This Past Weekend: #658 w/ Mike Tyson (Transcript)

God gave you more than you can handle.

THEO VON: You think that God put too much power in your hands?

MIKE TYSON: No, no way. God broke me before he crowned me. Of course I’m going to be able to handle it. He doesn’t just say, “Hey, you’re a cool kid, take this.” He doesn’t do that.

Scars and the Netflix Documentary

THEO VON: You know, I’ve sat across from different folks, but nobody, I think, has had on their own face so many— like you have a lot of scars on you that are just built into you from wars, right? Do you ever look at your own face and know which ones are from which fights and stuff?

MIKE TYSON: I think, you know, listen, that’s interesting that you say that. I think it comes from accumulation of fighting. You know, you don’t wake up overnight and you got a line on your face. It comes after years and years of waking up and you say, “Oh, I got a line on my face.” Which was it? Which was the start? It started 10 years ago, but you just haven’t seen it yet.

THEO VON: Oh, so it kind of gets worn in, sort of?

MIKE TYSON: Absolutely. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

THEO VON: You have a documentary that’s coming out this year on Netflix, is that right?

MIKE TYSON: I believe so. I don’t know when it’s coming out, but I believe it’s coming out soon.

THEO VON: You’ve done a lot of documentaries. Did you feel different about this one? Do you feel like there’s something different to offer now to people that are going to consume it?

MIKE TYSON: That’s interesting that you say that. I’m going to give you an honest answer. There’s things that people believe that other people want to hear from me that I’ve been saying constantly since the beginning of interviews. So it’s more their perspective than it is my perspective. I may think it’s shit.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: They may think it’s a masterpiece.

THEO VON: No, I’m serious.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, no, I’m serious.

THEO VON: It’s all perspective, you know.

MIKE TYSON: Most of us don’t like ourselves up there that much, you know. But the people do, I guess, right? You can’t help it that everybody came to see you and you’re very popular. You can’t help that. Not your fault. You think it’s your fault really that you’re like this? No.

THEO VON: No, I think it’s interesting.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I think me too.

On Cus D’Amato and Finding a Home

THEO VON: Yeah, I can tell that you feel that way. If there was a time in your life that you could go back to and had a documentary crew, just in your own life, like in your childhood or anything, that you could just have that footage, what would it be?

MIKE TYSON: Would it be when I first met my mentor, Cus D’Amato? When I first—

THEO VON: You mean the first day?

MIKE TYSON: No, when I first got in trouble and I was in that juvenile detention. I was doing stuff there, and then I started boxing, I started changing my life, then I met him. That’s the part I wish he could come back. Yeah, I missed that.

THEO VON: What was it about it that—

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know. I had somebody I loved and they loved me.

THEO VON: How’d you know that he loved you?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, f*. Don’t even tell me. If anybody said something negative about me— oh God—

THEO VON: No, it’s okay. Look, it’s hard to know. Sometimes it’s hard to know.

MIKE TYSON: No, if anybody said something negative about me, he would attack them.

THEO VON: So he protected you. Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Then why do you have me talking about this bullshit? Stop, stop, stop, motherf*er. Stop, stop.

THEO VON: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

MIKE TYSON: Stop.

THEO VON: Shouldn’t we go back to the corners for a minute? No, I think it’s just interesting. Like, there’s times in your life where people come along and they kind of hold you up by the neck and, you know, kind of dry your cheeks and stuff like that. And give you a place to be.

MIKE TYSON: Everyone needs a mentor in their life. Everybody. Even if you got a bad mentor, that’s better than having no mentor.

Life With Cus: Structure, Discipline, and Love

THEO VON: What was it like with Cus outside of the ring? What was that energy? Because his family adopted you, or no?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: He did. Did you have your own room?

MIKE TYSON: Well, I had to earn that.

THEO VON: You did? You had to earn it?

MIKE TYSON: I had to earn that, yeah.

THEO VON: And how did you earn it? What was that like?

MIKE TYSON: I had to do my chores, had to get my grades up. I’m getting my C-minuses, so I’m getting D’s, now I’m getting B’s, I’m coming up. Teachers are writing nice letters back at home about how I’m improving, all that. So yeah, he loved that stuff.

THEO VON: And was there stuff around the house that you had to do? Like what kind of chores?

MIKE TYSON: I cleaned the dishes, I took out the garbage, I mopped and swept the floor. Yeah, I did the whole thing, man.

THEO VON: Like what was the different feeling that you got there, I guess?

MIKE TYSON: Well, I felt I had a home, and that was a structure I had doing my chores, me building my discipline up. After every training session, I had to mop and sweep the gym. Even when I was a big shot, being on the front cover of Sports Illustrated, taking all the pictures, boom, all day, the cameras, everybody looking at me. At the end of the day, I’m brooming them up through the gym.

THEO VON: Amen. When Cus— because he passed away— how long was he in your life for?

MIKE TYSON: Since I was 12, so until I was 19.

THEO VON: And when your career grew, did it put any— like, was it harder to be close to him? Like, did you get so busy that it was tougher to—

MIKE TYSON: You know, let me explain something. He was like my father. He was my adopted father, legally adopted father. I wasn’t out of his sight much. He didn’t let me out of his sight much. He watched who I hung out with. He was my everything. If anybody said something negative about me, it was X, Y, Z, he got to duck and he’s the one to punch. He was just like that.

THEO VON: And had you felt that before in your life, you think, or no?

MIKE TYSON: Never, never. If he told me to kill somebody, I would. No, I’m telling you, that’s how it was. That’s how deep it was. He said kill that boy, he’s dead.

THEO VON: Yeah, tight shit, man. People, hey, people gotta go.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, no, but that’s it. I’m just keeping it real. That’s real talk.

THEO VON: So the connection was that it was just that much?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, it’s true.

THEO VON: After he passed away, did you try to find like another custom, like custom model?

MIKE TYSON: Nobody else like him.

THEO VON: But was there a part of you that was looking for something like that?

MIKE TYSON: Not like that. No, it doesn’t exist.

THEO VON: That part was filled in? Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: He was born only for me.

THEO VON: He was what?

MIKE TYSON: He was born only for me.

THEO VON: Oh, you feel like he was made for you? Oh, that’s awesome. And he probably felt that about you, I bet.

MIKE TYSON: Well, I hope so. I hope so.

THEO VON: Have you had the opportunity to try and be that for somebody else in your life? Do you feel like you have some of the same capabilities that he had? It takes a special person to be that type of person, and we’re all special in different ways.

MIKE TYSON: I’m nowhere near the person that he was. No, we’re born from two different structures and fibers. He’s just a total disciplinarian. He almost wants to be perfect. He hardly makes any mistakes around people. He won’t do anything. He just wants to be right at every moment. He puts himself in position to be right. I could say megalomaniac, but he was just a disciplinarian person.

Sometimes he’d go when you’re out eating, he just, “It’s all I have, I’ll stop eating for a week.”

THEO VON: I’m sorry, I’m going to move your mic.

MIKE TYSON: He just may start to stop. He just may stop eating for a week. Just stop. Just stop. My wife did the same s*. You got this on your lip.

THEO VON: And Mike, she was flagging him from back there.

MIKE TYSON: Was she really?

THEO VON: She was.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, that’s some bullshit.

THEO VON: I knew that, right?

MIKE TYSON: You see, I knew that s. I know that s.

THEO VON: Kiki, do you love me? She loves you.

MIKE TYSON: Oh s*.

THEO VON: That’s what it’s like if you love somebody, you got to keep them clean, you know.

MIKE TYSON: I hear you.

THEO VON: Can you say that last part though? He was such a disciplinarian. Was he disciplined in his own life? Like, did he—

MIKE TYSON: He was in the Army, he was in World War II.

THEO VON: Okay, so he almost had an institutionalized disciplinarian.

MIKE TYSON: Like, if I’m going to the school dance and it’s like, what, 3 miles away? And the taxi’s a little later. I say, “The taxi’s going to be a little late.” He says, “I can’t stay up for you, run home now.” I went to the girl, moved away from the cab. I said, “Baby, you got to wait for the cab.” I got my shoes, I’m running home.

THEO VON: Did you really?

MIKE TYSON: I got to run home.

THEO VON: Yeah, and in dress shoes, probably for the dance.

MIKE TYSON: I got to run, I got to run home, get home now, run. Click, click, click, click, click, click.

THEO VON: Dang, right? It’s hard to keep a girl when you acting like that.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, I was too— yeah, I was extreme. It was hard to have a girl. I was too extreme with training.

Young Mike Tyson and His Relationship with Girls

THEO VON: What was your relationship like? Was it easy for you to relate to girls when you were young, like to date and that kind of stuff?

MIKE TYSON: It was— listen, it was all about fighting. It was all about fighting.

THEO VON: Oh, so you really weren’t even trying to date or anything as a youngster?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I dated kind of late in life. I just fell in love with fighting. I talk to a girl, I’m talking about fighting, she’s talking about what?

THEO VON: Yeah, they don’t want to see you shadowboxing. They want to hug. I mean, they like the part when the ref tries to separate you.

MIKE TYSON: No, they don’t mind seeing me shadowboxing, but they want to talk deep. I want to talk about fighting.

THEO VON: You loved it that much. What made—

MIKE TYSON: I loved it, I loved it.

THEO VON: Why was it such a magnet for you, do you think, fighting?

MIKE TYSON: I think because when I was young and I watched some of the big-time fights, it was just the way the crowd rooted for people’s names. I wanted them to root my name one day.

Believing in Greatness

THEO VON: Yeah. That’s cool, huh? Did you feel like— because it’s interesting, some people have this feeling they need, they want somebody to see them, right? Or they want to have a say in the world. Like, did you feel like you were missing part of that? Like, were you not being seen?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, I guess when Cus told me I’m the greatest fighter since the beginning of life, he told me that at 12.

THEO VON: And you believed him?

MIKE TYSON: Yes.

THEO VON: Because you trusted him?

MIKE TYSON: Yes.

THEO VON: Wow, that’s pretty powerful that you’d be able to envelop that that much.

