Joe Rogan Podcast: #2445 w/ Bert Kreischer (Transcript)

You know who did a great fing prank call recording? Greg Fitzsimmons.

BERT KREISCHER: Really?

JOE ROGAN: Oh, my God, it’s hilarious. He did this one where he called a rental car place, and he said that the car was on fire because they went to the gas station and they filled up pots and pans with gas and they put it in the back seat and Bobby’s smoking. And now the car’s on fire. You got to hear this guy freaking out. What do you mean the car’s on fire? You can’t do that anymore, dude.

Comedy Legends and Influences

BERT KREISCHER: You know when people go, what kind of music you listen to when you talk to a real musician? You talk to the Black Keys, right? And then you go, what do you guys listen to? They’re like, have you heard of the Velvet Thud or something?

JOE ROGAN: Right, right. They got some obscure…

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah. And they’re like, that’s what you need to listen to. When people say, I listen to Sunday Papers, that’s Fitzsimmons and Gibbons podcast. I go, you’re real comedy fans. Those are the two funniest human beings alive ever. Greg Fitzsimmons. When I got ready for Lucky, I brought him on the road with me. I was like, dude, I trust you. Just tell me where I’m sloppy. Tell me where I’m lazy. Tell me where I’m leaving jokes.

And that first night, he was like, you got a minute? And he went through my whole hour. He’s like, I think you’re leaving this on the table, dude. Those motherf*ers are the funniest dudes alive. Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Greg’s awesome. We started out together. We started one week apart from each other.

BERT KREISCHER: For real?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, literally, we went on the road. God. In the early days, Greg and I traveled everywhere. We did open mic. We would drive to Rhode Island, do open mics together.

BERT KREISCHER: He was a great example of the first dude I ever saw talking about his family on stage. And it wasn’t nerdy.

JOE ROGAN: Right, right, right.

BERT KREISCHER: Him and his son ran a train on his wife.

JOE ROGAN: What?

BERT KREISCHER: It was a great joke. He was like, I had my first threesome. It was with my son. So it’s a little awkward. I’m f*ing Greg’s joke up. He goes, my son was breastfeeding. I was getting her from behind. We had the high five in the middle. But I remember hearing that as a… Remember when being a dad as a comic was off limits?

JOE ROGAN: Right, right.

BERT KREISCHER: And I saw that, and I just had Georgia. The second person I saw… The first person’s Greg, the second person I saw, and I mean, I’m talking just had Georgia, was Louis f*ing CK. I went and worked the road with him, and he was doing all the material for that first special that popped for him, and he was talking about his kids.

And he was just like, “My daughter’s a c.” And he goes, “I know I’m not supposed to say that, but what else do you say to someone who won’t put their shoes on? They’re a c. We’re trying to leave the house, and they won’t put their shoes on. Imagine if you wouldn’t leave.” And it was just… And it was like I’m sitting there, lost in what I thought was stand up, which was some imitation of Dane, you know? And I’m watching Louie going, this is something totally different. Yeah, those guys.

Best prank call I’ve ever heard. Sidebar. Brendan Walsh.

JOE ROGAN: Brandon Walsh is a funny motherf*er.

BERT KREISCHER: Brendan Walsh.

JOE ROGAN: What’s he up to?

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t know. I think he does more art comedy, you know, more like performance.

JOE ROGAN: Well, he does these podcasts where he puts a neck brace on, a wig and giant glasses, and he plays a character. He’s a funny dude, man. Do you remember he’s an Austin guy?

Brendan Walsh Stories

BERT KREISCHER: He was an Austin guy. Yeah, he was. I remember he… Do you remember he was on your podcast? I remember him telling you the story. And I think about this all the time. A Circuit City had closed by his house, and so… And he lives in Silver Lake. Do you remember that?

JOE ROGAN: That’s right. He made a prank. He told everybody it was turning into a Whole Foods, and he got everybody so excited. Oh, Whole Foods is coming to Silver Lake.

BERT KREISCHER: He just did it for himself. Yeah. So then he could be at the coffee shop and hear people talking about Whole Foods. He did a prank call. I think Stanhope sent it to me. He was like, this is the best prank call ever. And it’s Brendan calling a phone sex line. And, you know, they always try to keep you on the line. Right?

So he’s like, “Hey, what are you wearing?” She was like, “Nothing. What are you wearing?” He’s like, “Nothing.” And then you hear a dog barking in the back, and she goes, “Is that your dog?” He’s like, “Yeah, yeah, ignore him. Ignore him.” And then the dog barks a little longer, and he’s like, “Tell me, what are you touching yourself?” And then you hear a baby crying in the back, and she’s like, “Is that your baby?” And he’s like, “No, it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s a different room. I’m totally fine.”

And then you hear a woman come in and go, “Are you on the f*ing phone sex again?” And he’s like, “Hey, leave me alone.” And she’s like, “Do you know when to do this later?” And he’s like, “Don’t worry about it.” And then you hear a marching band come in playing, and he’s just trying to hold her on the line.

Dude, I was crying. That is… You know, not to get too meta about it, but comedy has become so… And I’m a part of this. I’m so self promotional. And put it on. I got to tell you, it’s a new show. When you see someone like Brendan or like Greg and Mike, who just do it for the pure… just to make themselves giggle. Yeah, it’s so beautiful. Gillis is like that.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, Gillis is Gillis.

Shane Gillis and Tour Stories

BERT KREISCHER: I always think he’s just a… My favorite Shane Gillis story that I will tell until I die. We’re doing Fully Loaded the first year. And it’s Shane’s on, everyone. Mark’s on, everyone. Nikki’s on, everyone. It’s like, it’s the best year. We probably did it. No offense. And Shane sees my daughter Georgia, who’s being a PA with her friend Daisy, and it’s the very last night.

And Shane walks up and he’s like, “You guys sneaking beers?” And they’re like, “No.” He goes, “Oh, come on. I’m not going to rat you out.” I’m like, “No, we’re not.” And he’s like, “Come on, you’re 18 years old. You’re on tour. It’s our last night. You guys are sneaking beers.” And they’re like, “We’re not sneaking beers.” He goes, “I can smell the beer on you.” And they’re like, “We’ve been sneaking beers.” And he goes, “Okay.” And he just sits down right next to me. “Georgia’s sneaking beers.”

JOE ROGAN: Did you know she was sneaking beers?

BERT KREISCHER: No. I had no idea. Shane just f*ing ratted her out.

JOE ROGAN: She’s your daughter.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: You’re getting hammered every night. You’re not going to notice. Dad’s drunk. He won’t even know if we’re drunk.

BERT KREISCHER: She would… Yeah, she… It’s funny because I go to her college and other dads, you know, party. And she’s always kind of low key about it. Dads will bite beer cans and kill them and shotgun beers.

The Shannon Sharpe Interview Mishap

JOE ROGAN: What?

BERT KREISCHER: I know. That’s what dads do. Really? Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Which dads? Dads.

BERT KREISCHER: You’re in a different school zone. That’s what dads do. And I’m always like, you know, this is what I do for a living. Like, I could murder these guys. She’s like, dad. I’m like, oh, you like him crushing a beer and shotgunning it like a microdose. What are we talking about?

JOE ROGAN: Were you talking about Jamie? I’m sorry. Right before we get started, you were telling me about something. The REM sleep or lucid dreaming? Sleep. Communication. I got to figure out where I put it. I sent a DM to someone about that, I think.

So I got to tell you before we find that. So Eddie Bravo calls me the other day, and he goes, “Did Bert Kreischer lose everything and then get it back?” I go, “What?” And he goes, “Yeah. It was so confusing. He was on Shannon Sharpe show, and Shannon says to Bert, what was it like? You lost everything and then you had to build it back?” And he goes, “It seemed like it wasn’t true.” I go, “It’s not true.” And I go, “Did Bert go along with it?” He goes, “Yeah.” I go, “What?”

And I couldn’t wait to talk to you about it, because I could totally picture someone saying to you some story that totally never happened, and you not wanting to be confrontational, so you just go along with it. Is that what happened?

BERT KREISCHER: 100%.

JOE ROGAN: 100%? How did you not say that never happened?

BERT KREISCHER: He just caught me off guard.

JOE ROGAN: He caught you off guard? I was like, did at any point in time you say, I should probably say this never happened?

BERT KREISCHER: No, I was like, he was like, “You lost everything.” In my head I was like, I did.

JOE ROGAN: He was like, “But you made it all back.” And I go, I did.

BERT KREISCHER: Where is this coming from?

JOE ROGAN: I have no idea. He said it, and I just was like, huh?

BERT KREISCHER: Why did you say that? I don’t know.

JOE ROGAN: I didn’t even know what I said after. He’s like, “How did you do it?” And I just was like, “I don’t know, Shannon. I just focused and really started…” Like, I have no f*ing clue. I should not be allowed to talk on microphones. I literally was like, I don’t know what I said even after it, to be honest with you, but I was like, I guess he has it in his notes. So I was like, yeah, so someone…

BERT KREISCHER: Must have googled the Bert Kreischer. Probably some Reddit thread. Bert Kreischer lost everything, I guess.

JOE ROGAN: And like, you know, the stories about you online are more prevalent than the true ones. So you just go, I guess that’s what he heard, and you just went with it. I don’t know.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s so weird to do.

JOE ROGAN: I was. I had no. I was like, in my head, I was like, trying to think maybe he was talking about, like, you know, I had development deals when I got into the business.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, but you didn’t lose them. They gave you money.

JOE ROGAN: No, no, no. But…

BERT KREISCHER: Just never became a show.

JOE ROGAN: But then. No, but I’m saying, like, maybe I was. In my head, I was like, maybe he’s thinking that, like, you know, I had a lot of development deals early, and then I didn’t for a few years, and I worked the road, and maybe that’s what he was saying. And then I made. I’m back. I don’t know. I was like…

BERT KREISCHER: But even when you work the road, you worked the road. Then you had the Travel Channel show. There was no period where it made sense.

JOE ROGAN: By the way, that is the least of my fist or fry on that f*ing show. I got in so much trouble. That show. Every clip you do goes viral. Every. I just am like, when I got done that, I haven’t felt this in a long time. I was like. I was like, wow. I was like, I think I’m going to get a lot of text when this airs.

The Shannon Sharpe Show Format

BERT KREISCHER: Well, it seems like he wants that, right? He’s got a lot of people on the show that talk a lot of s. A lot of people. Like Cat Williams, famously, was that. That episode was fing amazing.

JOE ROGAN: We talked about that.

BERT KREISCHER: Went in on everybody, including me. That’s why I got him on the podcast that Joe Rogan might have me on.

JOE ROGAN: Has the same funny three motherf*ers unfunny.

BERT KREISCHER: The same seven unfunny motherf*ers. I was like, dude, I love Cat Williams. What are you talking about?

JOE ROGAN: He’s the best.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m like, I never met him.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: I’d never met him before. It’s like, it wasn’t that I wouldn’t have him on. It’s like, I didn’t even know he wanted to come on. I would have had him on.

JOE ROGAN: That interview was with him was epic, amazing, and accurate.

BERT KREISCHER: The thing about his s* talking is it’s not. He’s not lying.

JOE ROGAN: No, no, it’s. It’s. You know, it’s. When I got out, I was like, it’s. I don’t. I don’t mean this with disrespect, but it’s less Shannon, I think, more as producers, because he’s got cards. So I think the producers are like, what? What clip’s going to pop? I think they go online, right?

BERT KREISCHER: They try to find controversial subjects.

JOE ROGAN: Like, he brought up. I told you he brought up one. He’s like, “Bert, you think Kevin Hart’s just lucky?”

BERT KREISCHER: And I was like, oh.

Kevin Hart and the Luck Factor

JOE ROGAN: I was like. I said that fing 12 years ago. And it was just. It was all it was. And I know I’m even. But this is what it was, Joe. It’s like at a time when none of us were making money, not you, but, like, the young accomplishments were making money. And you’re online and you watch Kevin, and, you know, Kevin knows I love him, but Kevin’s like, “I’m the hardest working motherfer. I’m the hardest working.”

And in my head, I was like, we’re all working hard, like. But a lot of people, you know, were just, you know, waiting for a moment to get in front of people. And then I was like. And then I had an agent, very casually, like, not mine, but at a thing goes, “You know, Kevin should mention how lucky he got.” I was like, “What do you mean?” He was like, “You know about Fool’s Gold, right?” I was like, “No.”

He’s like, “Well, that’s the beef between Kevin and Cat is Cat packed a gun in his luggage to go shoot Fool’s Gold. And he got detained. And they were in production, and they’re like, we need someone small and black to fit these clothes. We already got clothes for him.” Yeah. And he’s like, “Get Kevin Hart.”

And that was the story I wanted Kevin to tell because that as a comic, you can kind of put your head around that. And I’ve. And I. And by the way, I did not do a good job of explaining it on Shannon’s show, because it’s like, you know, I’m a f*ing talk out of my a.

But, like, every comic has had these, like, moments that skyrocket them, right? These moments that pop. And I went through it, and I think you’ll understand it now, but for me, it was the machine story going viral. For Bill Burr, it’s the Philly rant with Bill. That Philly rant just put him in the next level.

Jim Jeffries, he gets punched in the head at the Comedy Seller or Comedy Store in London. His manager happens to be a guy that knows the Internet. Brett Vincent posted on MySpace goes viral. Every comic that pops always has that Tom. As I was telling this to Tom, he goes, “Yeah, it was me. Netflix.” He was like, Tom got on Netflix. I mean, I didn’t even realize this.

Tom said it to me. He got on Netflix when there were two comics on Netflix, Bill Burr and Tom Segura. Bill puts his special out there. Like, “Did you like Bill Burr, you might like Tom Segura.” And Tom’s like, “If Comedy Central had bought I would have been f*ed. But instead I sold it to this small streamer, Netflix, and the only other one they had was Bill Burr.”

And so as comics, I think sometimes, and you know how much I believe in luck, it’s so it’s easier to hear about someone’s luck where you go, oh, that is crazy. That happenstance. I mean, we’ve said it about you and I know you probably disagree maybe to a certain descent, but you’re. I thought, I think the greatest thing that ever happened to you was that getting kicked out of the Comedy Store, that period of time where you had to reval your, evaluate yourself and you created this, what you have and you re.

I mean, you would speak to it better than I could. But I think as comics, we look at you reinventing yourself and reimagining yourself and making it your own f*ing entity and creating this podcast which has changed all of our lives, that moment. And it must have been tough to lose your agent, get kicked out of the Comedy Store and, and have to figure things out that we all got behind. Everyone got behind you. Everyone was like, that’s my guy. I mean, I’m curious what your feelings about that are.

BERT KREISCHER: Certainly had an impact. You know, it was also the men video where people could clearly see that I was right.

JOE ROGAN: Yes.

The Comedy Store Incident

BERT KREISCHER: And then we were all a victim. Like, we were all hiding at the store. Like, when he would go on stage or he would be in the back of the room, if you were on stage, they would flash the light to let you know that he was in the room. You know, crazy that is that there’s a guy around that steals so much that they have to flash a light whenever a comic’s on stage. And then comics would just start doing crowd work. Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: That’s insane.

BERT KREISCHER: It was crazy. So all the comics knew that what I was saying was the truth and it was proved by, like, the consequences of someone who was already successful. Right. So I was already on Fear Factor at the time. I was already a known person and I lost my agent and I got kicked out of the store.

JOE ROGAN: That video, that video was akin to the Philly rant, Jim Jeffries getting pun, that viral moment for you, which it…

BERT KREISCHER: Was also how well Red Band put it together too. He’s such a good editor. He’s so brilliant. It was music. He went back in time. He, like, you know, like, he spent a lot of time working on that. It was a work of art.

But it was, you know, it was the first time that someone was held accountable because, you know, we don’t have to name names, but we all know people who snuck through and still kind of have careers, although greatly diminished impact because, like, when they go on stage now, people are excited to see them because they’re famous. And then that immediately goes away when you realize there’s nothing there.

They have no material because they have to write for themselves now. Yeah, you see a giant drop off. You see the early specials with, like, great jokes and really funny. And then you see, like, what is this nonsense towards the end? It’s just like weird, like, nonsensical rants on thing. It’s bizarre to watch. But that’s what happens when you get exposed and you have to do your own s*. And there’s a few of those guys floating around out there.

Health and Cigars

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It’s crazy because the one thing I can’t smoke cigars. Blood clot. Yeah, I’m not supposed to smoke cigars. I mean, I could text my cardiologist and see what he says.

JOE ROGAN: I heard cigars are good for you.

BERT KREISCHER: They gave them to Teddy Roosevelt.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, look what happened to him.

BERT KREISCHER: You know, I could have one cigar if you’re going to smoke one in here.

JOE ROGAN: Come on, son.

BERT KREISCHER: Just do like Old School Rogan, where anytime I smoked weed, you had to pull the camera away from me because you’re on a travel channel.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I mean, we all have a moment where things… But it’s like an accumulation of those moments, right?

Viral Moments and Career Breakthroughs

BERT KREISCHER: It’s, you know what it is? It’s like you get that moment. Like, I’ll use Burr as an example because, you know, only because I’ve talked to him about this specifically, but like, he didn’t love the Philly rant because right away everyone thought, oh, that’s his thing. We’re going to heckle him and he’ll go lose his s*. So he didn’t love it.

But the thing is that that goes viral, and then you Google that person, you’re like, who is this? And then you see a body of work that’s undeniable, and you’re like, oh, Bill Burr’s my guy. You know, for Shane, I mean, in my opinion, it’s that YouTube special he did. And then you see Gillis and Keeves, you see all his sketches.

JOE ROGAN: It was also him getting kicked off by SNL.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Him getting kicked off SNL was huge.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: It was the best thing that ever happened to him. If he was on SNL, he got buried on that show, like a lot of people. But instead he gets kicked off. A bunch of people are mad at him, and then they’re like, well, what did he actually say? And then people start looking into it, and they go, oh, he was just f*ing around. He was pretending to be a racist guy in Chinatown. Yeah, that was the bit.

Like, he was just, they were just talking s* on a podcast. And then he releases that special, and you go, oh, he’s actually a great comic.

BERT KREISCHER: He’s a dude. His Special Olympics joke.

JOE ROGAN: He’s got so many good jokes.

BERT KREISCHER: His Special Olympic jokes. We were in the bus one time, and my cousin Andrew goes, has anyone know Shane Gillis? And I’ve known Shane for a while. I have hysterical emails that he sent me back when he was just like over Micah or whatever, like, going like, hey, man, I feel like we connected. They’re the greatest, Joe. If he knew that I was, he’d be, she’d face him and go, hey, can I read your emails on Joe? He’d fing lose his s. They’re so f*ing hysterical, Joe, I’ll send them to you.

And so I go, yeah, I love Shane. I love Shane, the day I met him, he goes, he’s like, yeah, I’m supposed to go out with my girlfriend tonight. And I was like, but it was like 10 in the morning. We were drinking fireball. And he was like, 10 in the morning? Yeah, we were doing, I used to do call in sick to work shows where we’d go to the club.

JOE ROGAN: He was a fireball at 10 a.m.?

BERT KREISCHER: He’s like, that’s what he said. He said, I’m sorry, my girlfriend. I said, what’s your girlfriend’s name? And he goes, Big Tuna. And I went, Big Tuna? He goes, she’s a big girl. And I was like, yeah, I figured for the name Shane. And I f*ing from that day on.

But that Special Olympic jokes, when he, we listened to it in the bus, he’s like, what do you think? Should we race them? I mean it. We were crying, fing laughing. That’s like one of my favorite jokes I’ve fing ever.

JOE ROGAN: He’s got a lot of great bits, but that special that he did at the Creek in the Cave, that was like, people got to see. They’re like, oh, okay. Well, this is what he does. He touches on that third rail. You know, the third rail, rather. And it’s like, you know, it’s funny. It’s really funny. And they were trying to label him as this horrible racist that Saturday Night Live hired.

