Transcript: Evil People Don’t Go To Hell w/ Suzanne Giesemann @ Bialik’s Breakdown

And we wish you obviously good healing. Obviously, sometimes people have health concerns and in many cases things don’t always go our way, right? And I wonder if you can talk about what is a relationship with spirit that can kind of handle when things go well and also when things don’t.

Finding Peace Through Spiritual Connection

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh, it’s this knowing that comes from establishing a conscious connection with a higher reality, even if you never see these beings that help us. I never even knew they were there for most of my life. But once I sat silently every day in attempts to connect with my stepdaughter who had died 20 years ago and realized that we are supported by beings who are loving and will prove their presence to you over and over if you ask and if you play with them, it changed everything.

I’ve had moments where I didn’t cry out of fear or “why is this happening to me?” But I’ve become very emotional this past week with this feeling of being uplifted and supported and knowing that no matter what, everything’s going to be okay. It’s like my husband got a phone call last August from the doctor and said, “You have leukemia.” And we just went, “Okay, here we go.” And it wasn’t “hair on fire,” as we used to say in the Navy. It was just, this is life. Life is like a roller coaster. It goes up and it goes down. And when you learn to flow with it and not deny what’s happening, what’s here, now we can tune into this guidance that is always here. It’s phenomenally comforting.

Understanding Spiritual Guidance

JONATHAN COHEN: Talk to us a little bit about that guidance. People want to have intuition. They want to feel connected to something. And yet so often we’re stuck in the materialist realm where we go get a test or we see a sign, we get rejected somehow, we get stopped in the material world, and that’s it. Talk to us about what is available for us and how that can support us.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Well, this is the problem. We get stuck in what I call the story. It’s the narrative that we take as our only state of being, the only aspect of us, our only identity— you with a name. But we realize that we are souls first and foremost, and that soul has this ongoing connection. The soul is always present, but the problem is our nervous system gets in the way.

I not only had this issue with the surgery, but I’ve had a respiratory challenge for 2 weeks and have felt so disconnected from spirit. Just yesterday and today are the first days where I really feel like, “Oh, I’m back.” It’s not like they’re back. Your guides don’t go anywhere. But when your focus narrows out of necessity because you have to focus on physical challenges or pain or an issue with somebody in your life, you don’t have time to expand out here and truly feel spirit.

So that’s the challenge for most people. They’re caught up in the day-to-day challenges and drama of being human. And haven’t perhaps had the time or taken the time to train your nervous system to slow down, to be calm, and then set a clear intention to experience expanded states of consciousness. That’s where and how we make the connection.

I couldn’t make that connection because I was uncomfortable and distracted. But now that things are settling down, oh, it’s just like— ah, I get this little lip twitch when my guides really connect. I can’t make it happen, but it happened this morning and it’s almost like, “Ah, here you are.” And they say, “We didn’t go anywhere. Here you are.”

The Infrastructure of Spiritual Connection

JONATHAN COHEN: I want to continue on this line of thinking for a minute because again, for people who don’t have that experience resetting, coming back to spirit and who are just searching for it, I want to set the logical parameter that says this exists, right? Tell us a little bit about the behind-the-scenes structure that we all have access to that we may not have tapped into yet, just so that we can get our logical minds around what the infrastructure is here.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Okay. I like analogies a lot. So my favorite one is to picture an aquarium that’s just one aspect of this big ocean. It’s like kind of a boundary within the ocean. And so on the surface, it could be a lot of waves. And as you go deeper in that ocean, this very large aquarium, the waves settle down and at the very bottom is completely still.

We are all waves in that ocean, a very common spiritual analogy, but so practical because when you’re in the waves, you can’t feel the stillness. But when you sit— and all it takes is 1 to 3 minutes a day, Jonathan, 1 to 3 minutes a day— breathing slowly and saying, “I want to tap into that stillness.” And you can literally picture yourself sinking down beneath the waves. You find out there is a stillness and it’s right here because you are the stillness.

And those deeper layers, they’re like thermal layers, right? That’s where we encounter guides and help that comes in the form of guidance and insights and sensations of comfort and peace. But you really have to make the effort, 1 to 3 minutes a day. I’m not talking about hours of meditation, but get in the practice of settling down, literally settling into the stillness.

JONATHAN COHEN: And in that space where there is more stillness, more information is available, more guidance is available. If you meet a block in the material world, that may not be the end of the options. You can start to navigate it. You may get a sense that, “Wait a second, what I’m being told isn’t the full story. There may be something else here.” And then you may be able to navigate the options. Is that accurate?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s it. Because an even greater analogy, forget the aquarium, just be the ocean. We are the wave in the ocean because you can’t separate the wave from the ocean. It’s the same stuff. It’s consciousness. Picture us like a pattern within the ocean. And I like to say it’s like an eddy, a whirlpool. And that pattern is the pattern of all of your life experiences. But the whole ocean carries all the experiences of every being that exists or did exist. So all that guidance is accessible by coming into resonance with other patterns, a match.

The Busy Mind and Meditation

JONATHAN COHEN: Now I’m going to play Mayim for a moment. I know she wants to say something, but I’m just going to represent what I hear her say sometimes after we talk about this analogy. We talk about spirits and guides. She’ll say, I sit for 3 minutes and all I hear are song lyrics in my head. I don’t drop lower. Can you talk to the person with the busy mind?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Yes.

JONATHAN COHEN: Maybe directly to Mayim to say, what does it mean if you feel like you’ve tried, you’ve tried to quiet and you don’t feel that metaphor that we’ve talked about? You don’t access that other space.

MAYIM BIALIK: That is sort of one of the challenges that many of us have. Is that I don’t really— I understand this idea, but it’s a muscle that is very hard to exercise. And I really love what you said, that your nervous system is really the only thing that is standing in the way of you and your spirit connection.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: It is, because once we no longer have a nervous system, meaning the body has died, now we’re in soul awareness, which is here anyway, but it’s fully our awareness. It’s our state, our natural state, and we are aware of who we are and that we are all connected.

But to answer your question, when you say, I can’t quiet my mind, I say good luck with that because you’re right, you can’t ever completely quiet your mind. And that’s one of the greatest mistakes people make in meditation — trying to quiet your mind. That’s not the process. The process is setting the intention to enjoy and experience the stillness between the song lyrics, between the thoughts.

So it’s really more like a practice. It’s a non-doing, but the doing part is just noticing. So here I’m going to sit here for 1 minute and I’m just going to enjoy the stillness and notice what comes up. So I get quiet and I go, oh yeah, there’s that song that was on the radio. And you just go, noted. And you let it go. And you go back to, oop, there’s a moment of silence. Oop, that itself was a thought. Noted. And then you go back and there was like 2 seconds of silence and that felt really good.

And then the thought will come up, am I doing this right? That was a thought. And you let it go. Now we’ll switch from the ocean to the blue sky analogy. All that stuff — sensations, thoughts, and feelings, STF — stuff. All that stuff that comes up are the clouds in the sky. And they’re always going to be there. But you just notice, oh, there’s a cloud, and you let it go.

So what’s cool about this is, why are we doing this? Because we want to access higher guidance. We want the comfort and peace and clarity that comes from setting the story aside. So as you do that, every once in a while, something that’s not a normal cloud floats in. And then you go, wait, what was that? And then you can actually ask, why did I just see that? Or why did I just hear that? And then you get quiet, and you realize, oh my gosh, that was the answer to this puzzle I’ve had, or that’s some really good guidance, even if it’s obvious that hadn’t occurred to me. And that’s how it works. It bubbles up. It stands out from the stuff.

