Read the full transcript of TV Host Lindsey Granger’s talk titled “Why You Should Set Intentionally Unrealistic Goals” at TEDxCU 2024 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
The Phone Call That Changed My Life
LINDSEY GRANGER: One year ago, I was having a normal morning, you know, tripping over my dog, spilling my coffee while feeding my toddler, when the phone rang. It was a call that changed my life. Picture it, here was me, and on the other end of the line was the executive producers of “The View.” The View, have you heard of it?
Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, The View, telling me they wanted me to audition for that show, to save me who was told I was weird because at 10 years old, I knew I wanted to be a TV host. Most kids in the 90s were not as firm in their future career prospects as I was. They were still using the old standbys like teacher, doctor, Batman. But I knew I wanted to be a journalist, more specifically, the next Oprah.
Was it unrealistic? Absolutely. Did that stop me? Absolutely not.
The Influence of My Great Grandmother
I often think back to where I got the courage to feel this way, and I give all the credit to my great grandmother, Lucille Young, because at that young age, her influence helped me cultivate a lifelong habit of being intentionally unrealistic. Now being intentionally unrealistic is not for the faint of heart. It’s about as easy as getting my toddler to potty train herself. Improbable goals are called that for a reason.
If they were easy to achieve, we would call them verified Twitter. I mean, wait, it’s called X, X account. So you can imagine the joy of the preteen inside of me who told everyone she was the next Soledad O’Brien, Arsenio Hall, or Carson Daly. Wait, but not the one from the Today Show, the one from TRL when he was really cool?
Getting invited to the world’s number one talk show. This goal that was so unrealistic was actually happening. But what makes me special is not my unrealistic achievements. It’s the work I put in to get there.
Being intentionally unrealistic is not my way with words. It’s my way of life. This mindset is not dependent on the inherent privilege of your current circumstance, but rather fueled by your willingness to find creative ways to change it. And I know for sure that fortune favors the bold.
Step 1: Tango With the Titans
So here’s my four-step blueprint towards living an intentionally unrealistic life where your dreams become your reality. First, you need to tango with the Titans. So right out of college, I interned at NBC. As a tech-savvy 20-something, I realized that everyone in the building had the same email format.
I think that’s still the case. So I decided to tango with the Titans. And which dance partner did I set my sights on? Well, the CEO of Universal Pictures.
Bold, I know. I felt ridiculous pressing send on an email to someone of that stature. But if I really wanted to boogie with the big wigs, I had to do it. To my surprise, he responded.
And he invited me to get down with the Giants. And I spent the entire day at Universal Pictures in LA with the entire executive staff. By the end of the day, I asked him, “What made you respond to my email?” And he looked at me and said, “The fact that you, an intern, had the nerve and audacity to call a meeting with me is so ridiculous and hilarious that I just had to. Plus, it was well-written.” I’m still my mentor to this day. That summer of 2009, I reached out to just about every executive in the NBC building. Truthfully, most did not respond.
But you can’t be scared or embarrassed that people will reject you. Part of being intentionally unrealistic is identifying, then approaching the people with the power to make your dreams become a reality. Get in touch. Send a kite.
Gmail is free. And your local library offers free Wi-Fi and computers. So there are no excuses. And don’t worry about getting a “no.”
To me, a “no” simply means next opportunity.
Step 2: Face Your Fears and Find Your Footing
Second, face your fears and find your footing. At 22 years old, I landed a job as a producer. Yes. But a producer isn’t quite Oprah. So I still had to figure out how to get on the TV. So I began pitching stories daily to our website. And finally, one got a response.
Perfect. Except here’s the deal. They asked me to shoot and edit my own content in order to be in it. The rest is a roll, knowing damn well I never touched a professional camera nor edited anything of substance in my life. I was winging it. I learned how to shoot and edit in one week, thanks to YouTube University. No financial aid required. I highly recommend it.
Sure, it was unrealistic of me to think that I would learn these professional skills in one week. But I did it. And I’m not telling y’all I was Martin Scorsese-level good. I’m telling you I was good enough to pass.
And when I ended up using those professional skills to land my first on-air job, one step closer to… You got it, Oprah. Now I’m not telling y’all to lie on your application, okay? There’s a difference between lying and learning.
Maybe your unrealistic goal requires skills you don’t currently have. But what’s stopping you from acquiring them while you pursue it? I have found that when you face your fears, you often find your footing. But you gotta be willing to step out on faith in yourself first.
Step 3: Unplug From the Unsupportive
Next. Unplug from the unsupportive. So for three years, I was a hard-working on-air correspondent for a small but national TV show. I loved my job.
And I felt I had earned my next step as host of the show.
I wore my Sunday’s best outfit, like true church outfit like today. Took a deep breath and moseyed on into my boss’s office. I confidently laid out all I had accomplished over the last three years and my goals for a promotion.