BERT KREISCHER: But, you know, anything but from my opinion.

Controversy and Growth

JOE ROGAN: But that, but that happens, man. You’re going to, you know, you’re going to get attacked. There’s always something. There’s always something that a comic says where someone’s going to get mad. Especially in this day and age, people are just looking for things to get mad.

But almost always it helps them if they’re a good comic. Almost always. Like Tony Hinchcliffe, it blew him up. Like almost always when something happens, you get attacked. People start looking at you. Actually this guy’s really funny. And then they become a fan.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Because you’re just getting so many more eyeballs. The people that are looking to hate you, they’re going to hate you no matter what. But there’s going to be a bunch of people that are all like, what’s going on? And then they look into it.

I mean, that happened to me during COVID. I gained 2 million followers in like a month. 2 million followers on Spotify in a month when they were trying to pull me off of Spotify, when all like all these music artists were calling me a vaccine denier and removing their podcast, removing their music. Like when Neil Young. And it was Joni Mitchell. Yeah. Joni Mitchell. They were, they publicly removed their pot, their, their music from Spotify because of my podcast.

BERT KREISCHER: Are they back?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. I don’t know if Joni Mitchell is, but yeah, Neil Young is. I don’t even think Neil Young actually owned his music, which was funny. I think it was just like a ploy. I mean, it’s like, I think he probably believed a lot of things he was saying. He was just misinformed. He just didn’t understand that I was actually talking to people that were legitimate scientists that turned out they were right now. Now we know.

Yeah, but back then, it was like there was this hysteria about it, and a lot of people that were very skeptical started tuning in. And then the whole CNN thing, when they turned me, like, all that s*, it just, that helped.

Dealing with Negative Press

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t know if I could have, like, I’m not good. People always go, you know, if they’re talking about you, it’s good. All press is good press. And I, but anytime anything negative comes out about me, it f*ing devastates me. I don’t, like, I could not have gone through what you went through.

JOE ROGAN: You just don’t, I just don’t read it if you don’t read it. But you don’t, like, when you.

BERT KREISCHER: Like, how do you, because like, you come up in my newsfeed all the time and like, and I’m, I’m such a fing idiot that if I’m scrolling through Google News and I see my name, I go, oh, what’s that? And then I’m like, God d it.

JOE ROGAN: You can’t do that.

BERT KREISCHER: Last time I did this show, greatest experience, great hang, lucky. Streaming number one on Netflix. So fing happy. I’m in my bed going, things are going good for the big guy. Hit on Google News. And it’s like, picture of me and you. It was like, Bert Kreischer, Joe Rogan. And they’re like, Bert Kreischer ruins the Joe Rogan podcast. I’m like, motherfer.

And it was an MMA fing journalist. And I was like, wait, why? God d it. I was like, ugh. And then you see it and you’re like, well, it can’t be that bad. I’m read it. And they’re like, oh, my God.

But then my daughter Georgia said something very profound to me. She was like, why would you allow that? And I’m sure that guy will write that same article after this episode. She goes, I’m sure he will. I think the guy also has a f*ing football feed. He said, I ruined the, anytime I do something, there’s someone that says, Bert ruined it, and I’m the only one that reads it.

And my daughter Georgia goes, literally looked at me and goes, did you have fun with Joe? I went, yeah, I had a blast. I love being around Joe. She was like, then f it. She goes, your experience is the one that matters the most. She goes, what? Why would you allow someone to dictate your memory of an event? And I was like, who the f raised you? I was like, I don’t know.

JOE ROGAN: Well, you were on the road. She probably raised herself. That’s why she’s so wise. She had to form her own opinions.

BERT KREISCHER: She had to read books.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. She had to actually form her own opinions and think about things rationally. Having a father like you. Yeah. You can’t, you can’t pay attention, because the vast majority of people lived miserable lives. That’s Thoreau’s quote. Most men live lives of quiet desperation.

There’s a lot of people out there that are very, very sad, very unhappy, and looking to make something negative. They’re always looking to be a critic, which is fine, you know, that’s their prerogative. But it’s not, you don’t have to read it.

BERT KREISCHER: Well, it’s, I, I’m at the place now. Like, I took Google News. I took all Google and everything off my phone because the series premiered, and I didn’t want to get good or bad. I was like, good, because you can’t, you can’t quantify the good. Like, like, if you’re going to, if you listen to the good, you gotta listen the bad. And I was like, well, I don’t want to hear the bad, so I just want to hear the good.

And then, and then we were, Jamie and I were talking about this outside, but like, you have a social media team who’s posting like, like, like your, your, your claps. Like, they’re posting like the nice articles. And I’m like, don’t even post that. Because like, I don’t even, like, just stay out of it. Just let people like it. Let them like it. And if they don’t.

JOE ROGAN: People have their own opinions. That’s the best move. I don’t have anybody that does that. I don’t have any.

BERT KREISCHER: Do you post all your own stuff on Instagram?

JOE ROGAN: On Instagram. If I post it, it’s from me.

BERT KREISCHER: Really?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Always? Yeah. And then there’s the Joe Rogan Experience page that the staff does, but that is just a clip from the podcast they take an interesting clip or someone says something, it’s put up with no context. It just says, you know, episode, blah, blah, blah. That’s it. I try to do it as like, natural and neutral. You like it. You don’t like it. If you don’t like it, don’t listen to the next one. It’s okay.

Social Media Philosophy

BERT KREISCHER: So wait, what, what is your, what is the impetus for you to post something? Like, like when, at what point do you decide to share your life?

JOE ROGAN: Well, I just feel like if there’s something I think someone will think is interesting or something that I would like to see, if someone puts it on their feed, I’ll put it in there every now. But I don’t post that much.

BERT KREISCHER: You don’t?

JOE ROGAN: Because I don’t read that much. I stay off. I don’t think it’s good for you.

BERT KREISCHER: I think it’s.

JOE ROGAN: Not only do I not think it’s good for you, I think it’s genuinely bad for you. And it gets in the way of all the other stuff that I like to do, you know, I’m busy, man. I’m busy. There’s a lot of interesting s* to pay attention to in the world. I’m not one of those things. I don’t like paying attention to me, you know, and reading me or.

And I don’t want to like, go online and see too many car crashes and people getting shot and animal attacks, I guess. Tommy and I have the worst f*ing text message chain. Him and I, all day. Whenever he finds something like, unbelievably horrific, some guy getting run over by a truck, he’ll just send it to me, and then I’ll send it to him. And we’re always trying to one up each other.

So when I find something absolutely horrible, someone says me something absolutely horrible, I sent them. And then we just, that’s like, my main source of like, trauma online is my Tom Segura text message chain. But other than that, I pretty much stay off. I don’t think it’s good for you. And I feel way better. I started doing it a few months ago.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s like.

Social Media and Mental Health

JOE ROGAN: Like a force of habit. Like, I’m looking at it all the time. Let me just not look at it today. And then I did it another day and another day. I’m like, God, I feel better. I feel better. Like, I genuinely feel better. It’s like I’m getting over a cold or something like that.

And so I said, all right, well, obviously, like, engage. Definitely don’t read anything. Like, definitely don’t read when people say things about you. Definitely don’t read when you post something, read the comments. Don’t do any of that. You know, people get wrapped up in it, and you realize, like, people are just trying to take you down.

There’s so, I mean, not all of them. A lot of people are supporting you, but it doesn’t matter. If there’s like 10 people that love you and one person that hates you, you’re going to think about that one person, you know, which is nuts, but it’s just human nature.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s crazy. How that algorithm works is that it’s just like if there’s someone in the front row that’s not laughing. Like, last night, I had a, I don’t know, it was at bottom of the barrel. And I don’t know how rape came up, but it always does. And I was like, well, there’s no phones in here. Let’s go. I said, if I’m going to go for it, it’s in this room, right?

And there was a woman that did not like it, and she was a little vocal in the crowd, you know, the bouncer, like, yo, you know, let him, he’s working this out or whatever. And then she’s like, I was told to shut up. And then in the rest of the night, I’m watching her out of the corner of my eye going, God d* it. And then I just dug holes and holes and holes. And at one point, the whole audience is chanting rape. I’m like, oh, my God, this is bad. But it’s funny.

And then also it’s like, listen. Say you’re some fing dude looking for a connection in life, and you go to my page and you leave a hundred comments, and they’re like, you’re the best Bert. I love you. When you come to Cincinnati, I’m here. Tampa, I’ll be there, man. I’m going to drive. And then the one time he’s like, you’re a fing bitch. And then I reply, he’s like, oh, I guess that’s how I get the cat to come outside, you know? So that’s why I don’t read. I don’t read any comments.

The Ms. Rachel Controversy

JOE ROGAN: Whitney was going into, you know, the Whitney thing about Ms. Rachel. I didn’t know who Ms. Rachel is.

BERT KREISCHER: I found out who she is today. 1.8 billion views on how to say mom and dad. And I was like, it makes sense, man.

JOE ROGAN: Well, she’s an educator for neurodivergent kids. Is that what it is?

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah. I watched a couple of videos.

JOE ROGAN: Pull up some videos of Ms. Rachel, because after people were dragged, by the way, the worst fing people were going after her. People that I know that are comedians that are just unbelievably sty, dishonest, disingenuous human beings, bad faith communicators. People that just, like, completely distort anything about the person.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And it’s just because she’s successful. It’s a giant part of it. And so they see her making some crack about Ms. Rachel because she was watching it with her kid. She didn’t know what the f* it is. So here’s Ms. Rachel. Let me hear what this sounds like.

Okay, pause. Why would you go after this? Like, this is like a little kid show. She must have been bored.

BERT KREISCHER: There’s nothing different from this in Blue’s Clues, in my opinion.

JOE ROGAN: It’s a show for little kids.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Like, I don’t get it.

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t know. Maybe she was just bored. She was trying to write a joke and thought she’d get some traction, I guess.

JOE ROGAN: Maybe she took two instead of one, and then she got a little extra energy. I don’t know what she’s doing. All of a sudden she’s like, f* Ms. Rachel. But then she started responding to people because she didn’t understand what it was she said. And then she took it down and apologized.

But you can’t apologize to the mob. They come for you. They come for you. And she learned. And I texted her. I said, listen, I love you to death. You got to stop going back and forth with these people. You can’t do that. It’s not, they don’t, this is not a genuine conversation. They don’t care if you’re like, if you were a person and you were someone’s friend and you started sting on Ms. Rachel, and someone said, actually, that’s, like, for kids with learning disorders. And you’d be like, oh, f, I didn’t know that would be the end of it. And then we’d laugh, you know?

But these people are not looking for a real conversation. They’re just looking to destroy your life. And then so many people, like, she lost her career. Career’s over. Like, what? You were going to see her anyway, you c. Like, what are you talking about? You weren’t. You weren’t going to pay to see her anyway. Stop saying her career’s over. It’s not doing a d thing to her career. You just want it to be over because you live a miserable life, which is why you’re on threads 12 hours a day.

BERT KREISCHER: So funny you say that. I just read something negative about Whitney on Threads today. I was like, what does she do, bro? Threads is the worst. And then I saw the Ms. Rachel and I watched a video. I had two kids. I don’t know. I look at that as I go. That’s nice.

JOE ROGAN: Threads is like, for people who already been, like, humiliated on Twitter and they’re trying to find a new crowd. Yeah, it’s very weird. Very, very. Like, so much negativity. Not that Twitter isn’t like, Twitter’s super negative too.

BERT KREISCHER: I haven’t been on X. I try.

JOE ROGAN: To look at the news only. I try to look at news and things that people are exposing. That’s in the news, which is very interesting.

Communication During Dreams

Speaking of which, what was that thing that you found? So this is very strange. This is about people being able to communicate whether or not in lucid dreaming. I guess we’ll find out later, but scientists report first ever communication between two humans during sleep.

BERT KREISCHER: I’d love this.

JOE ROGAN: Scientists say that science fiction may be coming closer to reality. According to reports, California startup claims it successfully enabled two way communication between people while they were lucid dreaming. Participants were asleep in separate locations while researchers monitored their sleep and transmitted a coded word designed to be perceived inside a dream without waking them.

The system reportedly relied on sensors, wireless communication and specialized software to detect dream states and relay the message. The company’s founder says that what once sounded like science fiction could soon become a part of daily life. No independent scientific replication has confirmed the results. Yet still, the experiment builds on real research showing that interaction between lucid dreams is possible. Yeah, but what is the interaction?

BERT KREISCHER: The coded word, I guess. Was it.

JOE ROGAN: Did they relay the coded word to each other? They both got the coded word. That’s where I started getting into a weird space that I found out. This was posted on Instagram, like yesterday or something. I Googled it. Press Release was from 2024. Breakthrough from REM space. First ever communication between people in dreams.

So this is the article about it in Business Wire. Lucid dreams occur. Participants are sleeping in their homes. Brain waves and other polysomnographic data were tracked remotely. Specially designed developed apparatus. When the server detected the first participant entered a lucid dream, it generated a, how do they detect that someone’s in a lucid dream? Because a lucid dream is a dream where you’re aware that you’re dreaming.

BERT KREISCHER: Yes.

JOE ROGAN: It generated a random word and sent it to him via earbuds. Participant repeated the word in his dream with his response captured and stored on the server. What? Eight minutes later the next participant entered a lucid dream. She received the stored message from the first participant and confirmed it upon awakening. Huh.

BERT KREISCHER: It sounds like they’re saying it in the room and the person’s grabbing it.

JOE ROGAN: No, it’s sending it through earbuds.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: They were both in their own houses, it said. Yeah. So they receive it through earbuds. He says it in the dream and then she receives it. Huh. Well, you got to wonder what is happening in dreams. Dreams are very bizarre.

Lucid Dreaming Experiences

BERT KREISCHER: Have you ever lucid dreamed?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah. Not, I mean I’ve done it a couple of times, but I haven’t on purpose. And I’ve always wondered why not. Like why haven’t I read books on lucid dreams? Why haven’t I tried to do it?

BERT KREISCHER: I think it’s something that just happens.

JOE ROGAN: No, you could actually do it. You could. There’s guys that practice lucid dreaming.

BERT KREISCHER: I mean I lucid dream pretty extensively.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: Like I, ever since when I remember when you came out with Alpha Brain, you’re one of the first things you said it would help with lucid dreaming.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, if you take it before bed, it definitely helps with lucid dreaming.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah. And I remember saying I didn’t know what lucid dreaming was at the time. And then I found out I was lucid dreaming and I’ve lucid dreamed my whole life. But now that once I knew what it was, I could stay in a dream and I could go back into dreams. I could restart a dream that I just had, go back to sleep and go, I’m going back to dream.

JOE ROGAN: Really?

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, yeah. It sounds crazy and I know it sounds like horsesh, but I never knew what it was. I never knew what it was until Alpha Brain.

JOE ROGAN: There’s actual techniques that people practice and apparently they give classes and courses on how to do loose books written on it. There’s real techniques on how to lucid dream. I just never, I don’t know why. Like, I, when I’m tired, I just want to go to sleep. I go hard all day.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And when I crash, I just crash. I don’t want to be f*ing around, experimenting while I’m sleeping. I just want to go to sleep.

BERT KREISCHER: My lucid dreams primarily are either, like, I realize I’m dreaming. I go, I’m asleep. I’m dreaming. This isn’t real. Oh, s. I’m in control. And then a lot of times it has to do with fing. Like, I’m like, oh, I don’t have to put a condom on. This is great. This is fing. I can want to bang all these fing chicks in this room.

And then one time I had a lucid dream where I was like, I could, I knew I was dreaming. I was outside. I had to go up these steps into, like, an old cottage, like one of those old Hollywood cottages. And I was like, I got to f. I got to have sex with anyone I want. And in my dream, I was like, oh, I’ll pick your wife. How cool is that? And then I went into this cottage. I know I fed my wife. I know I could have f*ed her in real life and then.

But a lot of my dreams back in the day, when we, when I first started lucid dreaming, I would always decide to fly. And I remember, I remember I had one right after we, the first time I ever tried Alpha Brain, I had one. And it was, I was doing a photo shoot on Melrose, and I was like, I don’t want to be here. And then I was like, wait, I’m dreaming. This isn’t real. I was like, I’m going to fly home.

And so I just leapt up in the air, started flying over Hollywood and then over the hills. And then I was like, wait, I have no idea. I have no frame of reference for where I am. I was like, it’s getting dark. And I was like, where’s the 101? And then in the dream, I just started, kept flying, and then I’ll wake up shortly thereafter. But it’s a lot of, like, a lot of sex and a lot of flying.

JOE ROGAN: A lot of people breathe underwater in their dreams.

BERT KREISCHER: Never breathe underwater.

Dreams and the Subconscious Mind

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they breathe underwater in their dreams. They fly. Flying is really common.

BERT KREISCHER: I used to have crazy fing dreams. Wild. I sold a TV show to Comedy Central about my dreams. I’ve had dreams where I wake up laughing. I’ve had dreams where I wake up crying. I have such insane fing dreams. But no one ever wants to hear you.

I would have dream joke dreams. Real joke dreams. I had a dream—this is a real dream I had—where I was on stage and I was in a dance position like this. And I know this sounds horseshit. It’s a real dream. And the curtain’s drawn and I look around and I see I’m standing on stage with four or five dudes that are all in clan outfits. And I’m like, “Oh, f*.” And I look down and I realize I’m in a Klan outfit. And I’m like, “Motherfucker.”

And I’m like, I got to get off stage. And the curtains draw back. And I hear—and it’s an all black people. And I hear the voice of God go, “Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the Click Clack Clan.” And we started tap dancing and we were so good that the black people got to their feet and they started cheering. And we’re like, “Oh, my God.”

And so, yeah, and that was a real dream. I woke up and I wrote it down. I used to write down all my dreams, voice text them. I used to voice text them all. I’d have dreams about you and Stanhope and Joey Diaz. It was my whole world. I used to think to myself, I dream about Shaq. The other day, I was like, I wonder if Shaq ever dreams about me.

JOE ROGAN: I bet he doesn’t.

BERT KREISCHER: I bet he doesn’t. Who’s someone you’ve had a dream about recently?

JOE ROGAN: I don’t really have dreams. Too many dreams about people. Not people that I know.

BERT KREISCHER: What are your dreams about?

JOE ROGAN: My dreams are weird, man.

BERT KREISCHER: Let’s dig into this.

Joe’s Alien Encounter Dream

JOE ROGAN: I had a dream that I came on the podcast I had to talk about because it was the absolute strangest, most realistic dream of my life. And it was a dream where I encountered these beings that were not human. And it was insanely realistic.

They were very human. I think there was four of them. They were tall and thin and they look kind of—they didn’t look human. Their heads were too big, their eyes are too big. And I can’t remember. I think they had teeth. I don’t remember. But I remember they were joking with me. They scared me and they went, “Ah, just f*ing around,” trying to get me comfortable with who they are.

And they were communicating with me somehow or another through thoughts. And I was really freaked out because they seemed to very, very real. It didn’t seem like any other dream that I had so much so that I woke up at 3:30 in the morning. And I just lay in bed for an hour trying to go back to sleep. And I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was almost like, I’m not sleep, I’m wide awake.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And so I went to the gym and I just worked out at 4 in the morning. And I worked out for two hours. And after it was over, I got in the sauna, did the whole thing, and then I came to work. I was like, I have to talk about this right away because it was so strange.

It was one of the only dreams that I’ve ever had that did not feel at all like a dream. It felt like I was encountering someone or something that was trying to get me comfortable with the idea of encountering them. It wasn’t like a dream. I was in the corridor of something that seemed like it was not like it was from here, it was like from somewhere else.

But it was almost like it was very oddly lit. The walls were lit in a very strange way. But it was almost like it was—it had a feeling almost like it was organic, like it was alive, like it was a living thing. It was very f*ing strange.

BERT KREISCHER: What if that was—but what if that is something that you did, in fact experience that was taken out of your memory and then it’s stuck in your memory and you’re dreaming about it?