Everyday Intuition and Higher Guidance

JONATHAN COHEN: That’s an interesting explanation that we haven’t fully had before. We’ve heard people talk about hearing a voice and the placement of the voice. We’ve heard about channelers. But for everyday intuition to think about it appearing just as a thought would with a slightly different characteristic hasn’t been fully described before.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Well, in my new book, Always Connected, I have these conversations with what I call Joy with a capital J. Joy is the ocean. It’s the deepest aspect of the ocean I’ve been able to contact. Do I want to call it God? No, because that would really have some baggage with it. So I just call it Joy.

But in these conversations, it’s fascinating because it points us right back to the fact that you and your guides and your loved ones who have passed and everyone are all Joy. If we’re all waves in the same ocean, we’re just talking to different levels of this one being. It’s not a person. It’s a state of awareness. And so when you drop into the stillness and something stands out, is it your thoughts? It’s the ocean’s thoughts, and so are yours.

Spirit Guides, Loved Ones, and the Architecture of Connection

JONATHAN COHEN: You just brought up the term guide or spirit guide, as well as deceased loved ones. And when you think about a medium or someone who’s channeling someone from beyond, that’s a very specific voice. How do you distinguish between a guide, someone who may have passed, your own intuition that may be related to a higher self? Can you continue with the architecture as you understand it and offer some explanation?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: So how do you distinguish between your mother and your father and a sibling? They have a different feeling. They have different ways of speaking. They show up differently. Even if you couldn’t see them, you’d sense who’s in the room.

So a medium sets an intention to connect with somebody’s loved one who has passed. And even if you’ve never met them, you can feel a distinct personality. I don’t see people’s loved ones when I tune into them, but boy, do I feel them, so that I can describe them down to little nuances and likes and dislikes. And then they’ll share memories and likes and dislikes that are specific to them. They feel like people. They talk like people. They share things that only their loved ones could know. So that’s at the level of loved ones who have passed.

But with guides, when I’m doing a session for someone and they’ve asked to speak to either their loved ones or their guides, it’s very interesting how I’ve developed a system to help me know when I have a guide. I literally get pulled up to this angle up higher, and I don’t have a sense of personality whatsoever, but they start telling me things about my client that are usually spot on. And I love it when the client will say, oh, that’s exactly what I needed to know. And they didn’t even tell me what they wanted to know. So to me, there’s a lack of personality with guides, yet there’s a depth of wisdom and knowing that is unique, and that’s a deeper level.

MAYIM BIALIK: What are the best sort of explanations you can give for who spirit guides are? Like, are they angels, like many traditions believe? What is an angel if that’s the case? And what are the other options for this sort of team that a lot of people talk about, that they have rooting for them?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Yeah, let’s stick with the analogy of the ocean and these thermal layers. The layers are — there’s no real separation. So angels, and this feels good to me, it feels right, this explanation that I’ve gotten from Spirit, higher consciousness, would be a lower level, lower layer, and they’re able to resonate with more of us. They’re able to match our frequency and make their presence known and influence us.

So angels are aspects of consciousness. We are aspects of consciousness with a greater influence than those of us here, able to get guidance through to us, to influence us in positive ways. So I don’t speak of them in terms of form, but influence and wisdom.

Right-Sizing the Role of Spirit in Everyday Life

JONATHAN COHEN: You have top 5 things that people misunderstand about connecting with spirit. And I think that’s highly practical because a lot of people think either they can’t connect with it or they feel like they don’t understand it, or they think that connecting with it is going to solve all their problems. They’re never going to experience any issues. They’re never going to get a flat tire because if they did, spirit would have guided them away from the road that would have had the spike in it. And they’re going to be saved in some way. Can you help us right-size this for a practical approach to how spirit can play a role in our lives?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Well, we are Joy that came here for the fullness of knowing ourselves in every experience possible. And so it would make no sense if our guides gave us everything we think we need, gave us only pleasant things. Where’s the experience in that? They’re not here to alleviate our suffering, but to help us learn as a result of suffering that naturally arises from being human.

I don’t know if I brought it up in the last interview, but I bring it up a lot because it’s so helpful. This little sign I have on my wall where I see it: “You can’t stop the waves, that’s life, but you can learn to surf.” So we come here to learn to be surfing masters and to not lose it when the stuff hits the fan. Right? To just say, isn’t that interesting? And turn to the guides and say, boy, I wasn’t expecting that. What’s the best way to react? And now we listen.

We just recently made a move cross-country, and everything was flowing so beautifully. That’s one way you know that you’re listening — things falling into place so quickly. Everything was great until this one major glitch right near the end that could have derailed the final step. And the humans involved started getting at each other — the buyers, the purchasers, the realtors and everything. And I felt this feeling and I almost got caught up in it. And I stepped aside and I said, Spirit, what do we do here? And they gave me such an out-of-the-box answer. And I came back and I suggested it to the realtor and she went, whoa, never thought of that. And it solved the whole thing.

I would never have thought of it either, but it’s when you get in the habit of realizing that we do get in these boxes in our human roles. But when you stop — I could have easily said I had this great idea and it saved the day. I don’t take any credit for that, only for the awareness: ooh, I’m about to get involved in this head knocking and this could get ugly. I don’t want to go there anymore. And I just stepped aside and went, what do we do here? And it’s not immediate always, but all of a sudden it was, whoa.

JONATHAN COHEN: It requires a willingness to sit in the unknown for a moment.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh yeah. I love studying, Mayim — of course you do too — the neuroscience of this and the left hemisphere of the brain. It loves answers and predictability and has to have resolution. But the right brain just flows. And so the more you can dampen that left brain’s tendency and at least recognize it and say, well, let’s see what the right brain comes up with. It absolutely requires that unknown. But the more you do that, you learn to trust. And that unknown, instead of being scary, has this huge element of, oh boy, how’s this going to turn out?

Earth School: Why We Are Here

MAYIM BIALIK: You touched on something that has been kind of a recurring theme for me and Jonathan, this notion of Earth school, right? That we’re sent here or we’re dropped into this earthly existence to experience certain things, to learn certain things. What is some of the framework that you use for kind of thinking of ourselves as part of this Earth School? Why was our consciousness placed into these bodies right here, right now for us to interact here?

The Body as a Messenger: Healing, Trauma, and Spiritual Connection

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Well, we are part of the ongoing unfolding of humanity. It is a process. So we came at this time knowing, hey, we’re no longer in the childhood of humanity. We’re pretty much in the adolescence because we’re still fighting and we don’t all get it and we act pretty still childlike a lot, but we have grown.

So, as Joy said, let’s go back in and see how it goes this time around. And it’s not going to be easy because we’re still going to have political leaders that don’t get it. And we’re going to have just tribal factions that are still in the adolescent stage. But won’t it be interesting as we just come to realize there is a better way? As we realize we’re not just these bodies and these nervous systems. And that with the free will that comes with being humans, that’s the wild card, right? With free will, we can make a choice to seek that better way.

So it’s a very exciting time as more people are realizing. I call it the Awaken Way, it is a better way. And so I always say, what do you do when the world gets you down? You realize this is not the only world, and that awareness makes all the difference in the world. We just think it’s the surface, the waves is the only world. If you haven’t dived down and spent time on the bottom, still breathing, then you’re going to get tossed around and around and around, and it gets really tiresome.