To which she replied, “You’re not ready to be a national TV host.” Dismayed but not defeated, I asked what steps I could take to get ready. Then, because I was aware my male co-worker with a very, very, very similar job title was making double my salary, I asked for a raise. My female boss smiled and looked at me and said, “We all know that you work really hard, but this is a fun job. We have no extra money. We pay in love.” Frustrated, I went back to my desk in a small newsroom with about ten TVs surrounding me. Some of those TVs were playing a rival talk show that I would have loved to work on.
And what do you know? My agent ended up getting me an audition. Amazing! But here’s the deal.
I would have to audition on air for a show that plays in the middle of my newsroom every day. What was I going to do? I didn’t want to get canceled like a rerun if my bosses saw me up there. So I did what any young, ambitious, underpaid queen would do.
I unplugged the HDMI cords just enough so you couldn’t really tell they were unplugged. My bosses and the tech team were going crazy trying to figure out what was wrong with this brand new TV. I know, I know, it’s not right. It’s really not right.
But neither is paying men in cash and women in love. My calculated risk resulted in a job. Thank God. And you can imagine the look on my boss’ face when I would now be a national TV host.
You know the role she said I wasn’t ready for. What it taught me is that outgrowing places is okay. There’s going to be people that try to stifle you, making you feel smaller than you know you are. I stand here as proof that sometimes you’ve got to unplug the TV on folks that ain’t ready to watch you grow.
Step 4: See It, Be It
And finally see it, be it. I once read that actor Jim Carrey told Oprah, my idol and fictional best friend, that as a broke aspiring performer he wrote himself a $10 million check for “acting services rendered.” Years and years passed and then he was cast in the movie “Dumb and Dumber” for guess how much? $10 million bucks.
My blank check so to speak is envisioning myself as a best-selling author hosting a groundbreaking TV show. Seeing my name listed next to Oprah and let me tell y’all, it looked good. What do you see written on your blank check? And for my young folks out there what memo do you see on your Zelle, Cash App or Venmo?
But it goes way beyond fantasizing though. You have to actively visualize these situations and practice how you would handle them. I often talk to myself in the shower preparing for what I would say on The View long before I ever got a call. In fact, my partner Colin once walked in on me interviewing my shampoo bottle and he was thoroughly confused like, “Who are you talking to?”
He now accepts my weirdness and needs to practice things in my mind before they happen in real life. He just reminds me to put on clothes first. I’m still dreamscaping my life and following my own blueprint. My next unrealistic goal is ownership of the creative projects that I’m a part of and that’s in large part because of the women at The View.
The truth is I didn’t book the job at The View. I’m not going to lie, I was distraught when I saw a magazine article listing the name of the new host and my name was not there. I actually pulled over to the side of the road and sobbed for over an hour. When I finally got the call from the executive producers, the same ones I was so excited to speak to at the beginning of this story, telling me that I was not chosen for the role it felt like a 10,000 pound brick dropped on my chest.
You would think that would have broken me, especially since I lost my job for auditioning. My boss’s boss actually told me, “Next time I should stay in my place.”
The Journey’s Reality
Believe me when I tell you striving for unrealistic goals is not a linear, smooth road. There’s going to be bumps, hard turns, and even dead ends, but you have to be willing to fail big time, especially when your aim is higher than most people can see. Getting the call from “The View” was a win for me. I know for sure I can now hold my own on that stage.
Listen, I’m still the girl who felt unworthy when she didn’t get into the Syracuse journalism program. I’m the girl who felt abandoned when she was passed over for a political election reporter role. I’m the girl who felt insecure and fearful when I was told I didn’t have the look and wasn’t ready for national TV.
Personal Growth
But I’m also the girl who felt resilient auditioning for “The View” and who can stand here on this stage feeling thrilled, excited, ecstatic, overjoyed, so happy to be sharing my story with you. Recognizing that your potential lies not in your present circumstance but in your ability to envision your life unrealistically, then go put in the work.
This mindset for me is about more than being the next Oprah. I’m intentionally unrealistic for my two-year-old baby. I want her to know that the world cannot dictate what she can become, that she needs to break those glass ceilings in her mind before she goes and breaks them out in the world.
Honoring Family Heritage
I am intentionally unrealistic to my great-grandmother Lucille Young, who passed away last year at 106 years old. Had I not gotten that audition at “The View,” I would not have been in New York to say goodbye to her the day before she passed. She showed our whole family what it looked like to work her way from the factories of South Carolina to New York City, where she went into business for herself as a black woman in the 1940s, long before civil rights protections. She was relentless in what others deemed to be her unrealistic pursuit of freedom and happiness.
Words of Wisdom
My grandmother used to always tell me something that plays out in my mind because this intentionally unrealistic road is lined with naysayers. So I’m going to leave you all with her best advice: Whenever someone takes the time out to criticize your lofty goals, they’ll usually start out with something like “Well, if I were you…” I want you to stop them right there and say, “Well, you ain’t me.” Then keep it moving towards the intentionally unrealistic life you deserve.
