Full text of life coach Anthony Cheam’s talk on You 2.0 – What it REALLY Takes to Be the Best Version of Yourself at TEDxChathamKent event.
Listen to the MP3 Audio here:
TRANSCRIPT:
Anthony Cheam – Life coach
Listen I’ve been watching TEDx conferences for years now — and what I love about the TEDx conferences is the fact that they make it available to the globe – the global opportunity, the global culture. And it says to me that human evolution – it’s certainly moving in the right direction.
And so I thank you for having me here today. I’m honored and privileged.
So I have one question for you. How many people, by a show of hands, own or have used a computer, tablet or phone?
Wow! That’s all of you, right!
Now, how many people in here have ever had the message on the computer tablet or phone – the following: the message is – ‘A new version of your software is available for download’ ‘Would version 2.0… would you like to download?’
Now who in here has ever had that message, by show of hands? Yes.
Now how many people have actually ignored that message – said ‘No’ to it, or just completes it. ‘Nah, I’m not going to do it, I’m too busy!’ right.
I have too.
What happens if you continuously ignore that message over time – weeks, days, months, perhaps. Your computer begins to slow down, and it doesn’t run as effectively and as efficiently as you want it to and as it is intended to run.
The point being is this: in the case of antivirus software which in today’s advanced technological world, it is updating on its own without you having to do anything.
Now imagine for a second, you actually had to update your software every second into your antivirus software! If you continuously ignored that message, what would happen? Viruses would take your computer, slow it down, corrupt it, and eventually, the worst-case scenario it would crash.
Who in here has ever had their computer crashed on them all of a sudden? I have.
Who likes that, right? Nobody likes that, of course, not.
Now what is the primary intent of an update or upgrading your software? So it does the complete opposite, right. So it fixes all the bugs, so it fixes all the errors, so it updates your operating system, so your operating system can run that much more smoothly, productively and effectively.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have just given you one of the greatest metaphors for life, itself!
How many times in here has life presented us with a challenge, a problem, opportunity, a struggle or any form of adversity today and life presents us on the screen of our mind, of our life. And it says: a new version of you… You 2.0 is available to you, right now. Would you like to download it now?
Yes or no?
OK or cancel?
Download it now or later?
Now what happens if we turn away from that message? Then we begin to slow down and a whole host of viruses – mind and live viruses show up plaguing our body, minds and spirit and our hearts in the form of phobias, addictions, fears, anxieties, physical dis-ease shows up! And we wonder why.
Now what is the primary intent of having an update or upgrade like that in our life?
What is the primary intent of that?
And the intent is this — so you can work faster, stronger, more efficiently, be wiser, more intellectually sound, and ultimately, at the end of the day — these challenges that show up are to prepare us for the next challenges in life.
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I like to use the metaphor for weight training. If your goal is to lift a hundred pounds over your head eventually in six months and you can only lift 40 pounds over your head, you must start with 40 and then eventually move up to 45 and 50 and 60. If you don’t train the muscle, when it comes time to do the actual lift for 100, you’re not going to be able to do it.
The same thing goes for life. We must have mental muscle, emotional muscle, heart muscle, spiritual muscle.
Now sometimes when we face in our computer and it says would you like to download it now – Yes or No! If we actually press YES on it, sometimes do we not get a message that says something on the lines of — “Before you download this, you must first accept the terms and conditions of this agreement… blah-blah-blah-blah-blah” And there’s about fifty pages, which no one reads, right! And then you got to press click on the square box at the bottom and then press ‘Yes’!
In life, if you choose to accept the terms and conditions of your challenge, your adversity, what you’re really telling me is this: ‘You’re accepting the terms and conditions to take responsibility… full responsibility for what shows up in your life.’
Now, there’s a whole slew plethora of challenges and problems that show up in our life, daily, from the outside world: the weather, the economy, that we have no control over — disease… our boyfriend or a girlfriend might leave us! Or a husband or wife might leave us! Other things we certainly can’t control.
However, would you not agree that going back to university, going back to college, or upgrading your skills and getting new certifications on a yearly basis…. would that not constitute an upgrade and update in your life software? Yes, yes!!!
We’re not nurturing your relationship with your kids, your family, your friends, God, the Universe… And continuously meeting the needs of those you love, constitute an upgrade and update in your software? Absolutely!
Would not prayer and meditation, and taking part in an exercise program, or eating nursing foods, that Bob so clearly pointed out, — would that not constitute an upgrade and update in your life? Yes!
