files literally say there are certain files they don’t want out because of national security sources and methods. The argument is basically, “Well, if we put out these files, other countries will know how we get information, who our sources were, and the methods we used.”

Intelligence, Technology, and the “Sources and Methods” Lie

Now, mind you, we rely much less now on human intelligence. We rely a lot on satellite intelligence and tech and everything like that. That’s why Thiel and Palmer Luckey and all these guys are getting huge contracts with the government. The future of warfare and intelligence gathering — the future of all things — is very tech-centric. So the idea of the spy sitting in Morocco having coffee, that’s still a thing. There’s still human intelligence, but it’s a very interesting sell.

So these sources and methods that we used twenty, thirty years ago — a lot of them were compiled in these files, and they don’t want to let them out because then people would know how we gathered information. And it’s a big lie. “Sources and methods” is a lie. You can release stuff without exposing sources and methods. It’s a lie.

It’s just saying, “We don’t want to put it out because you’re going to start talking about what the hell 9/11 was.” Because no one even knows what it was, by the way.

What Really Happened on 9/11?

There’s a belief that Osama bin Laden, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Al-Qaeda — which was a group that ran weapons to a lot of dissident groups — had hatched this plot at a meeting in Kuala Lumpur, which was heavily surveilled by a lot of intelligence services. We should have known about this plot at some point.

Khalid al-Mihdhar and al-Hazmi and all these hijackers were allowed into America and were being surveilled, but the FBI never told the CIA because there was a wall between the two agencies, which did exist. But it does seem like an important piece of information. Some of these people were trained in American flight schools. Some were victims of mistaken identity. Turns out some of the hijackers we thought were hijackers weren’t exactly hijackers. No one knows why Building 7 fell. Nobody knows why there’s a tiny hole in the wall of the Pentagon.

And you have to just dance around with logic and go, “Well, technically, a plane could fly at that rate of speed, very low to the ground for a long time, not clip any light poles, not clip anything, have nobody really see it, then go into the Pentagon and go through four solid walls of steel and punch out a little hole.” And Building 7 — well, there were fires burning all day because of debris from the other falling buildings.

There are a lot of people who think something is wrong. Something is weird about it. But all of the Epstein files around 9/11 are blacked out.

Senator Bob Graham and the Saudi Connection

People tried to find more out about this. There was a senator — Senator Bob Graham from Florida — who was trying to find out more about 9/11, the Saudi connection, and dig deeper into it. He kept getting shut down and threatened by the FBI. They were like, “Hey, Bob. Bob, what are you doing?” He didn’t understand. He was like, “I’m just trying to get information here,” and they kept shutting him down. They would harass him, harass his family, stop him at the airport. They did all this stuff.

Back to Les Wexner

So there’s a lot in these files, and it’s f*ing weird. And anyone who says it’s not weird — I don’t know. It’s crazy.

So here’s Les Wexner again — victim of Jeffrey Epstein, caught in a tangled web of lies, faced with the fact that his best friend and business partner was some type of con artist, human trafficker, money launderer. Let’s see a little bit more of what he says here.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: Give you a long answer, but to understand — in context. Because if I just say yes or no, you won’t understand it.

LES WEXNER: I really want this whole group to understand it. I never would have guessed. I was being kind. Never ever. The deceit was so subtle.

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: It’s sad.

LES WEXNER: Yes. It’s sad.

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: We all appreciate the stories. We’re just trying to get an answer. Don’t tell too many stories. That’s very helpful. Thank you.

Could I ask you — I think you said in the last hour it was your understanding that Mr. Epstein, while he was working for you, also had other clients. Is that right?

LES WEXNER: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: So would that mean that his work for you, you understood it to be part time?

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: Think. Think. Think. Don’t say he’s full time. Don’t say he’s full time.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

LES WEXNER: I wouldn’t describe it that way. I thought it wasn’t full time. He had other clients.

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: As a listener, it sounds like — given the demands that you described — we all got caught. And of course, you are one of the wealthiest people in the country, managing all of your personal affairs. What does that mean? You can’t get conned?

