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Home » Transcript of Dr. Jordan B Peterson’s Interview on The Diary Of A CEO (E113)

Transcript of Dr. Jordan B Peterson’s Interview on The Diary Of A CEO (E113)

Read the full transcript of renowned psychologist Dr. Jordan B Peterson’s interview on The Diary Of A CEO (E113) episode titled “How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be”, Jan 3, 2022.  

TRANSCRIPT:

The Power of Truth in Relationships

STEVEN BARTLETT: The conversation you guys have been waiting for. I say that because of the thousands and thousands of messages I’ve had since I announced that Jordan Peterson, the man himself, all the way from Canada, came here to sit in my kitchen and have a conversation with me. And what a conversation it was. One of the most moving moments in the history of this podcast takes place in this conversation.

I think the thing that people love about Jordan Peterson is his unrelenting desire to just say what he believes to be true, not what he believes to be correct, not what people want to hear, not what people will be happy to hear. And it’s because of that—it’s because of his pursuit of truth that he’s managed to change millions and millions of people’s lives. That is absolutely no understatement.

I feel like I owe you a debt of gratitude, and I want to say thank you for the impact you’ve had on my life. And I’ll point at the specific impact you’ve had on my life. You asked me, before we start recording, why this podcast has been successful. One of the reasons is actually something I’ve gained from reading and listening to your work, and that’s this real commitment to trying to be your true self and trying to be your truth. This podcast wouldn’t be successful, and I wouldn’t have been successful in terms of pursuing myself had I not understood the importance of truth across all facets of life and in my relationships, which was a real pivotal thing for me.

DR. JORDAN B PETERSON: And so what’s changed in your relationships as a consequence of that?

STEVEN BARTLETT: So I believe it’s really difficult to truly connect with someone if you’re not speaking and being your truth. And I wasn’t. I think I was wearing a mask in my relationships in the context, if I didn’t express how I was thinking and feeling. I was trying to be who I thought my partner wanted me to be.

At the point when I let down the mask and I started speaking my truth—actually as I was departing from the relationship—the relationship got stronger than ever before. And it was like we were never actually connected until I was being true with her, with my feelings, with what I wanted, with my life. And since then, I would categorize my relationship as being the strongest thing I’ve ever seen in terms of a romantic connection with someone.

The Persona vs. Authenticity

DR. JORDAN B PETERSON: And so when you were starting to talk in your relationship in a more truthful manner, what did that mean that you had to admit? I mean, you just said that part of it was a disconnect between who you were trying to be and who you really were. So that’s a Persona issue, right?

So you think maybe, and everyone has this proclivity to some degree, they’re deeply self-conscious and uncertain. And so instead of allowing the person they’re with to connect with that underlying uncertainty and inadequacy, they act out a Persona. And then the problem is that, well, perhaps the person falls in love with that Persona, but there’s no real connection there. It’s an artifice.

And, you know, having said that, one of the things that Carl Jung, the great psychotherapist, said about a Persona is don’t be thinking that you’re better off if you never formed one. So for Jung, it was a voyage from, say, undifferentiated self in infancy and so forth through Persona to authenticity. Because you have to act out your ideals to some degree, right?

And you also have to formulate an avatar of yourself in some sense that’s a mediator between you and other people in casual social encounters. Like, you don’t want to walk into the bank and have the teller tell you about his or her day when you say, how are you doing? I mean, now and then that can happen, but generally it’s too much intimacy too quickly. And so you need this functional shell.

But the problem arises when that functional shell is all that there is. And then the real person underneath is just desperate and unhappy because nothing of what’s being acted out reflects a true underlying reality.

STEVEN BARTLETT: What is the consequence, the long-term consequence of acting? So many people, especially because of the world I live in, Instagram and social media, we kind of build out these Personas and then we almost follow the implicit instructions that come with those Personas.

The Puppet and the Actor

DR. JORDAN B PETERSON: Well, that’s the problem right there is that, well, I’m trying to get a hold of the Disney people at the moment because I want to do a lecture series on Pinocchio because I think Pinocchio is a brilliant work of art. And if you’re a puppet and an actor, and Pinocchio is both at times in that movie, both a puppet and an actor. So why an actor? Like, why is there something wrong with being an actor?

Well, the first question is, well, who sets your role? And then the second question is, who’s pulling your strings? So you put on this front that is there to make you popular and sexy and desirable and to mask from yourself your own inadequacies. But that’s a role. Well, who wrote it and for what purpose?

And so Jung said, for example, that we all acted out a myth and whether we knew it or not, and you know, maybe you’re acting out a tragedy, maybe you’re acting out Narcissus. You don’t know because you’ve put that on yourself in an attempt in some ways to deliver to people what they want, or more accurately, to look as though you’re delivering to people what they want.

And it’s not nothing to do that.