Would not seeking counseling and coaching and coming to seminars like this and seeing me speak constitute an upgrade and updating software?
Yes, of course, right!
But I’m not so easily convincing and naive to think that life is as easy as pressing a button on the screen of your life and ‘Yes’ and within seconds our life is better. It’s like I like the metaphor and you know, remember ‘The Matrix’? Who’s seen ‘The Matrix’ before, the movie, ‘The Matrix’ — great metaphor.
Neo is played by Keanu Reeves, who’s the primary hero, protagonist in the movie. And he’s asleep in a dream called ‘The Matrix’. And they find him, they pull him out! He’s the hero, he’s the savior.
And there comes a point in the movie – I love this. He’s sitting in a chair and they plug him into this computer and start uploading/ downloading new software into his brain, his computer’s a brain or his brain is a computer. And as the guy shuffling through the disks – he’s skipping the loading program – training program. All these things, he goes right to combat training and as he sticks it in, Neo looks at him and goes “I’m going to learn Jujitsu!” and the AI goes through the seconds — He’s a jujitsu master.
And he can chop his way through life and everything’s all fine and within hours he’s mastered every single martial arts discipline known to man, within hours. And later on in the movie, his girlfriend is standing on top of a building and she calls the guy up and says ‘I need to learn to fly this particular model of a helicopter. Could you do that?’ The guy puts the disc in. She can learn how to fly a helicopter – No problem!
Now as much as there are some differences between the metaphors I’ve used in computers and our life, there are some similarities. And let me point this out.
We may not be able to fly a helicopter or learn martial arts in seconds or minutes, but we can do it over a lifetime in 10 hours, 10 weeks, 10 months. If we just consciously choose to face what’s in front of us, choose what we face, what’s in front of us.
Now I believe the next three components are elemental in upgrading and updating your software, which basically are a condensed version of what I write in my book — ‘The ABCs of Life: Living a Life of Power, Purpose and Passion.’ And they are as follows: Faith, Fire and Flexibility!
Now ultimately when we meet a challenge, when we face a struggle in our life, and we turn away from that struggle — are we operating from a level of faith or from a level of fear?
Fear, now, let’s define fear for a second. We may have all heard that acronym of FEAR right. False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s nice; right. I like the more pragmatic simplistic version. Forget everything and run, all right. Just run as fast you can. Turn away and run. Everything’s getting better.
But in the simplest terms and the simplest definitions possible — fear is simply this. And listen clearly, fear is trusting that the worst, the bad, the wrong, the ugly will happen regardless of any physical evidence to suggest that it will.
Let’s say you fear getting in a car accident, or you fear losing your job! What you’re really telling me is this – you’re trusting that those things are going to happen, regardless of any physical evidence to suggest that it will. You might actually be sitting in your bed fearing these things because you’re fearing and focusing on it, you’re feeling it.
What is FAITH? Listen clearly, I love this definition – Focused Awareness In Trusting Harmony! Beautiful! But at its base let’s define it more clearly and more effectively.
Faith is simply trusting that the best, the good, the righteous and the beautiful will happen, regardless of any physical evidence to suggest that it will.
So whatever struggle you are going through currently in your life, right now – personally, professionally… whether it’s in your control or not… If you meet that with faith and courage, what you’re basically telling me is this — that you’re going to trust that no matter what’s happening, no matter how bad it is, you’re going to trust that the good, the best, the righteous and the beautiful will happen, regardless of any physical evidence to suggest that it will.
In fact, evidence may suggest that it won’t work out. But you’re going to trust anyway.
Second, FIRE VERSUS ICE. When I think of ice, I think of someone who’s paralyzed and frozen by fear, anxiety, worry, inadequacy, unworthiness. We’ve all been there before.
And out of that frozen cold heart arises one word that I can think of — cynicism. A cynic, and out of that cynic arises three components that is outlined so beautifully in the self-help books, self-help classic book by Dale Carnegie, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. And he says this: Criticize, condemn and complain… people that have a cold heart, frozen heart, start to criticize life, their friends, their family. They start to condemn God, the universe or whoever. They start to complain about virtually everything that shows up in their life, regardless if it’s good or not.
When I think of fire, I think of the power of the Sun that heats our whole entire planet, that without it we’d all be dust. That I think when I think of fire – I think of blazing determination, I think your burning desire that when you focus the energy of the Sun through a magnifying glass, when it’s focused it can sear and burn through anything.
