What You Are Missing While Being A Digital Zombie: Patrik Wincent (Transcript)

Full text of psychotherapist Patrik Wincent’s talk: What You Are Missing While Being A Digital Zombie at TEDxStockholm conference. In this talk, Patrik takes us on a journey through his own Internet addiction, and gives us valuable tips to avoid becoming digital zombies.

Listen to the MP3 Audio here:

TRANSCRIPT:

Patrik Wincent – Psychotherapist

So before I start, I would like everybody to take out their phones. Pick it up and then give it to the person on the left or the right. It doesn’t matter which one as long as you don’t have your own phone on you.

And don’t worry, you’re all going to get your phones back. So don’t worry about it. OK.

So now put your phones back into your pockets. And take a deep breath…

Welcome to the Old World.

So this is me being an Indian. I grew up in the south of Sweden and I loved playing cowboys and Indians. I thought it was great fun.

And I lived where there was a lot of nature; used to ride bikes and skateboard. And this goes out to the younger generation. We hardly had any technology at all. We had one TV and two channels. And we had a phone stuck on the wall. And sometimes when it rang, we didn’t even answer the phone.

And I know is shocking, but it is true.

And then computers came into my life, such as Atari and Commodore 64. And I was blown away. And the old world, as I knew it, was gone.

And this is my son. And yes, I must admit that I am, too, guilty of letting him play video games in their early age. And I thought it was both convenient as well. It was great fun.

And looking back into my younger adulthood, I could see that I often escaped into the virtual world.

Back then, I had my son only on the weekends. And every time we went outside, I always had one eye on my phone and the other one trying to interact with my son.

And we did spend time together: Playing video games, most of the time.

And he could come up to me sometimes to say, can we go outside and play? And I said, yes, but not now, because I needed maybe to level up on some game or I needed to work.

So I created this perfect electronic babysitter by just placing him in front of a computer and my problems were solved.

So actually, we have to take a look about the things that we see as a problem. And four things.

So what do you think about a baby who have yet not learned how to speak, but knows easily how to incorporate an iPad?

Studies shown by Hilda Kabali shows that 30% of children under the age of two knows easily how to use an iPad but haven’t yet learned how to speak. And also, the age between 0 to 2, the brain doubles in size and continues to grow until they become 25 years.

So early brain development is dependent on which environment and which surroundings we’re in.

And also, studies have shown that three, four year olds easily knows how to control an iPad having rhetorical difficulties by grasping objects such as blocks, pen and a paper.

So what is a mobile zombie?

Well, actually, we see them every day. They are the ones that is looking at their phones; you know, in front of them walking and bumping into each other’s, bumping into trees, bumping into walls.

My son and I, you know, we spend a lot of times together and he really loved playing table tennis. I remember this one time he entered this huge tournament. And I was sitting at the bench cheering, supposedly. But I was pretty much just staring down at my phone.

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And he did really good at this tournament. He actually came to the finals. And he was about to meet this very tough opponent. And he started playing and the score was even and he had two points to win.

And I felt a vibration in my pocket and I had to take up my phone to see what was happening. And something new had happened on Facebook. And I really needed to check it out.

And I hear the crowd is sharing. And I looked up from my phone to see what was happening. And it was as if everything was in slow motion. Everybody’s surrounding my son to congratulate him because he had just won the whole tournament.

But what I sadly see is that he’s looking at me with these sad eyes, knowing that I missed watching him win the last ball that made him the champion of this tournament. Just because I was too busy looking down at my phone all the time.

And I could really feel his pain of me not being present in this very moment. And for the whole day, it did not even want to speak to me again.

So a mobile zombie, I’m going to show you some pictures from before and after you become a mobile zombie. You are ready?

OK, so this is a picture before a mother interacting with her baby. And this is a picture how it could look more today.

A father outside playing with his kid. Or maybe playing, but maybe more on his phone.

How about this, a mother reading to her baby? Or a baby may be left alone with an iPad.

How about this? A romantic couple in love looking into each other’s eyes. And maybe not so in love looking down at the phones, instead.

How about this, a family connected. Playing board games. Or, yeah, connected but maybe more through the wireless network.

So how was that for you? So just let that sink in. And we will continue.

So mobile, the new cigarette, it has become a new type of distraction and in certain areas also be called the new cigarette, because we have it in our pockets. And every time we feel we’re bored or frustrated, when we feel some tension, we have a tendency to always wanting to pick it up because it gives us rewards and pleasure which is called dopamine; the same kind of effect as it does with cigarettes.

So modern technology has become the new type of distraction. We as humans are now starting to react like cats. You know, when a cat, when they hear a sound or, you know, they see a vibration, they are twitching their bodies like that. We humans are also starting to twitch our bodies when we hear an SMS or an e-mail sound. When we feel a vibration we are twitching.

