Stassi Schroeder on Call Her Daddy Podcast (Transcript)

So how does he handle your pregnancy? What is he like when you’re pregnant?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, he really is great. I really did luck out with that, but he can’t. He says that. He’s like, “I give you compliments all the time. I tell you how beautiful you are. I want to have sex with you all the time. I’m always coming after you,” and I’m like, it doesn’t matter.

I need to hear those things from other women. I need to hear I look beautiful from other women. I need the compliments from other women. He tries so hard to make me feel good about myself. And, of course, I want my husband to desire me and want me and think I’m beautiful and all those things, but there’s just something about a compliment from another woman that really is what feeds my soul. That’s what keeps me going.

The Real Talk About Pregnancy and Sex

ALEX COOPER: No, I get what you’re saying. It’s like, there’s a difference between men objectifying us. We’re like, we get it. And obviously, some men also love when women are pregnant, too.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. Beau’s like that. So Beau is like, I look, I wish I could. I mean, I’m. Yeah. You talk about sex a lot.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I don’t know why.

ALEX COOPER: I don’t know.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Brain fog.

ALEX COOPER: Sorry.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Sorry. Brain fog. No, he’s like, “I want to. I love your pregnant body. It’s so sexy. I love when you change in front of me. I love all this,” and I just feel gross. So I’m just like, no. I mean, thank God, because imagine if he was somebody who didn’t like a pregnant body.

ALEX COOPER: That is actually something I’ve thought about. I’ve heard women say he really just wasn’t into the pregnancy thing. And in my mind, I’m like, I don’t know if I could be with a partner that doesn’t at least f*ing fake it. But I guess you could probably tell if they fake it. You totally. Matt, my partner. I don’t even. I’m not pregnant, and I pray to God I can get pregnant but if I get pregnant, all he talks about is, “Oh, my God. I don’t know how I’m going to control myself.” And I’m like, what?

STASSI SCHROEDER: But see, at least you have that. So it’s like, it doesn’t matter what pregnancy side effects. He will still be so into you, but at the same time, it’s a burden because I don’t feel sexual whatsoever at all.

ALEX COOPER: That’s. I’m going to ask you, how do you handle? I think women are great online that talk about their pregnancy, but there’s a little too much glamorization from what I’ve heard from some moms of it’s not all f*ing great. And sometimes you feel like shit about yourselves, and sometimes it’s not the sexiest that you’re feeling. And so can you talk about the real shit of how are you feeling with your sex life?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, my God. No, my sex. I literally have zero sex drive. But I will say that I am a champion, and I take one for the team in my household, and I don’t let it go a week and a half. If it’s a weekend, you know, three days. I’m like, I should probably do this. I’m being selfish right now. Poor Beau.

ALEX COOPER: No, but I think that’s so relatable. And I feel like people don’t like to talk about that. Of sometimes you’ve got to just. And it’s different if you’re hooking up with a random guy and you’re like, I guess I have to sleep with him. No, no. This is your husband. It’s your relationship. Sometimes you’re like, I’m aware I have no sex drive. I still love you and I’m attracted.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And I want him to feel good about himself. And it does bond us. It’s like, once we do it, I’m like, oh, I’m so glad I did this. I should do this more.

ALEX COOPER: The worst with sex, you’re like, if sometimes you’re too in your head or you have no sex drive that month or whatever it is, you’re like, I literally can’t even get myself there. I know I love him, but I’m not there. And then afterwards, you’re like, we should do that more. And they’re like, f you. I know. F you. I literally ask you all the time. Sometimes it just takes going through the act.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes, 100%. Yeah. Okay.

ALEX COOPER: Do you have an alter ego when you’re pregnant?

STASSI SCHROEDER: This is how I think of myself when I’m pregnant. I feel like I’m Santa. I’m not joking. I just feel like this round, jolly.

ALEX COOPER: So I’m Santa through and through.

STASSI SCHROEDER: For real. I look in the mirror and I’m like, everything’s round and I’m just jolly. And I’m just. You know, I’m so excited about the baby that. And I’m sober, so I don’t get depressed that easily when I’m pregnant.

ALEX COOPER: Right, right. You’re not having the up and down of getting hammered one night, waking up, regretting your life, backing up. You are the queen of OOTDs. I remember literally back in the day, everyone would start hashtagging it, but you really owned it. You’re like, this is my motherf*ing outfit of the day.

The $40,000 National Holiday

STASSI SCHROEDER: I bought a national holiday. What a waste of money. Yeah. Honestly, that’s so cringe.

ALEX COOPER: You actually bought it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You have to buy it. You don’t just get to own holidays for free, Alex.

ALEX COOPER: How much did it cost?

STASSI SCHROEDER: It’s going to be embarrassing. It’s so embarrassing. I think it was $40,000. No, it. It was.

ALEX COOPER: No, it’s so embarrassing.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And you guys, I would not do it again, okay? I would never just throw away that money to have a holiday. But at the time, I was like, oh, this is good branding. I was just in business mode. My book was coming out. I’m like, I think that this is good branding. So it’s like, I’m putting money into my career. That’s how I felt.

ALEX COOPER: But no, I mean, hold on. What exactly? That feels like when people buy a f*ing star in the sky. Can’t we all just. What day is it?

STASSI SCHROEDER: It’s June 30th. Okay.

ALEX COOPER: And it’s not on all of our calendars. Apple didn’t upload. So how do we even know you own it? What was the point of buying?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, so can I tell you something that you own it for a year, and I didn’t know that. And so the next year came around, and they were like, all right, you got to pay for it again. Or the dudes. I think it was just the same amount of money. I’m like, you’re out of your mind. This is a lifetime commitment that you think I’m going to spend this every year. So now, technically, I think on the list, if you were to search the list, my name isn’t even up there anymore. But everyone on Instagram, it’s already been hashtagged and…

ALEX COOPER: And all of that. Do you really think you had to buy it?

STASSI SCHROEDER: They thought I would. Honestly, Alex, I’m so embarrassed. I’m so embarrassed.

ALEX COOPER: No, I think it’s…

STASSI SCHROEDER: I don’t care if people come for me because I deserve to be come for.

ALEX COOPER: I agree. But I think it also gives, though, a little bit of credit to you really were committed and you are. I also just can’t believe it was $40,000 for a year.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, a year.

ALEX COOPER: Maybe not the best business decision. No, but I respect it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You loved it. You know who I respect? The people who came up with this business. The people who were just… who are like, you know what? I’m going to own a national social media calendar. How does one get the authority?

ALEX COOPER: And were you just little Miss Googling? How do I get my own day?

STASSI SCHROEDER: And I think I asked my agents or my publicist, and I was like, how do I find my own holiday?

ALEX COOPER: And they…

STASSI SCHROEDER: I want one.

The $40,000 National OOTD Day Investment

ALEX COOPER: Okay, well, this does go give you credibility. Why? I don’t know. I just feel like you… that gives you some type of credibility in the fashion world. You’re giving… you’re dedicated.

STASSI SCHROEDER: First of all, the fashion world, they don’t say OOTD.

ALEX COOPER: No, you’re right.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You are. I just literally ostracized myself. Right?