Emotional Blocks and Connecting with Spirit

MAYIM BIALIK: One of the other misunderstandings people have about connecting with spirit is that, we know that emotional blocks, physical struggles, nervous system dysregulation can block a connection to spirit. So I think that there are some people who might say, okay, that’s not for me. If I can’t get my mind quiet enough, it means I’ve got too much baggage and I’m never going to be able to connect. Where on the continuum of healing can you help us understand we get to be, to be in a solid connection with spirit, even if we feel like we’re blocked?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Each human is unique. And your soul knew that coming in. You knew you were going to take on a body that nowadays has a label of ADHD. And I said, well, that’s your normal. But you can experience a different normal just by training yourself. Maybe you’ll never get to be like a monk in a cave, right? But you can calm that down and see how that opens things up for you. So comparing yourself to other people is not going to be beneficial. You, as Joy, came here to be you. So how is that working for you?

If you’re feeling angst because you can’t quiet it down, that’s the soul inside saying, there’s a better way. I’ll work with you. And if you’re willing to identify where in the flow of consciousness through you, throughout you, there is some denseness, it’s absolutely healing and freeing.

Last August, I had a herniated disc, another physical challenge, most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced, and it lasted for months. Boy, talk about getting my attention. But I’ve also heard about this theory that wherever you have a physical pain in your body, there’s likely a deeper connection. So I said, okay, right there in the lower back, but not just the back. How about the front? Most people have digestive issues. Same area of the body.

And so, yes, while dealing with the physical issue, at the same time, I spent hours talking to my guides and saying, what am I not seeing? What’s going on here? And I went to energy healers and it was amazing. We wouldn’t tell them what’s going on. And this one woman says, “Man, you just have this major frozen energy right here in your— in the middle section here.”

And I realized, I came to learn that I had a lifetime, as do most of us, of guarding ourselves. We don’t feel safe in these bodies. And I was given a mini life review without having to die, and I was shown all these moments of trauma in my life. Every one of us has had them that I thought I dealt with, but I was still on guard. I wasn’t willing to just let down completely, be open.

For me, it was— I was in the US invasion of Panama, right there, bullets flying by me. And then my stepdaughter dies. Then I have 9/11. I’m right there at the Pentagon. All these things that in the Navy we learned to suck it up. Well, I thought I dealt with all of those, but my back showed me no. And I grind my teeth, right? At night, there’s a part of the body that just gets these subconscious signals that say it’s not safe to be open and relaxed.

Well, wow. I asked Spirit to help me. I had an amazing experience in meditation of release with lots of sobbing and emotional stuff that I just normally don’t do. My back is completely healed now. But the biggest difference is I am so much more open and the connection with Spirit has improved. So right there, if you’re willing to look at where in you might you be guarded, a lot of people are guarded in the heart. A lot of people don’t want to speak their truth. They might have coughing issues or throat issues, but digestive issues and back issues, there’s nothing wrong with us. These are results of being human, of coming into these bodies.

The Mind-Body Connection

MAYIM BIALIK: We recently heard this statistic that over 50% of people who go to doctors with a physical ailment are actually suffering in a mental health arena, and it is manifesting in the body.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh, it’s all connected.

MAYIM BIALIK: Yeah, I think it’s so interesting. And also, to hear someone like you who for decades has lived this incredible, inspired and inspiring life, to hear that you were laid low, right, by a herniated disc and were reminded of how much we still hold. I think I kind of put you on this pedestal like, oh, she’s figured it all out. And she was a skeptic. And then she had this incredible situation. She was awakened and now she inspires people all over the world.

But in truth, I think that’s really— it’s incredible. And I think it humbles all of us to hear that you still get reminders that there’s still more work to be done. And even when we think we’re through something, it can still manifest. Can you talk a little bit about that?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh, yes. And the best guidance I would love to share with all of you is to say when these things happen, “Isn’t that interesting,” and see it as an opportunity. I mean, I was literally in shock. I could not sit down for 10 days, and I just kept saying, what do you mean I can’t sit? How am I supposed to eat? Standing up. How am I supposed to get in the car? Lie down. I mean, it was just the whole human side is like, this can’t be happening, but your spirit says, “Yes, it is. What are you going to do?”

And yet, up until that point, I had a fantastic connection with spirit. I was thrilled. And it just keeps getting better because I was willing to flow with that and dig and say, this is not just physical. It’s just a whole new level. But mostly, Mayim and Jonathan, it’s a level of peace and love and connection. It’s not so much that now I’m getting even greater evidence. I’m getting layers that are fantastic. But when you have the people who follow your work say you’re somehow softer, or there’s a different energy about you. Oh, man, that’s beautiful.

Finding the Message in Physical Pain

MAYIM BIALIK: I recently threw my back out, which is something that my body likes to do every once in a while. And it’s that trying to not feel rage at the universe and feeling betrayed by your body while also trying to balance, like, what’s the message here?

My back went out during that enormous snowstorm, and I was stuck on the East Coast. And when I knew that I might be stuck on the East Coast because of the storm, I thought, I love the snow, I love the cold weather. I would love nothing more than to sled down the hill. I would love nothing more than to build a snowman. And what happened was I was unable to walk up and down the stairs without being on my hands and knees, and I watched the storm from a beautiful bay window as people frolicked and dogs played.

And I honestly went to like, what’s the message here? Good, good, right? And the bad voice inside said, “You can’t have anything you like.”

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Well, so instead of saying, “Why me?” you say, “Isn’t that interesting? Why is this happening?”

JONATHAN COHEN: That’s a huge shift because the “why me” is a victim mindset that brings on additional criticism, anger, self-hatred, self-loathing.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I mean, there was a point where I was literally curled up in a ball on the floor in a fetal position and crying from the pain. And then I looked up online, why do we do that? And found out that even animals in the wild do that. It’s a self-protective measure. And I didn’t give up hope, but when you read about how long it takes to get over these things, it was discouraging, but I didn’t lose hope and I just kept learning things every day. Every day.

MAYIM BIALIK: So, if you time traveled back, I would call Suzanne Giesemann and say, I’m curled up in the fetal position and I’m crying and I cannot hear what spirit wants me to know.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: There’s no way you’ll hear it at that point.

MAYIM BIALIK: There’s a very famous prayer in Hebrew, and it says that, like, from the narrowest, darkest place, I cry out, right? What is it about the places of the most darkness that make it the hardest to connect?

Coherence, Constriction, and the Bandwidth of the Body

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Yeah, that’s the nervous system. Again, you only have so much bandwidth while you’re in a body, and it is focused on that part that’s hurting. And that’s what I learned. The very first trick was I learned to breathe and relax, because you tense up. And when you’re constricted, that’s the exact opposite of the openness that we need to connect with spirit. I’m using constricted and open, but really the scientific terms would be coherent and incoherent. So we need the greatest state of coherence to sense spirit.

I checked in there while you were talking. I made a very concrete statement. There’s no way you’re going to sense spirit when you’re like that. In the absolute height of pain, that is an accurate statement. But there are levels of connection. And that’s where, if you’re willing to have a few moments of stillness every day, you get to know that that’s always here. It’s not going away. So that is so comforting.

