Here is the full transcript of American comedian Tom Segura’s interview on The Joe Rogan Experience #2429, December 23, 2025.
Brief Notes: In this high-energy installment of the Joe Rogan Experience, Joe reunites with longtime friend and fellow comedian Tom Segura to catch up on life, fitness, and the surreal nature of the entertainment industry. Rogan and Segura trade absurd road anecdotes, swap dark parenting humor, and revisit some of their most notorious bits, all while promoting Segura’s new Netflix special, “Tom Segura: Teacher.”
The episode showcases Segura’s signature deadpan storytelling, his chemistry with Rogan, and their shared fascination with how comedy has evolved in a hyper-online world. Along the way, the two touch on podcasts, fighting shape vs. dad bod shape, and why the best material still comes from life’s most embarrassing moments.
The Croissant Paradox
JOE ROGAN: Is that hat your croissant company, bro? Those croissants are real, aren’t they? I was going to eat one bite. This is what’s left. I was like, I’ll have a bite.
TOM SEGURA: They’re so good, man.
JOE ROGAN: Too buttery. Well, how can a guy lose as much weight as you lost and then open up a bakery?
TOM SEGURA: Because I started with them when I was so fat. It was perfect. Like, I fell in love with that place when I was close to my fattest, and I was like, this is a match made in heaven.
JOE ROGAN: How big were you when you were your fattest?
TOM SEGURA: The most I ever weighed was 265.
JOE ROGAN: Holy s*. Yeah. And what do you weigh now?
TOM SEGURA: 187. That’s insane.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: So that’s like, what, 80 pounds?
JOE ROGAN: What does that feel like on your joints?
TOM SEGURA: Feels great. I feel so much better. I feel so much better. Of course, I’m lifting four days a week.
JOE ROGAN: Wow.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I just lifted this morning.
JOE ROGAN: Do you have a trainer?
TOM SEGURA: No, he meets me there every day or every day that I’m training.
JOE ROGAN: You do that for accountability?
TOM SEGURA: You know, I just realized that, I mean, I’ve trained enough now where I can do a good workout on my own, but I always feel like it’s never as good as when he’s there. It’s always a little bit harder, and I always feel like it’s a better workout when he’s there.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. He pushes me, Sean.
JOE ROGAN: So you’ve been with him for a while?
The Nutrition Game
TOM SEGURA: I’ve been with him for years. The other difference, the big difference, is that I’ve been dialed in, not with croissants, but I’ve dialed in my nutrition a lot more. I eat four times a day now, and I’m on top of my macros. Things I’ve never done before.
JOE ROGAN: Why do you eat four times a day?
TOM SEGURA: This nutritionist just gave me this plan, and I’ve been just doing it.
JOE ROGAN: Interesting.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. So I eat 50 grams of protein at every, at each of those four different meals.
JOE ROGAN: Okay.
TOM SEGURA: So I end up getting 200 grams.
JOE ROGAN: So you do smaller meals that are lower in calories but high in protein.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Yep. And then I also carb cycle. So, if today was legs, I know that it’s a more intense workout. I’ll do the full portions of these carbs, which sometimes are sweet potatoes or white rice. But on a day if it’s a rest day or I’m doing a less intense workout, I’ll dial back how much of those carbs I eat.
JOE ROGAN: Hmm. Are you, do you take a pre-workout?
TOM SEGURA: I have a pre-workout meal every time. So in the morning I get, I’ve been getting up at 5:30, so I… What? Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: What the f* are you doing, man?
TOM SEGURA: I mean, because I’ve been in the writers room on season two of “Bad Thoughts,” so I’ve been getting up at 5:30 and my pre-workout meal is like muesli, kind of grains with some honey, a little bit of almond butter. And then I have Greek yogurt with a scoop of whey protein. So that’s my pre-workout and after that I go to the gym. And then during the workout I sometimes have an intra-workout shake. Sometimes I just…
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Wow.
TOM SEGURA: But I mean I feel much better doing it that way. And then I eat again about an hour after that workout. So that’s my second meal. Then a few hours later is three and then my fourth one is around six.
JOE ROGAN: So you have your second meal by…
TOM SEGURA: By the time it’s 8 a.m. Maybe 9:30. Yeah. That’s so crazy.
The Sleep Factor
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. What time you going to bed at night?
TOM SEGURA: Well that’s, that’s the key to this whole f*ing thing. That’s the key to the whole thing is that you go to do this. I got to do this. And to do that, I got to do that and to do that I got to get up early. And the only way I can get up early is by staying on top of when I go to bed. When we met I was going to bed at 3 o’clock in the morning.
JOE ROGAN: Normal stuff.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. And I would get up at 11.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Like a normal person.
TOM SEGURA: Like a normal person. And then I would say in the last decade a lot of my bedtime kind of shifted to around midnight. And then it shifted to closer to 11. In the last few months, sticking to this plan, I’ve started to go to bed sometimes at 10, 10:30, which for me is very early. It’s very hard. It’s the biggest challenge for me has been to get to bed.
JOE ROGAN: That’s hard for me. That’s hard. That would be hard.
TOM SEGURA: But I also don’t think I’m going to be getting up at 5:30 forever.
JOE ROGAN: This is just writers room stuff.
TOM SEGURA: This is just writers room stuff.
JOE ROGAN: Normally you get up when, between 7 and 8? That’s reasonable.
TOM SEGURA: That’s reasonable. And I don’t have to go to bed at 10 to do that.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. When my kids are in school, I get up at 7-ish. And then, yeah, usually between 7 and 7:15, depending on when they have to leave and then when they’re not in school. Like right now, today I got up at 8, which is pretty normal.
TOM SEGURA: 8 feels good for me. I got up around 7:30 today.
Morning vs. Night Workouts
JOE ROGAN: If I don’t work out first thing in the morning, though, it used to be I used to like working out at night because in jiu-jitsu I’d always like doing it at night. Morning classes were tough. Tough to get in there early and train. And also you don’t feel warmed up and f*ing feel like everything’s going to get hurt.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: But nighttime I can’t work out anymore. I can’t do that.
TOM SEGURA: I’ve completely changed in this regard. Too busy, I used to say. Well, I will say that I feel like my strongest between 11 and 1, the middle of the day is when if you were like, “draw up an ideal strength time,” that’s when I feel like I’m at my best.
JOE ROGAN: Why? Why do you think that is?
TOM SEGURA: I think…
JOE ROGAN: You’re woke up. Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: You woke up, fired up, you warmed up and you’re ready to go.
JOE ROGAN: And you have food.
TOM SEGURA: I feel good, but I’ve pivoted to now really enjoying these first thing in the morning workouts where I feel like my whole day is set when I have those workouts. And I also realize that if I don’t, I feel so much different throughout that day.
JOE ROGAN: Right. That’s a good factor. One, you get that first big win in the morning. You got it done. You got good momentum going. But also you’re more calm. That’s the big one.
TOM SEGURA: That’s the big one. And focused. Right.
JOE ROGAN: When we did that sober October thing, we were all doing crazy cardio. One thing you said to me that really rang true is it totally silences all that internal chatter.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it does.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. And I think one thing about the writers room is that you have to be alert, you have to be focused.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: You can’t have all this s* like the noise going on and, yeah. So it was a great way to show up to the room is you have that win, you’ve done something hard, and now I’m ready to work. Yeah.
The Power of Cardio
JOE ROGAN: For me, it’s not just a hard workout, but generally has to have some cardio in it.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.
TOM SEGURA: It is different than the weightlifting.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, weightlifting is great. Weightlifting makes you feel better. You feel energized. You feel, “oh, I feel good.” But cardio is like, “I don’t give a f*.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: When I have a really hard cardio session.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t give a f. I don’t give a f what’s going on. Everything’s fine.
TOM SEGURA: I noticed the difference between, because I was doing 45-minute cardio sessions and when I upped it to an hour, the 15-minute difference for me felt like another hour.
JOE ROGAN: Mmm.
TOM SEGURA: Pushing it 15 more minutes was really, really hard.
JOE ROGAN: Well, that’s when it’s hardest. When you’re tired already.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: When you’re extending your cardio capability. That’s f*ing hard, man.
TOM SEGURA: That’s hard. It’s so important. It’s so important to do.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, it’s everything. We wonder why so many people are out of their f*ing minds. That’s a big part of it. They don’t work hard.
Data and Metrics
TOM SEGURA: I got so obsessed with some of these data and metrics about this.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Just the data that people are talking about as people age of, if you’re not lifting and your bone density goes down or your VO2 Max, learning about that stuff and going, if you don’t start thinking about that at a certain age, one day it will be so out of your grasp.
JOE ROGAN: I was just having this conversation with Shane Gillis. I was like, you have to realize, 20 years goes by so fast because I’m 20 years older than him. I’m like, 20 years ago, that happened. It was yesterday.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And all of a sudden I’m 58, and 20 years from now, I’m 78. That’s dead.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That’s almost dead.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And you can either be almost dead and look like RFK Jr. or you could be almost dead and look like Trump. Yeah. It’s kind of the same thing.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: They’re in the same neighborhood and you have a choice. Trump’s only seven or eight years older than RFK Jr.
TOM SEGURA: He doesn’t look like it, no.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And that guy did heroin for 14 f*ing years.
TOM SEGURA: Who did?
JOE ROGAN: RFK Jr.
TOM SEGURA: He did heroin?
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. After his dad was assassinated.
TOM SEGURA: He was a heroin addict?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: No s*.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, when he was young, people give him a hard time about it. Hey, yo, his f*ing dad got shot in front of him.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: His dad, who was running for president, got assassinated. That’s when he was a little kid. Come on. You wouldn’t do heroin? You have no idea what you would do. And his uncle got shot in the head in front of the whole world.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. I mean, not in front of the whole world.
JOE ROGAN: Wasn’t in front of the whole world until several years later.
TOM SEGURA: But he looks incredible.
JOE ROGAN: He looks great. Yeah. He did 20 chin-ups in a row. I saw that at 70, whatever the f* he is.
TOM SEGURA: That’s very impressive.
JOE ROGAN: That’s insane.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Modern science for the win.
TOM SEGURA: Now, yeah. I mean, I think about it all the time because I think the same way. 20 years goes by real like that.
JOE ROGAN: It’s so fast, dude. Before you know it, it’s like there’s guys that never got going with their life or they got distracted with stupid shit and they never really focused on whatever it is they do. Their careers. And then you see them 20 years later, they’re in their late 40s and they’re f*ing scrambling and depressed.
TOM SEGURA: And I’m friends with so many of them, dude.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, it’s a problem.
TOM SEGURA: I’m friends with so many of them. Yeah. Like, I’m in that age pocket where a lot of my friends are in that.
JOE ROGAN: They never did anything.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. And they’re really scrambling.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And they’re really desperate. And then they want help, which is like, “Hey, I can’t f*ing hold your hand.”
TOM SEGURA: Exactly.
JOE ROGAN: You did this to yourself. Like, you should have paid attention to what we were all doing all those years ago.
TOM SEGURA: It’s unnerving too, when some of them, like, I have friends who are like, you’re like, “Dude, we’re in our 40s.”
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And the thing is, the worst part about it is you realize how much of it is dictated by fear. Like, they’re just scared to do things. It’s like someone who’s scared to step in the gym or something. Right. Like, you’re just scared to get your, to take that step, to do something.
JOE ROGAN: Scared to be uncomfortable is what it is.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
Fear of Discomfort
JOE ROGAN: That’s the thing. It’s like most people are scared to be uncomfortable. So they’re scared to sit down in front of the computer and write. They don’t write because they’re scared to be. I don’t, the writing thing is the weirdest one.
TOM SEGURA: Fear of the unknown.
JOE ROGAN: Because I don’t understand why that’s even uncomfortable. But it is. I get it. It is. I avoid it. Sometimes I come home and I’m like, “I really should write.” But I could watch YouTube. And then I’ll f*ing sit in front of the TV. I’m like, “I earned this.” Then I’ll watch YouTube.
TOM SEGURA: Anything to not do it. You look for distractions.
JOE ROGAN: The nights that I come home and I write, though, I always feel way better. I feel better going to bed and I feel better getting up. I’m like, “I did what I was supposed to do.”
TOM SEGURA: Yay.
JOE ROGAN: Yay. Everything’s going good.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, you’re right.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. When I just watch some fing random YouTube video on ancient history. It’s like, “Okay, why am I falling asleep at 2 in the morning and forcing myself to finish this fing hour and 50 minute documentary on Syria?”
TOM SEGURA: I do it f*ing all the time. I’m like, “Here’s another murder doc. I’ll just watch this.”
JOE ROGAN: I don’t watch those. Oh, my God.
Comedy Viewing Habits
TOM SEGURA: It’s all I can do. I found out too, I was, I found it in the writer’s room. And I didn’t realize this until I talked it out. We were talking about, you know, like, because sometimes you’re like, “What about this idea?” Right, right. And someone will be like, “Well, you know, on that episode of like 30 Rock or something.” And I’ll be like, “Oh, I never saw that.” And they go, “You never saw 30 Rock?” And I’m like, “No.” And then they go, “Oh, well, you know, like on the Office.” I never watched the Office. “You didn’t watch the Office?”
And then I started talking. I was like, “Oh, I’ve never watched any of these shows.” And they’re like, “What?” And I go, “Yeah, I guess I just don’t like comedy.” And they’re like, “What are you talking about?” I was like, “Dude, I’ve never seen the Office, 30 Rock, Sonny. All the huge comedies of the last 20 years. I’ve never seen them.”
JOE ROGAN: I haven’t seen them either.
TOM SEGURA: And I’m like, well, I go, my rationing, my thinking is not that I don’t like comedy, it’s that it’s like, you know, I’m on stage all the time. I’m doing comedy. My friends are comedians. We’re talking comedy. When I get home and I want to watch something, I don’t want to watch that. I want to watch something else.
JOE ROGAN: I’m exactly, that’s exactly how I think of it.
TOM SEGURA: I want to watch dramas, thrillers.
JOE ROGAN: Something’s interesting.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Stranger Things.
TOM SEGURA: So I just end up never. And they’re like, “This is pretty crazy, though. You’re in a room of comedy writers and you’ve never watched an episode of comedy.” Yeah, I guess that is kind of weird.
JOE ROGAN: I watched them when I was on one. You know, I’d watch other sitcoms to see what they were doing differently.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Because it’s kind of a new thing for me.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that makes sense.
JOE ROGAN: But after I was off News Radio, I swore off sitcoms, too. But then I did start watching some of them with my family. One of them I watched that I really used to shit on, and I was wrong, is the Big Bang Theory. Really f*ing good show, man.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, it was a massive hit.
JOE ROGAN: I was like, “How is this stupid show a massive hit?” But it was because I had seen clips online that were like retakes that they did without the laugh track. But if, you know, if you ever worked on a sitcom, you know what retakes are. Retakes are brutal. Like, you didn’t get it right. Or the writers decided to change something, or there’s whatever. For whatever reason, you do a bunch of them after the audience leaves.
And, you know, so I saw those without the laugh track, and I was like, “What is this? This is not funny. Yeah, this is terrible. I’m like, what is this? Like, mundane, boring, f*ing drone you to sleep.” Then I watched the show, the actual show itself. I was like, “Oh, this is a really well written sitcom.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And it’s interesting because the main guy’s autistic and he’s totally socially retarded.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And it’s funny, though. It’s, but it’s all about nerds. It’s like, it’s a good show.
TOM SEGURA: Something that has that, something gets that popular. Like, this has to have something.
JOE ROGAN: But that’s stuff that I watch with my family. Like, there’s certain shows that I only watch with my family.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, that’s one of them.
Kids and Rewatching
TOM SEGURA: You know what just happened with our kids is they, they start, you know, they had their movies that they always watched. And little kids have just a capacity to rewatch the shit. You’re like, “Jesus Christ.”
JOE ROGAN: I watched Frozen like 80 times.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, my God, so many f*ing times. We watched it.
JOE ROGAN: “Let it go.”
TOM SEGURA: We watched Home Alone f*ing 145 times.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: Which is, a lot of people do. But then all of a sudden we were like, “Oh, here’s the Simpsons.” And what we did was we started with episode one of the Simpsons.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, wow.
TOM SEGURA: And what I was so surprised by, because I was taken by just how, how good the old one. Like we’re watching season one, season two, the really old ones, where everything, where it took 18 months to produce an episode. You know, they had to hand draw everything. The writing and the jokes in them are so good and so funny. And you’re, I’m watching these little dudes get the jokes and they’re, and it’s really funny. I mean, it’s really good. But we start from the beginning.
JOE ROGAN: How many episodes is the Simpsons? Still on the air, right?
TOM SEGURA: I think so. It’s like season f*ing 42 or some shit.
JOE ROGAN: That is so wild. And no one gets old.
TOM SEGURA: No. Right.
JOE ROGAN: And characters are just cartoons.
TOM SEGURA: And now they can do them timely because of technology. So now they can produce it in a week or something.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, that’s crazy.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that’s crazy because they don’t have to hand draw.
JOE ROGAN: Well, didn’t they farming all out to f*ing.
TOM SEGURA: I think so.
JOE ROGAN: South America or some shit? Probably.
TOM SEGURA: I’m sure.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, I think they did.
TOM SEGURA: There’s some Indian.
JOE ROGAN: I think they taught some Asian people out of how to draw, how to do it.
TOM SEGURA: And there’s something also that you appreciate about the old animation. That’s cool.
JOE ROGAN: Clunky.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. It doesn’t exist in the, but it’s still, it’s so funny.
South Park and Animation
JOE ROGAN: The first South Park. The first South Park was super clunky.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: “What would Bar and Boitano do?”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they also embraced that it’s supposed to look this certain way, right? Like, they, that whole thing was like, it was, they embrace that. Like, the look is not slick.
JOE ROGAN: Right?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: It’s also, you can get away with so much more when it’s not even remotely realistic.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like the time that gay teacher stuffed Paris Hilton up his ass. Like, how could you do that on any other show? Imagine if you said, “We’re going to do South Park but with CGI and real people.” What the f* are you talking about? Kenny’s going to die in every episode, violently. And everyone’s going to laugh. What?
TOM SEGURA: No. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: What? His brain splattered all over the concrete.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, my God.
JOE ROGAN: “You killed Kenny.”
TOM SEGURA: Kenny.
JOE ROGAN: What?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. It has to be.
JOE ROGAN: No, it has to be fake.
TOM SEGURA: Fake. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And it has to be fake kids.
TOM SEGURA: Totally.
JOE ROGAN: Because kids are kind of, they bounce off stuff. They get hurt. It’s kind of funny.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, they do.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. They just f*ing, they don’t get hurt as easy. When they get hurt, it’s not that big a deal. They bang into things. Whereas an old person falls in the bathtub, they break a hip, and they’re dead in a year.
TOM SEGURA: My youngest slow falls all the time, and we’re like, “What the f* is going on?” And he’s never hurt.
JOE ROGAN: He’s practicing.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. He’s just like.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Well, they’re f*ing made out of, they’re flexible.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: All pliable and shit.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. The way they even, like the way a kid can sit. And you’re like, “How are your legs doing that?”
Yoga and Flexibility
JOE ROGAN: After a while, shit gets stiff.
TOM SEGURA: It gets real stiff.
JOE ROGAN: Do you ever do any yoga?
TOM SEGURA: I did. I haven’t in a while.
JOE ROGAN: Remember when we did it? That was our first challenge, right?
TOM SEGURA: I do, and that was awesome. And then a few, like, a year or two ago, I started doing some yoga here, and it was so challenging. I was like, “F*, this is really hard.”
JOE ROGAN: Was it the same kind or different?
TOM SEGURA: Just, no, it wasn’t. It wasn’t a hot yoga. It was just, you know, you’re going through all the positions. I don’t know how to even describe it.
JOE ROGAN: Poses.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, all the poses. And I was like, man, I was shaking in certain poses, and it was really challenging, and I have not done it in a while. I probably should do it again.
JOE ROGAN: Was it the same kind of yoga, though? Were the poses different?
TOM SEGURA: No. The same kind of poses? Yeah. Just not hot. Hot’s the way to go. Hot’s rad.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s harder.
TOM SEGURA: It is. I remember I did do a hot yoga here in Austin, like, in July. I was like, this isn’t much different than outside right now. And I remember feeling so relieved when I saw somebody tap out of the room before me. I was like, I can’t tap out first. Just watching people, and some guy was like, I got to get out. I was like, all right, I’m going to get out of here in a minute.
The Challenge of Hot Yoga
JOE ROGAN: I remember the first time I did it. I was like, I can’t believe how hard this is. I can’t believe all these little old ladies are walking into this thing with this foam mat. And I’m like, you guys think you’re working out?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Meanwhile, they’re working out way harder than me. I was literally getting strangled. And it was easier. I was going to Jiu Jitsu and I was getting f*ing arm barred. And that was easier.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Then going and fing stretching my feet out with these little old ladies and seeing like how these mother… Like, you’ll see somebody who’s like, physicality is not like that. Note, like, they look fit, let’s say, but you’re not like, holy s, look at this person.
TOM SEGURA: Right. And the way that they’re holding themselves up on their hands and their whole body’s sitting on their knees are on their elbows and you’re like, how the f* are you holding yourself like this?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Very impressive. It’s a weird, impressive thing that you only know it’s impressive when you try to do it.
Why Everyone Should Try Martial Arts
TOM SEGURA: This is why I have this theory that everybody should try things like that. Jiu Jitsu, a boxing class. Even if you go one time, just once, right? To have just so you have an idea of what you don’t know.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: Because like, every dude thinks he can fight. And I’m like, I know my limits so much in that regard because I’ve been in classes, I’ve done classes, so I know so much. I’m not an expert, but I know how much I don’t know. Like, I’ve rolled on. I’ve done jiu jitsu classes, I’ve done boxing classes. And I’m like, oh, these guys can f*ing kill me. But you don’t know that before you do it.
JOE ROGAN: Right?
TOM SEGURA: You don’t know how hard that s* is. You don’t know. I mean, like, boxing is a funny one because people think they’re like, I could throw a punch. You’re like, you don’t even have the fundamentals of how to throw a punch. You don’t even know how to throw a punch technically.
JOE ROGAN: Not only that, how many can you throw before you’re totally exhausted?
TOM SEGURA: The exhaustion is real crazy.
