Matt Rife’s Interview: This Past Weekend #662 (Transcript)

People were just drinking Dr Pepper and just like touching themselves in parks and stuff. People didn’t know how to operate, brother.

Anyway, good to see you, bro. I’m just kind of giving you a hard time.

MATT RIFE: No, likewise, man. I’ve seen you forever.

THEO VON: I know. Congrats on all your success and everything, bro.

MATT RIFE: Thank you so much.

THEO VON: So cool.

MATT RIFE: It’s wild, dude.

THEO VON: It’s a lot. Yeah. You know what, we did talk one time. Hold on, I’m not even done with this yet. Is it— does it bug you that I say the good-looking comedian thing? Does that bug you at all or no?

MATT RIFE: It doesn’t bother me. It bothers other people, I suppose.

THEO VON: It does?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I get s* for it all the time. People act like I’m the one walking around saying it.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, that’s the weird part. Bro, no. Dude, yeah, because it was like, what do you mean? Because first you heard rumors, there’s a guy and he’s doing comedy and it’s good and he’s good looking and people are like, what do you mean? People are calling their grandfathers. “Grandpa, there’s a—” and your grandpa would be like, “What do you mean?” And his Whoop bracelet would f*ing start, you know, not good, not good, call Edna now, like report to grandmother.

MATT RIFE: I didn’t realize I was affecting families, dude.

Justin Tucker: NFL Kicker and Opera Singer

THEO VON: You were just— it was just a lot for people, bro. Sorry, because people had never seen that. There are some people that have like a skill, and then another skill. Like, people are surprised when somebody has one skill and then they also have something else. It’s almost like Justin Tucker, do you know who that is for Baltimore? The Baltimore Ravens kicker.

MATT RIFE: Can you bring him up?

THEO VON: Yeah, he’s— I believe he’s a— is he an opera singer? He’s a mezzo—

MATT RIFE: He’s a singer.

THEO VON: He’s a singer.

MATT RIFE: No way.

THEO VON: So we got that leg and that throat, bro.

MATT RIFE: Just a full body powerhouse.

THEO VON: Yeah. “They said it would take a man 40 years to get out of this here prison, but Andy Dufresne did it in less than 20.” Bro, props to Justin Tucker. I mean, that’s beautiful.

MATT RIFE: What do you think is the bigger flex, being an NFL punter or having that kind of skill set to opera sing?

THEO VON: I think the NFL punter is just a mild thing that he’s doing.

MATT RIFE: It’s a hobby. Yeah, just to pay the bills while he pursues.

THEO VON: Bro, when you got that kind of lung in you, bro, and you out there just— he’s just all lungs.

MATT RIFE: You ever try? You ever try to sing like that? Like, just be like, I wonder if I can.

THEO VON: Yeah, I think I have, probably. Have you?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, of course. It’s always like when you’re in your car, you turn the radio down, you turn the volume down just enough to hear yourself. You’re like, “Am I fing this up?” Then you can hear yourself, you’re like, “I’m fing ruining this song.” Like, I know I don’t have it in me because you have to try eventually. You don’t know what skill set you might have.

Hidden Talents and Side Quests

THEO VON: That’s a good point. Yeah, you don’t know what skill set you might have, right? And who even ever tries? How many people could be like, they never even tried? That’s unbelievable. Yeah, like, are there some side quests that you’ve kind of tried?

MATT RIFE: You know what, I feel like I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to really explore a lot of other avenues, but I’d like to learn stuff. I’d love to learn like an instrument or something, or f*ing magic, dude.

THEO VON: Yeah, you f* with magic?

MATT RIFE: I mean, I think it’s, you know, I’m kind of like, that’s where the Black in me shows up at the surface, bro, when people start doing a lot of magic.

THEO VON: Like, it feels like it could be too real.

MATT RIFE: It’s just like, what if this dude’s doing this right here? What’s he doing in his— you know what I’m saying? If he’s willing to show us this, yeah, what’s he doing at the house?

THEO VON: That’s a good point. But also picturing somebody learning magic in their house by themselves is also one of the funniest things I can imagine. I can’t picture anything lonelier. Nobody around to see your voilà.

MATT RIFE: Yeah.

THEO VON: Or your kazam. Whatever your fing power word is. Voilà. I don’t know. Is that not a magician word? Is that like a chef? Is that chef s?

MATT RIFE: That’s a good question, bro. Yeah, do chefs and magicians beef over their, like, verbal, like, ejaculate or whatever it’s called? Or like, they’re like, dude, chefs and magicians beef over their— what is it called, do you think, Matt?

THEO VON: They’re like, it’s not deliver— they are— it is a delivery, but they’re finishing syllables. Finishing syllables. Yes. Is it onomatopoeia?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, that’s what it is. I think it is.

THEO VON: Is that, like, the word for sounds?

Onomatopoeia and Sunday School Memories

MATT RIFE: Yeah, bring that up. Onomatopoeia, dude. Onomatopoeia was like some kid that couldn’t read good that had to go to the toilet or whatever. I remember that. We had a dude in our Sunday school and he couldn’t— you just started looking at him, bro, and you could tell he had to go to the toilet.

THEO VON: He was fidgeting.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, he was. His whole body would start shaking, bro.

THEO VON: I’m not going to lie to you, I would have lost all my money on how to spell that word, onomatopoeia.

