Tarana Burke – TED Talk TRANSCRIPT
I’ve been trying to figure out what I was going to say here for months. Because there’s no bigger stage than TED, it felt like getting my message right in this moment was more important than anything.
And so I searched and searched for days on end, trying to find the right configuration of words. And although intellectually, I could bullet point the big ideas that I wanted to share about Me Too and this movement that I founded, I kept finding myself falling short of finding the heart.
I wanted to pour myself into this moment and tell you why even the possibility of healing or interrupting sexual violence was worth standing and fighting for. I wanted to rally you to your feet with an uplifting speech about the important work of fighting for the dignity and humanity of survivors. But I don’t know if I have it.
The reality is, after soldiering through the Supreme Court nomination process and attacks from the White House, gross mischaracterizations, internet trolls and the rallies and marches and heart-wrenching testimonies, I’m faced with my own hard truth. I’m numb. And I’m not surprised.
I’ve traveled all across the world giving talks, and like clockwork, after every event, more than one person approaches me so that they can say their piece in private. And I always tried to reassure them.
You know, I’d give them local resources and a soft reassurance that they’re not alone and this is their movement, too. I’d tell them that we’re stronger together and that this is a movement of survivors and advocates doing things big and small every day.
And more and more people are joining this movement every single day. That part is clear. People are putting their bodies on the line and raising their voices to say, “Enough is enough.”
So why do I feel this way? Well, someone with credible accusations of sexual violence against him was confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States of America, again. The US President, who was caught on tape talking about how he can grab women’s body parts wherever he wants, however he wants, can call a survivor a liar at one of his rallies, and the crowds will roar.
And all across the world, where Me Too has taken off, Australia and France, Sweden, China and now India, survivors of sexual violence are all at once being heard and then vilified. And I’ve read article after article bemoaning wealthy white men who have landed softly with their golden parachutes, following the disclosure of their terrible behavior.
And we’re asked to consider their futures. But what of survivors? This movement is constantly being called a watershed moment, or even a reckoning, but I wake up some days feeling like all evidence points to the contrary. It’s hard not to feel numb. I suspect some of you may feel numb, too.
But let me tell you what else I know. Sometimes when you hear the word “numb,” you think of a void, an absence of feelings, or even the inability to feel. But that’s not always true. Numbness can come from those memories that creep up in your mind that you can’t fight off in the middle of the night.
They can come from the tears that are locked behind your eyes that you won’t give yourself permission to cry. For me, numbness comes from looking in the face of survivors and knowing everything to say but having nothing left to give. It’s measuring the magnitude of this task ahead of you versus your own wavering fortitude.
Numbness is not always the absence of feeling. Sometimes it’s an accumulation of feelings. And as survivors, we often have to hold the truth of what we experience. But now, we’re all holding something, whether we want to or not.
Our colleagues are speaking up and speaking out, industries across the board are reexamining workplace culture, and families and friends are having hard conversations about closely held truths. Everybody is impacted. And then, there’s the backlash. We’ve all heard it “The Me Too Movement is a witch hunt.” Right? “Me Too is dismantling due process.” Or, “Me Too has created a gender war.”
The media has been consistent with headline after headline that frames this movement in ways that make it difficult to move our work forward, and right-wing pundits and other critics have these talking points that shift the focus away from survivors.
So suddenly, a movement that was started to support all survivors of sexual violence is being talked about like it’s a vindictive plot against men. And I’m like, “Huh?” How did we get here? We have moved so far away from the origins of this movement that started a decade ago, or even the intentions of the hashtag that started just a year ago, that sometimes, the Me Too movement that I hear some people talk about is unrecognizable to me.