Wayne Cotter: Why Computer Engineering is Like Standup Comedy at TEDxRainier (Transcript)

Full transcript of stand-up comedian Wayne Cotter’s TEDx Talk: Why Computer Engineering is Like Standup Comedy at TEDxRainier conference.

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Wayne Cotter – Stand-up comedian

When I was at my twenties, I changed careers from computer engineer to standup comedian. It was the 1980s and I decided that I am a visionary and I can see the future, this whole computer thing is going nowhere.

But you know, for a long time I’ve had to answer to a lot of folks who feel that there’s some kind of inherent contradiction between those two pursuits and I don’t think there is. So, if you’d indulge me I’d like to talk a little bit about why.

I’m going to start with a story from when I was nine years old and my grandmother took me to the New York World’s Fair. Then the exhibit was there that was part of the IBM pavilion that demonstrated the Bell Curve, the Galician distribution. Mechanically, there’s, I have a picture of the machine which is a brilliant thing that was invented by Charles and Ray Eames. It dropped 30 thousand balls from the top through this grid of pegs and each ball at each roll would bounce randomly left or right and when they all collected at the bottom every time they would form a perfect bell curve and match the line you see painted on the front there. And this just blew my little mind. I could not be dragged away.

Here we are the giant fair and there’s rights, and shows, and food and my grandmother was stuck with this creepy obsessed child who will not be torn away from the mass machine. But, honestly, it was like a life-changing thing for me. It really was. And… and I would focus in, you know like one little ball and watch it just be completely random and then I kind of zoom out and see that every time there was this pattern to it and it made me realize that you can make sense out of something by looking at it in a different way. And I think that’s something that engineers and comedians both do.

Okay? Are you with me so far? Okay. The numbers and jokes have always been a part of my life from time that I was a kid. I was memorizing π to fifty places and Bill Cosby albums. You know it’s just… and you can infer from the time commitment that took that I didn’t have a massive social life at that time. I looked up numbers in the dictionary. I just thought numbers were — I just looked up just to see what the dictionary would say. And I found the word fifty, f-i-f-t-y; it’s in there. The definition was three words: five times ten.

Now, you don’t know what fifty is. What kind of hell is “five times ten?” And I looked up “forty-nine”, it will say “See fifty, subtract one.” Anyway, I did grow up to become an engineer, and I went to work for a Mainframe Manufacturer in New Jersey, and which was fantastic. It was mine… it was like… I got to play with these giant computers and it was like the ultimate mega probability machine. It was fantastic. I was in fact… I have a picture. I think this is from like 1979 or 1980 if we can get there. Let’s see. Yes. That’s it. That’s me and my group. You can kind of play where is Walter with this and try to figure out who I am. The clue is there is no female in that picture.

Little randomness going on with the hair there too, I think. Yeah, it was eh… I was the very early version of the crazy programmer. I was, you know, socially awkward for hyper-caffeinated playing all-night coding marathons. Basically, kind of Mark Zuckerberg without the money, if you want to think of it that way.

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