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: Pause that. Just because I’m one of the wealthiest people in the country, I can’t have my friend let me down in a major way? My friend let me down in a major way. I am not allowed to be sad that my accountant got shot in the face randomly. I’m not allowed to be sad that my best friend turned out to be a human trafficker who was stealing money — just because I’m rich?

That, folks, is classism, and it’s wrong. Rich people bleed. Rich people hurt. Truly, it’s not right. I’m going to put my foot down here. I actually am.

The Abuse of a Billionaire

The abuse of this billionaire in front of us — making him have this realization in front of everyone that he’s been so taken advantage of by his best friend Jeffrey Epstein. This guy is so befuddled and hurt he doesn’t even know whether Epstein worked for him full time. He doesn’t think it was full time. He wouldn’t characterize it as that. But that’s how hurt this man is, because emotions are odd things.

I saw my parents get divorced, and of course it’s different because they shared a child. Well, I don’t think these men shared a child. They might have shared several. Here’s the thing — that’s comedy, folks.

But what I’m saying here — and it’s horrible, obviously, jail, killing, death, guillotine, whatever, when we find this stuff out — but not for him, because he strikes me as innocent. I could be a poor judge of character, but just his face here. He’s so — number one, he’s very forthcoming. I like how he’s going, “I want you to understand the answers, but my lawyer’s telling me not to answer the questions. So I have to answer them in five words or less, or yes or no, because this is a legal thing.”

He desperately wants to tell you more about this betrayal. Let’s hear a little bit more.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: Bandwidth sounds like that was an issue with the guy before Epstein. How was he able to do that job but also do work for other clients at the same time?

LES WEXNER: Like Peg does the work now. I think you could supervise the work. Overview it. Which isn’t the work that I do. You could do really thorough work if you were doing it three or four days a month, certainly a week, or a day a month, just focusing on these things, because there were accountants and tax lawyers and other people. And then, in setting up as an example, I wouldn’t — I didn’t have the idea to inventory furniture or —

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

TIM DILLON: By the way, the lawyer — stop it for a minute. The lawyer is looking at him and saying, “I’m telling you right now, stop talking.” The lawyer is like, “Les, you can’t talk, because the more you talk, the more obvious it’s going to be that you’re incredibly guilty here.”

Because on its face, the idea that this guy was just swindled by Jeffrey Epstein and has no idea what’s going on is completely insane. It’s completely insane.

The Diner Waitress vs. The Yale Graduate

And everyone with any IQ above twelve knows this. Okay? The dumbest people in the world know this. In fact, dumb people get this stuff actually sometimes better than smart people. Very interesting.

If you talk to someone who went to Yale about this case — and by the way, I’m not saying that working class people are dumb — if you go to a diner and talk to a diner waitress, I’m not saying she’s dumb, but the people that we’ve decided are smart versus the people that we… I’m sure that the people at Yale obviously have high IQ people. They’re really good at test taking, and their whole lives they’ve been bred for Yale. But if you went to a diner in Wisconsin and you told a diner waitress this story, she would be more correct than someone who went to Yale.

Because someone who went to Yale would be focusing usually on a lot of the wrong things, and somebody who went to Yale would have a very tough time with any of the elements of this that seemed conspiratorial. They’d have a real hard time. They’d go, “I just don’t think things work that way. I just don’t think it happens that way. I just don’t think it works that way. I just think that that’s a little convenient.”

And a diner waitress in Wisconsin would go, “Yeah. No. They’re in cahoots.” She’d go, “They’re in cahoots.” It’s obvious they’re in cahoots. That’s all she’d have to say, and she’d have cracked it. Because your gut instincts can be destroyed sometimes by an overly cerebral approach to things. You might feel a certain way, but when you’re analyzing it, you might be considering all of these different options and then giving weight in your head to options that you know in your gut are either less likely to be true or are not true.

So when I’ve talked about this stuff with people, the people on the upper echelon of society that have gone to these schools and have been in the circles of supposedly the smart set, the chattering class, the people that are intelligent — they’re looking at this in a cerebral way going, “Well, it’s actually not the thing that’s right in front of your face. It could be ten things.” They don’t discount that it could be the thing that’s right in front of your face, but they go, “But it also could be those other nine things.” And you go, “Could it? Maybe.” Let’s watch the rest of this.

