Hi, this is Robin Sharma, author of the Leader Who Had No Title, founder of The Titan Academy. And welcome to this Mastery Session called How Legendary Leaders Speak.
So this is what I call a gargantuan opportunity for you to out-communicate, out-connect with, out-influence everyone in your marketplace. The reality is, and I’ve been working with senior leaders across the planet for well over 20 years, most leaders, most business people, most entrepreneurs, most human beings, have never learned to be masterful communicators. And the very nature of influence and impact, which is the leader’s job, is communication.
In school, were you given a communication course? Very few people have been taught that. In your personal relationships, have you read books on communication? Well that leads to, in an intimate relationship, or even just with a friend.
It’s the little miscommunications that over time stack into loss In your intimate relationships, it’s the little conversations that you could have had in five minutes if you had the tools to communicate and the awareness to speak.
So literally, you could release the anger and build understanding and speak out your needs and feel the need to be heard, all those little things. If you had learned how to do that and done it in five minutes with your intimate partner, you might not have lost the relationship. And in your professional life, learning to communicate inspires your teammates.
You know, if you look at the great leaders of humanity, the Nelson Mandelas, the Mother Theresas, the Martin Luther King Jrs, the John F Kennedys. If you look at the great business builders Steve Jobs, great example. He would be on the stage at the product launch and then that favorite line, “One more thing.”
And that’s when he would reveal the latest piece of technology that would create industry dominance when Steve Jobs was at Apple. Well he was a masterful communicator. And Bud Tribble over at Apple called it his reality distortion field.
Steve Jobs was a master salesman. He knew exactly what to say to get people to believe in the impossible. To allow their I can’t to be less valuable than their I can.
So point number one or insight number one, to be a world class communicator and a legendary leader in terms of your influence is precision of languaging. Spend a lot of time on airplanes, you probably do as well. I was on an aircraft last weekend.
And here’s what I heard someone say. The flight attendant walked down through the cabin and said to one of the passengers, “Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t ask to hang up your coat.”
And here’s what the reply from the gentleman was “Oh, don’t be silly. Don’t be silly.”
And the way that landed on me was I know he was trying to be gracious but he literally told someone that they were silly. And I see this everywhere.
Someone very close to me who was a little sloppy with her languaging said, “Oh, I forgot to do this. Punch myself in the face.” And I very lovingly said can I offer an insight. Look at the words you just used. Think about that.
Here’s someone saying, “Oh, I forgot to do this, it’s not on my to-do list. I should punch myself in the face.” If you say that every day, what’s that doing to your self esteem? If you say that over a lifetime, what’s that doing to your self identity? And as you know if you followed me on previous episodes, your income is a function of your self-identity.
And your performance is a reflection of your personal story. And the way you build your self architecture, and the way you see yourself in the world, is in part through your words. You’re never going to rise any higher in terms of your impact in the world than the way you see yourself.
If you see yourself as average, well you’re not going to read the books, go to the events, do the study, put in the training time, find the mentors, do the work, to rise to world class, because you’re running an interior psychological story that says you’re average and the A-Players are somehow different from you.
If deep down inside you’re coming from scarcity and you think you know what, I’ll never have more than the salary that I’m making because of the story that you have through the words you’ve used, well then you’re not going to go out there and ask for the big order.
You’re not going to go start the big business. You’re not going to read the books on financial mastery because deep inside you would say, “What would be the point, I’m not one of those people.” And if you want to re-wire your self identity, so you go out in the world and you’re literally operating at legendary, then you absolutely must dial into this first point of what legendary leaders do in terms of the way they speak, which is get your precision of languaging right. I’m no master. I’m not perfect. I’m flawed. I’m a human being.
But one thing I get right is I’m very calibrated about the words I use. Because like I say, the great leaders, how do they transform humanity? It was through their words. How did the great military generals get their armies to go out there on fire? It was through their words.
Words can free nations. And as we know from history, words from evil leaders have destroyed humanity, caused brutality. Words are that powerful. They not only affect your interior psychology. and your identity, they have a profound impact on the world around you. So I don’t call autumn fall. I don’t want to say we’re going to have a great fall.
Because I don’t want to affect, influence my subconscious to say to my team, hey we’re going to have a great fall. Because they’re going to go, okay got it. But subconsciously that’s suggesting a fall, a failure. So I say we’re going to have an awesome autumn.
I can’t wait to execute on our deliverables and our big five for the next three months. When I communicate with my children I’m so careful because one phrase spoken to a child could set up a wound and a limiting belief that destroys their potential over the course of a lifetime.
Little kid is singing and you say, “Shut up! Your voice is terrible.” That could set up a core belief and an emotional wound so that they never sing again. You say this to your child in a moment of frustration and irritation because you haven’t worked on your gracefulness within.