ALEX COOPER: You’re never getting invited to anything 100%. But you like fashion.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I love it.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. Okay, what clothing staple did you used to wear that you would not be caught dead in now? What’s something that you were like, oh, I f*ing love this sh. Now you’re like, huh?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Statement necklaces. I rode so hard for statement…

ALEX COOPER: I remember that.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You know what? They will come back again. Not in the way that I wore them before, but I mean, they weighed me down. It was like they were battle… to wear into battle, the plates of armor. It’s insane. If you look back on Vanderpump Rules interviews, I’m like, who? How did I think that?

ALEX COOPER: That your whole chest.

STASSI SCHROEDER: That it was… that was the outfit.

Fashion Trends and Gen Z’s Influence

ALEX COOPER: But it will come back. That’s what I was going to ask you. What’s a trend that you’re so not into? But I don’t really care about trends because I’m like, it always comes back. Yeah, it’s not an actual trend. It’s this is fashion and it’s just what’s in, what’s not. But it’s going to come back.

STASSI SCHROEDER: It does. It always comes back. And you know, now I’m to the point. God, I love Gen Z. I really do. I really appreciate them because they have this anything goes mentality about fashion and clothing that I just really f*ing love because I feel like while they do follow trends, they don’t at the same time.

It’s kind of just express yourself and wear what you feel comfortable in and what you like. And I’ve found what looks I like and whether they’re dated or not, I kind of don’t care. And Gen Z gave me permission. So…

ALEX COOPER: You know what? I agree with that because I feel like back in the day when I was growing up, if you didn’t have the double popped Abercrombie polo with the lace pull and the denim skirt and the leggings and you’re a loser who were nobody.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Exactly.

ALEX COOPER: You were a loser. You weren’t in the in crowd. And so I remember begging my mom, I know this is so expensive, but this is literally for my social equity. I’m not going to be respected on dress down days if I can’t wear this 100%. No one actually cares that much anymore.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No one cares. You can get away with so much. What a glorious time to live in.

ALEX COOPER: You’re right. And everyone loves a dupe. Everyone’s down for… if it’s real. Actually people are like, that’s nah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. Why are you… yeah, why are you buying national holidays? That’s… but that’s giving the same energy. Wait, can I just say this?

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

Alex Cooper and Prada: A Perfect Match

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay, so when you were in Milan, you were there for Prada, right? Yeah, I was just talking to my hair and makeup person about this. I was like, Alex and Prada is such a good mix and vibe and relationship. You are such a good Prada girly. So I hope that that keeps going. That keeps going and just builds into just something bigger. Because that was… I would not have that neither until I saw your photo either. Me either.

ALEX COOPER: Sassy.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, because I just see you just being casual and everything. But then I saw you in your looks.

ALEX COOPER: I’m like, yes, I really appreciate that because I will say I was nervous because I too never envisioned what fashion house would I jive with the most?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And when I found the Prada moment, it felt so me. And I actually felt so comfortable and confident, which I said, never f*ing going into these type events. Feel confident because I’m like… I’m a poser. I don’t wear this sh all the time.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: But now Prada, I’ve started to buy my own sh from Prada and be like, I actually feel like if I’m dressing up, Prada feels right for me.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, it does really fit well.

Pregnancy Body Talk: The V-Shaving Dilemma

ALEX COOPER: I loved it. This is a really random fact that I learned on Selling Sunset, and I don’t know if it’s true for everyone. So I need to ask you this, okay. On Selling Sunset, there was a woman that’s pregnant, and it was her first time being pregnant, right? And she was asking advice from other moms, and the other mom was like, oh, oh, by the way, girl, yeah, you can’t shave your V after a certain amount of time.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, I can’t see. I go rogue. No, literally, this morning, I just… I guess.

ALEX COOPER: You just guess.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I literally feel around, and I’m like…

ALEX COOPER: Okay, that’s good to know. So you actually can’t see it. But then that woman was like, so I just didn’t touch it. I don’t… I think it’d be way too itchy for me. And then she was like, or have your man do it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, no, I wouldn’t. I don’t trust any… no, I don’t trust him with a razor. That just does not sound enjoyable. No, you can’t see. At a certain point, you can’t. You just have to feel for it. Yeah, I can’t grow it out. It’s way too itchy.

ALEX COOPER: Right? Because that’s what I was thinking. At least if you can’t see your vagina over the belly, you’re at least going to go rogue. But you’ll just… you’re not getting it completely bald. You’re just getting it down to a place where you’re comfortable that you’re not itchy.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, I try to get it, but I try to do…

ALEX COOPER: Can’t see sh.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I can’t see. You sit.

ALEX COOPER: I mean, we’ve done it for so…

STASSI SCHROEDER: Long that it’s like… that’s true. It’s muscle memory.

ALEX COOPER: No, that’s true. I do have a lot of women that still write in that are like, can you give us a tutorial on how to shave? And I’m like, girls, like, let…

STASSI SCHROEDER: Let’s really easy.

ALEX COOPER: This show, you can come here for a lot of things. I feel like you can look it up somewhere and we don’t need to go that. Okay. And if you’re pregnant doing it, someone with that’s not pregnant and you can see that sh, just take your time.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No excuse. Yeah. Okay.

New York Times Bestselling Author

ALEX COOPER: You have written two New York Times bestsellers. Congratulations, you little brainiac over there.

STASSI SCHROEDER: It is really exciting when I hear it. When I hear other people say it, I’m like, God, you know, we all suffer from imposter syndrome. I feel like all of us. Yeah, we all do. Because it’s like, well, you know, I wouldn’t have that if I wasn’t on the show and blah, blah, blah, and I wouldn’t have that if this didn’t happen. But you know… no, that’s really f*ing cool.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, it’s… no, it is really cool. And I think it’s also amazing that you’ve done two now.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, I’m working on my third right now. Yeah, we…

ALEX COOPER: How long does it take you to write a book?

STASSI SCHROEDER: A long time. I worked on the proposal six months. Six months I worked, and it wasn’t like that for my second book. And my first book actually came a lot quicker to me. Also, this third one, it’s… it’s harder because I’m… I’m really trying to be the way that I write. It’s like, I have to be specific about with one thesis, and then everything spiders from that, and I’m just struggling. I was struggling a little bit with what that was. So it took me a really long time just to do the proposal.

ALEX COOPER: Well, I was going to say, I think there’s so many people in Hollywood that have that one book, and they’re like, peace out. I just wanted to say I wrote a book. Clearly. You really like doing this?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, no, I love it. And that’s why I started… for the first one, I was like, I want it to be a handbook so that if I wanted to keep going, the theme could change. So it’s always still a basic b handbook to something. It’s just depending on what’s going on in my life, it’s such a good idea.

Basic Bitch vs. Cheugy

ALEX COOPER: And so I want to play a game.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: So the whole basic b handbook, clearly first question is, can you help us all decipher what is the difference? Or is there a difference between cheugy and basic?

The Basic B*tch Philosophy

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay, well, personally, what I think, I think cheugy is kind of cringe. It’s like, you know, like cringe clothing or cringe, you know, things that I don’t know. There’s a cringe element to cheugy. I personally think that anything that’s basic, it’s just like leaning in so hard to something that you really love and doing that unapologetically.

It’s like if you really love rom coms or if you really love murder docs and just like leaning in and it’s like, “oh God, you’re so basic.” But it makes me happy. It brings me joy. It’s like leaning into the things that really bring you joy and not giving a f* if it’s what’s cool.

