Full transcript of multi-millionaire entrepreneur Dan Lok’s TEDx talk: The Invisible Force – Self-Image – Enables You To Achieve Great Goals @ TEDxStanleyPark conference. He is the author of the best-seller F.U. Money: Make As Much Money As You Damn Well Want And Live Your LIfe As YOu Damn Well Please!
Listen to the MP3 Audio: The Invisible Force – self-image – enables you to achieve great goals by Dan Lok @ TEDxStanleyPark
Dan Lok – Multi-millionaire entrepreneur
I’m going to explain an idea that every child should learn before they go to school. Yet most people go through their lives never really understand it.
I’m going to explain an idea that will help you learn and understand and apply every single piece of information, knowledge and insight that you’ll get from all the fantastic speakers that you’ve been listening to, for the rest of today or any other day — an idea that would take what you learn to a whole new level.
I’m going to explain an idea that is so transformative, yet so simple, that has the power to completely transform your life.
By a show of hands, how many of you know someone in your life that is in great shape, that’s very fit, yet doesn’t even try to stay in shape at all? Put up your hand if you know those people. Yeah, don’t you just hate those people?
And how many of you know someone in your life that — maybe a couple that’s been together 2, 3, 5, 10 years, 20 years but they still have that spark; they still have that connection and they’re still very much in love. Put up your hand if you know a couple like that. Yes?
And on the other hand, how many of you know couples that have been together, maybe just a couple of years and yet they want to strangle each other. Put up your hand if you know someone like that.
Nice, I see a couple ladies elbowing their spouse, that’s very nice, that’s very nice.
And this isn’t even my idea and it’s not a new idea but it’s something that I become aware of. Dr. Maxwell Maltz, around 1960, said he was the greatest psychological discovery of his generation, and that’s the concept of self-image.
You see, you and I, we have an image of ourselves. It’s how we see ourselves. When you look in the mirror, there’s a reflection coming back from the mirror, that’s the reflection of your physical being. But that’s not how you see you.
Instead, you see you in your mind. You see you in your mind.
If you’re wondering, well, then what kind of self-image do you have? It’s very simple. All you have to do is look at the very aspects of your life.
Take a look at the results you’re getting. Possibly your relationships, your body, your income, the position you hold at work, the business you operate in, your personal appearance — all these things are the results of the outer expressions of your inner self image.
Now so why great ideas alone are not enough — why great ideas alone are not enough to change our lives?
You see, one of the great mistakes that most people make is they are attempting to change their body; they are attempting to change the relationship; they are attempting to change the income, their finance.
They are attempting to change something outside of themselves in searching something that’s inside with themselves. Some people see themselves as conservative and unsafe: are they going to do anything crazy? Are they going to go bungee jumping or skydiving? No, unless you’re drunk or something like that.
So you’re not going to do anything crazy or act nuts unless you’re drunk. Now you might say it’s the alcohol but really it’s just you finally getting permission to be yourself, the alcohol is just an excuse.
If you are playful, if you’re fun, if you’re outrageous you’re going to talk differently, you’re going to move differently. You’re going to dress differently. Maybe in a red suit. And you’re going to do things differently and there’s no right or wrong but most of us have trapped ourselves in an old self-image and never really update who we are today.
So then when you go and learn a new skill, when you go learn a new ability, a new idea but we’re stuck in this self-image: this is who I am and that’s why we never surpass it.
Let me give you a metaphor, that will make sense for you. Let’s say in this room that we set the thermostat at 70 degrees. Let’s say that 70 degrees is a metaphor, it’s a what? Metaphor for your comfort zone, which is also known as your self-image. Your comfort zone.
And most people have goals that are larger; they’re more than their self-image and that’s why most people don’t get to their goals unless they alter and/or expand their self-image.
So 70 degrees is your comfort zone. 70 degrees is your body, not your goal, not where you want to be eventually but what you’re comfortable with.
70 degrees is the amount of love and passion and connection you have in your personal intimate relationship. Again not your goal but you know what where you live with, what you live with regularly.
70 degrees is the amount of money that you need to make to be comfortable; not your goal, what you’re comfortable with.
Let’s say the temperature drops to 65 degrees. Now what happens is your brain goes, hey, hey, hey, I’m a 70 degreer or not a 65.
The heaters kicked on, you feel there is a drive and there is this urge and you want to do something about it.
By show of hands, how many of you ever have experienced part of life maybe your body, maybe your income, maybe your relationship where it dropped and you felt it’s not good enough and you felt this incredible drive to do something about it, yeah. But with that way I’m going to say oh yeah. Oh yeah.
And from there and you try something and it doesn’t work and you try something else and it doesn’t work and you try something else and it doesn’t work. Now after a while nobody wants to be a disappointment. No one wants to feel like a failure in their lives.
So what some people do is they lower the thermostats. They lower their expectations. They make their goals smaller, more realistic, more reasonable. Don’t get your hopes up or you’ll be disappointed.
Well, you know, maybe I’m not a 70 degreer, maybe I am 65 degreer. Look at those 70 degree people, so arrogant, so fool of themselves; they’re probably workaholics anyway. I’m being smart, I’m cutting back, I’m downsizing. I don’t want to burn myself out. I want to have more balance in my life.
Now before you know it they’re at 62, then they’re at 58. Now by the way when they’re at 58, do they hang around with 70 degree people? No, they hang around with 50 degree people, so they feel better about themselves on a regular basis.
Why do you think people watch reality TV? You know what I thought my life is a mess. Look at these people on TV, instantly you better about yourself. Now, but you’re at tax, obviously you’re not like that, you’re an overachiever yes. You’re an overachiever.