MATT RIFE: And you’d be like, “Damn, onomatopoeia soon, bro, so we got to get him out of here, bro.” And onomatopoeia is the process of creating a word that phonetically imitates or suggests the sound that it describes.

THEO VON: I didn’t even know there was a T in there. I’ve been saying onomatopoeia my entire life.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, well, we can take a break if you need us to. Impacts and collisions. So like boom, bang, crash. You know what did it a lot was like those old comic books with like Batman.

THEO VON: Oh, 100%. It’s just the one big word.

MATT RIFE: Bang!

THEO VON: Yes. Back when it was Adam West, he was like the original Batman. You big comic guy?

MATT RIFE: You know, I’m not that big into it, but I think I liked it when I was a kid, but I never got into the comic books.

THEO VON: I feel that. Did you?

MATT RIFE: No, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. I’m not a big on-paper kind of guy. I’m not reading the Harry Potter books. I’m not doing it.

THEO VON: Yeah, I mean, I could settle. I think if I ever have to go to the hospital for a long time, I’m saving Sopranos and Harry Potter for when I have to go to the hospital.

MATT RIFE: For a long recovery series?

THEO VON: Yeah, hospital, or if I get married and say if my wife’s in a coma or something, I have to sit in there with her.

MATT RIFE: You just have her propped up to watch the series?

THEO VON: Well, I mean, I want to have something to do. I want to be able to look forward, because some people, that’s such a scary time in their life if your spouse is in a coma or something, if your wife’s in a coma. So I want to at least be able to look forward to something. So I’ve saved those things till then.

MATT RIFE: What’s that? Is it Munchausen syndrome? Is where you keep somebody sick so that they need you? I could see you doing that just to finish the series.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, like my wife’s like, she’s starting like you’re getting like a little bit of reading on her, like on the heartbeat monitor.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah.

THEO VON: Like, oh, hold on, honey, I’m almost done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, I got 4 episodes of Breaking Bad left. Dude, you know that’s happened to somebody.

MATT RIFE: Oh, 100%. No, there was a guy, I met a guy at a show one time who he faked being sick from work for 3 weeks to stay home and watch TV. That was like his full thing. And his wife totally just allowed it, which was like a cool mom letting you skip school.

THEO VON: That’s got to be dope.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, that’s the one.

THEO VON: That’s the one.

MATT RIFE: I want to find a lady like that.

THEO VON: On the second day, she’s like, “Oh, I see what you’re doing.”

MATT RIFE: Oh yeah, he’s not even faking anymore. On day 3, he’s just living his life. She’s on to him.

THEO VON: Yeah, and she’s like, “I like it.”

MATT RIFE: How long are you going to be here?

THEO VON: Yeah. Dang, dude. Yeah, that’s got to be if you get a good partner like that. But yeah, dude, so that’s like, what are we even talking about?

MATT RIFE: How the f* do we get into watching TV? Yeah, the bangs, the voilàs, magic. Okay, that’s what it was. What would you—

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah. What’s your finishing term?

MATT RIFE: Oh man, how did “voilà” come to be a term?

THEO VON: How did, or what?

MATT RIFE: Ta-da! I think it’s ta-da. Voilà is definitely a chef term. I don’t know why that came to me. Voilà sounds like it tells the audience the truth.

THEO VON: Oh, voilà came from voilà, tells the audience.

MATT RIFE: Abracadabra, that’s a classic. “It’s magic” might be the lamest one ever. You do a trick, you have to tell them what it is.

THEO VON: “It’s magic.”

MATT RIFE: That’s magic.

THEO VON: Hey, that’s like if you’re making love to a girl and it’s not that good, you’re like, “It’s sex.” Yeah, that’s cum. Yeah, it’s wiener. She’s like, “It’s barely wiener.”

MATT RIFE: You’re like, “Okay, it’s not dick for sure.”

THEO VON: It’s not dick, it’s wiener. It’s almost like one of those, “Can’t believe it’s not dick.”

MATT RIFE: Yeah. How is that not like Bluetooth’s motto? Bluetooth, Hims pills. “I can’t believe it’s not dick.”

THEO VON: Yeah. Oh, that’s weird.

MATT RIFE: Pop one of those bad boys.

THEO VON: The Bluetooths? Yeah. Oh, dude. Yes. And dude, I’ll even nibble just half of one. A half? Well, yeah, I kind of based it on what’s going on or whatever. Because I used to live with my buddy’s dad. I used to live, brother.

MATT RIFE: Wait, hold on. How could this possibly be? Where’s this going?

THEO VON: Yeah, it doesn’t go anywhere gay. It goes to a straight place.

MATT RIFE: There’s no way it does.

THEO VON: But it takes a gay route.

MATT RIFE: Okay, I’m listening. I’m following the curve.

Living with Wally

THEO VON: My buddy’s dad, and RIP my buddy’s dad, just passed, Wally. And I lived with him, dude, right out of high school. I lived with him because he had a script for them wiener pills, right? And you just couldn’t— they didn’t have Bluetooth at the time. You couldn’t just be getting those uppers, bruh. You know what I’m saying? And so when somebody had— it was like, dude. So I was like, “Well, if I live with Wally, then he’s got a script and I can just pop them if I need them.” Because I had a ton of sexual anxiety and he wasn’t using them all. He was using them. He was going through them pretty quick. That’s what I didn’t know. Oh, I wish he’d have told me that before we signed the lease.