JOE ROGAN: I don’t know. I mean, you could maybe all day long, right? And so my feeling was that I had—and this is, again, it clearly was. I was dreaming, right? So it clearly could have been just a dream. But what it felt like was that it was an actual encounter with intelligence that wasn’t human. That’s what it felt like.

And it felt like these things were not—they were not us. And maybe they were what a human will be someday because they were human-like. But they were very slender, they were very thin, and they were wearing these suits that were almost like rash guards, like what surfers wear, but a strange fabric. It looked weird and it was the color of their skin. But it was clear that they were wearing something.

It didn’t appear that they had any genitals. They had no muscle tone at all. They were just thin. And they were communicating with me and looking at me. And they were close, like where you are right now. And I think, like I said, I think it was at least three of them. I think there was four of them. But I remember there was one that was going like, joking around with me, trying to scare me.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And then it felt to me after they did it, like, relax. This is okay. Don’t be freaked out. Whatever this is, don’t be freaked out. And then I woke up.

And then there was also this weird reptilian element of it. There was a barrier. They had a barrier and they were feeding, with—they were pouring food to these things that almost was letting me know. The protection between you and this horrific danger that’s out there in the world, in the universe, in life, is very—it’s very thin. There’s very thin protection. There’s not much protection.

It was just a simple barrier. A blockade they put to keep a crowd from passing through an area to let you know you’re not supposed to go here.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s crazy. How long ago did you have this dream?

JOE ROGAN: A few months ago.

BERT KREISCHER: But isn’t it so wild that something that didn’t happen—

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: Can be locked in your memory and then you just—you’re like, God, it affects you. Almost like it did.

JOE ROGAN: Well, now it’s like a memory of my recollection of the memory, which is odd, which is memories in general, which is why people distort memories and change them and make, you know, make the past something that’s not really—you’ve talked to people that—yeah, yeah, yeah, we all do it.

BERT KREISCHER: I do it on podcasts.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, everybody does it. But this was different. Whatever this dream was. I mean, look, there’s a lot of confusion about what happens during sleep. You know, we don’t exactly know why you have dreams and what it’s all—what’s the function of it? What’s the purpose of it. But this one was different. It was much more realistic than any dream I had ever experienced before.

The interaction between me and these creatures, these beings was very different than anything I’d ever experienced in a dream. I felt it physically and I woke up. I can sleep on a bag of rocks. I can just go to sleep, dude. It drives my wife crazy because she struggles to sleep. And if we got on a plane, I just—I’m out because I’m always going. So when it’s downtime, I don’t have a problem sleeping. I can go to sleep. I sleep on a roof. I could sleep.

I couldn’t go back to sleep, which is really weird for me. I mean, I was wide awake at 4 in the morning. You know, I’m like, okay, I’m going to the gym. Because I laid in bed for a whole hour trying to go back to sleep. And it’s just a dream. Just go to sleep. I’m like, dude, just get up. You’re not going to sleep. And I’m like, all right, well, I’m up. I’ll just go work out. Maybe that’ll help me go to sleep. Nope. I was wide awake. Wide awake.

I wasn’t even—most of the time when I’m working out, I’m either watching music or watching fights on TV. I didn’t even do that. I was just by myself in silence trying to make sense of it. Just doing chin ups and dips and trying to make sense of whatever the f* that was because it just didn’t seem like a dream. It felt so real. It felt so real.

And when I’ve talked to my UFO friends, Jesse Michaels is really into UFOs. He’s like, “I think you had a real encounter.” I’m like, I don’t know. You know, I don’t know what it was, but it certainly felt like a real encounter, whatever it was.

Sleep Habits and Rasputin

BERT KREISCHER: Do you listen to anything while you sleep or you sleep in the side? Oh, I listen to podcasts, so I’ll—

JOE ROGAN: Have dreams while you’re sleeping.

BERT KREISCHER: Always so ridiculous. I listen to—

JOE ROGAN: It’s so unhealthy.

BERT KREISCHER: I listen to a podcast about Rasputin last night. I listen—

JOE ROGAN: You ever see his d? They have his d pickled in a jar.

BERT KREISCHER: Are you serious? Dude? He was the—yeah, you know, he was just fingering chicks.

JOE ROGAN: Are you sure?

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t know.

JOE ROGAN: I think he was fine.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s not.

JOE ROGAN: It’s not in the giant hog like that. I think he’s putting it to use. Find Rasputin’s hog.

BERT KREISCHER: But he was—that’s what he did. I would love to see his d*.

JOE ROGAN: You’ll see it. That’s—God, the size of that hog, by the way. That’s limp and dead. Imagine what that thing looked like when it was hard. Look at that. Look in that guy’s face. Look at the size of this coke. Look at this c. Big old fing pickle.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s a big d*.

JOE ROGAN: I mean, again, this is a dead man’s d. So there’s no blood in it at all. Imagine what that thing was like. Hard. Big old Russian d, big old axe handle.

BERT KREISCHER: Thank God that wasn’t my dream.

JOE ROGAN: So he was, you know, he was—what does it say? Rasputin’s alleged genitals sold in 2000 for $8,000. Still surrounded by mystery, with some experts believing it might actually belong to a bull.

BERT KREISCHER: Shut up. They had a hard time killing him.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. They tried to poison him, right.

BERT KREISCHER: And they’d shoot him at the end and then throw him in the f*ing river.

JOE ROGAN: Well, Russians are different white people.

BERT KREISCHER: Ah, that’s the joke I missed last night. There was in the bottom of the barrel. They were like, Trump versus Putin. And I was thinking about Rasputin, but I was thinking—but I was like, Russians are hard to kill. And then I just went on to—

JOE ROGAN: What was this thing? He was a spiritual advisor.

BERT KREISCHER: Joe, that’s a great topic.

JOE ROGAN: Something.

BERT KREISCHER: I’ll tell you everything, you know.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it was a self-described holy man. He was from 1869 to 1966.

BERT KREISCHER: He was from Siberia.

JOE ROGAN: So he gained significant influence with Czar Nicholas II after 1905, rapidly earning the trust of both Nicholas himself and his wife Alexandra. He became a “healer” for their hemophiliac son Alexei.

BERT KREISCHER: What was happening was Alexei was getting given aspirin by the doctors. And Rasputin came in and was like, “Yo, get the doctors away from him.” And he was a hemophiliac. He had internal bleeding. And when they removed the aspirin, which is a blood thinner, the kid started to heal.

And so the Tsarina said, “He’s magic.” Even at one point, the kid was going to die. And he wrote a letter and he said, “Tell the—your kid’s going to be fine. I had a dream about it, but get the doctors out of there.” And the doctors were always giving him aspirin. And that was what was injuring the kid. All the royalty at that time were hemophiliacs.

JOE ROGAN: What?

The Royal Family and Rasputin

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, because of the inbreeding. That’s why they didn’t have chins. They had long noses. And they were all hemophiliacs.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, God.

BERT KREISCHER: And so. But what’s crazy is the Russian. So she loved Rasputin and would write letters to Rasputin. That kind of sound a little sketchy. But then all of Russia started thinking, this healer has an end to the Tsar and the Tsarina. So all of a sudden, this healer is running the country. What? They didn’t know. They couldn’t tell anyone. No, our kid’s a fing hemophiliac. They couldn’t tell anyone that because then they looked weak and so. So in a weird way, Rasputin got kind of thrown to the wolves because they couldn’t tell him why we. Why they needed him, that she wasn’t fing him, that their marriage was intact.

JOE ROGAN: How do you know she wasn’t fing with that big old giant d that probably was laying pipe?

BERT KREISCHER: He might have been.

JOE ROGAN: He probably.

BERT KREISCHER: She wrote a letter that says, “I kiss your.” Like, she wrote a letter and translation was like, “kiss your cheek gently.”

JOE ROGAN: Oh, yes.

BERT KREISCHER: Some s. Yeah, he fed her there. It was Catherine the Great that f*ed a horse.

JOE ROGAN: I heard about that.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Didn’t she die f*ing a horse?

BERT KREISCHER: I think so. I went to that bar and when I was in Russia, we went to that barn.

JOE ROGAN: If you. You inbreed, you know, multiple generations in a row and then give them ultimate power, they’re going to start f*ing horses. I mean, what. What kind of life is that? Kind of weird world is that you’re born royal.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s insane.

Game of Thrones Rewatch

JOE ROGAN: You know what I’m watching again?

BERT KREISCHER: What?

JOE ROGAN: Game of Thrones started it all from the beginning.

BERT KREISCHER: Are you serious?

JOE ROGAN: F*ing amazing. We’re on season two now.

BERT KREISCHER: You wait, your family.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, okay. Me and my wife. It’s so good, dude.

BERT KREISCHER: We did it with the girls on vacation, bro.

JOE ROGAN: Whoever that dude is that played Joffrey, that should get all the awards. Yeah, he’s so good. His transition from being like a s*ty kid to an evil king is amazing. It’s the way he plays Joffrey is incredible.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: I forgot how good that show is. It’s one of the greatest shows of all time.

BERT KREISCHER: But you’ll never.

JOE ROGAN: So good.

BERT KREISCHER: You’ll never see him as anything other than Joffrey.

JOE ROGAN: It’s problem. Yeah, that’s a problem for a lot of people that have, like, significant. Like Kramer, like, you know, like two things, a couple things. This is the other thing. Do you know he wrote a book and didn’t mention that in the book?

BERT KREISCHER: Really?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s interesting.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Somebody read the book. One of the comics read the book is like. I’m waiting for that to come up because he never f*ing brings it up.

BERT KREISCHER: What’s the. What’s the title? A Tell all book. Except for one thing.

JOE ROGAN: Except for the f*ing biggest thing.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s the biggest thing that ever happened.

The First Viral Cancellation

JOE ROGAN: That. It was the first cancellation. The first public cancellation.

BERT KREISCHER: Was that really the first cancellation? Oh, yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Through viral video. The first public cancellation through viral video. Because I remember that night because I think I was at the improv and then I came over.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, I do remember that night.

JOE ROGAN: And Brett Ernst was at the store. He had just come over from the Laugh Factory. He goes, bro. He goes, I was just a laugh factor. He goes, Kramer was off the rails. He goes, he went nuts. He got heckled. He started yelling the N word at these people in the audience. I go, no. He goes, dude, it crazy. He goes, he was bombing, and they were heckling him. And then he starts dropping N bombs. I’m like, no way. He goes, yeah. I don’t know what the f* he was on, but he did a set at the store. He seemed a little. A little speedy, a little, you know, a little elevated. And then left the store, bombed to the store and went over to the Laugh Factory. And that was that night he did.

BERT KREISCHER: He was at the Improv the weekend before, and I was there, and he was. He was doing stand up, but he was doing a version of Kramer, a version of, like, crazy. And he fell on a glass and broke the glass and cut himself. But everyone laughed. And I think everyone’s like, I think he’s bleeding. But it was, like, really off.

JOE ROGAN: Well, he was doing really off stuff from the jump. Like, he came to the store. I think he just decided to start doing standup because Seinfeld had been canceled for a long time, wanted to start doing something again. And he started doing stand up, but he didn’t have any material. Yeah, he would just kind of fall down. It was weird. He would, like, pretend that something went wrong and, like, try to do the mic stand and slip and fall. It was very odd, which is also my theory that I’ve been telling everybody about Chevy Chase.

The Chevy Chase Theory

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, I love to hear this.

JOE ROGAN: So everybody is talking about what a terrible person Chevy Chase is. And, you know, there’s all these videos that come out of him screaming at people and being mean.

BERT KREISCHER: And, you know, I saw one with Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield and him where it’s like, right when they’re promoting Caddyshack.

JOE ROGAN: Yells at some other guy. Right? Some other guy that’s on the set. And this is my take on it. I want you to pull up the. Like a compilation of Chevy Chase’s Pratt Falls. Okay? Chevy Chase has to be in constant pain. Has to be. He has to be in constant pain. And almost 100% has CTE.

Chevy Chase used to throw himself down flights of stairs. He used to throw himself off the stage into chairs and tables. He used to, like, slip, go flying through the air, land on his head. The most ridiculous pratfalls, the most aggressive violent pratfalls you’ve ever seen. And he did this for years. For years. Like, he was in a car crash multiple times a week for years.

BERT KREISCHER: Wow. Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: I mean, maybe he had a s*ty personality already.

BERT KREISCHER: Well, I think he was. He was also that first generation of what fame is. Like. He was the most famous person to ever come off SNL ever. Like, his walking off SNL was like, get ready for a movie star. And I don’t think. I don’t think we’ll ever. I won’t ever understand the level of fame he had at the time.

JOE ROGAN: Like.

BERT KREISCHER: Like, his fame was like. And this is also. I mean, like, look, I love Burt.

JOE ROGAN: Reynolds, but Steve Martin was super famous, too. And he’s not a.

BERT KREISCHER: No.

JOE ROGAN: You know what I mean? It’s like. I don’t think that’s it. I want to. I want you to see these videos. I don’t know why I can’t find a compilation. I can find a bunch of videos of it. Just. I know there’s a compilation because I’ve seen it. I just typed it in. And the video that pops up only has. It’s a four minute video of him on Johnny Carson. No, I’m just. I know. I’m telling you. There’s a bunch. There’s a bunch.

BERT KREISCHER: Gerald Ford. That was. Gerald Ford fell. Right?

JOE ROGAN: So he would. Yeah, because Gerald. Gerald Ford was kind of like Biden. He would fall the time. So here is. Dude, look at that. You know, hard. He falls there. Go back and watch that again. Watch how hard he falls when he does this. This is him doing this. Christmas. What happened? The Christmas thing that you just showed. I’m telling you, I just accidentally disappeared. You could find it. Okay, watch this, watch this. Watch him fall. Boom. Head first with the tree. Falls down, barely stops his fall.

Chevy Chase. Worst wrestling moments for Saturday Night Live. Like, this is just. This is him just stumbling around. This is nothing. But there’s videos of him. Okay, obviously that chair is going to break. No, this is not what I’m looking for. See if he can find it. Find it and get back to us. But there’s. I know. There’s videos of him, like, literally, like flying off stage, landing on his back, dude, slipping, legs up in the air.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, I had to fall off a ladder for a TV show one time. They’re like, we need you to fall. And they had a crash pad. You get four steps up a ladder, you’re high as f*.

CTE and Brain Trauma

JOE ROGAN: Well, even if you have a crash pad, your head is wobbling around, right? So your brain is sloshing around from the impact. This is one of the things that people don’t realize. Like football players get brain damage from getting hit in the chest. So CTE you can get from riding a jet ski, from bouncing on the waves. It’s your brain walking, fing bouncing around off the walls of your skull from roller coasters. You can get it from everything. You can get it from a lot of things. Repeated sub concussive trauma. But he fell and landed on his fing head.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And if you find the video, that’s a compilation. There’s a compilation that people make. The worst falls of Chevy Chase. And it’s crazy. And he did this for years. That was his thing. Slip and fall, slip and fall. Slip and fall.

BERT KREISCHER: And tons of coke.

JOE ROGAN: All those things. So slip and fall. Allegedly. Tons of coke.

BERT KREISCHER: Allegedly.

JOE ROGAN: Allegedly. I mean, I don’t know.

BERT KREISCHER: I mean, I read some books.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, but the book on. Do you know what happened when Bill Murray was here, when he was Wired?

BERT KREISCHER: Are you talking about Bill? I love that book.

Bob Woodward and Watergate

JOE ROGAN: So when he read Wired, he read. So the guy who wrote Wired was Bob Woodward. Bob Woodward was the guy that was involved in Watergate. He was the naval intelligence officer who became a journalist. And his first ever assignment was to take down the President, which is very suspicious. Like Tucker Carlson told me the whole story behind it. I was like, what? The people that were that broke in were all FBI. The whole thing was a setup. It was to set Nixon up. And they had already gotten rid of Spiro Agnew, who was his VP. They got him on, I think corruption charges. I forget what it was.

BERT KREISCHER: Didn’t Kennedy put the, the bug system in there? Wasn’t that. It was the President before that put the, put the wire, the wiring in the, inside the room. Right. What room in Watergate? Didn’t, was, didn’t.

JOE ROGAN: No, no, no, no, no, no, Listen, it was a setup. Nixon was not involved in the setup. But they told him about what happened and then he was involved in the cover up. That’s how they got.

BERT KREISCHER: Okay, okay.

JOE ROGAN: That’s how they got him. And that’s how he removed from office.

BERT KREISCHER: And the recordings were from his office. Right?

The Watergate Setup and Nixon’s Removal

JOE ROGAN: The recordings were from the Democratic Party. So he was recording the Democratic Party. He was secretly recording the opposition party. But he didn’t do it. So the FBI did it. And then they brought it to him, knowing that he would cover it up and that’s where he committed the crime.

Like instead of coming out and saying, “Hey, some people have recorded these people,” even if he did that they would have said he was involved, but the whole thing was to get him out of office. The reason why they wanted to get him out of office is because he was publicly and privately stating, at least amongst other people that were in the White House, and that he knew who killed JFK and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

Because look, JFK had just been killed. He ran against JFK in 1960, 60 or 62. What year was it? Either way, I think it was 60. He ran against JFK and then JFK gets assassinated and now he’s the President. And when he’s the President, he was publicly stating or privately stating to different people like he was going to get to the bottom of it. And he knew who killed JFK. He was like investigating it. He was interested in it, obviously, because he was worried they were going to kill him.

And so then they set him up and they removed him from office and they put Gerald Ford in as his VP. Gerald Ford was also on the Warren Commission. Like the whole thing was a giant setup to get rid of the most popular president in the history of the country. You know, and everybody’s like, “Oh, Nixon’s a crook, Nixon’s a crook, I’m not a crook.” That was all like his gigantic propaganda PR campaign to remove Nixon from office. It was all a deep state operation.

BERT KREISCHER: Wow.

JOE ROGAN: Nixon won the presidency like the widest margin of anybody in history. He was the most popular president in history. And in today’s days we think of Nixon as being a crook and a scumbag, but he didn’t even do it. He was just involved in the cover up. When they brought it to him was like, what is he going to do? He’s running for president again to reelection. And they’re saying, you know, “Hey, these guys, they busted these guys recording things like cover it up, cover it up, cover it up.” And so that’s how they got him.

BERT KREISCHER: And what was his post presidency like?

Bill Murray and the Truth About John Belushi

JOE ROGAN: So what do you mean? Let me finish. Oh, sorry. So before I go any further, so Bill Murray is here and he said he read the first couple pages of Wired and he goes, he put it down, he goes, “Oh my God, they framed Nixon.” That was the first thing that he said. He said, because the version that Bob Woodward told of John Belushi, his very good friend, was so wildly off. He goes, that time where John did that speedball and died was probably the only time where he ever did that. He goes, he was a total lightweight. He would have a couple of drinks and he would be drunk. He wasn’t a guy who did drugs all the time. He goes, it was all bullsh*t.

BERT KREISCHER: Are you serious?

JOE ROGAN: Yes, yes.

BERT KREISCHER: Do you realize, like, guys like Chris Farley literally idolized John Belushi because of books like Wired?

JOE ROGAN: Exactly, exactly. And, well, the difference is Chris Farley really was doing drugs.

BERT KREISCHER: Myself, I idolized John Belushi. I read Wired when I was in college and was like, dude, this is… I mean, there’s so many aspects of my personality that I draw from a book like that of, like, the way he was comfortable in an agent’s office and pounding 12 shots I get because of John Belushi.

JOE ROGAN: Well, I’m sure he did all those things, and I’m sure he partied. But, like, the version, this exaggerated version of just being completely out of control on drugs was fake. And this is according to Bill Murray, who is best friends with him. He’s like, it’s not true. It’s like if somebody tried to write something about you. And I read it and I was like, this is not Bert at all. So his initial thought was, “Oh, my God, they framed Nixon.”