ALEX COOPER: Basic to me kind of is a timeless situation where basic also means that a lot of people though, are doing it and it’s just something that kind of is timeless.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. And there’s a reason those things are popular. Because they feel good or they make you happy or they f*ing spark joy. So I’m saying I love being basic Santa over fears.

ALEX COOPER: You’re like, I can say it, you can’t say it. Alex. Okay, we’re playing a game. You’re going to tell me if it’s basic or not.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay.

Basic or Not: The Game

ALEX COOPER: And also you can just give me your thoughts on the topic in itself. Okay. Number one, Aperol Spritz.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Are you f*.

ALEX COOPER: That’s the most basic.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, it’s my favorite drink in the whole world. I crave it every day. That’s the worst part of pregnancy. The worst part is that I can’t have multiple Aperol spritzes all day, every day. Dude.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I make Bo make them. So I’m like, I’m going to have three sips and I literally swish it around my mouth for as long as I can. Spit it out. No, I swallow it. My baby can handle a few sips of an Aperol spritz, but I literally swish it and hold it in there and I’m like, oh, that felt good. That feels good.

ALEX COOPER: That feels good. I love them so much. And I think people consider them basic, but I think they’re great. So that’s great. Okay, Get Ready With Me videos. Oh my God.

STASSI SCHROEDER: So I didn’t know what this was. And I’m a big TikTok fan. Okay, okay, okay. And all of a sudden I just kept seeing GRWM everywhere. And I was like, grown woman. I literally was like, what the f* is everybody writing Grown woman? Because not all Get Ready With Me videos look the same. They weren’t all makeup. Some of them are picking outfits. So there was no theme right away.

ALEX COOPER: And most of the time it’s a woman doing it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes. So I thought grown woman was the vibe. And it took me a few months to realize, I feel like that it was Get Ready With Me. And this is the thing. I tried one. I put one out three weeks ago. And how to do. I feel like the kids loved it. Although I will say everyone was commenting being like, “wow, 2016.” And I’m like, oh, wait, I was trying to do a thing, you know, I was really trying to do Get Ready With Me. And everyone’s like, “this is so nostalgic. You do your makeup like it’s 2016,” but I’m like, that’s because it works for me.

ALEX COOPER: Who cares? At least you’re not trying to pretend you’re in a generation you’re not.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, like, you know, putting the foundation, letting it drop on your face. And I can’t. I can’t get. I can’t f* with that. It kills me every Get Ready With Me that I see that people are just dropping the liquid on their face. It’s so not appealing.

ALEX COOPER: Wait, how do you do it. I don’t do it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Let me drop it.

ALEX COOPER: No, no, I don’t. I don’t. I’m just interested. How do you do it?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay, well, I take my foundation and I have a tin and I pour some out and then I—

ALEX COOPER: In your hand?

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, on a tin.

ALEX COOPER: Oh.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And then I use a brush or a sponge and like a normal f*ing person, and then do the damn thing.

ALEX COOPER: Do you think they’re on to something that we don’t know, though? No, I don’t either.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I think they’re bored, and I think that they’re just coming up with new ways to do makeup when what works already is there. So I don’t get it.

ALEX COOPER: The fact that you thought that it was grown woman.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, listen, Alex, I also got a lot of comments from people being like, I thought the same thing. So there are lots of millennial women out there who are thinking that it is grown woman. I get it.

ALEX COOPER: GRWM. Grown woman.

STASSI SCHROEDER: How would anyone just automatically know? Get ready with me.

ALEX COOPER: What. What about GR makes you think grown?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Good point.

ALEX COOPER: I like it. I think it’s funnier. I think we should start leaning in and be like, grown woman video coming right out. Ya. Okay. Tom Tom. Basic. Not basic.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You know what I’m going to say? But I think it’s basic, but again, I love things that are basic. But you can’t get any more basic than the representation of Vanderpump Rules in bar form. True. You know, there, I don’t really see. Because I’m asking for attention if I go there. Do you know what I mean? I really love it, and I’ll go there if it’s someone’s birthday. So I’m going for someone.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, but if I go there, everyone’s going to take photos. And I’m like, no, I’m not.

ALEX COOPER: I get it. I get it. Ozempic.

The Ozempic Conversation

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, my God. I really want to try it.

ALEX COOPER: When I give birth. You’re like, I want to go on it now, but I am pregnant, so I’m going to wait.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. The amount of times I’ve researched this being like, I mean, I think it’s safe and healthy. I think it’s good for you. It’s like taking vitamins.

ALEX COOPER: Stassi.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I. How do we put a disclaimer? Nothing that was said in the—

ALEX COOPER: Podcast medically, Please do not listen to this.

STASSI SCHROEDER: But come on.

ALEX COOPER: Basic.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Anyone who hears about Ozempic has to f*ing be curious. You are a liar if you tell me that you have not thought about it, thought about jumping on that train. I mean, that you don’t need it. I don’t mean you, but you should think about—

ALEX COOPER: I get what you’re saying. I think it’s. This is what I’ve started to realize. And maybe it’s just with age. I remember one of my things on here was bone broth. And I was thinking about the all the debate with Gwyneth when everyone was like, “you are promoting bad eating. That, for people. That’s not realistic and it. Whatever.” And I’m like, why does everyone care? No, she didn’t say to only eat bone broth for you. She was just being honest. Would you rather lie?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Her story, she’s literally just explaining. She’s trying to be transparent, which is what everybody is asking of people. Please be honest and transparent. So then you can’t get mad about what you hear when someone is being transparent or honest. So have I googled Ozempic and what it would be like and am I thinking about it? Yes, I am.

Because you were just talking about bone broth. My first pregnancy, I ate bone broth for dinner for six f*ing months after I gave birth. And I kind of don’t feel like doing that again.

ALEX COOPER: I love that for you.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I was like, I don’t want to. I want a quickie.

ALEX COOPER: I want an Ozempic. I’m an Ozempic girl, not a bone broth girl anymore.

STASSI SCHROEDER: We love that. I love the honesty because that’s what—

ALEX COOPER: I got annoyed where I was like, I think people are really getting too triggered. Gwyneth wasn’t like, everyone should do this. She was asked what she eats in a day, and instead of being like a cheeseburger for dinner and a day, she just told you, you don’t have to do it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, you don’t have to do it. Would you want her to lie to you? And then you’re going to wonder, wait, why don’t I look like this when I’m eating a cheeseburger for dinner? And you wanted. I want to know that it’s a struggle for Gwyneth. I want to know it’s a struggle.

ALEX COOPER: Me too. And I also love. It’s like, people need to realize. I know the whole world influencer has really taken over. But look inward. If you’re being really heavily influenced by every single influencer on the Internet.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, let’s totally do a little check.

ALEX COOPER: Yes, Just a little check in.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Just be responsible for yourself.

ALEX COOPER: Mm.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Be responsible for yourself.

ALEX COOPER: Okay, so Ozempic. Ozembi. Okay, so she’s going to go on Ozempic. You’re going to tell us how it goes. You’ll go on it. Someone else doesn’t have to ex. And then you’re going to feel how you want to feel, and they can feel how they want to feel while they’re on the elliptical. You’re look at me now. Do you think you’ll be promoting it that you’re on it or you won’t talk about it?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I would like to think that I would be somebody that promotes it and talks about it, because, again, I really do. I love when other people are transparent and honest, so I want to be that for other people. But God, people are really hard.