MATT RIFE: So you were going to have visitors?

THEO VON: Oh, I thought— dude, I thought I was going to be living large, dude. You know what I’m saying, bro? I’m just saying, his erection was getting its steps in, you know?

MATT RIFE: So all I’m saying, bro, he’s got a whooper. He’s got a whooper around it. Yeah.

THEO VON: It’s like, yeah, that’s dick.

MATT RIFE: What was the sexual anxiety that you had?

THEO VON: Oh, just in my— I had a lot of sexual anxiety, bro.

MATT RIFE: Just nerves?

THEO VON: Yeah, a ton of nerves.

MATT RIFE: What is it?

THEO VON: I had a tough time talking with girls. It made me nervous, bro. Super nervous, because I think I had a tough relationship with my mother. So even just the interaction with looking at a woman, being looked at by a woman, that kind of stuff was like— made me super nervous. So I think that just— that doesn’t just go away, kind of. So then you move on through life, and now the women you’re interacting with, it’s about dating, intimacy, dating, sexuality, whatever, wiener.

MATT RIFE: And then—

THEO VON: Whatever, wiener. That’s all, you know. So just some of that. But anyway, so I went to live— and I got to talk— dude, I have you here and I’m talking so much.

MATT RIFE: No, I love the story already.

THEO VON: So I went to live with Wally, bro. RIP, shout out. And so we were living over there. We were living in like a studio apartment too, dude. So— oh no, no, no, it wasn’t that bad. Sorry, it was a one-bedroom, but the bedroom didn’t have— it just had a little balcony.

MATT RIFE: It didn’t have like a full wall. Got it, got it.

THEO VON: Okay, so I’d sleep out on the couch, and he had a car and he would let me borrow his car, but the car, you couldn’t turn it off. You had to get it jumped. So I would drive the car to school and I’d park— like, this was at Loyola in New Orleans— I would park up by the teacher’s area and just leave it running the whole time. And for some reason, if the car’s running, they wouldn’t put a ticket on.

MATT RIFE: They’re like, “Oh, somebody just ran inside, whatever.” It’s genius.

THEO VON: So I’d leave it running the whole time I was at class. It would cost me like maybe $6 in gas, but I would leave it running anyway. He got the pills. I would try to nibble off them so he didn’t see it. I’m trying to reshape them and shit, bro.

MATT RIFE: I was carving them into crescent moons.

THEO VON: Oh dude, I was trying to make them all smaller and shit, bro. I was like chiseling it.

MATT RIFE: Yes.

THEO VON: Yeah, bro. I was like, yeah, shifting. It would be like an oval and now it’s just like a diamond or something. It was trap shit, bro.

MATT RIFE: Did he ever catch you?

THEO VON: Huh? He never brought it up to me, bro.

MATT RIFE: That’s a gentleman.

THEO VON: And he’d have ladies over sometimes, and I was learning the guitar at the time, and he’d have me go in there sometimes at night and play “Tears in Heaven” for them. That’s a song I could play. Tears—

MATT RIFE: Who sings that?

THEO VON: I did at the time. It was Eric Clapton. There you go. “Would you know my name?”

MATT RIFE: Being serenaded to that would— I don’t even know if I need the pills.

THEO VON: Yeah, they’d be drinking orange juice and vodka in the bed, and I’d go in there and just play it for them.

Living with a Roommate in LA

MATT RIFE: Dude, it’s so hard to smash with a roommate. I remember my first apartment in LA, I was living with my manager’s son at the time, and it was a studio. There was just no door into the bedroom, so it was really an open floor plan. And I was sleeping— I lived on the couch and I had like the small closet, and he had like what would be considered the bedroom. I remember he was out of town one weekend and this girl wanted to come over, and we did sex in his bed, and she was like, “What are all those clothes doing out there?” I was like, “Oh yeah, I let my friend live on the couch.”

THEO VON: Yeah. Oh, always.

MATT RIFE: Yeah.

THEO VON: Yeah, my friend’s not doing well, I would say.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, of course, it makes it seem like I’m doing a good deed.

THEO VON: Yeah, he’s passing through town. He put all his pictures up on the walls and shit. You’re like, “Yeah, he’s kind of guy he is.”

MATT RIFE: Of course, travels with his memories.

THEO VON: Yeah, he travels with his memories, dude. Voilà, dude. Voilà. Were you guys out this weekend? I knew you were here for CMA Fest, right?

CMA Fest and the Red Clay Strays

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I came down to do some stuff with Billboard with the Red Clay Strays, and then just stayed in town for the shows, man. I f*ing love it here.

THEO VON: You do?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I almost moved to Nashville, but I wanted land and I wanted a lot of it, right? And there wasn’t anything within like an hour of the city that I really liked. And if you live an hour outside of Nashville, you don’t really live in Nashville, you live in f*ing Chattanooga.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, you live a little bit further out. I agree. Yeah, it’s nice, there’s some good land out there. Yeah, dude, what— yeah, I saw— what did I see with Red Clay Strays? You were giving them an award?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah, I gave them the Groundbreakers Award for Billboard, which was awesome, man.

THEO VON: So cool, dude.

MATT RIFE: They’re such good guys.

THEO VON: Oh, they’re the best. Oh, there you are right there, dude.