BERT KREISCHER: Jesus Christ.

Bob Woodward: Intelligence Agent or Reporter?

JOE ROGAN: And they did. They did frame Nixon. See if you can find the video of Tucker Carlson explaining to me how they framed Nixon.

BERT KREISCHER: I have a copy of Wired in my tour bus.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, don’t read it.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m going to get rid of it.

JOE ROGAN: Bob Woodward’s intelligence agent. 100%. He was naval Intelligence. And then he left from that, which he never really leaves. And then he became a reporter for the Washington Post. And his first job was Watergate, which is nonsense.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s f*ing insane.

JOE ROGAN: There’s no way you would… A senior reporter would be covering the most important story. You wouldn’t give it to a rookie whose first assignment.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s… And what about… What’s… Bernstein? What about him? I don’t know, because didn’t they write it together?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they did. I mean, I don’t know.

BERT KREISCHER: And then Deep Throat was there. Did we ever find out who Deep Throat was?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Listen to this, though. This is seven minutes long. And watch the thing. Let’s listen to some of it because it’s interesting.

Tucker Carlson on Media as Tools of Power

TUCKER CARLSON: That’s what it is. It’s their tool. And they’re perfectly aware of that. I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer. I mean, I’ve been around the New York Times a lot, and there are… Yeah, there are a lot of really smart people there. For sure. Even now I would less so now, but there’s still, I think, smart people there. There are. I know some and they know, but they think that, that, you know, it’s worth it because they’re bringing information or… I don’t know what they think, actually.

But no, they’re tools of power. And that’s like the one thing that you’re not allowed to be, even if you think the power is good. Like, maybe they all support the agenda of the US Government, destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population. Maybe they’re on board with that. Even if they are, they shouldn’t do it. Because the job of the media, the press, is to keep power in check. You are kind of like the seat belt, right? You know, you make sure that things don’t go too far. So… And they’re not doing that. They’re acting as a willing handmaiden.

JOE ROGAN: When do you think that switched?

TUCKER CARLSON: I think it’s been the case for a long time. I mean, if you look at what happened to Richard Nixon, which I of course, did not understand at all. Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA and with the help of Bob Woodward, who was a Washington Post reporter, who had been a Naval Intelligence officer working in the White House, working in the Nixon White House.

And then he shows up like a year later and he’s this brand new reporter. He’d never been a journalist at all. He’s a naval intel officer, the famous Bob Woodward we all revere. And he’s at the Washington Post and somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of the Washington Post. He’s the lead guy in that story.

Well, I worked at a newspaper. I’ve been in the news business my whole life. That is not how it works. You don’t take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on the biggest story. But he was, he was that guy. And who is his main source for Watergate? Oh, the number two guy at the FBI.

Oh, so you have the naval intelligence officer working with the FBI official to destroy the President. Okay, so that’s a deep state coup. What else? How would you describe that? If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say? And yet the way it was framed and the way that I accepted for decades was, “Oh, this intrepid reporter fought power.” No, no, no. This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind.

To bounce the single most popular president in American history, Richard Nixon, from office before the end of his term and replace him with who? Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren Commission. Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon’s vice president? Well, because Carl Albert, the Democrat speaker of the House, told him, “You must choose him. We will only confirm him,” when they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasion. Spiro Agnew of Maryland.

So you have a complete setup, like an absolute… Gerald Ford, the only unelected president in American history, actually sat on the Warren Commission. Something else that I accepted at face value until I looked at it. I was like, that’s completely insane. You didn’t want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation the assassination. Okay, you’re fake. Yeah, he was on the Warren Commission.

And so sorry for the long story, but the point is like that, that happened in front of all of us. But the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it. The people who broke into the Watergate office building, from which the name is taken, Watergate. I think it was six of them or seven of them. All but one was a CIA employee. That’s real. It’s like look it up on Google.

So the whole thing… Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in American history. In the 1972 election, he was the most popular by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity. The most popular president; in his reelection campaign and two years later he’s gone. Undone by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI and a bunch of CIA employees. You tell me what that is. Those are the facts. Those are not disputed facts. That’s not crackpot sh*t. That’s just look it up.

JOE ROGAN: So why did they want to get rid of Nixon?

Nixon’s Knowledge of JFK’s Assassination

TUCKER CARLSON: You know, there are a lot of theories on that. I mean, we don’t, first of all, we don’t need to know motive to know what happened. They, meaning unelected federal employees, got rid of Richard Nixon, which is the most anti-democratic way to make a leadership change that there is. Okay.

I should just say at the outset, I actually kind of believe in democracy. Obviously it’s not working well, obviously it’s ending globally. There will never be another liberal democracy, unfortunately. But I’m attached to it because I was born here. I really believe in it. And it’s better than any other system. So that’s why I’m pissed.

What was their motive? There are a lot of theories on this. There’s an amazing conversation, it’s on tape between Richard Nixon, when he was still president, I think was in 1973, and I think it was Richard Helms, the head of the CIA, though I may have f*ed that up. But it was the head of the CIA, and I think it was Helms. And Nixon says, “I know why they killed Jack Kennedy.”

So Nixon was a student of history, of, obviously a flawed and complicated person, but a very, very smart person. And he was really interested in why this guy who’d been president, just one president before him, was murdered. And he didn’t think it was a lone gunman who was mysteriously assassinated two days later by another lone gunman. Like, it’s so obviously bullsh*t. And he knew that.

And he said to the CIA director who… And you can listen to the tape. It’s on the Internet is totally silent on this question. So I think there was the impression. I don’t think, I know. That Nixon understood that the bureaucracy was really in control of the country. It wasn’t elected officials. And that’s a massive threat because it’s true.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s good, dude. Yeah. That’s all media. Yeah, all media takes their slant and their angle and decides they’re going to dictate it their way, as opposed to… I don’t even know. I don’t even know of a journalist that… I mean, no one. There’s no one that sits objectively and watches anything anymore.

JOE ROGAN: No, not in mainstream media.

BERT KREISCHER: No, absolutely.

MSNBC’s Photo Manipulation

JOE ROGAN: You saw what they did with the photo of that kid who got shot, that pretty guy who got shot in Minneapolis. MSNBC doctored his photo and made him better looking. Fixed his teeth, squared his jaw, gave him a tan. You haven’t seen it?

BERT KREISCHER: No. Please pull that up.

JOE ROGAN: We showed it yesterday, but we’ll show it again today, the before and after. It’s in the text that I sent you. It’s fing crazy. Look at the difference. What? Yeah, it’s him. On the left, he looks like Ari’s brother. On the right, he looks like some fing handsome crossfitter. Like, look at the difference. Look at the teeth. Look at the nose. They shrunk his nose. They widened his jaw. They shrunk his chin. That’s crazy. They decided he was too ugly to be sympathetic towards.

BERT KREISCHER: So… So then… So then… Man, this kind of bums me out that you… I mean, I always kind of had hopes up that if I turned on… If I turned on the news, I’d hear some objective rant or some objectiveness of anything, but there’s none.

Independent Media and Watergate’s Deep Throat

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, you got to go independent. You got to go to Glenn Greenwald, Michael Shellenberger and people like that. Matt Taibbi. You got to go to independent journalists. They’re the only ones that are going to give you the real deal.

People that are connected to giant corporations that their jobs distribute the news, they’re not going to give you. They’re going to give you a narrative that’s approved. Who was Deep Throat? Because Deep Throat was exposed. They did eventually expose Deep Throat and it’s even more shocking when you find out who Deep Throat was.

BERT KREISCHER: I saw the movie.

JOE ROGAN: That’s a different movie. That’s a good one. Well, the name was in nod to the movie.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, for real?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie came out first. Deep Throat was W. Mark Felt, the number two official at the FBI during Watergate, who secretly provided key information to Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward. So the FBI was involved in the break in. The number two official at the FBI was the guy who was providing information under the name Deep Throat.

So the FBI did it. They did the whole thing. Is that your phone?

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah. I’m an old man, Joe. It’s the FBI. He said FBI 200 times.

JOE ROGAN: Who’s calling you when it’s on? Do not disturb. It might be the FBI.

BERT KREISCHER: Spam risk. Should I answer?

JOE ROGAN: No. Why is it? I don’t understand you put it on to that?

BERT KREISCHER: I have no idea, Joe. I’m old.

JOE ROGAN: They’re hacking it.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m f*ing. I got to. I need to. They probably do.

JOE ROGAN: That’s a weird ring, though.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s an old man choice because my wife doesn’t answer a fing phone. So I turned her ring to that. So she changed my ring to that. We’re two old fing people. So then what’s the fix? How do I trust anyone?

Trusting Independent News Sources

JOE ROGAN: You have to trust independent news, independent media that’s not connected to any corporation. Because as soon as you’re connected to a corporation, you’re connected to advertisers. As soon as you’re connected to advertisers, a giant percentage of advertisers on television is pharmaceutical drug companies, major corporations.

So you have things that you’re not allowed to touch. That’s why you never hear anything in all the news about vaccine injuries. You never, never hear about all these people that are having strokes, all these people that. The rise in heart attacks, the rise in myocarditis, particularly amongst young people. Blood clots.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s what we were talking about. I got vaxxed four times. Boosters from Johnson & Johnson. And that’s the first thing they say when they started looking at blood clots. They’re like, did you get vaccinated? And I was like, yeah, four times. Even doctors like, you didn’t need to do it four times.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, well, I don’t know why you did that?

BERT KREISCHER: Because you had to get into a goddamn concert. You had to show.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, but you didn’t have to have four of them to get in a concert.

Bert’s Vaccination Story

BERT KREISCHER: I had a TV. First one was real early. I got it when you were getting canceled for getting it. They’re like just Mexican people. And I just went in with a mask on, hola, you got a f*ing shot in East LA? Because I had to go shoot a movie.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, wow.

BERT KREISCHER: They’re like, do not show your f*ing face. And I was like, I won’t, I won’t.

JOE ROGAN: Why not show your face?

BERT KREISCHER: Because it was back when it was just need, not needy workers. What is it called? The. Remember the first round of workers? It was people you need in the country, you know?

JOE ROGAN: Right.

BERT KREISCHER: And so essential. Essential workers.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: And then I was shooting a movie, so they got me a pass to get it.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, so you got it when you weren’t supposed to get it?

BERT KREISCHER: When? Yeah, way early. Way early.

JOE ROGAN: Interesting.

BERT KREISCHER: And then I got it. I had to get it again in Serbia for a movie.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, and that’s when they made you get it again.

BERT KREISCHER: Again?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: And then I got it when I came home, and then I got it one more time.

JOE ROGAN: Mo Amer told me how to do it. He had to get boosted before they let him do his Netflix series.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Why? Meanwhile, he’d had Covid. He’d recovered. He had Covid when we were all doing those concerts, when me and Chappelle and him and a bunch of other guys were doing those pandemic concerts, he got Covid. So there was no reason for him to get boosted.

BERT KREISCHER: I got boosted four times. I got Covid 11 times.

JOE ROGAN: God.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s so crazy. It’s crazy. I had Covid when I was shooting Free Bert.

JOE ROGAN: Jeez.

BERT KREISCHER: I gave it to a bunch of people. They were like, you got a cough? And I was like, ah, it’s fine. Do you want to get tested? I was like, no, I’m not getting tested. It’s like my wife asked me, wearing a condom. I was like, we’re good guys. And then I gave it to one of the dudes, I think, and the dude was wearing a mask. He was the only one that got it. Shout out to my buddy.

JOE ROGAN: Well, he probably had gotten boosted a bunch of times.

Comparing UFC Fighters Across Eras

BERT KREISCHER: I should tell everyone to watch Free Bert on Netflix. I should say that, but keep going. Can I tell you something? I’m obsessed with. And I’ve been dying to talk to you about. So I watched the. I’ve been watching a lot of UFC lately, and I want your perspective because I’m thinking of this globally.

Jordan, they compare Jordan and LeBron James. Right?

JOE ROGAN: Right.

BERT KREISCHER: And they compare Tom Brady to Joe Montana. And the big argument they always say is, well, you know, Tom Brady couldn’t play in the league Joe Montana played in because the rules were different. They got fed up left and right. Right. And there were concussions and there was no roughing the passer. You could hit the quarterback late, all that s.

JOE ROGAN: Right.

BERT KREISCHER: Well, what about UFC? Because how would say, and I don’t mean slanderous, I’m just curious, someone like Tank Abbott or Dan Severn or Royce Gracie, how would they fare against, say, the fighters that are fighting today?

JOE ROGAN: Well, it really all depends on whether or not. I think Tank Abbott would do really well. I think Tank Abbott would do really well because the heavyweight division is the most shallow division. Would he do really well against the guys like Ciryl Gane or Tom Aspinall? Probably not, but he didn’t do really well against guys like Maurice Smith, you know, the real elite strikers of the day.

But Tank Abbott was a f*ing huge man. I mean, he was an enormous, powerful guy who had ridiculous knockout power, and he would brawl. And anybody who brought, look at Derrick Lewis. Derrick Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the UFC, and he’s not the most highly skilled guy in the sport. He’s just a really big, powerful guy who has unbelievable knockout power.

And he’s still relatively successful even today. I mean, he has the most knockouts in the history of the heavyweight division. But Tank Abbott would still f* a lot of people up in the lower ranks of the heavyweight division. Dan Severn would still take a lot of people down and beat their asses because he was an elite wrestler.

Those kind of skills, Mark Coleman would take a lot of people down and beat their asses. Those skills that they have, the elite wrestlers and the really powerful punchers, they would always do well. Royce Gracie, if, first of all, if he was fighting in the UFC, he would be fighting without a gi, so that would be different. Right.

So he relied on the gi a lot because he would get ahold of guys and they would grab the gi instinctively, and he was great. That’s what he wanted. And then once it went to the ground, I mean, it was like a man and a child. His Jiu Jitsu was so good, and for the time, no one even knew Jiu Jitsu.

So he was a black belt against white belts, and he was just tapping out everybody. Nobody had a chance. In this day and age, that’s just not the case anymore. Royce Gracie, still, if he was competing today, if he was a young man competing today, he would still give hell to a lot of people in an appropriate weight class if it went to the ground.

Because his Jiu Jitsu is so good. His striking was always a means to an end. His striking, he would go at a distance, he would kick at your legs, but his whole thing was about closing distance, getting you to the ground, getting on you, an armbar, tapping you out, a triangle, Jiu Jitsu.

So he was a pure Jiu Jitsu fighter. And if it went to the ground today, he would still give real problems to a lot of fighters because he was that good. He was that good on the ground. And today, with the difference in training partners, he’d be even better.

Athletes and Identity After Retirement

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, I’m reading this book by Wright Thompson. You know that dude, he wrote Pappyland. No, but he’s talking about Jordan in this book and how at 50, Jordan had a hard time going to the next phase of his life. He still was, what if I put them on? What if I put. I want to go.

JOE ROGAN: You know, he’s a champion. And it happens with fighters, too.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, yeah. I mean, you go back to Shannon Sharpe, he’s doing better now financially than he ever did. But I bet he’d trade it all.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s the glory of sport. It’s there’s nothing else. Those highs. Those highs. Especially for a fighter when you’re still. Justin Gaethje this weekend, who beat Patty Pimblett.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, my God.

JOE ROGAN: Crazy fight, that guy. When it was over, the happiness that he had, the smile on his face, he was so. I mean, he was just in a high like nothing else in life. It’s hard for those guys to put that away. It’s hard for those guys to let that go.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And their identity is completely wrapped around the fact that they’re an elite fighter.

BERT KREISCHER: How did you not. How did you not have your identity about your career? Because I know you pretty well, and you never really. It’s tough to disconnect your identity to your career or your dreams or your hopes, which I think fighters, it’s easy to understand. Athletes, it’s easy to understand.

But I think it happens with comedians and actors and even podcasters to say, how did you not do that?

Joe’s Philosophy on Identity and Work

JOE ROGAN: Well, I don’t know. I recognize the pitfalls in it. But I also recognize that at the end of the day, you’re just a human being. And I think I’ve said this a million times, and I’m sorry I have to repeat it, but I think brutal workouts are what center me. It’s the one thing that centers me more than anything in life, because I do to myself.

I humble myself all the time. I break myself. I break myself down all the time so that when life comes, or all that other stuff seems like something I do. It’s fun. It’s great. But I’m just me. I’m just a human being. I’m me in the 10th round when I want to quit and the bell goes off and I know I have to hit the bag for three more minutes, you know.

I know who I am. I don’t need my career to tell me who I am. And I have enough “f* you” money that I could just sail off into the sunset. Bye. Bye.

BERT KREISCHER: Do you think you will?

JOE ROGAN: No. No. I this. Yeah, it’s fun. I thought about it. I’ve thought about a bunch of things, doing different things. If I had multiple lives, I would live a bunch of different lives.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, tell me about one.

Professional Pool Dreams and Obsessive Focus

JOE ROGAN: I’d be a professional pool player. That’s what I would like to do. Yeah, I like to go on a tour, play professional pool. If I just had, like, a year to really practice, I think I could do it. It’s just there’s no way. There’s no money. There’s no time. There’s no… So I just have to, like, keep that one in my head as a hobby and make sure I don’t get too addicted to it, you know?

My problem is I get addicted to things and then I just, like, obsess on them. And then the weird part of my brain that focuses obsessively on things, it would just overcome all the rest of my life, and it would just be this one thing that I think of.

I allow that in bursts. Like, I allow that. Like when I was getting ready for my comedy special, my live special, that was my whole life. I didn’t think about anything else other than doing that set. Like, when I go hunting, I don’t think about anything else other than getting in shape, shooting perfect arrows, getting ready to hunt. I allow myself these brief moments of obsession. But I have to be careful. I have to be careful with my brain.

BERT KREISCHER: Your brain’s fascinating. I wish I listened to you more. Like, when we were younger, you said stuff that I just was like, that’s not right.

JOE ROGAN: Like, what? It might not be right for you.

BERT KREISCHER: No, no, no. I wish I had you. I remember. I remember one time, you’re like, you’re working too hard. You should be… Your focus should be less famous. And I was like, what are you talking about? And now I’m there. I’m like, oh, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

The Spotify Deal and Fame

JOE ROGAN: That’s why I took the Spotify deal. I was hoping I would be, like, 10% less famous. That was my idea. I was like, good. Less people watch Spotify, less people listen. How many people going to go over there? Like, Jamie coming up, kind of freaked out in the beginning because we lost half of our audience, like, right away. It’s like, we lost half the crowd. Like, so what? Who cares? Good. I’ll be less famous.

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t want to be… I wanted to be famous so bad.

JOE ROGAN: Well, it’s because you weren’t.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, right.

JOE ROGAN: And so I already was. So I kind of had a perspective. Like, this isn’t what everybody thinks it is. It’s just weird, you know? Like, the glory of it. It’s all fake. Like, the people that love you, they don’t even know you. Like, it’s kind of crazy. Like, the people that love you should be the people that know you. You know? That’s a good thing.

If the people that know you hate you, but the rest of the world loves you, then you’re in an Ellen position. Right. You’re in this weird position where you’re a fake person.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Where everybody thinks you’re one thing, but you’re actually another thing. So the people around you don’t like you. And then when the water breaks and everybody starts talking, all the staff start talking sh*t about you, and you realize, like, oh, she was a monster. You know?

So I think I had the benefit of having some fame to realize, like, oh, this is not… Also, I think about things a lot. I don’t just accept things for what they are. Something’s happening. I’m like, okay, but what is this really? Yeah, what is this really?

You did listen a little, because I remember the one time I called you when you were on a motorcycle in Vietnam, and I was like, bro, you got to quit that job. And you’re like, what? And I was like, you got… You’re a funny comic, man. You’re a funny dude. You’re great on podcast. You don’t need to do this. Like, the world’s changed. This is holding you back.