ALEX COOPER: People are really hard on—

STASSI SCHROEDER: On that, on things like that. And it’s like, do I feel like going through all of the hate that I’m going to get?

ALEX COOPER: Well, if I’m honest about it, unfortunately, you’re on Call Her Daddy right now saying—

STASSI SCHROEDER: You’re going to do it.

ALEX COOPER: You know, it’ll be the worst if you actually don’t go on Ozempic. And you’re like, everyone’s gym and they’re like, “that bitch is on Ozempic.” You’re like, “no, guys, I’m actually—”

STASSI SCHROEDER: I totally probably just f*ed myself. Right.

ALEX COOPER: No matter what, they’re all either like, it’s not working or it’s working and you could have been doing it organically.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Well, keep us updated. What do you think about manifesting?

Manifesting Your Dreams

STASSI SCHROEDER: I’m so basic. You manifest? I manifest the shit out of life. I think I’ve naturally been manifesting my whole life and just not know. When we were growing up, manifesting wasn’t a word that we really—

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: The way that we use it now, totally. But I think that I’ve always just been that way, and I really do f*ing ride so hard for manifesting because I feel like what works with manifesting is you just envision that the things that you want are going to happen, and then you slowly start working towards those things, whether you realize it or not. True and that is manifesting. It’s quite simple.

ALEX COOPER: That’s true. Okay, give us an example. What’s something big you manifested and boom, it happened.

STASSI SCHROEDER: My whole entire life, I wanted to live in a Spanish style home in the hills.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay. And when it got to the point where I was looking at houses, it just so seamlessly happened. And I realized that, wow. I had been planning for this and working towards this, and I’d always just said it. And then I was like, I should have manifested bigger. I should have been like, a $10 million house, Spanish style house in the Hollywood Hills. Why didn’t I manifest a yard attached to that house?

ALEX COOPER: I get what you’re saying. But okay, so you had this vision and now it’s come true.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes, because then I started, I saved the money in order, I started or I would accept this job and put that money away to start being like, this is going to happen for me, so I need to prepare for it when it does.

ALEX COOPER: So kind of like back in the days, they would just say, like, a dream you have. Now we have like, a better word that’s like a little bit more like, proactive.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Basic as f*.

ALEX COOPER: Okay. Are you watching reality TV shows?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, I just recently started watching Vanderpump Rules.

ALEX COOPER: Dude, were you not watching it?

STASSI SCHROEDER: No.

ALEX COOPER: And then you would catch up.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And then once Scandoval happened, I was like, I got to catch. I got. I didn’t catch up. But, like, I will. I’ve seen like the last three episodes. So, like, I’ve been like, I should probably. I’m interested.

ALEX COOPER: I want to see that whole drama. I can’t imagine how annoying it was for you because, like, how many people wanted to hear your take on it?

The Scandoval Phenomenon

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, you have no idea. In fact, like, it’s interesting that you say that. That you can see that. That you can see that that would maybe be annoying. Like, when it happened, like, it’s like one of those things. I joke about this, that, like, you know, it’s like when there’s like a natural disaster or a world event, and, like, you never forget where you were that day.

And, like, you could be at work or at school, and then, like, you stop what you’re doing and like, you get with your co-workers and you find the nearest fing TV. And then years later, you’re like, I’ll never forget who I was with and what we were doing. That’s how I feel about fing Scandoval.

ALEX COOPER: Like, truly, I can’t imagine, like, what was your take?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, at first I was just like, I don’t think that this is real. But then I’m like, this is. I start texting the people that I know, obviously. And I was like, like, I mean, just like, I think everyone’s the same as everyone’s reaction. Like, holy f*.

And then I was like, I feel like I’m thrown right back into something that I’ve been away from for so long. But it’s like, is it my place to be a part of it, or is it not my place? I don’t know. And then I have all of these people just DMing me. I mean, I’ve never been DM’d more about anything than I was about, like, I’m going to. Or commenting and attaching or tagging me and it being like, I’m going to need Stassi to weigh in. I’m going to need Stassi to weigh.

And I’m like, but I don’t know if it’s my place anymore. And I’ve been out of this for so long that, like, I think it would be kind of f*ing weird if I’m, like, going on my Instagram being like, this is my take on. Yeah. And, like, it was all. It was. It’s been kind of like a mind.

ALEX COOPER: Which is weird to say because it’s.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Not even happening to me. I kind of agree.

Tom Sandoval: Always a Slimeball?

ALEX COOPER: And I. That’s what. When I had Ariana on, I was like. It was actually so weird because the amount of people that were like, we kind of wanted you to have Raquel on. And I was like, this is why I also hate the Internet so much, because whenever I have villains on the show, everyone’s, like, canceled. When I don’t have them on, then they’re pissed, but when I have them on their pissed, whatever. But did you ever like Tom Sandoval?

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. I mean, no. And he never liked me. And that’s the thing, you know, I will say this. Not being on this last season, it’s like my talents were wasted because I could have. You know, this was when I could have really just, like, given it to him and been like, I’ve always knew.

ALEX COOPER: Right? Right. There’s got to be something that everyone is seeing in him. But, like, he, I feel like, has always been a slimeball.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, that’s interesting that you say that. Just because I felt like he was always so beloved and so. And I would even. I would say to my producers, I’m like, when is he going to get the edit? That, like, I feel like the rest of us see, like, why does he keep, like, getting away with being just this dude who just wants to, like, give people things and help people out, man?

And, like, all of that, I’m like, that’s not what I’m seeing. I’m seeing somebody who’s constantly, like, blaming others for things and dredging things up from the past and like, and just deflecting constantly.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Like, if, like, the rest of us look bad, then he looked good. And I’ve always felt that way.

ALEX COOPER: And so, yeah, the fact that I’m.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Not on it this season is like, f*, you know.

Missing Reality TV

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. Do you miss reality TV?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I miss reality TV at times. Like, I loved filming. I love. Like, that was. It was like all my twenties were spent doing that. And, you know, I love the camaraderie of it. And I loved all my producers and the team and the cast. Like, it’s fun. It’s really fun, but, you know, there’s something about, like, being out of it for so long and I watched it. Like, the success of a show is, like, directly tied to how badly the cast hurts each other. And that, like, feels weird.

ALEX COOPER: I agree. It’s like, I think that’s something that we’re struggling with now is, like, watching it because there is social media. I feel like people are having a harder time, like, actually choosing a villain because it’s also weird of, like, but then that person’s life is actually ruined on social media and people are getting canceled and people are getting death threats where, like, back in the day, you kind of like, the. Never saw the people. And it was like, well, that was a great show. Yeah.

Now it’s like, a little bit like, oh, people have to be really calculated to f* shit up. And, like, how far are people going to ruin each other’s lives? And is it honest? Is it real? Like, I don’t know.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, it just. It’s. We. It’s. When you really think about it, it’s f*ing dark.

ALEX COOPER: Right. Like, I feel like there’s a. I think you have a good life now outside of it, and it’s almost better to be nostalgic for it than be still in it and, like, look what’s happening right now.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, I think so, too, because I think, you know, obviously I get asked all the time, like, would you go back to reality TV? Would you go back to Vanderpump Rules? All that stuff. And I’m like, I don’t. I. You know, there might come a time when I’m like, oh, this makes sense. This type of reality TV makes sense for me or whatever. And this is a reflection on what really my life is like. You know, it might a little more boring than what you’re used to seeing.