MATT RIFE: Bro, there was no introduction whatsoever. They just go, “And Matt Rife.” Everybody’s like, “Wait, for real?” Turn away from the bar. There’s a giant open pit of like, I’m going to say 30 feet by 50 feet of people just standing like it was a wet floor. Nobody wanted to come close. It’s the weirdest thing ever. Yeah, it’s okay. It’s like 2 minutes long. Yeah, the guys up, dude.

THEO VON: That’s awesome. You get to bring these guys up. They’re special, bro. You know, comedy really— a lot of comedians really embrace them. I think if you go to their shows, it’s almost music for men and young men. Do you feel like that in a way?

MATT RIFE: I do, I do. It’s such a— I don’t know, it reminds me of music from like the ’50s and ’60s, which I think was like music’s golden age. And I think there’s a yearning for that because everybody loves that sound, but there’s no new production of that. And I think they put that out. It’s refreshing. I love those guys.

THEO VON: Yeah, they’re so good, bro. Sometimes I feel—

MATT RIFE: Dude, it’s my favorite song. Is it? I f* it. I’m still fine. So good. Kyle and I would blast that in the house for days.

THEO VON: People here living it up, I think I’m fine. Doesn’t matter, they’re mine.

MATT RIFE: Oh God, so good, dude. Oh, I love them. Shout out to Red Clay Straits.

THEO VON: Pull up those lyrics, dude. Let me see those lyrics for a second.

MATT RIFE: You know, Brandon’s brother Matthew wrote that song.

THEO VON: He wrote it?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, not even in the band technically. He’s writing hits, dude.

THEO VON: I saw him the other night, dude. I knew he wrote some of their songs. Sometimes I feel like I can’t feel. Obviously this is a song about being on antidepressants then. This is a song about coming off of SSRIs, dude.

On Staying Positive and Tuning Out the World

THEO VON: I mean, those are bars in there, man. Oh yeah, I think that’s powerful stuff. People here living, I think they’re blind. It’s like, yeah, how can you be so positive and all this stuff’s going on, dude?

MATT RIFE: I think that’s kind of what— sometimes it’s where we are in the world, and I don’t even want to get negative, but it’s like, it does feel sometimes like we are pretending that we’re okay. Does that make sense?

THEO VON: Absolutely. I mean, I think I operate from a big position of just bliss. I try to stay out of stuff. I’m not a political person. At all. I should get torn to shreds for even saying this, but I don’t pay attention. It seems so stressful. It seems like all bad stuff all the time, and I’m like, it’s either happened or it’s not. Nothing I can really do about it.

MATT RIFE: Yeah.

THEO VON: So sometimes being uninformed leads to a little bit of happiness.

MATT RIFE: That’s a good point. I think the more I’ve learned sometimes, the more it hurts sometimes, or something hurt. I don’t know what it is.

THEO VON: No, I think that’s life though. I think about when you’re a kid, you don’t know anything. Life is so blissful, right? You don’t even know about all the problems going on.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, dude, that’s so right. Little kids are just like, they don’t know anything.

THEO VON: I think the more you learn as life goes by, the magic of life kind of gets smeared.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, you know, sometimes I wonder, because sometimes we talk about stuff on here that’s kind of political or things that we feel. A lot of it’s like stuff that you end up learning about through technology too. It’s like we wouldn’t know it if we were back in tribal times, or if we didn’t have so much technology, we wouldn’t know a lot of this stuff.

THEO VON: But do you think that’s how we’re supposed to be though?

MATT RIFE: I don’t think it’s how we’re supposed to be. I think there will be a time in the future where we will look back— or someone will look back and they’d be like, “What were they doing? How did they even— what was happening?”

Should We Know Everything Going On in the World?

THEO VON: Do you think we’re supposed to know about everything going on in the world? Like, do you think we should know what’s going on overseas in different countries with different people?

MATT RIFE: It’s tough, dude.

THEO VON: Like, as human beings.

MATT RIFE: Well, I wonder— sometimes I think that no, it doesn’t do us any good. I mean, a lot of times I’m angry about stuff that’s not even in my area, and then it’s like where I could probably put that same energy towards stuff that is maybe more localized. Or even in my own family and personal life to have a better effect on those things, or try to.

But then I also, I’ve heard people talk about like that there’s no real separation between space and time. So I wonder sometimes if people— if you see something that’s so painful in the world and you prayed enough about it, or you really tried to channel whatever good had been blessed to you or bestowed upon you— if you try to channel it towards, could you have an effect? Because then that makes me think, oh, well then there is some purpose to all of that.

THEO VON: Yeah, absolutely.

MATT RIFE: But I don’t know. I don’t know any of that, but it is stuff to think about.

THEO VON: No, that’s a good spiritual direction though. I like that.

MATT RIFE: It’s something to think about. But I don’t think there’s anything— I can’t sit here and be like, sometimes I’ll be like, “Well, why don’t certain people say this? Speak up.” But that’s me trying to project or think some way. It’s like everybody’s on their own thing. Sometimes I maybe have wishes, but sometimes it’s like, yeah, it’d be better just to sit and laugh. Sometimes people just want their comedians to just joke around and not be talking about other stuff.

THEO VON: Yeah, sometimes just because somebody doesn’t speak up on something doesn’t mean that they’re not empathetic about it. Maybe they just can’t handle it. Maybe that’s just not where they are— they might have blinders on, they have their sights on something specific or just minding their own business. It doesn’t always mean they’re a bad person, I don’t think.

