On Purpose: w/ Bridget Bahl – Choose Your Husband Like Your Life Depends On It (Transcript)

It takes that away from you. So all you really have is your mindset and your hope and your faith. And that’s all I ever really had.

JAY SHETTY: Exactly.

BRIDGET BAHL: Even before cancer, I just thought I was in control before, but now I know I’m not, unfortunately. I hope that answers the question.

Documenting the Battle: Sharing the Journey Publicly

JAY SHETTY: It does. It does. It’s such a — I want to take a moment to just acknowledge how inspiring I think you are because I’ve had many friends who’ve gone through the battle with cancer, and I know how hard that is, let alone having to document it and share it. And you did that. You brought everyone in your community on that journey with you. And I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is to go through what you’ve been through and document it and share it. And like you said, so many people have become inspired by it. So many people have become saved by it. So many people have become aware of what you go through and what others go through during this time.

I wanted to ask you that now. I saw you on Instagram — I was just talking to Mike right now — I saw on Instagram that I think you have 2 more treatments left. But he was saying one more now. He just told me the other day. One more treatment left. What does it feel like to be at this stage? As you said, you’re not years away from it yet. Talk to me about what goes through your mind right now.

Survivor’s Guilt and the Bell

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, right now I think I’m dealing with a little bit of grief. During — people would ask me, “Oh, you’re grieving your old life.” And like I said, I was too sick to think about all of that. You’re really so sick. And that was one thing I struggled a little bit with sharing because I really wanted to share it, especially after one person even wrote me back and was like, “You saved me. I would not have gone.” And then I was like, okay, this is my purpose in this. This is the only way I can understand it and make sense of it, that I can help someone else and I can keep someone else out of chemotherapy because I had a terrible time with chemotherapy.

I went in super positive, which was kind of funny because I was like, “I can do it. With God I can do all things.” And I did do it, but it wasn’t what I pictured the experience to be.

But I think right now I’m definitely starting to grieve because I’m starting to feel better and I’m starting to feel safe, and I’m starting to feel safe in my body. And I think there’s only so much I could tolerate at once. When you’re so sick, I don’t think my mind could really open all those doors at the same time.

Survivor’s guilt is such a big thing because I’m also grieving, but I’m only letting myself grieve for what, 15 seconds at a time? And I’m like, oh, I should just be so happy that I’m alive. So many people don’t live through this. I’m so lucky. But I’m trying to figure out those sorts of things, like the balance of honoring what I went through and honoring that that was hard and that’s okay. That was really hard. But also I lived. So I don’t know, I’m struggling a lot with that right now. The survivor’s guilt.

Because even when I went to ring the bell, I didn’t want to do it. You would think you would be so excited to go and ring the bell — and you can ring the bell at any time, you can ring it at the end of your chemo, at the end of your radiation. I just kept putting it off and putting it off because I think I wanted to ring it when I felt like, okay, I’m going to feel a little bit better after I ring it. So I waited and waited and waited, and then the day I was meant to do it, I told my husband Mike, “I am not, I don’t want to ring it. I don’t want to ring it.”

And the only thing that got me to ring it was — I was like, maybe it’s not about me. Maybe every time I would be at treatment and I would hear someone ring it, it would spark such a joy in me and I would be like, yes, so happy for that person. And so I was like, maybe that’s why I have to ring it today. Maybe it’s for someone else who’s here in this building who needs to hear this bell rung, and it’s not even about me.

Because to me, it felt like a lot of pressure to ring it because then everyone just expects you — I think people deep down just really wanted me to be better, and I wanted to be better, but I was like, if I ring it and then I don’t feel better, I’m going to be all mixed up. And that’s kind of a scary, weird thing and a weird place.

JAY SHETTY: Thank you for letting us into your mind right now and heart.

BRIDGET BAHL: And it’s a little mixed up, but that’s kind of how it goes.

Life Before the Diagnosis

JAY SHETTY: I mean, you’re very coherent in explaining it, so for what it’s worth, the way you’re sharing it is actually making a lot of sense and it’s really helpful, I think, because we don’t often get to talk to people in this very important moment. We talk to people, like you’ve rightly said, years after, and then it’s all memory, whereas right now it’s all real for you and you’re living through it. Talk to me about what your day-to-day looked like before the diagnosis. What was your day-to-day like?

Bridget’s Cancer Diagnosis and Journey

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, so before the C word, cancer, before being diagnosed with breast cancer, I was very much wrapped up in hustle culture. More is more — produce more, do more, have more success, find more success. Really just always pushing myself to be better and do better. And cancer will stop you right in your tracks and it says, “Nope, that’s not what we’re going to focus on anymore.”

When I found the lump, I was on my 6th round of IVF. So I got married when I was 40, which I guess is later in life. We live between Dallas and New York and it’s very late in Dallas and it’s sort of okay in New York. It’s kind of interesting, but we could have gotten married when I was like 38, 39 and we chose to do family planning. And there’s a big difference between the amount of eggs you can get when you’re 38 and when you’re 40.

So I was like, that’s really important to me. I have always believed, and I still believe, I will be a mom and Mike will be a dad. And so we were like, that’s really more important to us than like the party. So let’s do that and plan the wedding while we do that and then have that. So I did a bunch of rounds and then I got 2 embryos and then we got married and we had this beautiful, amazing wedding. I’m so into aesthetics. I love planning things. It was like a really joyful, fun, cool thing we did.

But I felt good going into the wedding because I’m like, “Okay, I have 2 embryos.” That’s what I’m believing and choosing to believe. So after we got married, I wanted to do like 1 or 2 more rounds because there really just is such a big difference. I don’t want to give the numbers because I’m not a doctor, but between these ages — it’s 35 and up, but when you start hitting 38, 39, it’s a significant difference. Like it’s huge, the amount.

We do another round of IVF. During that round of IVF is when I noticed a lump. It’s really crazy because when I found it — and I’m a petite person — it was bigger than the size of a golf ball. And I wasn’t sure that I even could feel it because, you know, I grew up with a single mom and I remember in our shower she had this little thing on the shower wall. It was like these hand sketches of how to do a self-breast exam. So I was doing it. You never really knew, or I really knew if I was doing it right or whatnot. But I felt something.

I live with a doctor, so I’m like, “Hey, feel this. What do you feel?” And he’s like, “Oh, I’m not sure either.” It was bigger than a golf ball, but it was so far deep back, deep in me, and I have dense breast tissue. It makes it harder to feel for lumps. And I had always read that it would feel like a hard marble, and it can feel like a hard marble, but mine did not. You couldn’t tell for sure if there was something or not.