JOE ROGAN: How many you got in your tank? You got 10 punches.
TOM SEGURA: People like throw. They throw haymakers and they think they’re throwing it. You’re like, that’s not even a punch.
JOE ROGAN: Well, it is if it lands, I guess, but it’s not like, it’s definitely not a punch that would really have that much of an effect on somebody who knows what they’re doing. I mean, you could probably land that on someone who also doesn’t fight.
Action vs. Reaction
JOE ROGAN: You can land a lot of things on people if they don’t know you’re going to punch them. That’s why sucker punches work. Whenever I used to teach martial arts, one of the first things I would tell people is you have to realize that action is so much faster than reaction.
So the reason why a sucker punch works is because you have no idea that this person is going to do it. And then by the time they’re doing it, it’s too late.
TOM SEGURA: It’s too late for you.
JOE ROGAN: You don’t react in time. That’s why people get punched like that. I’m like, you can’t ever let anybody get close enough. You can’t ever let anybody that’s threatening you get in a position where they think, like you think that they could hit you and you don’t know it’s coming.
TOM SEGURA: Right.
JOE ROGAN: Because it can happen too fast.
TOM SEGURA: So that’s why you got to. You have to have your awareness to that somebody approaching you is already a threat.
JOE ROGAN: 100%. Yeah. Like, remember the time I got in that stupid thing on Fear Factor?
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: With that guy, that was 100% my thought process. So, like, this guy could punch me in any second.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. So you have to act.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I had to grab him. But it was one of those moments where I was like, all right, this is a very angry person that’s already irrational. What’s most irrational? Sucker punching the host.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
Reality TV and Social Media Culture
JOE ROGAN: And also, this is like, you got to think of reality TV. What is everyone trying to do? Everyone’s trying to go viral. They’re all trying to have a clip that gets played over and over again. They’re all trying to get everybody to watch the show. So they’re all acting in the most outrageous way possible.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I think it’s like, between that and social media, it’s been like, poison in our civility, in our culture. The way people communicate, the way people view, like, famous people is totally different now. Because you used to be famous because you were Amy Winehouse. Like, oh, I love your music. Now it’s, you’re just famous for whatever the f* reason.
TOM SEGURA: You could be famous for just acting a fool. Like, just being a complete dipshit.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Being some guy who’s famous for stealing people’s hats.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Just run up and grab people’s hats everywhere. That’s your TikTok.
TOM SEGURA: Or, yeah, you go up to people and, like, you whisper in their ear when they’re at, they’re at, like, a Home Depot.
JOE ROGAN: Speaking of which, did you see what Andre Arlovski got into it with these f*ing influencers? I bet they didn’t know who he is.
TOM SEGURA: Yes, I did see a clip of that.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I bet they didn’t know who he is. They started f*ing with former UFC heavyweight champion Andre Arlovski.
TOM SEGURA: Not a good move.
JOE ROGAN: He’s all. First of all, he’s fing gigantic. And he’s one of the baddest motherfers ever. That guy just recently retired from the UFC or was released, I should say. He’s not even done fighting. He started fighting. He won the UFC title, I think, in 2005.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That’s 20 f*ing years ago. And the guy was still beating people that are, like, elite fighters just a few years ago.
TOM SEGURA: And that’s who you go pick on.
The Evolution of Fighting Knowledge
JOE ROGAN: You go pick on that guy. Good luck. I think he beat Travis Brown in, like, 2016 or 17. Travis Brown was super legit, real dangerous.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Arlovski was a bad motherf*er, dude.
TOM SEGURA: I went to a Travis Brown fight once with you.
JOE ROGAN: Travis Brown was a bad motherfer. Travis Brown completely changed the way people look at the clinch because he elbowed so many people into oblivion. If you got a hold of a single on that guy and your head was right there or a double, anything where you’re trying to take him down against the cage and your head is right there, that fing dude. Boom.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: We literally called him Travis Brown elbows dude. Because everybody does it. But Travis Brown did it better than anybody.
TOM SEGURA: That in those, those forearm shots that people take, you’re like…
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s brutal. It’s such a brutal sport. It’s so crazy.
TOM SEGURA: That is so fing crazy. Yeah. I would not f with somebody. I mean, I don’t f* with anybody, but, like, if I saw that guy be the last guy, I’d be like…
JOE ROGAN: So many people out there in the world now know how to fight. When I was a kid, almost no one knew how to fight. There was like, wrestlers. Never f with wrestlers. And there was like, oh, the guy, he’s golden gloves boxer. Oh, don’t f with him.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, everybody knew who you could and couldn’t f with. Now everybody knows something. And kids, they learn just by what. They’ll watch a Charles Oliveira fight, and they’ll practice in their fing living room. And next thing you know, they know how to do a real triangle.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, you can watch a lot of s* on YouTube videos and learn without even taking classes. And kids are, like, learning. Yeah, some athletic kids. Like, a kid that maybe is really good at baseball, really good at soccer or something like that. You teach him some moves pretty quick, and he’s going to know how to deliver it.
Kids Learning Jiu Jitsu
TOM SEGURA: My oldest does it twice a week. And he’s been, he’s an athletic kid. He’s got some proficiency, and he keeps moving up.
JOE ROGAN: It’s going to kill you. Well, he’ll have to start…
TOM SEGURA: We also start. We f* around because he’s two little boys. This dude will immediately, like, go, just put me in an arm bar. And I’m like, yo. And I’m like, and the only thing that, like, saves me is that I’m still so much bigger.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: And stronger. But I’m like…
JOE ROGAN: Might have to start taking classes.
TOM SEGURA: Listen, the clock is ticking when he’s like, 16 or 17.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, no, no, no.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that would be a problem.
JOE ROGAN: Real problem. Well, that’s also a weird problem, too, because all of a sudden, you can do things to men. Like, I remember thinking that when I was, like, 16, 17, when I was competing.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: I also knocked it. Beat men up. I was like, this is crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. This is weird because all my life, men were terrifying. Like men where men get angry. Men will hit you, you run, run from the men. And now I’m like, I can f* this grown a man up. It was crazy. It was a crazy transition.
TOM SEGURA: I can see his wheels turning, right?
JOE ROGAN: So he’s going to know he can do it now, so he’s going to want to do it. Come on, dad.
Yeah, come on, dad.
JOE ROGAN: Come on, dad. What are you going to do, dad? Yeah, like, you’re fing grounded. F you. I’m not grounded. I’ll choke you out. What? You’re in the f*ing hallway. You can’t even get away.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And he’s 17 now. He probably weighs a buck 80, and they kind of ripped. He’s got abs. They get embarrassed.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, yeah. They call us and they’re like, hey, he’s really good. They’re like, he’s really got a skill at this.
JOE ROGAN: Well, Jiu Jitsu is. Athleticism is massive, but also intelligence. It’s hard to be dumb and get really good at Jiu Jitsu.
TOM SEGURA: He’s a smart kid. The other thing that’s very different. And I think you see this when you have more than one kid. So, you know, you have two kids or more, you start to see that, like, oh, some qualities in people’s personalities are innate qualities, right?
JOE ROGAN: Yes.
TOM SEGURA: Like you just. Especially because, you know, you have your one, you’re like, oh, this is what every. This is what a kid’s like. And then you’re like, oh, the other kids, not like this. They have these other qualities.
JOE ROGAN: Right?
TOM SEGURA: And one thing about him that we. You just pick up on by being his parent is that he’s like, he’s very competitive. Very, very competitive. And so he’s intelligent, he’s competitive, and he’s athletic. And so you go like, oh, yeah, he’s just very driven, you know.
JOE ROGAN: He should probably compete. Because when you’re young, if you learn how to compete when you’re young, oh, my God, it has so many benefits for the rest of your life because it’s so scary. And then you overcome it. And if you could become successful at it, you kind of feel like you could be successful at anything.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Because you’ve been successful at something that’s scary.
TOM SEGURA: Exactly.
JOE ROGAN: He got into. Get him in tournaments, man.
TOM SEGURA: He got into running.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, boy.
The Competitive Spirit
TOM SEGURA: So like a couple years ago, I was getting ready, we were going to do a 5K. I was way out of shape. I was like, I got to start running. So the first thing I did is I ran a mile and he tried to run with. I mean, he was like, you know, let’s say like 7 years old or something. And I ran the mile in like, I don’t know, 9:30. It was. I mean, I was dying, right? I was like, oh, my God.
He couldn’t quite keep up with me in this one mile run. He’s a seven year old kid this year. He ran two miles in 12:38.
JOE ROGAN: Whoa.
TOM SEGURA: So he ran six and six because.
JOE ROGAN: He didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t good at running.
TOM SEGURA: He just. And he would get up, be like, I’m going to go train. I’m like, oh, Jesus Christ, you got a psycho. He’s a psycho.
JOE ROGAN: He’s a psycho.
TOM SEGURA: He’s running up hills and sh*t. And I was. He’s like, come with me. And so like, I have an adult with me. He’s just running up and down this hill over and over and over. Yeah, he’s like very. But it’s self. It’s not me going, right, you got to go run.
JOE ROGAN: Right?
TOM SEGURA: You know, it’s inside his head. It’s in his head.
JOE ROGAN: Wow.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: If I was a coach, I’d be like, get that kid young. Yeah, that’s what we want.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. What you want is an intelligent psycho.
TOM SEGURA: Mm.
JOE ROGAN: You know, intelligent, driven, hyper competitive. Psycho.
TOM SEGURA: Hyper competitive. The other kid, my youngest, will walk up a flight of stairs. He goes, my legs hurt. I’m like, what? He goes, I want to go rest. I’m like, he just walked up a f*ing flight of stairs. He’s like, I know, but my legs are killing me.
JOE ROGAN: Like, completely different. It’s so funny that, that, that is such the case. Yeah, it’s such the case. It’s interesting because there is this thought of like, what a personality is. Like, where does it all come from? It’s like a combination of so many different things. It’s a combination of nature, nurture, genetics.
TOM SEGURA: It’s everything. Right.
JOE ROGAN: It’s also being exposed to things that bring that out of you.
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, like, imagine if he had never been exposed to the running, never done jiu jitsu, never done anything.
TOM SEGURA: Then what happens? Yeah, the other kid, he’s like. You could tell he has, he has, he has like a comedian’s mindset. Yeah, he’s a complainer. You know, like every, like funny person complains.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah.
The Comedian Kid
TOM SEGURA: Like the other day I was in the writers room, I ate something. I was like in the writers room. But I was. My stomach was, like, f*ing me up all day. I was on a toilet. I was, like. It was, like, brutal to get through the day. I get home, and he’s in my room watching TV. And I lay down, I go, hey, can you turn that off? Because, like, I want to rest. Like, my stomach is bothering me. And he goes, “Oh, you want to snooze?”
JOE ROGAN: How old is he, seven?
TOM SEGURA: He goes, “You want to snooze because I almost f*ing threw up today no matter what.” He goes, “Yeah, my stomach’s been.” I go, dude, I’ve been on the toilet for, like, three hours.
JOE ROGAN: Please.
TOM SEGURA: He goes, “All right, why don’t you have your little snooze? I’ll go out here.” He’s, like, very animated, you know, hilarious. And then he saw me wear a suit. This was insane. He saw me wear a suit, and I’m, like, walking out of the house. And he goes, “Hey.” I go, what? He goes, “Where’s my suit?” And I go, what?
And then. I’m not kidding you. He goes, “I look like a f*ing ahole.” I go, what are you talking about? He goes, “You’re in a suit. I look like an.” He goes, “Get me a suit.”
JOE ROGAN: And I go, oh, my God.
TOM SEGURA: “You don’t need a suit.” And he goes, “Yes, I do. Why do you get to look like that? I look like a.” I was like, all right, bro. He’s always.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, he’s always, like, complaining.
JOE ROGAN: That’s hilarious.
TOM SEGURA: And it’s just funny because that would.
JOE ROGAN: Be an amazing sitcom scene.
TOM SEGURA: I know.
JOE ROGAN: If you had a kid, like, that would be. “I look like a.” Yeah, that would be an amazing scene.
TOM SEGURA: We call him Joe Pesci because he’s always talking like that. He’s always bothered, you know, he’s always hot. And you’re like, this is not a big deal, man. “Yes, it is.” That’s hilarious. Yeah, he’s just fired up about sh*t.
JOE ROGAN: That’s hilarious.
TOM SEGURA: But that’s also in him, right? I mean, it’s part of his personality.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s weird. It’s like, kids get something from you, right? They get some genetics, and then they kind of get whatever that gift the universe gives.
TOM SEGURA: Totally.
JOE ROGAN: Whereas, like, that kid is not like, either one of us. Like, where’d you come from?
TOM SEGURA: Christina thinks that every time he’s, like, fired up about something, I’m like, look at this kid. She goes, “That is you.” I’m like, no. And she goes, “Yes.”
Sober October Memories
JOE ROGAN: Well, you have a little of that in you. Yeah, you definitely do. I remember one of the most impressive things about our sober October thing was you got the flu, and so you were out of it for, like, a couple of days. And so the moment you got back where you felt good, you ran, like, 15 miles in a day.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.
JOE ROGAN: We were all going nuts.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I was, because I was like, I can’t be, like, dead, dead last, you know? I mean, like, I was like, I just can’t.
JOE ROGAN: I was in the gym at the old studio with Ari, and Ari, it’s.
TOM SEGURA: Like, could I use your gym?
JOE ROGAN: Like, of course. He’s like, after the podcast, I’m going to work out. I got to get my numbers in. And so I was hanging out with him while he was rowing, and he’s got a f*ing six pack.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I was like, this is crazy. Go, Ari. You have a six pack now. I go, you’re ripped. I go, you look great. He’s like, oh, thanks. And he was just f*ing rowing. He rode for a full hour, man, with a chest trap on, like, racking up his numbers.
TOM SEGURA: It was the same voice in his head going, don’t be dead last. We all knew your crazy a was going to be going, like, totally psycho. So we were just like, we can’t be dead last of the rest of us.
JOE ROGAN: Ari was trying to beat me. Yeah, 100%. I know he was.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, but you were, like, pissing blood. We were like, this guy’s a little too crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Well, I decided one day to just, like, take it to, like. I wanted to see, like, what can I do? That was the day I did seven hours of cardio. I think I’d set off my alarm in my gym from my sweat.
TOM SEGURA: Jesus.
JOE ROGAN: I set off the fire alarm from.
TOM SEGURA: Just being so hot.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, there’s a video of it. There’s a video on Instagram of the puddles on the ground are the most preposterous thing. I sweat puddles.
TOM SEGURA: I think your wife too, right? Because my Christina was like, she can’t do this anymore. She was like, what are you doing? Like, you’re not spending any time with your family. You’re just, like, so obsessed with this thing.
Finding Balance
JOE ROGAN: It’s like I. I remit an old friend.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That’s what it was like for me. It was like, oh, I forgot that guy’s in there.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t necessarily like that guy. Yeah, he scares me. It’s like, I don’t. Like, something scares me. Not. Not like, not being dramatic. This is what it is. That. That could derail your life. So you could. That obsession could take over again with something, with anything. And then I won’t be doing anything but that thing like that.
It’s one of the reasons why I like to do a lot of stuff, because I don’t want one obsession that. Yeah, I don’t want that one.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That brain to focus on. It’s not good for mental health. It’s really good for success. Like, if you’re really going to get really good at one thing, that’s the thing. But for overall happiness, I don’t find that to be appealing. I don’t like that feeling. Like, that sober October feeling was kind of crazy.
TOM SEGURA: This is kind of why, like, I feel like I. I’m trying to embrace a lifestyle that’s not. That’s accessible but not dramatic. Like, I could go and go. I’m going to do, you know, two and a half hours at the gym every day.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: And I’m sure my results would. Would show.
JOE ROGAN: Right. I want to look like Iron Man or whoever.
TOM SEGURA: But the. My problem is, like. Is like. It’s like, not that. Doesn’t feel like I’m going to run out at some point. Be like, this is unsustainable.
JOE ROGAN: So I’d rather it’s going to take from your other things.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, exactly. I got. I got to do it where, like, I’ll do an hour and change what, you know, of training and then try to dial in eating. And like, that’s. That’s. You can keep that. Yes, that’s. That’s sustainable, right?
JOE ROGAN: Exactly. Yeah. But it’s like, what are you trying. It depends on what you’re trying to do. It’s like, we both have families. We both have a lot. You know, there’s a lot of people in our lives. You can’t just be a maniac and focus on one thing. You can’t ten out, like, Gordon Ryan. That’s his Abu Dhabi belt up there.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, yeah.
The Cost of Combat Sports
JOE ROGAN: That guy trains 365 days a year.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He doesn’t take f you for Christmas, f you for your birthday. Oh, it’s Easter. F* you.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Well, that’s how he became the best of all time. Like, if you really want to do something, that’s the second. But he doesn’t have kids. He’s not married. He’s only, you know, now he’s 30. But he did all this when he was in his mid-20s.
TOM SEGURA: That’s also the age to be that obsessed with something.
JOE ROGAN: Exactly. Especially if you want to do this one thing that everybody else is working really hard too. You got to figure out how to separate yourself and it’s like if you’re running an ultramarathon and you have 200 miles to run and you take time and you’re running and you’re running at a really good pace, maybe even a faster pace than other people. But then you take naps. You take a nap for an hour or two hours or three hours, and then you say, look, it’ll be better this way. And then I’ll be revived. I’m still really ahead.
That guy who’s not going to take any naps is going to beat you because he’s just going to keep running. He’s going to keep running and before you know it, a lot of these ultras, the guy who wins, they win by like 10 hours. They win by nutty time. Courtney Dewalter, the lady who was on our podcast once, she ran the Bigfoot 240, I think, and I think she was like eight hours ahead of the second place.
TOM SEGURA: I kind of don’t understand the mentality that the ultra people have. I’m like, I don’t get it. How do you actually get there?
The Ultra-Endurance Mindset
JOE ROGAN: Well, you have to be a complete nut and then you have to want to test yourself to the point of almost death because that’s what these people are doing. They’re running like Goggins. He ran one of these fing things, got rhabdo. So rhabdomyolysis was when you worked out too hard, your body can’t recover and you start pissing brown real bad. Your kidneys are breaking down. He had to go to the hospital. Went to the hospital, got out of the hospital, completed the race and then he did like 100 push-ups. Is fing like this. He’s getting to the door of death. Yeah, just the door.
TOM SEGURA: And that’s how he feels normal.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he feels alive by getting his body to. And he’s 50, by the way.
TOM SEGURA: Crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he’s a maniac.
Jake Paul vs. Anthony Joshua
TOM SEGURA: Did you watch, by the way, did you watch the Anthony Joshua Jake Paul?
JOE ROGAN: I did.
TOM SEGURA: Of course I did.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, I would have guessed. Yeah, I had to watch it, the spectacle. Look, that guy did great. For someone who’s been boxing for less than a decade, he has had no real professional opponents other than Tommy Fury that were legitimate world class boxers.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t even remember what happened in the Tommy Fury.
JOE ROGAN: He lost a close decision, but it was a good fight. It was a good fight though. He’s a good boxer. If he wasn’t a YouTuber, people would be way more impressed with him. The problem is he was a famous kid and then no one took him seriously.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. But, oh, then he started too with more spectacle-ish fights. People were like, oh, this is you. He fought, you know, Nate Robinson like a basketball player.
JOE ROGAN: But the thing is, he knocked Nate Robinson.
TOM SEGURA: He knocked him the f* out.
JOE ROGAN: And it’s the way he did it that I was trying to tell people. I’m like, no, no, that was skillful. It’s like there’s boxing matches where you see two guys just slugging it out. One guy lands a punch and yeah, he landed a good punch. What Jake did is he slid back and landed a punch. Yeah, it’s the athleticism along with the intelligence, the technique. I’m like, he’s not even doing it that long.
And he’s also hyper competitive, even though he’s wealthy. You know, you would assume that wealth would take away your drive for competition. Yeah, he’s also nuts. Right. Just the fact that he’s willing to fight the two-time heavyweight champion, former Olympic gold medalist, a guy who’s gigantic in his prime, built like a Greek God.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, and you’re going to stand and he’s a one-punch killer. And you’re going to stand in front of that guy. And he avoided shots till the sixth round. He just started getting tired.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, his movement in that fight was crazy.
JOE ROGAN: It was very good.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it was very good. He was really keeping him moving around the whole ring and then you can’t.
JOE ROGAN: Afford to get tired. That’s the thing is he gets tired in a lot of his fights in the later rounds. You should really sort that out because if he did, if he had a much bigger gas tank, like if he was training with some of these elite world class strength and conditioning coaches and just worked on his cardio, he’d be beating way more guys.
TOM SEGURA: You think so?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, 100%. But it’s like what he’s doing is learning how to box and he’s boxing. He’s training hard for sure. But to get that world class gas tank, you need a Sam Colavita. You need a Nick Kherson. You need these plyometrics experts that are got heart rate monitors on you and they’re checking when your recovery is ready and go. You need guys monitoring your recovery, monitoring your heart rate variability, your VO2 max.
TOM SEGURA: I couldn’t believe.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t. And maybe he is, maybe I’m wrong, maybe he is doing that. But whatever it is, it’s not enough. It’s not enough because in so many of his fights, like the Nate Diaz fight, he gets tired in the later rounds. In the beginning. Look, if that guy is only fighting three rounds, he’s a f*ing handful. He’s really good.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He clocked Anthony Joshua. He did hit him with a big right hand.
TOM SEGURA: He did.
JOE ROGAN: Didn’t have any effect.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Because he’s, you know, really. He weighed 216, but he doesn’t even have abs. Right. At 216, he could easily weigh 190. I’m sure he could make 190.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Anthony Joshua’s gigantic.
TOM SEGURA: So big.
JOE ROGAN: He’s so big. He’s so much bigger. So, of course, his punch that he knocks Tyron Woodley out cold with, Joshua just eats it.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Because he’s a giant. Yeah, he’s a f*ing giant, man. So big, dude. He’s so big.
The Devastating Right Hand
TOM SEGURA: I give Jake so much credit for stepping into that ring, bro.
JOE ROGAN: He got hit with a bomb, a right hand bomb.