MIKE TYSON: How can you pick a kid 12 years old, tell him you’re the greatest fighter in the world? You’re looking at him like he’s some old pervert guy trying to do something. I’m a thief, I’m a crook. How am I some f*ing world’s greatest fighter of all time? So I thought this is some kind of trick the youth center was trying to pull on me.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, yeah, those youth centers.

MIKE TYSON: So this guy turned out to be the real deal, and I turned out to be Mike— whatever the f* people think I am. Yeah, yeah. So he was the real deal.

Childhood and Family

THEO VON: Do you think if you hadn’t had— because I’ve heard you talk about being scared as a kid and having your mother pass away when you were young. We don’t have to talk about some of that. I’m just saying things that I—

MIKE TYSON: You can talk about anything.

THEO VON: Okay. Those are just some things that I know about you, right? I don’t know you, but those are things that I know about you.

MIKE TYSON: You may think you know about me, you’ll figure them out now.

THEO VON: Okay, let’s go. Oh, ding, ding, ding. All right, all right, all right. Thank you, Mike. Thank you for spending time with us and with me.

MIKE TYSON: Thank you. I didn’t think I was going to like you. You’re really a good brother.

THEO VON: Really?

MIKE TYSON: Thanks, bro. I appreciate that.

THEO VON: My wife told me, “Don’t judge him, don’t judge him.” I was feeling the way I am. I said, “Don’t judge him, don’t judge him.”

THEO VON: She’s got— you could tell she has a good soul, your wife.

MIKE TYSON: Yes, she did. She believes in you.

THEO VON: Do you think that if you’d have had the things you needed as a child, right? Like the things that every child needs—

MIKE TYSON: I don’t want that. Stay away from me. Keep that s* away from me. I like to suffer.

THEO VON: You like the way it went?

MIKE TYSON: I love to suffer. I don’t want no good time.

THEO VON: Right.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: Oh, you like the discomfort?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, yes. I like being out of me, getting out of my comfort zone.

THEO VON: But if you’d have had those— like, if you had the stereotypical things that people—

MIKE TYSON: I would be a bitch.

THEO VON: Would you have been the heavyweight champion of the world?

MIKE TYSON: No.

THEO VON: Wow.

MIKE TYSON: The heavyweight bitch of the world.

THEO VON: I know. I’d be wearing slippers during the day, probably.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, my mother would baby me, wouldn’t allow me to fight and all that stuff. Nah, it wasn’t meant for me to have my mother.

THEO VON: Did she baby you as a kid? Like, what was she like?

MIKE TYSON: She was a drunk, she was a prostitute, but she was who she was.

THEO VON: You know, my mom had like an issue when I was a kid. Like she couldn’t look at me because—

MIKE TYSON: Why? What’s wrong with you?

THEO VON: God, I know.

MIKE TYSON: What’s wrong with you? You know something that we don’t know?

THEO VON: I don’t know s*. But something was wrong with her. Like, when my mom was growing up, her dad would make them put his food under the door. He would not talk to my mom for months at a time. And he would go in and out of their house through the window.

MIKE TYSON: That sounds like a mental illness.

THEO VON: Yeah, right. A mental illness for sure.

MIKE TYSON: What they call now a mental illness.

THEO VON: Right, right. At the time, yeah, it was just like kind of a reverse drive-through dinner. Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: I think I’m going to do that, I swear.

THEO VON: But anyway, I’m just saying like there was just— so early on I realized I got to take care of myself, right? Like, and I don’t know if that was the truth, but inside of myself I made that decision. Like I probably was a kid for maybe 45 seconds and since then I was an adult. I don’t care if I was 2 months old. Does that make any sense to you?

MIKE TYSON: Exactly. My wife is kind of shamanic, and she believes that we ask for our parents. And then when I start believing, I said, “If I didn’t have the parents I had, I would never be me.” I said, “She might have something.” I never tell her, I’m saying it now. She may have something there. I did pick those parents. If I didn’t have those parents, I would be f*ed up. Yeah, she might be right.

THEO VON: What’s a nice memory that you have with your mom that was like something that you think about, that was like kind of a moment that you cherish?

MIKE TYSON: It was one Christmas Day, and her birthday was on Christmas.

THEO VON: Your mother’s birthday was on Christmas?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know how we got some money, but it was just a festival. Her and her friends, they had food there, and we was eating food, and we have never had that much food before. And I don’t know how they got the money.

THEO VON: I know it was something skullduggery, but I’m sure— a little bit of skullduggery.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, so something that broke the law, but it was just a great moment, you know. And that’s what I was accustomed to. I was accustomed to the pimps, the criminals, the stick-up guys, the robbers, all being over my mother’s house, because we were the house of crime. I lived in a house of crime.

THEO VON: Where did you sleep? Did you have your own room?

MIKE TYSON: No, come on, I slept on the floor on a blanket somewhere.

THEO VON: Dang.

MIKE TYSON: The beds are for the Johns. For the Johns, yeah, exactly. I was going to say for the tricks, but yeah, the Johns, the beds belong to them. We got a bed, you for real? I don’t know if my brothers and sisters heard me, they bring back memories to them of a bad trip.

THEO VON: You slept on each other’s backs. One person had to lay down flat and the other person got to sleep.

MIKE TYSON: We didn’t do that. We slept on different parts of the floor, but you know, you had to— if it’s hot, you had the air conditioning, then you turn the big fan.

THEO VON: Oh dude, I remember our mom— my mom would only let it be 80 degrees in the house, right? And I’m like, well that— and at the time when I was a kid, I didn’t know that that’s pretty warm, right?

And so we would go get the cold water and we would just put it all over the sheet and then we would lay on it like that. Make a little beach, go to Florida. But it was fun.

MIKE TYSON: Listen, right? Poverty is just so beautiful sometimes.

THEO VON: If you can laugh at it, it’s hilarious.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, it is.

THEO VON: We had some fun.

MIKE TYSON: Nothing more funny than poverty. Oh, dude, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t care how rich or famous you get, it still affects you. Don’t care how big you get. Remember this? It comes out. Do you remember this, bro?

THEO VON: I’ll tell you something. It’s a little racial, but let’s do it because—

MIKE TYSON: Go for it.

Growing Up Poor

THEO VON: We used to live like— people would burn their trash in the ditch, right? And so me and my buddy William, we would get out there and my buddy Larry, and we would get all wet and we would run and jump through the smoke in the ditch until we were pretty darker-ish, right?

And then, bro, we would kind of wait until somebody drove by and yelled the N-word at us.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, the N-word. I hate to say it. Say ner. Say ner. You don’t say N-word for a bh. Say ner. All these people drove by and called us n*ers. Wait, hold on.

THEO VON: Do you need me to say? If you need, I’m just, I don’t want to do something. I can’t tell what’s going on here, to be honest with you. I mean, I’ll jump through some.

MIKE TYSON: I just need to say one thing and I’d be ashamed. All right?

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Say I’m a n*a lover.

THEO VON: You need me to say it?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah. Say I’m a n*a lover. Go ahead, man.

THEO VON: But does it mean all of kind of, a little bit.

MIKE TYSON: God, even a rotten one.

THEO VON: I don’t know. I don’t know if people think I should do it or not.

MIKE TYSON: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Please, please, please, please. Come on, man, stop fing the show up, man. You fing the show up, man.

THEO VON: You right, bro. Dang, dude.

MIKE TYSON: S*.

THEO VON: I just— what can I say, bro? I’m a lover, bro.

MIKE TYSON: God is great, brother. God is great. God is great.

THEO VON: Now hold on. No, who is cheering for this?

MIKE TYSON: I love this show. I love this f*in’ show.

THEO VON: Oh f*, are we going to jail or not?

MIKE TYSON: Are we okay?

THEO VON: Another knockout for Mike. Here comes the podcast. It’s because he’s got a new podcast, he’s trying to get me off the charts, that’s why. My people are going to be disappointed.

MIKE TYSON: And he’s scared to say na, motherfer.

THEO VON: I don’t know if those are the same things. Oh.

MIKE TYSON: Man, that na love that na py the motherfer. I’m sorry, forgive me, guys. Hold on. I’m sorry.

THEO VON: I mean, I don’t know. I’ve had a little. I don’t, you know, I don’t—

MIKE TYSON: A little what?

THEO VON: Huh?

MIKE TYSON: You have a little or did you have a little?

THEO VON: I don’t know. I think we should move on. You know what time it is, you know what time it is.

Good Times and Janet Jackson

MIKE TYSON: Let’s keep it on up, moving on up. Okay, moving on up to the sky.

THEO VON: Remember that? So, dude, remember when Good Times was popping, bro?

MIKE TYSON: It was really good time, dude.

THEO VON: I’ll tell you a story. So I’m in the airport one time, right? Jimmy Walker, the actor from Good Times, right? One of the great comedians. He’s walking in the airport, somebody starts yelling dynamite at him.

The police thought it was like a terrorist. Yeah, they didn’t see him. Oh, they just see a couple, a couple of b*hes yelling dynamite and they just jumped on them, bro. And I laughed. I didn’t— I could have helped and told people what was going on, but I had to— I was in a hurry, you know, I had to get to Cincinnati.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, good times.

THEO VON: That was a good show, dude. Janet Jackson was on there.

MIKE TYSON: Yes.

THEO VON: Did you ever get to meet Janet?

MIKE TYSON: Yes, I have. I did have a chance to meet Janet.

Meeting Michael Jackson

THEO VON: And you— someone said— this is a rumor that I heard— that you and Michael Jackson closed down SeaWorld one night and had a party there. Is that true?

MIKE TYSON: This is not true at all.

THEO VON: It’s not true. Don King told me that.

MIKE TYSON: He’s a liar.

THEO VON: I’m joking. He didn’t tell me that, but we knew if he did, he’d have lied about it.

MIKE TYSON: He tells the truth by accident. Yeah. I just got one side.

THEO VON: He tells the truth by accident. Hey man.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: It is what it is, dude. But no, did you actually get to spend time with Michael Jackson? Because he’s such a— yeah, what was he like as a person?

MIKE TYSON: A splendid, beautiful person. Hidden behind all that stuff, he was a beautiful, calm, humble person. And I didn’t like him for a long time because my friend had called me. He said, hey Mike, I’m okay. This is one of Mike’s, producers.