In my mind, of course, every woman would think, “Oh my gosh, is it breast cancer?” But I grew up in a pretty big family. My mom has 5 sisters, my dad had 3, both of their mothers — no one has breast cancer, no one had cancer at all, and I don’t have the BRCA gene. So it wasn’t super high on my radar that this is cancer. And it’s very easy to just be like, “I’m sure it’s not. I’m sure it’s the IVF medications. I’m sure it’s a cyst.”

I felt something and it was on my mind and I knew I was going to see my fertility doctor the next week. So we go in and I tell him and he’s like, “Okay, you have to go in for a mammogram.” I’m seeing this like every week. And I was like, “Oh, okay.” I was kind of like, “I’m sure it’s fine, but of course I’ll go.” So I go in for my mammogram the next week.

While I did my mammogram, I could start to kind of feel like something was going on. They could feel it and they were looking at it. And then they asked me that day, “Will you stay for your biopsy?” Which is odd, you know? And I was like, “Okay, something’s wrong.” I could kind of just feel something was wrong.

So I stayed for the biopsy. I’ve been blessed with angels this whole time. I’ve had a lot of angels come into my life and just really helped me. It was just the sweetest radiologist ever. She was talking to me all about her wedding. She’s like, “I went on your Instagram, it was so beautiful.” She was trying to distract me, I could tell. She was really trying to comfort me.

And all of a sudden I just looked up at her and I was like, “Am I going to die?” And she said, “I think you’re going to need some chemotherapy,” because she could tell I had swollen lymph nodes, which means it had likely traveled. She couldn’t tell for sure — she was biopsying my lymph nodes and my breasts.

So my first question to her was, “Am I going to die?” And my second question, very shortly after, was, “Is all of my hair going to fall out?” Which is kind of interesting — “Am I going to die?” and “Is all my hair going to fall out?” back to back. I think that says a lot about women and our identity and just where I was in my life.

I had this beautiful wedding and I have this wonderful husband and now I have breast cancer and I was family planning. It was never like this perfect situation. I was open about doing IVF on Instagram because to me it’s like, I don’t know how I could not talk about that. It’s very consuming and I wanted to be upfront about it. And then now I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I have breast cancer.” Like, what?

JAY SHETTY: No, no, no, no, no, you’re doing amazing. Don’t stress at all. Thank you again for giving the amount of detail. I feel like I’m living it with you and it’s helpful because I think, like you said, there are so many women who feel something and aren’t sure and let it go. A lot of us are positive about things and we want things to just be good and think it probably won’t happen to us. And then all of a sudden you realize.

I remember seeing you posted this on Instagram — and I’m bringing it up because we’ll put it up in the edit — you posted where you FaceTimed Mike to tell him about this. You posted, “Our husband’s reaction to finding out I have breast cancer.” After the first two questions you asked, what was the first thought that went through your head? And was Mike the first person that you called as well?

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah. I was texting him the whole time I was there. It was actually really interesting. You could see our wedding venue from the room they had me wait in and I was just like, “What’s going on? This isn’t how it was supposed to be.” And I was just spinning. I don’t really even remember that much of that day.

One of my thoughts soon after was, “I’m so glad it’s me and it’s not my mom and it’s not Mike,” because at least I could do it. At least I had to go through it and be strong. I would have found that so much worse — I would have rather been the one going through it. I don’t know, I could do it.

JAY SHETTY: Wow.

Faith, Rock Bottom, and Finding God

BRIDGET BAHL: I mean, I didn’t want to do it, but you kind of don’t have a choice, right? So it’s like, what are you going to do?

I got saved like 10 years ago. I grew up Catholic school, checked all the boxes, did all the sacraments, but I was just sort of checking boxes. Now I’m in constant communication with God. Like, he is sick of me. He’s like, “This girl, oh my gosh.” It’s like downloading, texting all day. He’s probably leaving me on read. Like, “We got it.” It’s just a lot.

I feel like I have that relationship and that’s what changed for me. I went through a phase in my life where I felt like I really hit rock bottom and I just went to God in a really sincere moment and was like, “Okay, my way doesn’t work. I’m finally ready to admit that. I want to try it your way.” And it was just this sweet little moment of surrender.

I was living at home with my mom in Pittsburgh. I had had this life where I grew up with a single mom. I watched her struggle my whole life. My dad left when I was 4. I watched her struggle with money and things, and I was just hell-bent on, “I am not going to live that way. I am going to move to New York City” — I had never been to New York City — “and make it. I’m going to work in fashion, and that’s what’s going to happen.”

And I went with $200, didn’t know a soul, kind of didn’t like it when I got there, but I had said so many times I was living there, I had to stay. I couldn’t even get a bank account. I remember like, “Why won’t you take my money?” They’re like, “You don’t have any. You’re at risk. You’re a liability. We don’t want you.” And I was like, “Wow, I can’t even get a bank account.” I just worked and worked and worked and outworked everyone and just kind of got where I wanted to be.

I got really immersed in that world and in fashion. I had a wonderful boyfriend at the time. I was living in this wonderful apartment, really nice. It was his, not mine. He was great. It was just — I wasn’t great. I remember I had this moment of like, “I’ve gotten everything I set out to get. I’m living in this apartment, I’m wearing this YSL outfit, I’m a publicist at Saint Laurent,” and I felt completely empty. And why? I got everything I wanted and it was such a —

JAY SHETTY: What was it? What was the answer?

BRIDGET BAHL: I think there’s just a hole in everyone’s heart and I think God fills it. And I think I had to really lose all of those things. I was broke, I had no job, nothing, no boyfriend, no leads on a job, no apartment. Moved back to Pittsburgh. I was like, “Okay, God, I’ve got nothing left. I’m at rock bottom.” And he just really met me where I was at.

I just filled it all in with God. I was reading the Bible and I just started to believe all of the things God says about me. Like, “What does God think of me?” And since my dad left, I think I was always missing that father figure. And I’m like, “I have that. I actually have that. I am wonderfully created by God.” And I just felt like this heart of stone I had was just really softened. I just became a little bit softer.

And I’m not perfect. I screw up all day, every day — hence the texting all day. We’re all sinners. But I do think deep down I really try to do better all of the time.