TOM SEGURA: When he got hit with that, too. I don’t know if enough has been made of the fact that, I mean, it was absolutely devastating, but the fact that he had awareness immediately to go. He looked at it.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, s*.
TOM SEGURA: Wow. It wasn’t like.
JOE ROGAN: I think he went into that fight knowing that was probably going to happen and ultimately the big win for him would be that he was even willing to do it and that he could do well for a little bit.
TOM SEGURA: For a little bit.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And then eventually just deal with the fact that Anthony Joshua is going to kineko a bomb.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And breaks his jaw in two places.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he’s f*ed.
JOE ROGAN: His jaw’s wired shut now. He lost teeth.
TOM SEGURA: See? I mean, he made it to the sixth round.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Pretty wild.
JOE ROGAN: Did they put your teeth back in? When they pop out like that, are they gone forever?
TOM SEGURA: I don’t know. I don’t know, but it’s just wired shut for like six weeks now.
The Price of Fighting
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, you got to eat nothing but protein shakes, bro. It’s a. I mean, look, it’s a crazy world. The thing is that I would hope that he recognizes is right now he’s doing great. And he’s only. Whatever he is 28, I think.
TOM SEGURA: Is he 28?
JOE ROGAN: I think he is. How old is Jake Paul? He’s young.
TOM SEGURA: God d*.
JOE ROGAN: And he’s probably made 300 million-plus in his boxing career. How old is Jake Paul? He’ll be 29. And look at that. So he’s 28 years old. 29 next month. Don’t do this very long. Because there’s a price that you pay that is not worth it. It’s not worth it. And that price is depression. Deep depression, a severe brain imbalance that’s going to lead you to addiction. It leads so many people to impulsive behavior. So many people become gambling addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics, after their fighting career.
Yeah, it’s. You could only take so much. And at a certain. That one that he got from Joshua.
TOM SEGURA: Ooh.
JOE ROGAN: You know, say if you have a punch card, you have so many punches that you can get in your life, which I believe you do. I believe there’s a certain number. That one was like ten punches. Yeah, that was. Yeah, it was a lot of concussions in that one punch.
TOM SEGURA: Sure.
JOE ROGAN: That was real damage. If someone’s breaking your jaw in two places, the inside of your f*ing head is. There’s a lot of damage going on in there too.
TOM SEGURA: F*, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Just don’t do it for. I know too many guys that, they wanted to be cool guys, and they kept sparring deep into their 30s and 40s, they would go to the gym and do hard spar. Not jujitsu boxing. Boxing, sparring. So they’re just standing in front of each other, slugging it out. They get bloody noses. They’d laugh about it and think it was cool. Then they go about their day.
And I’m like, man, that’s going to get you. Because at a certain point in time, the f*ing depression is unavoidable. It just creeps in. You just every. You just. Oh, you don’t feel good. You just don’t feel good. All the time, just. Oh, their whole day is like that. You know that feeling when you’re hungover, that’s their life.
TOM SEGURA: That’s.
JOE ROGAN: No.
TOM SEGURA: That’s no way to live. And it’s.
JOE ROGAN: It varies. Some guys don’t get that.
TOM SEGURA: And he definitely doesn’t have to do that.
JOE ROGAN: Not anymore.
TOM SEGURA: No.
JOE ROGAN: If he could do anything, that guy can do anything. If he could do what he did in boxing, he could do anything. Just don’t do it forever. Yeah, it’s just one of them things where it’s the price you pay is eventually not worth it.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Awesome that he did. I mean, awesome that he. He made. He probably made a hundred million dollars Saturday night.
TOM SEGURA: Jesus Christ. That’s so much.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t know what he got paid. But also, it’s probably worth another hundred million in publicity easily, because people loved watching him get knocked out. They did also have to say, that guy has f*ing balls. And he does. He earned it. He earned it. That guy has ever. If he doesn’t have your respect after that fight, because a lot of people, are you going to fight Gervonta Davis? He’s only 135 pounds. He’s like, okay, I’ll fight a guy 110 pounds bigger.
TOM SEGURA: Now. You couldn’t pay me. You could not pay me enough to do that.
JOE ROGAN: Guy’s got balls. He’s got nothing but respect for me.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Nothing but respect. Just don’t. Don’t do it forever. There’s. There comes a time where the cost is not worth it, because some people never return. That’s what you have to understand. There’s people that get out. If you listen to Randy Couture talk now talks fine. He’s great. He was knocked out a bunch of times. Chuck Liddell knocked him out.
TOM SEGURA: They knew when to dip out.
JOE ROGAN: Knew when to dip out. And, you know, Randy also, like, really didn’t even begin his UFC career until his late 30s, if I’m correct. He was either 35. It might have been 34, or 35 when he had his first UFC fight. I was there. That was in, like, the middle of nowhere in the summer.
TOM SEGURA: That’s pretty old, right?
JOE ROGAN: Well, he was an elite wrestler. He was an elite Greco Roman wrestler, and then he got into MMA late in life, back in the time, the days when you’d be able to wear shoes, they used to wrestle. Wear wrestling shoes when they fought.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, wow.
JOE ROGAN: The early days. Used to be able to wear shoes, but, like, he’s fine. There’s a bunch of guys that are still fine, but there’s a bunch of guys that are really struggling. Really struggling. Don’t get there. Don’t get there.
TOM SEGURA: Scary.
Knowing When to Walk Away
JOE ROGAN: Dip out before that happens. Know when to dip out and have friends that tell you when to dip out. You got to. You have a coach, a coach that doesn’t say, “Well, let’s give it one more shot.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, don’t. That’s not. You only want to be doing that if you’re trying to be the best in the world. That’s my opinion. I mean, there’s a lot of guys who are never going to be the best in the world, and they still love competing, but. And that’s great, too. And there’s a lot of guys that make a living doing it, and they make good money and, you know, and they feed their families. And I’m not saying.
But if you have an option, I don’t think you should do unless you’re a complete maniac. Absolutely obsessed. You want to do it more than you want to do anything else in life. Because if you don’t feel like that, there’s a guy out there that does.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And that guy’s got you up.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That guy’s going to come and take your soul away from you. I always think of Mike Tyson when he was 20.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I was like, if you’re not that dedicated, you shouldn’t be fighting, because Mike Tyson’s not one person. There’s a bunch of those guys out there. There’s Alex Pereira. There’s all these. All these guys out there in the world that are that obsessed. You know, there’s all these Islam Makhachevs and Ilya Toporias. There’s these guys out there in the.
TOM SEGURA: World that are just driven to do it.
JOE ROGAN: And if you want to fight, if you really want to fight, if you run into one of those guys and you’re not doing what they’re doing, you’re going to get tuned up.
Alex Pereira’s Power
TOM SEGURA: Alex. I didn’t realize how big he is, Giant. I did not realize that until the photo of him next to somebody I know, like a friend. And I was like, there’s a lot.
JOE ROGAN: Of chatter about him fighting in the heavyweight division now.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: There’s a lot of chatter about it. There’s a lot of chatter about him perhaps even fighting. Cyril. Gone. I don’t know how much of this is true. I haven’t talked to Dana about it, but it’s not an illogical move. He’s 240 pounds right now. Two hundred and forty plus.
TOM SEGURA: And he’s like, what, six, four, six.
JOE ROGAN: Six, five, six, six, four, six, five. And don’t make no mistake about it. That guy can knock out heavyweights, no doubt about it. He hits harder than anyone they’ve ever recorded ever on that stupid punch machine. Yeah. You know that thing.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Francis Ngannou got like a 129 on it, which is crazy. He got a 190.
TOM SEGURA: 190.
JOE ROGAN: 190. When you watch him hit it, you’re like, what the f*? You want to see it? You should just see it. Just to feel what it would feel like to get hit in the head by that.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, my God.
JOE ROGAN: Like, that guy. He’s out there in the world.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You know, like, if you think you’re going to be a journeyman and you’re going to all of a sudden, you know, be looking across the octagon. And that guy standing there, chama, like, he’s going to hunt you. He’s going to hunt you. And you, you’re not in that space that he’s in. He’s in a killer be killed space. And you’re in a. This is fun to compete.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. It’s not the same thing. Not the same thing.
JOE ROGAN: Watch this video because it’s bananas. When he hits it, you just go. Everybody around him goes, oh, like, what the f*? Watch this. Oh my gosh. See that? One more time. One more time.
TOM SEGURA: Well, you just.
JOE ROGAN: In the beginning that if you don’t. The sound is so crazy.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that’s your face.
JOE ROGAN: You know what? Mark Goddard. Mark Goddard was the referee in his fight with Khalil Rountree. And he came up to me right after the fight, like I got into the octagon. They were going to, you know, announce Alice Pereira winner by knockout. Goddard walks up to me, goes, “The sound that guy makes,” he goes, “I’ve been doing this for 20 years.” He goes, “The sound is ungodly.”
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: It’s ungodly. It’s different. And you can see when you’re hearing, doing commentary, you see the look on the guys faces when they get hit. They’re like, oh, this is real. This is different.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, there’s some different dudes out there.
The Amazon Warrior
JOE ROGAN: There’s some different dudes out there. And that’s, that’s a different. Not just of dedication and drive and focus, because he definitely has all that, but it’s genetics. That dude is a legitimate Amazon warrior. Yeah, like he’s. He comes from a tribe in the Amazon and he goes back to that tribe and he gets. He puts on the traditional outfits that they wear and the mate the face paint and hangs out with them. And it’s like, yo, he would have been the tribal warlord.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he would have been. Back in the day.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I mean, that’s his. That’s his ancestry. F* me. Yeah, he speaks their language.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, he does like the dialect, I think.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t want to misspeak, but I’m pretty sure he understands what they’re saying because he’s talking to them. Not just Portuguese, Brazil. That whole Amazon area is so fascinating, man.
TOM SEGURA: Have you been to the Amazon?
JOE ROGAN: No.
TOM SEGURA: I went once. Really? Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: What’d you do?
Tom’s Amazon Adventure
TOM SEGURA: My uncle was working for an oil company in Peru. And there’s a part of Peru called Iquitos in the north, which is the jungle. And I went with him and we went out on the Amazon and then we pulled up to some place and he’s like, “We’re going to eat here,” right? It’s not like Terry Blacks, right? It’s just like some.
JOE ROGAN: A shack shack.
TOM SEGURA: And the guy just kept praying. I was like, what am I eating? He’s like, “I’ll tell you later.”
JOE ROGAN: Piranha.
TOM SEGURA: It was all kinds of weird s*.
JOE ROGAN: What were you eating?
TOM SEGURA: I mean snakes and rabbits and you know, like Amazonian s* that I’ve never even heard of. And I would take bites and be like, what is this? “Later, I’ll tell you later.”
JOE ROGAN: Okay.
TOM SEGURA: He all this stuff. And I was like, this is crazy. But when you’re out there, yeah. You are kind of wowed, you know, you’re just in awe of everything around you and like just the fact that this is on the planet with us and you can make a trek to a place like this where there’s species of, not just animals, flowers and trees and things that don’t exist anywhere else.
And it’s so rich with everything that’s there. It’s an awe inspiring kind of thing.
JOE ROGAN: It hasn’t even been documented. I mean there’s so many pharmaceutical drugs that come from plants they find in the Amazon.
TOM SEGURA: It’s wild, it’s crazy.
The Man-Made Rainforest
JOE ROGAN: It’s such a crazy place. You know the craziest part about it, the density of the Amazon rainforest is essentially man made.
TOM SEGURA: Man made?
JOE ROGAN: Man made, yeah. Really? Yeah. They didn’t know that until fairly recently. Those are agriculture plants that grew out of control. Out of control.
TOM SEGURA: And they constantly. But they’ll find, you know, they’ll find like a species of a bird and they’ll be like, this is the only place we’ve ever seen this bird. It doesn’t exist anywhere else on the planet.
JOE ROGAN: It all used to be populated too. That’s what’s really crazy. Yeah, they do. Have you seen that lidar stuff? They do?
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: And they find all these ancient structures.
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: The white man came and brought the cooties that happened.
TOM SEGURA: And there’s still like these tribes that live there and literally have blow darts. Oh yeah, that hunt. That’s how they kill their meals.
JOE ROGAN: My friend Paul Rosolie lives there, lives there, lives in the Amazon. He’s got this organization that’s working to try to preserve the rainforest. One of the things they do is they find these loggers. And these loggers generally they’re poor guys that just get forced to do these jobs and he pays them more than they get paid as loggers to protect the rainforest. So instead of cutting it down, now you have a job where you get paid more. But now your job is to protect the forest.
TOM SEGURA: So they plant more and everything?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they plant more. They stop people from. I don’t know if they plant. Honestly, they stop people from cutting things down. The problem with planting and this is where the Amazon gets really weird. The Amazon soil natively is not conducive for growing a lot of stuff.
So there’s a type of soil that’s man made that they do not know how they did it, they do not know when they started doing it. But it’s called Terra preta. Is that what it’s called? And it’s a thick, dark man made soil. So it’s essentially compost and all these, this different process and carbon and a bunch of things that they get into this, this man made layer that’s all over the Amazon.
TOM SEGURA: Wow.
The Lost City of Z
JOE ROGAN: That whole area, we thought it like. So you know this Lost City of Z story. So the Lost City of Z was that movie, did you ever see it? Was it Percy Richards, what was his name? Percy Fawcett. Percy Fawcett. So this guy goes down to the Amazon a long time ago and he comes back with this story. You know, European traveler comes back with, with this story of golden cities and it’s amazing.
So he comes back, reports his findings and then a hundred years later, like a news search party goes down there to look for this place and they don’t find nothing. Like, oh, that guy was full of s. But he wasn’t full of s. It was all real. It’s just that he brought the cooties.
So they brought disease and literally wiped out millions of people. Millions of people. And the jungle just consumed whatever structures were there in a hundred years. Which is like, look at Detroit. Detroit is freezing cold. It’s nowhere near as tropical as the Amazon, but Detroit, houses are just, trees are growing straight through them. And it’s only been like 50 years.
So in a hundred years in the Amazon, everything was gone. All the people were dead, all the structures which were wood were all just like consumed by the rainforest.
TOM SEGURA: Whoa.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And they didn’t even know this until they started doing this lidar stuff. And so this lidar stuff, when they’re flying over with this, it’s a type of laser and essentially it looks into the ground and finds structures right through the trees.
TOM SEGURA: It can like scan things and they’re.
JOE ROGAN: Finding aqueducts and roads and like complex irrigation systems. Big giant symmetrical structures like this. This is all covered by jungle. Like these were all buildings and streets. Like they had millions of people living in the Amazon Millions.
Theories About Visitors
TOM SEGURA: This is like, the same, you know, the theory that. You know, how, like, UAPs have become more like, there’s congressional testimonies about it, and everybody’s always talking about, where are these visitors coming from?
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: But, like, one of the theories is that they’re not visitors from somewhere else.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
Ancient Mysteries and Unexplored Territories
TOM SEGURA: They’re visitors from our own planet.
JOE ROGAN: That is an interesting.
TOM SEGURA: I saw it as interesting, especially just because we know how much of our planet is actually unexplored. Like, we always think of it as, like, oh, we know the planet.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: But, like, most of the ocean is unexplored. Like, a huge number of. And then obviously, things like the jungle where you’re just discovering, like, oh, look, there’s a whole civilization in there.
JOE ROGAN: Well, there was a civilization. What I think the Amazon rainforest, people that they encounter now, the uncontacted people, are probably the survivors. Because the thing is, during the Ice Age, the equator was lush, so these areas probably had huge populations, perfect climate. I mean, think about all the incredible structures that you find in those areas, like the Incan structures and the Mayan structures. Like, they were obviously a very advanced civilization back then.
TOM SEGURA: Nothing makes sense when you’re there. Like, I’ve been three times to Machu Picchu, and you’re always just, oh, you.
JOE ROGAN: You went to Machu Picchu?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I went three times. And every time, because you see photos and stuff when you’re actually there, you’re like. It’s just. Your brain just goes. I don’t. You know, it doesn’t. Because it’s all theories.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: Everyone, like, you’ll have a guide who’s like, “this is how.” And you’re like, yeah, but this is your guess, motherf*er. You don’t know that. You know, it just doesn’t add up in your head how this could be built up in the Andes.
The Mystery of Ancient Stone Construction
JOE ROGAN: Well, the predominant theory by the alternative historians is that water was that high back then in that area. And that there have been some enormous seismic changes, you know, earthquakes and the like, which is one of the reasons why they made those stones the way they did in the first place. Like, you see the stones, they’re cut, like jigsaw puzzle pieces and slipped into place.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: The reason why they did that is because that would better redistribute any energy that would come from an earthquake. So instead of bricks stacked on top of bricks, they’re all interlocking with each other with a bunch of different angles, and they’re immense.
TOM SEGURA: These pieces are so immense. Immense. And it’s laying perfectly flush against the next piece. Like, it’s not kind of sloppily thrown together. It looks like an architecture firm designed it and hired, you know, like, that there were cranes putting. You’re like, how the f* would this be put together in 1500?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s really, really difficult to figure out. Yeah, they don’t know, and they don’t even know the date. The date is silly because they’re not. What they’re basing the data off of. There’s a bunch of different structures. There’s the base structure, which is way more complex and way bigger. Like Sacsayhuamán and a bunch of these other places that they have layers of civilization that’s really clear.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, the layers above it are less sophisticated than the giant megalithic stuff that’s below it. And yet they all try to attribute it to the same time. The problem is they get married to a timeline.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And once they get married to that timeline, then they go, oh, well, that’s just what it is.
TOM SEGURA: That’s what it is.
JOE ROGAN: But they don’t know what it is. They’re always there. They just discovered this new stone structure that is in Oregon, and it’s 18,000 years old. They didn’t even think up until fairly recently. They didn’t think that people were here 18,000 years ago.
Ancient Human Occupation in Oregon
TOM SEGURA: There’s a structure in Oregon that’s 18,000 years ago.
JOE ROGAN: Let me see if I can find it. I think, yeah, here it is. I found it.
TOM SEGURA: I always feel like when the experts give you the.
JOE ROGAN: Did you find it, Tammy? Yeah. Testing yields new evidence of human occupation 18,000 years ago in Oregon. So they just keep. So this is a stone wall. It’s pretty cool. So they found camel teeth fragments under a layer of volcanic ash from an eruption in Mount St. Helens that was dated over 15,000 years ago. Team also uncovered two finely crafted orange. I don’t know what that word is.
TOM SEGURA: Agate scrapers.
JOE ROGAN: Agate scrapers. I guess it’s a type of stone. One in 2012 preserved bison blood residue, and another in 2015 buried deeper in the ashes. So they did the radiocarbon dating on this stuff, and they came up with a date of 18,250 years before present time. F*.
TOM SEGURA: That’s so goddamn long ago.
JOE ROGAN: The date in association with stone tools suggests that the Rimrock Draw Rock Shelter is one of the oldest human occupation sites in North America. See if you can find what that looks like. So there’s a few places in America, where people are like, okay, what the f* is this? And one of them that’s really interesting. What does perplexity have to say about this?
The site is a shallow rock shelter about 3 meters deep, 20 meters long, on a basalt rim near the town of Riley in Harney County, Oregon, at the northern edge of the Great Basin. Interesting. This stuff is so interesting to me.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
The Sage Wall Mystery
JOE ROGAN: Because there’s a weird one in Montana. Have you seen the sage wall in Montana? This one’s really weird. So this one is actually debatable, apparently. So there are some people that are geologists that look at this and say, this has. It could be a natural formation. And other people look at it and go, yeah, but it has legit tooling on it.
So this is a wall that’s on a piece of private property in Montana. Just looking at that image. Boy, that looks a lot like people made it. Yeah, that looks a lot like people made it. So there’s an argument though, that there are similar but not as uniquely man made looking structures that are not. That are definitely not man made.
TOM SEGURA: Wait, so this is a. The debate is that this might not be man made, that this might be naturally occurring?
JOE ROGAN: Exactly. Like, look at that. What are the odds that that is. What is that? Like, what is that? Is that. Well, the funny thing is evidence of an ancient civilization or is that just a geological formation?
TOM SEGURA: Well, the funny thing is in that image, I lean more towards. I could see how you could make a case of a natural formation, perhaps. But on the other ones where things look more stacked, it feels like that. Like that second image below.
JOE ROGAN: No, I think that’s AI. Oh, okay. I was trying to be careful which ones. Yeah, but when you look at it from the top, that’s kind of crazy.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that is kind of crazy.
JOE ROGAN: There’s parts of it, though, that look like there’s stuff around that that just doesn’t look as uniquely man made. But it is without a doubt weird. Yeah. Because if it turns out that people did make this thing and apparently it goes deep into the ground, like there’s some. There’s some cuts that looks like. And then there’s also some evidence that looks like somebody might have been working on the stone, like drill holes or something, I forget what it was. But look at these.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that looks like.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, this is not that. That’s comparing it to the stuff that’s in Peru, which has some of the craziest stuff. Peru has some of the craziest stuff in the world. Like, look at that. Look at that angle. Go back to that one right there. Like, what the f is that? That’s crazy. Are there nubs on any of these rocks? That’s a good question. But some of them, like, boy, that looks really fing suspicious.
The Nazca Lines and Mysterious Mummies
TOM SEGURA: You’ve looked up. I don’t know if we talked about the lines of Nazca before.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, that’s. So would you know about the mummies, the tridactyl mummies that they found in that area? Oh, boy.
TOM SEGURA: No.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, boy. Okay, so they’ve always had artwork that depicted these three fingered, three toed beings with big eyes. It’s a part of ancient Peruvian artwork. They’re dated back to a thousand years. Well, they found these mummified remains of the weirdest looking f*ing creatures you’ve ever seen in your life.
They’re three feet tall, they have big heads, three fingers and three toes, and they’re dead. And then they do CT scans on them. They have all the ligaments and structure of a living being, but with. They have a different scapula than us. And I think, oh, they don’t have a sternum, but they have all. They have the ribs that we have. I think the same amount of ribs, but their structure is different. But it’s a real structure.
Like when you see the structure with the CT scan, you see flesh and tissue, these things. Whoa, Barro. This is all in Peru. So there’s all these little metallic implants on this thing too. But this is the structure of its body. And as it goes further, it shows the tissue and everything because it’s mummified. So you could see ligaments and tissue. And when you. So these are. There’s a bunch of different scans that they did. And one of them, the being, was pregnant.