He said, hey man, I’m over Mike’s house. And once he said, f that man, he disrespected me. He did that. Nah, man, f that, man.

THEO VON: Jackson said all that?

MIKE TYSON: I said that.

THEO VON: Oh, okay.

MIKE TYSON: And then my friend went like this. He said, “Really? He asked for me to call you.” I said, “I’ll be right there.” Boom! I was right in the middle of the house.

THEO VON: What was he like? Was he just like a—

MIKE TYSON: He was very shy. He was very humble. He was at the end of his— you know, he was dealing with that bad stuff, that child stuff. He was dealing with that. He was really— and no, only with four people at the house, no friends, so kind of— and it was just him, I got to know him. Ask about Tupac!

THEO VON: But I’m doing fine.

MIKE TYSON: I love you, man. You’re beautiful. I thought you was going to be some mullet redneck. You’re beautiful, man. You’re beautiful.

THEO VON: I’m doing all right. I just, I feel lucky to be here with you today, man.

MIKE TYSON: Beautiful.

THEO VON: Do you think Michael was, that he, do you think he was involved in that kind of stuff when you got to know him? Did you ever feel that about him or no?

MIKE TYSON: I had a different opinion about him once I got to know him.

THEO VON: Got it.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, totally different opinion.

The Concert Incident

THEO VON: Dude, I read somewhere, actually I didn’t read it, I’m lying to you. One of my friends told me that like he had some girls with him and you was like inquiring, are these your girlfriends? And he said, “Get your own b*hes,” to you.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, he did.

THEO VON: No, I’m not, I’m saying that—

MIKE TYSON: I’m going to tell you what happened.

THEO VON: Please do.

MIKE TYSON: I went to a Michael Jackson concert with Don K. He had said, “Come, come, come, come to Cleveland and meet my babies and we going to see Michael.” So he called me, I went to see.

So we walk into the show, it’s the last song. We walk into the arena, we walk down the middle of the aisle, he goes like this to Don King. Don King puts his hand up, I go like this, and he puts his hand down. And I say to myself, I know Mike didn’t just do this.

And I said, no, he don’t know. He is— he’s the big— he’s performing, he can’t be thinking about me. Of course not me. So I go in the back, and I’m in the back, this whole staff is just loving me, loving the band guy gave me his stick. Everybody’s all over me.

Mike’s at the corner chilling like this with the door open, I guess he’s waiting for a car, he’s going to jump in the car. And everybody told me, I say, I think let me go over there and say hi to Mike, you know, because I want to go see if it was a good night.

I go over there, before I say anything, he goes, where did I know you from? This is the biggest moment in my life. I just see Michael speaking, the whole world’s talking about nothing but me, and he looks at me, where did I know you from? You look familiar. Where did I know you from?

And I said, nowhere, Mr. Jackson, I’m just a fan. I said, you motherf*er. I said, that was a good one. I hate him ever since. I hated him ever since. If my friend didn’t call me to come over the house and said, Mike called you, I would have never— I would have been hating him now.

Wow. I can’t believe he said that. I was just a little kid. He said that to me.

THEO VON: You think he was joking?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, he was dead serious. Wow. He was dead serious.

THEO VON: You think he was very competitive?

MIKE TYSON: He was. Mike is too competitive. He’s not friendly with nobody. Yeah, especially not in the music business. If you don’t bend the knee, you got to bend the knee for Mike.

Whitney Houston, Prison Visits, and Famous Friends

THEO VON: Well, yeah, he didn’t even— he wasn’t friendly even with Black folks. He freaking ended up white. You got to be on, you know what I’m saying? You got to have an issue if you want to—

MIKE TYSON: Hey, but listen, everybody’s going that route now. I’ve seen a bunch of athletes and singers go that route. Yeah, the Black turned white route.

THEO VON: Yep, that’s it. Hey, Red Rover, Red Rover, come on, you know, send them over, bro.

MIKE TYSON: Passing is passing.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if, like, and some of this is just like lore stuff, what about Whitney Houston? Did you ever get to meet her?

MIKE TYSON: I knew Whitney very well. No way. Yeah, I knew Whitney very well.

THEO VON: Was she so cute?

MIKE TYSON: She came to visit me in prison. When I was in prison, she came to visit me.

THEO VON: She did?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, one of my good friends.

THEO VON: And when was that, when you were in prison in New York?

MIKE TYSON: No, motherf*er, I’m up in Indianapolis. It’s cold.

THEO VON: I was just checking to see if you remember where you were in prison at.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I have a lot of— listen, I had a lot of really interesting visitors. A lot of really interesting people.

THEO VON: Whitney came to visit you? Did she sing for you or anything like that, or did she just come and spend time?

MIKE TYSON: No, she just came and she brought her family. Her and the family came and they hung out with me.

THEO VON: Who else came to visit you?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know, quite a few people. You have to name some names or something.

THEO VON: What about Michael Landon?

MIKE TYSON: He was dead, man.

THEO VON: God, was he dead?

MIKE TYSON: He was dead then. I see he had cancer back then. So listen, Patrick Swayze, he was dead too, I think.

THEO VON: What? Why all the white people die in your stories? I’m starting to notice this, Miley.

Florence Henderson and the Hole

MIKE TYSON: Hey, Florence Henderson came. No way. She came, yes. But listen to this, she came to visit me. But I’m locked in the hole. I had to fight with one of the guards, so I’m not going to come out. If you come out the hole, you got to come out chained. So I said, I’m not going to come out like that. I asked her to forgive me. I didn’t want to do that, because you would have—

THEO VON: It would have just— you didn’t want her to see you like that.

MIKE TYSON: I didn’t want to see me in shackles and my feet and all that crap. It looks crazy.

THEO VON: Yeah. When they put you into the hole, so I know it was like 23 hours of darkness, right? And then 1 hour of light, or vice versa, the other way?

MIKE TYSON: No, they leave the light on all night.

THEO VON: Oh, the light’s on all night?

MIKE TYSON: Light on.

THEO VON: Oh, that’s good. I mean, it at least in case you get up or whatever.

MIKE TYSON: It gives you a f*ing headache. Oh yeah. Yeah, 24 hours a day for like what, 10 weeks? Uh-uh. Yeah.

THEO VON: What starts to happen to somebody in there? Like, is it anything helpful?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, the peace, the solitude is healthy, very healthy, the solitude.

On Solitude, Self-Relationship, and Recovery

THEO VON: And what’s—

MIKE TYSON: Most of us, believe it or not, are not able to be by ourselves for a long period of time. You know, we haven’t developed a relationship with ourselves where we adore ourselves. We can’t stop being up and stop being in our own presence. And I guess that’s the way to be, constant happiness and love. Even though we go through the bad s*, make that beautiful too.

THEO VON: Yeah, I think, I don’t know, in my life, I feel like my whole life I was waiting for somebody to show up, right? I don’t even really exactly know who it was. But then like recently I’m realizing that I think I’m just waiting for me to show up. Does that make any sense to you?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t want to ask you that because you have to get, I mean, that’s your narrative. How does that guy appear? How do you make that guy appear?

THEO VON: Right. The first thing that I’m learning for myself, and some of this is pretty recent, is just like having some integrity. Like, you know, if I say I’m— ’cause if I say I’m going to do something and I don’t, I hear myself do that, right? And so after a while, I don’t even believe myself. I think after a while I quit even listening to myself. ‘Cause it’s like, well, how many times am I going to lead myself on, you know? I don’t know if that’s exactly true, but I think that’s the best answer I have for that.

MIKE TYSON: It’s always the higher power. It’s always the higher power. ‘Cause I’m from the world that you come from as well, you know, the recovery world. And it’s a battle. It’s about some guys sober for 20 years, all of a sudden, boom, they go to drugs and kill themselves. It’s a constant battle. No one’s ever a winner to the end of the day, until it’s over and we’re dead. Then you won.

If you ever do any drugs and you beat the system that was killing you, you go die, boom. But sometimes these guys stop using drugs for 30 years and go back. Yeah, you know, I mean, you just can’t believe it. So you’re never safe.

THEO VON: Okay, you’re never safe.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, nobody’s going to get out of here alive. I learned that in rehab.

On Death, God, and the Next Adventure

THEO VON: Yeah, it kind of makes it exciting, doesn’t it? It’s kind of funny as you get out of here alive. As you get older, one of the things that gets a little bit exciting is dying because it’s a new adventure.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t listen.

THEO VON: Does that make sense?

MIKE TYSON: That makes too much sense. I find death is another part of life we just never experienced yet. You know, if life is good, how could death be bad? Be honest. If God loves us, how could death really be bad? If we look at God the way we believe him to be, how could death be bad if he created it?

THEO VON: If we didn’t think it was final, then how would we behave in this time that we’re here?

MIKE TYSON: Well, listen, God prepares us, the universe prepares us for death. You know, little by little, we lose our friends, we lose people we care about, we lose our hair, we lose our teeth, we lose our life. It’s nothing that happens spontaneous, you know, it’s meant to be.

THEO VON: Yeah, we lose our ability to be around Black people safely because I’ve said the N-word in here. Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: No, you know what I mean? Black people love you. You’re a na lover, you’re not a na hater.

THEO VON: Hey, that’s a good point, bro. Thanks for looking out for me.

MIKE TYSON: I hope that— I hope they’re not able to cancel you on this show, because s, we talked about nas. Hey, nas always got people canceling. Oh, it never fails. The na will get you. The word n*a.

THEO VON: Oh, it’s great to see some equality at last. Are you sometimes amazed, like, when you look at your life, how much grace God has had in your life?

MIKE TYSON: I realized that, if you don’t believe in God, look at me, because I should not be right here talking to you.

THEO VON: No, you probably did not, man.

MIKE TYSON: Listen, listen, no, really, what I’m— I said, yes, God did a really dirty trick. He allowed me to live to be 60. Goddamn, if I knew I was going to be 60, I’d have played the game. Yes, sir. No, ma’am. Yes, sir. I’d have said, f you, suck my d, f you. I went that route instead. You f. Imagine 60 years of yes, sir, how you doing, ma’am? You know?