So when this whole thing happened with breast cancer, a lot of people have asked me, “Was your faith tested when you had this? When this happened to you, you just had this wedding and you were hopeful for a baby, and you were already kind of struggling to get the IVF thing going.” And I was like, “I’ve just lived — I’ve tried to do it without God, and I’ve done it with God.” I think the storm’s coming either way. This is my cross to bear, but you have yours and everyone’s going through something, right? So I feel like I was just like, “I’m choosing to do it with him because that’s just a better way for me.”

The Reality of Chemotherapy and Finding Purpose

JAY SHETTY: Was there no thought in your head at the time which was like, why me? Like, you know, I’ve finally got married, like things are looking good, like I’m settled. I feel like the natural reaction for a lot of people would just be like, God, why now? Why me? And you’re going through IVF, you know, there are lots of other things happening in your life. Did that thought ever come up or were you too strong to let it come up?

BRIDGET BAHL: No, I mean, it definitely came up. I think, okay, so I also have a fashion company and I had been in fight or flight mode for quite some time because we were doing a buyout. So I had a partner and a buyout, you know, is not a fun thing. It’s a little taxing. It’s a hard situation to go through.

And I kept saying to God during that process, like, “If it’s not meant for me and you don’t want me to have this company, please just take the company. I don’t want it if you don’t want me to have it.” And I prayed that so many times that I’m pretty sure he wanted me to have it. I had bought the company and I got diagnosed 2 weeks later.

And then there was a day where I went to my oncologist and in one sentence she had said to me, “You’re going to lose all your hair, you’re going to lose your eyebrows, you’re going to lose your eyelashes. And you’re not going to be able to carry a baby.” And in that moment I felt like, wow, this is not fair. At least the baby part was really hard for me because, yeah, that was hard.

And I felt really sad for Mike too, not even just for me, because I’m like, that stinks. You know, we’re one year into marriage and he’s always wanted to be a dad and that’s super important to him and he’ll be the best dad and he should get to be a dad. And I feel like he will get to be a dad.

But I think in that moment, yeah, you definitely have those thoughts, but you’re also so scared that you’re just like, yeah, that’s unfair. But I also am like, am I going to die? So you’re weighing a lot of things, and perspective changes really quick when cancer enters the conversation.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. What kind of shifted for you as time went on after the diagnosis, leading up to your first chemotherapy session and getting ready for that? Like, what was going through your mind as you got ready and prepared?

Reframing Chemotherapy

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, so I had kind of a bit of time because my cancer was hormone negative. I was able to do one more round of IVF. So I did the round of IVF and I was just the whole time thinking about, I’m starting chemotherapy, like what’s going to happen? This is crazy.

Walking into your first chemo, I personally felt physically amazing, super healthy. I went to Pilates the day before. There are a lot of things you have to do. It felt a little bit like a ritual or something. You have to get your nails taken off, you have to get your hair extensions taken out. You’re kind of like removing all these things. But I was like, I’m going to go to Pilates and work out. I felt great.

And then, you know, you’re actively walking in there and you’re putting something in your body that’s going to make you very sick, potentially very sick. For me, it made me very, very sick. And to know that in order to survive, I have to do that. And I have to be like, okay, here we go. Put it in me, you know? And I think that was strange and a bit weird.

But a friend of mine, Jill Martin, taught me very early on. She said to me, “You have to reframe the way you think about chemotherapy. You cannot think of chemotherapy as something that’s making you sick. You have to think of chemotherapy as something that’s saving your life.” And that’s been a huge shift throughout the whole thing for me.

Everything I used to complain about — having to go get my nails done, having to go to my hair appointment — I think when you go through something like this, I’m like, I cannot wait to go get my hair done. I mean, this is a wig, but so I kind of got it done. But my own hair — I cannot wait for that.

And everything became like, “I got to come here today.” You know, I don’t have to, I get to do things rather than I have to do things. And I think that is like a life shift. I was like, okay, I had to go get my nails done — that’s a privilege. And like, what a brat.

JAY SHETTY: I think you’re being hard on yourself. I think we all get into a space of familiarity and ingratitude and you take things for granted. And I think all of us do that as humans. I don’t think it’s just you. Everyone has their version of a hair or nail appointment or something in their life that they’re like, God.

BRIDGET BAHL: Awesome though about the nail, because you’re like, it’s such torture. I can’t be on my phone. I’m like, guys, we’re okay. We’re okay.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah, but I think hearing you say that really does put it into perspective. As you said that to me just now, I was thinking about all the things I take for granted, all the things I say, “Oh God, I got to do this, I got to do that.” And it’s like, I have the ability to do it healthy and well. And that is something that you can’t underestimate. Hearing about it through your perspective and how that shifted for you — I think that’s a huge one.

Learning to Stop Being Hard on Ourselves

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, it was a huge thing for me. And I also think I was so hard on myself before. I’m scrolling back through my phone and you know how it pops up like a year ago or 2 years ago — I always thought my hair was so thin and I remember I was always talking about that and trying to fix that. And it’s okay to want to fix it and improve. I cannot wait for my thin hair to come back. I literally cannot wait.

So it’s just like, I just think we’re all so hard on ourselves. Just know that — I mean, I’m still learning too, but as I sit here with the big wig on, I got to wear a wig today. I’m kind of pumped. Like, we’re really picking on ourselves a lot. I want to somehow be able to teach girls that or give them that perspective. I don’t know how, but I’ve felt that — we’re so hard on ourselves.

JAY SHETTY: It’s almost like you’d wish you could teach humans to do that without going through pain, because the pain is so intense and excruciating and terrible. But it’s almost like that’s a gift that you’ve developed by going through that. I don’t know if all of us can learn that without sadly going through something so difficult. Yeah, it’s a lot.

The Grueling Reality of Treatment

BRIDGET BAHL: It’s hard. Yeah, it’s hard. Because you go from — I mean, you get so sick, and that’s something else I struggled with a lot. When you’re so, so sick, you are not even picking up the phone. You can’t film it. I wasn’t hiding it, but I was so sick. There you are on the bathroom floor. Mike made me a nice little bed on the bathroom floor. He would come and lay in there with me sometimes, but it was just like, you can’t sit up. You’re bleeding from every thing you can bleed from. Every day, it’s like every part of your body.

I didn’t know anyone was sitting at their house that sick. I pictured I would get sick, but I did not picture — and everybody does handle it differently. I don’t know that everyone gets this sick. My oncologist did say to me at one point, “Some people tolerate it well and some people don’t, and then there’s you.” So I think I had a bad go at it.