Health Journey and Sobriety

BERT KREISCHER: Thank God. Thank God. You know, it’s like I always say, like, thank God I had the right people in my life at the right times, because there’s so much about, like… Like, I’ll tell you, like, you know, with the blood clot thing, they said, you know, I never… Every time I got sober, was always to, like, just prove I could get sober for a month, you know? Right. And just be like, I’ll take a break, get healthy, get… Go blood work. I’m back at it.

This is the first time I’ve ever looked at it. Like, I never looked at how often I was disrespectful to my health. Like, how often I was like, get in the airport and be like, drinking at 6 in the morning. Like, f* it, you know? And then I go, and now that I’m flying, I’m forced to fly sober. I get in the airport and I go off. Egg whites, egg whites.

JOE ROGAN: You need the yolk.

BERT KREISCHER: No, you can’t have too much iron when you’re on blood thinners. This whole f*ing thing’s a nightmare. But they said sober for six months, and then I… And then I had a really interesting conversation with my trainer and with Leanne.

Over this conversation, they were like, you know, what’s so funny is they don’t see my lifestyle is partying and everything is disrespectful to my health because I work out, because I get blood work, because I’m sober for every now. And they were saying it’s disrespectful to people that don’t… That just sit online and scroll and don’t live their life. That’s what’s disrespectful.

JOE ROGAN: How so?

BERT KREISCHER: Like, if you were just like, you come home and you lock into video games and you don’t go out and you don’t really connect with people, and then you wake up and you scroll for three hours, and then you light a cigarette and you go to work and you come home and you play video games. You’re not living your life.

And they’re like, Leanne was saying the other day, she’s like, you know, don’t look like, get excited to start drinking again, but make sure that you can measure that.

JOE ROGAN: You know, get excited, just start drinking again. Is a wild thing to say.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, I mean, I’m looking at…

JOE ROGAN: But how is it disrespectful to people that are watching you?

BERT KREISCHER: No, no, no, no, no. I meant, you know, people that aren’t living. Like, people that are leaving comments and, like, sh*tting on girls, skateboarding, going, you should wear a bra, whore. Like, guys that aren’t living their life and not spending time with family and living their life.

JOE ROGAN: So what’s disrespectful to them? You said it’s disrespectful.

BERT KREISCHER: No, no. They’re… They’re disrespecting their own life by not living.

JOE ROGAN: Okay.

BERT KREISCHER: By not getting in the gym, not going out, not going and having dinner with your wife.

JOE ROGAN: How is your life, you disrespecting your health, doing anything to them?

BERT KREISCHER: No, no. I think I was just two parallels. Like, I was looking at health, thinking in hindsight, like, how many times I just, you know, burn the candle at both ends. Didn’t think, like, how… How fragile life actually is.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah, well, you’re very durable. Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem, is you were able to do that and show no bad health markers. Like, you were drinking all the time. You got your blood work done, your liver’s fine. You’re like, look at this. That’s great. Like, you were… I remember you were super nervous, like, when you first started getting blood work, but then you’re like, it turns out it’s fine. Yeah, yeah, you… You have great genetics, you know?

BERT KREISCHER: But you think… I think now I go, man, I’m like, my grandfather died at 53, and I’m 53. And then you start seeing people die, and you’re like, sht, man. Yeah, like, this blood clot scared the f out of me. Because people die from this. They die from it. It’s not… Yeah, it’s no joke. And then you’re like, well, f*, that was just me flying.

Blood Clots and D-Dimer Tests

JOE ROGAN: Did they make you do a D-dimer test?

BERT KREISCHER: No, I don’t know what that is.

JOE ROGAN: So D-dimer test is when they test your body for clots, for micro clots. So apparently, a lot of people that have got a ton of boosters, got… They… They have microclots. And this is one of the things. There was a Canadian doctor, that one was one of the first guys to get canceled for saying that the vaccine was causing clots, because he was one of the first guys that was doing a D-dimer test on all of his patients, and he found out that his vaccinated patients, the vast majority of them, were having these micro clots all throughout their system.

And it was being caused, in his opinion, by the vaccine. And, boy, eventually his business wound up getting burned to the ground. He lost his medical license. He lost his practice. It was a crazy story. And he was right. He was right. And now it’s pretty mainstream. Like, that discussion of it.

And, you know, even doctors who used to prescribe boosters don’t prescribe them anymore, which is kind of crazy. At what point in time, like, the people that are that used to say, you need to get your booster, well, how come you’re not getting boosters anymore? COVID’s still around. Those people aren’t getting boosters. No one’s getting boosters anymore. None of those people are.

BERT KREISCHER: Are they saying that we have a higher antibody rate now? Like, why is COVID not as dangerous today as it was then?

Virus Evolution and Variants

JOE ROGAN: Well, the thing that happens with viruses is they become less potent but more transmissible. And that becoming more transmissible allows the virus to spread. And being less potent means it doesn’t kill the host. So it’s actually better for the virus to be more transmissible but less potent. And that generally happens in time when people develop antibodies and people develop, you know, like, a resistance to it. So what happens is the virus just becomes easier to transmit but less potent.

BERT KREISCHER: Wow.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. That’s why the variants over time got less and less. Like, the delta variant was actually pretty strong, but after that, they started dropping off and then Omicron, which is pretty nothing. And then they stopped naming them because it really wasn’t just a couple variants. There’s hundreds of them. They don’t even know how many.

And a lot of it is because they vaccinated during a pandemic. And one of the things that virologists throughout history were always saying is you never vaccinate during a pandemic, because when you vaccinate during a pandemic, you actually encourage variants because the vaccine realizes… Especially when you have a leaky vaccine like COVID.

So what? A leaky vaccine is a vaccine that doesn’t stop transmission and doesn’t stop infection. What it does is it gives you some protection through antibodies, but that allows you to get the cold. And then the cold realizes, oh, this guy’s got these antibodies. We’ll just work around that.

And then people who had antibodies to the original wild virus, once they got vaccinated, this variant would see that they were… Or wouldn’t see, but it would have a different pathway because their original immunity was to the wild virus. The original antibodies were to the first virus. That doesn’t even exist anymore. So your body didn’t recognize these new variants. So people get COVID even more easily.

I know I butchered that of your voice. Virologist. But there’s a guy named Geert Vanden Bossche, and he is a vaccine specialist. He’s a virologist, and one of his… He specializes in vaccines, and he was one of the early people saying, this is madness. This goes against conventional thinking. You do not vaccinate during a pandemic.

Swine Flu Experience

BERT KREISCHER: Jesus. I’ll tell you what. I’ve had COVID a bunch. Nothing was like the swine flu.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, you told me that, remember, in 2009. Right. Dude, you got it bad.

BERT KREISCHER: I had… I thought I was going to die. I mean, I’ve never been that sick in my life. Shallow breathing. I mean, it was… I… And I was in… I had to fly to Mexico because I was doing a gig, and I… And I was like… I got on the plane. I always drank on planes, had two drinks, and I was like… I was like, I’m at death’s door, and I f*ing… To this day, I’ve never been that sick in my life. And I don’t know how it didn’t kill me.

JOE ROGAN: You never drink when you’re sick?

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, no sh*t.

JOE ROGAN: It is the worst. It’s so for your immune system to drink when you’re sick, because you just give your immune system this new thing to fight while it’s already involved in a fight.

BERT KREISCHER: I got on the plane with Leanne. We were flying to Mexico, and I was like, I’m not that bad. I remember being cold. I remember it hit me like a ton of bricks that night. I was like, I’m getting f*ing sick. Immediately, it was like, bam.

JOE ROGAN: Back then, you weren’t even taking vitamins.

BERT KREISCHER: No, I wasn’t doing anything.

The COVID Experience and Treatment Approaches

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, that’s the problem. And this is the other thing. The big problem that I had during the COVID thing is, like, I knew people were getting over COVID. It wasn’t killing everybody. And they were making it out like everybody was going to get it. It was going to die. Everybody unvaccinated was going to die.

But I knew people that got it and weren’t the healthiest people, and they were fine. So I’m like, well, what the hell’s going on? Like, what is it? And how come nobody’s talking about vitamins? Nobody’s talking about the impact that vitamins have on your immune system, which is well documented. And then if you brought it up, you’re a conspiracy theorist, you’re a crazy person.

BERT KREISCHER: But everyone listen because you brought up, I’ll never forget, the day you brought up vitamin D. And I went to Rite Aid that day to get vitamin D, and it was gone. I mean, it was like it had been looted. There was no vitamin D to be found. And it was like, I think it was like D3 or something.

JOE ROGAN: D3 and K2. I want the two of them together with magnesium is the move. D3, K2 and magnesium altogether.

BERT KREISCHER: Do you know what’s so funny? I have rosacea on my cheeks, I guess. Got it. You get it when you’re older sometimes. And the cure is Ivermectin. That’s hilarious. They were like, you should get on Ivermectin. I was like, I said, you mean horse tranquilizer?

JOE ROGAN: Horse paste.

BERT KREISCHER: Horse paste, yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Horse dewormer, like what CNN called it.

BERT KREISCHER: But it’s so great. It was the first thing. They’re like, have you ever heard of Ivermectin? And I was like, I’m friends with Joe Rogan. Are you kidding me? Don’t put me on CNN. They’ll make me purple.

Monoclonal Antibodies and Helping Others

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, well, the crazy thing about that CNN thing is I mentioned a bunch of other things that I took. All of them were very effective. It wasn’t one thing that I mentioned. I mentioned IV vitamins, and I took IV NAD, IV vitamins. And then the big one was monoclonal antibodies.

And monoclonal antibodies, they made it really hard for people to get after that because people were just saying, oh, I just need to get monoclonal antibodies, and I’m better, bro. I shipped monoclonal. We were using a telemedicine nurse, and there was a part of a nationwide service that you could send people a nurse, and they would go deliver monoclonal antibodies and IV vitamins.

And the monoclonal, the IV vitamins thing, it always existed, but the monoclonal antibodies, they added to it. Once COVID came, and I can’t tell you how many people that I sent nurses to, people that I didn’t even know, people that were friends of friends, my mom’s friend. And I’d say, give me the address. Tell me who they are, and I’ll send it to them. And I paid for all of it.

And I did it to, like, at least a hundred people. No bullsh*t. At least a hundred people. Yeah, actors who are, like, super liberal. I didn’t out any of them. They would send me a DM. Hey, man, I got COVID. What should I do? And I said, where are you? Tell me where you live. I’m going to have someone sent to you. And I just send someone to them, and then they’d come back and thank me.

Very few of them ever thanked me publicly, but a lot of them got the service. And a lot of people that weren’t famous people just like my friend’s mom or my mom or my uncle or my cousin, someone got COVID. They’re doing really bad. I’m like, tell me where they are. And I did it. I’m not lying. I did it to, like, a hundred people. I spent a lot of money doing it.

BERT KREISCHER: How much does, how much would something like that cost?

JOE ROGAN: Thousands of dollars.

BERT KREISCHER: For real?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it for people I didn’t know. I did it for people I had never met. I did it for people that were famous that I never met. I just, I just said it was easier to me for just to send them to them.

Personal COVID Stories

BERT KREISCHER: Leanne was the first person to get COVID in our house. And I had a joke. I used to have a joke about it. She had COVID, and she gave me a hand job, and I didn’t get it. I was like, that’s how intimate our hand jobs are.

JOE ROGAN: That’s hilarious.

BERT KREISCHER: And she got it. And I remember doing, I remember I called you, and you were like, get her the NAD that you gave me, the whole f*ing list. And she got over it right away. We ended up right away, and we’re like, cool, we can go skiing.

JOE ROGAN: No, no, no, no.

BERT KREISCHER: And then we all got it.

JOE ROGAN: You’re not ready yet.

BERT KREISCHER: Georgia gave it to me. She goes, I remember we were at the, Georgia gave it to me. And I remember we were sitting at the dinner table that night at our ski place, and she was like, started crying. I go, baby, don’t cry. It’s fine. Listen, it’s totally fine. She was like, you’re high risk.

JOE ROGAN: You got to think of it as like, it’s over. The bad part’s over. But now in recovery, so you can’t go skiing or do anything crazy.

BERT KREISCHER: I went skiing. I remember skiing the first day with COVID thinking, you know, it’s just me. The mountain was empty. I was like, it’s just me. I don’t really have it. I’m fine. I tested negative. I remember I tested negative, and I was like, I’m just hungover from last night.

And when I got down, I tested again, and I tested positive. And I already had my tour bus come and grab Georgia and Leanne and drive them back to LA. So it’s me and Isla.

JOE ROGAN: And Isla was like, I only got it because I stayed up late one night drinking and playing pool till like 5 o’clock in the morning with my friend John Shulman.

BERT KREISCHER: I remember you telling, I remember you telling me that you’re like, it’s more, you said you were more run down. That’s why you got it.

JOE ROGAN: I was exhausted because my friend John, John Shulman, shout to John. He’s, he makes pool cues. Like, awesome pool cues. And he lives in Florida. And I, you know, talked to him back and forth online, but I never hung out with him. And then I made an appointment to meet him at a pool hall, and we met at this pool hall and we played pool till like 5 o’clock in the morning, laughing, having a good time.

And then I got back to the hotel. I was, like, really tired. I was like, boy, I fed up. I went so hard. Like, we were out and I had a bunch of margaritas and it was late, you know, it was late at night. And then in the morning, I just felt like sht. I took a hot bath. I felt like sh*t. I had a gig that night. I did a gig that night. I did an arena with Tony Hinchcliffe and Laura Bytes. We did an arena in Florida.

And then I flew back home. And on the way home, I was cold. I was like, God, why am I so cold? Is this airplane cold? And then I, when I got home, I told my wife, I’m like, I’m not feeling good. I go, I might have COVID. Maybe you should sleep in another room. Because she had gotten COVID and gotten over it, which, by the way, when she had it, I didn’t even think about. I was like, I’m trying to get it. I never got it.

My whole family got it. But, like, I’ve always been the one who’s like, always cold plunging, always sauna, always vitamins, always working out. She works out too, but it’s like she got it, you know, and my kids got it. And I was home. I hugged them like, daddy, you’re going to get it. Like, I’m kidding. I never got it.

Yeah, I had two days when I worked out where I didn’t feel that good. So when I worked out, I just took it light. I just went through the routine, like, nice and easy, not pushing myself. And then the next day, still don’t feel that good. Nice and easy. Don’t push. And then the third day, I’m like, I feel pretty good. And I went pretty hard. I’m like, feel great. And it was done. I never got COVID.

And then that one time I got it, and then I didn’t get it that bad. The one day I felt like sh*t. I got all the meds. And then, you know, a couple days later I made that video and I put that video up. But that was honest. I was like, I got COVID, I got all this medicine. I feel better now.

Media Criticism and Pharmaceutical Influence

They didn’t like the idea that this healthy person was saying, you could get over this. And also a healthy person that’s in their 50s was saying, you can get over this and you don’t need this radical experimental medicine that they’re trying to push on people. And so that’s just another example of the mainstream media that’s not there for the news.

Because if they really were there to inform people, they would say, well, what did he do? What’s different about him? Because they’re fing compromised, they’re all compromised by the people that pay their advertising budget. The amount of money that pharmaceutical drug companies spend on mainstream media is fing preposterous.

And they don’t do it because they’re trying to convince people to sell drugs. They do it specifically because they don’t want those media organizations to criticize any vaccines or any pharmaceutical drugs. You never hear them talking about there’s no mainstream big media stories about side effects of some sort of new medication. And if there is, it’s because that company is probably about to go under and a new company is asking them to talk about it.

Sleep Apnea and Breathing Techniques

BERT KREISCHER: Makes me, I mean, I’ve always said people think I’m a f*ing idiot, but I don’t trust sleep apnea machines.

JOE ROGAN: Well, sleep apnea machines work.

BERT KREISCHER: I know, but I think they over diagnose sleep apnea machines because there’s a kickback. There’s got to be a kickback.

JOE ROGAN: Well, there probably is. There’s a, you know, look, sleep apnea is a real thing and it’s really f*ing dangerous.

BERT KREISCHER: But is it, is it as, I mean, people die. Everyone’s got it.

JOE ROGAN: Well, not everyone has it. A lot of people snore. But there’s ways around. There’s mouthpieces you can use to keep your tongue from closing your windpipe. You know what I do? I put a mouthpiece. I put a mouthpiece in and then I use mouth tape. I’ve been using mouth tape, you know, like, you know, hostage tape.

Yeah, I use that stuff. I put it over my mouth and I sleep and I breathe through my nose. And I feel so much better when I wake up. I mean, significantly better with less sleep. Like, if I have 5 hours sleep with hostage tape, I feel better than if I have 8 hours sleep without it.

BERT KREISCHER: Really?

JOE ROGAN: A hundred percent.

BERT KREISCHER: See, I…

JOE ROGAN: You feel different. I don’t know why. I’m sure, okay, let’s find out. What is the science behind breathing through your nose while you sleep? Why is it better? Like, what is the science behind it? I don’t know what the science is, but I know that a bunch of health experts, they recommended it to me. I was like, tape my mouth shut. That sounds so stupid.

Yeah, I did it. And then the first night I did it, I woke up and I’m like, whoa, I feel great. Like, I feel significantly better. And now I do it every night. So I put a mouthpiece in, and then I put the hostage tape over my mouth.

BERT KREISCHER: So the mouthpiece just holds your tongue in place.

JOE ROGAN: Exactly. Because I have a big tongue. I have a big tongue and I have a big neck. The problem is when you have big neck muscles, like football players, a lot of them, most of them have sleep apnea because all those muscles that constrict the walls of your throat, so there’s all this tissue that didn’t exist before, and then you have this fat tongue. So I can’t sleep on my back. If I sleep on my back, it’s like, that’s me. Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: Okay.

JOE ROGAN: Breathing through the nose during sleep offers key health advantages over mouth breathing. It filters and conditions air for better lung efficiency and promotes deeper rest. Nasal passages filter dust, allergens, and pollutants while warming and humidifying air, protecting the airways from irritation. This reduces dryness in the mouth and throat common with mouth breathing.

BERT KREISCHER: I got that. I wake up, my mouth’s so dry, my tongue’s like a finger.

The Benefits of Nose Breathing During Sleep

JOE ROGAN: Reduce snoring and sleep apnea risk. Nose breathing keeps the tongue positioned correctly against the palate and jaw forward, maintaining an open airway that minimize snoring and sleep apnea episodes. Mouth breathing allows the tongue to fall back, obstructing airflow, which definitely happens to me.

Improved oxygen. Jesus. Oxygenation and relaxation. It boosts nitric oxide production for better oxygen uptake and blood flow, supporting deeper sleep cycles and parasympathetic nervous system activation for relaxation. This leads to fewer awakenings and higher sleep quality.

Look for me. I know for a fact it helps. For a fact, for my personal feeling, when I wake up in the morning and I tape my mouth shut, I feel way better.

BERT KREISCHER: Really?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, like, way better.

BERT KREISCHER: I snore like crazy, but I don’t notice it.

JOE ROGAN: The only problem is you have a beard, so the tape, like, will slip off with a beard.

BERT KREISCHER: You know, maybe I’ll just get denture cream and put it on my lips. You ever do that? We used to do that. People, when they were sleeping, squeeze your lips together.

JOE ROGAN: How do you open them then?

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, you can’t.

JOE ROGAN: Oh.

BERT KREISCHER: When people would pass out the house, we put denture cream on their lips.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, boy.

BERT KREISCHER: And then they wake up, like, f*ing terrifying. Terrible. That’s terrible.

So we do that. I’m still kind of stuck. I’m still stuck on this concept that with corporate money, we lose not as much freedom of speech or freedom of opinion.

Corporate Influence on Media and Objective Reality

JOE ROGAN: Well, you lose objective reality from people that are supposed to be giving you information. Right? So they’re not giving you reality. What they’re giving you is a filtered narrative that has been promoted by major corporations that have a vested interest in profiting off of this narrative being pushed forward. Like, if you don’t get the vaccine, you’re going to die. Right?