ALEX COOPER: But it’s at least a little bit more authentic where you’re not having to, like, really create that character again.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. But, like, I don’t think I’d want to put my family in a position to be in something where, like, again, the success is tied to, like, how much you can hurt each other. And, like, I just don’t. I don’t. It’s not, like, a healthy place to be. Like, it’s not good on relationships. You can be in the strongest relationship.

And I mean, if you think about it, it’s like Vanderpump Rules is like, who’s betraying who, who’s cheating on who, who’s being shady. And, like, sometimes they, you know, they things are invented that, like, never even happened. So to put that stress on a relationship, and then if you have children on top of that, I’m just not sure that that’s, like, the healthiest thing for me. I do miss it.

ALEX COOPER: No, I do.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I get it.

Reality TV and Age Appropriateness

ALEX COOPER: Like, it’s almost like reality TV to a certain age should be appropriate because you actually, your life is toxic and chaotic. Like, season one, it was like you were so, like, in the best way, unhinged and, like, in a relationship. Like, I was like that with my boyfriends when I was in my late, like, early 20s. Then I think when you get to a certain age, it’s like you’re just f*ing your life up.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: For camera.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes. Yeah.

Current Friendships from the Cast

ALEX COOPER: Who are you friends with still from the cast?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Well, Katie’s one of my best friends in the world. She’s Hartford’s godmother and she was my maid of honor. And I’m still really close with Lala and honestly, the producers, like I’m. I hang out with the producers more than most people. Like they’re some of my closest friends.

ALEX COOPER: Really?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. So it’s so weird to like be hanging out with them and we kind of don’t talk about it that much.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean like the show part of it. But now that like Scandoval’s happened. Yeah, we talk about it a lot more, I guess.

Online Hate and Cancel Culture

ALEX COOPER: How do you feel about how much hate Tom is getting online?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, obviously I’ve been in a position where I’ve received so much hate before and like, that’s. I don’t like where we’re at. Like in society, we’re like, that’s how we punish people. It’s like a sense. It’s like, it’s like emotionally beheading people.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You know what I mean? And it’s. And who’s to decide what the punishment should be? Like, who makes someone the authority on that. Like, what makes this person on computer the authority on what they think is enough hate for him to receive.

ALEX COOPER: Right.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I don’t get down with that. Like, I really. I don’t like it. Like, do I like Tom Sandoval? No. Do I think what, like, what he did is disgusting and like, f* him. But, like, I see now I feel like I’m even adding to it, like the online vitriol.

ALEX COOPER: But there’s a level of like, if you’re being asked about it, you can talk about it. And I think everyone with their friends can talk about it. But I do think there’s like a level of. We’re just as bad of like, people that are going out of their way to comment on his photos or something and be like, go kill yourself. You’re so disgusting. It’s like that.

Dark Passengering and Personal Growth

STASSI SCHROEDER: It’s like that, that no one, like, let’s just not do that as like a group of people.

ALEX COOPER: You probably didn’t say that fully to, like, even your dad when he cheated on your mom. And you guys have a divorced family now. Like, there’s so many people that have gone through, sadly, something very similar, like cheating affairs like that. And it’s awful. But like, we don’t know these people. So, yes, they put their lives out there for us. But, like, at what point is it, like, talk to your friends in your group chat, but to actually make an effort to like, go wait outside of his house or to go make comments? It’s like, let’s. And at some.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. And at some point, like, that is how people become incredibly depressed.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Suicidal. And like, how would we all react if we knew that that’s how it ended. One of.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: How? What? It just. It’s not right.

Reflecting on Vanderpump Rules and Motherhood

ALEX COOPER: You were obviously so different back in the day as we all are, of like in your early 20s versus where you’re sitting now on the show. You were probably one of my favorite characters because it was like I was watching a scene this morning. I was trying to. I was like, telling my friend I was going to sit down with you. I’m like, no, you don’t understand. Like, no one was more iconic than Stassi. Like, she would go into these, like, rage blackouts, basically, that looked like it on screen, where you were just like, “I am the devil, motherfer.” And like, just the sht you said was, like, so gold. And I’m like, are you going to ever let your daughter watch the show?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I can’t. I can’t hide it from her. Forever. Like, so of course. I honestly just hope she learns from my mistakes. Like, I hope she sees it and cringes and is like, “You were f*ing awful.” And, like, “I don’t want to talk to you for two weeks.” And I’m like, fair. And then she just literally goes, you know, that just swings her in the opposite direction. And she just wants to be this, like, lovely, kind child. But, like, that’s fair, you know?

ALEX COOPER: Okay. How would you describe yourself back then verse now to someone maybe that didn’t watch the show, didn’t know yet. Oh, my God.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, oh, my God. I think so. Incredibly selfish. Like, I still have selfish tendencies. Like, 100%. That’s always going to be a personality trait, so I hope it is. But, like, I really, truly thought the world revolved around me. I thought that everything that I was going through mattered to everyone. I just felt like what I had to say was so important.

I was also one of those people that’s, like, “I just tell it like it is. You got to just deal with it.” And now that I’m older, like, I don’t like that about myself. And I think that’s such an overrated quality because all you’re saying is, like, you don’t care about how your words affect other people. So, like, sometimes, like, it’s good to just think before you speak, you know, it’s, like, called being polite and gracious. True. Like, I just, like. And there are still people that, like, you know, are in that reality TV world that are still like that, that are just like, “Why tell? Like, it is I’m honest. Like, if you can’t handle the truth and, like, I’m not for you.” And I’m like, but do you really want to be that way?

ALEX COOPER: I get what you’re saying about, like, holding yourself back for maybe speaking about certain things, but again, the environment that you were in, like, that is what would make you a better person on reality TV.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. No, so it’s like.

ALEX COOPER: Like, it’s almost like you were rewarded when you would say crazy sh*t.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I was.

ALEX COOPER: Now it’s like, when you’re in private with friends, maybe we don’t bring that into real life, but I get what you’re saying of watching it back. You’re like, why did I say that’s how I feel about. When I look back at my, the earlier days of my show, I’m like, why did I say some of that stuff? Yeah, that’s also life.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. No, that’s true.

ALEX COOPER: But we just happened to be, like, recording our.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes. And we were rewarded for it. Just like you were rewarded for, like, things that would come out of your mouth. It’s like, that’s how we’re paid to be. Totally, like, to say crazy sh*t.

Life in Your 20s vs. 30s

ALEX COOPER: Yes. What do you miss most about being in your 20s?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Being selfish. Leaning into it, like, right. And, like, not knowing that it was wrong. Right. You know? Yeah. It’s the delusion. It’s like, the not knowing any better and just really living for myself. But at the same time, it’s like, I am such a happier person not living for myself. Like, as, like, fun as it all was to be reckless and selfish, like, I am so much more at peace and such a happier person.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Now that I’m not like that.

ALEX COOPER: I get what you’re saying. Like, I was thinking about that as I wrote that question today. I was thinking, like, okay, I am 28, but I almost feel like I’m already 30, and I am, like, my earlier stages of my 20s. I feel like I thought I was having so much fun in the toxic relationships and going out and drinking, getting up and blacking out and, like, jokingly waking up and having all my friends in the room be like, “I just ruined my life.” And that’s also, like, life. But there is some different level of peace you feel once you get over that hump where, like, I don’t wake up with that anxiety of, like, what did I say to that person? Like, was I, like, mean? Like, did I f* up? Like, did I do something? Like, I don’t know. It’s, like, calmer.