But I struggled with showing it a lot, because I definitely wanted to show more, but I also didn’t want people to pity me, and I didn’t want it to seem performative. But then I was like, I also want to honor the people who are going through this. Like, what if someone’s watching this and one of their employees has someone going through this and they just don’t know that that person might be really, really trying?

And there’s a lot to it. They put you in medically induced menopause and you’re like a hormonal teenage girl, and I’m crying to Mike about anything you could ever imagine. You’re not even yourself. How can you expect people to understand that? How can I lead a team during all of that and not be mad at myself? You’re just — it’s so much and I don’t really know how to explain it.

I don’t know that there’s a right way. I tried to share, but if I’m being totally honest, I would say I erred on the side of showing less because it’s gruesome. It’s gruesome, like horrific things. It can do things to your body and you can’t sit up, you can’t walk.

We had a launch for my brand one day and I crawled to the computer to get it to work. I was like, this is just the most humbling thing.

I cried once — I remember during football season, Mike was watching a football game and I was so hungry, but there was just such a price to pay. I had a lot of GI issues and there was such a price to pay if I ate that I was starving. And I’m not good at starving. I like to eat. And I was just crying, watching these commercials, like, I just want to eat.

I ordered food once and would chew it and spit it out because I just wanted to eat so badly. But there was a price to pay. It was coming out both ways. Everything you could imagine — everything is inflamed and congested. And it’s not just like you’re throwing up, you’re in major pain. My teeth have completely rotted from all of this — just things you don’t want to show.

I wouldn’t be mad if someone showed that. I hope someone does, but I didn’t want people to pity me, so I didn’t know exactly what to do with it. I just went day by day and did what I could.

I pushed Mike to remind me to post and he was like, “Sweetheart, just don’t.” But I was like, “But the only purpose I feel in this is when people write me and they say, ‘I went in, I got checked, I’m not going to have to do chemo, Bridget.'” And I was like, okay, there’s something in this.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. That’s helping so many people. Even you talking about it here right now, I’m sure there are so many people who will go and self-exam. Self-exams — do your exams.

The Importance of Self-Exams and Early Detection

BRIDGET BAHL: Please, please. I’m like begging people. Please do it. Because before I went in to see my oncologist, I was like, I need to have her do a self-exam on me. I need to just figure this out. And this was the night before my appointment. She’s a very proper, amazing oncologist. I want her to do a breast exam on me and I want to film it. And I’m like, but I’ll be flagged for my nipples being out on Instagram, right? So I’m like, Amazon Prime, what can I get? And I’m looking up pasties that you wear to like a rave. I could only find this red glittery one.

She walks in the next day, I’m like, “Can you teach us all how to do a self-exam and can I film it?” And she’s like, “What is that?” I literally had disco glitter pasties on and she’s super serious. But it got sent to like 70,000 people. And people were like, “I’ve never known if I was doing this right.” And she can explain it better than anyone else, right? And now I feel like even watching that, I know how to do one.

I think if anyone takes anything from this, if you’re listening to this and you’re hearing this, just right now, let’s have a feel. Let’s tonight do our self-exam. And what you’re looking for — you have to know your body, know your baseline, and you’re looking for a change. Any change, and then you get checked. And you don’t let yourself put it off, put it off, put it off because it’s scary. That’s what people tend to do, but there is no instance with this where finding out sooner is a bad thing. It can definitely keep you out of chemotherapy. It can keep you at a lower stage. It’s so important. So go in, get checked, and just watch my video that I made and see me in my disco rave party outfit.

JAY SHETTY: What does beauty mean to you today?

BRIDGET BAHL: I’ve always enjoyed fashion and makeup and all of this, and I think that’s great. I think that’s fine. But I think I really want to lead with my heart and really make people feel a certain way that will maybe inspire them to search for if something’s missing in their life or a little hole in their heart. And that would be something I found really beautiful.

And another thing I thought of — I saw a girl who looked sick, she’s going through cancer, on the internet the other day, and I’m like, there’s nothing not beautiful about her. No one feels like that about her. So I think just being in it really changed it. No one was looking at me going, “She looks so bad.” I mean, they might have been scared — she looks very sick, I’m alarmed. But no one was saying, “Oh, she’s so ugly.” It’s different. I think we’re just, again, our own worst critics and so hard on ourselves.

What to Say — and What Not to Say — to Someone with Cancer

JAY SHETTY: Thank you. Well said. I wanted to ask you two questions. What’s the most helpful thing someone can say to someone who’s got cancer, and what’s the most unhelpful thing people can say to someone who’s got cancer?

BRIDGET BAHL: That’s a good question.

JAY SHETTY: Because I think a lot of people just don’t know what to say.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah. I feel like you just don’t ever want to be dismissive of what they’re going through. But I think something that’s been really nice and really sweet is people who continue to check in on me, even when I didn’t have the time to write people back. I swear, when people would reach out to me, it would be in the exact second I needed it. It would be like, “Wow.” And it would be someone I knew from years ago and they would be like, “Oh, I’m just reaching out.” I felt bad because I didn’t write back to everyone. But you don’t know what an impact you can have on someone’s day.

I have made a conscious effort now — when I think of people, I make sure I text them that day. I don’t care if they write me back or not. That’s one thing I really learned. Just keep reaching out. Just keep going. I just reach out to people whenever they pop into my head now: “I’m praying for you, love you.” You don’t know what someone else is going through. I do feel like we’re all connected and it’s beautiful.

Just keep loving on them. Even at points where people are mad and upset and they might not want to reply, they’re never going to be mad that you reached out. So do it, but don’t expect anything back from it. I felt so carried in love and prayer the whole time, and I felt a little spoiled sometimes. I’m like, “This is so nice.” And I want to hopefully give some of that back to people, somehow, some way. If you think of anything, Jay, let me know.

JAY SHETTY: I think this is giving back.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh, okay.

JAY SHETTY: I think this is giving back. You showing up online every day, sharing your story — that is the best give back for everyone who checked in with you, because you’re hopefully helping someone they know or someone they love from not going through the same thing, or catching it early and not having to experience the hardships of it that you did.