MAYIM BIALIK: It’s interesting because what it reminds me of is one of the most natural things that the female body can do, which is give birth. And that’s exactly what we are told. For those of us who love natural birth and believe in the principles of it, what we’re told is that an open body releases a baby and a tense and scared body will keep it in. Right. And just this notion that, like, that’s a divine connection. To be able to say, I can relax into this discomfort because it is the process at the other end of which is freedom, right?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s right. That’s right. And we forget pain. That’s a gift of spirit. I said that to my husband. I said, you know, luckily we forget pain. And I said, it’s like childbirth. If we did not forget pain, no woman would want to have a second child. And my husband said, well, he has the same respiratory challenge I do right now. And he said, well, this to a man is like labor. Sorry, Don.

Revisiting the Past to Find the Message

JONATHAN COHEN: If we went backwards, could we retroactively put Mayim in the situation to get a message from spirit about what was happening with her back? What I’m suggesting is that your approach is, “Why is this happening?”

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh, it’s never too late because if you didn’t dig into that at the time, your back will most likely continue to go out. Sorry. No, but seriously, it is most likely the back, not feeling supported. Nothing against Jonathan.

JONATHAN COHEN: I wasn’t there, which is the big problem.

Misconceptions About Spiritual Connection

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: No, but it’s an ongoing thing. It builds up. Not feeling supported. And feeling overly guarded and guarding there. And again, nothing wrong with that. That is what we’re programmed to do, protect ourselves. And in this human world, we do need physical protection.

But when it gets to the point where you’re guarded, boy, just— it’s really funny because I couldn’t wash my hair while I had a big bandage on my face last week. So I went to a salon to get my hair washed and I had this big honking thing across here. And it’s really funny because people take one look and then they look away, right? It’s that guarding. First there’s curiosity. “Why does she look like that?” But then, partly, “I don’t want to embarrass her,” but “Oh God, thank God that’s not me,” right?

And so we walk around all the time guarding ourselves. Think about what you feel like at a party. It’s this push and pull between “I’d like to meet that person, but what if they don’t like me?” That human thing all the time. This is why the awakened way of realizing “I’m not only human.”

When I went in the salon, I caught people’s eyes and I smiled and it was stunning. I came from the soul. I deliberately wanted to see what would happen if my soul shined on them. And they start to look away, and then they were like, “Oh, she’s smiling,” and they smiled back. It was so cool to live from that soul awareness. It is freeing.

JONATHAN COHEN: Suzanne, let’s circle back to 5 misconceptions people have, and I’m going to read some of them to you and you can give us some context. The first misconception is that people think connecting to spirit only counts if you hear a voice so clearly or you see an apparition. Tell us why that’s wrong.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Because we all share the same ocean of consciousness. Spirit inspires us with thoughts. And sometimes it’s only retroactively we realize that thought was given to us. Why did you turn down that road at that time? And that brought you right to the place that you needed. Why did you turn on that song right there? And that song was playing with the lyrics that answered a question you asked. Because you were inspired to do that. You’re not alone. That’s just one example.

JONATHAN COHEN: So this is perfect. And I want to dig a little deeper on this. Mayim will sometimes say to me, when I say I feel like I’m intuiting something, she’ll go, “Aren’t you just thinking it?”

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: And that’s when I say, yes. And who are you? You are Jonathan and this soul and Joy playing this role as Jonathan. So it’s just like the higher aspects of you came into awareness. We’re all awareness itself.

JONATHAN COHEN: The second misconception is that only trained or gifted mediums or intuitives can connect directly.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: These connections happen often spontaneously, and then we doubt them, but our heart knows, “Oh my gosh, that’s my loved one.” And you don’t have to be born a medium— I’m evidence of that right here— to develop a clearer connection. So that word “training” is tricky there because it does help us to have training, but there are countless documented cases of people who have seen their loved one at the end of their bed or had a visit that they cannot deny, seen a loved one standing in the hallway and had things happen that I call NOEs, “no other explanation” moments.

So this happens because we’re all connected and because the other dimensions, the other states of being, interpenetrate our own. And sometimes the nervous system opens up enough that we perceive that without our physical senses.

JONATHAN COHEN: The next misconception is that spiritual communication fades over time or will leave us during periods of our life.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: It can fade, the presence, the awareness of a loved one, or the signs that they send to us, because we don’t need them anymore. I’m so confident in the presence of my stepdaughter Susan that I don’t need her signs. I reach out to her once in a while and she’s present right away because we resonate with each other from a coherent state. That’s what you need from your loved one. You need to be in a coherent state. Their field needs to be coherent, and then you can connect that way.

But why would it fade? Simply because you’re no longer holding that intention. You’re not holding the attention on them, but they haven’t gone anywhere. There’s nowhere to go. It’s just this one sea that we’re all part of.

JONATHAN COHEN: The other misconception is that you must be fully healed first, which is to me a little laughable because what does “fully” even mean? The reality is that that’s a work in progress. The nervous system obviously needs some regulation in order to have an openness enough, but there’s no such thing as fully healed. So we’ll go on to the last one. Number 5: signs stop once you notice them.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s a misconception for sure. They actually increase once you notice them. Because now you’ve opened to the wondrous possibilities that consciousness can provide through this connection. And you notice when you’re just attributing a sign to a butterfly that flies by. Well, not every butterfly is going to be a sign from your loved one. Absolutely not. But you do notice it if that butterfly lands on your hand and stays there for an hour when you were thinking about your loved one. There’s a difference, and you feel it in your heart. And I know that we buoy those across the veil, like, “Oh, they’re finally noticing it’s me. They’re not just thinking they’re making it up. Let’s turn it up a little bit.”

Signs, Skeptics, and the Limits of Psychic Ability

JONATHAN COHEN: This is an interesting point too, because some criticism from people who are very logical and rational will say that people who are looking for signs are over-signifying with the sign. Like every time the clock hits 2:22, you’re just waiting for 2:22. You’ve checked it 6 times between 2:19 and so that you can say, “Oh, there’s 3 magical numbers.” Can you talk about a right-sized application of attention towards the signs that we’re getting?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s going to be like the grief journey. It’s different for everybody. And absolutely, you can over-attribute signs. So really, there’s no barometer to that. Really, the question is, is that helping that person? Are they much more at peace now? Is that helping them in their grief journey? Does that help them feel a connection with their loved one? I know that some of those signs in there are going to be direct connections with a loved one. So maybe some of them aren’t, but compare that to somebody who says, “This is all BS.” I’ll choose the healing any day.

MAYIM BIALIK: One of the things that we often get asked by skeptics, and I think we would love to hear your take on, is if people can be taught to tap into other levels of consciousness that allow us to access people who have passed away or access our spirit guides, why can’t we also use those tools to solve crimes, pick lottery numbers?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Oh my gosh. Yeah.

MAYIM BIALIK: Why can’t we do that? Like, if you can teach part of it, why couldn’t you teach all of the magic?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Yes, exactly. When I first learned about mediumship by having a good reading where my stepdaughter came through, I wrote the biography of a wonderful medium named Anne Gehman. The book is called The Priest and the Medium. I wrote it before I realized I would be a medium, so now people wonder if I’m married to a priest. Hardly.

But Anne, when her husband-to-be Wayne Knoll found out that she was really good psychically, he pulled over, went into a convenience store, and bought a whole bunch of lottery tickets. And they didn’t win at all. And I don’t think she explained in that story why she didn’t. I just accepted it just doesn’t work like that. And Anne was good at missing persons cases, but not great. She and Wayne have both passed.

