Home » How to Teach Kids to Talk About Taboo Topics: Liz Kleinrock (Transcript)

How to Teach Kids to Talk About Taboo Topics: Liz Kleinrock (Transcript)

In this talk, Liz Kleinrock discusses how she teaches kids to discuss taboo topics without fear — because the best way to start solving social problems is to talk about them.

Liz Kleinrock – TED Talk TRANSCRIPT

So, a few years ago, I was beginning a new unit on race with my fourth-graders.

And whenever we start a new unit, I like to begin by having all the students list everything they know about it, and then we also list questions we have.

And I had the type of moment that every teacher has nightmares about. One of my students had just asked the question, “Why are some people racist?”

And another student, let’s call her Abby, had just raised her hand and volunteered: “Maybe some people don’t like black people because their skin is the color of poop.” Yeah, I know.

So, as if on cue, my entire class exploded. Half of them immediately started laughing, and the other half started yelling at Abby and shouting things like, “Oh, my God, you can’t say that, that’s racist!”

So just take a second to freeze this scene in your mind.

There’s a class of nine- and ten-year-olds, and half of them are in hysterics because they think Abby has said something wildly funny, and the other half are yelling at her for saying something offensive.

And then you have Abby, sitting there completely bewildered because, in her mind, she doesn’t understand the weight of what she said and why everybody is reacting this way.

And then you have me, the teacher, standing there in the corner, like, about to have a panic attack.

So as a classroom teacher, I have to make split-second decisions all the time. And I knew I needed to react, but how? Consider your fight-or-flight instincts.

I could fight by raising my voice and reprimanding her for her words. Or flight — just change the subject and quickly start reaching for another subject, like anything to get my students’ minds off the word “poop.”

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However, as we know, the right thing to do is often not the easy thing to do. And as much as I wanted this moment to be over, and that I knew both of these options would help me escape the situation, I knew that this was far too important of a teachable moment to miss.

So after standing there for what felt like an eternity, I unfroze and I turned to face my class, and I said, “Actually, Abby makes a point.”

And my students kind of looked at each other, all confused.

And I continued, “One reason why racism exists is because people with light skin have looked at people with dark skin and said that their skin was ugly. And even use this reason as an excuse to dehumanize them.

And the reason why we’re learning about race and racism in the first place is to educate ourselves to know better. And to understand why comments like this are hurtful, and to make sure that people with dark skin are always treated with respect and kindness.”

Now, this was a truly terrifying teachable moment. But as we moved forward in the conversation, I noticed that both Abby and the rest of the kids were still willing to engage.

And as I watched the conversation really marinate with my students, I began to wonder how many of my students have assumptions just like Abby.

And what happens when those assumptions go unnoticed and unaddressed, as they so often do? But first, I think it’s important to take a step back and even consider what makes a topic taboo.

I don’t remember receiving an official list of things you’re not supposed to talk about. But I do remember hearing, over and over, growing up: there are two things you do not talk about at family get-togethers.

And those two things are religion and politics.

And I always thought this was very curious because religion and politics often are such huge influencing factors over so many of our identities and beliefs. But what makes a topic taboo is that feeling of discomfort that arises when these things come up in conversation.

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But some people are extremely fluent in the language of equity, while other people fear being PC-shamed or that their ignorance will show as soon as they open their mouths.

But I believe that the first step towards holding conversations about things like equity is to begin by building a common language. And that actually starts with destigmatizing topics that are typically deemed taboo.

Now, conversations around race, for example, have their own specific language and students need to be fluent in this language in order to have these conversations.

Now, schools are often the only place where students can feel free and comfortable to ask questions and make mistakes. But, unfortunately, not all students feel that sense of security.

Now, I knew that day in front of my fourth-graders that how I chose to respond could actually have life-long implications not only for Abby, but for the rest of the students in my class.

If I had brushed her words aside, the rest of the class could actually infer that this type of comment is acceptable. But if I had yelled at Abby and embarrassed her in front of all of her friends, that feeling of shame associated with one of her first conversations on race could actually prevent her from ever engaging on that topic again.

Now, teaching kids about equity in schools is not teaching them what to think. It is about giving them the tools and strategies and language and opportunities to practice how to think.

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