I’ve had a couple of friends in the last 12 to 24 months who’ve also been going through cancer, and I’ve found when I talk to them, one of the biggest things they say to me is, “People don’t know what to say. People kind of distance themselves. People think I just need space. But actually it’d be really nice if they checked in.” And it’s what you just said — no one’s ever going to be mad if you check in, even if they don’t have the capacity or capability to respond back, or call you back or message back. It’s always going to mean something to that person.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yes, it meant so much to me. I always think of my mom — growing up with a single mom and seeing her struggle. It’s not lost on me that I went through this with complete privilege of having help, having someone who cared about me to help me. Not everyone has that. So I think if there’s anything you can do — if someone has kids, anything you could do to help them do their laundry, any grocery store run or something for them — it’s really deeply meaningful. It’s really hard. And I don’t think people always feel comfortable showing how hard it is because it’s a bit embarrassing. You want to try and be — or I wanted to be anyway — like, “I’m okay.” But it’s like, no, you’re not.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. Which is not true.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

Choose Your Husband Like Your Life Depends On It

JAY SHETTY: We do it anyway. We do it even when we don’t have cancer, right? We all act like we don’t need help and we’ve got it all together and we’re okay. And so when you have something that you’re worried about and concerned about — you talked about Mike. I think what I find so beautiful is watching you both together and what you did share from the journey, just how engaged and present Mike was throughout the whole journey.

I always find it fascinating because of course on our wedding days, we all make this commitment of “in sickness and in health.” We’ve all heard hundreds of people say it. We’ve seen it in movies. You hear this statement again and again, and then people are actually sick. And then you actually go through that. Talk to us about the realities of what it took. I think Mike also went down to cut days at work to be there to support. But I’m sure it’s not easy for you either, because you’re going through this very vulnerable thing with your partner. Talk to me about the realities of what it feels like to go through cancer even with someone you love and that loves you deeply.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, it was hard for me at first, because I had grown up always being really independent and wanting that for myself. And I think God was like, “No, you’re going to learn to trust a man and you’re going to have to lean on him, and it is what it is.” And I found that really hard.

I mean, straight out of the gate — this is one year into marriage — I’m like, “Sickness and health, go buddy. Let’s see what you got.” And he really put himself second. I came up with this whole idea: “Choose your husband like your life depends on it,” because I can’t imagine what I would’ve done without him. He’s a plastic surgeon and he has been training for this moment for 17 years. So you get to this moment, you open your business, you pass your boards, and now it’s like, “Oh, please step away from your business and learn how to do a fashion company because she just bought it, has debt, and now owns the full company.” So it’s a lot to put on someone.

I think chaos reveals character, right? And one thing I did before I met Mike was I made this husband list. I used to talk about it on TikTok or Instagram a long time ago. It’s not like, “Oh, abs and a corner office and status and all this stuff.” It’s much more character-driven. Like, does he love his mom? How does he make people feel? What does he leave in the room? Does he have any friends? Does he care about people? Because at the end of the day, life is going to get hard and those are the things that are going to matter.

On our first date, I remember Mike telling me his parents have been married for 40 years. His grandparents were married for 70 years. I was like, “Oh, he’s hitting these things on this list I wrote.” But the list is —

JAY SHETTY: He told us about what was on the list.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah. It was like, does he love his mom? What do people say about him? Do people like him? That was a big one on my list. I was like, “I really want everyone to love him and just think he’s great.” If someone wouldn’t like Mike, that’s kind of odd. He’s a really good human. He’s just a great person. I want to be like Mike.

Does he have something he’s passionate about? Is there something he loves? Do we align on our values and our faith? And not letting anything go off the list. Not seeing potential in people — “Oh, can I change this in this person? I’m so attracted to them.”

My date with Mike — when I walked in, that was the first time I think I walked into a room thinking, “Do I like this guy?” And it wasn’t, “Does he like me?” I was really grounded in the sense of, “I know who I am in Christ. I know God loves me. I know who I am, and I know what I think I need.” And if I give this to God, I’m believing that he’s going to find this guy for me, rather than me trying to make all of these exceptions to these rules and make it work with these other people that it’s not working with.

Looking back, I’m like, “Wow, God really sees your whole story beginning to end.” He even knew I needed a doctor when we first started dating. With Mike, it was always easy — everything — to the extent that I was like, “Am I not interested in this?”

JAY SHETTY: It was so peaceful that it felt unfamiliar.

When Clarity Feels Confusing: Recognizing the Right Person

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, like I was sort of like, maybe he should be my friend. Like, I don’t feel this because I wasn’t like waiting for him to text me and all of this. He was just texting me, he was just pursuing me actively, and I didn’t really know what to make of that. There were no games, so I almost got confused by that.

And so thank God I had that list because I’m like, he’s not breaking anything on the list. What I did was I took counsel. I asked married people. I’m like, “There’s this guy, he’s this really hot dogger,” which also, I didn’t want to go out with him for 6 months. I did not want to go out with him because I was like, he looks like a model and I want to be the pretty one. But I got over it. Yeah. And he wore jeggings. I remember I was just looking for problems, but none of the photos on his Instagram were just of him, which I was like, that’s a good thing. That’s a good thing. Because even though that wasn’t on the list, that says a lot about you — you care about people. You’re with your mom, your brother, you have some friends. Those are great things. Those are telling things.

And so yeah, but I did get a little bit worried at some points, asking my married friends, being like, “I don’t know, guys, he’s always writing me back and he wants to hang out every day. It’s a little weird.” And they were like, “And he has a job and he likes his mom, he’s a good person, what’s the problem?” You know? But what do you think that is? Like, why are we all doing that? We don’t have a history of peaceful, clear contact.

JAY SHETTY: And therefore, when someone finally does that, you kind of get spooked.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: And you’re like, “What’s going on here? You’re not meant to do this. You’re meant to make me feel nervous and anxious and all the other emotions that aren’t healthy and helpful,” or in that moment at least.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: And so I think we’re all looking for that kind of racy feeling.

BRIDGET BAHL: Like the butterfly.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah.

BRIDGET BAHL: I felt like I liked him, but I didn’t have this sinking pit in my stomach at all times.

JAY SHETTY: I mean, there’s a study that shows that what we feel when we say “the butterflies” is you’re feeling excitement and stress at the same time. But when someone messages you back, you only feel excitement and clarity. So you don’t get the stress, but it’s the excitement and stress together that creates that nervousness.

But when someone actually is just, as Mike was, messaging back and pursuing you and being really clear about it, we’re like, “Oh wait a minute, I don’t feel the stress.” And the stress is what makes things exciting. But we know that’s not true because, hey, when you actually marry someone or you are in a long-term relationship with someone, you don’t want someone that causes you stress. You don’t want to come home to a stressful person. You don’t want to wake up to a stressful person. That’s not what you’re looking for.