They say that you can measure the IQ of any human being on the planet, which in today’s world means this much. But they can never measure the heart, the hunger, the drive, the power of the human spirit of a man, woman or child.
Number three FLEXIBILITY VS. RIGIDITY. In seminars like this that I do, that I conduct and with working with groups and individuals, I ask them this question about flexibility and rigidity. I ask them this: What is the one thing in nature that has the potential to survive a hurricane, tornado or torrential storms?” A palm tree. Why? Because it bends and flexes in the wind, yet – and here’s the key – remains deeply rooted in the earth.
So must we be flexible in our response to challenge and how we approach the challenge, yet remain deeply rooted in what’s most important in our life, what we deem as valuable, our principles, our morals.
Now I want to end here in terms of something that is very important, in terms of the most important update and upgrade that you could possibly make in your life, consistently throughout your life, and perhaps you are in that stage right now!
It is the most important update of upgrading your life software your systems of belief based on the current life stage you discover yourself to be in. What does that mean? I’ll give you a couple of examples of this to illustrate it.
I was coaching a 45 year-old woman in her mid 40s. And after getting to know her for a couple minutes I realized this: This woman is strong, she is healthy, she’s fit, she’s beautiful, she’s wise, makes a lot of money. What does she need me for?
And it soon turned out she was depressed, frustrated, lacking meaning and purpose in her life. And I soon discovered that she had a blueprint or worldview or ‘system of belief’ that was 20 years old. But her software was out of date.
See, in her 20s and 30s, she was this fitness competitor, fitness model – fitness bodybuilder – getting pictures done in magazines, getting all this attention, making connections! People loved her and respected her.
Now she’s in her mid-40s and she could still do that, but she transitioned into a different stage of her life. Yet her software didn’t follow. She wasn’t even aware of that.
And so what actually happened was I got her to be aware of that. Asked her questions and from that awareness I asked her mind powering, thought-provoking questions like… ‘Happiness is what… ?’ ‘What is real happiness to you?’ ‘Let’s create a new vision for yourself!’ ‘Health is what… energy is what… vitality is what… vigor is what’. And she started to create a new foundation for her life and started having a new compelling future. And almost instantly, she’d see her whole state change.
Second example is this. Who in here, has kids or children? I have two of them – five and a three-year-old. Would not having your first child or is not having your first child a massive upgrade and update in your life software? Yes, of course, it is.
You can read as many books on labor, on children. My wife did… and nothing prepared you for the exhaustion and the chaos of it. But it’s also very rewarding.
Now, in the example I’m giving you now, let’s say for example, the mother has this child for the first time. She looks at this baby with so much unconditional love, right! And she says. ‘You know what! I’ve made some bad decisions in my life… I drank too much, I partied too much, I did too many drugs. I hung around the wrong people. This child deserves more. I’m changing now!’ And she consciously chooses to upgrade her software.
Now let’s say, for example, the father. Now this can be reversed. I’m not picking on fathers by any means. But the father says consciously/ unconsciously and says ‘You know what… I’m going to continue on with my life and be selfish, egotistical, drink, party, come home in the wee hours in the morning and not change!’
And guess what shows up? Disharmony in the life software of your relationship shows up! And guess what viruses within that relationship plague both the couples in the worst form: Hate and resentment! And guess who suffers the worst of it? The child!
Now lastly, I will end here.
Is it not true that sometimes on the computer screen or tablet or phone that we have, when our download is almost fully complete, we get a message that says something like ‘Your download is almost fully complete! But in order for the completion of this download, you must restart your computer!’?
The same thing goes for us as human beings – who – if you’re going through some chaos in your life, some struggles, lacking meaning, or whatever struggle you’re going through… Sometimes we must do this… ‘Press restart!’ on our minds, our bodies and our souls. Take a couple steps back, re-examine our motives, re-examine who we are, reevaluate what’s most important to us, reprioritize our vision, our commitment, our mission, our passions, our purpose in our power… And claim it. No one’s going to do it for you.
Food for thought.
You 2.0 is available to you at any moment in time. The question is – are you going to consciously step in and use faith, fire and flexibility or are you going to be paralyzed by fear, a cold heart and rigidity?
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Anthony Cheam, wishing that you give, live and love with ultimate limitless and infinite power, purpose and passion.