Focusing on What’s Close to Home

MATT RIFE: No, I don’t think so either. Like, I have friends and my buddy’s like— I was like, “Do you ever think about this or worry about this?” He’s like, “Well, you know, I got a couple kids,” and he has a kid that has some learning disabilities. “I just have to focus all on that.” It’s like, you can’t fault that.

THEO VON: No, I think that’s actually better. I think focusing a lot of your energy on the things more direct to you can be a good thing. I think that’s a lot more peaceful. Think about the things that— like, people are complaining online all the time about something, right? All the time. It’s like, okay, is that thing you’re complaining about more important to you personally than, like, your kid’s baseball game or whatever it is, or their birthday party coming up, or something that’s more important to you directly?

MATT RIFE: If you’re sitting in the stands, mastering a tweet and you miss your kid’s double, or he gets a hit.

THEO VON: I agree. How do you even have time to do that if you’re not focused on something more important?

MATT RIFE: And sometimes I’ll notice I’ll find other things to worry about so I don’t have to worry about my own sh*t.

THEO VON: I don’t know if that’s healthy or not.

MATT RIFE: Oh, I don’t think it is at all. But I notice I’ll even use worrying about other stuff sometimes as a method of escapism from not taking care of the things I need to be taken care of.

A Humorous Take on Misdirection

THEO VON: That’s a very good point. Next time my dick doesn’t get hard, I’m going to be like, “It’s just with everything going on in Iran right now, you know what I mean? Like, how can you even possibly expect me to be up right now?”

MATT RIFE: Wait, you’re expecting sex when there are people starving somewhere?

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Okay.

THEO VON: I think it’s a perfect—

MATT RIFE: Oh, my penis doesn’t work. It’s obvious, you know. Look, there’s stuff happening in Gaza right now, and you’re expecting— what are you— you’re expecting a lot, okay? You want troops on the ground over here, right? But you don’t want it over there? What are we talking about? That’s hilarious, dude.

THEO VON: Yeah, man. Classic misdirect.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Technology and Its Effects on Us

THEO VON: I mean, it is. I think if we didn’t have as much technology, would we take on the world as much, you know?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I don’t think it’s healthy for us. I mean, obviously there’s so much good to be learned, but I do feel like it distracts us from a lot of things we probably should be focusing on firsthand. I’ll leave that open to interpretation. It’s a more generalized concept, but I don’t think it’s good for us.

THEO VON: Yeah, I think a lot of different things about it, you know. So what else— what else at CMAs do you do? Have you spent a lot of time in Nashville or no?

Matt’s History in Nashville

MATT RIFE: I’ve been performing here since I was like 16. Zanies was one of the first clubs I ever got to perform at.

THEO VON: Really? Did you open up for somebody?

MATT RIFE: Oh, a bunch of people. I mean, Tommy Davidson, Pauly Shore, Jim Brewer, Bill Bellamy. I’ve opened for— oh, Ralphie, obviously. When I was still living in Ohio, he used to let me come down here and do his shows right before Christmas at Zanies. And he would pay me like $500, $600, which— I’m in high school, so that’s like a million dollars to me. So I could go back home and buy my family Christmas presents with that money. Oh dude, he’s like the nicest guy. So I’ve been coming here for a while.

THEO VON: I love it here.

MATT RIFE: Yeah. Good comedy scene too.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s good people, man. It’s some of the best people.

MATT RIFE: I couldn’t agree more.

Remembering Ralphie May

THEO VON: What— I can’t believe you got to come down here and work with Ralphie. That was so wild. Yeah. What was that like? Did you see him having troubles back then? I mean, that was a long time ago.

MATT RIFE: I mean, he was fat the whole time. Right. I never knew him to not be gigantic. So I mean, there was no— I mean, I was also 16, 17. So again, I’m not really looking for problems. Wow. Yeah, that’s at the— that’s you. That’s the Brea Improv. Yeah, I think I’m 17 in this, maybe 18. I think I’d maybe just turned 18 in that, bro. Look at that watch.

THEO VON: Wow. Fake.

MATT RIFE: Couldn’t be more fake.

THEO VON: I think it looks— it’s supposed to be— what’s it made out of?

MATT RIFE: Looks like a goddamn Ben 10 watch, dude.

THEO VON: It looks like it’s made out of ivory. Is it real ivory?

MATT RIFE: No, it’s not real ivory, man. It’s pure plastic.

THEO VON: Is that real tusk?

MATT RIFE: Not at all, man.

THEO VON: Oh dude, look at Ralphie’s smile, bro.

MATT RIFE: Yeah man, I miss him a lot. Oh, he was such a good guy. He started when he was super young too. I think he started when he was 14.

THEO VON: Yeah, he was full of black. He said he was so big because a lot of his inside had a lot of blacks and a lot of blacks in them. Black people inside of him.

MATT RIFE: I mean, you could fit a couple of Black people inside of him.

THEO VON: He said there was like a couple Black guys in the front seat and the back seat of him. ‘Cause you know how sometimes you give one brother a ride, couple brothers show up like, whoa, who’s that? Yeah.

MATT RIFE: You know, you got somebody hopping on the pegs, you know?

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. That was the craziest thing, bro. I used to bike through the neighborhood and on my way to school, I go through the Black area and my buddy Jonathan would get on the back and then sometimes a couple of his buddies would get on the front, dude. And so I was just this little, just like white little engine that could, dude, you know?

