How To Start Spending, Saving, And Giving Better: David Delisle (Transcript)

Read the full transcript of entrepreneur and author David Delisle’s talk titled “How To Start Spending, Saving, And Giving Better”, at TEDxVictoria, December 2, 2025.

A Story About My Dad

DAVID DELISLE: Let me tell you a story about my dad. He was this kind of guy who just had this charisma that would fill a room. People loved him, envied him. He was the one with the bigger house, the coolest friends, and the biggest parties. He had a Harley, always going on some crazy adventure. I remember this one time he told me he really wanted to go to the Congo just because he wanted to see a gorilla in the wild. I mean, that’s never going to happen. He was this guy who just seemed to have it all.

But I saw a different side. I saw the guy who was never there. He missed every hockey game I ever played. I remember this one game in particular. He promised me he was going to be there. So I remember being on the ice and scanning the stands looking for him. I found out later he went out with his friends instead. My mom left him. His brother stopped calling. And my brother completely cut him off. He didn’t even know he got married. And he never met my boys. He died alone on a boat at 54.

He had everything or taught to chase. The money, the stuff, the freedom. And still, it was never enough. Because he believed something many of us still believe: that if only I had a little more, I’d finally be happy.

Believing the Lie

And I believed it as well. I remember buying my dream home and walking in that front door and feeling like I finally made it. And then one day, just looking on this beautiful backyard, had a sunken garden and a gazebo. And I realized I couldn’t hear my boys anymore. Because they’re so far away. What if I believed a lie? And what if more would never make me happy?

And that’s why I’ve spent almost my entire life learning about money. And why I teach kids about money today. Not just to have more, but why even want more in the first place? Because I saw what happens when someone chases more and loses everything that matters. And I don’t want that for anyone else. Not for my kids and not for yours.

The Awesome Stuff Experience

And what if all it took to change that story was just one conversation, $20 and a pause? I call it the awesome stuff experience. And I remember doing this for the first time with my boys, Will and Noah, on this trip to Disneyland. I simply gave them $20. I said, this is your money. You can do whatever you want with it. But before we go into the park, I want you to consider doing just three things.

First, pause to ask the question, is this my awesome stuff? And the awesome stuff, I love this. This is the stuff that matters most. Not to anyone else, but to you. And of course, my boys just laugh. “Whatever, Dad, we know what matters. We know what matters most.” And that’s what’s so cool with awesome stuff. We do know what matters most. We do until we pause.

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The Pause Exercise

So I asked Will and Noah to close their eyes. And I want you to do this as well. Just close your eyes. Let’s take a moment to pause and hold out your left hand and think about something you really want to buy right now. And maybe it’s a new phone or a pair of shoes or maybe something even bigger like that dream kitchen or a new car. Whatever it is, hold that thing in your left hand. That’s your awesome stuff right now.

Okay, keep your eyes closed. I saw some of you in the front peeking. Keep them closed. This is where it gets fun. Keep your eyes closed and hold out your right hand. And let’s see if we can think of something else. And maybe it’s not a thing at all. Maybe it’s a moment. Like laughing, just laughing so hard. It hurts and you still can’t stop. Who’s there laughing with you? Or maybe it’s being there. Really being there when someone you love needs you the most.

No words, just presence, so they don’t have to feel alone. Or maybe it’s staying up all night to watch the sunrise with someone that means everything to you. Feeling a connection deeper than anything you’ve felt before. Whatever it is, hold that thing in your right hand. And now you can open your eyes and look down at what you’re holding in each hand. Which would you choose? And it doesn’t matter what you choose. Sometimes it’s going to be what you started with in the left hand. But sometimes, sometimes it’s not. And the thing you just wanted a moment ago just doesn’t matter as much anymore. Feel that. That’s the shift. That’s the magic. And it all begins with that pause.

So I said to Will and Noah, before you buy anything, pause and ask the one question that changes everything. “Is this my awesome stuff?”

Save For Freedom

And second, save for freedom. It drives me crazy when we teach our kids to save and then immediately say to them, “What do you plan to buy?” Assuming they must be wanting to buy something bigger, more expensive. That’s not saving. That’s still spending. Just with a little more suspense. But we do the exact opposite. Don’t spend your money. Don’t waste it. Don’t buy anything. Save out of fear. But that fear never brings joy.