And so, I just accepted, “Well, we get certain kinds of information and we don’t get others,” until a recent missing persons case made headlines and still is making headlines. And I happen to live near where the person disappeared, and several people who follow my work reached out and said, “Suzanne, can’t you find out where she is? And if you can’t, why can’t you ask your guides?” And I already knew I couldn’t. I tuned in and I sensed something but I won’t even share what I sensed.

MAYIM BIALIK: Why not?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Because here’s why. There’s a very famous psychic who has passed who went on a TV show. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Her name is Sylvia Browne, because this is well documented. And this woman went on— was on the show with her, the Montel Williams Show, and a mother wanted to know where her missing daughter was. And Sylvia tuned in and said, “Oh honey, I’m sorry, she’s dead.” So that mother suffered and died 2 years later. Meanwhile, 8 years later, her daughter who had been kidnapped escaped from where she was being held. And she had seen that show. She had a TV where she was being held. She saw everybody give up hope because the psychic said, “Sorry, honey, she’s dead.”

And so when I dived into why can’t we get this, I really have dug deep. As I learned, and it’s true, if the person you’re trying to connect with, whether they’re still in a body or not— so dead or alive— is not in a coherent state, and can you imagine somebody’s been kidnapped or was murdered? Either way, they’re not probably going to know where they are exactly. They’re not going to be calm. A medium or psychic cannot come into resonance with them. And so Sylvia Browne tuned in and got silence. And to a medium or a psychic, silence can feel like death.

So I felt something, but I couldn’t be sure. There’s no way I’m going to say anything because my number one rule is do no harm. That woman died, and luckily I know that once she no longer had a body, she could tune into her daughter, and she knows from across the veil that her daughter is fine. But the harm that caused.

Resonance, Coherence, and How Information Comes Through

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: So I dived in and I said, “So somebody knows where this person is. Why can’t we tap into that?” And I’ve really, really come to understand now the importance of coherence, but not just in the medium, in everybody involved, because the information we’re gleaning is relational. It’s not like we’re tapping into the whole ocean and just picking up data. We’re tapping into patterns. It’s one pattern, mine, coming into resonance with another pattern, a field of being.

So you two are in relationship. You have many shared memories. If one of you were across the veil, I would come into resonance with both of you, and whoever’s across the veil would light up, think of a memory, and the other, like a tuning fork, their field would light up. You might not know it, but the medium would catch that and then would be able to share, “Oh, I’m sensing a memory because I’m seeing these images.” So resonance and coherence are hugely important. Without resonance, there’s no communication. We’re not transmitting information. We’re tuning forks. Resonating. We don’t receive, we resonate.

Then the other really huge key is that data information is compressed when it comes through our nervous system. So details like “This person is at coordinate this many degrees north, this many degrees south,” or “Is 2.3 miles from the left turn on Route 17,” does not transfer through a nervous system. What does come through are sensations, imagery, feelings.

And I’ve seen this to be true over and over, so now it finally makes sense to me. If somebody is resonating, lighting up for me, there’s a man named John Smith who lived at 1925 Oak Street. What am I as a medium going to pick up? “I sense a man. There’s a name with a J or an S,” because this is specific data. “And I’ve seen a number 5, but not the whole number. And I see an oak leaf.” Now I can’t tell that’s Oak Street, but in a reading, that’s the way information comes through with imagery. And someone goes, “Oh, they lived on Maple Street.” “I’m seeing a maple leaf.” “Well, they lived on Maple Street.” And we think, “Oh cool, we got their street name.” Yeah, because the person recognized that.

I got somebody’s password once. You know why? Because they were able to get through their dog’s name. Daisy. Well, of course they have a relationship with the dog. There’s love with the dog. The client knew the dog. So I get “Daisy” and they go, “Oh, that’s the dog. That’s the dog’s name. And it’s also their password.” So I didn’t get their password. I picked up this relational data that was passed along, that was the dog, a memory.

The Missing Persons Case and the Nature of Mediumship

MAYIM BIALIK: That’s really amazing. And I think those two examples that you gave, and I know that your background is not necessarily as a scientific take on what you can do, but these two notions, this resonance notion and this compression of data, those things make a lot of sense for those of you out there who might be skeptical or might be trying to understand this.

So the notion being that, and I don’t know if it’s so much as an excuse, but it’s an explanation for why there is complexity in the things that we are trying to access when we are using a medium or trying to get in touch with information. And I think of people like Angela Ford, who we had on, someone who was trained to do remote viewing. She was trained to go into these kind of meditative states, and she worked for the military for decades.

And the notion that it’s not so simple as the data is floating out there and mediums are taught how to read the data. There needs to be some sort of coherence, some sort of resonance, whatever that means vibrationally or conceptually or emotionally. And also that the information that comes in, and we spoke to the Long Island medium, Theresa Caputo, and she’s visibly in another plane when she’s talking to you. And she said she gets tastes and she gets smells and all these symbols appear to her. And I’m thinking, what is going on?

But I like your explanation. I don’t know if I’m there 100% because I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. But I like this notion that what if information that comes in is not coming in in the same way that it would in a laboratory setting where you’re trying to do a double-blind experiment and you’re trying to have it stand up to the rigors of the scientific method. It’s a different kind of data.

The example that I kind of came up with, and I don’t know if it makes sense, but if I were to tell you that I believe in falling in love and your answer was, “Okay, well, I’m going to give you a stranger, fall in love with them and prove to me that you can fall in love.” That’s not how love works, right? It doesn’t obey those rules. It’s about a lot of other things, in many cases unseen.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Definitely resonance.

MAYIM BIALIK: Right, right. There has to be resonance. There has to be. Anyway, so I really appreciate this notion of some sort of resonance or compatibility between the seer and the seeker, and also this notion that data is not going to come in the way we would think, like “what are the lottery numbers” — the way that data might come in.

The Kim Canton Story: Finding Jack

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: If I could, may I share my one really excellent example? A missing person’s case was with Kim Canton, who became well known when her family was truly affected by the Montecito mudslide a few years back. Her house was washed away. Her daughter — there’s an iconic picture of her daughter being pulled from under this mountain of mud after 6 hours being buried.

Unfortunately, Kim was in the hospital having surgery because she was badly injured, and they found her husband’s body on the beach miles away, and they couldn’t find her son. And after a while, it became clear that he was dead, but they couldn’t find him. So she reached out to a lot of mediums and psychics, and I was one of them. She started calling me Navy Suzanne. She differentiated the different mediums.

And so I said, “I don’t know if I can find him, but I can let you know how he’s doing.” And I did a regular reading for her and connected with her husband and her son with evidence about them.

MAYIM BIALIK: Like, give me an example. You’re doing a reading of this woman’s deceased husband and son, which is so heartbreaking. It’s like a tragedy I can’t even imagine. What was the information that indicated — I mean, I don’t mean to test you, but what was the information that you accessed to be able to describe their unique personalities and differentiate them?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: “This is your son, he’s like this. This is your husband, and this is what your relationship was like.” Spot on. And then I’m seeing a sport coat with a — what do you call that — a seal or an embroidered thing on there like you’d wear at a prep school. And she goes, “Oh, but my son didn’t go to a prep school.” And I said, “This is very clear.” And she realized her husband was so proud of the prep school he went to. It was with his jacket. So bits and pieces.

MAYIM BIALIK: When you say you saw it, is it like in your mind’s eye? You see it floating? Is it on a body?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I don’t see their faces, but I saw that emblem. Emblem, yeah, from his prep school.

