Why I Stopped Watching Porn by Ran Gavrieli (Transcript)

 

Ran Gavrieli

Full text of Ran Gavrieli’s talk: Why I Stopped Watching Porn at TEDxJaffa conference. 

Listen to the MP3 Audio: Why I stopped watching porn_ Ran Gavrieli at TEDxJaffa 2013

TRANSCRIPT: 

I stopped watching porn for two reasons basically. The first one was that porn brought so much anger and violence into my private fantasies. And these were anger and violence that were not there originally to begin with. And I did not want it for me anymore. This was not me and, I decided to just put an end to it. Easier said than done — I got it later on.

The second reason was that I came to realize I think that only by watching porn I take part in creating a demand for filmed prostitution because that’s what porn really is: filmed prostitution.

Pornē stands for prostitute; graphia stands for documentation. And prostitution was nobody’s childhood dream, it is always a result of trouble and distress.

Now, I became aware of that gradually, when I was volunteering with men and women in prostitution, some of them victims of human traffic, serving aid in brothels, under the bridge and street corners. But you don’t really need to do all that in order to understand how this mechanism of porn and prostitution works.

Because porn is a genre – it’s not about erotica or healthy sexual communication. It is all about male domination of women, subordinance of women. Not only the sexual practice, but as a way of being, as a genderial hierarchy in this world.

If we would ask porn – if we were to ask porn, how does it define something as sexual? What qualifies, what defines something as sexual? Porn would laugh in our face. What defines sexual? Whatever men find arousing – men find it arousing to choke a woman – to have a brutal sex without one touch, hug, kiss, tender caress?

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Well then it is sexual. It arouses men to see a woman or child cry? It is sexual. It arouses men to rape a woman; well, then it is sexual.

In every mainstream porn gallery on the web, we can find the rape category side by side with the humiliation category, abuse category, crime category and so on. And this is all as if this regular porn is not already filled with these motives. Even in its mildest version, the mildest version of porn, what porn is showing us like, I know, 80%, maybe 90% of the time is actually sex with no hands involved. This is not how we authentically desire.

Sorry, I’ll repeat that, I see your look. Sex with no hands involved. Okay.

If you and I are not going to give up watching porn, the next thing you do watch just you just notice that porn cameras have no interest in capturing any normal sensual activities such as petting, caressing, making out, touching, hugging, kissing. No.

What porn cameras are into is the penetration. So normally the composition will be a man and a woman, hopefully just one, okay. So, one man and one woman. His penis is inside her. Don’t be picky. It doesn’t matter where inside. Somewhere inside. His penis is somewhere inside her, okay? And in order not to block the camera for doing this extreme close up on the penetration, he’s standing with his hands behind his back most of the time.

And the woman is in this – uncomfortable position and she needs to handle the penis inside her without damaging the hair or make up or look down on her because that’s money invested and time invested in her. Without disturbing his aggressive movement and mainly without blocking the cameras. So the result is that we got two people having sex different shapes and acrobatics or something. But they’re having sex when the only body parts that actually touch each other are the penis and the part being penetrated. No hands involved.

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