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: That was a big one. And that was why they attacked me. Why they attacked me because, like, I showed that there’s something different. Like, oh look at this healthy guy who’s in his 50s that’s really obsessed with health, works out every day. And look how quick he got over Covid. This isn’t this thing that we’re pretending it is. We’re pretending it’s the plague. It’s not. It’s like a bad flu.

And again, for me, it was like, and look, I’ve done this for, like I said, I did it for a lot of people, but just IV vitamins. I’ve sent people to people. I did it for Bill Burr. Bill Burr was here, and he was sick and he was coughing, and this is, like, long after the pandemic. It’s like 2024. And he was doing a show, and I came to visit him. He’s like, “I can’t get over this cold.”

I go, “Listen to me. I go, I’m going to give you this number. I’m going to give these people. You’re going to get ahold of them and schedule an IV Mega dose. Vitamin trip. You want high doses of vitamin B. You want high doses of D, you want high doses of C and zinc. You want all those things together, and I guarantee you you’re going to be fine.”

So he was sick for weeks. He couldn’t get over this fing cough. He calls me, like, a day later. He goes, “Dude, I can’t fing believe how good I feel.” He goes, “Dr. Joe Rogan, I’m calling you every time I have a problem with this again.”

And look, I did the same thing for Dana White. When Dana White had Covid, he threw some eucalyptus on the rocks in the sauna, and he couldn’t smell it, and he goes, “Oh, my God, I got Covid.” He goes, “The first thing I did is call Joe Rogan.” He called me up, and I said, “I’ll set you up. We’re going to get you monoclonal antibodies. We’re going to get you this, we’re going to get you that.” Boom. One day later, he’s better.

That’s the reality. It’s like your body needs tools to let your immune system function at its optimum. And one of the best tools is nutrients. Vitamin D is amazing for your immune system. And it’s not just a vitamin. It’s a hormone. And it’s a hormone that we don’t get because we’re not in the sun enough. That’s where the best way to get vitamin D is sunlight. The second best way is supplementation.

And it’s really easy. You just take vitamin D supplements. Take it with K2, which makes it absorb better, and I take it also, again with magnesium, and do that. And I also took zinc with, what is that stuff called? It’s an ionophore, quercetin. So I take zinc with quercetin. Quercetin aids in the zinc absorption in your body. I take all these different things, but I also, I’m on the ball. I know what I’m doing.

But they didn’t say that. They said, “He’s taking horse dewormer” because they were trying to shame me, and they were trying to make it look like I was a fool, and they were trying to turn all these people that were terrified about dying from this plague against me.

Corporate Podcasting and the Golden Globes

BERT KREISCHER: Is that what’s happening? I mean, I’m a little obsessed lately, you know, at the money behind podcasting and podcasting kind of changing. You know, podcasting has gotten a little more corporate where I feel, I don’t know if you see it.

JOE ROGAN: In what way?

BERT KREISCHER: Well, it’s like, I mean, I looked at the Golden Globes and who was nominated, and those were all, I mean, I think they’re all, you know, corporate podcasts.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. Let me help with that. So here’s the thing. A lot of people say, “Why wasn’t Joe Rogan nominated for the Golden Globes?” And, like, why did you know, Amy Poehler went? I didn’t submit.

So they asked me to submit to be nominated for the Golden Globes. And you had to pay $500. And the $500 is, like, for paperwork or whatever. I said, “No. I go, I don’t care. I already won.”

Like, you can’t tell me I didn’t win. I’ve been number one for six years in a row. All of a sudden you’re going to have a contest in front of all these people wearing tuxedos, and you’re going to say, now I’m not number one. Like, f* off. Yeah, you can’t.

Like, I don’t care that I’m number one, but I am, in fact, number one. So if all of a sudden you have a contest to decide who’s really number one amongst us, like, that’s amongst you. You’re allowed to have your opinion. You like Amy Poehler better than me. That’s great.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, that’s so f*ing funny, Joe. Do you know how many people have been, like, ride or die for you? Like, the fact that Joe Rogan didn’t win. The fact that, and I’ve heard that so much that it’s so funny. You just didn’t submit.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, they asked me to. Yeah. I was, like, one of, like, six candidates. They took the top people. They basically just took the top people. The charts. But which, you know, it’s fine.

BERT KREISCHER: First of all, Amy Poehler’s podcast is pretty good.

JOE ROGAN: I haven’t seen it.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s pretty good.

JOE ROGAN: I’m sure it’s good. It won. Yeah, I’m sure someone must love it.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s really good.

JOE ROGAN: They would give it to someone else.

BERT KREISCHER: Right? Dax is really good. Like, there’s some great podcasts out there.

JOE ROGAN: Who was even nominated? I don’t even know who was in. I just know that Amy Poehler won, and a lot of people are upset. She said a podcast for six months and she won. Great. You gave it to a famous person, which, you know, in that world, that’s what they do. They give it to a person that, like, is going to, look, you give it to Amy Poehler amongst their circles, it’s not going to have any criticism. Look, there’s a lot of really good podcasts.

BERT KREISCHER: There’s some great.

JOE ROGAN: I don’t know if amongst her group, if I listen to all of them, I would decide that hers is number one, but I just know that I didn’t submit. I don’t want to be a part of that. I don’t care. You’re just a group of people that just decide all of a sudden that you’re going to give an award out. You got a trophy. F* off, dude.

Winning Beyond Awards

BERT KREISCHER: This, okay, like so when we did the show and everyone’s like, “Are you looking for a season two?” And I, obviously, that’d be great. But you know what I said to Leanne the day after it came out? I said, “I think I already won.” I think I, like, I got everything I wanted. I did something I’m proud of. And people responding to it, people like, the texts I get are people that will never promote it on their show.

JOE ROGAN: Ron White loves it. Ron loved it.

BERT KREISCHER: When Ron came in last night and the first thing he said to me was, “I watched your show. I watched every f*ing episode.”

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he binged it. He binged it with his girlfriend.

BERT KREISCHER: I was like, Joe, you know how I feel about Ron. I’ll get emotional.

JOE ROGAN: He’s like, and Ron’s not a bullshit artist.

BERT KREISCHER: He’s not.

JOE ROGAN: If Ron loved it, he loved it. And he came in and he was ranting and raving about it. That’s all you need. Just do your best. All these awards and all this, awards for art are crazy.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s insane because it’s not, it shouldn’t be a competition.

JOE ROGAN: Well, it’s also so subjective. There is music that like my daughter loves. It is her favorite music, but she’s a 15 year old girl. I can’t say it sucks because it doesn’t suck. It’s just not for me.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: You know what I mean? It’s like that’s why awards for art are crazy. Like, this is the best. Like, to who? To a group of f*ing people that we deem the gatekeepers of all that’s appropriate.

NewsRadio and Ratings

BERT KREISCHER: So when did you come? You know, I’m always fascinated by you. When did you care about ratings when you were on NewsRadio?

JOE ROGAN: Oh, no. Well, NewsRadio thing was hilarious because.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s one that I can say for people that haven’t watched it, I would say, binge that show. It was such an amazing piece of art. We would say, but always and respectfully, always in the losing category. Like, never always in the losing category.

JOE ROGAN: My friend Lou, he was one of the writers on NewsRadio and he would show up for the table read with a T shirt that had the number of our rating on it. And one day he showed up and the number was 88. And I was like, “88?” He’s like, I’m like, I was like, “God.”

Because we got moved nine times over the course of five years. Like, I remember, like, one of the things that just, like, social media poisons people back then, it was Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. So all of the cast would be sitting around reading Variety about how good Sex and the City was doing and the single guy and, you know, because they would, they would sandwich them in between Friends and Seinfeld.

And, you know, Paul Sims, the producer of NewsRadio, would call it a shit sandwich, because you would have these two really good shows in between these shows that were not that good. They would call it Caroline and the Shitty, and, like, everybody was upset.

And so they would read these things in Variety. They’d look at the ratings, and they’d get all upset and start getting pissed off. “And that show sucks. Why is that show doing so well? Why aren’t we on Thursday night?”

And I remember saying, “Oh, last time I checked, I’m on TV. I go, do you know we’re on a TV show? Do you know how few people get to be on a sitcom? Yeah, we’re not number one. Well, good. Then no one knows who we are. And we get to be on TV and we get to have fun, and some people enjoy it. We’re making so much money.”

Like, how can you be upset we could not be on TV? Like, yeah, we’re not number one. Yeah, we have a really good show that’s not being recognized. Eventually was recognized when it went to syndication. So NewsRadio really only got popular in syndication.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, when it was on, anybody, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a TV show out of every TV show I’ve ever watched. And I was late to Friends. Look, it was, it was no Game of Thrones, but, or even Queen of Dragons, whatever the f* the other one. House of Dragons. Yeah, that’s a pretty good show, too.

But when I discovered NewsRadio, I was like, you guys had every character. Like, it was not just one character. It was five different.

JOE ROGAN: Are we back? Yeah, we’re back. We’ve been having this problem where we crash, like, a couple hours into a podcast.

BERT KREISCHER: But it was such, you, it was, it was five personalities, six personalities, all working in union, different, at different speeds.

JOE ROGAN: It was really good.

The Perfect Show Formula

BERT KREISCHER: It was such a great show.

JOE ROGAN: Paul Sims came from the Larry Sanders show, so he was really good, you know, and it was just a brilliant guy, and the writers were amazing, and the cast was amazing, but it was the perfect scenario. So we went through it without everyone getting famous. We put together a great show, and then we sailed off into the sunset. Was perfect.

For me, because I never wanted to do it again once it was over. Yeah, I didn’t. I mean, I took a few development deals afterwards just because I wanted the money. And I thought, maybe I’ll make my own show and it’ll be good. But, ugh.

Working with these writers and like, so many. Some of these writing teams was really interesting. Writing teams are generally one brilliant guy and then the other guy who writes things down, and then they both get deals, and then I would wind up with the guy who wrote things down. So I got one of these writers who was a writing team on Seinfeld, and the team broke up. And then I got this guy, and he wrote this script that was so bad. It was so bad. I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I was like. And then they were trying to pretend they’re excited about it. I go, did you read it? This is terrible.

Because the problem was, I’d come from News Radio, which was a really good show, and most of these shows are terrible. And most of the guys that I knew that were doing terrible sitcoms were living in hell because they were doing these, like, corny a. And all they wanted to do is, like, figure out a way to make themselves feel better. So they spend money or they party, and that’s what they were doing. They were all just partying and spending money and not enjoying their work. Their work was terrible. It was hell.

So I kind of realized early on that this trap of, like, chasing the number one ratings and all that, it was just stupid. It was just nonsense. And then, you know, Fear Factor was number one for a while, I think. I think it was. It was hugely popular, whatever it was. And that was weird, too. It’s like. Well, that’s also strange now. That was about it, and everybody. It was just like this thing that was everywhere. It was very strange.

BERT KREISCHER: This is how you can tell how big a show is. Tell me if I’m wrong. I can remember what night it aired on. Monday nights.

JOE ROGAN: Fear Factor.

BERT KREISCHER: Was it Monday nights?

JOE ROGAN: I don’t remember. I think it was Monday. I don’t remember.

BERT KREISCHER: I remember the Fresh Prince of Bel Air was Monday nights. I remember Seinfeld was Thursdays, right?

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

Creating a Binge-Worthy Series

BERT KREISCHER: That’s the thing about TV now, which is so bizarre, is like, when I pitched this show. Have you seen Slow Horses?

JOE ROGAN: Yes. I love it.

BERT KREISCHER: So when I went to Netflix, they were like, we want to do a show with you. I was like, great. And they’re like, what’s the show? I said, it’s my family. It’s I’m Bert Kreischer. Georgia and Isla. Leanne. I’m a comedian. I’m me. Everything’s the same. Nothing changes. I don’t have a job. I’m this guy. And they’re like, okay. I go, but it’s meet Slow Horses. And they’re like, what the f* you talking about? I said, all I can tell you is I don’t want to do episodic. I want Slow Horses. I said, when I watched Slow Horses, and this is why Ron’s compliment was so kind, because I created the show so that me, Jared and Andy.

JOE ROGAN: I should explain Slow Horses.

BERT KREISCHER: Slow Horses is Gary Oldman. It is a spy thriller. They’re a group of like low grade spies that all kind of got put into an office off to the side and. But they don’t realize how important their office still is. They’re still very ingrained in all the s that the big office is doing, but they’re the B team. And so the big office is constantly fing with the little office.

JOE ROGAN: So how is your show like Slow Horses?

BERT KREISCHER: The day I watched Slow Horses, I watched Slow Horses the week before I went in for this meeting and I watched the first episode of Slow Horses. And at the very end of that first episode, I hit pause, I looked at Leanne, I said, we’re watching every episode until it’s over. Right now we’re going to, we’re going to watch all of them. And I did that with that and Black Doves.

And I said to Netflix, I said, I want to make this where that first episode, it’s not episodic. The Kreischers get a horse, the Kreischers get a dog.

JOE ROGAN: It all goes together.

BERT KREISCHER: I go, the first episode, at that last line, I say the very last line of that first episode, I want you to look at the person you’re with and go, I’m watching all f*ing six. And so it’s an arc. It’s a six story arc. It’s basically a two hour and 30 minute movie that you can stop at any point. And the compliment I’ve been getting is the one Ron gave me is like, I binged it. I watched all of it.

JOE ROGAN: That’s great. That’s a smart move for a comedy to do it like that. Like it’s one big story.

BERT KREISCHER: Black Doves is great too. Black Doves.

JOE ROGAN: Great, dude.

BERT KREISCHER: Black Doves. When we did the premiere in LA, Netflix came up to me and shout out to Netflix. And they were like, you know, when you pitched this, we had no idea what you were selling us. Like, when you said Black Doves and Slow Horses like that. Those were your comps. And then they were like, we watched that first episode and they’re like, you f*ing did it. Like, you made a show where at that very end of that first episode, at that moment and the very beginning of the second episode, I have a joke about you, but I thought I’d throw one in. You gave me a little love in your special. I’d give you a little love back.

And so at the very end of that first episode, I wanted it so that you go, oh, this guy’s f*ed. I got to see how he gets out of this. And that’s the compliment I’ve been getting from people is that they watched all of them. They binged it. And that’s like. Because, you know, you try to do something a little different. And that’s why when you said that, you didn’t submit. I connected so hard because I was like, I don’t need it to be. It’s not going to be the number one show on Netflix. It’s never going to be the greatest show they ever made. There’s too many good shows. But the fact that people have liked it, I go, I think I won. I think I got the thing I wanted.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

Real Compliments from Real People

BERT KREISCHER: Was just like, I got a text. I got a text. I’m sure this. And I apologize, Luke, if this sounds weird. Luke Combs texted me last night. Now, he’s not like a. He’s not a social media guy. He just texted me. He’s like, dude, I just watched your entire show, Luke Combs.

JOE ROGAN: And I’m like, he’s cool as f*.

BERT KREISCHER: He’s cool.

JOE ROGAN: I’ve hung out with that dude a few times, as f*.

BERT KREISCHER: And he’s understated. He’s the guy. He’s fascinating to me because he’s the guy. We just did a podcast. He’s the guy that. He goes into the room and he’s not going to talk to anyone because he doesn’t want to bother you. He’s one of the biggest stars in country music. He’s one of the most talented guys, and he’s very humble. And he’s like, I did the CMAs, and I saw him and he just. He stays to himself. He doesn’t. And I was like, wow, what a slick dude. And he’s like, no, I’m not trying to be slick. I just don’t want to bother anybody.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: And so when Luke Combs texted me last night, I texted Leanne. I was like, can you believe? Like, that’s not the guy you think, right?

JOE ROGAN: It’s a real compliment. Not from like a cheesy a kisser.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s real, dude. He really, you know, he’s not lying, right?

JOE ROGAN: He really liked it.

BERT KREISCHER: The first person to text was Chris DiStefano. And that’s a real one. He’s like, dude, you’re a good actor. This is a great series. As the very first text I got, and I was like, comics don’t have to text. They don’t. We don’t. Like, I texted Shane when I saw Tires. It’s a game changer. I was like, this is incredible. Whatever. But when a comic texts, you’re like, that’s okay. Like, I didn’t expect you to watch it, but Luke Combs floored me. Luke Combs and Bradley Cooper was another one.

JOE ROGAN: That’s awesome. Just do something that you enjoy and do your best at it. This idea of awards. Yeah, like, f* off with your awards. Like that. It’s like there’s so many moments in history have been defined by these, like, goofy a awards. Like, what is that? The only thing is good, is it like, if something wins an Academy Award for best movie, I go, oh, maybe I’ll see it, like, occasionally. But you know what’s better than that? One of my friends saying, it’s great, dude. And. Or someone posting on social media, like, oh, this someone that I respect on social media posting it and saying, hey, you need to watch. This is amazing.

Hidden Documentary Gems

BERT KREISCHER: Do you ever see the movie American Movie?

JOE ROGAN: What is that?

BERT KREISCHER: It’s about the two guys in Wisconsin trying to make a horror film called Covenant.

JOE ROGAN: God, I think I did. Is it a long time ago?

BERT KREISCHER: Long time ago. Documentary. And there one guy’s done way too much acid. And it’s just. It’s like one of those movies where someone says to you, you have to see this and it’s never going to win an award. Probably made no money. But it is the most fascinating. Jamie, can you pull the trailer up for that? If you see this, you’ll go, I saw it.

JOE ROGAN: Okay.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s the American movie, Mike. Oh, what was the other guy’s. Oh, this is so good. Joe.

JOE ROGAN: Imagine a world where passion and perseverance outweigh polish and dreams are both the driving force and the destination. What if I told you this world exists not in some far flung fantasy. But here in the heartland of America, this world is seen through the lens of an unsung documentary. Where we meet Mark Boshart. This is the trailer maker from Wisconsin.

BERT KREISCHER: This is. Okay, it’s.

JOE ROGAN: No, I didn’t see it, Joe.

BERT KREISCHER: This movie is so good, but it’s one of those things that. It’s like when you find something that you just fall in love with, like. Yeah, like that. That you can’t explain to someone like. Vernon, Florida. Have you ever seen Vernon, Florida?

JOE ROGAN: No.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s a documentary by Werner Herzog about. It was trying to. Him and another guy. Another guy did it. He was trying to do a documentary called Nub City, right? It was about this place in Florida where a lot of people had lost limbs and were collecting insurance money. And he went in to do a documentary about that and he got his life threatened, but he had all this footage. So I think Werner Herzog came in and dumped a little money in it. And he just made the most bizarre documentary about a guy talking about turkey hunting and another guy talking about, like. It’s like four different personalities. Joe. It’s on YouTube. You can find it.

JOE ROGAN: Werner Herzog does some amazing, amazing, amazing.

BERT KREISCHER: This thing, Joe, is like something you start watching and you go, like, I can’t turn it off.

JOE ROGAN: I mean, he did Grizzly Man. He did. What is that other one? The one about the cave paintings in France he did. This was made by Errol Morris.

BERT KREISCHER: Errol Morris wasn’t Werner Herzog. No, no, he. Errol trying to highlight on there.

JOE ROGAN: It says it’s an Errol Morris film. Oh, so it’s not Werner.

BERT KREISCHER: No, Werner Herzog backed him. He was the one that paid for it.

JOE ROGAN: I see, I see.

BERT KREISCHER: He produced it.

JOE ROGAN: He was also. Werner Herzog was a part of that movie, Happy People. You ever see that?

BERT KREISCHER: No, it’s not.

The Value of Physical Struggle

JOE ROGAN: Oh, my God. It’s about these people that live in Siberia. These guys that live in a small village in Siberia, and they’re just fishermen and trappers and hunters, and they basically just live off the land. And they’re so happy. There’s like no mental illness. Everybody works really hard. It’s freezing cold at night. They’re always drinking. And everyone’s happy.