STASSI SCHROEDER: It is. I mean, there’s, like, a reason that, like, you know, elderly people are, like, “My idea of fun is, like, staying in, like, watching, like, Downton Abbey.” It’s, like, because our preferences change as we age. And, like, I agree with that. Staying in, watching Downton Abbey is, like, the most fun you can have.

ALEX COOPER: Do you often hang out with elderly folks? I should.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Honestly, I should find myself a pack of elderly friends.

ALEX COOPER: They, like, come over one night, and there’s, like, seven people that you just, like, went and picked up from the elderly home.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I mean, I’m always down for granny vibes.

ALEX COOPER: I do love granny vibes, too. What do you love most about being in your 30s?

STASSI SCHROEDER: In my 30s? Oh, my gosh. I think that the. I’ve learned that, like, the power of saying no to things and not caring about, like, well, is someone going to be mad at me if I’m not going to what they just asked me to do or if I say no to like a FaceTime or like, I don’t respond to a text message, like, I prioritize as much as like, I. It’s funny that I’m saying this because it sounds like I’m being selfish, but I’ve just prioritized my happiness and well being. And I know how to do that and not worry about, like, well, so and so going to be mad at me if I say no. Like, I’m allowed to say no. I’m allowed to say no.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, you are. I love that too. Because there’s like. I get what you’re saying. It sounds selfish, but there’s a different level of maturity of like a freedom that you get instead of feeling like, oh, my God. But it has to be calculated. If I don’t text them, it’s because I’m like, being mean. This is actually. I’m not being mean. I’m just. There’s just things that I don’t want to do. Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I’m just kind of busy and I don’t want to do that. Or like, I’d like to stay home with my daughter tonight. Like, I just, like, it’s not for me. And honestly, I don’t even owe an explanation.

ALEX COOPER: No.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Like, no is all I have to say.

Drinking Habits and Pregnancy

ALEX COOPER: What’s the difference between Stassi hammered in her twenties versus Stassi hammered in her thirties? How much longer?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I’m due the beginning of September. That’s a while. Three f*ing months.

ALEX COOPER: You got.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You got this? Well, I would fully black out in my 20s. Like, I wouldn’t remember things. And, and, and I. Yeah, I wouldn’t remember what I texted, I wouldn’t remember what I said. It was super emotional. Now because I have a kid, I’m not allowed.

ALEX COOPER: Right.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I can’t. It’s unfortunate, but I can’t let it get too far. So, like, I honestly, I feel like I don’t have that much of like a personality shift with. I drink. Does that make me an alcoholic? Maybe. But I feel like I’m kind of the same as I am right now.

ALEX COOPER: That’s good. That’s good.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: Love that. It’s just like you have. You’re just having a little bit better time.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, like, I’m just having a better time. That’s what it is. I’m just having a better time in my 30s because, like, I’m not getting obliterated.

ALEX COOPER: Right? You’re not getting full blackout. That’s fair. Speaking of being drunk, you talk a lot about dark passengering and I think a lot of my fans may not have any idea. Like, what does that mean? Like, can you explain what that means?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, 100% I can.

ALEX COOPER: You talk a lot about Dark Passengering, and I think a lot of my fans may not have any idea. Like, what does that mean? Like, can you explain what that means? Yeah.

The Dark Passenger

STASSI SCHROEDER: 100%. Again, I mainly did this all throughout Vanderpump Rules, but it became a thing when I started dating Beau. Okay, so I would go absolutely psycho on him. Like, I mean, breaking phones, texting him 73 times in a row, yelling, screaming, threatening things like violence. Okay. When I wouldn’t get my way.

And normally it was because I would want to leave a party early because I have granny vibes. So I’d want to go to bed at 11, and he’s so social, and he would want to stay out later. And I’ve always had a trigger when it came to that because, honestly, I feel validated now because it’s Scandoval. It’s like, shady things in that group of friends always happen after hours.

So I would start freaking out. Like, what is… why does he want to be out with my friends and not coming home with me? And I would go just insane on him. I would… it was like… that’s why he would call it the Dark Passenger. It’s like, I would literally see red. Like, anger is the only emotion that overtakes me. I see red. I can’t control it. I can’t stop myself. Like, that is what the Dark Passenger used to be. But again, now, looking back, in light of, you know, Scandoval and all that, I was right.

ALEX COOPER: As you were describing that, I think it’s totally understandable if your partner for one night occasionally is like, “Oh, my gosh, no, I’m having so much fun with my friends. I want to stay out.” If your partner, every single time you guys go out is always lingering and you’re going home alone… biggest red flag. You know what? Strange. Yeah, strange.

STASSI SCHROEDER: So true.

ALEX COOPER: Why? Why would you want to stay and not come home with me? Yeah, like, what?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Exactly.

ALEX COOPER: I can’t imagine wanting to. Like, I… again, I get it if I’m having… all my friends are there, and my fiancé’s like, “I really want to go home, exhausted.” I’m like, “But I’m having so much fun with my girlfriends.”

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Then I’m going to stay out occasionally. But I don’t think I’ve ever been like, “I desperately want to stay at this party.” I’m not single. I’m not looking for dck. Like, the dck I have is going home. Like, why don’t I want to just go home with them?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. No. Thank you for validating me.

ALEX COOPER: But don’t you think for a lot of people listening to this probably are like, “Huh? I have this a lot with my partner where they stay out so many more nights than if I’m going home alone or they’re going out without me all the time.” Like, I guess to each his own. I personally wouldn’t be down because I just wouldn’t understand, like, why would your partner always want to be out without you?

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, I completely agree with that. And that was always my argument. What is it… what is it that you want to be doing? Like, what is more fun than just going to sleep with me?

ALEX COOPER: Right. No. And I also get the trigger of if you have ever been cheated on or again…

STASSI SCHROEDER: And that’s what would happen. Like, you know, when Kristen and Jax, season two or whenever, when they did their thing… like that. That was always after hours, after the party, after I had gone home.

ALEX COOPER: So nothing good happened.

STASSI SCHROEDER: So nothing good happens after hours. So it makes me… it made me feel so weird when Beau would want to just stay out. And so that’s when we put a name to the Dark Passenger. But the Dark Passenger can really just… it means anytime you just literally see red and anger is the only thing, and you can’t reason. There’s no logic.

ALEX COOPER: Yep. I feel like you had a lot of that for birthday parties. Yeah. Let’s talk about your birthday, because I want to relate to you here, and I can’t. And I want to hear your explanation of what your birthday means to you.

Birthday Queen Energy

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, my God. I’m going to disappoint you so much right now.

ALEX COOPER: Why?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay, so the first few years of Vanderpump Rules, 100%, I was a birthday beast. Yep. Okay. I was so obsessed with my birthday. I have no idea where it came from. You know what? I blame the fact that I am a summer baby, and so I never got to really have birthday parties where all the people could come. So I made it a much bigger deal as an adult or something. But after the first few seasons of Vanderpump Rules, I stopped caring.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I got it out of my system.

ALEX COOPER: That’s great.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Bravo would never let me stop caring. Bravo was like, “No, but this is…”

ALEX COOPER: This is a bit.