THEO VON: Oh, I’d walk right up to heaven like this, bro. I’d walk right into heaven, man. Sit at my table. Yeah, if I’d have been— yeah, I think there’s something about like when you feel like you’re doing everything yourself. Like, did you feel like that as a kid? Like, everything, I’ll figure this out, I’ll handle it. Like, did you have that like chip on your shoulder? Do you feel like—

Cus D’Amato’s Lessons and the Champion’s Mindset

MIKE TYSON: Mentor, when I had my mentor, he told me not to ever say anything negative about myself.

THEO VON: Really?

MIKE TYSON: I want to say beautiful things about myself.

THEO VON: Cus D’Amato taught you that?

MIKE TYSON: Yes.

THEO VON: And what did he tell you exactly?

MIKE TYSON: I always say beautiful things about myself and never say anything negative about myself because my subconscious don’t know if I’m playing or not. Yeah.

THEO VON: It’s pretty— isn’t it wild how there’s something—

MIKE TYSON: No, but I learned that at 12 years old. I had to learn that at 12 to be the champion at 20. You know, if I learned it at 15, 16, hey, it probably wouldn’t have worked out. Then I’d have been champion at 22, probably.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: So everything worked out for the right reason.

The Walk to the Ring

THEO VON: What was one of the hardest walks to the ring you ever had to make?

MIKE TYSON: All the walks are the same, pretty much. You know, it becomes a routine.

THEO VON: Was there one that like you didn’t want it, or things that changed, or you were like— I don’t know, I’ve never been a fighter.

MIKE TYSON: I always wanted it because every time I got in the ring, when I lost, my life changed. Change and a good perspective for my family, right?

THEO VON: You’re providing for your family for sure.

MIKE TYSON: That’s all I know how to do.

Growing Up and the First Fight

THEO VON: When did you become an adult?

MIKE TYSON: Excuse me? Well, that happened late in life. Yeah, that happened real late in life, man. I can’t even tell you, man. I wouldn’t know. Probably, who, what, 45 or something?

THEO VON: Oh dude, I freaking wet the bed when I was 27.

MIKE TYSON: That’s mental illness. That’s mental illness.

THEO VON: Yeah. Yeah, it is. But they don’t say that. They just call you Mr. Drippy Drop or whatever.

MIKE TYSON: No, they don’t call you mental illness. Pithy. Pithy Cool. Hey, Pithy Cool, come down.

THEO VON: They call you Lil Yellow Boy.

MIKE TYSON: Hey, Yellow Boy.

THEO VON: But yeah, but what do you think made you start to turn, like, finally, like, I have to, I got to grow up, or something happened? I’m becoming an adult.

MIKE TYSON: Because some guys took my pigeons and bullied me, and that was the first time I fought back, and it was like love at first fight. I never stopped fighting ever since.

THEO VON: Some guys, they took and they ripped my bird’s head off. What?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, he was a dirty kind of guy back then.

THEO VON: You remember him?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: Who was he?

MIKE TYSON: Gary Flowers.

THEO VON: F* him.

MIKE TYSON: Never forget his name.

THEO VON: How could he do it?

MIKE TYSON: You know, he’s a young kid back then, rotten guy, being a bully. I was a little fat kid, they bullied me all the time.

THEO VON: Yeah, but even if I saw a kid that was kind of like, had some glandular issues or whatever, I’m not going to break a bird’s neck.

MIKE TYSON: It’s just, that’s all about humiliating people.

THEO VON: Oh, it was like a humiliation thing. Right, I’m going to make you feel this way. Oh, did you ever get him back?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, I beat the dog s* out of him. Yeah. And that’s the best thing happened, because every day I fought. I must have fought 3 times a day. I couldn’t stop fighting. I loved it so much.

THEO VON: And were you having trouble finding people to fight?

MIKE TYSON: Oh no, they used to bring people for me to fight for money.

THEO VON: Oh really?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

Weed, Candy, and Early Hustles

THEO VON: And so who would get the money?

MIKE TYSON: The guy would say, listen, if you win, you get this much. If you lose, you get this much.

THEO VON: So no matter what, you made some money.

MIKE TYSON: You made some money.

THEO VON: What’s the first thing you kind of bought when you got a little money?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know, some weed and some candy.

THEO VON: Yeah, weed and candy, bruh. That’s what I’m talking about, bruh.

MIKE TYSON: Gotta have them munchies ready for them munchies. That Now and Later. You ever eat Now and Later?

THEO VON: Dude, yeah, but they make your teeth stick together.

MIKE TYSON: I know, but it’s good when you’re high.

THEO VON: Yeah, you’re right.

MIKE TYSON: You’re high, you don’t mind. You know, you got to talk and then your teeth is out within the gum. You ever did that before? Teeth is out in the mouth.

THEO VON: Oh, the shape of your teeth are in them? Yeah, that sh was cool, bro. I like that sh, man. I really like that, man.

The Brad Pitt Story

MIKE TYSON: You ever have some black pussy? What is— All right, I’m just asking, guys. It’s between me and them. Please don’t respond.

THEO VON: I mean, I’ve had— yeah, I mean, during the holidays one time I have— I had a little. That’s true.

MIKE TYSON: I’m not talking about no Jewish girl with a great tan.

THEO VON: I mean a black girl. Oh, I’m talking about some real— yeah, some of that freaking— yeah, I’m just saying, I’m just trying to think. I— yes, I had some. I had— I’ve had a little. I’ve had a little. I have had— I have, actually.

MIKE TYSON: Meaning that you put halfway in and then you put it all the way in? What is that little? You put it in a little or you put it in a lot? Or it’s a little when you put it in?

THEO VON: It doesn’t go in a lot.

MIKE TYSON: Oh.

THEO VON: It’s more the hokey pokey.

MIKE TYSON: Okay. You go in, she comes out.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I’ve had a little, man. I’ve had a little and I’ve— yeah, I would get some more. I would, yeah, I’d get some more sometime. You know, what kind of Black woman you dream about f*ing though?

MIKE TYSON: What’s the body shape? Name somebody’s body shape.

THEO VON: Well, some Black women, you f them and they f back kind of, you know? They got that vagina kind of, it’ll f* you back, you know? It’s almost like when you—

MIKE TYSON: The last 100 years ago that I f*ed a white girl, she did that too. She did the same thing.

THEO VON: But I almost tried to— I was flirting with this black lady that worked at the airport for a while, but they said move along eventually.

MIKE TYSON: Did you get tickets? Do you get free flights? No, I did not. Why you mess with her then? I ain’t going to have— I’m not going to date no girl at the airport and I’m not getting free flights, man.

THEO VON: Yeah, you’re right, you’re right. I don’t know. Look, man, maybe you’ll set me up with a good gal that you know.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know any good girls, but I know a good time. I know good girls that give you a good time.

THEO VON: Did you ever have like a— because Hollywood, people steal people’s spouse or girlfriends, boyfriends. Did you ever have somebody steal a girlfriend of yours here?

MIKE TYSON: I’m sure they did, but I just don’t know about it.

THEO VON: Yeah. I feel bad actually, because I was saying that question, but I knew another question I was going to ask. Somebody said that Brad Pitt stole a girlfriend of yours one time.

MIKE TYSON: No. Oh, that’s an interesting story. Yeah. All right. No, he didn’t steal. Still up for me, but me and my wife was going through a divorce. We weren’t getting back, but we were still f*ing, right?

THEO VON: Okay.

MIKE TYSON: We were always fing every night. We were still fing. Then we fighting in the paper, then we fing at night. But one day I went over her house to f her. She wasn’t home, nobody. And then driving up the road with the BMW that I bought her, and she had some— I thought it was one of her friends from Head of the Class, but it wasn’t one of her friends. It was some n*a Brad Pitt trying to get some head.

THEO VON: That’s— yeah, so that honky was with her.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, white motherf*er.

THEO VON: Damn, damn, bro. That honky was trying to slide, huh?

MIKE TYSON: The dirty dog. I love you.

THEO VON: The fact that we got to call Brad Pitt a honky is f*ing hilarious, bro.

MIKE TYSON: He’s beautiful, brother.

THEO VON: But you caught him in the driveway?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, he was beautiful. I was just— I think that—

THEO VON: Did you punk him a little?

MIKE TYSON: No.

THEO VON: I guess— yeah, he is Brad Pitt. At least if your girl’s going to be with somebody— if it’s Brad Pitt, that’s okay.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But he wasn’t Brad Pitt yet.

THEO VON: Oh, he wasn’t Brad Pitt yet?

MIKE TYSON: I didn’t know what the f* he was.

THEO VON: He was just Brad?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah. And she was driving him. He didn’t even have a car.

THEO VON: That’s some Brad sh. Brad never got a car, bro. Name 7 Brads that have cars, bro. None of them bastards got it.

On Love, Trouble, and Being Irreplaceable

THEO VON: Have you been good at being in love, you think, over your life?

MIKE TYSON: I’ve gotten so much trouble being in love in my life. And the love is— love is so many entities, you know what I mean?

THEO VON: Love has been— you gotten in so much trouble.

MIKE TYSON: No, I don’t have trouble with love. I have trouble with me. Love has nothing to do with it.

THEO VON: Love has trouble with you?

MIKE TYSON: No, it’s me with the trouble. I have no— love has no beef with me. Love’s supposed to do what it does. I’m supposed to do what I do, you know, and that’s what we do.

THEO VON: You think you’re hard to love or not? Huh? You think you’re hard to love?

MIKE TYSON: I think I’m a quiet taste. Yeah. I’m humble enough to know that I could be replaced, but I’m confident to know that nobody in the world is like me.

Being Bigger Than Yourself

THEO VON: That’s true, man. Did it ever become like— being Mike Tyson, being Iron Mike Tyson, being this— when you become bigger than you, how did that affect you as a person?

MIKE TYSON: I know the truth that I’m never big. I don’t never— that’s just some form of imagination really, being some big star. I know who I am. I know what I’ve accomplished in life, the good, the bad, you know, but there’s not many people— listen, I walk with poverty and I sit with presidents, you know. There’s not too many things I haven’t done in my life, you know, so I just take my life day by day. I don’t make too many plans, you know.

Mike’s Marriage to Kiki

THEO VON: I met your wife now, Kiki.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, very interesting person, huh?