But look, it has a spinal column. It has. All the joints are in order, but they’re different than our joints in that area.
TOM SEGURA: It was.
JOE ROGAN: This is all in Peru and it’s all in the same. Look at it. It has a f*ing metallic golden implant in its forehead. And look at the size of its head. Like, it looks like a gray. Right? Yeah. See if you can get some of those images that show the CT scans of the tissue. Because the CT scans of the tissue are the weird.
Also there is. So it also has fingerprints which are weird. Like, look at that. It has fing fingerprints, but they’re different than ours. And three digits, unique fingerprints. They don’t know what this is. But my friend Jesse Michaels went down there and saw them in person. He said it was unreal. He said, it’s really fing bizarre.
Tom’s Nazca Lines Adventure
TOM SEGURA: Did I tell you when I went to the Linus?
JOE ROGAN: The Nazca? No.
TOM SEGURA: So I went there, I was in the.
JOE ROGAN: So you can get pictures of the whole skeleton.
TOM SEGURA: And my uncle set me up to go see them with my dad. And so we got into what was a cartel plane that was confiscated by the government. It was now a Peruvian government plane, like a military plane. But it was really four seats in the back, two pilots in the front. I think two propellers, right? One of those types of planes.
The best way to see the lines is in a chopper, so you can hover. But we went on a plane and we’re like. I mean, you can’t believe what you’re seeing, right? Like, you’re flying over and they’re taking. And in the middle of it, my dad’s like, “I need to pee.” And I’m like, what? He’s like, “tell the pilot I need to pee.” I’m like, we’re. We’re going to keep doing this. He’s like, “I have to pee now.”
JOE ROGAN: Oh, boy.
TOM SEGURA: So I go to the pilot, I was like, hey, my dad’s got to pee. He’s like, what? I go, yeah. He’s like, 65. I’m like, he’s got to pee. And the guy’s like, alright. So we just find some random airstrip, I think, in Pisco or something. And then how long does it take to do that? I forget. I mean, we had to go out of our way. And then, you know, he pees.
JOE ROGAN: How long did it take?
TOM SEGURA: I mean, for us to get to the airstrip? Probably it was out of the way, so maybe another 20 minutes or something. Oh, boy. Yeah. And I was like, dude. He’s like, what am I supposed to do? I was like, I don’t know. Didn’t you f*ing pee before we got in this thing? He’s like, yeah, but I got to pee again.
And then they just walk around and they find an oil canteen that was discarded on the runway. And they’re like, “this is for your dad, so that if he has to pee again, we don’t have to land the f*ing plane.” I was like, here you go, dad. If it strikes you again, please piss in this.
JOE ROGAN: Did he do it?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he did it.
JOE ROGAN: He did. He pissed in it.
TOM SEGURA: He pissed again.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, my God. He pissed in the oil can.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: So you’re flying around with your dad’s pissed.
TOM SEGURA: And then he’s like, “That’s pretty neat.” Looking at the lions of NASCAR, like, “Yeah, pretty neat, man.”
JOE ROGAN: Really bizarre.
TOM SEGURA: It’s kind of funny, too, to think about.
JOE ROGAN: Show me the images of the, like the red ones where it shows the tissues and ligaments.
TOM SEGURA: The fact that some people aren’t wowed by things like this. Do you know what I mean?
JOE ROGAN: Jay Anderson had a good one. He had a bunch because he did a piece on it too. Yeah, well, you have to be out of your f*ing mind to not be wowed by this.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I know, but don’t you feel like half the population is like, “Oh, that’s cool.”
JOE ROGAN: Half the population is asleep. Yeah, they’re all on TikTok. It’s all rot in their brain. They’re all just so. Social media is like, transformed their attention. They’re locked in on nonsense, on things that don’t have any bearing on their life whatsoever. And that’s what they’re focusing on six hours a day. Yeah, that’s a lot of people.
TOM SEGURA: You show them something like this and.
JOE ROGAN: They’re like, this is. This is completely bananas. Yeah, that’s not a fing human being. Yeah, it’s a fing alien or it might have been a kind of human being. Right, so you know about. There’s a bunch of different ones, right? Everybody knows about Neanderthals, but there’s also the Hobbit people in the island of Flores. There’s three foot tall human beings that looked probably like, you know, like a hobbit, like little chimpanzee. Look at that f*ing thing.
TOM SEGURA: F*ing A.
JOE ROGAN: Like, what is that? And the thing is, it’s like if you just saw the outside, you’d go, “Oh, that’s a cool structure or cool sculpture rather.” But then when you see the actual ligaments and tendons and all the stuff inside of it, you go, “Oh, no, this is a living being, whatever the hell it is.” And they all have three toes and three fingers.
TOM SEGURA: It’s just, it’s. It just strikes me too, that, like this. Look at the primary conversation.
JOE ROGAN: Look at that we’re having, though. I mean, look at that.
TOM SEGURA: I know.
JOE ROGAN: How insane is that?
TOM SEGURA: It’s an alien, man.
JOE ROGAN: They’re very different. They also. They have different shaped heads. Like, there’s a difference between, you know.
TOM SEGURA: How many did we find?
JOE ROGAN: Oh, there’s quite a few of them. There’s quite a few of them.
TOM SEGURA: What is the Montserrat? Is that.
JOE ROGAN: That’s the bigger one. That’s the biggest one that they have.
TOM SEGURA: That’s the name they gave it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they gave it a name. So this is the largest one and the most impressive. And she has these metallic implants. She’s got the one on her forehead and she’s got several of them on her body. It’s a very weird thing because it seems like it’s a living creature, but it’s not like a human being. Like, even the way it’s skull. Those lines in the skull, like we all have those. Whatever those those lines are. Their lines are different than ours. Everything’s different.
TOM SEGURA: Jesus.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. The way they found these things, grave robbers find them. So they don’t really tell you where they found them. They lie about them. They find them in Peru.
TOM SEGURA: But I mean, like, how long ago did this happen?
JOE ROGAN: All this is fairly recent.
TOM SEGURA: Okay.
JOE ROGAN: All this is in the last decade or so. But they’re really. The focus on it has been over the last year or so where a lot of these scientists have gone down there to take a look at it and guys like Jesse Michaels and some other people. The problem is the country doesn’t want them removed for testing. Right?
TOM SEGURA: Right.
JOE ROGAN: But you’re going to have to bring equipment down there because testing has to be done. Like, we have to figure out what these things are because it seems like it’s a life form that is a bipedal hominid that’s different than us that probably lived alongside. By the way, that thing is also 1200 years old.
TOM SEGURA: That’s old.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And now 1200 years old. It’s not a fake.
TOM SEGURA: I wonder if that’s the civilization that did those lines.
JOE ROGAN: You know very well could be. They could be the same civilization that also did all that. Those structures up there, there might have been living amongst us. There might have been multiple different civilizations in the past that just don’t exist anymore. If these things turn out to be real and they do have this enormous head and these weird spindly bodies and three fingers and three toes. And they start finding more and more artifacts that point to that. That changes our understanding of what has existed here before. Because whatever that thing is, it’s at the very least it’s advanced enough to give itself metal implants. Like what’s going on there where it has a gold circle in its forehead.
TOM SEGURA: Implanted.
JOE ROGAN: Implanted into its skull. Like, what’s the point of that? Because gold does have a place in electronics. You know, they use gold in certain electronics. It’s got great kind of conductivity. Right. So why does it have. What is that thing? If it’s a real thing? Everybody should be like, it should be front page. That’s what I’m saying, yeah, look at that. Look at that implant. That’s Jay Anderson. He was actually just on.
TOM SEGURA: What could this mean?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, bro, it’s bananas.
TOM SEGURA: Look at those eye. Like the slots for the eyes.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, like a gray alien tridactyl. But yeah, like a gray alien. And by the way, like. Like people have described when they’ve had encounters, they’ve described things that look exactly like that. Three fingers, three toes, spindly big head, large eyes.
TOM SEGURA: And he went down there and he went down.
JOE ROGAN: My friend Mike Jesse Michaels went down there and actually touched them. He was. That was the first video. He was in the room while they were doing the scans. He said, “It’s so strange.” He said it feels so surreal because it’s so obvious that it was a real living thing.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t understand how that’s not like the lead story in the news everywhere.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile they’re, you know, arguing over, you know, everything. Yeah. Everything else. Everything. Whatever the f* it is.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Can you believe what’s going on with Turning Point USA? They found aliens. I know. They found alien bodies. Like, if you ever wanted alien bodies. Well, show me a body that’s an alien body.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: At the very least, it’s not us. So maybe it’s from here and went extinct. Or maybe it’s in the ocean.
TOM SEGURA: Or the congressional testimony of like high level whistleblowers being like, “We have these, whatever, this ship, whatever you want to call it, that we’ve.” And then it’s like in a congressional testimony, everyone’s like, “That’s cool.”
JOE ROGAN: Nobody cares.
TOM SEGURA: Nobody cares.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Everybody’s like, tick tocking.
TOM SEGURA: But it was funny.
JOE ROGAN: Nicki Minaj is on stage at the TPUs.
TOM SEGURA: It’s crazy. It’s really crazy to me. Yeah, that’s like. That’s not captivating people more.
The Importance of Comedy in Crazy Times
JOE ROGAN: Well, I think, you know, people are in a trance. There’s a giant percentage of our population that’s in a trance. That should be the main news. Other than the wars. That should be the main news today.
TOM SEGURA: Well, hopefully they’re in a trance to watch my new special “Teacher” on Netflix.
JOE ROGAN: I like how you did that.
TOM SEGURA: Go ahead and zone out and watch that with your family.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, well, comedy’s f*ing super important when the world goes going crazy.
TOM SEGURA: It sure is when the world is.
JOE ROGAN: Going crazy right now.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: We were talking about the Epstein releases, like before we got started, like, first.
TOM SEGURA: Of all, like, photo dump and the emails. F*ing nuts.
JOE ROGAN: But it’s also there. They’re doing it so slowly. Like, you guys have had this stuff for a year, like don’t.
TOM SEGURA: We were promised multiple times. It’s coming, it’s coming.
JOE ROGAN: Doesn’t it seem like you could just throw all that into AI at this stage of the game?
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: And just redact the names of the victims and let’s go.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, of course.
JOE ROGAN: It seems like that would take five minutes.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, it feels like. I mean, you can’t help but feel like the administration is just like watching their back and that’s why it’s happening.
JOE ROGAN: Watching someone’s back.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, it’s all speculative why they haven’t released it, but it’s not good. It’s not good for everybody’s confidence. No, it’s not good that this thing was going on, that they had this bizarre blackmail operation running. That’s very weird.
TOM SEGURA: Very strange.
JOE ROGAN: Very weird. But it kind of makes sense because if you’re a, you know, 60 year old billionaire and you’re a freak and you like to get your freak on, but unfortunately you’re a gigantic software developer and everybody knows who you are.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like it’s hard to get your freak on.
TOM SEGURA: Well, there’s. That’s the thing is like, there’s that it makes sense when you go like, “Oh, some of these dudes really like visiting that place.” Like that’s the only place they can go.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: You can’t go anywhere else.
JOE ROGAN: Right. And that’s why they set it up for them.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Eric Weinstein said that to me once. I was like, “Oh, okay, that makes sense.”
TOM SEGURA: If you’re the former president of the United States, you can’t go to a nightclub.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. He said, “I think there are people out there that provide experiences for certain people that have a hunger for them.” I was like, of course, of course, of course. And that’s also how they compromise people too, right?
TOM SEGURA: Oh yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That’s how they get you to vote the way they want you to vote and play ball. “Bobby, we got video. You sucking a d*.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: What do you want to do?
JOE ROGAN: What do you want to do? Yeah. Because like, I bet all those people have something on them. That’s how they stay in the game. They have to like skull and bones, you got to suck the d*. Well, look at likewise, we can’t trust.
TOM SEGURA: You for the Epstein shit. Like, look at the level of people that we’re visiting. I mean, it’s all at the highest level of influence, power and fame.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And so you go, “Yeah, this dude wants to do some wild shit. Can’t go to f*ing. He can’t go to Cheetahs and get it done.” You know, you can’t do it. He’s got to go somewhere. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: What?
TOM SEGURA: Sounds. A private island.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. He can’t just, like, order up a call girl.
TOM SEGURA: It’s too risky.
JOE ROGAN: Where you going? “I’m going to Captain Billionaire’s house to suck his d*. I do it every Tuesday. Plus, I’m on meth, and I’m really good at keeping secrets.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. These guys, the fing. It’s dark. It’s fing dark.
JOE ROGAN: So some guy comes along and says, “I can take care of your problems.” And then. Yeah. And everybody says, “Oh, trust me. He’s a great guy.”
TOM SEGURA: He’s really cool.
JOE ROGAN: And he also does this thing. Yeah. Great sense of humor.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: His staff love him. They also do this thing where, you know, it’s like, you’re going to hang out with other famous people, so it must be safe.
TOM SEGURA: Mm.
JOE ROGAN: Hey, Bill Clinton’s here. This is no problem. This is a statement released by the spokesperson or spokesman for Bill Clinton.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, let’s read that. Yeah.
The Epstein Files and Bill Clinton’s Statement
JOE ROGAN: Wait a minute. There’s a person who signed it. My name is Angel Urena, spokesperson, spokesman for the former President Bill Clinton. Isn’t that weird? He’s the deputy chief of staff for Bill Clinton. Okay. He’s still got a chief of staff. What does he do these days?
Epstein Files. Transparency act imposes a clear legal duty on the U.S. department of justice to produce the full and complete record of the public demands and deserves that. The public demands and deserves. However, what the Democrats Department of Justice has released so far and the manner in which it did so makes one thing clear. Someone or something is being protected.
We do not know whom, what, or why. This is like the killer pretending to be the detective.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: We’ve got to solve this crime. We do not know whom.
TOM SEGURA: This is the killer joining the search party.
JOE ROGAN: We do not know whom, what, or why. Photos of you in a f*ing hot tub, buddy. But we do know this. We need no such protection. Accordingly, we call on President Trump to direct Attorney General Bondi to immediately release any remaining materials referring to, mentioning or containing a photograph of Bill Clinton.
This includes, without limitation, any records that may exist and are subject to disclosure under the Act Public Law 100 1938, enacted on November 19, 2025, including grand jury transcripts, interview notes, photographs, and findings. By the way, this means a deal was made. So if you release, you have a press release like that, that means the call went well.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You got a deal in. Whoo. We’re good.
TOM SEGURA: We are good.
JOE ROGAN: All we have to do is let them run for a third term, and we’re good. Look.
TOM SEGURA: Dude, Clinton chilling in that hot tub, too.
JOE ROGAN: Hey, I would chill in a hot tub, too. It feels nice.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it feels nice, but it just…
JOE ROGAN: Like, what’s the big deal? You’re chilling in a hot tub. If I went to your house and you had a hot tub, like, let’s all get in the hot tub. I get in there. Come on, take a picture of me. I’m like, f*, dude.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t even know her.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Why’d you do that?
TOM SEGURA: I don’t know. I didn’t know how old she was.
JOE ROGAN: And you got cameras up all over your house.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He knew what he was doing.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. Probably watching people do coke in the bathroom. Got cameras of that. They were probably doing all kinds of sh.
TOM SEGURA: He was compromising a lot of people.
JOE ROGAN: And made a sh ton of money doing it.
TOM SEGURA: God damn, he sure did.
JOE ROGAN: Boy, that’s what’s really weird. Like, he got gifted a giant mansion in Manhattan by that, the dude from Victoria’s Secret. Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And that guy was like, yeah, he was just running my finances. But then I didn’t realize what kind of guy he was. But I gave him billions of dollars to manage. And you’re like, what?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: I said, you do.
JOE ROGAN: I know what kind of a guy he was after he got arrested for having sex with underage girls.
TOM SEGURA: So then I stopped working with him. Okay.
Bill Gates on Jeffrey Epstein
JOE ROGAN: My favorite one was when they were questioning Bill Gates about it, and he goes, “Well, he’s dead now, so you got to be careful.” Did you ever see that?
TOM SEGURA: No.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, it’s crazy.
TOM SEGURA: That’s it. That’s his crazy.
JOE ROGAN: She asks him why he had these interactions with Jeffrey Epstein, and he’s essentially saying, it was a mistake. I was hoping that he was going to do a lot of work with philanthropy. He’s going to help me out with philanthropy. Right.
TOM SEGURA: That’s why I meet with him so many times.
JOE ROGAN: But the end result, the final statement was chilling. He’s like, “He’s dead now, so you have to be careful.” Like, what?
TOM SEGURA: What does that…
JOE ROGAN: What does that mean? What do you mean? Be careful to not hang yourself in jail, which is what the official story is, right? Is that what you mean? Be careful or you’ll hang yourself in jail? Is that what you’re saying?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: No, it’s not what you’re saying. Be careful because someone killed them. Right? Which is what we all think, which is why there’s no fing… The cameras were down, which is why the guards were asleep, which is why his fing… His gigantic roommate who was a murderer and a drug dealing cop who assassinated people, who’s built like a f*ing gorilla. You see his… You ever see his roommate?
TOM SEGURA: No.
JOE ROGAN: You never saw Jeffrey Epstein’s roommate?
TOM SEGURA: Oh, boy. He had a cellmate when he was there, bro.
JOE ROGAN: Not only did he have a cellmate, he had a cellmate that murdered several people in drug deals who was a cop. He was a gigantic roided up psychopath. This is the roommate I remember. He get that guy to kill him for extra cigarettes is what my point is. He’s in jail for life.
TOM SEGURA: I remember.
JOE ROGAN: Look at him. That guy, that guy, that was his f*ing roommate. Just imagine what kind of a plan you would have for the biggest defendant in any sort of high level espionage, possibly involving foreign governments. And you’d put him in a prison cell, a cage, with a guy who was… who’s committed four different murders. That guy was a cop?
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: Look at the build on this motherf*er. Look at the size of this guy. Yeah, this is the guy. Oh, he like dogs. Murderer.
TOM SEGURA: That’s nice.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he’s a sweet guy. You put a murderer. Well, he had a bunch of things. Barking in case anyone came near his property to get back at him.
TOM SEGURA: Do you remember that famous forensic…
JOE ROGAN: Michael Baden?
TOM SEGURA: Michael Baden, yeah. He testified that the hyoid, I think it’s called the hyoid bone.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: That was snapped on Epstein. Was far more consistent with, as he says, a homicide.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Then bothers me so much that he says it like that.
JOE ROGAN: Homicide? Yeah, I think he said it was broken in two places.
TOM SEGURA: He’s like, that’s much more consistent with homicide than suicide.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it was. Someone strangled him. Someone strangled him from behind. It was also the position. Here it is. Play this.
“I regret doing that. He had relationships with people he said, you know, would give to Global Health, which is a interest I have. You know, not nearly enough philanthropy goes in that direction. You know, those meetings were a mistake. They didn’t result in what he purported. And I cut them off. You know, that goes back a long time ago now. There’s, you know, so there’s nothing new on that.”
It was reported that you continue to…
TOM SEGURA: Meet with him over several years.
JOE ROGAN: And that, in other words, a number of meetings. What did you do when you found out about his background?
“Well, you know, I’ve said I regretted having those dinners and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing new on that, is there a lesson for you, for anyone else looking, looking at this. Well, he’s dead, so, you know, in general, you always have to be careful and, you know, the, you know, I’m very proud of what we’ve done in philanthropy. Very proud of the work of the foundation. You know, that’s what I get up every day and focus on.”
Me too. I’m a good guy. Imagine if he was reading for a film. You’d be like, I don’t believe a word you just said.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t believe a word you said.
TOM SEGURA: Take two, let’s do this.
JOE ROGAN: Okay. Who wrote this? Like he’s going to just transition from hanging out with this guy. “He’s dead now.” To “I’m really proud of the work we’ve done with philanthropy.” Let’s shift this conversation to a much more positive place.
TOM SEGURA: That’s a PR spin.
Philanthropy as Image Rehabilitation
JOE ROGAN: I’m super proud of the work we’ve done with philanthropy. That’s… You know, he got into all that stuff in the first place after the Microsoft stuff, because Microsoft at one point in time had these all this anti competitive accusations.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, right.
JOE ROGAN: And so he was thought as being this guy that like, you know, was drowning out competition, was monopolizing. Yeah. So then he pivoted, became a philanthropist. It’s a good move.
TOM SEGURA: It is a good move.
JOE ROGAN: You know who else did that? The guy who invented the Nobel Prize.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Peter Berg told me a story. It’s a cool story. So he dies, the guy, I forget what his first name is. His last name is Nobel. He died and everybody called him the merchant of death because he made dynamite.
Oh, so he didn’t really die, though. It was a fake story. So he saw the stories. He’s like, “Hey, I’m not dead, but oh, my God, this is how people think about me. This is how they’re going to write about me after I’m dead. I got to do something to clean my image up.”
So to clean his image up, he invents the Nobel Prize. He starts giving out these prizes for peace and for physics and Nobel Prize literature. Yeah. And so then the Nobel Prize becomes synonymous with excellence. The name Nobel is now connected to that. Instead of connected to killing a bunch of motherf*ers with dynamite.
TOM SEGURA: That’s a great marketing move on his part. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: What was his real name? Alfred Nobel. Alfred Nobel made dynamite, right? That was the thing. Yeah. But I’m looking at the Nobel Prizes. Well, it says there’s a well known story about the origin of the Nobel Prize, although historians have been unable to verify it and some dismiss it as a myth.
Well, let’s find out if the story of him being called The Merchant of Death are true. And the fake death when people thought he died. Is that true? That’s… I mean, I have to just check that out real quick. Look that out. I bet it’s true.
TOM SEGURA: That’s a good marketing move.
JOE ROGAN: It’s a move. It’s a move that people do, you know?
TOM SEGURA: Well, that was also what, you know, some really evil people have done also, you know, like, if you want to, like, serial killers, you know, like, John Wayne Gacy was like, “I do clown parties for kids.” Like, it’s like, look over here. I’m a fun guy. You know, Cosby was always like, you know, telling people how to live their life.
JOE ROGAN: People don’t tell dirty jokes.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Don’t curse.
JOE ROGAN: Swear. Yeah. He would call people up and tell them not to swear anymore.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Get mad at them.