STASSI SCHROEDER: This is your thing. Like, you are… people relate to this. This is your… you are the birthday queen. And literally, to this day, people… when people come up to me, 50% of the time, they’re either saying the quote about the devil or Pinot Grigio. And the other 50% of the time, it’s like, “Thank you for making me…”

ALEX COOPER: Feel good about my birthday. Dude, I remember watching it and the people that didn’t watch those seasons, like, the rage that took over you of, “It’s my f*cking birthday. Sit down and be present.” And I was like, I loved watching it, but I don’t relate to that. And so I was like, I wanted to hear today. I think it’s great. You’re over it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: So for your birthday now you don’t really care?

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, I don’t really care. I think I was just always just channeling main character energy, you know? Like when you… when you’re trying to have main character energy, you need to care about your birthday. Main characters care about their birthdays.

ALEX COOPER: The whole month. It’s a whole thing.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And I think that actually, for reality TV, worked. I think on Instagram, it’s annoying as f*ck when it’s like…

STASSI SCHROEDER: Totally. It’s like, “My birthday month.”

ALEX COOPER: We’ve got to stop. Ten days for my birthday.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I’m like, no one gives a f*ck.

ALEX COOPER: It’s not countdown. Like, no one cares. No one cares. Okay. We can… we relate on that. Okay. Do you secretly miss a little bit of drama in your life now you know that you don’t have reality TV?

Missing the Drama

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, sometimes. I know I say this to Beau a lot, actually. I’m like, “You know what? We should get in a fight, and I should Dark Passenger, because it would just make me feel so passionate. That would probably make me horny.”

ALEX COOPER: I get what you’re saying. Like, a little…

STASSI SCHROEDER: A little bit.

ALEX COOPER: A little friction.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. A little bit. I remember when we were in Vegas in December, actually, when I conceived, we were walking past the sign for Absinthe. Have you ever been to that show?

ALEX COOPER: No.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, it’s so good.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, it’s really good.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And I was like, “Oh, my God, Beau, remember the last time we saw Absinthe? I full blown Dark Passenger on you.” And I was like, “We should do that. That’ll help us make a baby.” Stop. And he thinks I’m insane, and he thinks that’s so unwell. But I just think that… I think makeup sex is fun.

ALEX COOPER: I agree. I think men have a little bit harder time playing the role of, “We’re fighting, but it’s not really, really…” and they’re like, “I don’t understand. Am I in trouble?”

STASSI SCHROEDER: Like, stop. 100%.

ALEX COOPER: And they get scared. Like, I try to do it with my partner all the time. Just light little tinges here and there can be fun.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Not all the time, but a little. Like, I’m like, “We’ve been so good.”

STASSI SCHROEDER: Not being so good.

ALEX COOPER: Let’s have a comeback.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I want to miss you. I want to be like, I want to be scared that I’m going to lose you, you know? Even though I…

ALEX COOPER: Know I’m not. Like, let me just pretend. Let me just pretend and play with it. I feel like guys can’t get… no, but I kind of…

STASSI SCHROEDER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: Did you ever, at one point, bring your trust issues in your past into your relationship that it really affected you guys?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Past the Dark Passenger of staying out late, was there anything else?

Working Through Trust Issues

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, well, we started going to therapy really early on into our relationship because I had all of those freak out moments and I just didn’t trust him. And he didn’t understand where it was coming from because he had never given me a reason for me not to trust him.

And we had to talk through it. And the more we went to therapy, the more then he was like, “Thank you so much for articulating this, for communicating this, because I understand that must have been really hard to have this happen to you, to have your friend do this to you, to have, you know, other times that I had been cheated on.” Like, “I get it now.” And then we were able to work together, but yeah, it really affected our relationship.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. I love that you have openly talked about couples therapy, because I think there’s such a stigma of, “What’s wrong with your relationship?”

STASSI SCHROEDER: And it’s like, why isn’t everyone going this early? Right? Like, why? Because that’s when the relationship… it’s make or break, honestly, and you’re coming into the relationship with all your separate baggage, so might as well get it worked out right away. I agree. Okay.

ALEX COOPER: Your relationship, you’ve talked kind of about how you have very different sex drives with Beau and everything. Give the girlies tips of how do you keep things intimate without at times being actually physically intimate? Like, what do you guys do?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Honestly, Alex, I need the tips. I need the tips. I think… listen, I think that Beau and I are really good at quality time. Like, we talk to each other. Like, we spend time together. Like, we’re really good at parenting together. Like, I know that doesn’t sound romantic, but when you’re aligned in how you view things like that… like, when you get into a relationship with someone, you get married to someone, or you decide to have a child with someone, you better really like that person. Because when you have a kid, y’all…

ALEX COOPER: Are in it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You’re in it 24/7. Like, and so there are going to be days that are kind of boring, and you better really just like being around that person while doing all of the monotonous, mundane sh*t.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, that’s such a good point. Like, I was thinking about you and having watched some of your relationships… very toxic in the past, to then Beau seems like the complete opposite of stable, normal, romantic, loving, sweet. Like, in the beginning, did that freak you out?

Choosing Different

STASSI SCHROEDER: It didn’t freak me out, but I made it… what I did with him is I made a choice. Like, I was aware of the fact that I was changing my habits. Like, everyone that I’ve dated in the past, it was kind of all the same… exciting and passionate right from the beginning, just feeling like, you know, that feeling which ends up being toxic, honestly, 100%.

And so Beau was kind of everything different. You know what I mean? He was different than anything that I had dated before. And I went about it, both of us did, really slowly, and we casually dated, and we dated other people, and we just really got to know each other.

And I think that that’s what made this relationship so solid is that we trusted each other. There was constant communication, constant getting to know each other, but nothing about him scared me because I knew that I was doing everything different.

When You Know You’re Done with Toxic

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, I kind of also had—I mean, I think a lot of people do—you have those toxic relationships. But I think at some point, people always write in asking when will I be ready to not go for the toxic. You just kind of know, you know, when you’re done.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, you totally.

ALEX COOPER: There’s a feeling of, I don’t want to deal with it anymore.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And I think that there’s something really overrated about the “love at first sight” thing. I still have friends that are single and will ask me what should I do? I’m like, well, you write someone off if you don’t feel that “in love” feeling, that excitement right away. But that’s kind of overrated. And we don’t know people right away. So how real is that feeling?

ALEX COOPER: It’s like, there’s a difference between going on a first date and actually vibing. And there’s definitely something here.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Obviously, you have to have attraction and you have to vibe. Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: But the feeling of the butterflies, but also anxious and he’s not texting and waiting and playing the games and being so calculated and, like, all—that shouldn’t be happening because that’s unhealthy.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: That’s not enjoyable.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Exactly.

ALEX COOPER: But I think when you are doing that for so long, you can get into this rhythm of that normal feels boring. And I think it’s like, I got to a point where I’m like, actually toxic became so boring to me.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I completely f*ing agree. Toxic is boring.

ALEX COOPER: It’s boring because it’s so transparent of, and then we’re going to fight, and then he’s not going to text me, and then I’m going to not text him, and then we’re going to get a fight, and then we’re going to have this crazy sex, and then I’m going to feel insecure, and then—and then it’s just like this. And you’re never able to be like, I feel really happy today on this nice Wednesday.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I know you don’t have that. Yes.

