Are You Ready for a Relationship? (Biblical Manhood Part 2): Paul Washer (Transcript)

Full text of Paul Washer’s sermon titled ‘Are You Ready for a Relationship?’ – Biblical Manhood Part 2

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Paul Washer – Founder of HeartCry Missionary Society

We’re going to be taking a look at now something that ought to be a great concern for you. It ought to be something that also is something that brings you joy, the prospect of it, and that is marriage, and dealing with the opposite sex.

Now, we all are aware that there are some men and women like the Apostle Paul that have the gift of celibacy. And how do you know that you have that? Well, I believe that the Lord basically takes away at least most of your desire to have a relationship with the opposite sex or at least gives you the strength to overcome those desires and to live at peace with them. I have not known many people with that gift. And I would dare say that probably most of you here do not have that gift.

A lot of young men think that it’s more spiritual. Well, it can be spiritual or unspiritual because whether you have the gift of celibacy or you don’t doesn’t make you spiritual. What makes you spiritual is being in the center of God’s will for your own life.

And I can tell you this, that although there is still much in me that needs to change, I know that apart from marriage and children, I would not be the man that I am today. And I consider my marriage and then my children to be one of the greatest privileges that God has ever given me.

Now, we live in a culture that really does not think very highly of marriage. We live in a culture that does not think very highly of children. We kill babies every day. That’s our culture. A culture of death. And even those who are married, most Americans, I think it’s something like 1.3, 1.4 children that they want to have. Many cite this reason: economic reasons.

Look, we’re the wealthiest country in the world or at least close. And so we can’t have children. So it kind of demonstrates to us that we’re also a very selfish generation. Very selfish people.

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And so what we’re going to talk about now is the heresy of recreational dating. Now I don’t know if you’ve heard the terminology. Most people use the terminology dating. Some people use the terminology courtship, which they’re trying to live out a more biblical way of meeting a mate. But it really doesn’t bother me if you use the word dating, although I prefer courtship.

But what I am against, and what the Bible is against, is what we know as recreational dating. Now what is that? If a young man came to me and said, you know, wow, I’m going out on a date with Suzie tonight. My next question would be, well, when did God begin to show you possibly that Suzie was the girl, that it was your time to start thinking about marriage and that when did God begin to show you that Suzie’s the girl that you think you ought to marry?

And the person says, what? What are you talking about? I’m not talking about marriage. I’m just going out on a date. That’s recreational dating. And it is a manifestation of our ungodliness, our selfishness. Now all of us have done it, because again, our people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.

You say, why are you going out with her? You have no intention to marry her. Well, let me suggest this, that you want to receive from her and from that relationship something that is only supposed to be given you within the context of marriage. But you want that without the commitment. You just want to have a good time with someone of the opposite sex. And that is selfish. And it’s dangerous. And it’s not manly. It’s not who we’re supposed to be as men in Christ.

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