TOM SEGURA: Eddie Murphy. Oh, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Famous, famously.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: With filth. Florin.
TOM SEGURA: Filth.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He did. He did do that. He did do that. I remember one time Wanda Sykes interviewed him at, like, some award thing. Like, he was in the crowd, and she came up to him an interview, and he was, like, so rude to her.
TOM SEGURA: He had so much disdain. I remember that, too.
JOE ROGAN: Remember that. It was weird. Okay. Nobel grew extremely wealthy from inventions like dynamite and blasting gelatin, which are widely used in warfare and earned him the nickname “the Merchant of Death” in the press.
1888 French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary after his brother’s death, condemning him as a man who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster. This shock is widely seen as prompting him to rethink how he’d be remembered. So it is true.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
Trump’s White House Plaques and Presidential Legacy
JOE ROGAN: There should be no dispute of this. In his will of 1895, he left most of his fortune to fund prizes for those who shall be conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. Of course you’re dead. You don’t need your money. Nobel never publicly explained his motives. F*ing duh. So historians emphasize that any account of his reason is an informed reconstruction, not a direct statement from him. Okay, I get that because they’re historians.
TOM SEGURA: Did you see how I think it was? These days, you don’t know what has to be confirmed or not. But it looked like on the Kennedy center, they started putting the name Trump on it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he added his name to it. Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: It’s crazy. And he took it out the Kennedy Rose Garden, and you’re like, what? Take it away. Now it’s like a cement. F*ing nutty.
JOE ROGAN: There’s nothing nuttier than the plaques underneath the President’s.
TOM SEGURA: That’s Insane. That’s insane.
JOE ROGAN: Shane and I were just reading them the other day.
TOM SEGURA: It’s insane.
JOE ROGAN: How is this real?
TOM SEGURA: It doesn’t feel real. And you’re just like.
JOE ROGAN: How are you allowed to do that? That’s the thing. How is he around to write that.
TOM SEGURA: In the White House? You can just probably, as president, do what you want in the White House.
JOE ROGAN: Turns out you obviously can. Yeah, but nobody ever did it before.
TOM SEGURA: Those are going to get taken down.
JOE ROGAN: No, they’ll be up forever.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t think so.
JOE ROGAN: They’re going to leave it like that forever.
TOM SEGURA: No f*ing way.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Like a museum piece.
TOM SEGURA: It’s so crazy.
JOE ROGAN: They should have like the Trump wing. This is what happened when he was president.
TOM SEGURA: Look at this f*ing lunatic.
JOE ROGAN: The auto pen photo of Joe Biden.
TOM SEGURA: And the actual what’s written there.
JOE ROGAN: Crazy.
TOM SEGURA: This is widely considered the worst president of all. Like, what are you talking about?
JOE ROGAN: It should be like a museum.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: It should be the facts of his presidency, what happened during his term. You know, the Iraq war started and da, da, da. Yeah, it should be that. Of course, that’s it. If that.
TOM SEGURA: You know, and under Reagan, it’s like Reagan liked Trump and Trump liked him too.
JOE ROGAN: Trump was a fan of Reagan. What?
TOM SEGURA: Why is that?
JOE ROGAN: Reagan was a fan of Trump. What?
TOM SEGURA: It’s.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Guys. Crazy.
JOE ROGAN: But you can’t just let someone just f*ing fully swim in it like that.
TOM SEGURA: I know.
JOE ROGAN: So he needs like a right hand man. Go. Sir.
TOM SEGURA: I think they just let me just.
JOE ROGAN: I understand the motive.
TOM SEGURA: Well, he’s also losing it too. You can tell.
JOE ROGAN: Well, I think everybody does when you get to a certain age. Right.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, of course. I mean, the guy’s about to be 80. Right?
JOE ROGAN: Right. So there’s no. And also the stress of going through what that guy went through, where they were trying to jail him when they were going after him with the Russia thing. The Russia hoax and all that s*. Like they were trying everything they could to destroy him. Just that alone’s got to break your brain.
TOM SEGURA: It radicalizes you. It makes. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And then they took a shot at him. Yeah. Somebody shot him. And that guy dies. And then when the guy dies, they find out that his apartment’s been professionally scrubbed. They find out he was in a BlackRock commercial like two years before that.
TOM SEGURA: He was. Oh yeah. The shooter.
JOE ROGAN: The shooter. Oh, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Was he an actor?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, in the film. Yeah. But obviously he was like connected to some people that knew some people. What does that mean? It might mean nothing.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: But it. There’s also a lot of weirdness to his past. It does social media profile. It was like he, He. He seems like, like an MK Ultra plant.
TOM SEGURA: This presidency, though, does feel like a parody of a real thing. Like, it doesn’t even feel real. What?
JOE ROGAN: There’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t feel real. The. For sure. The Rob Reiner thing didn’t feel real. Oh, my God, that seemed so insane.
Rob Reiner’s Filmmaking Legacy
TOM SEGURA: You know, I didn’t realize because I obviously knew him. I knew Rob Reiner as the actor from from all in the Family, which he was. He was great in that role. And then I have memories of, like, I always think of, like, When Harry Met Sally, the Princess Bride, and I was like, oh, yeah, you know, he’s Spinal Tap.
JOE ROGAN: Stand By Me.
TOM SEGURA: Stand By Me. So I’m like, oh, you know, great storyteller comedy. I didn’t realize until he died that he did Misery. I had no idea that was him.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he did Misery too.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He did so many great films.
TOM SEGURA: He really did. He really understood, like, human emotion and storytelling across the board. Because, like, it’s one thing to be proficient in comedy. And you see this sometimes with comedy, really high level. Like, Adam McKay did so much high level comedy with Saturday Night Live. And then, you know, Talladega Nights and and like those, those big Will Ferrell movies. And then his pivot into drama is, like, exceptional. You know, like, he’s really, really good at it. And it’s, like, really remarkable when they can make that jump. Yeah, he’s really, really good.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Well, Jordan Peele, he’s fantastic.
TOM SEGURA: Another one.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he’s. He’s made some giant horror movies that are just like.
TOM SEGURA: And he was so funny in comedy.
JOE ROGAN: I know. It’s weird how good they are. It’s weird how, like, different they are too.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. How they go like, I’m comedy, I’m coming. And then, like this hard pivot into a totally different lane and be. Not Just let me try it, but be, like, excellent at it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. But I kind of get it.
TOM SEGURA: Right.
JOE ROGAN: It’s like, if you can get really good at comedy, like, which is a complicated thing to do, you for sure have other creative thoughts.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You’re not really. Probably using those.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. And I think also you get. I think a lot of guys get.
JOE ROGAN: Bored, especially running a sketch show. Right.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: After a while, you just beat all the topics to death.
TOM SEGURA: Mm.
JOE ROGAN: You know, I mean, how many topics on especially like a mid sketch show are so derivative?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, of course.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. There’s a lot of that.
TOM SEGURA: And they just go, I did it. There’s nothing else to jump Into.
JOE ROGAN: Well, you might have, like, nine episodes. You have to bang out. Well, I don’t have to tell you. You’re actually in the middle of that.
TOM SEGURA: I’m in the middle of it. Yeah. We just finished writing season two.
Tom Segura’s Netflix Show
JOE ROGAN: You have. Your show is a giant advantage, is you could just. You go so far.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And be so ridiculous.
TOM SEGURA: They kind of just let us do what we want, which is really crazy. I got the same notes. I got the first season. Don’t say the N word. That was basically it. That’s my. That’s everything else. They’re like, yeah, you can do that.
JOE ROGAN: It’s such a crazy show, dude.
TOM SEGURA: Crazy.
JOE ROGAN: It’s really fun, though.
TOM SEGURA: It’s so much fun. I had so much fun doing it. I can’t believe I get to do it again. And it’s just. It is such a blast. We get to make these, like, sketches and, like, little short films that are like, whatever we can think of. Whatever the craziest thing we can think of. And they’re just like, yeah, do that. And they gave us a. They gave me, like, a mandate. They’re like, we’d rather tell you. Tell you that’s too far than you should have gone further.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: So they’re just like, you can make it as crazy as you want. That’s nuts.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, but that’s the beautiful thing about Netflix is the variety of what’s on there. It’s just so bananas. It’s so wide ranging. There’s so much s* on there.
TV Show Recommendations
TOM SEGURA: I just watched the Beast in Me.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. I’m on episode three right now. Don’t tell me anything.
TOM SEGURA: It gets so much better.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m sure it does.
TOM SEGURA: And how good is Claire Danes? Claire Danes? Amazing. Matthew Rhys plays.
JOE ROGAN: He’s a psycho.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That guy’s great.
TOM SEGURA: He’s phenomenal. And he plays that part so exceptionally well. I mean, it’s just so good. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You can know people like him, you.
TOM SEGURA: Know people like him and, you know, you’re like, this a f*ing psycho dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He’s great at it.
TOM SEGURA: And it’s like in the eyes. It’s always in the eyes. You know, you see it in the eyes. It’s like.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he’s really. He’s got a darkness in him.
TOM SEGURA: Mm. He really does.
JOE ROGAN: He ain’t faking it.
TOM SEGURA: You know what else I just saw? I saw it on Peacock and I was like. I was like, I don’t. Like. I don’t have Peacock. I’m like, I don’t. F. What are they? This Is like, you know, know fing Kevin Hart in a bathtub interview. Like, I don’t know what’s on Peacock. I love Kevin, by the way, but, like, it’s like, you know, I mean, like, these, like, fun, silly. That’s what I thought Peacock was. Or old NBC.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Reruns of, like, Their Old Friends. Yeah. I’m like, I don’t want to f it. And I got recommended to watch the Day of the Jackal. What’s that? Fing fantastic.
JOE ROGAN: Really?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. It’s a thriller that is super high production and very cinematic, but the writing and the acting, unbelievable.
JOE ROGAN: Who’s in it?
TOM SEGURA: Eddie Redmayne. I think that’s his name. Eddie Redmayne is the lead in it. And I don’t know that many of the names of the other actors, but it’s incredibly produced.
JOE ROGAN: Is it a series? Yeah. How many episodes?
TOM SEGURA: They’re making season two now. I think season one was 10 episodes. $120 million budget for the season. Whoa.
JOE ROGAN: I’m writing this down.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Day of the Jackal.
TOM SEGURA: Day of the Jackal was excellent.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Okay, this is.
TOM SEGURA: This is it.
JOE ROGAN: Come to the trailer and watch it. Yeah, let’s watch this trailer. It’s.
TOM SEGURA: That’s. That’s Eddie. It’s really good, dude. I couldn’t believe how captivated I was by it. Really, really well done. It’s a. Like a, you know, espionage type of thriller.
JOE ROGAN: Those are my favorite.
TOM SEGURA: Mine, too. But this is what I watch instead of, you know, we were talking about comedy. I watched this.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah? Yeah, me too.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he’s really good in it, but so is everybody else. They’re really, really good.
JOE ROGAN: Okay.
TOM SEGURA: Can’t recommend it enough.
JOE ROGAN: Okay, I’m on it.
TOM SEGURA: Really good.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. There’s enough to watch these days, I’ll tell you that.
TOM SEGURA: If you watch Dave, you’re sick.
JOE ROGAN: What do you watch?
TOM SEGURA: Dave’s special.
JOE ROGAN: Dave Chappelle. No, I didn’t see it yet.
TOM SEGURA: It’s great.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, I saw some clips.
TOM SEGURA: That’s right. I mean, it’s vintage. It’s Dave, you know, like, it hits. He does what he does so well. There’s silliness, you know, seriousness. Some philosophy. Lots of social commentary, provocative things. Hilarious. It’s good. It’s really good.
JOE ROGAN: I’ll check it out. I’m sure it’s going to be awesome. He’s always awesome. He never misses.
TOM SEGURA: He doesn’t. I mean, and I think pissed a lot of people off, which is always fun.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I saw he went after Bill Maher.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he’s a f*.
JOE ROGAN: I never said this publicly, but f* that, dude.
TOM SEGURA: That’s very funny. It’s a good special, man. It’s really good.
JOE ROGAN: It’s funny.
TOM SEGURA: Dave’s in top form.
JOE ROGAN: I love that.
The Netflix Release Schedule
TOM SEGURA: For me, by the way, because my special comes out Christmas Eve, right? And then six days later, Ricky Gervais comes out. And it was supposed, that was supposed to be, that was the release of Timeline, right? They’re like, there’s one earlier in the month, you’ll be Christmas Eve a week later, Ricky Gervais. I was like, cool.
And then three days prior, I get a call before it’s announced, and they’re like, hey, we got to tell you, we’re dropping a special, an unannounced Chappelle special tonight. And I go, great. And they’re like, they’re like, I know. You know, it’s going to take up a lot of oxygen in the room, obviously, because it’s Dave, right?
I go, yeah, I mean, I understand. I go, you, I go. You realize this is like being a musical artist, and I’ve been working on my album, and you guys, we’re so excited. And then you call me, you’re like, just so you know, tomorrow we’re releasing Radiohead’s new album. And you’re like, thanks. There’s nothing you can do. It’s the biggest guy is coming out with it, you know, but it’s hilarious. He’s great.
JOE ROGAN: But people will watch it. It’s only an hour, and then they’re going to want to watch more.
TOM SEGURA: That’s the, well, it’s good. It’s one of the thoughts is they go, it just makes stand up more popular.
JOE ROGAN: 100%. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Stand up is very popular right now.
TOM SEGURA: It’s incredibly popular.
The Arena Comedy Boom
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I mean, there’s more arena. Actually, I just saw Nate Bargatze added a 3pm show out here.
TOM SEGURA: Nate is on because, but Nate’s thing makes sense when you think about it. When you start doing stand up, there’s this thing that happens when you’re early on, young, doing stand up, and you start to do spots. A lot of people will be like, hey, if you can curse less, be clean. And you’re like, that’s not who I am. And they’re like, all right, well. And they always say this thing, you’ll get more opportunities. Different opportunities will come to you if you’re like that, right? You’re like, whatever. I just, I don’t do that.
When you’re really funny like Nate is, and you get really good. What you see on the business side of it is that when he announces a show, when I announce a show, a couple might go like, let’s go see him. Right. They’ll buy two tickets. But when Nate announces a show, that couple will bring their children, their parents, their in-laws, their neighbors. So two tickets you can sell, he could sell 12.
JOE ROGAN: And everybody’s going to enjoy it.
TOM SEGURA: And they’re all going to enjoy it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Because even though it’s just clean, it’s always clean. It’s hilarious. It’s hilarious.
TOM SEGURA: He’s really funny, but he’s really funny.
JOE ROGAN: Gaffigan has that thing too.
TOM SEGURA: Definitely. Yeah, the whole family can go.
JOE ROGAN: Sebastian has that thing too. You could bring anybody to see Sebastian and they’ll all have a good time.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. But, yeah, that he can do three f*ing arena shows in a city. It’s crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it is nuts. But there’s more people doing that now. What I mentioned Sebastian, you, Bert, Tony. I mean, there’s Shane. Shane’s doing a football arena.
TOM SEGURA: That’s crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Stadium. Yeah. He’s doing 90,000 people.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Lincoln Financial, I think it is. Just.
JOE ROGAN: There’s people doing that now where there’s so many of them. When we were coming up, the only people that had done it were Dane and Dice Clay.
TOM SEGURA: Dice.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it was Dice Clay and Dane Cook.
TOM SEGURA: And for that you have to just, you go like, that is the Internet, man. The Internet made stand up global.
JOE ROGAN: Well, the Internet made Dane.
TOM SEGURA: Right, right, right.
JOE ROGAN: That’s how it was. He got huge from MySpace. He was the first guy.
TOM SEGURA: The fact that so many of us can move those kinds of tickets. It’s because it’s global 100%. When it was just like, hey, catch my special at Comedy Central at 9 o’clock on Friday. It’s not going to have the same reach.
JOE ROGAN: Right. And it’s just clips, too. Clips get shared. And then there’s so much word of mouth. It’s like, that’s the one good thing about social media is if something comes out and people like it, whether it’s a new special that dropped or a new song or anything, it just gets shared.
TOM SEGURA: So crazy. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And things just, they just take off.
TOM SEGURA: I know, it’s what? I never, I did 40 arenas this year. I never, I was never thinking that would be a thing, you know.
Remembering the Early Days
JOE ROGAN: I remember when I met you. Yeah, I met you in 2007. We did that Real Men of Comedy tour together. Yeah, I met you in Phoenix. We did that little Hollywood theater, which I love.
TOM SEGURA: The Celebrity Theater. Celebrity theater, that’s right.
JOE ROGAN: That place is awesome.
TOM SEGURA: It’s one of my favorites in the round.
JOE ROGAN: And it spins.
TOM SEGURA: It’s awesome.
JOE ROGAN: That place rules. And I always love Phoenix, period. They’re fun. That’s a fun place.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that’s a really good place. Yeah, I went back there on this tour, too. I went to the, I did the big arena there this time. It was f*ing amazing. It was one of my favorite shows of this tour.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, Phoenix rules. Yeah, I’ve done the arena in Phoenix, too. It’s f*ing fun, man. They’re fun.
TOM SEGURA: It’s a fun city.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Because they don’t have much culture, but they do a lot of blow. They like to party.
TOM SEGURA: They party hard. Phoenix, Arizona, just parties hard.
JOE ROGAN: They party hard. Well, it’s like, think about the people that had to settle that place. First you get cowboys and Mexicans. Just f*ing wild people.
TOM SEGURA: It is, dude.
JOE ROGAN: And then you got Scottsdale, which is all rich people.
TOM SEGURA: I remember we went to dinner, I think the night before, just like a steakhouse. And we were just, we were observing that when you go to dinner at a steakhouse in Phoenix, it feels like an after party, but it’s just dinner. You know what I mean? The vibe in there is that people are having a f*ing good time.
JOE ROGAN: They’re partying.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. That’s what Phoenix feels like.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I always liked it because it was not Hollywood, you know? In every way. It was just not Hollywood.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Those people had no preconceived ideas of their own celebrity. They didn’t want to become famous. The problem with LA is the entire culture is wrapped around the possibility that you might become famous.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And that everybody really secretly wants to become famous. And some people might make it and some people won’t, but the reason why they came there in the first place.
TOM SEGURA: Is to be famous, is they want to.
JOE ROGAN: To be famous.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Phoenix, they just want coke, get some coke. I party. I’m playing golf in the day.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. And I’m doing coke and having a good time.
JOE ROGAN: They’re wild people.
Theaters in the Round
TOM SEGURA: That theater thing, too, there’s, I don’t know if I’m right about this, but I’ve been told that there’s only two, maybe three theaters left in the round in the country.
JOE ROGAN: That’s the only one that I know of.
TOM SEGURA: Well, there’s the one in Long Island that I also did, that was, it’s. So which one’s that? Westbury Music Hall, I think it’s called.
JOE ROGAN: Okay.
TOM SEGURA: Is that what it’s called?
JOE ROGAN: I’ve heard of that place. I didn’t know that was in the round.
TOM SEGURA: That’s in the round. It is so f*ing fun.
JOE ROGAN: The round rules.
TOM SEGURA: I just did it. I did it a couple months ago. It was one of the most fun shows of the entire tour.
JOE ROGAN: I try to explain to people who’ve never done it, oh, Arena. I’m telling you, it’s oddly intimate because everybody’s facing everybody else. We’re all in this together. It’s not just a mass of people staring at a stage.
TOM SEGURA: Right.
JOE ROGAN: We’re all wrapped up together.
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: It’s cooler.
TOM SEGURA: It’s cool.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. It’s a better vibe. It feels better.
TOM SEGURA: You would love this theater, I’m sure. Yeah, it was. It’s a f*ing rat.
JOE ROGAN: I love that Phoenix one. That one rules. But do any show that you could do in the round. It’s like the first time I did, I remember. I don’t know. Understand. Where do I move?
TOM SEGURA: I think the first one I did was when we met.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Because I was also.
JOE ROGAN: Might have been my first one, too.
TOM SEGURA: I was kind of intimidated. I was like, what the f* did. And then somebody told me once, might have been Louie, told me that. I think it was him that told me when I was doing the, going into arenas, he’s like, your instinct will be to stay in the middle, but you should go further out to the edges. Because when you’re further out to the outside of the stage that’s in the round, you’re actually open to more people. That make sense.
JOE ROGAN: Yes. Because if you’re on this edge of the round stage, more people can see you over here. Right.
TOM SEGURA: And you’re closer to them.
JOE ROGAN: You’re closer to them.
TOM SEGURA: You’re closer to them.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. It’s more intimate if you’re in the middle. It’s like you’re all standoffish. You have so much. You can come closer to me.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Why are you all the way over there?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that’s right.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Walking around, too, is fun.
TOM SEGURA: That, to me is, I told somebody is what I think makes my performance better is that I’m a naturally kind of standstill guy, but the round makes me move. Even though it’s subtle movement, that keeps you more engaged because there’s a constant movement to it, even if it’s slow, it’s fun. It is a fun thing.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s fun. And it is weird that so many of us get to do that now.
TOM SEGURA: It’s so bizarre.
JOE ROGAN: It wasn’t. It wasn’t the case at all.
TOM SEGURA: It’s so bizarre.
JOE ROGAN: I did some nutty ones with Dave. We did the Tacoma dome. That was 25,000 people. It was so nuts. It was so many people.
TOM SEGURA: That’s so many. But so many.
JOE ROGAN: It’s very strange.
TOM SEGURA: I did a couple with you guys. I did, I did New Orleans with you guys.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, that’s right. Yeah, that was fun.
TOM SEGURA: And I think we did Nashville or something or Memphis together too.
The Vegas Show That Changed Everything
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, I think it was Nashville.
TOM SEGURA: The most fun one though, ever. This will, I think this will always be in my memory is when we did the “Vegas is Back.” Oh, yeah. In the round.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. That was fun.
TOM SEGURA: At the MGM Arena.
JOE ROGAN: That was fun.
TOM SEGURA: And we were on it. I was unannounced. Yeah, a couple other people were too. I forget who was on that, but I remember the absolute pandemonium of that place where I was shaking because it was like things had been shut down. And they’re like, this show is back. The shows are back. And this is the show to open Vegas again.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t think we’ll ever feel that again.