THEO VON: I’m going to say she’s a beautiful, nice lady. You can say she’s a very interesting person. She is very interesting, I’m sure. I don’t know her well. She seems very— she has very kind eyes and she seems like she really cares about you. So those are things that I noticed. And you guys have some beautiful children. I saw some of them. One of them, I think, is here. Maybe two.

MIKE TYSON: Two of them.

THEO VON: Michael.

MIKE TYSON: Miguel.

THEO VON: But—

MIKE TYSON: Miguel.

THEO VON: Miguel. Lo siento.

MIKE TYSON: Milan.

THEO VON: Milan.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: Kiki seems to just have like— she wants to make sure that you’re okay, right? Is there like— or what’s it like now with this relationship? What’s this marriage like?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know, it’s too perfect. We need a little bullsh in that other thing. Yeah, we cool. We have a great connection, you know. We bullsh every now and then.

THEO VON: What’s something you really love about her?

MIKE TYSON: I just love her being a mother. She’s an awesome mother, awesome wife, and an all-around beautiful person. I really hit the jackpot with this monkey. She’s real precious.

THEO VON: Where did you meet Kiki at?

MIKE TYSON: I knew her since she was like 19, 18. Yeah.

THEO VON: Is she like a strong woman in the household? Like, what’s that kind of energy like? Like, does she make you get up early or anything?

MIKE TYSON: No, that’s the whole thing. I don’t have to move.

THEO VON: What’s that?

Mike’s Wife and the Power of Women

MIKE TYSON: With my wife, I don’t have to move. Yeah? Yeah, I don’t have to move. She takes care of me, everything. I got the real wife that cooks for me, brings my food to my plate. If I’m tired, she’ll feed me. I got it going on.

THEO VON: Oh, you got a queen, huh? That’s nice.

MIKE TYSON: Then she’s also my pet, and she’s also my tiger too. She’s my defender.

THEO VON: So she has that in her too. No, you got to have somebody that has that.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, you have to. There’s nobody has more fury than a woman. And that’s just in general. There’s nobody that fights more fierce than a woman.

THEO VON: Oh, dude, they can make a child. If you and I laid on our back for 9 months, we couldn’t make sh*t.

MIKE TYSON: No, no. They could listen, they could bleed 9 months and leave. We get a little cut on our hand, we get an infection and die. Women are a special breed.

THEO VON: Yeah, well, they’re wizards. They’re damn wizards, I’ll say that. But they are also a great breed.

MIKE TYSON: No, but that’s the biggest gift God could ever give us is a woman.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: The most precious gift God could ever give us is a woman.

THEO VON: Yeah, that’s the truth.

MIKE TYSON: I agree. I agree, man. Hey, this is our show.

Fatherhood and Fame

THEO VON: You heard the man. I think fathering and fame would seem like it’s really hard for me.

MIKE TYSON: How about your life?

THEO VON: I don’t have any children yet.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, God bless you, man. What? God bless you, because this doesn’t work well with children.

THEO VON: Well, I don’t want my— I don’t want things that I’ve said or done to influence my children’s life or people to look at them a certain way or have certain expectations out of them. But I don’t hear that that much. But your life has been at an insane amount of that. Like, what was that? Did it make it hard for you? Like, what was it like fathering and having your life, and the fame?

MIKE TYSON: My kids have a great life, and if they ever started complaining, they should think about, I should have had my father. Then they would have a right to complain. They do not have a right to complain. My kids go to the best schools the world can offer. They have the best opportunities the world can offer. It’s up to them to take advantage of it.

Cam Newton in Charlotte

THEO VON: Where was your father from?

MIKE TYSON: North Carolina.

THEO VON: Oh dude, no way. I’m going to freaking Wilmington this weekend.

MIKE TYSON: Charlotte. He’s from Charlotte.

THEO VON: Oh, Charlotte. Charlotte’s okay.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t—

THEO VON: I’m fine.

MIKE TYSON: I never been there.

THEO VON: You haven’t? I’m fine with it. I will tell you this story. So one time I was in Charlotte, right? And I hadn’t been there before. My friend and I were sitting on a patio. We were just getting something to eat. And I saw somebody pushing a baby carriage out there, right? And they were wearing like a couple of different shawls or like rugs, almost like a bunch of tapestries and stuff over them and over the carriage. And I thought it was like a homeless guy, like almost like a French homeless guy, right? Because he’s French. Well, just because of the elegance of the shawls and stuff, they seemed very Frenchish, very Frenchish. And it was freaking Cam Newton pushing his newborn down the street.

MIKE TYSON: Are you serious?

THEO VON: I swear, that is a true story, and that’s the truth. I keep looking. I’m like, damn, they got the most beautiful, elegant homeless around here. They really vibing. And then I saw people run up and get photos. And it was him. And he just had a newborn child. And he was taking him for a little afternoon stroll out there by the McCormick and Schmick’s out there.

Hair is Power

MIKE TYSON: You have anybody you’re in love with?

THEO VON: Do I have anybody I’m in love with? Yeah. I mean— No, I don’t care what you’re going to say. Nobody off the top of my head.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, you’re not with a woman right now?

THEO VON: No, I’m not with a woman right now.

MIKE TYSON: Are you not kicking it with no one right now?

THEO VON: I mean, you know what I’m saying?

MIKE TYSON: How old are you? How old are you?

THEO VON: I’m 46, dude. I’m an adult.

MIKE TYSON: You got the fing hair. You got that fing hair. As long as you got that hair, you got the advantage. Once that hair go, that hair is serious. That’s the biggest pussy advantage right there. The hair. It’s all about the hair.

THEO VON: If you’d had hair, you think you’d have been even more handsome?

MIKE TYSON: If I had hair, I wouldn’t be married. I’d be in lawsuits and all that sh*t.

THEO VON: You’d be in lawsuits? That’s crazy, bro.

MIKE TYSON: Hair is power. That’s why. When they did that about Samson, ’cause really hair is power.

THEO VON: Well, that’s what— even when they used to scout people and stuff and take their hair, they was taking the— that’s why I grew my hair.

MIKE TYSON: A lot of people think it represents power. That’s why they always trying to cut your hair, boy. You look like an animal. Cut your hair, cut your hair. Keep your f*ing hair.

THEO VON: Yeah, bitch, I want to be an animal.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, keep your fing hair. Because once you lose your hair, you go, oh, always wish I had it back. Some guys say it was in the way. No, it wasn’t in the way, motherfer. You wish you had your hair back.

THEO VON: It was the only thing that was in the way of you being a bitch. That’s the only thing it was, huh?

MIKE TYSON: Well, let that hair grow. Don’t care how much it grows. Let it grow.

THEO VON: Let it braid that sh*t.

MIKE TYSON: Let the people say, oh, you’re an animal, you can’t get a job. You can get a job with a lot of hair now.

THEO VON: Yeah, you can get a job at f*ing Target. You can get a job as a mechanic’s assistant.

MIKE TYSON: Anything, anything. That makes more money than the average person by far.

THEO VON: Yeah, bro, you could just brush your hair online and dudes will pay to watch you do it.

The Internet and a Changing World

MIKE TYSON: Yo, listen, that online thing. It’s either the best thing a pedophile could ever dream of, or else it’s the biggest hit in the world. One or the other.

THEO VON: It’s the worst, bro. Have you seen times change, bro? But like, how bad? Things are not bad, but things have just gotten so much different. It’s gotten away from the—

MIKE TYSON: Everything became sexual lately, and everybody’s worried about who’s sleeping with who. Everybody’s worrying about who gender is who. And who looks like this, and it’s all about that now.

THEO VON: Yes, there used to be so much more. When you couldn’t record everything, the moment was so great. Because if I needed to know a story, the only way I could get it was from you or from somebody that told it well. And so that person had an ambiance about them. There might be a dude in town, all he did was tell one good story.

MIKE TYSON: No, that’s happened since the beginning of life.

THEO VON: Yeah, and now it’s suddenly different. Now we have people out here losing their minds and sh*t, killing themselves, hurting themselves. Mike, dude, nobody killed themselves when I was a kid. Nobody was killing themselves. If you were angry or depressed, you just listened to heavy metal and walked around town. Remember that?

MIKE TYSON: Yes, but man, it’s just interesting that people are doing that now.

THEO VON: We’re sick though. There’s something poisoning us. Do you agree with that?

MIKE TYSON: 100%. I know the government knows what it is.

THEO VON: Yeah, they ain’t telling.

MIKE TYSON: Because death is profitable. People are cashing in on your insurance and all that sh*t. Death is very profitable.

THEO VON: Even at the morgue, dude, my buddy died. They put new shoes on him, charged his family $300. I’m like, bitch, he’s wearing them for 50 minutes. Just get a rental. And they got a whole fresh pair. That’s crazy, man. But I agree, there’s something the government knows, man. So now people are going to have to rise up. Something’s going to have to happen. Do you believe that people have that in us still, or do you believe—

Living Longer and the Future of Medicine

MIKE TYSON: I believe this. I believe that some people, even if they’re elite people, they have money and have the resources to live longer, healthier. Imagine being 90 and living healthy. You can still run, you can still f*, you still do things with family.

THEO VON: Jump, crossover.

MIKE TYSON: Exactly. No, serious.

THEO VON: Yeah, I feel you. You think that’s possible for some people right now in their prime?

MIKE TYSON: Right now? Absolutely. Because the bullsht that I use now, all this meth and all this sht, this sh*t’s crazy.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Feel young. That’s all. That’s why I be going fighting again. Do it next week, I feel good. Next thing they going to give you something. They kind of got now that thing you sniffing makes you smarter.

THEO VON: What is it?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know what it is. No, listen, you’re laughing now, but don’t laugh. When it comes out, you can say Mike was talking about that.

THEO VON: You’ll be hitting that sh*t.

MIKE TYSON: And yeah, I don’t know if you get too smart, you might have a f*ing brain collapse, right? Plus an aneurysm or something.

THEO VON: I don’t want to— there’s a lot of sh*t I don’t want to know, dude. The smarter I get, I feel like the more I hurt, bro.