BRIDGET BAHL: Imagine the guy not calling me back when I was going through my chemotherapy. I made one video and I was like, “The guy who is not texting you back is not the guy with you in the middle of the night in the emergency room.” I had my big faux fur on and he’s just sitting there like, “What can I do to help?” And it’s like, what are we doing? What was I doing?

How They Met: The Old-Fashioned Way

JAY SHETTY: How did you two meet before that first date?

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, the old-fashioned way. We met through friends. My one friend, she’s an influencer and her husband’s a plastic surgeon, and they were in the same residency at NYU. And she kept telling me to go out with him, and I would just be complaining about these guys I was dating. I would just be like, “Oh, should I text him back?” And all this plotting and all this stuff. And she’s like, “I really think you should text Mike.” And I’m like, “Eh, he looks like a model.” And she was like, “But just take that out of it. What is the problem?” And I was like, “I don’t know. He’s not my type.” And she’s like, “You’re not married. You don’t have a type. You have a lot of people that aren’t your type that you’ve dated.”

On Feeling Behind and Trusting the Timeline

JAY SHETTY: Talk to me about that idea — so many women feel if I’m not married by 30, if I don’t have kids by 35. You got married when you were 40, and life will continue from this point onward. Did you never feel behind, or didn’t allow yourself to feel behind?

BRIDGET BAHL: Well, I did. I felt behind. Yeah, I felt behind. But I was so consumed with work. That was a big thing for me because I think just growing up with a mom who struggled, it was the number one thing. And until I felt like I got myself to a point where I was financially independent or in a good place, I wasn’t as focused on it. But then, yeah, I was like, “Oh no, I want to have babies.”

So it was okay that I had to be laying in bed for a year. I’ve been out for a lot of years. That was kind of when my platform was built by accident, I guess, before cancer happened. It was a lot of girls who would come up to Mike and I in New York City mainly, and they would say, “Oh my gosh, you guys give me so much hope. I’m 32 and I haven’t met anyone.” And I met Mike when I was 35. So I think I leaned into that a little bit and thought about it, and I think it was just like believing in God’s plan for my life and not trying to do things my way.

That being said, I do think I would have saved myself a lot of tears and a lot of years if I had written the husband list before and not got so caught up in the games and the butterflies and all of that.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. What would you say to someone who says to you, “I feel behind at 35 because I haven’t got married yet”?

BRIDGET BAHL: Have you written your husband list and what’s on it? And who are you dating? And what are you scared to let go of? Because I do think that there has to be a moment of kind of like, “Okay God, I’m going to do this your way. I’m not going to keep doing this my way.”

The Husband List: It’s Not What You Think

JAY SHETTY: What I like about your list is it’s not a list the way I think people think about a list. So I think when people hear the words “husband list,” they think like 6 feet tall, this job, status. I think a lot of people write those things, and even if it’s not a lot of people, I know a lot of people who’ve said those things to me where it’s all about what kind of job they have. So doctor would be high up there, right? Or finance — or not finance. People also say, “I would never marry someone in finance.”

And I’m like, I don’t think that affects whether someone’s a good partner or not. I always think about your career — it doesn’t really say much about how you are as a partner. Your bank balance doesn’t say what you’re like as a partner. Your height doesn’t say anything about what you’re going to be like as a partner. And I think it’s funny when you measure someone as a partner on these things that have nothing to do with them being a partner.

BRIDGET BAHL: Right.

JAY SHETTY: So I think even though I never had a formal list, when I met Radhi too, I was looking for how someone lit up a room. And how someone was with me in different circumstances, in different scenarios. How was I treated around different people? How did I feel when I shared a new idea or thought about something new?

And then as we got married and moved forward, even then, we went through more challenges after we got married because we moved country, we moved jobs, we moved home. And when you go through all that together — I mean, what you’ve been through is far harder and far greater than all of those things — but when you go through difficult things, you figure out what someone’s really made of and what their response is.

I remember being 4 months away from being broke when we were married, around maybe 6 months into our marriage, or maybe just coming up to a year into our marriage. And I told her the situation we were in, and she was like, “I trust you.” And that to me was the person I married and the character of the person I married — not someone who is not there for me at that time.

So I think for me, I knew Radhi was the one when I met her because she was always nice and kind to everyone that we met, whether they could help her or not. She lit up every room she walked into. She was always bubbly and fun and had good energy and ideas. I didn’t feel like she played any games. We both didn’t play any games with each other. I was really sure about who I was when I met her, and that didn’t scare her and didn’t intimidate her or make her feel any other way. And she was still learning and curious about who she was. And I love that about her.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: So I think to me, it was more about—

BRIDGET BAHL: You had a list, though.

JAY SHETTY: I did. That’s what I’m agreeing with. I’m saying it wasn’t written.

BRIDGET BAHL: Like written down.

JAY SHETTY: Exactly. Exactly. But it was there. And I could sense it when I was around her. And I think you need to be clear about those things. But I think the problem now is people get clear about stuff, but not the right stuff. You get clear about a bunch of stuff that doesn’t make any difference — like someone’s height, or your ick that they wear jewelry, or the fact that they don’t dress well or whatever it is. That stuff doesn’t impact whether someone’s going to show up for you when you’re broke, when you’re lost, when you’re confused, when you have cancer. That’s not going to be the differentiator.

BRIDGET BAHL: So yeah, and it’s a cool one that you said too — that you were very sure of who you were when you met her and that didn’t intimidate her. That’s one thing I haven’t really thought of. And how attractive that must be to someone. But I didn’t even really think of it like that. Yeah, that didn’t intimidate him. He pushed into that and leaned into that and was like, “That’s cool.” And it is cool.

What Love Really Looks Like

JAY SHETTY: It is. And I mean, I think Mike’s just set such an incredible example for all partners truly, just by observing both of you together — of what it takes and what love really means. I think we talk a lot about what love means and how do you show it and what that looks like. And I think both of you together represent that in the most beautiful way. I’m so happy that you’ve been a big part of sharing that with us. I also think it has made every partner go, “I need to step up,” in a good way, in a good way.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh yeah, I worry about that too because I’m like, I don’t want people to think we’re bragging, but it’s like, we’re not. We’re literally—

JAY SHETTY: Well, it’s hard. There’s no bragging because it’s hard work.