TOM SEGURA: Not like that.
JOE ROGAN: Hopefully not. Because that means that the world went crazy again.
TOM SEGURA: That’s exactly right. And it was like, you can’t duplicate that. You can’t duplicate it. It’s almost like when you have an improv on, an off the cuff line of something that just happened and you can’t manufacture that. You said the thing because this happened and the world had shut down. And they’re like, here’s a stand up show in the round. In the arena. Joe, Dave. And the crowd was just, I mean, it was like a fever pitch.
JOE ROGAN: It was so fun. There were so many people hanging out backstage. Remember that? Oh, my God, there was so many people. I was like, I’ve never seen this many celebrities at our shows.
TOM SEGURA: There was a room. They were like, this is the red room. And this was backstage. And there was like 200 people in there.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, so packed.
TOM SEGURA: And I brought you in there because you didn’t know about it either. I was like, have you been in here? And you’re like, what the f* is all this whole extra room of just people hanging out. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Whole extra room of comics that I hadn’t seen in years.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Everybody was kind of celebrating the fact that we could do shows again.
TOM SEGURA: It was the best. They all came out that was such a special show.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I mean, there were boxers there, rappers. It was like people were out. It’s like, there’s something to do again. It was like there was a feeling in the air. It was so, and people, some people were still scared. There’s people still people wearing masks.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. It was July. I remember that. It was July.
JOE ROGAN: Some people just didn’t want to let it go. They were still connected to this idea that we could all die at any moment.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, that’s true.
JOE ROGAN: I still see those people.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. They’re still in some places.
JOE ROGAN: There’s some people that got broken. They got broken. They got broken. The stress of that whole thing.
TOM SEGURA: It’s also kind of depends on who you’re around, too, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think you could put me with certain people and then I would have been even more apprehensive.
Moving to Texas and Finding Freedom
JOE ROGAN: Well, that was the thing that I felt about coming here, really quickly, that people here were not nearly as scared as people are in California. The whole attitude of the government here was very different. They were like, things should stay open. I remember I went and met with the governor, had dinner with him, and he was like, “You know, we got to let people live their lives. They need freedom.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: “You should be able to make your own decisions doing this.” I was like, yeah, I agree. And this is before the vaccine, really. Yeah. And people had already started doing shows out here. We started doing shows out here early. We tested everybody. Remember we did those Stubbs shows?
TOM SEGURA: Oh, that’s right.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Dave, Dave and I did these shows at Stubbs.
TOM SEGURA: We did a whole series, which is an outdoor venue.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And we tested the whole crowd. So we tested these people for an hour before the show. Everybody queued up, everybody got tested, and we only wound up removing two different people that were positive.
TOM SEGURA: That’s it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Most people knew that they weren’t sick, you know, and we weren’t doing PCR. Right. Which is the one that really gets a lot of false positives. They found out recently there was an estimate that PCR testing the false positives might have been as high as 86%.
TOM SEGURA: 86?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. The guy who invented the PCR testing, Kerry Mullis, said it should never be used to detect diseases. It’s not what it’s for. And he said if you ramp the cycles up high enough, you could find almost anything in people.
TOM SEGURA: I did something once. It’s shameful. I had to test for a trip somewhere, and then I had to do it on a Zoom with somebody. And it came out positive. So I threw it out the window. And then they were like, where is it? I go, my kid just threw it out the window. And they’re like, what was it? I was like, I don’t remember. I’ll do it again. And then I just waited a week.
COVID Stories and Recovery
JOE ROGAN: I remember the second time I tested positive. So I tested positive once. That was a whole horse dewormer CNN thing. And then the second time I tested positive, I didn’t even know I had it. I couldn’t believe it was real. I came in here sniffily. I came in here straight from the gym, and I said, I got the sniffles. I said to Mercy, the nurse, I said, I go, must be COVID. Just joking around. And she was actually, “You’re positive?” I’m like, no f*ing way. No way.
TOM SEGURA: Because you felt fine.
JOE ROGAN: So I got IV vitamin drip, NAD the whole deal. 24 hours later, I was negative.
TOM SEGURA: That NAD s*’s amazing.
JOE ROGAN: Amazing.
TOM SEGURA: And also, I’ll say this, and this is, I’m telling you, I have, knock on wood, I have not gotten sick in a while.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, you’re healthy now.
TOM SEGURA: I’m healthy.
JOE ROGAN: That’s how it works.
TOM SEGURA: That’s how it works. But during the movie I did over the summer and during production on series first season one of my show, there were days, I remember the first day we were shooting Bad Thoughts, season one, I was getting a cold, and I did NAD, 500 milligrams or whatever. The high dose, three days in a row. And I was no longer. And I had never experienced anything like that because I was the type of person where I get a cold and I am f*ed.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: For weeks. And then the next time that I felt this, you know, you feel, you know, you’re like, oh, I’m getting sick. It would, I did, I was like, I’m doing the NAD thing again. Three days in a row. Just jamming that s* into me. High dosage completely went away.
JOE ROGAN: That’s crazy.
TOM SEGURA: It didn’t dip into, now you’re really sick. It just was like, I’m getting sick. I’m not sick anymore.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, that was part of my COVID routine. The first time I had COVID, I did NAD along with IV vitamins. I don’t even think I mentioned NAD when I did that little video that went viral. But that was, I recommend that to anybody whenever they get sick. High dose of vitamin C is amazing. Amazing.
TOM SEGURA: I can’t believe it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, high dose vitamins, intravenously when you’re not feeling well is phenomenal because it gives your body all the weapons that it needs to fight off whatever the f* it’s dealing with.
TOM SEGURA: I feel like doing it tomorrow.
JOE ROGAN: You should do it tomorrow. Yeah. Do it all the time. You know what else? You start doing it. I told you. Red light bed.
TOM SEGURA: I know. You’ve been on that for a minute.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s amazing. It’s incredible.
TOM SEGURA: You said it helps your vision.
JOE ROGAN: It helped my vision 100%.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t even understand that.
Red Light Therapy and Vision Improvement
JOE ROGAN: Well, I’m just skin stuff. Red light helps. Gets collagen or something. Put that into our sponsor, Perplexity. What is the benefits that red light has on your vision? Why does it work? But it works 100%. I can tell you for a fact, there’s two things that I’ve done. One thing, I’ve taken a lot of supplements for eyesight. I always talk about this company, Pure Encapsulations. I have no affiliation with them. I just buy their stuff. They have a thing called Macular Support. Yeah, I take that stuff. So I take that stuff and I’ve been very consistent with that. It has a bunch of nutrients. I showed it to Huberman and he went over the list and he was like, oh, this is all great stuff. I take that. And I do red light multiple days a week. And it took a while. In the beginning, I thought it was actually making my eyesight worse because I was like.
TOM SEGURA: Because your eyes are covered during it?
JOE ROGAN: No, I keep them open.
TOM SEGURA: Keep your eyes open.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Red light therapy using deep red wavelengths, around 670 nanometers. I don’t know what they mean. Nanometers shows promise in improving declining vision by boosting mitochondrial function in the retinal cells. Studies indicate benefits particularly for age related vision loss. That’s me. Macular degeneration and other eye conditions. Morning exposure appears most effective with effects lasting up to a week. So I do it. I try to do it three times a week.
TOM SEGURA: How long do you do it for?
JOE ROGAN: I do it 20 minutes. It says short sessions like three minutes weekly can enhance color contrast visioned by 17 to 20% adults over 34, with greater gains in older participants. That’s me. I’m getting it. It makes a big difference. Therapy supports retinal health by reducing inflammation, improving visual acuity and slowing photoreceptor decline. Emerging evidence also suggests help for dry eyes, myopia progression in children and diabetic retinopathy. It works.
TOM SEGURA: It works.
JOE ROGAN: I’m telling you, it works. 100% with me. I used to struggle reading the screen sometimes. It would be kind of blurry. I’d have to, Jamie, make it bigger. Now I can see things way better than I used to be when I said, Jamie, make it bigger.
TOM SEGURA: I wear glasses all the time now.
JOE ROGAN: I don’t need them when I look at text messages anymore. I don’t need them when I read emails anymore. And I don’t need them on my computer anymore, which is a big one. That’s a big one because I always used it when I wrote. And I realized the other day, oh, my God, I’m writing and I don’t have my glasses on.
TOM SEGURA: Joey Diaz will be so happy if I lose these. Ah.
JOE ROGAN: What are you doing with those f*ing glasses?
TOM SEGURA: You’re wearing your glasses.
JOE ROGAN: I called them up today. I go, I’m doing a podcast with Segura. So he met Pepe Le Pew over there in France, and now he’s making croissants. Who’s this guy with his glasses?
TOM SEGURA: Glasses. He’s always on me for that.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, that’s Joey Diaz.
TOM SEGURA: Joey. It’s not Pepe Le Pew. His name is Gianbasta, and it’s Italian. It’s an Italian bakery. Yes.
JOE ROGAN: Well, it’s a problem.
TOM SEGURA: It is.
JOE ROGAN: That chocolate croissant you gave me is a real problem.
TOM SEGURA: Telling you.
JOE ROGAN: Buttery and flaky and perfect.
TOM SEGURA: It’s perfect, dude. It’s why I fell in love.
JOE ROGAN: I a little more chocolate in there.
TOM SEGURA: I can, I can tell. I can tell.
JOE ROGAN: A little more chocolate.
TOM SEGURA: Just a little.
JOE ROGAN: Don’t be stingy with the chocolate.
TOM SEGURA: I fell in love with that chocolate croissant when I lived in LA and that, you know, that guy was in my neighborhood. Oh, that’s how this all started.
JOE ROGAN: That’s a problem.
The Croissant Connection
TOM SEGURA: And I would walk down there, and sometimes I would buy, like, two dozen. And then I would walk back to my house, and I would give away croissants to people walking down the street. I’d be like, you got to try these.
JOE ROGAN: Just regular people.
TOM SEGURA: Regular people. I didn’t even know them. Like, I just got these croissants.
JOE ROGAN: What if they thought you were psycho?
TOM SEGURA: I mean, I guess they didn’t, but they would take them, and I would eat a lot of them, too. But I stayed in touch with this guy, and I would, every once in a while, I would go there and I would get some of their pastries, and I would do like an Instagram video, like, “Hey, I’m at this place.” And I would just say it.
And then I became friends with them and they go, “Hey, you know when you do that, they’re like 100 people came today.” I was like, “Oh, that’s cool.” It was just like a friend. There was no business related doing it because I liked it.
We always stayed in touch and I moved here and I go, “When I’m in LA, I’m going to try to stop by and see you guys.” That kind of thing. And we stayed in touch and I always be like, “It would be awesome if you open one in Austin.” That conversation continued and then eventually we talked like, “Hey, what if we really did this?” And that conversation started like over a year ago. And then our fixed location will open in March, but we have a pop up right now.
JOE ROGAN: I just don’t know how you have the time for all this.
The Business of Baking
TOM SEGURA: Well, I’m not. Here’s the thing. I’m not the one. Like, I don’t bake. Right. You know, I’m a business partner in this and I market it in that, I promote it. But the easiest thing is to market something that’s fantastic, right?
And I actually thought about the fact that I was like, for me, this is like, people trust your opinion on. One of the reasons I think that Onnit was successful with you is that they’re like, “This guy knows workouts, he knows vitamins, he knows,” like, you have credibility in that. You know what I mean?
Like, having credibility in something is really important for me. It’s like, if there’s one thing I completely trust myself on is if I’m like, “This tastes good.” I don’t doubt it. I’m like, “This is good.” I know when it’s good. I’ve eaten at the best restaurants all over the world and this is like my favorite. One of my favorite things has always been croissants and things like this.
So when I had his and I knew they were amazing, it was like, there’s no, like, I’m selling it. I’m not like being like, “Ah, you should,” you know, I’m not making up. This sht’s amazing. So all I do is go like, “It’s open. It’s fing amazing.” And we’re selling. We’ve sold out every day. That’s incredible. We’ve never not sold out.
JOE ROGAN: Well, once you eat one of them, I get it.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it’s fing. And he’s always coming up with like, I, at first I was like, “Oh, we’re opening a croissant place.” But he’s doing like, you know, like the homemade focaccia bread, Italian sandwiches. He does homemade pizza. It’s all every day. And he, whatever, like, inspires him, he makes that. It’s all. He’s amazing. So it’s like the easiest thing to be like, “Yeah, this is my bakery. Yeah, I fing love it.”
Italian Deli Dreams
JOE ROGAN: I’ve thought about doing that with an Italian deli.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I’ve talked to Giovanni very briefly. The guy in New York, that place. Opening up one of those out here. How incredible would that be?
TOM SEGURA: Incredible.
JOE ROGAN: Those sandwiches I sent. Me and Joe Derosa, we send each other sandwiches.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, Joe has his sandwich place.
JOE ROGAN: Sandwich place is great.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Joey Roses is f*ing great. I sent him this place in Toronto. God, what is it called? Something crudo. Hold on a second, I’ll find it. Oh, what happened to, oh, the iPhone made everything different. Where’d you put it? There you go.
TOM SEGURA: Is that it?
JOE ROGAN: Search in the bottom. That’s it. Crude. It’s in Toronto. The sandwiches go to their Instagram. If you can go that where it says crudo pizza up there, that’s their Instagram. Go down to their Instagram and find some of their f*ing sandwiches, bro.
TOM SEGURA: Look at these f*ing sandwiches.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, bro, look at these with their homemade bread.
TOM SEGURA: Look at.
JOE ROGAN: These are insane. And the bread’s got a nice little char on it. And they, the bread comes out piping hot from the oven and they make the sandwich on this piping hot bread. Yeah, show me one of them videos where they’re pulling the sandwiches out and making them. Because there’s a few where you get to see how hot the bread is.
Scroll down a little bit. Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. Go up. No, no, no, back there, you. Oh, look at that, Tommy, look at. No, no, no, you missed it. Watch this. When he cuts it open.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, and this.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Oh, look at that. Look at this. Oh, my God, look how insane that is. This is my drug. Like this is. If I have a problem with food, it’s this. Yeah, it’s Italian cold cut sandwiches and pasta. Yeah, those are the problems. I have a real problem with not eating that.
TOM SEGURA: You know, he said olive oil on it. Look how he seals it up. Look at this.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, look how it comes out of the oven, bro. Are you kidding me?
TOM SEGURA: You know what my guy started making now? He’s just on a whim. He’s like, “I made a lasagna today.”
JOE ROGAN: Oh, no.
TOM SEGURA: And then he’s doing, like, different versions of it. Did one with, like, brisket in it. Like, just crazy things. And it just goes.
JOE ROGAN: Of course.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: It’s called.
Chicho Bomba
TOM SEGURA: By the way, it’s called Chicho Bomba, which is what you call. Yeah, it’s the name of the bakery. It’s called Chicho Bomba, which is what you call a little fat a kid in Italy, because bombas, like, explode. So, like, when it gets a little fat a.
JOE ROGAN: That’s funny. It’s called fat a.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it’s called little fat a.
JOE ROGAN: Little fat a kid.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That’s hilarious. Great idea, dude.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he’s awesome. Him and Marlo.
The Battle Against Weight
JOE ROGAN: It’s hard staying thin in it, especially now you’re in the 180s.
TOM SEGURA: It’s. It is.
JOE ROGAN: You could let it go. You could let it go.
TOM SEGURA: I could let it go.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Look at you.
JOE ROGAN: Look at you. They got excited about letting it go.
TOM SEGURA: I own a bakery.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Just not text your trainer back.
TOM SEGURA: And when I stop by there, too, you know, it’s like, I have access to all of this.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. You could eat free. Oh, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And then whatever you want, you can have them.
JOE ROGAN: Make you things.
TOM SEGURA: I give. I give. I take a bite of things, and I’m like, “That’s delicious.” And then I stop myself. I’ll let myself have a full thing. But not every day, dude. Not even. Not even every few days. Like, once a week, maybe.
LA Food Memories
JOE ROGAN: When I used to come home from the store, two things were a problem. One of them was Jerry’s Famous Deli. I would go, remember Jerry’s Famous Deli? They’re gone now. Isn’t that amazing?
TOM SEGURA: Jerry’s Deli’s gone.
JOE ROGAN: Jerry’s Deli’s gone. There was one in Woodland Hills that’s gone. That was the one I used to go to all the time. I think. I think they’re all gone now. I don’t know if any of them still exist. Hopefully one still exists.
Jerry Famous Deli was f*ing great. They had the best chicken noodle soup, man. It ruled. And they had pastrami Reubens. Oh, pastrami Reubens with steak fries. They were so good. And if I was hungry coming home from the store, that would be the spot.
The other spot that was a real problem was Krispy Kreme motherf*ing donuts. I would drive by, and I’d see that hot sign on cheeseburgers, too.
TOM SEGURA: You are a problem.
JOE ROGAN: In and out’s problem.
TOM SEGURA: It’s a problem.
JOE ROGAN: That’s a problem.
TOM SEGURA: There was that one in West Hollywood that I used to love. I forget the name of that place. It was right near where I was working in post production. Burgers were f*ing unbelievable.
JOE ROGAN: Another problem was Cantors.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, Cantor’s Deli.
JOE ROGAN: I think that’s why it’s still open. That was open 24 hours a day.
TOM SEGURA: That was post show fun.
JOE ROGAN: Always. Yeah, great. Post show fun.
The Power of Delusion
TOM SEGURA: I told you this before because, you know, the power of delusion is strong. Is that when and I would tour with you? This is like, I would say like 2009, 2010. Delta Terminal used to be Terminal 5 at LAX. Sometimes we would get back and we would land because we land in the morning, right. We did the show the night before.
They had like a little deli bakery, coffee place that had really good chocolate croissants.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, I remember that place. Yeah, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And sometimes we would. We’d be walking by and you’d get one. I was like, “Well, Joe got one, I should get one.” Like, he’s in shape. I’m in shape. Like, I just tell myself like, “You can eat this because you would.” How you love those. I remember those chocolate croissants rule.
JOE ROGAN: That’s why when you brought this one, I was like, “Oh, that’s a problem.”
TOM SEGURA: It’s a problem.
JOE ROGAN: But they weren’t as good as that.
TOM SEGURA: No. F* no.
JOE ROGAN: The ones at LAX were pretty good. They were okay.
TOM SEGURA: This is like a. It’s no sh*t. This is like a three day process. That’s how long it takes for them to make a batch of. Yeah, yeah. Like proofing the bread and it stays in this cabinet and they pull. I mean, it’s a whole process. And it’s. He has a. He makes like sfogliatella, which is like, it’s.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, he said it that way.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, and bombalone, you know, like, just like incredible pastries, man, that like, when you see them, you’re just like, “Don’t get fat, bro.”
JOE ROGAN: It’s so easy to get fat. Getting fat’s a giant problem.
TOM SEGURA: The older you get, you’re just like, “This could be real easy.”
JOE ROGAN: Especially if you got obligations, you got things to do and you’re tired, you’re working.
Workout Philosophy
TOM SEGURA: I need structure to do. That’s what I’ve learned.
JOE ROGAN: I get it. I need peace and quiet. So I like working out by myself.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, Yeah. I don’t.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, I like working out with comics. Sometimes we do those comic workouts here.
TOM SEGURA: Those are.
JOE ROGAN: Those are really fun. But for me, like, my time working out when I’m, like, suffering by myself. I need that.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I need by myself. I don’t want anybody talking to me about what they saw in the news. Just asking me.
TOM SEGURA: Quotes zone out.
JOE ROGAN: “What’s J.D. Vance like?” Yeah. I’m here to f*ing get after it.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. I just.
JOE ROGAN: My problem, demons.
TOM SEGURA: One of my problems is when I get. And I know this from Pat, you just realize you have patterns. Is that when I get to, like, a good place and relax. Yeah. And I do it when people are like, “You look good.” Yeah. And then I go, “Oh, I’m done.” You know, that’s been my pattern.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: So this time I’ve just been like, “Do not accept that thought.”
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: You know?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: You can’t.
JOE ROGAN: There’s no end.
TOM SEGURA: There’s no end.
JOE ROGAN: Finish line.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Doesn’t exist. Every day is a new, unique little battle with your inner bitch.
TOM SEGURA: It’s really the truth. It is the truth.
JOE ROGAN: That’s what it is. Every day you wake up, you go to war with your inner bitch. That’s why it’s good to beat it early. Beat that fer down early. Get in the cold water, freeze your fing dick off. Get that f*ing workout in. Get in the sauna afterwards.
TOM SEGURA: And then you’re good. I’m good today. Today.
JOE ROGAN: Today.
TOM SEGURA: But the food is the bigger challenge for me. I won’t say that workouts aren’t hard. They’re hard. And I like it. I like the challenge. Staying on top of how to eat is the bigger challenge.
The Exercise Peptide Revolution
JOE ROGAN: Well, there’s a problem, too, with all these new medical advancements. And one of them is there’s a new peptide that they’re showing is essentially like exercise in an injection.
TOM SEGURA: That sloop, I don’t know what it is.
JOE ROGAN: I read some article about it quite a while ago, and I sent it to Brigham. What is this? He’s like, dude, there’s so much stuff on the horizon, so much groundbreaking stuff, but you’re basically going to be able to get the benefits of exercise in a peptide. So it’ll trick your body to think you exercise.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, sloop does that.
JOE ROGAN: Is that what it is?
TOM SEGURA: That’s one of the ones that does. It’s in a pill form.
JOE ROGAN: I haven’t heard about these. So it’s a sloop.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Have you taken that?
TOM SEGURA: I have taken it, yeah. I don’t have any.
JOE ROGAN: What did it do for you? You got some on you?
TOM SEGURA: I’m the, listen, I’m like a crack addict. If you tell me something will be good, I’ll be like, cool. I’ll inject like 40 things into myself.
JOE ROGAN: What does this Sloop do?
TOM SEGURA: Well, they did, they tested it on mice and found that by giving it to mice, they decrease their body fat and increased muscle lean mass.
JOE ROGAN: Doing nothing.
TOM SEGURA: Doing nothing.
JOE ROGAN: Wow.
TOM SEGURA: And so then they have started to, that’s it right there. Sloop 332.
JOE ROGAN: In obese mouse models, sloop 332 reduced fat gain by up to tenfold compared to controls. Promoted 12% body weight loss and enhanced metabolic function without altering appetite or activity levels. Yeah, it’s exercise.
