Full transcript of author, speaker Alistair Horscroft’s TEDx Talk: 7 Seconds To Change Your Life at TEDxNoosa 2014 Conference.
Listen to the MP3 Audio here: 7 seconds to change your life by Alistair Horscroft at TEDxNoosa 2014
Alistair Horscroft – Author & Speaker
OK, I think it’s fair to say that some people find it hard to make the positive changes that they want in their life, regardless of race, creed, color, social economic status.
I’ve worked with military veterans and their posttraumatic stress, trying to conquer the traumatic thoughts and the associated feelings that run through their body. The anxiety sufferer who is so consumed by worry that they haven’t left the house for days or perhaps weeks on end. Or maybe just the smoker who wants to break the habit, so he can live longer and spend more time with their loved ones, the person who wants to make a simple dietary changes, stop eating a food that’s causing problems and start eating healthfully. Or maybe the CEO or the business person who wants to get up on stage and public speak so that they can rise up the ladder. All these things, all these things are affecting so many people.
And so today I am going to talk about how we can create a space that allows these changes to occur more easily. But I’m sure some of you, and I don’t know who the guilty parties are, might think that when it comes to change, perhaps it’s easier than you think. And it always reminds me of this comedy skit by Mad TV and you can see it on YouTube, it’s very very funny and it goes something like this. You had this lady who’s suffering from this absolutely terrible claustrophobia. Very very concerned about being buried alive in a box was her specific issue. And she walks in to see the psychiatrist and then he listens very very intently to what she has to say. And she goes on and on about how this is affecting her life. And after she’s kind of finished her diatribe he says, ‘Well, I’m going to give you two words and I would like you to take these two words into your life and notice how they change things.’ And so she’s there very very patiently, and she says, ‘Shall I write them down?’
He goes, ‘No, no, I think it would be OK. It’s just two words.’
And there she goes, ‘Waiting, waiting.’
He goes, ‘Just stop it. Yes, stop it.’
It’s very funny, very very funny. And of course I’m sure some of us when we see our friends or loved ones or even people with, you know, rather manage disorders sometimes you’re just thinking, ‘Why don’t you just stop it?’ Great, just stop it. And sometimes we can. It is true but a lot of the time people can’t.
Sometimes I often hear people say, ‘Well, when you want to change you just need to believe in yourself.’ We hear this a lot, you know these days, ‘just believe in yourself, you just believe in yourself, anything can happen.’ But it always reminds me of the late great comedian Bill Hicks and his observations on people who took hallucinogenic drugs. And as a result of taking the hallucinogenic drugs, they believed that they could fly. In fact, such was their belief that they went to the top of very high buildings and jumped off, I think we call that a faithful belief.
But the thing that Bill did, it was very funny. He goes, ‘Well, look, surely surely surely, if you really believe that you could fly, you would try taking off in the ground first’. Yes, after all you don’t see 20 geese going up into the elevator to the top of a building to take off. They know, they know, they know. So belief is a funny thing. Most of the time a belief requires evidence for it to make any change.
Now when it comes to what do I do — we need to find out that stopping it or telling people just to stop it doesn’t really work. And also, telling people they need to believe in themselves doesn’t really work. And I found this out very very subtly when I did a project in Sydney. I did a project with Taronga Zoo in Sydney and I ran a program called Fearless at Taronga for seven years and for six and a half years we had a hundred percent success rate in helping people overcome their animal phobias. The first six months were wobbly but those six and a half years they were really solid and we helped people eliminate and take control of severe phobias, normally around spiders, snakes, those kind of things. And if anything was, these people would come in and they were so desperately frightened, so desperately kind of out of control with their phobia that we had to kind of find a way of relaxing them.
And so what we did is when they came in, we would offer them ways of winning cash — two ways of winning cash, which is a bit peculiar on a phobia course, I’m sure. And the first way that you could win cash was the person who could present the most extraordinary phobic reaction. Now bearing in mind we’ve had people faint, passed out, be sick, sprint hysterically out of the room, you really had to work hard to win that cash prize.
And the second cash prize that people could win was the person with the best origin story for their phobia. And that title was held for four years by a lady who believed that spiders had hunted her down through seven lifetimes with the sole purpose of making her life a total misery. So you can see that when you have people like this, just telling them to stop it and get them to believe in themselves doesn’t really kind of cut the mustard, you know.