MATT RIFE: Just like— Calves just pumping.

THEO VON: I think I can, I think I can. Sitting there. Yeah. And they used to call me the N-word bus. That’s what they call me. When they saw me pulling up, they’re like, oh, here come the bus. And they’d all jump on, dude. And I’d have to get like 5 guys to help them get their education or whatever. And I was like, I can do it.

MATT RIFE: Help them get their education? Like you’re a public service, bro.

THEO VON: If I didn’t get them there, it was like 11 more blocks to school. If I didn’t get them there, they wasn’t going.

MATT RIFE: They stop at block 8.

THEO VON: Oh bro, yeah, yeah. One or two dudes got off, bro. We never saw them again.

MATT RIFE: That’s so f*ing funny too.

THEO VON: So that was wild, bro. But yeah, Ralphie was like— Ralphie was one of a kind, bro. I can’t name somebody else that’s like Ralphie. Can you really?

MATT RIFE: No, man. I really wish I could see how he would have navigated comedy today because it’s changed so much in just the 15 years that I’ve been doing it. And watching him— I mean, not give a f isn’t the most articulate way to say that, but he was just so unapologetically himself and people fed with it, dude. I had never met anybody who didn’t like him.

THEO VON: Oh dude, I remember I broke down when he passed. It really hit me hard.

Matt’s Early Connection with Ralphie May

MATT RIFE: Oh, same, man. That was arguably my first mentor in comedy. I wasn’t even— I think I’d maybe just turned 16. He was coming to Youngstown, Ohio. He was playing a theater up there. No, I’m sorry, it was Cleveland. He was doing Hilarities up there. And this was when Twitter— you could reach anybody on Twitter. Everybody was so accessible. So I tweeted at him. I was like, “Hey, I’m this kid in Ohio and I’m doing comedy now. Can I open for you at Hilarities?” And he was like, “Yeah, you know what, f* it, come on down.”

THEO VON: What?

MATT RIFE: But my mom ruined it.

THEO VON: She—

MATT RIFE: Well, because she had no experience in this whatsoever. I mean, to her, this is just a grown man inviting her son up to Cleveland, right?

THEO VON: This is like pedophilia or whatever.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, she had no idea. I had been doing comedy for—

THEO VON: Humorous pedophilia.

MATT RIFE: Humorous pedophilia. Maybe 5 months I’ve been doing stand-up, so I didn’t know anything either. So she’s asking like, “Where do I park? Do we need to buy tickets? What time do we need to be there? Where do we need to go? Do I need to talk to anybody?” I ended up asking him so many questions on behalf of my mom, he was like, “Hey man, it’s actually not going to work out.”

THEO VON: So he can’t—

MATT RIFE: He canceled on me. And then maybe 6 months later, he was doing Youngstown, and he let me come up and do that. That was my first theater show. Paid me $100 for it. It was nice.

THEO VON: Did you hold that against your mom?

MATT RIFE: Oh my God, I was devastated because to me, I was like, “This is going to be my big break, you know what I mean? I’m going to be this famous comedian after doing one guest spot in Cleveland.”

THEO VON: Oh, but that’s all it takes, dude. You get 3 minutes of a video, somebody bringing you up, you get to bring Ralphie up, anything. When you’re that age, of course, bananas.

MATT RIFE: I know, it would have been awesome. The theater show was very cool. I actually ended up meeting Tony Hinchcliffe’s mom at that show in Youngstown. Yeah, she was just like, “Yeah, I have a son who just moved to LA, he’s doing comedy out there, like Jeff Ross.” I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t know anybody who had moved to LA, and he was like, “You f*ing know my mom?”

THEO VON: And why did she— why was she at that show?

MATT RIFE: She was just a Ralphie fan.

THEO VON: No.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it was totally random. I was just taking pictures of people after the show, and she was like, “Yeah, my son lives out there.” He said his mom still has the piece of paper that I signed for her. She kept it even after all those years.

THEO VON: Oh, that’s pretty cool. So crazy. Yeah, I forget he’s from Youngstown, huh? Dude, was it a pretty urban show?

Ralphie’s Comedy and Legacy

MATT RIFE: No, dude, Youngstown was so white. It was so white, dude. But I mean, this was also when Ralphie was doing this bit about the N-word, and I think it made it into one of his specials where he was basically trying to make a point that if you desensitize the word and make it mean something different— so he was like, “I think we should name the most delicious flavored cookie the N-word. That way you could say it more optimistically.”

But this was a mostly white room with a few Black people, but it didn’t matter. The joke was just great across the board. He was for everybody. His crowds were so eclectic. And I love coming up with that. I never wanted to pigeonhole and play to a specific audience. I’m like, if he can appeal to everybody, that’s the main goal.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. Well, just to be your— I think to try and be as close to your truth as what it is. And I think Ralphie was that guy. He was just like, he loved being accepted by Black folks and white folks. He loved bringing them together with humor.

MATT RIFE: Yeah.

THEO VON: And he loved just being able to be welcomed in that space, because to be in that space and navigate comedy, it’s important because you can bring people together. If two people can laugh at the same joke, that’s a big thing.

MATT RIFE: I couldn’t agree more. I think sense of humor is so important, dude.