MAYIM BIALIK: There are some people who can’t picture like an apple in their head. You’re picturing things that are attached to — like, is it on a body? It’s just an image?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I’m visually seeing an image of a suit coat with an emblem, and then that came with the knowing — “this is a prep school jacket.”

MAYIM BIALIK: Okay, keep going.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: And then the son showed me what kind of sports he was involved in, those kinds of things. And their message was, “We’re okay, and we’re so glad the boys are together here and you two girls are together there.” Now, anybody could make up that message, but that’s what they wanted to convey — we’re okay.

But as far as getting location data, nothing. Several really good mediums all said the same thing. He said, “I don’t know exactly where I am, but you will find me. You will find me, and I’m fine.” And she wanted to have something to bury. George Lucas from Star Wars gave her one of the sabers from the actual movie, because Jack was a big Star Wars fan, and she wanted to bury that with some part of Jack.

So they narrowed down the search with the help of the mediums, and she called me one day and said, “I’m in the area where we think we’ve got him. What are you sensing?” And I just tuned into Jack because I now feel him. I know what he feels like. And I said, “He’s showing me a dead crow.” And she looked around and said, “There’s a dead crow.” She took a picture. She hadn’t even seen it yet.

I said, “He’s showing me X marks the spot.” She looked around a little more. There was a tree that had been downed by the mudslide. Somebody had painted an X on it. And I said, “He’s also showing me there’s a cairn nearby in rushing water.” And this was along a stream, and somebody had put a cairn there.

I had no doubt I was talking to her son, but he was not able to get through the exact location. So a few months later, my husband and I were traveling through the Santa Barbara area. I got to meet Kim in person. She walked me to that area. This rarely happens, but I absolutely sensed Jack sitting on a downed tree trunk, and he was smiling, and he’s going like this — like, “I’m right down here.” And they brought in search dogs, and other mediums had taken her to the same general area. And they ultimately found bone fragments.

MAYIM BIALIK: Stop it. Stop it.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Yeah. And she wrote a book about it, Where Yellow Flowers Bloom. Wonderful, hard to read story, but a beautiful story. And DNA proved somebody about 17 years old, a male — it was Jack. And they were able to hold a celebration of life and bury him with that saber.

But the bottom line is that he couldn’t tell us exactly where he was. But she said the most healing thing was the messages through the mediums that said, “You will find me, but I’m okay, Mom.”

Do Spirits Always Say They’re Okay?

MAYIM BIALIK: Wow. I mean, that’s an unreal story. And of course, the cynic in me says, do you ever do readings where people say they’re not okay?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I have not. Not a single one. Not a single one.

MAYIM BIALIK: Is everyone okay who has crossed over, or are the only messages that we can receive from people who have crossed over that they are okay?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: The only examples I’ve had were back-to-back readings with spirits of men coming in who I correctly felt were my client’s father, and they were what felt to me as escorted by higher beings. This is the way symbolically it came through in my awareness. But these men appeared to be cocooned — symbolic, cocooned up to here.

The first one was not allowed to talk. The guides or angels, whoever they were, spoke for him. And they said, “This is to assure your client she will not have to ever talk to this man again. He is being ministered to.” It’s kind of like he wasn’t allowed to rejoin the population until he accepted that we’re all souls and realized the harm he had done in this life. This man was evil, evil. She said he had raped and murdered various teenage boys.

Was he okay, to answer your question? He was surrounded by loving beings, but he was not allowed freedom. This was a pattern in the ocean that didn’t need to be there. So we still have free will as souls across the veil. And what changes it all? The choice for love instead of hatred. The choice to — in religious terms, we would say atone for our sins. In spiritual terms, we would say ask for forgiveness and realize we did harm. In scientific terms, we’d say come into coherence by letting go of dissonant energy.

So the next reading, I said, “Oh my gosh, it’s the same situation.” But this man was talking, and he said he wants to tell you he was a monster and he’s sorry, and that by saying he’s sorry, this is part of the healing process. And she said, “Let me send you my book.” And she sent it to me. I started reading that evening. I couldn’t get through it because it was so painful, but the introduction started with, “My father was a monster.”

So was that man okay? He wasn’t burning in hell. That’s a human construct. We want vengeance. We want people to burn in hell. They both came in with these angelic beings that weren’t making him feel good. They were allowing him to see what was possible.

The Limits of What Mediumship Can Reveal

MAYIM BIALIK: I mean, this is something I’ve never heard really anyone speak about in this way. And I think that in many cases, a lot of the skepticism that people who have been hurt have about people who claim that they’re in touch with spirit, or “I can help you get in touch” — a lot of people feel like, but is it really possible to get access to my whole story, right?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I do want to accentuate here that that was symbolic, the cocooning. That would have meaning to me, and the message came through. That was the message that needed to come through. So I’m not going to say that everybody who’s evil is going to be cocooned.

MAYIM BIALIK: No, I get it.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I, as a medium helping people, and we as people who want to know where our loved ones who may be missing are, or we want answers to why did this person die this way — this is frustrating to us. But what if these nervous systems are by design not supposed to allow that kind of information through? What if consciousness is not optimized for practical matters like that, so that we learn through meaning and shared connection?

The reason we do mediumship is to show people that love never dies, that we continue evolving and growing even across the veil, like those two men that I showed you. It’s all about the connection.

My dear, dear soul sister Lynette — her mother disappeared when she was 12 years old. It’s still the oldest missing persons case in Oklahoma. But Lynette knows now that her mother is gone. She finally found mediums after 40 years. But she’s the one that says, “If she had known that her mother was gone years ago, she would not have learned what she has through her own grief journey.”

She’s now found total freedom from the human trauma and has established a relationship with her mother across the veil that is beautiful, and would not have happened if some missing person psychic decades ago would have said, “Oh, this is exactly what happened to your mother.” She now has the relationship with her mother that she didn’t get to have before.

Hell as a Construct and the Nature of the Afterlife

MAYIM BIALIK: I don’t mean to rebrand you as like the medium of darkness and doom, but I also think it’s really interesting because, and again, I’m just sort of speaking to what a lot of skeptics feel like — what’s with all this positivity? Why is there so much love? Why is everything seeming so shiny happy people and, oh, everybody’s okay and we’re all in touch?

A lot of people have skepticism about that. This is why we love talking to you because you have these explanations of things that many people would dismiss, right? And you’re able to sort of articulate what if the level of vibration that people who can sense things that aren’t here are tapped into is one of a deeper sense of connectedness, which anyone who’s had a transcendental experience, a psychedelic experience, a near-death experience, they’ve all said the universal language is love.

Guess what? In the next world, right, there’s no war, there’s no famine, there’s no suffering. What if we could operate at that level? And mediums are kind of like, I’m already tapped into that, yo. We’re right here on that level.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: And all I can say is to the people who are in that dark place and by choice, how’s that working for you? There are so many people that attend my webinars and classes and read my books and say to me, I want that, but I’m still suffering. Well, that desire is from the soul, and that’s why we don’t give up. Because there is this knowing in us that suffering is not the only reason we’re here. Suffering is part of why we’re here. It’s not a reason. It goes part and parcel with this reality, but it doesn’t have to last.

MAYIM BIALIK: I love that. I love that.

JONATHAN COHEN: Say more about hell as a construct because that notion of what happens to us in the afterlife and needing to live our everyday life in a certain way to ensure that we have the right place in eternity has probably done more to control populations than almost anything else that has been invented. And is it an invention or is it real?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: It’s a state of consciousness. And many are in it right now here in the bodies. That’s what it is. And it’s the human programming that wants revenge, wants justice. And so the thought, the image of somebody that did this is going to burn in this place and find eternal damnation feels good.