ALEX COOPER: And that just—

STASSI SCHROEDER: Just—I get it.

ALEX COOPER: I won’t say to anyone in their early 20s or in their teens right now, you got to go through it.

STASSI SCHROEDER: You do have to go through it. It is fun to go through it once or twice.

ALEX COOPER: Totally. But it would just be nice if you can—if you start to feel like you’re getting fed up with it, you have to also change your ways.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes.

ALEX COOPER: That’s just—okay. How did you know Beau was the one?

Finding “The One”

STASSI SCHROEDER: Because I could completely be myself, honestly. I felt like there was—I never had to watch what I said or what I did or I never felt insecure in that way. I felt like he loved everything about me and he—but not just loved it. He would champion it. He was so into just me being a basic bh. That’s so not a dude thing to do, to be like, “Yeah, you go like your basic bh self,” you know? He was just really accepting and a cheerleader. And I think that what I realized, I really want that for myself.

ALEX COOPER: Totally, totally. No, that’s so cute. Obviously I only get to watch your life slightly through Instagram, but you guys look so happy.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Thank you.

ALEX COOPER: And it’s just really cool to see. Again, I literally sitting down with you—the best version of a whole person I knew was from season one, two, and three. And watching those seasons, I love that part of you, but it’s also cool to sit down with you and get to know you as a mom and a partner and just—I don’t know, it’s like, you’re—you seem great. Like, got it together.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I know. I feel like I got it together.

ALEX COOPER: I think I do.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I think so.

Life on Tour

ALEX COOPER: Wait, so you’re on tour?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And Kate went to one of your shows and she was like, it is so crazy. She sells out everywhere. You are just so personable and outgoing and everyone loves you. And all of your fans are amazing. And she was like, they’re the nicest girls in a room. Just loving, being so happy to be there. Do you like touring?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I love it. That was the one thing when COVID happened that I was like, if I can do anything ever again, please let it be touring. I really love it. I just love the whole process of it. Not just creatively putting together—it’s challenging. It’s fully challenging myself to do something that’s so uncomfortable. Putting together a set, where it’s like, I’m not a stand-up comedian, but I have to be for a second.

ALEX COOPER: Of course.

STASSI SCHROEDER: I have to act kind of, and then write something for myself, then deliver it and hope that people find it interesting. Right? And then put together segments and—and, you know, just—I just love the creative process of it. And then I also like the whole traveling aspect of it, you know? I love going to different places and seeing smaller towns and meeting people from different places and checking into hotels. I don’t know, I just—I really—I love touring.

ALEX COOPER: I give you so much credit because I don’t think people know how hard it is.

STASSI SCHROEDER: It is f*ing ridiculous how hard it is.

ALEX COOPER: How long is your show?

STASSI SCHROEDER: An hour and a half.

ALEX COOPER: To have acts and yourself and everyone entertaining people for an hour and a half live.

STASSI SCHROEDER: When you think about it, I’ll always—when I’m watching everyone leave the theater, I’m in my car and I’m like, all these people spent their money to come here. They got babysitters. They took Ubers. They came here. So if I didn’t deliver, that’s—I’m letting them down, you know? I mean, it’s not like they can just—they’re at home flipping on a television show. It’s like they went out of their way. And I appreciate that so much that they put in that effort to come see me. So the pressure is—is—is on. It’s there.

ALEX COOPER: But nervous to go on stage now, or—

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, there are—when I know people in the audience and—

ALEX COOPER: So how many cities do you do?

STASSI SCHROEDER: I think we did—we’re doing 25, I think, but we’re over halfway done. I think the hardest part now I’ve realized this is—and when I do this again, I’ll plan it differently, is, yeah, I can’t be gone six days at a time. I miss Hartford too much. So those last two shows, I kind of just end up not caring because I’m feeling down. I just want to go home and be a mom. And so I’ve realized that. I think that the next time around, I’ll be like, okay, three days.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Then we get home, three days.

ALEX COOPER: Then you get exhausted by being pregnant and touring at all.

Touring While Pregnant and Sober

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. Okay, let me tell you something. This is going to sound extra alcoholic. Okay?

ALEX COOPER: It’s okay.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Because I haven’t sounded alcoholic enough this whole time. But I was way more low energy and tired the first two tours that I did before COVID because we would drink and have fun, you know? I mean, we’d have Bloody Marys on the plane and drink rosé while we’re getting ready and drink backstage and have Aperol spritzes on stage. And I just felt tired because of that. Now I think I have the most energy out of everyone that I’m traveling with because I’m sober.

ALEX COOPER: Wait, no, I actually so get that. You would just keep drink—I would do the same thing.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, you just keep going. So now I’m sober, so I feel like—I feel sharp. I feel just way more alert and with it and quicker and, yeah, sobriety really suits me. It’s just not fun.

ALEX COOPER: You’re like, I know it’s for the best for me, but the minute I have my child, I’m back on my shade 100. I’m getting an Aperol spritz brought to my room right after I delivered.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Oh, no. Beau literally brought me—he made spicy margaritas in the hospital for me, and he’s going to do that again.

ALEX COOPER: The fact that you said you swish around an Aperol spritz and just hold it there, I feel like that’s what I’m going to have to do if I ever get pregnant.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah. Or a really good red wine. I’ll have a little bit of red wine every now and then. My doctor literally says it’s fine to have some few sips.

ALEX COOPER: Right. Everyone calm down.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Half a glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll leave it in my mouth. Literally, it feels like for three and a half minutes. Because you just—the taste. I miss the taste.

What’s Next

ALEX COOPER: I get it so much. What is coming up in your life? So you’re writing a book, you’re having a kid. I actually love how I didn’t even have to ask you. You’re writing a book, you’re having a kid, and you’re on tour.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: You’re kind of thriving.

STASSI SCHROEDER: And I have two podcasts. So, how do you do two podcasts? I mean, when you’re—the other one’s with—

ALEX COOPER: With—

STASSI SCHROEDER: With Beau. So it’s easy for us to just make time to do it so it doesn’t feel like it’s as too much. Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Let’s have you back home when you’re hammered, then. We really can’t.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Eric, get toasty.

ALEX COOPER: That would be fun to do one next time we actually get up.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And see what comes out of our mouths.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No. Alex, this was one of my favorite podcasts I’ve ever done.

ALEX COOPER: Was it fun?

STASSI SCHROEDER: This was so fun.

ALEX COOPER: I’m so happy you came because I had an idea we would be vibing. We—I also feel like we never shut the f* up. Do we have one breath of silence where we were—I haven’t even heard the room tone since we started. But I guess that’s a good podcast, right?

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes.

ALEX COOPER: Or everyone’s going to be like, you guys are so annoying.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah, you guys are annoying. You guys keep talking over each other.

ALEX COOPER: I don’t think we were talking over each other.

STASSI SCHROEDER: We were two professionals.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. We—right as you were finishing, I would pick up and—

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, I think we had a good time.

STASSI SCHROEDER: No, this was—I’m not joking. This was one of my favorite podcasts I’ve ever done. I really just had a really great time.

ALEX COOPER: I had a great time, and I felt like I really could just relax. And we had a normal, fun conversation that was just happened to be filmed for millions of people to watch.

STASSI SCHROEDER: Yes.

ALEX COOPER: You were so fun. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. This is great. Oh, my God.

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