And it’s called Happy People Life in the Taiga. It’s a great documentary because it just shows you that, like, without struggle, you will create struggle. And when you have struggle all the time, like physical struggle, people seem to be satisfied and happy, especially when they’re living off the land. Living like a subsistence lifestyle. They’re out in the forest, they’re catching fish. And it’s a great documentary. It’s really interesting.

BERT KREISCHER: Did you feel it? Because I remember we went to birthday party at your house and your wife introduced my girls and Leanne to chickens. And Leanne and the girls immediately got chickens.

JOE ROGAN: Chickens are awesome.

BERT KREISCHER: The happiest my family was out of all the times we’ve been happy was when they had a garden and they were raising chickens.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, it’s good for you, man.

BERT KREISCHER: And then that, that like extra, like, did you guys clean out the chicken coop? You need to clean like that little.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, work.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, work’s good for you.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, especially work that pays off. Like, you actually get eggs and you eat those eggs.

BERT KREISCHER: Those eggs.

The Joy of Raising Chickens

JOE ROGAN: And that’s like the most karma free food that you’ll ever get. Because they’re like, you treat them well, you feed them. You’re like, “Hey, girls.” I see them, I talk to them, I lift rocks for them. So they go under the rocks and pick out bugs and worms and sht. And they come near you, they like waddle over to you when they. And you like, get you ready, you ready and pick up the rock. And they immediately go in there and try to get the worms and bugs and sht. And then you get these delicious, healthy eggs.

BERT KREISCHER: Best eggs I’ve ever had in my entire life. Yellow, yellow, double.

JOE ROGAN: I remember getting orange.

BERT KREISCHER: Do you remember double yolks?

JOE ROGAN: You get double yolks. Yeah. But you know exactly how they’re raised. There’s no cruelty involved. You know how they’re fed, they lay an egg every day. That egg is never going to become a chicken. That’s what I tell to all my friends that are like vegetarians, that are doing it for, like, they’re just kind people. They don’t want an animal to die.

I’m like, you don’t have to kill an animal. Just eat eggs. Eggs have all the nutrients you need. Eat the yolk, eat the whole thing and you’ll be super healthy. Like, you can get all the animal protein that you need from eggs and you don’t ever have to worry about an animal dying.

The Connection Between Struggle and Happiness

BERT KREISCHER: So wait, do you think then when you talk about, what was that? Happy City, is it called?

JOE ROGAN: Happy People.

BERT KREISCHER: Happy People. Do you think your connection then to crushing it in the gym and killing it in the gym is directly connected to that struggle? The happiest I ever am is the second my workout’s done and I lay back and I just sweat.

JOE ROGAN: You did it. Yeah, you did it. Your body needs, I think in order for your body to survive, like when we were hunter gatherers, you had to do a bunch of work. So I think there’s human reward systems that are built in us that if you don’t meet those requirements, your body gets anxious.

And the most anxiety ridden, mentally ill people I know are these lazy slobs that are online all day complaining about people. Yeah, especially comics. I know so many comics that they spend a giant chunk of their day sh*tting on other comics and they’re all fat and lazy. And what is that? Well, it’s because they’re not healthy, they’re not mentally healthy, physically healthy. And so they’re completely obsessed with other things, external things.

You know, when we did that Sober October challenge, Tommy said it best because he was like, dude, when you work out, when we’re all competing against each other to see who got the highest fitness scores, Tommy said it best. Like when you work out all day, it kills all that internal chatter. Like you don’t worry about things anymore.

BERT KREISCHER: All that.

JOE ROGAN: What about this? What about that? That, what about this? What about that sh*t? Is your mind thinking there’s threats out there in the world? Because there used to be. Because you’re programmed to think about like what’s out there, what’s coming for me? Where the, is there a neighboring tribe that’s coming over the top of the hill? Where am I going to get my food? There’s all that stuff’s built in as a human reward system.

If you don’t meet that human reward system, you just doom scrolling on TikTok and Twitter all day and shtting on people. F Whitney Cummings and Ms. Rachel. There are just mentally ill slobs, all of them and their opinion should be dismissed. That’s why the idea of awards is so ridiculous. Who are these people that are giving you awards? They’re all unhealthy people for the most part. They’re all weirdos that are caught up in the, this bizarre, strange industry that rewards group think.

The My Zone Fitness Challenge

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, that’s probably the, the, probably the happiest my mind was when, when we had the, the year we had the straps. Remember we had.

JOE ROGAN: Oh yeah, yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: We were a member of that Kansas City workout club or something.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, we had to be. Yeah, the My Zone. The My Zone fitness straps. Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: And I remember, I mean I, you know, like you have memories in your head where you like you drive by a place and you, God, I remember that. And it was one night I said I was, I was going to run a marathon and you’re like, I’ll match it. I remember we were all texting and I remember getting up at like, it was like, put the girls to bed, it’s nine o’clock at night.

And I go, I’m going to run until midnight. And I had just this one f*ing mile loop. And I ran eight miles that night. And I just kept running. And I cannot run down Colfax. I can’t drive down Colfax without thinking of me just going one more lap. Just one more lap.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, those. Those were wearing yourself out’s good for your brain, man.

BERT KREISCHER: It really good.

JOE ROGAN: I don’t think we should do that again. Because the problem with that is that lit up that weird part of my brain, that obsessive part of my brain. And my wife asked me never to do that again. It’s like, because I was like, super serious. I got like, really into it and it just became an obsession.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, it’s just.

The Obsessive Competitor’s Mind

JOE ROGAN: It’s a, it’s a dangerous part of my own brain that I can’t entertain too much because I think that’s the part of my brain that was formulated in my competition days where it was like, my thought was, you know, like, I would go to the, because I had keys to the school. So I’d go and train at 2 o’clock in the morning because I knew nobody else was. I knew everybody else was asleep, so I’d go there.

I drive there by myself and unlock the doors and start training at 2 o’clock in the morning because I knew everybody was asleep. Yeah, that, that made me feel better. Like, b*tch, while you’re sleeping, I’m in here. You know.

BERT KREISCHER: Where did you put that competitiveness? Because I, I shelved my competitiveness. I don’t have it in comedy. I, I have a competitiveness with the industry that I felt ignored me at times. Like, I have, I want to prove things. Like, I did Fully Loaded because I never got on Oddball. And so I created that festival.

I remember I was with, we were at the Forest Hills arena or whatever, the outdoor stadium. Someone’s like, wow, this is crazy. Can you believe you did this? And I went, yeah. And they’re like, what made you want to do this? I go, because no one would ever invite me. And then they were like, wow, that was more of an answer than we expected.

But, like, and so there’s a competitiveness with me internally, but I was very competitive as an athlete. Like, unhealthy. And it was gross.

JOE ROGAN: How was it gross? Like, what sports?

BERT KREISCHER: Anything I did.

JOE ROGAN: Well, I think that’s Michael Jordan, right? When you’re talking about Michael Jordan, he was the most healthy.

Creating Rivalries in Your Head

BERT KREISCHER: Michael Jordan and Kelly Slater, the two ones, Tiger Woods, that I hear about. And I identify with the way their brain works, where I go, oh, I have that grossness where I create scenarios in my head to go, that’s it. I’m going to f*ing. I’d build up a rivalry with. I have a guy that I think about to this day who played baseball at Tampa Catholic. His name was Israel.

And I had a competitive, the guy doesn’t even know who the f I am. He never knew me. He was a pitcher. And I fing. And I, and I apologize, Israel, if you’re hearing this right now. We were 16, and I had a competitiveness in my head, and my goal was to hit him, to hit a line drive right back in, and he was a pitcher, and he threw inside, and I crushed one off his kneecap, and they pulled him out of the game.

And I stood on first base and I was like, that’s how it goes. Israel’s 53 years old right now.

JOE ROGAN: That was my f*ing drop. Is to hit him with a line drive.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s so competitive. And so I, and I, and when I got into stand up, I maybe, because I just, I saw that so many people were so far beyond me that I was like, well, I’m not playing their game, I guess. So I’m not. I never had a competitiveness in stand up.

JOE ROGAN: Well, you can’t. Well, you can listen. You could. There’s a good place for competitiveness. I mean, I am competitive, no doubt, but I don’t think about it in terms of, like, art.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

The Value of Healthy Competition

JOE ROGAN: I think my competition with either stand up or with podcasting is to be the best I can be, to do the best job I can. Like, if I have a guy on and he wants to talk about some science stuff or something like esoteric, I have to read his book or listen to the audiobook. I have to read articles. I have to get in. I have to do my best.

This guy’s going to fly in here from Europe or whatever it is. I have to be ready, and I have to be intrigued. And the only reason why I have him on the podcast in the first place is because I’m interested in it. So my thing is just do the best that I can.

And the way that I could do it the best I can is only talk to people that I want to talk to, to only reach out to people that I’m actually interested in, only accept invitations to someone that ignites my curiosity and just only do it that way. Never say, “Oh, this person will be great because they’re famous.”

One of the things you see about some of these podcasts that are doing well, all of their guests are famous, right? Which is like a built in cheat code. Like, let’s see what this guy. And I have famous people on all the time if I think they’re interesting, if I want to talk to them.

But I pass on a lot of famous people because I’m not interested in them or because they were really heavily pushing the vaccine during the pandemic. I’m like, “F you forever.” Yeah, there’s a few people that have tried to get on. I’m like, no, I would have before the pandemic, I would have been happy to have you on. But now I’m like, “F you forever.”

Who knows how many people you caused to have heart attacks. Who knows how many people you tricked into getting that and they had a stroke. Who knows? And they didn’t need it. Especially the people that already got Covid. You didn’t know what you were talking about and you just bootlicked for the man. That’s it.

But other than that, everybody else, it’s like, who is it? What do they want to talk about? So I just do my best. You know, I’m competitive when it comes to playing pool, but really, the pool, you’re playing against yourself. You’re playing another person and the other person is doing. But when you’re playing, nobody can block you. Nobody gets in front of you. You’re just trying to do your best.

So it’s all against you. All the competition is against you. Which is why I like to work out by myself. I’m playing against me. It’s me, it’s whatever my inside little inner is. I’m trying to squash that down. Beat his a again, and then he’s back again tomorrow.

Every time I lift the fing lid on that cold plunge, my inner is like, “Don’t do it. You don’t have to do this. You could not do it, and we’ll be fine.” Like the other day, it was 22 degrees outside and I had to break the ice off of the top of the thing because it was covered in ice. I break the ice off because I couldn’t barely lift the lid off the thing. So I had to knock off all the ice and then pick it up and climb on in. I’m like, “F you.” And this is like, it’s you to the inner dude.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s like when you said, I remember doing an interview with a guy when he was getting. I got a Netflix special coming out. I’m going to go out on the road for the next couple weeks. And I was like, couple weeks? Couple weeks? I’m gone. I’m not home for one month, one month out, I’m in my bus every night doing stand up. But 18 months out, I’m getting ready. Obsessive.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah.

BERT KREISCHER: I’ve got. I’m not shooting my next one until 2027, and I’m obsessive today. Last night, I was like, I tried all my new sh*t. I was like, I got to find out if real people laughed at this. My fans. I think my fans are willing to give me an inch.

JOE ROGAN: Well, they also know you. They know your story. They know all the references.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, but what’s crazy to me is we were, me and you. I can’t speak for the younger comics, but we were in a time at stand up when competitiveness was the norm.

The Evolution of Comedy Competition

JOE ROGAN: It was because of TV, though, dude. That was what it was. It was like everybody thought they were competing for a very small amount of slots. And then what happened was the Internet came along and we realized that, no, in fact, we’re actually an asset to each other because we do each other’s podcasts, we hang out with each other, which makes each other better.

When we’re all on a show together and you’re killing and Tom’s killing and Ari’s killing, the more people are killing, the more we’re going to do better because we’re going to get excited about it.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And we’ll be inspired. And so we became valuable to each other instead of competitive against each other. And if there was any competition that you were having with your friends, it was actually healthy competition because it just made you try harder.

Like, if you saw if Ari went up and did, when Ari did his Jew special, which fing incredible. That special was so good, it made so many people get inspired to work on a theme and write and really try to develop something. Like, look at what he did. He just put together this fing incredible special. It was really f*ing good.

And that kind of competition is healthy competition. It’s inspirational. Instead of saying, “I hope that guy gets hit by a bus. F him.” All these slobs that are on Twitter and they’re talking sht about comedians and are angry about comedians. They have one thing in common. They’re almost all failures. They’re either failures or they’re extremely mediocre.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: They’re in the middle of mediocrity. No one’s got them as their favorite comedian. No one’s got them as their favorite podcaster. No one’s got them as anything. They just don’t do that well. So what do they do? They’re attacking people. So their competitiveness is a very unhealthy competitiveness.

If their competitiveness was healthy, they would say, “Well, what is it about this person where she’s getting all these comedy specials and she’s in front of all these roasts? Why is Nikki Glaser doing so well and I’m not?” Instead of hating on Nikki Glaser, but that’s not what a narcissist does. “What about me? How come I’m not getting there?” And then they get all fing angry. They start talking sht about her.

Meanwhile, she still kills it. She’s still on the road. She’s still selling out. She’s still getting out there. Everybody screams and cheers. Why? Because she put in the work. And if you put in the work and if you looked at yourself and you objectively analyze what you’re doing and said, “Why is this going well? Why is this not going well?” And worked harder, you would be where she is.

But you’re not. So what are you doing? You’re on Twitter every day for 12 hours like a fing mental patient, just shtting on people and getting in arguments and saying mean things. It’s crabs in a bucket. You’re just trying to pull people down that are doing better than you. “Where you going? Get back down here.” That’s all it is.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: It’s unhealthy. That’s why you can’t read that stuff because you absorb the atmosphere of the people that you surround yourself with. And like it or not, when you’re interacting with people on social media, you are surrounding yourself with their thoughts.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: And they’re unhealthy people that you would never hang out with in real life. And if you did, if you said, “Well, why do you think that way?” And then they would say something like, that doesn’t make any sense. “This is why that doesn’t make any sense.” And then they would run away and go talk sh*t about you on social media because they’re cowards. So you can’t live in a world of cowards and mentally ill people. You can’t. It’s not good for you.

Surrounding Yourself with Excellence

BERT KREISCHER: When I started hanging out with the group I’m around now, right. I want to say it was you. You were saying, surround yourself with good people. And I remember reading a quote that week, and I’ve butchered it. But I said, if you hang out with enough great white sharks, people think you’re a great white shark.

All they see is the fin. And it’s like, if I hang out with the best f*ing comics in the world, if I surround myself with the best comics in the world, I’m going to have to get better.

JOE ROGAN: Yes.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m going to get better. And I remember, I can tell you, the first time I saw your Kim or your Caitlyn Jenner joke of the gargoyles, the demon. Yeah. And you’re on the stool and you got the stool and the gargoyle. I remember watching that crying, laughing, going, “I’m not using the stage at all. I’m not using the stage.”

Or I remember Burr doing an act out, and I never expected Burr to do an act out. He was talking to an immigrant kid he hired that lived in the bushes or that he adopted. He goes, “So and so’s not going to live in the house. We’re going to keep in the bushes.” He said, “Come on, man, there’s a reason you have bushes.” But he was doing an act out.

And I remember going, “God dmn it, man. I don’t ever do act outs.” I think I always surrounded myself around better comics to see what the meal was being made and go, “Well, sht, I’m just making French fries. You can turn that into a baked potato.”

JOE ROGAN: Well, we don’t exist in a vacuum. This is one of the things that I always say about comics. You never find the best comic in the country or one of the best comics in the country by themselves in Birmingham, Alabama. It doesn’t exist. They’re always in either New York, Louisiana, Austin. There’s a few other places where you find out about someone really good and they’re always around other people that are really good.

Because comedy is one of those things where you really only experience it live. When you see someone doing a special, specials are great, but a special is like 60% of the real show. If you’re there in the audience, you get 100% of the real show. You get hypnotized by the show. You get caught up in it. If the guys got it together, it’s really well pieced and timed and edited. It’s so much fun, but you got to be there.

And when you’re at a club and you see Gillis and Ron White, and we had the Mothership, you have all these great comics. Man, the atmosphere is just uplifting. Everybody’s inspired and exciting. And for people that are listening, “Yeah, that’s great for you guys. Be f*ing famous comedians.” You could do this with your friends. Whatever you’re doing, I don’t care what you’re doing.

If you guys are all pickleball players, just work hard to be the best fing pickleball player. Hang out with other pickleball players. Talk about pickleball. Get involved in. Push each other. Tell each other what you’re doing that’s making you better. Tell each other what are the different things you’re doing that’s enhancing your recovery or whatever the f you’re into. Find other people that are also into it. Surround yourself with people that have a similar thing, and you all lift each other up.

BERT KREISCHER: And you need the other voices. Because I think sometimes the best jokes you tell are you don’t realize you’re telling a joke. You don’t realize it’s a bit. And then someone goes, “Yo, man.” I remember we were doing a new material night one night, and I got off stage and you walked up to me and you go, “Did you really not know that Helen Keller and Anne Frank weren’t the same person?” And I was like, “Yeah, I used to think they’re the same person.”

The Helen Keller Conspiracy

JOE ROGAN: Oh, did you? You know what I’ve been reading that Helen Keller was a fraud.

BERT KREISCHER: Okay, hold on. Let’s start here. Okay, so, okay, I heard Stevie Wonder, Cassie. Okay? And there’s footage of him doing seeing guy sh*t.

JOE ROGAN: Like, what?

BERT KREISCHER: Pull it up. There’s all sorts of stuff.

JOE ROGAN: And some very interesting stories people have told, too. Shut the f* up. Yeah, there’s a great secret to keep that secret for so long while you’re still alive. Helen Keller’s dead, and it just leaked out in 2026.

BERT KREISCHER: Dude. Helen Keller, her doctors were saying that.

JOE ROGAN: She responded to stimuli, to sound, to visual. And then her writing was apparently all the same grammatical errors and spelling errors that her handler had.

The Shannon Sharpe Incident

BERT KREISCHER: This goes back to Club Shay Shay, Joe. It’s just like he says to me, “You lost it all and you built it back.” And I just Stevie Wondered him. I’m like, “Yeah, I can’t see, man.”

JOE ROGAN: Me and Eddie Bravo were crying, laughing. Because I was on the toilet when he called me, and I’m taking a sh*t. And he’s like, “Did Bert Kreischer lose everything?” I’m like, what?

BERT KREISCHER: What do you mean? You said to me—

JOE ROGAN: He goes, “He was on Shannon.” I go, “He didn’t lose everything.” And I go, “I bet Shannon Sharp just said that.” And I could see Bert totally just going with it. And we were crying, laughing. Eddie and I were crying, like, why would you go with that? Why wouldn’t you just tell him? Tell you? Bert wouldn’t. He wouldn’t even. I don’t know, Shannon. I just pull myself back up and just, I hit rock bottom. You never hit rock bottom. He was never even in the middle. He was always doing great.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s what happened to Stevie Wonder. They were just like, “Hey, man, I heard you’re blind.” He’s like, “What?” And someone’s like, “Just, come on.”

JOE ROGAN: This can’t be real.

BERT KREISCHER: I swear to God.

JOE ROGAN: There’s video of Ray Charles is blind. Don’t kill my all my dreams.

BERT KREISCHER: Ray Charles is really blind, but okay.

JOE ROGAN: Stevie Wonder’s got a lot of p*ssy, too.

BERT KREISCHER: Stevie Wonder.

JOE ROGAN: You know why?

BERT KREISCHER: Because he didn’t care what it looked like.

JOE ROGAN: He didn’t give a f. He just cared what it felt like. Did you smell good? Do you smell good? Can we f?

The Blind Guy Rating Game

BERT KREISCHER: I brought a blind guy on stage one time in Hartford, Connecticut. I was like, he was with a f*ing smoking hot chick.

JOE ROGAN: He probably didn’t even know.