I was shocked when my husband and I watched this one show. We don’t watch too much TV. And there was this one scene where the guy, this big tough guy, got revenge on these other guys. It felt so good. I said, let’s watch that again. And then I said, isn’t that interesting? We’re programmed for that.

But when you can go beyond that state of consciousness and feel this total connection, that is the definition of love — lack of separation. You don’t just get away with bad things. This is the point. There is justice in that when you cross the veil, if you haven’t realized that you did something that truly harmed another and was not loving, that energy does stay with you and does have to be healed.

What is the healing of energy? Bringing the field back into a state of coherence, of oneness. And so you’re shown what you did and how it affects others. You actually feel it. Many people do cruel acts because they’ve so blocked off their feelings that they don’t feel that that hurts another person. But you cross the veil and you feel the full brunt of it. And I’ll tell you, when there’s an apology to be given, when I do a reading, the first thing that comes through is they want to apologize for this, and they’ll show me what they did.

Hurt People Hurt People

MAYIM BIALIK: Betty, who had an NDE experience — Betty G, as I call her — when she had her NDE, she was shown not only the pain she had caused, and she felt it completely, in her body. But she also saw how the choices that her parents made was from a place of pain that they too were acknowledging. And all of that got absorbed into this sort of family pain, right?

But that notion of there is a place where we have access to that in a way that does not bring about feelings of rage or resentment or wanting revenge, that what it means to truly understand “hurt people hurt” — that even people who wronged you so deeply and horribly, that when you are in a place of coherence, when you are in a place of equanimity, it no longer can hurt you the same way because you see it in this larger context.

I mean, that’s an incredibly important component of healing, right? Is to have compassion even for those who have wronged you. And it doesn’t mean that you have to force it or pretend it. It’s that whatever your healing looks like, it will be a place where that no longer hurts that way.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: And that’s what brings us freedom here, is realizing that those people would not have done it if they knew we’re all connected, if they knew that we’re all at the deepest layers of that ocean, the ocean itself.

JONATHAN COHEN: I like the explanation that people who hurt like that, they literally can’t feel it. Something is blocked in them that prevents them from feeling the ramifications of their action.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s a scary thought at the human level, right?

JONATHAN COHEN: Because we think they either like it or there’s something wrong with them in some way. But it literally could be that they’re missing that piece that connects us or that makes us feel the impact of our actions.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: And what I just got right there was a hit that you have no idea how your love heals those people. They have so blocked themselves off, they don’t feel the love that’s already inside them. It’s not that love’s gone, it’s just gunked over, as I say.

But my friend Brenda, who passed, and I have great communication with her now, she came to one of my presentations about my book and movie Wolf’s Message. She literally ran from that venue because she didn’t know what this feeling was. She was feeling the love that was coming from the stage, and it cracked open something that she had erected over years of self-protection.

So like in that beauty salon, when I just looked at people and smiled and gave them some love — you don’t have to run from me because I have this big bandage on my face. Here’s some love coming back at you. These people that are so walled off, what if we send them love? It’s counterintuitive, but that’s what heals. And it’s not instantaneous in most cases, but the compassion, the understanding of why they’re blocked off.

If you look at gang members, for example, there’s this list of like 10 things that will cause people to do cruel things, and it’s being abused as a child and not having this and this and this. Most of those, they have all 10 things on the list. It doesn’t say it’s okay for anybody to hurt another person, but when you have the compassion to understand, “hurt people hurt people” — well, give them love and crack them wide open.

The Process of Awakening

JONATHAN COHEN: Most people have been blocked in some way, whether it’s a defense mechanism or whether it’s extreme abuse. How do people start to know if they’re breaking open in a good way to be built up again, the process of awakening?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I would bring us full circle back to the beginning again to ask, “What do I need to know that I don’t know?” Ask that and sit quietly for one to three minutes, and insights will arise. And how do you know that you’re being guided? Because you’ll get something that you didn’t expect. There’s just a knowing — well, that’s different.

And I remember Lynette was, before she realized that we’re all souls, the woman that I mentioned whose mother disappeared on her, when she used to hear the messages from my guides that always end with the words, “You are so very loved,” she said she always went, “Pfft.” Like, that’s the biggest bunch of garbage I’ve ever heard. And now she knows it’s true because that light is in all of us. That’s the soul. It just gets clouded over, gunked over, barricaded.

How do you know? Because it can’t help but come out. Do you two ever — I don’t want to embarrass you here.

JONATHAN COHEN: That’s what the podcast is for.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: Do you ever just out of the blue say, “I love you,” and then say, “Where did that come from?” Because it’s totally — Ty and I will be riding a bike and he’ll shout back, “I love you.” Why did that happen? Because you came into coherence for some reason. May have nothing to do with the other one, but all of a sudden you’re feeling love and you know you love the other person, so you resonated with that. That’s what happened there. We all have it in us. And it’s a matter of finding the coherence. That means a stable field.

Love, Connection, and Relationships

MAYIM BIALIK: This feels like a lovely place to kind of end. It’s such a beautiful notion. One thing that I noticed, now that I have one kid in college and one starting the college search, I realize how much when we’re parents of young children, when we say “I love you” to our kids and they say it back, right? And as children get older, that relationship shifts so that you are still in coherence with children, right? But the notion of those kind of acknowledgments of connection are fewer.

But the idea that when you’re with a partner, you have the ability to constantly regenerate that coherence and connection — that’s what’s different about that intimacy, right? Because intimacy with everyone involves vulnerability and all these things. But as I’ve been thinking about it, when you think about being an empty nester, it’s like, oh, where does the love go, right? We still get to have that with our partners, with friends, and with whatever spirit looks like to you.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: That’s why joy incarnated as you for the relationship. And you don’t have to be in a relationship. Find an animal, be in service to somebody else. But we came here to express the love that we are with the outside of ourselves, not just here. It’s all about relationship. And that’s how mediumship works. You come into relationship with a spirit and with their loved one here, and that resonance makes the connection possible.

“Hey Spirit”: Always Connected

MAYIM BIALIK: So wonderful to get to speak with you again. We highly recommend Always Connected: How to Find Comfort, Clarity, and Direction from the Spirit Within.

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I have to tell you something funny about that that I didn’t get to tell you. We’ve talked about peace and tranquility being the byproducts of connecting with spirit. The whole book came about from a drop-in from my guides early one morning. I’m just lying there and they said, “Write this down.” I hope my phone is turned off because every time I share this story it reacts, and you’ll understand why.

They had me write down in big letters on the pad I keep by my bed, “Hey Siri.” And they said, “You know what’s missing?” And I said, “No.” And they said, “The P and the T from peace and tranquility. Put it in there.” And I put it in the word and it came out “Hey Spirit.” And I went, “Oh my God, that’s so cool.”

And then came this big message that the problem with our world today is we’re feeling disconnected even though we have our phones. When we need any answers, we go, “Hey Siri.” But if we could trust the unknown, Jonathan, and pause and say instead, “Hey, Spirit, what don’t I know right now? What’s causing this back pain? Why am I in this relationship challenge? What do I need to do?” And then stop and listen. You will find out you are always connected. You’re going to get innovative answers. They’ll stand out from the song lyrics and all the mind chatter. And then you’ll learn to trust it and you’ll learn to trust the unknown.