BRIDGET BAHL: He went to Sephora once because when all my hair really started shedding badly and I had lost so much weight — I was 84 pounds, I was having a lot of issues with eating — he was like, “I want to do your makeup for you. I want to do something for you.” It was so funny because it was bad. And he had not a clue. Thank God he’s so much better at surgery than makeup.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. I’ve seen him do your nails and plenty of nails. Yeah.

BRIDGET BAHL: He’s kind of good at nails.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah.

BRIDGET BAHL: He’s a little good at the nails. Yeah, not the makeup so much, but yeah, it was a little confusing.

Finding Strength Through Treatment

JAY SHETTY: And even I saw you dressing up during treatment too. Yeah, that was the way you were, I think, finding joy.

BRIDGET BAHL: I was pushing myself. It was later in my treatment, I started dressing up for chemo because I saw this older woman there once, and she was just fierce. She had on heels and this outfit. I was like, I love her. And I was like, is she here for treatment? And they were like, yes, she always dresses up. And they said, she rings the bell every time when she leaves. Goals. I love her. So then the next week I was like trying to dress up and be just like her. Because I was like, wow, maybe I can inspire people. Maybe they’ll see me dressed up and then they’ll want to dress up. It really, I was like, wow, when I saw her.

JAY SHETTY: How did you dig to find the strength at that time? Like talk to me about that. You just said you’re just trying to get up, you’re just trying to get to treatment. You just, you gotta deal with being on the bathroom floor and bleeding. How do you in that moment even find the strength?

BRIDGET BAHL: I don’t know. I do think you’re stronger than you think. I am kind of glad, like ignorance was bliss. I don’t know how I would’ve gone that first day and let them put chemo in me if I had known what was going to happen. I really don’t. It was hard.

And then later in my treatment when I was doing radiation, I had to do 15 rounds of radiation and I was like, okay. I really want to dress up every day. I’m not going to say I’m going to do my hair, I’m going to wear a hat, I’m not going to do my makeup, but I really want to challenge myself to build my self-confidence back a bit.

And I felt like the ways I thought of when I built my confidence up when I was younger — I bought a very expensive Equinox gym membership and I was like, but I’m going to buy this and then I’m going to say I’m going to go and I’m going to go and I’m going to keep that promise to myself. And as I keep doing that, I’ll start to believe in myself.

So it’s like, I am getting dressed for this no matter what, every day. And I did not want to, but every day I just remember being like, but I only have to do it 14 more times. I only have to do it 13 more times. And then at the end it was just like, I did it. I couldn’t believe it. I did it.

And I’m not saying these were the world’s best outfits, but it was just like, I think there’s something to that — making a promise with yourself and keeping it, big or small. You start to believe in yourself and you start to trust yourself and you start to have confidence that you can do things you say you can do. And I think that helped me a lot. And it seems so small, literally putting on an outfit, but it was huge for me. I remember being like, wow, I did it. I couldn’t believe it.

JAY SHETTY: How did you not get defeated every time? Because I think a lot of people, when you’re going through something like this, you build yourself up, you prepare yourself, you get ready, and then you still gotta do another round, you still gotta do this. How did you not let yourself get defeated?

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, I mean, I got defeated sometimes and I would just try to go back to spinning it to be like, I get a chance to live, I get a chance to go on and live and wow, I can do it.

Right when I got diagnosed, I didn’t show this because I was like, I’m a little cuckoo, but I embroidered “healed” on everything you could ever imagine. My sweatshirts, my bags, everything. And every morning, “Thank you Jesus for my healing, thank you God for healing me.” I was not healed. And I’m wearing a sweatshirt to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City that says “healed.” I was just writing it everywhere and I was just believing for it. And I guess I didn’t see a point in not believing for it.

I just, I don’t see a point in not believing I’ll be a mom. I believe it now. And I gotta go write “mom” on everything, but I just believe. I don’t know if it will be the way I imagined it. That was a really hard time for me the day that they said, “You won’t carry a baby.” And I’m still like, well, maybe I’ll carry a baby. But I believe I will be a mom in some way, shape, or form, whether that’s adopting or — we actually have a surrogate now.

The Journey Toward Motherhood

JAY SHETTY: Oh, I’m so happy to hear that. It’s amazing news.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, we’re working on that and that’s quite a long process and such a beautiful thing. That someone would want to do that and feels really called to make someone else a mother — I think that’s so beautiful and I just know Mike will be the best dad and he deserves it.

JAY SHETTY: So do you both. You both do for sure.

BRIDGET BAHL: Thank you.

Raw Conversations with God

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. Talk to me about your talks with God during this time.

BRIDGET BAHL: They’re really raw. They’re not this little Catholic Bridget who grew up like — I’m like, what the heck is going on? It’s like honestly like texting with someone that I could say anything to. And I—

JAY SHETTY: Do you actually text?

BRIDGET BAHL: No, it’s like in my mind.

JAY SHETTY: In your mind, okay.

BRIDGET BAHL: I do it all day and then I try to make time at night and I download everything. But he already knows — in my mind, that’s what I believe — that he already knows everything. He knows all of our thoughts. He knows the number of hairs on our head. I’m kind of just, I think he’s sick of me. I’m like, he’s probably like, “Kill the girl, enough, I don’t want to hear from her anymore.”

JAY SHETTY: I love your sense of humor. Talk to me about — we were talking at the top about grief, and as I’m talking to you, there’s so much joy and gratitude and resilience that you demonstrate, which is just mind — you inspire me so much.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh wow.

JAY SHETTY: It’s just whenever I’m around you, I just feel so moved.

BRIDGET BAHL: Moved, truly.

JAY SHETTY: Really? Yeah, by your faith.

BRIDGET BAHL: And you do a lot. You’re not giving yourself any credit.

JAY SHETTY: No, no, no, Bridget, this is about you. It’s about you. And I mean it. It really moves me. I wanted to ask you, how have you learned — or how are you learning right now — to hold both grief and gratitude at the same time?

Holding Grief and Gratitude Together

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah, I feel like that’s a really hard question. And I feel like, like I said, I don’t think I know how to do both at the same time. When I was really sick, I wasn’t grieving yet because I was so scared. I was scared I was going to die. And I’ve never had that before. I’ve never lived a day in my life where I was like, am I going to live? So you’re not balancing much. You’re getting through it, day at a time, hour at a time sometimes. And you’re just trying to put one foot in front of the other and get through it.

I think the grief is coming more now because I feel more safe now. I feel like I’m going to live. And so now I’m kind of like, whoa, what just happened? And it’s survivor’s guilt too. It’s really hard because not everybody gets what I just got. So it’s hard to say. I’m struggling with that.