TOM SEGURA: It’s exercise, dude.
JOE ROGAN: Exercise in a peptide. And you took it in a pill?
TOM SEGURA: Yes.
JOE ROGAN: And so what did it feel like when you took it?
TOM SEGURA: Nothing. Felt nothing.
JOE ROGAN: I’m getting that s* tomorrow. Yeah, I’m on it. Let’s go.
TOM SEGURA: Let’s go.
JOE ROGAN: What happened to your Peckhart? Did it get excited?
TOM SEGURA: Hell yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. 24.
TOM SEGURA: 7.
JOE ROGAN: That’s what these goddamn things do. And you can just buy that stuff or is that a prescription thing?
TOM SEGURA: I don’t think it’s a prescription. No, you can just buy it, but I think you just have to go to a compound pharmacy or something.
JOE ROGAN: That kind of place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re trying to shut those places down.
TOM SEGURA: Are they FDA?
JOE ROGAN: They want to own all that stuff.
TOM SEGURA: There you go.
JOE ROGAN: There it is. Bam. Amazon. All over Amazon. Good or not. I don’t know.
TOM SEGURA: Just, I don’t know.
Supplement Quality and Global Standards
JOE ROGAN: Check your own sources. One of the things that I’ve read about Amazon is that there’s a lot of fake supplements on Amazon.
TOM SEGURA: Are there?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, because how does that work? How are they even getting up on Amazon? I think that, well, that’s a whole different thing, but they’re just copying the labels.
TOM SEGURA: And stuff, making it look like it.
JOE ROGAN: I’ve heard that’s a problem with pure encapsulation. So I started buying their stuff from their website because I read that. Because I read that a high percentage was fraud.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t know if you’ve ever researched this, but apparently when I was in Abu Dhabi, they were like, they have what’s considered some of the cleanest vitamins. People go there just to get vitamins in the UAE.
JOE ROGAN: Really?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, really high level vitamins for some reason. And I don’t know what the thought is on that, but a lot of people that travel in that region go to UAE to get their vitamins.
JOE ROGAN: That’s interesting.
TOM SEGURA: I don’t know if their standard is just higher.
JOE ROGAN: Well, they have so much money and they also, you know, Sheikh Taknun is a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt.
TOM SEGURA: Like a legit bad motherf*er.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Enzo Gracie black belt. And he’s the one that created this Abu Dhabi combat club that the championship.
TOM SEGURA: He’s also incredibly fit. Like, his cardio is, I was talking to somebody.
Legit Black Belts in Hollywood
JOE ROGAN: No, he’s a legit black belt. He’s a Henzo Gracie black belt, which is, you know, there’s levels of black belts out there where you heard about a guy got a black belt from this guy. I never heard of that guy. I don’t know who that guy is, but I’m sure it was good.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And then you hear about someone got a black belt from Henzo. You’re like, oh, like, Guy Ritchie is a Henzo Gracie black belt.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Guy Ritchie is super legit, man. Yeah, I know. Guys have rolled with him. They’re like, dude, he’s legit.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Which is.
JOE ROGAN: It’s like a Jake Paul thing. Like, you don’t think Jake Paul can’t fight.
TOM SEGURA: What’s his name? Isn’t the guy from Married With Children?
JOE ROGAN: Ed O’Neill, Legit Gracie black belt. Yeah. He got his black belt from Hori, I think Horian, or at least that school. We got it from Gracie Torrance.
TOM SEGURA: That was a surprise one to me. I was like, really?
JOE ROGAN: Oh, he’s legit, too. Yeah. I sat next to him once on a plane randomly, and we spent the entire flight just talking about Jiu Jitsu.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: He was so excited.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, that’s cool. There he is.
JOE ROGAN: Yes. 2007. Yeah. Horian Gracie. I was right. Two decades of training under Horian Gracie, that is another 42.
TOM SEGURA: Wow.
JOE ROGAN: That’s another very legit black belt. You get a black belt from Horian, you have a real black belt. But he was, he’s a big guy, man. He was a football player back in the day. Wow. Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: That’s awesome, man.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he’s legit. So we were just, like I said, we were just randomly on a plane, and we just started talking about Jiu Jitsu. We were both like little kids.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: That’s cool.
JOE ROGAN: Then I ran into him another time randomly in Hawaii, in the ocean. I was in the ocean. I ran into him.
TOM SEGURA: That’s cool.
JOE ROGAN: I was like, hey, what are you doing, man?
TOM SEGURA: He’s great. I think he’s a very nice guy.
The Actor’s Wall
JOE ROGAN: Very nice guy. Too easy guy to talk to, like, regular person. You know, there’s certain actors. I feel like we have to get through this little wall of, are you cool? Is this okay to talk to you? Are you going to be mean to me?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: It’s a thing. And they think they get weird around comics, too, because they didn’t want to wind up in your act.
TOM SEGURA: I got so lucky doing that movie over the summer in that I had the best actors, as far as just fun, awesome people.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, that’s nice.
TOM SEGURA: You know, I mean.
JOE ROGAN: Did you know they were fun before you work with them?
TOM SEGURA: No. And that’s, and you know, it was funny is that they’re regular act, they go from set to set to set. Right. And they kept telling me they were like, you know, this is really special what’s happening here. And I’d be like, what do you mean? They’re like, this is awesome. Everyone’s having the best time every day. Everyone’s hanging out. We’re all going to dinner together. We’re hanging out on weekends. Everyone likes each other. It was the best experience.
JOE ROGAN: I think actors sometimes are so competitive with each other.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, we didn’t. None of that. People were just, and when you do have a cool vibe, like, we had, everyone’s just trying to make every scene better.
JOE ROGAN: Right. You know?
TOM SEGURA: And you want the guy to be, I want him to be super funny in this because it’s going to be funny in the movie.
JOE ROGAN: Well, it’s like, stereotypes get created because of the worst people in whatever category you’re talking about. And if you’re talking about actors, it’s not all of them. Some of them are really cool.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, of course.
JOE ROGAN: Like Chris Pratt. I’ve hung out with that guy a bunch of times. He’s really cool.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Easy to hang out with giant movie star, but so normal.
TOM SEGURA: Right?
JOE ROGAN: I went elk hunting with that guy.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yes. Super cool guy to everybody. Easy to talk to. We’re eating dinner together, all hanging out with guys, f*ing so normal.
TOM SEGURA: It’s rare.
JOE ROGAN: Just happens to be a famous actor.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: So normal. But there’s guys like that, that you meet him and you go, oh, okay. Like, Woody Harrelson, the f*ing nicest guy, man.
TOM SEGURA: Woody seems awesome.
JOE ROGAN: So easy to hang. You can’t get a hold of him. He’s got no phone, he’s got no email.
TOM SEGURA: You had, and I’m just a huge fan, but I saw a clip where you had a Billy Bob Thornton on.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, he’s the best dude.
TOM SEGURA: I can watch that guy do f*ing anything.
JOE ROGAN: The best to talk to, too. So easy to talk to.
The Art of Acting
TOM SEGURA: And the other one, I think you had him on, too. But I always see this guy in interviews, and it’s always, I end up sharing it with everybody. Is Ethan Hawke.
JOE ROGAN: Ethan Hawke’s great.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, his wisdom and his philosophy on art and on life. I’m like, this guy’s like a messiah. He’s just so fascinating to listen to.
JOE ROGAN: Well, he’s a real artist. Really loves. I asked him this question because I’ve always wanted to know, is this the same thing as being in the zone and other things? What happens when you’re doing a scene or why is it so believable? I know you’re Ethan Hawke. I know that’s Denzel Washington. I know that you guys are acting, but yet I’m in.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I’m in.
JOE ROGAN: What is that? Yeah, he talked about that. It is what it is with stand up. It’s like a hypnosis. It’s like they’re hypnotized. They’re so locked in, and they believe so much what they’re saying that you believe it too.
TOM SEGURA: It’s truth. It’s that the scene reads as true. They’re not making, you know, there’s times when you’re watching something and you’re like, I don’t buy that. And that’s why you step out. Step out. Because you’re like, that’s not.
JOE ROGAN: It’s performative.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
The Art of Authentic Performance
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. You realize that someone is performing rather than being really locked into it, whatever it is.
TOM SEGURA: Somebody said one time, and I totally agree. It’s like, one of the reasons why we revere Denzel so much is, like, every time he’s on screen, you believe every choice that he makes.
JOE ROGAN: Yes.
TOM SEGURA: You know, you’re just like, I believe that.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. There’s only a few people like that, you know, Claire Danes is definitely one of them.
TOM SEGURA: She’s fantastic.
JOE ROGAN: So good, dude. I mean, I don’t want to give away any parts of it, but there’s this one part where she finds something out and her f*ing whole face starts shaking.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I was like, how are you even doing that?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, it’s.
JOE ROGAN: She starts breathing heavy. Nothing freaks me out more than someone that finds out something crazy and doesn’t have a physical reaction to it, because anybody that’s ever had anything crazy happen to him, your heart starts racing.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. You can’t breathe. Yeah, it’s. And some people just don’t nail that. But she, she nailed it so hard. I felt like she really believed it.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You know, and I believe. I’m like, oh, my God.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, you start freaking out, too.
JOE ROGAN: If that scene was so good that I, as I was watching, I was like, “Damn, she’s good.” Yeah, that’s what I was thinking during the scene. I was like, “Damn, she’s good.”
TOM SEGURA: You have to call me when you finish this.
JOE ROGAN: I will.
TOM SEGURA: It’s, it’s so good.
JOE ROGAN: She ruled in Homeland, too. She was great in that, too.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, she’s really a tremendous actress.
Claire Danes and the CIA
JOE ROGAN: Did you ever see the conversation she had? She had a conversation with f*ing, what’s his name, the vaccine dancer guy, Colbert. And, like, she was talking about the CIA being involved in all sorts of different things and see if you can find it, because he, like, changes the subject, like, immediately.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, because she’s, like, saying wild s* about the CIA. Well, the CIA being involved in, I forget exactly the context of what you were saying something. Here it is spy camp for US Producers and writers and.
TOM SEGURA: Really? Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: So we park ourselves in a club.
TOM SEGURA: In Georgetown and talk to, like, real.
JOE ROGAN: Spooks and, you know, people in the intelligence community and.
TOM SEGURA: And the State Department and journalists and people who really. What do they tell you that, like, what’s the most appropriate thing that they’ve told you about their jobs or something? You would need to know. Well, every year it’s different, right.
JOE ROGAN: We’ve been at it for a while.
TOM SEGURA: And the climate has changed, but this year it was all about, you know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world. And the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they’re. How long ago did you start shooting this?
JOE ROGAN: How long ago you started doing this show? The intelligence community aligns itself with, with journalists to try to get rid of the President?
TOM SEGURA: I had one time. This is not the same thing, but I had a, I know somebody who was very high up, I’ll just say, in the intelligence community and is older now, and I have a relationship with them. And I was talking. Sometimes we would talk through, it was through, you know, my parents that knew these people, and I was. I would love to talk to this person because they were so, not just well informed, intelligent, like, fun to have a conversation with.
And I was on the phone with them, and as I asked the question, they go, “Not on the phone.” And I, and I kind of was, like, repeating myself. I think I go, “Not on the phone.” I was like, oh. Like, it just, it was one of those moments where I felt. I was like, oh, okay. I was like, yeah, I’ll see you later.
JOE ROGAN: Sorry. I got so scared.
TOM SEGURA: Like, I felt like I violated.
JOE ROGAN: I’m sure every phone call they make is being recorded. Yeah, yeah. If you have inside information about something very important, you’re supposed to stay secret about it. Yeah. And you start blabbing, that’s hanging out in Scottsdale doing blow.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Talking about Syria. Oh, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You wind up getting whacked by some crazy person that kills himself.
TOM SEGURA: Car accident or something. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Something happens.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
The MIT Fusion Assassination
JOE ROGAN: You know about this MIT fusion guy that got assassinated.
TOM SEGURA: Mm.
JOE ROGAN: Supposedly the same guy who assassinated the MIT fusion guy also went to Brown University and shot people at Brown and then killed himself.
TOM SEGURA: Really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. And a lot of people are like, what? This guy was working on groundbreaking energy. He was working on fusion at MIT, and he was also talking about the poles, the Earth’s poles shifting, and that this is a natural process that happens that we have to do to keep our magnetosphere that protects us from the f*ing rays of space.
TOM SEGURA: What is our world, dude? What is happening?
JOE ROGAN: There’s a lot of people that get killed because they are inventing things that are going to disrupt industries. That’s what I believe.
TOM SEGURA: And this is why we scroll, take six hours on TikTok. Just like, I don’t want to f*ing.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, you don’t want to know. You don’t want certain things you don’t want to know. And Kurt Metzger texts me.
TOM SEGURA: All of them.
JOE ROGAN: Really? Text me, all of them. Everything that I don’t want to know. They, it shows up. I’m like, f. Or Dylan, Tim Dillon texts me, and I text it to them, too, if I find something out. Because there’s just so much nutty s in the world where you’re like, what is going on? Like, people getting whacked. And, yeah, it can overwhelm you.
TOM SEGURA: It can overwhelm you. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And I know so many people that are, like, legitimately mentally ill because they dwell on that stuff all day long.
TOM SEGURA: Which is why we need the escape.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
Social Media and Mental Health
JOE ROGAN: You need something. And you also should limit your amount of time you’re exposed to all that psychotic behavior, because it starts shaping the way you view people. If you interact with people more on social media than you do in real life, it can really f* your head up.
TOM SEGURA: So many people do that.
JOE ROGAN: A lot of people.
TOM SEGURA: A lot of people do that.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Especially. That was one of the real problems during COVID too. So people were isolated, and that was the only way they were interacting with each other.
TOM SEGURA: The f*ed up thing is you realize how much those people end up like losing that connection with other, like, real people. They think that this is.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: They think this is real life, is the real world.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: They live in the comment section.
JOE ROGAN: It’s crazy. It’s just such a, like, it’s like eating food that has no nutrients in it and your body’s just freaking out, like, where the f are the vitamins? There’s no vitamins in it. It’s just nonsense. And it’s also. I was like, what percentage of it is even real people? It’s not a hundred. There’s a bunch of it. It’s just like bad actors from other countries and people with fing flags in their bios and who knows what is going on.
And it’s all just to try to shape narratives. We’re involved in it. Russia’s involved, China’s involved. Corporations are involved. There’s like entire companies that are based around crowd campaigns about organizing attacks on individuals, organizing narrative control or organizing pushing a certain narrative. Entire businesses are built on that. Where they try to shape things and make things go viral. Yeah, it’s nuts.
TOM SEGURA: There’s, oh my God, there’s so much complete.
JOE ROGAN: New part of our society that didn’t exist before and it shapes the way we view the world and it’s being purposely manipulated by people and it’s legal because safeguards haven’t put into place.
TOM SEGURA: And also the amount of times that like people are talking to bots.
JOE ROGAN: Mm.
TOM SEGURA: And like losing themselves. I don’t mean like a scam. I mean like f*ing interacting. Just like with, you’re interacting with a computer right now.
Online Scams and Manipulation
JOE ROGAN: Uh huh. Yeah, all the time. I started getting these weird WhatsApp group texts of investors, people investing in things and how much money they’re making. “This is incredible. Sign me up.” And like, like all these random fake people will be in the little group chat talking about how, “Oh, I can’t wait to get involved in this. You know, I’m going to go all in on this.” And then trying to get you to go, “Whoa, I should go all in.”
TOM SEGURA: I want to go all in too.
JOE ROGAN: I should give you my bank account number.
TOM SEGURA: Bigger position.
JOE ROGAN: Can I wire some money to you?
TOM SEGURA: F*, man.
JOE ROGAN: And so many dumbasses get sucked into things like that.
TOM SEGURA: The best though is when it happens to like, somebody will be like, “I sent 80 grand to Brad Pitt.” And you’re like, what? They’re like, “Brad Pitt was like messaging me” and it’s just like some 60 year old lady and she was like, “It was, you know, it just felt so real” and it’s like, it’s, it’s like a deep fake. He’s like, “Hi, Amanda. How are you today, my love? If you could just send me $30,000.”
JOE ROGAN: To get out of this.
TOM SEGURA: And then she’s like, “And I did it. I feel like an idiot.” And you’re like, yeah. You f*ing thought Brad Pitt needed 30 grand.
Allowed Scams: Televangelists
JOE ROGAN: Well, here’s the thing. If you’ve got a scam, like, there’s certain scams we allow, right?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, here’s one. Televangelist. We allow that scam.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Because if you’re so dumb that you think Robert Tilden is, got a red line, direct line to Jesus.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You know, go ahead, write a check to me. Yeah, he’s going to win.
TOM SEGURA: He bought, like a G4.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, they all do. They all do. This is the one crazy guy that was pointing at the reporter with the devil.
TOM SEGURA: That’s the one.
JOE ROGAN: No, that’s not Robert Tilde.
TOM SEGURA: No, but that’s the guy.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. He bought that guy because she was.
TOM SEGURA: Asking him about that.
JOE ROGAN: Gave me such a deal. Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Well, he’s just.
JOE ROGAN: I had to take this blank.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, my God, that guy looks crazy.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he looks scary. But that scam, we allow, you know, we allow certain scams.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, we let that one go.
JOE ROGAN: Like, if you’re so dumb that you buy into that, like, that’s not even illegal.
TOM SEGURA: I do feel so, so bad, though, when it happens to the elderly. I feel so terrible for them.
JOE ROGAN: It’s terrible. That guy, this guy. Kenneth Copeland.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. This guy.
JOE ROGAN: What is, dirty fingers. Imagine that dirty finger in your.
TOM SEGURA: Here’s my plane, y’all.
JOE ROGAN: Wealthy televangelist defends using private aircraft in viral exchange.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah. Medea gave me.
JOE ROGAN: Do all of his work. Do all that work. Preacher who wants 54 million dollar jet will donate old jet. What a good guy. What a sweet guy. Which, that guy, Jesse Duplantis. Sid. Like those guys. We allow that. We allow that kind of.
TOM SEGURA: Which is crazy. They should be in prison. They’re f*ing scumbags.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. But they’re getting people to voluntarily.
The Dark Side of Wealth and Religion
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I know. Which is weird. Then there was the guy, the one.
JOE ROGAN: I asked his congregation for 65 million to buy a jet.
TOM SEGURA: You remember the one that was like, locked the doors and that was the whole scandal. He’s like, “Shut the doors. Lock the doors.”
JOE ROGAN: Oh, for what?
TOM SEGURA: For donations. He’s like, “We are not…” Oh, that’s right. That’s right. “We’re not leaving until you shut the doors.”
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Who is that guy? Pastor locks church door demands $40,000.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Ushers close the doors.
JOE ROGAN: A hundred. There’s a thousand of you. “Close them doors. Ushers, close the doors.” That is so crazy. That’s so crazy. Lock the doors, people f*ing. Well, there was a thing during the… What is it? Katrina or what was it, down in Houston. So one of the floods with that dude, the famous one. Oh, yeah, the guy that has the big arena. Yeah. What’s his name?
TOM SEGURA: What is his name?
JOE ROGAN: F*’s name. Jamie.
TOM SEGURA: You know, I’m talking about big s* eating grin.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Black hair.
JOE ROGAN: Joel Osteen. Osteen. That guy. Yeah, yeah.
TOM SEGURA: He wouldn’t let the homeless go.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can’t go. No, no, no.
TOM SEGURA: Like, we need…
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Places to put people. Not in here. Yeah, it’s going to be gross.
JOE ROGAN: People have lost their homes. No, no, no, no. You can’t s* on my floor.
TOM SEGURA: No. Get out of here. The power of Christ.
JOE ROGAN: I think he did eventually let everybody in under pressure.
TOM SEGURA: Well, I think eventually shamed him into it.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. He realized, like, oh, yeah, I got to… What would Jesus do? Yeah, Jesus. More people to clean up.
TOM SEGURA: Jesus would get the all new global 7500. Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Jesus would get a new Rolls Royce.
TOM SEGURA: Unreal.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they all do it, though.
TOM SEGURA: That’s what’s funny.
JOE ROGAN: They all have super expensive suits and tax free.
TOM SEGURA: Right.
JOE ROGAN: This is religion. That’s the nuttiest part. That’s the weird part about the scam, is that you’re allowed to be tax free. That is weird.
Corporate Tax Loopholes and Wealth Inequality
TOM SEGURA: It is weird. It’s also weird when you think about what happens on the corporate level. That there’s these corporations that make like hundreds of billions of dollars and they’re like, “Yeah, they didn’t pay tax on this because they’re this corporation.”
JOE ROGAN: Right. Those are tax loopholes, though.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. Well, they’ll funnel it to Ireland and then not pay tax on it.
JOE ROGAN: Well, supposedly, that’s what Jeffrey Epstein did.
TOM SEGURA: For people found those tax loopholes.
JOE ROGAN: People with tax loopholes. And, you know, he helped rich people figure out how to save money. Tax money.
TOM SEGURA: It exists for a reason. Right.
JOE ROGAN: Well, scumbags.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: They’ve all put it in place.
TOM SEGURA: You know, powers that be go.
JOE ROGAN: I got you. They just want to make sure that they keep the most amount of money possible.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And then there’s that thing where, like, no one should be a billionaire. Well, okay, hang on. Do you like having a f*ing iPhone?
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Somebody had to make that. They’re working 16 hours a day. They like, you don’t want to be Tim Cook. I’m not saying…
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: You know, I’m saying you don’t want to be Steve Jobs. Guy died young because of it.
TOM SEGURA: But I guess the argument that some people make against that is not that that guy shouldn’t be wealthy, it’s that when they have this overabundance of wealth and that the people that also work there don’t have, like, certain health coverage.
JOE ROGAN: Or something, you’re like, really?
TOM SEGURA: Like, these Amazon warehouse guys are like, f*ing dying in the warehouse.
JOE ROGAN: Are they?
TOM SEGURA: Well, I mean, they talk about these work conditions that are sometimes deplorable. Right. And then you have the people at the top with, like, hundreds of billions of dollars. Like, you can’t trickle any of that down to, like, some of your workers. That always seems like a legit complaint from people to me.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, for sure.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, listen, if they didn’t work, you would have nothing.