The Great Silverware Heist

TIM DILLON: Les Wexner. Silverware in your house and what? They didn’t count forks and spoons. People could be walking out with forks and spoons. Right. Now stop that.

Stop that. Folks. Folks. Folks. Folks. Folks, the CEO of Victoria’s Secret — Les Wexner — just said that Jeffrey Epstein was telling him to inventory furniture and forks and spoons because people might be leaving Les Wexner’s house with forks and spoons. He just said this. He just said this.

He said, “You know, Jeffrey was…” I want you to play this again, go back a few seconds. This is something that’s truly remarkable. I want you to hear this again. This is the CEO of Victoria’s Secret claiming that Epstein, who he hired to manage all of his money, had alerted him to the danger that if you didn’t inventory forks and spoons — because Les Wexner said, “I don’t count forks.” By the way, neither do I. Les, we have something in common. It’s your boy. We have something in common because I’ve never counted forks, and you could come to my house and steal forks, and I would never know. Just putting it out there, thieves.

I want you to hear this again because at first glance, it seems insane. But think about it — it makes a lot of sense. A guy like Les Wexner has to protect himself from fork theft. Understand? So that’s where Jeffrey Epstein came in. Even his lawyer’s looking at him like, “Well, this is an odd example.” Even his lawyer’s like, “This is why we have to keep it to five words or less,” because now we’re talking about forks and knives and spoons.

Les Wexner on what Jeffrey Epstein did for him. Let’s go.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

LES WEXNER: How could you have silverware in your house and not count forks and spoons? Jeff said people could be walking out with forks and spoons. “Gee, that’s a good idea. We ought to have an inventory.” Then there was a — I hired a lady to be like the house manager who had run the US embassy in Rome and said, “Yeah, I know how to do this.” I said —

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. I have a house manager. This guy just said he hired a house manager who ran the US embassy in Rome? What is going on in your house?

My house manager is from Queens. She screams at me, and we fight about tile. She buys lamps I don’t like, and I make her take them back. We have a party every summer in the Hamptons, and we get in fights with local caterers, and we hire a Carvel truck to come. This man — who does have a nicer home than me, for sure — this guy just said he hired a house manager who managed the US embassy in Rome. I feel that she might be overqualified.

But again, I do appreciate him being honest, because I feel that that really is what we need more of in this story. We need more honesty. And when a man like that is swindled, it’s very simple — hire Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein’s like, “We have to start inventorying the furniture, the knives and forks. People could be stealing your silverware.” Les Wexner’s like, “Well, that’s a good thought. I’d never thought of that. Here’s all of my money. Let me give you power of attorney over literally all of my assets, because you came up with this brilliant idea.” I’d never thought that billionaires face that kind of silverware threat, but they do.

But do you see why the lawyer’s like, “You can’t say anything that’s more than five words”? The lawyer knows how crazy the lies are. Les Wexner hasn’t had to lie in a long time. His lies are crazy. He said, “Well, Jeff said, ‘How many spoons do you have? I don’t know how many spoons I have. People are walking out with spoons — and these are silver spoons. They’re heavy. When you put them on the teacup, you hear the clink. This is real silver.’ And Jeff came to me and said, ‘What about the forks, Les? What about the forks?’ And I went, ‘Right. Right.’ And he said, ‘Why don’t you hire the woman who ran the US embassy in Rome to manage the silverware?’ And I said, ‘This is a great idea. For this tip, I’m going to give you all of my money.'”

And then he purchased for Jeffrey Epstein the largest private residence in Manhattan. And you know why? Because forks cost a lot of f*ing money, and Jeff saved him money in forks and spoons. Jeff saved him a lot of forks and spoons.

Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, and the Tough Decisions

Before we leave — it’s been a very fun episode, and I’m sorry it’s late — but before we leave, we have to get to my other new best friend. Not my new friend who I love, but my other new best friend is my Indian friend, Kash Patel. And I love Kash Patel, number one, because of his character, but number two, because of his commitment to justice.