MIKE TYSON: No, but listen, they got stuff. Check this out. Imagine somebody said, “I have something in this needle that’ll make you last 30 more years strong, or make your dick stay hard for 24 hours,” or something like that. That’s what people are working at. Whatever they want, whatever our biggest kinks are, right? It could be sex, it could be alcohol. They give you a shot, there’s no more alcohol in your life, no more drugs in your life. It’s going to be all about the needles soon and pills. The needles and pills.

Drug Use and Needles

THEO VON: Did you— were you ever a needle user or not?

MIKE TYSON: Well, I used a lot of needles. Yes, I have. Yeah, I used a lot of needles.

THEO VON: Because that’s a different barrier when you go into drug use. I’ve used a lot of stuff. I never used no needles. I’ve used like steroids, but I never used, like shooting up, like heroin.

MIKE TYSON: Heroin, yeah.

THEO VON: Yeah, I never used it. Now I wish I would have smoked crack, I will say that.

MIKE TYSON: Stay away from crack.

THEO VON: Really?

MIKE TYSON: You don’t normally come back.

THEO VON: That’s really—

MIKE TYSON: Once you go crack, you don’t come back.

THEO VON: What was it? Did you ever get to smoke it?

MIKE TYSON: I did once and this— oh no, so— oh, this is going to be f*ing crazy. I gotta tell you this. So one day I do my monthly check, I’m still getting high. I’m going to get my checkup with my probation officer, and he gets my blood test. I’m not even thinking. And he comes back, he said, “We just tested you for crack.” But I could tell her, what they call them? What do you call a crackhead? Oh, a— Crap. A what?

THEO VON: Tweaker.

Drug Stories and Wild Nights

MIKE TYSON: He’s a tweaker. He said, “Yeah, but I had it in me.” But he said, “Yeah, I know a tweaker. You’re not a tweaker. That’s a false test.” I said, “F*.”

THEO VON: He knew by sight?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, he did. I could tell a tweaker. He said, “You’re not a tweaker.” Because it was by accident. I didn’t know it was the crack.

THEO VON: Oh, it was just in there?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I took it without the guy telling me. I didn’t know. And the cop said that to me. He said, “Yeah, you got a false test, but I could tell a tweaker. You’re not a tweaker.”

THEO VON: Amen.

MIKE TYSON: I’m glad. Thank you for telling me that. Yeah, word.

THEO VON: Thank you for the tweaker guy. That’s good stuff.

MIKE TYSON: And I said, “F, that n* gave me that shit.”

THEO VON: That’s the thing, you don’t know what you would get.

MIKE TYSON: Exactly. Imagine if that was fentanyl. I’d be dead as a motherf*er.

THEO VON: You got out before fentanyl, thank God.

MIKE TYSON: My wife would tell you, right? It came on the news that Mike died from a drug overdose at his party, and my wife thought I was dead. It was on the news. And the other thing, I come in the house a couple hours later, my wife screamed at me, cursed at me. Oh, f*, I’m high. I just left the house and kept running.

THEO VON: It was a false story.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, it was on the news too. My wife saw me and hit me. I got out the house. I left. Damn.

THEO VON: Oh, she was pissed. Even if he was alive, she was pissed.

MIKE TYSON: She was pissed I was alive. Her and her mother. Damn.

THEO VON: And her mother was pissed too?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I told them, they’re crying and everything, they think I’m dead. They’re checking morgues and hospitals. And then I walked through the door high, I’m coked up and drunk. I just left the house. F this shit, man. These motherfers, they can’t— they don’t—

THEO VON: Yeah, they don’t love me, dude. Yeah. Did you ever have those days where you stayed up multiple days from doing cocaine or no?

The Cocaine Stories

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, absolutely. So listen, I got to tell you this story. So I can’t get any sleep, so I’m calling the person. My nose hurt like a motherf*er, right? It’s my nose. I’m going— ah! And so I’m calling the person and I’m saying, “My nose is hurt, I can’t sleep, I’ve been up for 4 days, my nose is hurting, I got scabs on my nose.” He said, “You know something? You got the coke?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Hit it here.” I took it. I said, “Wow, that feels better.” I never knew I had the coke all along. I should have took a hit. It numbed it up, because it wasn’t numb anymore. It started bleeding, it got sore. I had to take another hit to numb it up.

THEO VON: Those nights are the worst, huh?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, man.

THEO VON: The worst, bro. Did you ever have to sneak into a hospital or did you have a private doctor? Because how—

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, this is true. Oh God, listen, I go to my doctor, right?

THEO VON: Your doctor? Hold on, let’s get a round of applause for Mike’s doctor, bro.

MIKE TYSON: I go to my doctor, and I said, I’m going to lay this spill on my doctor and I’m going to quit cocaine right now. And he’s checking me, giving me a checkup. And he said, “How you doing?” I said, “Doc, I’m feeling bad. I need to quit.” And he said, “What?” I said, “I need to quit coke.” He said, “Really? Did you take a lot lately?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “You have some on you?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Can I have some?” I said, “F!” The doc’s my brother. This is on my children’s life. And I’m like, f! I’m trying to get help. I’m talking to the doctor about having a problem. He said, “You have some on you now? Can I have some?”

THEO VON: He was at Blue Cross Blue Shield. Who was that?

MIKE TYSON: No, I go to rehab now, right? They put me in rehab and this is what I do. The guy that does the rehab staff comes up and tells me all the rules, and then I try to be a good guy and give him my coke, the last bit of coke. I was doing coke before I came, because when you go to rehab, you get really high before.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: So I gave him the coke. I really wanted to get sober. I gave him the coke, my last coke. I said, “Here, some coke.” He said, “Oh, you have some?” Then he went away, and the next time I saw him, he started acting funny. I said, “This n better not have took my coke, because that was some good coke.” I wanted to be a good person and give it up. The shit took my coke. So I said, “Hey man, you took my f*ing coke, you got to stop— let me have girls come over here.” So he let me have girls come over there after rehab.

THEO VON: Yeah, what?

MIKE TYSON: My right hand on my children’s life, man. You listen, I can’t make shit like this up. The rehab guy said, “Oh, you got coke?” And I said, “No, I don’t want to get high. I’m going to try to live clean.” This n goes away and comes back acting weird. I said, “I know this motherf*er didn’t take my coke.” I got mad because I should have kept that shit then.

THEO VON: Type shit, man.

MIKE TYSON: I got so f*ing mad, dude.

THEO VON: I’ll tell you this story. So one time, my friend and I are getting out of an Uber and he dropped some coke, right? And I didn’t know he did coke, and I didn’t know I did coke, right? So I pick his coke up. I had never seen it before. I just saw this little bag. I registered pretty quick — this is probably cocaine, right? And so we go inside. We’re staying at my buddy Kevin’s house. We go inside and he starts saying, “Hey, will you help me look for something?” But he won’t tell me what it is, because he doesn’t want me knowing that he’s—

MIKE TYSON: He doesn’t want to give you nothing. That’s what it is.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, that’s what it is, bro. So I keep sneaking off and doing the coke because we’re looking really hard, right, bro? After like 2 hours, he goes to sleep. I’m still looking for the shit and doing it, bro. And I forgot what I was even looking for, but I kept looking, bro, because that’s who I am. I’m committed. I’m that motherf*er that will ride with you, Mike.

Cuba, Russia, and Travels Around the World

MIKE TYSON: I got to tell you this story about cocaine, okay?

THEO VON: Okay.

MIKE TYSON: First, I’m in Jamaica, right? And I leave Jamaica, hanging out there. And I go to Cuba — it’s very close, an hour, half an hour.

THEO VON: Did you get to meet Fidel in Cuba or not?

MIKE TYSON: No. Interesting though, check this out. So I’m in Cuba, right? I’m hanging out. And a guy meets me. “Hey, you’re Mike Tyson, right?” Yeah. “Hey, Mike Tyson, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I said, “Yeah, everything’s great.” “You have money?” “I have lots of money.” “You need a girl?” I said, “This is a possibility. Yes, I do. You’re a f*ing genius.”

So he takes me around — listen — it’s nothing but bricks and rocks, abandoned, looks like a bomb had visited, disgusting. And I’m thinking this guy is setting me up to get mugged or something, right? And all of a sudden, this beautiful girl — she had raggedy clothes — she comes out of this dilapidated building that looks like it got hit by a bomb. Nobody lives in there, just all abandoned shit. And she comes out. I said, “What the f*? Wow.”

But this is what I’m talking about — Castro. The natives there were unable to live — they can’t go in the hotels there, the people that live in the residence.

THEO VON: Because they don’t want them talking to people that are visiting?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know, but they’re not allowed to go in the hotel. Mr. Castro allowed me to take people to my hotel. They let me do whatever I wanted to do.

THEO VON: Oh wow.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, he was really nice. I had—

THEO VON: What?

MIKE TYSON: I think I had a fight there. I threw bottles. I didn’t get arrested or nothing. I was telling people, “Leave me alone, let me do what I want.”

THEO VON: Damn.

MIKE TYSON: Anybody else would have been throwing bottles and stuff in Cuba, they would have got f*ed up. They’d have been in the hospital, then they would have been in the infirmary, then they would have been in jail.

THEO VON: What made you want to go to Russia? Because that was kind of like a— why, you know what I’m saying? Like, they—

MIKE TYSON: I don’t even know.

THEO VON: First of all, did they even at the time have Black people in Russia?

MIKE TYSON: Yes.

THEO VON: Did they really? Because they never put them on the websites or anything.

MIKE TYSON: Russia — they came to Russia around 1909.

THEO VON: Black people did?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, and they’ve been— I met Black Ukrainians, I met Black Russians. This is really amazing shit.

THEO VON: Yeah, because you probably wouldn’t even think that would have happened, right?

MIKE TYSON: No, until they start talking.

THEO VON: Yeah. Wow, dude, that’s cool. That’s one cool thing about traveling. Sometimes, bro, this is the truth — you might see somebody that looks like you, and their mother might be Black and their father might be white or something African. You just realize that, oh, there’s so many people out there. Like when I was in my little town, I thought heaven was only going to be people in our town, right?

MIKE TYSON: Listen, let me tell you something about Russian people and Ukrainian people, right? I’m up there, right? And so we got some call girls — supposedly call girls, right?