TOM SEGURA: Exactly.
JOE ROGAN: That’s what’s weird.
TOM SEGURA: This guy’s doing like, he’s making like $15 an hour, but if he didn’t…
JOE ROGAN: Start the company, they wouldn’t have a job.
TOM SEGURA: True.
JOE ROGAN: But, you know, at a certain point in time, like, spread it around.
TOM SEGURA: Spread it around a little bit.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, spread it around. Seems like probably better for everybody if you spread it around. Maybe people wouldn’t hate as much. There’s always going to be people that, like, you should donate it all. I mean, that’s like the beautiful utopian…
Billionaire Philanthropy
TOM SEGURA: There is that one that did it too. Was it the Patagonia guy? Did he… I think it’s the Patagonia guy that became a legit billionaire and donated almost every f*ing penny of it. I think it’s him.
JOE ROGAN: You know that song “I’d Love to Change the World.” “I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do.”
TOM SEGURA: Is that right, Jamie?
JOE ROGAN: Was it him?
TOM SEGURA: I make a type in Patagonia. I just first just typed in billionaire that gave…
JOE ROGAN: Donated everything and another guy popped up. There’s probably a bunch of those.
TOM SEGURA: It’s one of the outdoor apparel people. It’s an outdoor apparel billionaire who literally, I think, gave away like 98% of his… Patagonia guy. Yeah, the dude, like, kept, like, where…
JOE ROGAN: Did he give it to? Because somebody probably took his money. They’re probably living on a yacht somewhere. That’s the problem.
TOM SEGURA: I think he gave it to, like, a lot of land preservation type of things.
JOE ROGAN: Good stuff.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Things that make sense. Okay.
TOM SEGURA: I’m pretty sure.
JOE ROGAN: Smart. If you’re an outdoor company. Yeah. And that’s what you love.
TOM SEGURA: But it is like that almost unbelievable, you know, I mean, level of generosity that a guy won in capitalism. And to that degree. And was like…
JOE ROGAN: He probably did mushrooms one day. He was like, “What am I doing? What am I doing?”
TOM SEGURA: I’m living in…
JOE ROGAN: This is a prison.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I’m being imprisoned by all this money. Yeah, maybe.
Sam Walton’s Humble Lifestyle
TOM SEGURA: Sam Walton was apparently, like, pretty down to earth, too, you know, the Walmart guy.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Got started.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, he drove his, like, old pickup truck even when s* was like, really? I mean, he died a long time ago. His kids don’t live like that.
JOE ROGAN: I would have yelled at him. He had an old pickup truck. If I was Joey Diaz. “The f are you doing with this old pickup truck? You’re balling now, csucker. Yeah. Get a f*ing Cadillac at least.”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. His, his, his… You know, children and grandchildren live a very different life, of course.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah. They’re Nepo babies. Yeah. Yeah. That’s not good. That’s a tough way to live. It is. When Forbes named Sam Walton America’s richest man, October 28, 1985, people were shocked to discover he lived a humble life in Bentonville, Arkansas, with a muddy bird dog running around the yard. He was America’s richest man in 1985. They’re also surprised. Choice of vehicles. 1979 Ford F150. But as Sam said, “Why do I drive a pickup truck? What am I supposed to do? Haul my dogs around in a Rolls Royce?”
TOM SEGURA: Just wondered who he was. Yeah. Also, it’s different, I think, when you… He made it to that level as, like, a regular. He was already… And he was already, like, in his 40s or something. 50s. Like, it was just different. Him, he wasn’t… He wasn’t handed anything.
JOE ROGAN: Don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget who you are. C*sucker.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, he didn’t.
JOE ROGAN: Well, some people do.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: That is weird too, right? It’s weird when people change, like, radically.
TOM SEGURA: So radically. Yeah, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And…
TOM SEGURA: But also, that level of wealth is, like, not something that most people can even…
JOE ROGAN: No, you can’t comprehend. Billions. He was the richest man in the world.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: He drove a pickup truck with a bunch of dogs like, what are you doing with your money?
Murder in Monaco
TOM SEGURA: I was watching that documentary about the murder in Monaco.
JOE ROGAN: Did you watch that one? No. What’s that one?
TOM SEGURA: That one was about a guy who was one of the 200 wealthiest people in the world. Saffron, I think is his last name. He was a banker and he lived an ostentatious life. I mean, like, out of control, humongous villas. He had 25 security guards around him at all times.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, my God.
TOM SEGURA: And was like a target. And he was murdered in his penthouse in Monaco.
JOE ROGAN: What was he doing that everybody wanted him dead?
TOM SEGURA: He just had a lot of… Well, one of the things is that he invested or was like one of the people that got this Russian… I don’t know if it was Russian crypto, some type of currency or stock market in Russia that collapsed when Russia devalued their currency by like 75% all of a sudden, one year. So billions of dollars disappeared from people. And so he became like a target of the Russians.
But he also had connections to a lot of governments. When you’re a high level banker with banks everywhere, you’re deeply connected to some like, not so great people. And so there was always, like, who did it? And then his wife, who it was… She’s… I think she was… He was her fourth husband. Also had two other husbands die. One of them was like the richest guy in Brazil. He died.
And then people suspected that this guy Safran’s nurse may have killed him. And there was this, what the documentary was about. And they interviewed him. And like the documentary supposed… Like when the documentary… Male nurse who… And he was convicted. He was convicted and he served like 10 years. And then he’s in the documentary during the interview, right? Like, they keep interviewing him and other people.
And then it’s like the documentary ends. And then the documentary filmmaker is like, “This was where the documentary was supposed to end. But this guy who we just did this documentary about, this male nurse, as we were in post production on this, got arrested for…” He did like some forged check s*, I think maybe in Arizona and got locked up. And his cellmate was like, “Yeah, he tried to hire me to kill his ex wife.”
So then he got put on trial for soliciting to murder his ex wife. And then they go and interview him again. He was like, “Nah, it’s all bulls*, man. I’m telling you this.” Like, he’s like, “It’s a…” It’s very strange. And it’s… It’s like, it’s one of those things where you’re like, you don’t think it’s the guy. And then you do think it’s the guy.
JOE ROGAN: What’s it called?
TOM SEGURA: I think it’s called “Murder in Monaco.”
JOE ROGAN: Monaco is a crazy place. Have you been there?
TOM SEGURA: I’ve never been to Monaco.
JOE ROGAN: I’ve been.
TOM SEGURA: It’s really wild, though.
JOE ROGAN: Weird.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: There’s so much money there. Everywhere you look is a Rolls Royce or a Ferrari. What is going on here?
TOM SEGURA: Highest, like, amount of millionaires and billionaires in the geographic, like, square mile or whatever. Because it’s so small actually.
JOE ROGAN: Right. If you have residency there, I believe there’s like crazy tax benefits.
Monaco and UAE Citizenship Benefits
TOM SEGURA: You don’t pay taxes. You don’t pay taxes. And guess what? When the husband died, the wife got her Monaco citizenship, like, that week, and then inherited the money. Didn’t pay any tax.
JOE ROGAN: How hard is it to get a Monaco citizenship?
TOM SEGURA: I bet it’s somewhat challenging.
JOE ROGAN: Really?
TOM SEGURA: I think so. I don’t know. Got to meet the right people, I would assume. I mean, I know like, for instance, you know, where it’s like, impossible and there’s great benefits to it is UAE. They don’t give that s* to anybody. Oh, really?
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: You got to be from there.
JOE ROGAN: And that’s the same kind of benefits, right?
TOM SEGURA: Yes. Massive, massive benefits of being a. There is. There’s even a thing if you’re a UAE citizen. Like, if we have the same job and you’re a non-citizen and I am a citizen, I get double your salary.
JOE ROGAN: Wow.
TOM SEGURA: Just from being from UAE. Things like that. Yeah. Government will also pay for your housing, give you a car, pay for your education. Yeah. But they have a small. One of the reasons they have extreme wealth, but they also don’t have a high population of native citizens.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: So they’re able to do things like that also.
JOE ROGAN: And they have insane oil market.
TOM SEGURA: Insane. Especially in Abu Dhabi.
The Real Richest People in the World
JOE ROGAN: Well, that’s when people talk about, like, the richest man in the world.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Like, okay, publicly.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: But those guys don’t have to tell you how much money they have.
TOM SEGURA: There’s also a big difference between being extremely wealthy holding stock and extremely wealthy holding cash.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: That’s a real big difference.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Well, that’s why it’s wild what these guys are doing with, like the Saudi Arabians are doing with boxing, because they’re just going, “What fight do you guys want to see?”
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Okay. Let me call that guy. Yeah, we’ll give you $100 million. Like what? Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: And then they’re like, “That ain’t s*. That’s fine.” Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: That Saudi Entertainment fund is.
JOE ROGAN: It’s bananas.
TOM SEGURA: The government’s fund.
The Riyadh Festival Experience
JOE ROGAN: What was it like doing that Riyadh festival?
TOM SEGURA: Fantastic. Yeah, it was fantastic. I mean, the people there were amazing. Like, you know, there’s always, like, you look at things on the news and you have your preconceived notion of, like, what things are right. But when you’re on the ground somewhere and you’re with people, you know, I was just meeting wonderful people.
We went to the. They had the comedy club there. We went to the club, like, not what we were brought there to do. Like, they had, like, Comedy Pod, I think it’s called. And it was just like. I mean, it was just Saudi. Com, like, local people, and the crowd was just citizens, just like. And they were all just so warm and welcoming, and they were such huge admirers of ours of, like, American comedy and American podcasts. And they were just super sweet. Like, they were so genuine.
JOE ROGAN: And what is the restrictions in terms of, like, language and subject matter?
TOM SEGURA: So everybody was highly, highly, highly well versed in not just English, but, like, American pop culture. So everything we talked about, they got everything. You know, they got everything. I mean, I went one the night before I went to see Jimmy Carr and Louis perform, and, like, I was. I was like, “Holy s*.” They get, like, even, like, the little throwaway lines, you know, like, the things that aren’t even, like, the bit, like the little jokes.
The only restriction that we were. That we had was about Islam and the royals. That was it. Which wasn’t really a hard thing for most people to adhere to because, like, you know, like, me and those guys, like, we didn’t have Islam or royal jokes.
JOE ROGAN: We weren’t.
TOM SEGURA: We weren’t cutting anything from our actual.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: So I was like, yeah. By the way, when we did UAE, you know, like Dubai and Abu Dhabi, they were like, “Do not talk about.” Same. Same thing. Don’t talk about our royals. Don’t talk about Islam. Don’t be, like, super graphic about. But then we did do graphic stuff, and they’re like, “Yeah, that’s fine.” They’re like, “Just take it easy on the. On the royals and on Islam.” But I was like, yes, that’s not a challenge for me. But the country, like, as far as, like, the people that we met, they were all fantastic. They were really sweet people.
The Controversy Around Performing in Saudi Arabia
JOE ROGAN: It’s just people have a weirdness of, like, you’re going over there because it’s. The Saudi royal family has the money, right?
TOM SEGURA: The Saudi family is the family that funds the entertainment fund, right? Then people were like. They would accuse me of whataboutism for saying that that’s the same fund that. That paid for Ed Sheeran to come and Beyoncé to come to do their shows. And, like, that’s what I’m like. But how. That’s just facts. Like, it’s not whataboutism. It’s that. That’s the money that funds entertainment, right?
And then some people will go, “Well, you should do it. If the money came from like, let’s say a promoter.” But you’re like, yeah, but that doesn’t exist yet. Do you know what I mean? Like, right, this is the system that’s in place now. Maybe in like.
JOE ROGAN: So who accused you of. What about it?
TOM SEGURA: Just people would. Were so vocally upset that we went. Yeah. And I was like, I mean, first of all, the way that I went was that I was doing Dubai. I was like, I was booked to do Dubai, which is in UAE. It was already announced. And then three months later I got a call and they’re like, “Hey, do you want to do Riyadh? It’s like a 90 minute flight.” I’m like, I’m in the Middle East. Yeah, I’ll add a show, you know, like, I’m there. It was like routed.
JOE ROGAN: Did you know it’s a festival?
TOM SEGURA: I knew it was a festival and then they told me the lineup. And the lineup was bananas, right? It was like Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle. I was like, “Oh, that sounds like a great lineup.” I didn’t think really like that I was doing something that would. I had no idea. I had no idea.
JOE ROGAN: And then you didn’t think it would be something that people would get offended by. I mean, the people that were most offended were the comics that weren’t invited.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, I know there’s a lot of them, that a lot of them were super vocal. And I’m like, you can’t sell a ticket in Houston. I don’t know why you’re upset about Riyadh. Like, no one’s going to see you anyway.
JOE ROGAN: Right?
TOM SEGURA: It was a bunch of like 50 year old feature acts that were upset. And then we went over there, had a great time. And I actually think that like one of the things that was overlooked is the fact that we were all saying, they’re like, “Oh, you, you had to adhere to.” I was like, dude, I told you the two restrictions which I we had didn’t affect my act. And I do think it’s a sign of their progress that they put on this festival and that we were saying all kinds of wild s. Like the s that we say on stage without talk. We didn’t talk about Islam.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, that wasn’t a crazy thing to me. Like, I think that that’s showing because what’s happening, actually there is that right now the entertainment hub of the Middle East is Dubai. That is the entertainment hub of the Middle East. That’s where people go. That’s their Vegas. Big shows, spectacles, all types of s*. Saudi Arabia, is like, “No, we want to be the hub.” And they have super deep pockets, and so they’re trying to be the. To compete with Dubai in entertainment. That’s. That’s what, like, the fuel of this is.
And putting on this festival, to me, felt like that’s. That’s a path towards their goal of, like, entertainment can be here. And they put on a great festival, treated us fantastic. You know, people get. I don’t mind if people are like, you can be mad, be mad about whatever you want, I don’t care. But as an experience, it was an amazing experience. And I do think that they’ll continue to put on these festivals. It’ll be very interesting to watch as this festival continues, who goes. Who gets invited and goes, who was against it at the beginning? Because, you know, it’s going to be a few people. And I have some screenshots that I’ve said, so we’ll see who goes.
Comedy vs. Other Entertainment
JOE ROGAN: Maybe. Perhaps it’s interesting. It’s interesting that comics are held to a higher standard than singers or other people that perform over there.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, it is weird, though, you know, because it’s like comedy uniquely challenges the idea of free speech.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah, sure. Yeah, that makes sense.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah. But I mean, because it’s not like.
JOE ROGAN: If someone says, “Don’t sing any songs, but it’s Islam,” you’re like, “Well, I don’t have any songs.”
TOM SEGURA: But I have to say that also, like, some of these comics who are saying this, like, “Oh, you know, you don’t have free speech and you adhere to these restrictions.” It’s like, have you ever done a private. Have you ever done a university? I have, yeah. They had restrictions.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: You know, they were like, “Don’t talk about our mascot. Don’t talk about this. Don’t talk about that.”
The Jamal Khashoggi Question
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, specifically, if you don’t have that in your act already, then the question is, should. Should you be working for those people because of what happened with Jamal Khashoggi? That’s everyone’s big argument. I think Dave had the best line about that.
TOM SEGURA: Yeah.
JOE ROGAN: It’s like, Israel killed 240 journalists last month, you know, like, what are you talking about?
TOM SEGURA: I mean, in the last three months. It’s a fair point.
JOE ROGAN: It is a fair point. Yeah. It’s just different. Right. Like, one guy was sought up in an embassy, in a way, in suitcases. Not good.
TOM SEGURA: It’s an awful. It’s horrific what happens.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah.
TOM SEGURA: But also, I mean, if you want to, like, go down that. That line of that.
JOE ROGAN: That argument, then you shouldn’t be working in America either.
TOM SEGURA: I mean, that’s, that’s like. Are we saying that only their awful thing is worth fighting against?
JOE ROGAN: Well, if they’re funding it. Right. As opposed to like, if you work in America. It’s not. The CIA doesn’t fund a comedy show.
TOM SEGURA: Sure, sure.
JOE ROGAN: You know what I mean?
TOM SEGURA: Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, there’s a lot of. There’s a lot of ways to look at it. And if it, if it really upsets you, my position is good.
JOE ROGAN: Well, the other thing.
TOM SEGURA: Let it upset you.
Cultural Progress Through Comedy
JOE ROGAN: Yeah, let it upset you. The other thing that, like, culturally it is a good thing to bring great comics over to Saudi Arabia.
TOM SEGURA: I think so.
JOE ROGAN: Good for people to hear what these Jimmy Carr and you and Louis and Bill and all these comics have to say. And Dave, it’s a good thing for the culture. Like, it’s a good thing for human. It’s a good thing to open up society. And it seems like outside of this whole Jamal Khashoggi thing, which again is indefensible. Right? Yeah, outside of that, this is a more progressive organization. Like they are letting women drive now. They’re like, slowly, this is coming into a more modern facility.
TOM SEGURA: It is progress. It is a sign of progress. Whether people accept that or not, it is a sign of progress there.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. It doesn’t help the people there if you never interact with them ever again because of something their government did.
TOM SEGURA: Exactly. And, and I have to tell you, if you saw the faces of these people that we were performing for and the. I mean, when you could. Sometimes they’re like this, but they like how genuinely thankful and excited they were to be at these shows. It was awesome.
JOE ROGAN: In Saudi Arabia, you never would imagine you’d see a lineup like, “Oh my God.”
TOM SEGURA: I mean, some of the guys, they were telling us, they were like, dude, like 10 years ago. They’re like, nothing like this could have ever happened to you.
JOE ROGAN: Ever, ever happened to you.
TOM SEGURA: So I don’t know how you don’t see that as some type of progress.
JOE ROGAN: What’s up, Jamie?
TOM SEGURA: Across something insane.
JOE ROGAN: What?
TOM SEGURA: This is on the justice websites. Justice.com, justice Jamie.
JOE ROGAN: Scrolling. I don’t know how.
TOM SEGURA: No, I just saw a tweet and clicked the link.
The Epstein Video Discovery
JOE ROGAN: Okay. What is this corner of the screen says Jay Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein killing himself. What? It’s the date. So what is he doing here?
TOM SEGURA: It’s a 12 second video that someone found on their website.
JOE ROGAN: See that again? Put that up. Can you pause it and make it larger? So is he hanging himself there?
TOM SEGURA: Looks like he’s leaving.
JOE ROGAN: I’m showing it on the screen? Because I don’t.
TOM SEGURA: You know, I don’t even.
JOE ROGAN: Right.
TOM SEGURA: But I don’t even know if that’s like, what is it?
JOE ROGAN: Looks like plain white hair. I don’t know if it was, you know. Well, he definitely had white hair, but like. So the date is that. Is that him with a thing wrapped around his neck and he’s trying to kill himself? I don’t. That’s. So one thing that’s important was he had a previous suicide attempt, supposedly when he was locked up.
TOM SEGURA: He was locked up.
JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I mean, that’s one of the reasons why he was under, like, 24 hour supervision. That’s the case. Right. Didn’t he have a previous suicide attempt?
TOM SEGURA: I don’t even know if someone found this.
JOE ROGAN: That’s crazy.
TOM SEGURA: That’s on the government website.
JOE ROGAN: But you imagine that they’ve had this footage the whole time. Is that real? Yeah, but you know what I’m saying? It’s like, who knows what’s real? I watched a cruise ship hit a bridge and the bridge fell apart and everybody died. It’s fake.
TOM SEGURA: It’s fake.
JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. For like a half of a second, though, I was like, yeah, like, oh, my God, I thought it happened today. Like, yeah, new tragedy. And then I’m like, wait, how much better are they going to get at that too?
The Rise of Deepfakes
TOM SEGURA: How much better are they going to get at that too?
JOE ROGAN: Oh, it’s going to be impossible to tell. It’s so much better than it was just a couple of years ago. Someone guessed the URL of the files that were uploaded to DOJ’s website that were not found. The video. Holy.
TOM SEGURA: The video. Holy. Okay.
JOE ROGAN: And then they corrected it. Said it’s 100% fake. Oh. But it’s on that website still, which is.
TOM SEGURA: It’s on the justice department.
JOE ROGAN: So I guess that means there’s fake s* on the website. Oh, boy. This video is 100% fake. With a visual indeed released by the DOJ. It seems it’s a collection of files collected by investigators. And this fake video originated on 4chan. So even they’re getting 4chan strikes again. Yeah. And there’s. It’s going to be impossible to know in the future. There’s no way to tell.
TOM SEGURA: There’s no way. There’s no way.
JOE ROGAN: Real f*ing weird.
TOM SEGURA: Because already with the voice stuff is crazy. Like, oh, yeah, I can listen to something like your voice and I’ll be like. And then find out that it’s fake. I didn’t.
JOE ROGAN: I mean, I can alter it to make you excited, make you a little sad here.
TOM SEGURA: And in like, your case. In my case, there’s just thousands of hours of us speaking. So it’s even easier. Oh, yeah.
JOE ROGAN: And that won’t even matter in the future. It’s like, with the newer technology, they’ll be able to manipulate it and it’s going to get way better. Yeah, that’s what’s. I mean, what does that even mean?
TOM SEGURA: What does it mean?
Wrapping Up: Tom Segura’s New Special
JOE ROGAN: Tom Segura tell everybody. Once again, guys, awesome comedy special.
TOM SEGURA: It’s called “Teacher.” It’s on Netflix. When does this come out? I didn’t mean to play sound.
JOE ROGAN: This will be out tomorrow, so.
TOM SEGURA: Oh, great. Yeah. Comes out Christmas Eve.
JOE ROGAN: Nice.
TOM SEGURA: On Netflix. It’s called “Teacher.” I’m very excited about it. I thank you so much for watching it over this holiday break.
JOE ROGAN: It’s a good time to release.
TOM SEGURA: I toured for two years to get ready for this one. I’m very happy with it, so I hope you. Hope you enjoy it.
JOE ROGAN: Well, if it’s any of the stuff that I’ve been watching, it’s going to be awesome.
TOM SEGURA: Thanks, brother.
JOE ROGAN: Killing it.
TOM SEGURA: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
JOE ROGAN: Beautiful to see.
TOM SEGURA: I’m excited.
JOE ROGAN: I’m happy. All right, that’s it. Bye, everybody. Merry Christmas.
TOM SEGURA: Merry Christmas.
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