Here is the full transcript of TD Jakes’ speech on 3 Types of Friends: Be careful who you tell your dream.
TD Jakes – Pastor, author and filmmaker.
To be covered by God and walk in the area of your destiny, you can’t be limited to just working with people who look like you. Watch out for the character.
I’m going to tell you that there are three basic types of people that you will interact with, if you are a child of destiny, or can I share this with you?
The first group are Confidants. Confidants — you’ll have very few of them. Confidants are those people in your life who love you unconditionally. They are into you, whether you’re up or down, right or wrong, they are into you. They are in for the long haul. If you get in trouble, they get in trouble with you. They’ll come see you in the jailhouse. They’ll come get you out the crack house. They’re confidants. You can open up and share anything with them.
You’ll never inherit your kingdom until you find your confidant. You can’t be David till you find your Jonathan. Having a good confidant is the key that unlocks the kingdom, because you were raised outside the gate and God’s going to cause you to reach over the wall. You got to have a confidant behind the wall who can mentor you for what God is going to do next in your life.
The problem with most people is that everybody they run around with is under them. And so you are forever feeding people who can’t feed you. And after years of feeding them, they begin to drain you. You’ve got to have somebody who can feed you, so you can feed somebody else. Am I talking to anybody in here?
You need the confidant. Then the confidant is those few people that come along in your life that are for you, they are with you. They are intimately intertwined in your life. They are there to make sure that you reach for destiny. They will confront you, they will get in your face. They will get in your business. They will tell you when you’re wrong because they are confidants. If you have two or three of them in a lifetime, you are a blessed person. Without them you’ll never be who God called you to be. You need to find your confidant.
Number 2: the other group are your Constituents. They are not into you; they are into what you are for. They are for what you are for; they are your constituents. And as long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you and work with you and labor with you but never think that they are for you. They are for what you are for, and you have to know that, because if they meet somebody else that will further their agenda, they will leave you and hook up with them, because they were never for you, they were just for what you were for; they are your constituents. And throughout your life if you’re not careful, particularly if you’re broken, you will mistake your constituents for your confidants. And you will think that they are for you when they are really not for you; they are just for what you are for. And by the time you get to falling in love with them, they will break your heart as they hook up with somebody else who is for what you are for, because it was never about you anyway. It was about the causes that you represent. They are for what you are for but they are not for you. They are your constituents.
Can I go deeper with this?
The third group are your Comrades. These people are not for you, nor are they for what you are for. It is just that they are against what you are against. And the comrades will make strange bedfellows. This will cause people to come together who are not for you and they are not for what you are for, but they are against what you are against. And they will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. But don’t be confused by their associations. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished. These people are like scaffolding. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose and when the purpose is complete the scaffolding is removed. But don’t be upset when they are removed, because the building always remains when the scaffolding is removed.
What I’m saying to you my brothers and sister, expect the constituents and the comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Don’t be upset when they don’t react to your dream the way you expected them to, because they were never really with you in the first place.
Be careful then who you tell your dream to, because if you tell your dream to your constituents, they will desert you and try to fulfill the dream without you. If you tell it to your comrades, they won’t support it because they never were for what you were for anyway.
If you find a few people in your entire life with whom you can share your dream with, you are a blessed somebody.
I can tell you how to identify people who are really for you. If they are really for you, they will weep with you when you weep and they will rejoice when you rejoice. When you walk in a room and you tell somebody good news, stop being happy for a minute and watch their reaction. If they’re not happy for you, shut your mouth and walk back out of the door, because when they are really connected to you, they will be happy for you when you share your dream. Find somebody, look in the eye and say are you happy for me? If you don’t get the right reaction, don’t tell them anything else.
You need somebody who’s really going to be happy for you. And God is so faithful. He’ll always give you some bad day. Oh, if you’ve ever seen anybody into your life to help you, you ought to just clap your hand and thank you for the people He sent. Don’t worry about the people He took, you are praying for the people, He will send somebody.