THEO VON: Some call girls?

MIKE TYSON: Yes, supposedly call girls. Excuse me, their escorts, they call them.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: And listen, I’m saying to myself, I want to talk to my friend in Yugoslavia. She talks Yugoslavian, she calls him. I want to talk to a friend that’s staying in China, she talks to them. The common call girl was supposed to speak around 7 languages. Yeah. A call girl in America can’t even speak English.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Can’t speak her home language. These motherf*er call girls speak 7 languages. I’m trying to think, how can I get this girl from here to America? She’s like a Fortune 500 company. I’m telling you, she speaks 8 languages. Been to the best schools and she’s a call girl? I’m like, whoa.

THEO VON: And women here, they barely will even learn even one language or even one and a half languages.

MIKE TYSON: They’re not even going to learn how to cook. Language. They don’t know how to cook.

THEO VON: Dude, some women can barely use even emojis.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know how to use them either.

THEO VON: Yeah, but still, you shouldn’t have to, dude. You’re Mike Tyson, man.

MIKE TYSON: No, I’m just saying women here have it made.

THEO VON: Women here have it made.

MIKE TYSON: In other countries, you can’t have a say in nothing.

THEO VON: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess I don’t realize how bad — women have it pretty bad in some places.

MIKE TYSON: In Japan, you see mostly women in prison in Japan, because they killed their husband.

THEO VON: Nuh-uh.

MIKE TYSON: Majority of them, yeah, they just can’t stand the abuse anymore. Oh damn, Japan, can you imagine?

Fights in Japan and the Buster Douglas Loss

THEO VON: Because they’re so peaceful a lot of times. We had a Japanese substitute teacher and he didn’t even say anything to us because he didn’t want to bother us. That’s how nice he was. We didn’t learn anything.

MIKE TYSON: That’s how scared he was.

THEO VON: Yeah, that’s how scared he was. Well, we didn’t learn anything for 4 days because he was, he didn’t even want to bother us. You fought in Japan against— was it, who was it?

MIKE TYSON: I had 2 fights in Japan, 2 fights. Buster Douglas and someone else, Tony Tubbs.

THEO VON: Buster Douglas, that’s when you won the championship?

MIKE TYSON: I lost the championship.

THEO VON: Oh damn, sorry.

MIKE TYSON: No, be sorry. I’m happy. I got $40 million.

THEO VON: You got $40 million?

MIKE TYSON: $35, yeah. Wow. Same shit though.

THEO VON: Yeah, same, bro.

MIKE TYSON: I rounded even.

THEO VON: Dude, that’s so wild, bro. But before that fight, you weren’t— did you— were you training as hard, or were you just like living the life?

MIKE TYSON: I was living the life, but he fought a great fight. Yeah, I think that way. He fought a great fight, dude.

THEO VON: I remember we were like— I was living in Charleston, South Carolina at the time, and somebody had bought the fight with like a projector, and they projected on the side of like a building, and everybody came downtown and watched it, dude. It was awesome. It was a good time, man. It was like, when you fought, it was like it brought everybody. It was like watching The Challenger blow up. Everybody showed up, you know?

MIKE TYSON: The Challenger did blow up.

THEO VON: Remember that?

MIKE TYSON: Everybody watched the whole television that whole day, watched it over and over again. That’s like those guys that went in the water with those submarines and it combusted from the inside. Poosh!

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: He took his son down. This guy took his son down there.

THEO VON: But they went down there in a f*ing McNugget. You know that shit’s going to happen, dude. Bro, it said Cutlass on the side of it. It was a Delta 88. I’m like, you got in that bitch? They just like— I don’t want to— I shouldn’t say that. They’re good.

MIKE TYSON: They got smashed. They said they didn’t even feel it. Didn’t even feel it.

THEO VON: That’s tight, boy.

MIKE TYSON: Didn’t feel it.

THEO VON: Because I hate even getting in a small shirt. You ever put a small shirt on and you can’t even get out of it?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, I like being in small shirts. I’m popping.

Hulk Hogan’s Funeral

THEO VON: If you’re Mike Tyson, yeah, dude. I went to Hulk’s funeral, man.

MIKE TYSON: Did you really? Yeah. Tell me about that.

THEO VON: It was pretty special, man. Well, it was a lot of things. Where was it at? Right outside of Tampa. Right outside of Tampa. And, well, one thing that was interesting, Jim McMahon was there, but nobody knew he was there. And then at one point he came out, like Vince McMahon. Yeah. You ever met Jim McMahon?

MIKE TYSON: That’s his father.

THEO VON: No, Jim McMahon was a quarterback for the Chicago Bears. Remember him?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, he’s badass. Yeah, he was funny glasses.

THEO VON: Yeah, he had that mullet, dude. He showed me his freaking butthole one time in Palm Springs at a casino for no reason.

MIKE TYSON: No, it was the reason. It was the reason. He figured you out. He figured you out. He looks like a quarterback. He’s a great quarterback, great perception, quarterback perception.

THEO VON: But look at this receiver. Yeah, bro, that’s crazy, dude. But anyway, you’re right, that whole little—

MIKE TYSON: Tell me about him showing that butthole. Tell me about that. How does that appear? What caused it?

THEO VON: Well, nobody was expecting it. It was just like a regular night. And have you ever hung out with him before? I never met him before, and he was drinking beers and he kept— he was saving all the cans. I think he was like— he’s like a, what’s it called when you care about the nature, when you’re like a, um, asshole? Asshole, Mike said.

MIKE TYSON: He was— don’t be saying that because he could have a lawsuit.

THEO VON: You saw his— I saw it. It was dark. I mean, but—

MIKE TYSON: Jim McMahon, you’re welcome to come on and have a lawsuit. This man saw your asshole. What? Dude, why are you— You said you saw the asshole. He may think differently. Well, look, he may say that was a cheek, that wasn’t an asshole.

THEO VON: Mike is working in— now you working for an attorney’s office. I know who it is.

MIKE TYSON: Was it a cheek or an asshole?

THEO VON: I don’t know, man. Damn, you tricked me. I just said I don’t know. I knew it was a little while ago. You’re right. I’m not sure. It was shadowy out, but I do remember we were by the pool and it was nighttime.

MIKE TYSON: But anyway, yes, so I’m opening up some cheeks, right? Spread his cheeks, right?

THEO VON: But everything in my just like mind, I guess, thought there was an asshole.

MIKE TYSON: He said, “Come get it, guys.” No.

THEO VON: “Come on, guys.” No, he wasn’t saying anything like that. He was telling a joke about his ex-girlfriend or something, and then he said the punchline. I don’t remember it. And then he just kind of showed his butthole at the end.

MIKE TYSON: The running back, he said, “Come run up in there.” Who’s the running back for his show?

THEO VON: Who was the running back at the time? It wasn’t Peyton, was it?

MIKE TYSON: No.

THEO VON: Sayers? No, Sayers was earlier. Was it?

MIKE TYSON: No, was it really?

THEO VON: And ’85 Bears was Peyton.

MIKE TYSON: Well, I’ve been here, Big Peyton.

THEO VON: Walter, come on, come on, Walter, get over here, Walter.

MIKE TYSON: That asshole, huh?

THEO VON: I didn’t mean to see it, but yeah, anyway, let’s move on. But here’s what I’m going to say is, so Vince McMahon comes out there. Nobody knew he was at the funeral, and it was wild because they had guys like— had beef too, if— yeah, well, I think over the years they’d had a lot of issues, right?

But a lot of my favorite wrestlers were there and they were kind of broken down, you know, some were in wheelchairs and some were like— some people had urns of other guys who had passed on. They had their ashes, they just brought them. But Vince McMahon got up and he played Hulk’s music and he did all like a lot of his like things, you know? And then he made like a speech and then he disappeared.

But it was everything. It was like, you know, he was so much of my childhood. He was like one of the first person that I ever saw, like in our neighborhood, like a lot of people didn’t have anything, but when wrestling came on, it felt like you had something. I don’t know why, right?

MIKE TYSON: It’s like a soap opera for kids. Yeah, you know, we know the story. They double team them, they cut them up, they put them to sleep, they jump through them over the rope.

THEO VON: F*ing yeah, yeah, all of that. But anyway, so that was like our hero, like a soap opera.

MIKE TYSON: We know it was a storyline.

THEO VON: But we, as kids, we thought it— I think you believe it’s so real.

MIKE TYSON: 100%.

THEO VON: It was so good. So that was like one of our heroes. So to go was just— yeah, I don’t know, it was pretty special. And his son like gave a speech. It was nice, man. It was just— but it didn’t feel like he passed away because he was— he’s so much larger than that.

MIKE TYSON: You ever talk to Hulk on the show?

THEO VON: Yep. And I’ll tell you this, when I met you downstairs and I got to shake your hand, I was like, that’s the strongest person I’d ever like— could we give us like a mini hug? I said, that’s— I walked out and said, “This is the strongest person I’ve ever given a mini hug to.” The second strongest was Hulk Hogan.

MIKE TYSON: Really?

THEO VON: Yep.

MIKE TYSON: Hulk was massive, man. He was a big star. He’s just such a big star. You could never imagine how big he was.

Wrestling Heroes and Historical Warriors

THEO VON: Who was like a hero to you like that, like in the—

MIKE TYSON: Bruno Sammartino.

THEO VON: Bruno Sammartino, that was my hero.

MIKE TYSON: My God. He could beat every champion for 12 years. Yeah, he could beat everybody. He was champion. Listen, I was 7 until I was like, what, 7 to like 20 almost. Yeah, champion.

THEO VON: He was a legend, man. Yeah, I got to interview one of the Von Erichs one time, Kevin Von Erich.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know if you remember, they died before.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Oh, I’m going to listen, man. I’m a historian, don’t play with me now.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: Ask me some questions. I’m not sure yet.

THEO VON: I have read actually that you like studied a lot of like, you really enjoy like philosophy, like Tolstoy, Alexander the Great. Who are some famous warriors that you admire the most kind of in history?