So what happens to our bodies is that we are releasing adrenaline and cortisol, which is the same as stress hormones. And if we get too much stress hormones, longer periods of time, it can become chronic. So I’m not getting into that so much, but I’m just going to say that it’s not good.

So how much should we allow our children to engage with technology?

And when do we as parents say enough, you know, when do we draw the line? Because many of us is confused, because there are giving iPads and laptops to kindergartens and pre-school. Does that mean it’s okay?

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I mean, it’s a good thought. In many cases, there are good applications and good video games that actually stimulates their development in a positive way, of course. But in many cases, it is not so.

Instead, we are seeing them staring straight down on a tablet, watching the latest Disney film or playing a video game. And no one can blame a parent for wanting to take the shortcut. I know for a fact I’ve done it for years. I know how effective it can be. I was blaming work. I had a company to run. So I didn’t have any regular hours.

I was working late nights and it was pretty bad. Have you ever tried to say to your son or your partner, let’s have some quality time? You know, maybe watch a movie together. And then you’re sitting there at the sofa having your laptop on your knees. Multitasking, trying to work. And then also having that quality time?

I can’t reassure you it’s not a good idea. It’s not something I can recommend.

So the distraction has become the norm rather than the exception. So we give technology to our children and at the same time miss the quality time. We create this perfect electronic babysitter by throwing an iPad in the laps and expresses pride by saying, well, this should keep them quiet for a couple of hours.

So we have to ask ourselves a question, is a good child — is a quiet child a good child? Of course not.

We need to interact to decipher our body language. Our children need to nag, yell, scream, move their bodies. So our health and our happiness is at stake in many cases.

And I often get this question: Well, if the technology… if they don’t have their technology, who is then going to entertain them?

So the myth that our children need to be entertained is the opposite of what they really need. They are becoming more dependent on their parents. And I truly believe that they need to learn from life to being in a situation where it doesn’t exist quick rewards, you know, to learn how to be patient and tolerant, wait their turn.

So if we would look at something that is positive for our children that we know, so let’s say movement, for instance. If a child gets their normal need of moving their bodies, they will also incorporate and manage school more successfully. And while some movements can be found indoors, it is more optimal to be found outdoors.

And also physical contact that we know reduces human anxiety and also reduces adrenaline, cortisol, and also to put our children into larger context for them to socialize in larger groups, instead of putting them in front of the computer.

And also nature. Green environments, which we know is both soothing as well as good for the brain and the nervous system and our bodies.

So if we will get some quick tips for parents, it could be something like this: Help to develop new interests. Create opportunities for children to play for each other. And also our children craves parental attention, not video games. And also to read to our child, maybe half an hour a day.

And I love this quote when somebody said: “There is no app that can replace your lap.”

So, my son and I went to Thailand to visit my father. And we ended up in this local Buddhist monastery way up in the mountains where no man has ever gone before or something like that.

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And the locals were really excited. They wanted us to meet this elderly, very special Buddhist monk. He was probably a light or something, I don’t know.

But we went up to him and the first thing my son said to him was: “Are you poor?”

And he said, “Actually, I’m the wealthiest man on this planet, and yet I have nothing.”

And he started to talk about the words of Dalai Lama by saying, ‘You have everything, you have big houses but no one to talk to.’

‘You have many computers, but less communication.’

‘You can travel planets but you can hardly go across the street to talk to the neighbor.’

‘You have a lot of quantity, but less quality, much knowledge and experts, but more conflicts.’

And after this experience, I had myself a wakeup call. I went back home. I stripped myself on technology for two weeks and I sat down and wanted to prioritize things that I wanted in my life. Because I could really feel that I was emotionally distant. And I wanted to change that.

So I made up some rules. No technology at the dinner table or breakfast. No technology in the bedroom. And sometimes when we go out, we leave the phone at the door. We go training. We read books. We do stuff. And I believe moderation is the key. It’s like a digital diet, just like food.

We need to find a healthy way to balance our habits. And I truly believe that artists and visionaries just like Einstein, Mozart, Michelangelo, who often talked about the importance of using our imagination or fantasy to contemplate, to be creative, that makes us humans, create big things, not only to have that external information, but also to create something from within, and then let that come out to the world.

So, pick up your phones. And give it back to the rightful owner.

So how was that? How many did feel some tension? Hands up. Restlessness. OK.

So be honest. How many of you touched a display button to see if you missed anything on your phone? How many? OK.

So that just shows us how important our technology has become that we as humans have this primitive urge to have control of our surroundings. And if we are then be given this little device that gives us that control, then we have a tendency to always wanting to pick it up all the time.

So the real world is pretty great. And a digital world should be added to our lives, never to be replaced.

So let us just think about that the next time when we interact with our children and our loved ones. So thank you for allowing me to speak.

Thank you.