THEO VON: Dude, that’s so cool that you got to have some of those moments with him.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, when I first moved to LA, he used to pick me up. We’d go to a diner. He’d make me order like 3 entrees, and I was like, “Is this f*ing for you?” He was like, “No, whatever you don’t eat, you can take home. Now you have groceries for your week.” The nicest guy, man.

THEO VON: Wow.

MATT RIFE: I know, I know.

THEO VON: Dang, that’s big, bro. That’s a big heart. He was mostly heart, heart and brothers inside of him.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, mostly heart and brothers. He was one of those people that I wish I could have got to share what I get to go through now with him, because I knew him from so young and he was somebody that I looked up to.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Just to get his perspective on it, see what advice he would have had, you know?

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, that was a huge loss. What did he pass away from exactly? Did he have pneumonia pretty bad?

MATT RIFE: I think it was COVID. I think he had early COVID.

THEO VON: I just want to get clear on that.

MATT RIFE: It was not COVID. I’m pretty sure it was a heart attack. Yeah, cardiac arrest.

THEO VON: Ralphie died of cardiac arrest caused by hypertensive cardiovascular disease. The Clark County, Nevada coroner officially ruled his death as natural. At the time, he was battling pneumonia. That happens a lot. Ralphie had a heart attack, his lung collapsed.

MATT RIFE: I mean, that lung was exhausted. I mean, goddamn, bro.

THEO VON: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, dude. We gotta get these brothers to school, dude. That was his lung, dude. Oh damn, bro.

MATT RIFE: He would love that joke though. He would love that. Oh, he would love it, bro.

THEO VON: Dude, honestly, I can— I’m not even joking— I can feel him smiling right now. That’s one thing, bro. I believe that there is this between space and time. Like if we say, “Ralphie, we love you and we miss you and thank you for all the times you made us laugh,” I think he can feel that somewhere.

MATT RIFE: I think so.

THEO VON: I think there’s a way that you can transfer a feeling or a hope through space and time, you know? I don’t know.

MATT RIFE: You can call it prayer. You can call it whatever, whichever angle you want to come from. I think it does affect things. Yeah. And here’s the thing, even if it doesn’t, isn’t it so much better to just believe it anyways?

THEO VON: 100%.

MATT RIFE: Isn’t life just better to believe it?

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: I mean, I feel the same way about f*ing Bigfoot. Just cooler to believe he’s out there.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude.

MATT RIFE: Is he? Probably not, but it’s so much more fun to think maybe he is.

Bigfoot Talk

THEO VON: Dude, what about the guy that just was on Joe Rogan that saw an 8-foot— I think he was a Navy SEAL. Can you bring him up? They saw an 8-foot big— they said 8-foot. That’s pretty big.

MATT RIFE: Well, how tall is Victor Wembanyama? He’s got to be close.

THEO VON: But his little ass, he would be a— he would be kind of a punk in the Bigfoot community.

MATT RIFE: He’s a runt.

THEO VON: I mean, they would respect him for sure. He’s more of a Slender Man.

Ghost Hunting, Rhode Island, and the FTX Series

MATT RIFE: Oh, you f with Slender Man? I mean, I don’t f with him, dude. That’s my lane, dog. I love all spooky shit.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, that’s right. You bought the spooky— you invested in Ed and Lorraine’s, uh, yeah, their home museum.

MATT RIFE: Wow.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, that’s right. That’s where you live. You live in, uh, Rhode Island.

MATT RIFE: In Rhode Island. Yeah, yeah, but their house is in Connecticut, so it’s just down the street, hour and a half drive, something like that. It’s f*ing awesome, man.

THEO VON: How did that come to pass, man? I know some of this might be old news.

MATT RIFE: No, no, no, it’s not. A lot of people know that I’m even into this stuff. My friend and my business partner Elton Castay, he and I started doing— well, he had been doing ghost hunting on YouTube for, oh God, probably close to like 8 years now, and then I kind of came aboard about 5 years ago, something like that. We’ve been like around the world to some of the most haunted places.

THEO VON: It’s so f*ing— you have? Yeah, yeah. We had Sam and Colby on here talking about that before.

MATT RIFE: Those guys are awesome. Yeah, those guys are f*ing sick, dude.

THEO VON: One time I went to dinner with Rogan, I go meet him, Sam and Colby are there, like, with Joe.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, shut up.

THEO VON: Blew my mind.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, they’re good dudes.

THEO VON: I was like, what the f* are y’all doing here, dude?

MATT RIFE: It’s a smaller world than you think.

THEO VON: Oh, they’re like the spooky NSYNC kind of. It’s kind of what they seem like a little bit when you meet them, you know?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, they’re handsome for no reason.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s like, oh, you’re handsome and you’re ghost hunters. They’re another— they’re a couple Justin Tuckers, dude. That’s who they are.

MATT RIFE: You can’t even see bangs in the dark. There’s no reason to even have good hair like that.

THEO VON: Bangs, that’s an onomatopoeia. Bang.

MATT RIFE: I’m talking about hair, man.

Moving to Rhode Island

THEO VON: Take me through a little bit more of that. So why did you move to Rhode Island? You said you wanted some land.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I wanted land mainly. I wanted some land. I wanted a city that is convenient for travel. So PVD is like my Burbank airport, and then Boston’s like my LAX if I have to, have to, have to go direct.

THEO VON: Okay, so that’s Providence and Boston airports.