MIKE TYSON: Oh, all of them. Achilles, Alexander, Hannibal. There was El Cid. There were just so many different concepts. You say, “Why do you want to do this?” Because, you know why? Some of them want to be God. They believe, “If I control all this world, if I control the world, I’m a god.” And they said at the end of the day, they realized they were nothing, you know.

THEO VON: But can you even relate to that? Like, did you ever have a time in your life where you’re— because our ego is one of the scariest things, right?

MIKE TYSON: You can only play with the thought of it. It’s not sincere, not real. Yeah. The only way you’re a god is if you live forever, if you’re immortal, you know. But we have demigods now. Now we have authors that turn people into gods, you know.

THEO VON: Like, what do you mean by that?

MIKE TYSON: Some people will never be forgotten. Napoleon, all these guys. To know your history, you have to know these people. They’re part of history. We can’t know our history if we don’t know these people. That’s what makes them godly.

THEO VON: Oh, only if we know them.

MIKE TYSON: You’ll never get to know them unless you read about them. They’re only in special places to know their identity.

Ego, Discipline, and Alexander the Great

THEO VON: Did you like— what was one of the toughest times you ever had with your own ego? Because like ego is just so scary, right?

MIKE TYSON: I don’t know, my ego is so personal, you know. I don’t know how to even say. I just want to do better than before. I don’t think I have— You know, I do think I’m Alexander the Great sometimes. I cannot lie, I think I am.

THEO VON: And what are you talking about? Like, you do, like, you dressing up in the bedroom? What you doing, a little role-playing? Put on that ATG hat? It says ATG on it?

MIKE TYSON: No, it’s just that the way I conduct myself. He was a Cancer too, my Alexander, and what his downfall was, was he’s moody. I learned that not to let my moods control my feelings. He was really moody. That was his downfall.

THEO VON: What helped you like have discipline? Like you say something like that, you notice it by yourself. What helped you create like some little disciplines like that?

MIKE TYSON: The best way to receive discipline is to do what you hate to do, but to do it like you love it. You do that, that’s discipline.

THEO VON: And is that something you really practice?

MIKE TYSON: That’s all I practiced my whole life, even now.

THEO VON: Did you always love fighting, or did you hate fighting, or—

Paying Homage to the Fighters

MIKE TYSON: No, I loved it. I loved the concept of fighting. I loved the fighters. I was so— I wanted the greatest fighters in the world to know my name. I would be on my knee, kiss their hands, kiss their feet. I loved them. I worshiped them. I believe if they touched me, they have released some magic on me. So I always wanted to be around. I carried their bags for them. I gave them money when I became a big-time fighter. I always gave them money because they normally broken down and had no money. Most of them have dementia, so I always gave them money to take care of them.

THEO VON: Gave it and took it away if they got that dementia, you feel me? They run it right back, right?

MIKE TYSON: But I just thought that—

THEO VON: Paying homage, you’re saying?

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, I had to pay homage because if I didn’t even see these guys, I wouldn’t want to be who I am today. These guys inspired me to be a fighter. I didn’t want to be nothing else, even though I saw that they turned out— I normally would turn out like these guys, nothing, begging. I still wanted to be a fighter. I don’t care. I wanted to be in that fraternity, dude.

THEO VON: That’s so interesting to hear. We didn’t just come up with the idea of ourselves all by ourselves. There was so much influence and people that did something before us that let us— no matter what our job is or what our thing is that we like to do in life. That’s interesting, man. I forget about that sometimes. Sometimes I’ll be like, oh, yeah, I made me.

Who Are We Really?

MIKE TYSON: Theo, do you ever think about who you are? How you really got here? What you really consist of? Is there something more than you? Are we going to see each other again at another time? Are we living in parallel lives? Is this right here going on somewhere else in life? We have so much energy we don’t even know about ourselves. We know everything else, but we know nothing about us.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, dude. Most of my life I wasn’t even me. I was just like some survival mechanism that had started off. Does that make any sense to you?

MIKE TYSON: 100%. That’s the first thing that happens. Self-preservation starts first. And then once we get situated, then we try to figure everything else out.

THEO VON: Yeah, man, it took forever. It took me probably 30 years just to exhale.

MIKE TYSON: I understand. I understand, brother. I understand.

THEO VON: And then it’s scary because there’s times I thought, man, I don’t even know if I wanted to be like a funny guy. I might have wanted to be somebody that worked at like a clothing, like a haberdasher or whatever, or like a singer. But that was the first thing that I could get people to like—

MIKE TYSON: You get attention.

THEO VON: Yeah. And so I could— I didn’t have another choice. That formed everything I was.

MIKE TYSON: I wanted to be seen so much. I was a little baby and my mother and her friend, everybody was having fun drinking. I put my finger in drain oil, I put it in my mouth, and I started screaming. Everybody grabbed me and took me to the hospital. But I wanted that attention at such a young age.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: I love going to the hospital, dude, because they had good food back then too.

THEO VON: And they give you attention, bro. Yeah, dude, they had a couple ladies would come in and care about you. Even a gay dude, they slip in there every now and then. But still, bro, that Jim McMahon.

MIKE TYSON: Love is love, I think. Hey, bro, love is love.

Mike’s One-Man Show and Netflix Documentary

THEO VON: I got a question, Mike. Did anybody ever— because I just got back from Lexington, right? Lexington, Kentucky, and they have the Derby race there. It’s a beautiful place. We just shot a special for Netflix, actually, that’s coming out in like about 2 months. So I’m excited about that. But did anybody ever approach you to buy your semen? And I mean that honestly. And I don’t mean that in like a negative word.

MIKE TYSON: No, I mean, I gave it away free. Why did they want to buy it?

THEO VON: Bro. Dude, we’re giving our busted-ass semen away out here. You over there, dang, bruh.

MIKE TYSON: It’s free.

THEO VON: What?

MIKE TYSON: I had no idea they were selling. They were buying. Dude, I’d be a billionaire right now.

THEO VON: You can still, bro, long as you can still warm up a batch, bro, you can sell it at the merch stand over here.

MIKE TYSON: If I was single, I would.

THEO VON: Oh, look, that’s true. He might have an issue with it.

MIKE TYSON: Maniac.

THEO VON: God, bro, I could get rid of a couple ounces for you out back at his joint today, man.

MIKE TYSON: I’m happy the way my life is now.

What Brings Mike Joy Today

THEO VON: Yeah. What’s a few things before we go, Mike? What’s a few things that make you, that bring you some of the most joy that you have today? And they can be something small. It could be anything.

MIKE TYSON: Just my children don’t have to live the life that I live. That’s the only thing. That’s all I care about.

THEO VON: Is it?

MIKE TYSON: That’s all I care about.

THEO VON: Yeah. Is that something—

MIKE TYSON: And this might even make them strong, but I won’t take the risk. It might kill them too.

THEO VON: Wait, say that one more time for me.

MIKE TYSON: I say it might even make them strong, but it might kill them too.

THEO VON: Oh, to have to go through the same stuff.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MIKE TYSON: I don’t want to take the chance. I like the way they living now. Yeah.

THEO VON: Well, you did it.

MIKE TYSON: Yeah, man, a lot of help. A lot of help.

THEO VON: A lot of help. Yeah. We don’t do it alone.

MIKE TYSON: No, no way. No way. You realize real quick when you have children, you need help. Yeah, you need a lot of help.

Wrapping Up — The One-Man Show and Cus D’Amato

THEO VON: Thank you so much for joining us today, Mike. I want to say thank you. You have a one-man show that’s going to be— that’s a live show that your wife wrote, is that right?

MIKE TYSON: Yes, she did.

THEO VON: Wow. And did she have to get you to sign off? Did y’all do some teamwork, or what was it?

MIKE TYSON: Sign off for what matter? That this is her work and I don’t get any money for it? What do you mean sign off?

THEO VON: I mean, did she just like say— how do you put that together? Because it’s interesting that she would write it. Is it just about— let’s talk?

MIKE TYSON: Let’s talk. Let’s talk about dark s*, and it works out well. Yeah. You’ll love it when you hear the Midget story.

THEO VON: You got a good one in it? Oh, and it’s in the show?

MIKE TYSON: Oh yeah.

THEO VON: Save some of it. You know what, I’ll come out to one.

MIKE TYSON: You got to check this out, man.

THEO VON: I’ll come out. I’ll even come on stage and just listen to it. I’ll put on something little for you. Not for you, for just— I’ll just wear it.

MIKE TYSON: Tell me about Lulu. How Lulu works? How that work?

THEO VON: I put on a small—

MIKE TYSON: Thong? You wear thong?

THEO VON: No, no, bro, I’m just saying a small shirt. But you have that one-man show that’s going to be— and that’s going to be a tour?

MIKE TYSON: We’ll see.

THEO VON: Okay.

MIKE TYSON: We see how much they pay me for it, and we’ll see.

THEO VON: And you have your documentary that’s coming out on Netflix?

MIKE TYSON: Yes, I do.

THEO VON: You do?

MIKE TYSON: If you guys know every fing thing about it. I know it. What the f?

THEO VON: We learned a lot tonight, dude. If Cus D’Amato could see you now and see your whole life, right? If you could see your whole life, and just get to spend some time with you today, what do you think would be something that you would like to see with him or have him say? What do you think would be something that he’d be impressed by?

MIKE TYSON: I would say, “Cus, everybody in the world says I’m the best ever. What do you think?”

THEO VON: What do we think, guys? But know what he would say?

MIKE TYSON: Know what Cus would say?

THEO VON: What would he say, Mike?

MIKE TYSON: “You didn’t move your head enough. If that guy was a little faster, he would have hit you. If that guy was a little faster, he would have hit you. Yeah, knock a guy out in 8 seconds. If he was a little faster, he would have hit you. Had your head up.”

THEO VON: Man, thank you so much for sharing your time with us today, for bringing your family here today, just for the opportunity that we get to see you.

MIKE TYSON: They all love you. I don’t know who the f* you are. Yeah, my family— that was my I love you, man.

THEO VON: You know the truth, dude. I don’t know who the f* I am either, bro.

MIKE TYSON: I wish I did too.

THEO VON: But hey, I love you, man.

MIKE TYSON: Thank you so kindly, bro.

THEO VON: And that’s the truth. And thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Tyson!

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