Dan Bongino and Kash Patel — this is from the great Shadows of Ezra account. Kash Patel and Dan Bongino have decided to do a podcast together, because Dan Bongino left the FBI and is now doing a podcast again. And Kash Patel is back on his podcast. Here we go. Let’s just let it speak for itself. I don’t know if you can even set this up. Dan Bongino, Kash Patel, friends of the show, here describing how difficult it is to cover up a pedophile ring. Let’s go.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

DAN BONGINO: Everything’s a level ten decision, Kash. A level ten meaning there’s a — pardon the language — but a shy decision and a shier one. Because if there was a good decision to be made, someone else made it. And those decisions — that’s every day. I know you know this because I would knock on your door, you’d be like, “What now?” And I’d be like, “Here we go again.” Something else would come up. But I just want to put into perspective for folks out there — when that decision can’t even be made by me, it goes to you. When it doesn’t go to you, it goes to the president’s desk. He’s dealing with level eleven decisions, and that’s the thing in DC. That’s why the batting average isn’t always going to be a thousand. There’s no good call to be made, or someone else would have made it. There’s just really tough decisions where there’s a shy call and a shier call. And listen, that’s what we signed up for. That’s how it rolls.

KASH PATEL: Yeah. These are difficult decisions, Dan. That’s why you volunteered to jump back in. It wasn’t just going to be, “Hey, we’re going to do this job. It’s going to be super easy. We’re not going to have to make any hard decisions, and we’re not going to have to combat a press corps that has largely been biased and full of inaccurate reporting.” But we made those decisions collectively in the best interest of the nation. And if we hadn’t, then none of this would be true. None of this would be possible.

If President Trump had made the hard decisions to allow us and give us the resources that we need, and to back the blue in law enforcement, and to prioritize working with state and local authorities, then we wouldn’t be able to do what we did. But you’re right. We had a lot of hard decisions, and that comes with the territory of the job. But once you look outside of the cauldron of Washington DC — and this is one of the things that I’m trying to remind myself of every day — outside of here, there is a different America than the one that lives in the national capital region. And I try to remind myself every day, when making those difficult decisions that you talked about, that we make on a daily basis —

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

Stop it for a minute. What the f are these people talking about? What in God’s name are these two people talking about? Can anyone even venture a guess at this point? They make Les Wexner look like an open book. What are these two ghouls talking about? What in the f are they talking about? Resources, decisions, outside of DC — there are people that live outside of DC. Yeah, that’s what he learned. After running the FBI for a year, he learned that people live outside of Virginia? This is what he learned? Did he learn that there’s a population outside of the District of Columbia? That’s all he learned.

I mean, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. “I realized that there were people that live outside of the capital city.” Yeah. Actually, this is going to shock him — most people live outside of DC, and they also hate him. Does he think he’s beloved when he gets out of DC? Does this guy think the problem is geography? Does he think when he leaves DC, people think this has gone well? Does he think the problem is a ZIP code issue? Does he think confidence in his leadership builds once he’s outside of the beltway? What are these people speaking of?

Closing Thoughts

TimDillonComedy.com. We have shows on sale in Long Island and Jersey. Three shows sold out at the Paramount. I believe Closer sold out. There are some tickets left. Mother’s Day weekend — bring your mothers out. Long Island women really deserve a break. They work so damn hard. They work so damn hard drinking and complaining. Also, a couple of shows in Jersey — Atlantic City and Bergen, or something. Maybe we’re going to announce some shows for South by Southwest too. It might be fun to go down to Austin, Texas — greatest city in the country, actually. Why not spend a weekend there in Austin? Spend a night or two. Nothing crazy.

We always appreciate the listening. We’re sorry it’s late. I think it’s worth it. And let’s all really remember — let’s take a lesson from Les Wexner. Our friends may let us down. They may let us down.

And I would just like to thank you, as an audience, for giving me the resources to make the tough decisions. Every decision we make here on the Tim Dillon Show is a nine, and some of them are an eleven. Some of them are nine eleven. Redacted. We don’t know. Three months. No emails. But I just want to let you know that you give me the authority to make the hard decisions, and you give me the resources. Because if I didn’t have the resources to make the decisions, then someone might be walking out of my house with forks.

Good night.

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