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Home » Birds Aren’t Real? How a Conspiracy Takes Flight: Peter McIndoe (Transcript)

Birds Aren’t Real? How a Conspiracy Takes Flight: Peter McIndoe (Transcript)

Here is the full transcript of Peter McIndoe’s talk titled “Birds Aren’t Real? How a Conspiracy Takes Flight” at TED conference.

In this TEDx talk, Peter McIndoe delves into his experience portraying a conspiracy theorist, a character that he found easy to embody due to his background. Throughout his time in character, he engaged with numerous individuals who believed he genuinely subscribed to the bizarre theory that birds are government surveillance drones.

McIndoe’s interactions with the public, often marked by ridicule and judgment, led him to feel the emotions of his character rather than amusement at the satire. These encounters gave him a new perspective on how society treats individuals with unconventional beliefs, particularly conspiracy theorists. He suggests that treating conspiracy theorists with disdain only pushes them further away from shared reality, emphasizing the need for empathy and understanding.

McIndoe argues that addressing the human need for belonging and identity might be more effective in bridging the gap with those holding fringe beliefs. He concludes by highlighting the importance of addressing the crisis of belonging to understand and possibly resolve the crisis of belief.

Listen to the audio version here:

TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, I’m Peter. Six years ago, I received information that changed the course of the rest of my life. From 1969 through 2001, the US government murdered over 12 billion birds in the American skies. They did this using poisonous toxins dropped from airplanes that were contagious and murdered all of the birds over the course of about 40 years.

Now, I know this is not the public understanding of this and may sound absurd, but please just bear with me, keep an open mind, and just be respectful, please, as I share this information with you. I know a lot of you may be wondering why would the government kill 12 billion birds? It seems like an awful lot of trouble for a government to go through. The reason is as devastating as it is simple.

The Government’s Secret Agenda

For each bird the government killed, they replaced it with a surveillance drone replica in disguise, designed to spy on the American people. Now, some may say, if you’re the government, at least, that this is a worthy sacrifice, these 12 billion lives, for the safety of the people, right? I don’t know about that, it seems like a pretty serious limit on our freedom, wouldn’t you agree? The proof that birds are robots is all around us, if you start looking.

For starters, birds charge their batteries on power lines. So they can refuel up high and they can watch the civilians, you know. They also track civilians using a liquid tracking device. You ever wonder why birds poop on your car? Do you need more evidence?

The Mystery of Baby Pigeons

Really, I can go all day up here. Who here has seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? It’s weird. There’s all these adult pigeons; where are all the babies? They come out of the factory as adults, so there’s no organic growth, you know. It’s a smoking gun.

Over the years, as I began putting this information together, I began realizing the extent of all this. And there were times I wished I never even learned this. My life would be so much easier. You know, I remember before I knew this information, I was happier, my steps were lighter, you know. But I always come back to this.

It is my moral obligation as one of the few privileged enough to know this, to share it with you, the blind sheep, you know. And that’s what I’ve been doing for years now. I’m a part of a movement called Birds Aren’t Real. And in 2021, I was promoted to public information officer for the movement. It’s the honor of my life.

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The Mission

I had one job. My one job was to deprogram the public from the bird lie. And deprogram is a very specific word because you all are programmed. You know that, right? We live in a pro-bird civilization drenched in propaganda. For instance, every state has a state bird, the national mascot is a bald eagle, presidents don’t talk, they tweet, then the tweets are covered on the bird-logo media.

Once I knew this, my first order of business was to get the information out to the American people, get off the internet into the real world. So that’s what I did. I bought a van, covered it in decals with facts. I wanted to turn the highway into an information highway, awaken the people. I went city to city, holding rallies, meeting up with our thousands of supporters, growing by the day. And I was putting up billboards wherever we went, sharing our simple but powerful message. Look how beautiful it is.

Confrontation and Persistence

Now, the government did take note of what we were doing, and they sent some intimidators to try and deter us from our mission. But we did not fold. We kept on going. We started holding rallies at some of the most evil pro-bird corporations in the world, starting with Twitter, where we brought hundreds out to protest their pro-bird logo.

Months later, we brought 500 people out to CNN headquarters to demand fairer coverage for bird truthers on air. Then just last year, we brought 2,000 people out to Washington Square in New York City to demand that the mayor shut down every pigeon in the city. Here’s what that looked like: (crowds shouting) “Birds aren’t real! Birds aren’t real!” I can’t even tell you how that felt.

The Climax of the Movement

I took that video standing on the top of the van, megaphone in hand, knowing we were awakening a country that needs it so badly. I can’t think of anything more beautiful.

OK, let me start this talk over. I do not actually believe that birds are robots. And everyone else in this picture is also in on the bit. This is a character that I played for four years.