BERT KREISCHER: And I know. I said, I go, “Dude, what a waste.” And he was like, “What?” And I go, “You got a beautiful chick, but you could just, I mean, wouldn’t a fat one feel better? Because you’re all touch, right?” And he goes, “No, man, I can feel her face.” And I went, “What?” She’s gorgeous. She was.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, he could feel her face.

BERT KREISCHER: This is when I was young and there were no rules in comedy and no one had phones. So I said, “Hey, man, come up on stage. I want you to feel people in the audience and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10.”

JOE ROGAN: Oh, no.

BERT KREISCHER: The confidence of these chicks. “I’ll do it.” Gets up, feels her face. He’s like, “Oh, four.” And the crowd was like, this guy’s good. He could have worked at a fair, Joe. I mean, he was so f*ing good. He was so good. You have to have footage of Stevie Wonder shaking dude’s hands.

JOE ROGAN: Come on.

BERT KREISCHER: There’s one where I saw where he comes up on stage and Stevie’s ticket sticks his hand out to the side, and the guy’s like, “Hey, what’s up, Stevie?” There’s—

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, but I mean, he would hear people and know that they were the side of him.

BERT KREISCHER: I don’t know. That’s what I heard. But then I think that’s what happened with Helen Keller is right. The story.

Stevie Wonder FaceTime Stories

JOE ROGAN: Well, Helen Keller seems like it was fraud. It seems like she probably was, like, visually impaired. Okay. When someone attempted to shake hands with Stevie Wonder, I pray this. Oh, that’s a joke. Making fun of it. Okay. So not that. Oh, but I did find, so there’s a bunch of compilations of people like, this is from Drink Champs. These TV one Wonder stories keep getting wilder every time.

BERT KREISCHER: Shout out. You ever had Drink Champs on?

JOE ROGAN: No. Let’s, let me, let me hear some of this.

BERT KREISCHER: Not blind stories. Stevie want to be FaceTime on everything.

JOE ROGAN: I love Stevie Wonder does FaceTime me. Come on, man. I can’t make this up.

BERT KREISCHER: Up. Come on.

JOE ROGAN: I was in there chilling with my, I was getting my hair done with my hairstyle, my phone, and my hairstylist.

BERT KREISCHER: Like, did that say Stevie Wonder? I said, yep.

JOE ROGAN: I went, boop.

BERT KREISCHER: And he was like, “I’ve been looking for you.”

JOE ROGAN: You know, Snoop Dogg said Stevie Wonder’s FaceTimes him. Yeah, all kinds. Me too.

BERT KREISCHER: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

JOE ROGAN: Think Stevie can see sometimes? What? Shaq said he rolled in the elevator with Stevie, and Stevie pressed the button. We lived in the same building on Wil. All right, I just need to describe this story. Park in front. You can park in front or you can park at the bottom. I’m already into the elevator. So you say Stevie got out his car. No, but he got on the elevator door. Okay. And I’m standing in the corner. I see him. I don’t want to say nothing. He like, “What up, Diesel?” button. And he got the floor. And I’m like, Shaq said he rolled in the elevator with him. He didn’t say that he was in there. He just seen Stevie. Like, they lived in the same building. They both walked in. And Shaq, because he didn’t want to say that. And Stevie said when Shaq walked out, “All right, later, Diesel.”

BERT KREISCHER: Crazy. Yeah, that’s cr. Well, what a, what a great move that would be if he really did it. I think he’s blind.

JOE ROGAN: No, here’s—

BERT KREISCHER: It’s the p. But “What up, Diesel?” First of all, the sound that he would make when he walks, like, the Shaq is huge. He’s an enormous person. So you’d probably realize there’s an enormous man next to you.

JOE ROGAN: You’d have to feel it, right?

BERT KREISCHER: He probably maybe wears the same deodorant or cologne because dudes who can’t see have amazing sense of smell. Like, they, people smell differently. Yeah, you know, like, certain people smell different. I guess I don’t notice it because—

JOE ROGAN: I could see him have his own deodorant.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, there you go.

JOE ROGAN: No, he has his own deodorant on it.

BERT KREISCHER: I think he probably smelled Shaq’s deodorant.

JOE ROGAN: I don’t know.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m just trying to be charitable.

The Legally Blind Theory

JOE ROGAN: This is how I think it happened, right? Stevie Wonder goes on, what, the Ed Sullivan show of five. And he’s probably hard. He probably can’t see. He probably doesn’t have 20/20 vision. He’s probably legally blind, right?

BERT KREISCHER: Legally blind.

JOE ROGAN: Legally blind. Like, he can see sht, but it’s not great vision. And they’re like, “You know, this is Lil Stevie.” And he’s like, “What’s wrong with his eyes? We can’t fing put his eyes out like that. Give him sunglasses.” And they just, and then the story got bigger than it was. I will say this. I will say this, okay? I got video of this. This just proves that he might be blind. Okay? Leanne’s at a concert the other night. This guy, Corey Henry’s, Stevie’s favorite pianist. Leanne loves Corey Henry. She goes to the concert. She’s sitting next to Stevie Wonder. And Stevie Wonder didn’t stand. The whole place was standing. And Leanne was like, “Why isn’t he standing?” I go, “Because you only stand to see. If you’re blind, you’re going to sit through the whole show. It’s no different to you.”

BERT KREISCHER: Right? Of course.

JOE ROGAN: So I was like, and then I have video of Stevie Wonder sitting. But it’s also convenience. Who the f* wants to stand for a show? I don’t. Helen Keller.

BERT KREISCHER: The Helen Keller one’s different.

JOE ROGAN: The Helen Keller ones, because there’s doctors—

The Helen Keller Debate

BERT KREISCHER: That have said, like, there’s was medical records at the time where people said she was responding to light. This is, that there’s, that’s not true. The Helen Keller thing. Archives from 1902 to 1924 do not contain examination reports showing Helen Keller had functional vision and hearing throughout a disabled life. And the conspiracy that Keller was a cash cow for Sullivan is debunked by the fact that Keller’s full life continued with another companion, Polly Thompson, who also interpreted for her. That doesn’t mean anything. That means that other person could be in on it as well. Yeah, that doesn’t mean anything. Also, this is a time in 1919. I mean, come on.

JOE ROGAN: How easy was a lion?

BERT KREISCHER: 1902 to 1924. I mean, you could get away with so much. So she supposedly flew a plane. This says—

JOE ROGAN: I told you, she—

BERT KREISCHER: Hold on. Yeah, this says it was from, like, a movie, and there’s no. Oh, the movie. She flew a plane in a movie. A silent film. Okay. She played herself flying a plane. They just thought people retarded back then. They’re like, “Show her flying a plane. She’s the best.”

JOE ROGAN: She started the universe.

BERT KREISCHER: Nothing can hold her back. Why is it holding you back? She can’t hear, she can’t see, and she could talk and write books. Like, wait, why? Okay, that is this one article, but I’ve read things that said that the people that were examining her said that she responded to sound and that she responded to light. Just because this one thing says it’s not true doesn’t mean that it’s not true.

JOE ROGAN: Well, then here’s the question.

BERT KREISCHER: It’s also, we don’t know. This is a hundred years ago. We really don’t know.

JOE ROGAN: How blind and deaf do you need to be before you say you’re not blind and deaf?

BERT KREISCHER: Right. Well, the thing is, like, can you not hear anything? Can you not see anything? That’s blind and that’s deaf. Anything else is like, I have poor hearing and poor sight.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, but that doesn’t sell a f*ing book.

BERT KREISCHER: Right, but that’s the problem. Like, maybe she could see a little. Maybe she just had bad vision and maybe she could talk a little. Because otherwise, how?

JOE ROGAN: I mean, so less impressive.

BERT KREISCHER: Explain to me how you’re going to write books. Explain to me how you’re going to grasp concepts and language and communication and interaction. Explain to me. I don’t get it. I’ve never met anybody since then. That’s been will do it. Can blind deaf people today write books and fly planes? I don’t know if she flew a plane. She’s just in the plane. That’s what it said.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, yeah. She’s in the front of this plane. And they usually fly.

BERT KREISCHER: I saw a blind guy on a plane once. I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t think he flew.

Almost Fighting a Blind Guy

JOE ROGAN: I almost got into a fight with a blind guy at the Austin airport.

BERT KREISCHER: For what?

JOE ROGAN: Right after I did the show. Last time I was here, it was a little high. I went to the airport a little drunk. He was fighting with his wife. And he grabbed her by the back of the arm to leave. And I thought he was just grabbing by the back of the arm like a d*ck. And I was like, “Hey.” And then he turned around, he had sunglasses on and a cane. And I realized that’s the only way he could get to the gate.

BERT KREISCHER: Look at Bert being a f*ing white knight.

JOE ROGAN: I know.

BERT KREISCHER: Stepping in, fighting blind guys.

JOE ROGAN: I fed that guy up. He didn’t. It’s so, easiest fight I’ve ever been in. The look on the black guy’s face at TSA when I couldn’t see that he was blind already. And he grabbed his wife’s arm, and I went, “Hey.” And the black guy went, “Oh,” like not knowing you’re talking sht to a blind guy.

BERT KREISCHER: You were drunk.

JOE ROGAN: I was. I was wasted.

BERT KREISCHER: So are there any people there, any good articles that say Helen Keller could see? No. I asked Perplexity. It said she was blind and deaf, caused by meningitis when she was 19 months old.

JOE ROGAN: Mmm.

BERT KREISCHER: Again. I wonder. I wonder if she could see a little bit. See a little and hear a little. Makes a lot more sense that you could write books. That’s what I just stumbled across. Something that’s, I don’t know how true it is. It just says that somewhere in the along the way, Stevie Wonder got some sort of corrective something or other to help. Well, so you can see a little bit. Perception issues or what? That means you could see. Stop lying to me, damn it. But he also, another thing says he’s got detached retinas.

JOE ROGAN: Wait, did you ever see that?

Helen Keller Conspiracy Theory

JOE ROGAN: Oh, interesting. So he has damaged vision, then. That sounds like damaged vision shortly after birth due to retinopathy of prematurity from being born prematurely. He’s addressed his rumors persistently about being able to see. It’s a blessing. Allow him to see people’s spirits, not their appearance.

So this is the Instagram thing that I saw initially on Helen Keller. I’ll send this to you. Yeah. You don’t believe that, but you believe that bullsh article that you just pulled up? No, I’m saying starting with social media isn’t the best. Listen, it’s the best place for information.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s where I get all my information.

JOE ROGAN: Everything’s accurate. You could start there. It’s all real. It’s all real.

BERT KREISCHER: Have you ever told someone? Yeah, I read a book about it. It was just an Instagram post. And they’re like a book. I think I saw the same post.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah. “Helen Keller was a fraud. Doctors proved she could see in here.” That’s her. Her teacher made millions from the law, said. Medical Board archive. Medical board archives from 1902 to 1924 allegedly contain examination reports suggesting Helen Keller retained partial vision and hearing throughout her life.

According to those claims, multiple physicians noted she reacted to sounds when Ann Sullivan was not present, tracked movement with her eyes, and physically flinched at loud noises. One sealed report is said to conclude, I don’t like that. Is said to conclude that her responses pointed to coordinated deception rather than true disability. Sullivan reportedly refused independent testing.

BERT KREISCHER: Aha.

JOE ROGAN: The theory argues that the situation became highly profitable. Sullivan allegedly discovered Keller at age 7, promoted a miraculous teaching breakthrough and toured the country, charging the modern equivalent of thousands per appearance.

Supporters of the claim say Keller’s autobiography noticeably changed tone when Sullivan became ill, suggesting Sullivan authored both voices. Financial records are said to show Sullivan controlled all income, keeping Keller financially dependent for life.

Linguistic and analytics cited by conspiracy supporters claim Keller’s writings mirrored Sullivan’s private letters exactly, matching vocabulary, sentence structure and even spelling mistakes. They argue that Keller wrote without Sullivan present that when Keller wrote without Sullivan present, the work appeared elementary, concluding that her eloquent public words came from Sullivan, not Keller.

According to the theory, disability organizations later built massive institutions around Keller’s story when evidence questioning her condition surface. It was allegedly suppressed due to rather protect a lucrative charity, an inspiration based industry that relied on a powerful.

BERT KREISCHER: Symbolic figure, Lance Armstrong.

JOE ROGAN: What do you mean?

BERT KREISCHER: This is like, this is the whole, like you build the whole thing and people start coming at you, right? It’s like this is the time when the Elephant Man was big, but Lance.

The Lance Armstrong Comparison

JOE ROGAN: Armstrong won those races. And the thing about the Lance Armstrong thing is, you know, you could say Lance Armstrong cheated and he’ll tell you he cheated, but the reality is everyone cheated. If you wanted to go back into the archives when he won Tour de France and figure out like, who didn’t test positive, you had to go to 18th place.

Yeah. So they took away all his jerseys, by the way. F you, he says, because he still has all those jerseys on the wall. B*. You can’t take them from me. You could say I didn’t win, but everybody knows I won. And everybody knows he won when all those other guys were doping too.

BERT KREISCHER: But I was saying they’re trying to protect of a lucrative, a lucrative profit. And that’s what didn’t happen with Lance. Like he, they, they just threw him under the bus.

JOE ROGAN: Well, he was also suing people who were saying that he took stuff. Yeah, because they were whistleblowers, because they went after them first. And said, listen, if you blow the whistle on Lance, we’ll get you off the hook. And so then he would sue them.

BERT KREISCHER: Be a better story if Helen was more like Lance. And they’re like, we got a tennis partner says, you play tennis with them. Helen, she’s like, I’m sue you. And they’re like, you’re talking pretty good. But this is around the time when the Elephant Man was big. So you’d grab onto something, right? You grab onto something like a sideshow, right? And you’d parade it around the country.

JOE ROGAN: That woman, who’s her handler, if that lady was responsible for all of her finances and had access to all that money and Sullivan, that makes sense.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s how I mixed up Anne Frank and Ann Sullivan. That’s how it came about.

JOE ROGAN: Nowhere to. There’s no link here. Shut up, Jamie. I just want to say, stop ruining everything. You’re right. There’s no link there. There’s not a single link to say. And people even ask, like, where are the links? And when you do some of this stuff. I like that one, though. I knew it.

BERT KREISCHER: I knew it. I’m with that guy, Christian Harvey.

JOE ROGAN: I’m with that guy. I’m with that guy.

BERT KREISCHER: I’ve been saying this for years.

JOE ROGAN: It just doesn’t make sense that she’d be able to write so eloquently.

Stevie Wonder Can See?

BERT KREISCHER: Did you ever see Kevin Hart and Dr. Dre talking about Stevie Wonder?

JOE ROGAN: No.

BERT KREISCHER: Pull this up. Kevin Hart, Dr. Dre. Because Dr. Dre is not. Meaning, like, he’s not. He never tries to be funny, right? He is so f*ing funny. On accident, on this clip, talking about Stevie.

JOE ROGAN: Wonderful.

BERT KREISCHER: Just Stevie Wonder, Dr. Dre, Kevin Hart.

JOE ROGAN: Album with Marsha Ambrosia, right?

BERT KREISCHER: And we did some music, a song using Stevie Wonder’s music.

JOE ROGAN: And he had to clear it. And he called me up, like, hey, okay.

BERT KREISCHER: For some reason, Stevie Wonder calls you.

JOE ROGAN: Like, super early in the morning. Like six, seven in the morning or some sh. I’m like, just. Cause you can’t see the time. The f*.

BERT KREISCHER: All right, so true story.

JOE ROGAN: I don’t like the lyrics. Lyrics. I don’t like the lyrics. Right?

BERT KREISCHER: Look at Kevin.

JOE ROGAN: Okay?

BERT KREISCHER: We went in and changed the lyrics. It’s like, what if we.

JOE ROGAN: It’s like, Jessica, Stevie, it’s 3:00am. What the f* is the difference?

BERT KREISCHER: Like 5am or 5pm is.

JOE ROGAN: True.

BERT KREISCHER: What’s the difference?

JOE ROGAN: That’s true.

BERT KREISCHER: That’s. Blind people have a really hard time.

JOE ROGAN: Sleeping, I imagine, because it’s dark all the time.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Their circadian rhythms all f*ed up. Right, Yeah. They feel sunlight in their face, though. If they go outside.

BERT KREISCHER: They have to.

JOE ROGAN: I do, yeah. It probably feels really good. Get that sun on your face. You’re blind. Like, ah. You just don’t feel the light. Just feel the warmth.

BERT KREISCHER: I bet you see it when you open your eyes a little bit, but you see something.

JOE ROGAN: Depends on your level of blindness, Right? Some people could just see light. Like, a little bit of light.

BERT KREISCHER: I would love that. They made, like, blind glasses. Like, this is what. This is how blind you have to be to be considered blind. And you could just put them on and be like, okay, that’s blind.

JOE ROGAN: Oh, like legally blind.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, yeah. Legally blind glasses that we could all put on. And then they’re like that. Be cool if they made, like, versions like, this is how blind Helen Keller was, and you put them on, you’re like, oh, I can f*ing see.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, we don’t know.

BERT KREISCHER: I guess there’s no way to find out.

JOE ROGAN: I’d like to believe that it was a fraud. I think that’s fun. I like to believe that people pull bullsh like Watergate. I like finding out.

BERT KREISCHER: I got to get rid of that book now. Yeah, that f*ing bums me out.

JOE ROGAN: Listen, will you watch the episode that I did with Bill Murray? He f*ing hated that book. He said after five pages, he was like, I knew it was bullsh.

Wrapping Up

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah.

JOE ROGAN: Bert. I love you to death, Joe.

BERT KREISCHER: I love you.

JOE ROGAN: Tell everybody about your show. It’s on Netflix right now.

BERT KREISCHER: Freebird streaming on Netflix right now. Check it out if you like it. Just enjoy it. Tell a friend.

JOE ROGAN: Boom. Boom.

BERT KREISCHER: 275 pounds in this.

JOE ROGAN: Damn. You look like you lost a lot of weight. How much you down to now?

BERT KREISCHER: 40 pounds. 35 pounds.

JOE ROGAN: 45 pounds.

BERT KREISCHER: I’m sorry.

JOE ROGAN: And you haven’t drank in how long?

BERT KREISCHER: Just 17 days.

JOE ROGAN: That’s good.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah. I got another. I have a timer set. 5 months and 18 days.

JOE ROGAN: So at 6 months you’re going to have a drink.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, well, I got a second opinion. You know that, Joe.

JOE ROGAN: Okay, I’ll see you in six months.

BERT KREISCHER: I’ll see you in six. I’ll see you by.

JOE ROGAN: I’ll see you before. Are you coming tonight? You going to be around tonight?

BERT KREISCHER: I’m trying to go spend time with Tom’s kids. Dinner.

JOE ROGAN: Okay.

BERT KREISCHER: Y. Beautiful. It’s good. Good luck getting Tommy on the phone these days.

JOE ROGAN: He’s a busy boy. Yeah, busy boy.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, we’re all busy, Tom.

JOE ROGAN: That dude’s busy, though. No, he’s kind of crazy busy.

BERT KREISCHER: Yeah, I own a vodka company with him.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, he opened up a restaurant.

BERT KREISCHER: We have a 5K. You couldn’t come run our 5K, Joe?

JOE ROGAN: No, LA.

BERT KREISCHER: No. Come on.

JOE ROGAN: I don’t go to LA.

BERT KREISCHER: When was the last time you were there?

JOE ROGAN: I guess it was like, I went there for the UFC seven months ago or something like that.

BERT KREISCHER: Okay.

JOE ROGAN: Yeah, I don’t go there anymore. I. LA, to me, is like, just a bad relationship like that you, like, you run into a girl that used to be cool, and now she’s just a mess, and you’re like, oh, you don’t.

BERT KREISCHER: Miss anything about it. Nope.

JOE ROGAN: I’m good at moving on.

BERT KREISCHER: Thanks for having me on, Joe.

JOE ROGAN: My pleasure, brother. I love you to death. All right, bye, everybody.

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