So I asked Will and Noah to think back when their eyes were closed. What did they choose? What did you choose? And how much is that worth to you? Is it worth a small sacrifice today so you can have the freedom to choose it tomorrow?

Because that’s what saving is. Letting your money grow and work for you so you have more freedom.

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So I asked Will and Noah to consider saving 20% of the money I just gave them. Not because they had to, just because that’s the first step to creating the freedom to say yes to what really matters. And of course, they were skeptical and I know some of you might be as well. They’re like, “I don’t want to save 20%,” and I get it. But imagine if you’d save 20% of everything you ever received or even 10 or 5%. How much more freedom would you have today? And don’t worry if you didn’t start saving yesterday, you can still start today.

Give Because You Can

And third, give because you can. We’ll say things like, “Be grateful that you have more,” or “Give to the less fortunate.” And just those words alone can create this sense of hierarchy. One person better than another. What if instead of giving because we had more, we simply gave because we could? Because giving is the awesome stuff.

I asked Will and Noah to think back to those moments when they had their eyes closed and notice how often the things that matter most, they’re not the things we keep, they’re the ones we share. So I said to them, “Today, just look for one opportunity to make a stranger smile.” That’s it.

The Disney Test

And then we went into the park. And for anyone who’s been to Disneyland before, you know exactly what it’s like. Pure mayhem. There’s kids screaming and parents yelling and there’s just noise and crowds and just stuff to buy everywhere.

Will quickly saw this toy plane he wanted to buy, this overpriced, you know, Disney plane. I watched him grab it off the shelf. But then I watched. And he looked at the plane and he paused. And I could see him asking himself, “Is this my awesome stuff?” And then he bought the plane.

I was so disappointed. But it doesn’t matter that he bought the plane. I mean, some of the things I spend money on, you’d also think it’s just ridiculous. These blue glasses. I’m not even going to tell you how much they cost or how many pairs of my own. It doesn’t matter that he picked the plane. What matters is that he paused. And he didn’t buy out of impulse. He bought out of awareness. The goal isn’t to choose less. That’s what we’ve been taught in the past.

This is about choosing what matters more. And that opportunity to make a stranger smile. This was one of my proudest dad moments. So when we went into the park, it was Mickey and Minnie Mouse’s birthday. So everybody got this free collector’s pin. And my boys love this kind of stuff. And then later in the day, we’re in line for one of the rides. And Will overheard this older lady talking to one of the cast members about the pin. She didn’t get a pin. They must have run out. And I watched William run over to this lady and give her his pin.

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You should have seen the way she looked at him. It was like for the first time she’s finally seen. And I saw a glimpse of a man Will’s becoming.

A System for Everyday Life

The Awesome Stuff Experience is a system. It’s not something just to do on a trip to Disneyland. This is something you can do every day to completely rewrite everything we’ve been taught about spending, saving, and giving. Instead of saying no to something we really want, realizing we didn’t want it in the first place. Instead of saving for more stuff, saving so our money works and grows for us and provides more freedom. And instead of giving because we have more, giving simply because we can.

My dad passed down one money story. I want to pass down another. Imagine a world where every child learned to seek meaning, not more. We can create that world together.

The Simple Question That Changes Everything

So the next time a child asks you to buy them something, or you’re about to buy something yourself, pause and ask, “Is this my awesome stuff?” And I know, I know it sounds so simple. And it is. That’s the point. This doesn’t have to be hard.

After spending almost my entire life learning about money, I’ve realized there’s only three things you really need to know. What matters most? It’s really things. It’s the people, connection, meaning. The simplest path to freedom is to always save first. And we don’t have to wait until we have more before we give. We can give today and it doesn’t have to cost a thing.

It’s time for a new way to teach financial literacy. A better way. One where we’re not lost in an endless chase for more. And it really can be as simple as a pause and one question. To rewrite how we live more joy, more connection, more generosity, and more freedom.

Because that, that’s the awesome stuff.

Thank you.