I do think I need to let myself lean into that a little more and definitely need to do some work on myself about letting myself feel the feelings that just happened. But I’m not doing great at that yet. Right now I’m being very like, “Oh, I should just be happy that I’m alive.” So some work to do there. Do you have any advice for me? How do I do that? You tell me. I don’t know.

JAY SHETTY: I think your talks with God and the incredible sharing you do with your community — I’m in no place to guide or advise you. I feel so just touched by the way you talk to God about what you’re going through. And I mean, there could be no better guide than that. And also hearing about just how you chose to share it with the community. I feel like you’ve already processed so many emotions, more than you can even ever imagine. And you’re going to know how to process these new ones as they come up because you’ve already done so many of the harder ones.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: And so it’s just trusting yourself and trusting God that you’ll get the wisdom and the insight to know what to do next.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: Which you’ve already lived by.

Life After Cancer — Now What?

BRIDGET BAHL: I definitely feel a little bit like, oh, now what do I do? Because I had this whole life and then it kind of got turned upside down. So I’m like, okay, it is what it is. But now it’s like, what do I do? Do I go back to talking about clothes? And it’s like, I’m definitely grieving who I was. I don’t think she’s coming back. I think there will always be that before and after cancer.

I don’t know that it’s not a blessing though, because I get to live my life through a different lens. I hope that other people get to see that through me. What’s the saying? “Healthy people want a lot of things, but sick people, they only want one thing.” And I hope that people — it can be a small reminder to them — if you’re listening to this today and you’re having a bad day, but you have your health, the world is your oyster. You are so blessed and so lucky. And there’s so many things and circumstances that we can change and work on. And to just, maybe if you could just shift that to gratitude a little bit — there’s always something to be grateful for.

I was really grateful that I got to do cold capping during my treatment. It sucks, but I was so lucky and blessed to be able to do that. Not everyone gets to do that. And I kept some of my hair and I’m like, wow, God, you are just spoiling me rotten. I am even keeping some of my hair.

I hope I figure out what to do next and how to merge. And I don’t feel the exact same pressure I felt before — to post every day and all of this — because I’m kind of just like, I need a beat. I need to figure out. But I don’t know. What do I do? Send tips. Tell me. I feel like most people who’ve been through this that I’ve met are like really badass. So I’m looking forward to that. I think they’re super mega impressive and I’m like, whoa. Something happens, I’m just not that far yet. I’m still working on it.

JAY SHETTY: I think a lot of people think they have to find their purpose and you’re already living it by doing what you’re doing right now. I think you’re already living the next phase of your life without even knowing it.

BRIDGET BAHL: I mean, I think purpose is so cool in that way.

The Best Advice Ever Received

JAY SHETTY: What is the best advice you’ve ever heard or received?

BRIDGET BAHL: “This too shall pass.” Can I explain? More than a sentence?

JAY SHETTY: I knew you were going to do that.

A Box of Hope and Gratitude

BRIDGET BAHL: So I’m sorry, I get all myself. I think, for obvious reasons, going through the year I just went through, “this too shall pass.” But it’s also like another reminder to be in the moment and realize, what good is happening right now? Because this is going to pass.

And then also I think it’s so, so important for when you’re at your highest moment too, like you’re at the best moment, everything’s working out for you — “this too shall pass.” So be present in that moment, but also stay humble in that moment, because this too shall pass.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah. Well said. I have a little box for you here.

BRIDGET BAHL: What is that?

JAY SHETTY: Inside this box are different things that I think are valuable to people at different points in their life. And I want you to just pick out anything that looks interesting to you and talk about when it was important and how it’s changed.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh wow. Oh my gosh, this is really cute. I don’t know. Okay, so nails. I literally can’t wait to go and get my nails done. You can’t get your nails done when you’re going through chemotherapy. I did once anyway — rebel with a cause — and it got really, it wasn’t good.

So, wow. I like this, it kind of excites me. It makes me excited.

JAY SHETTY: I love that.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah. Is this like Mike?

JAY SHETTY: Well, we need the dark hair.

BRIDGET BAHL: So this was actually — that looks like the guy I dated before Mike who wasn’t very nice to me, who would not have been good at taking care of me this year.

JAY SHETTY: So we’re leaving him behind.

BRIDGET BAHL: Yeah. See ya. Bye.

What else? This is like really hopeful to me. This is like — this is happening somehow, some way. This is going to happen. So prayers up for this one, but I’m believing. I just believe.

JAY SHETTY: Yeah, believe.

BRIDGET BAHL: This is really cute because it will be 3 years. This has 3 diamonds and it’ll be our 3 years this year. So we had our first year, and then I got diagnosed at our second year — so our whole second year of marriage. I feel like the third year is like pretty exciting and cool to go into, and like, what’s the best thing that can happen, right?

JAY SHETTY: Wow. I love it.

BRIDGET BAHL: You did great. Yeah.

JAY SHETTY: You did great. That was it — it was just the ones that stood out to you.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh, look. That’s cool. I like that.

Closing Words

JAY SHETTY: Well, Bridget, I think you’re going to go on to help a lot of people, save a lot of people. This has become part of your purpose in the way you’re acting and sharing already. And I think you’re going to continue to inspire people through anything you choose to do.

BRIDGET BAHL: Oh, wow.

JAY SHETTY: Thank you. I truly believe that. I really believe that through sharing this message, through sharing your journey and story — but even beyond that, I think anything you choose to go and do moving forward will inspire people because of how you go about it, how you carry yourself, how wonderful and thoughtful you are with everyone, how present you are.

I think there are so many incredible qualities you have that I can’t wait for the world to experience and for people to share with. So yeah, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for trusting me, coming on the show to share your story. When I met you, I was blown away and I couldn’t think of a better guest to have on the show. And the fact that you came out when you still got a treatment left — and I know this isn’t easy for you physically, mentally, emotionally — but you’re still here.

BRIDGET BAHL: And you make it easy. You’re pretty good. You’re good at this, Jay. No, you make it easy.

JAY SHETTY: I feel like you’re just so raw and vulnerable, and that’s what makes it — that’s why people love you. It’s why people love learning and following the journey with you, because you can tell it’s all real. So yeah, it’s incredible. Thank you.

BRIDGET BAHL: My therapist told me, “Stand in the mirror naked for 5 minutes, put a timer on, and just look at yourself.” Day 1, I was literally shaking because I was like, mm-mm. Like, it was already tough for me to love my body.

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