MAYIM BIALIK: Suzanne, thank you so much for your wisdom, your heart, your joy. Where can people find all the things, Suzanne, including the app, which I really enjoy?

SUZANNE GIESEMANN: I’m glad you like the Awaken Way app. And I’m so excited that my website is completely new — just go to SuzanneGiesemann.com. We’ve made it much more easy to navigate. All the resources on there — there is so much, and a lot of gifts on there too, and just ways to stay connected. So thank you.

Reflections on the Interview and Being Guided by Spirit

MAYIM BIALIK: Well, thank you, and we wish you good healing and only good things for your health and your whole community. And just really wonderful to get to speak with you again. Thank you so much.

You know, Jonathan, I’m sorry that I didn’t have a physical copy of Suzanne’s book when we had her on, but really, really, lovely exploration of her conversations with Joy and her interactions with not always looking on the bright side. I don’t— I think that’s an oversimplification, but it had never occurred to me that if the universal language, right, of the universe is one of positivity, safety, security— I mean, I’m thinking of people in NDEs when they go into that place and they feel this overwhelming sense of love.

Or people have described this from psilocybin journeys, ayahuasca journeys, that there is a home for our soul that is protected and safe and loved, and we are all one. We are all just kind of part of a universe of consciousness. That makes sense that mediums who are in theory— again, I can’t prove it— in theory tapping into some other realm, that their message would be one that supports the message that people get when they have transcendental or expanded consciousness experiences.

Even someone like Thomas Campbell, who’s doing Transcendental Meditation and has rocketed into the universe the first time he tried meditating, and he experiences that— that’s that place that we’re all trying to get. Or as Suzanne explains, we’re all there already.

JONATHAN COHEN: And what if hell is not a place where you get punished endlessly for things that you may not have done, or you have done, but it’s a place where you feel the impact of everything that has impacted others.

MAYIM BIALIK: Well, and also a place where you then have the opportunity to have some sort of— I mean, these are all human words— closure, atonement, you know. I mean, for me, hell would be a place where I can’t speak.

JONATHAN COHEN: Where you can’t speak.

MAYIM BIALIK: I gotta say the thing I want to say.

JONATHAN COHEN: You just have to sit with all of your ideas for the rest of eternity.

MAYIM BIALIK: That’s right.

Top 5 Ways You Know If You’re Being Guided by Spirit

JONATHAN COHEN: Let’s do top 5 ways you know if you’re being guided by spirit.

MAYIM BIALIK: Okay.

JONATHAN COHEN: Number 1, synchronicity. Tell us about that, Mayim.

MAYIM BIALIK: You know, sometimes something will be serendipitous or it’ll be like, wow, what a coincidence. What if it’s not a coincidence? What if it’s a synchronous moment of coherent resonance? If that is happening and if you’re noticing that it’s happening, that means that something is connecting on some level. And what if those things are happening all the time? You’re just not noticing them. That also would be synchronous.

JONATHAN COHEN: Number 2, physical signs or phenomena.

MAYIM BIALIK: So this would be— this would fall under the hummingbirds, which is what my mother has decided is the way that my father represents himself. But also, you know, we’re at the level of sort of poltergeist, like what if things start moving, or phones start behaving strangely, electronics start behaving strangely. Those are physical signs and phenomena that might be happening.

JONATHAN COHEN: Intuition and inner knowing is number 3.

MAYIM BIALIK: Oh, I love this one. This is one I have no idea what it means. Jonathan, you are a much better person to speak to this. Sometimes you just know something, and I don’t know what that’s like.

JONATHAN COHEN: You tell me all the time.

MAYIM BIALIK: No, not all the time. Oh, I’ve had a couple instances, but I don’t know if those count as when someone says something and it is a partial truth.

JONATHAN COHEN: I can’t say it’s all the time, but often when someone tells me something that feels off, it feels off. And there’s more information there. I’m not saying they’re lying. I’m not saying that they’re misleading me in any particular way, but they may not have all the information, or they may not have questioned the information that they got. And so it just feels there’s a lack of coherence in what the message is.

MAYIM BIALIK: Now I feel bad that we taught you that word coherence. You’re going to use it all the time.

JONATHAN COHEN: I’m going to use it all the time.

MAYIM BIALIK: We’re going to be in the supermarket and you’re going to be like, there is not coherence with this chocolate turtle that you want me to buy you.

The inner knowing and intuition that this is talking about is that strong gut feeling you have to do or not do something, or sudden clarity or insight, or a favorite one of yours, feeling guided to change plans at the last moment. I just call this chaos and bad planning, but Jonathan will be like, I have a very strong feeling I should not drive on the freeway today.

JONATHAN COHEN: You love to make me seem like I am just a chaos monster. But yes to what you’re saying. And it doesn’t always have to be this very strong, clear sign. It may be that you’re being nudged towards something, but this is important because it feels like intuition can get confused by a massive bit of information or a feeling that makes you almost unable to move unless you follow it, whereby tapping into a more subtle calling can lead you to being able to hold space for something or have something process or for synchronicity to unfold in a way that’s more helpful for you.

Next one is dreams. Can spirit communicate through dreams?

MAYIM BIALIK: I mean, this is one of the best ways I can imagine that spirit could communicate. If I had to choose one and be like, okay, fine, I’ll admit that— mainly because I come from a religious tradition where we had a period of prophecy and the prophets were spoken to in dreams. They would have these elaborate, often very terrifying dreams, and that was prophecy, right? It was known that when I go night-night, something is moving in my consciousness. And so I come from kind of that notion of tradition.

And a lot of times we do get insight, we get clarity from dreams. It’s not always clear, but I do feel like Suzanne has given us a little bit of framework for why it might not always be like that. Like, here’s a dream about this, that, and the other. It’s why when any therapist does dream analysis, they say, “Well, how does that make you feel?” Because some people might have a scary dream about a shark, and some people might have an exciting, comforting dream about a shark. It’s what it means to you that is important. And so that is one level of communication.

JONATHAN COHEN: The last one, sense of presence.

MAYIM BIALIK: So this could be like feeling somebody’s near. Before I realized that you had a tracker on my phone, I thought you could just tell when I was getting close to you. And I was like, how does he know? It’s really an important connection.

JONATHAN COHEN: You shared your location data.

MAYIM BIALIK: I forgot.

JONATHAN COHEN: I didn’t put a tracker on your phone. That’s a very different thing.

MAYIM BIALIK: Sorry. I meant before I knew that I had extended the ability that you have to see where I am. But also some people get warmth, tingling, or physical sensations, or thinking of someone and then they think of you, or feeling their presence strongly. Sometimes you and I will text at the same time.

JONATHAN COHEN: Here’s a silly thing to say, like when we’ve been out of communication for hours, all of a sudden we’ll both be like—

MAYIM BIALIK: And so my first thought was, that happens with you more than anyone else, it must be a true connection. And then I realized—

JONATHAN COHEN: And then you’re going to think, but we just happen to text more than anyone else.

MAYIM BIALIK: So if I do 86 times more often than I do with most people, chances are that’s going to happen with us anyway. That is sense of presence. Those are your top 5 ways to know that you’re being guided by spirit.

Join the Community

JONATHAN COHEN: We want to hear all the ways that you’re guided by spirit. We have an amazing Breaker community over on Substack that share unbelievable stories of awakening spiritual connection. We also have a lot of people who are asking and learning how to connect more with their intuition. If you want to check it out, Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown on Substack.

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