MATT RIFE: Yeah. And then I wanted some kind of a comedy scene, and Providence has the Comedy Connection there, which is a f*ing great A club. They’ve got a couple of good theaters there that I’ll do like our holiday toy drives at and stuff in the wintertime. And then there’s a ton of open mics, there’s a bunch of don’t tells out there. So like when I’m home and I want to work stuff out, there’s no shortage of stage time at all. So I mean, it kind of just checked all the boxes. It’s awesome, dude. It’s so peaceful. It’s so beautiful. Like, it’s quaint.

THEO VON: It’s got—

MATT RIFE: It’s got everything I need. Like I said, the airport’s nearby, comedy’s nearby, Target’s 8 minutes away.

THEO VON: How far is it from the airport to your house?

MATT RIFE: 17 minutes.

THEO VON: That’s good.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it’s not bad at all, dude. And I mean, we’re in the cities all the time for work, right? Like, I’m always in New York, I’m always in LA or Miami, Chicago, or whatever. Like, when I’m not there, I just want peace. Like, that’s what I actually have.

THEO VON: What made you pick that? I mean, Rhode Island’s just an interesting place. It’s kind of romantic. Rhode Island to me has like this beachy kind of romantic scene, but also like this thuggish sort of scene.

MATT RIFE: Well, I didn’t know how mob deep it was, dude. I had no idea Rhode Island was like run by the mob for a while, which was pretty f*ing awesome. I was doing shows at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and this is around the time I was just starting to look for like, maybe I’ll get a house someday. My life’s starting to change. And I was on Zillow and I found a house like an hour away and I was like, shit, I’ll just go check it out before the show tomorrow. And I went, checked it out, just fell in love with it. Yeah, so I mean, totally random, didn’t know anybody there. A couple of my friends have moved out there ever since, they live with me, so it’s kind of like a nice little compound.

THEO VON: Oh, you got friends living with you?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, absolutely.

THEO VON: Have you had to kick anybody out? What’s that been like? You guys splitting wiener pills out there? What are you guys doing out there, bro?

MATT RIFE: It’s like you live there. That’s good to hit both on the head, pretty impressive. Yeah, yes and yes. We’re rationing it up there, brother.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, dude. Now I will say this, if the wiener pill factory ever closes, dude, the market is going to be hot for those, bro.

MATT RIFE: Oh my God, it’s the new Quaaludes. You think they get better with age? I didn’t even think about that. Oh, I’m going to sit on a couple, put some in my safe. Yeah, in a little time capsule.

THEO VON: Give one to your grandson one day, huh? Hey, eat this, now your diaper won’t fit.

MATT RIFE: That’s ridiculous, dude. I kind of love living with the homies. It’s nice. Like, the house is big enough that my boy Kyle lives upstairs, I live downstairs. Like, there’s days I don’t even see him. Yeah, we’ll meet together in the kitchen for like an Uncrustable around 4 PM. That’s about it, dude. It’s so peaceful.

The FTX Netflix Series and Vancouver

THEO VON: It’s just chill when you’re there. Like, what types of things do you get involved in? Do you actually have enough time to take off when you’re there, or what’s that like for you right now? I know you just had— I saw you guys were filming and you were filming in Vancouver. How was that?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I was in Vancouver for like 7 months last year. No way. Oh dude, within a week I had to move. Like, I didn’t think I was going to get this role at all, and then they called and were like, “Hey, you got it, need you to move to Vancouver.” And I was like, “Awesome.” It was Friday. They’re like, “Need you there Monday.” And I was like, oh, okay. I mean, things can happen that fast.

THEO VON: Did you have touring dates you had to cancel and everything?

MATT RIFE: I only had to cancel a couple for film dates, but luckily they let me keep as many of them as I could. Which is important to me.

THEO VON: Yeah, for sure. Matt Rife among 10 cast in Netflix’s FTX series. And this FTX, it’s about crypto, it’s about the cryptocurrency.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, do you remember like— is that Paul Rudd? No, it’s not Paul. Which one do you think is Paul Rudd? Which one of those?

THEO VON: Bottom middle.

MATT RIFE: You think that’s Paul Rudd?

THEO VON: Does it look like him to anybody else or just me?

MATT RIFE: That’s going to be just you. Not a chance. I wish Paul Rudd was in this. He’s f*ing great. Oh, somebody’s Instagram. You thought that was that guy?

THEO VON: I don’t know, dude. I need some help. I’m still fine.

MATT RIFE: No, don’t sing your way out of it, man.

THEO VON: Oh, solo mio, we can’t keep—

MATT RIFE: You can’t sing your way out of this, dude. Opera your way out.

THEO VON: I’m just saying, bro, things happen sometimes visually for people. I think some of those wiener pills got my optics off.

MATT RIFE: You got some side effects?

THEO VON: Yeah, some side effects.

MATT RIFE: Some lingers?

THEO VON: Yeah, bro. Can’t see. Yeah. Imagine you took so many wiener pills, the side effect is you can’t get celebrities right anymore.

MATT RIFE: I don’t think that’s that bad.

THEO VON: You meet like Beetlejuice, you’re like, “Hey, what’s up, Shaq?”

MATT RIFE: Dude, I met Shaq, by the way, for the first time. I did a thing with Burt for the Netflix Festival.

THEO VON: He’s—

MATT RIFE: He really is that fing big. He’s gigantic, man. Also one of the best senses of humor of like a non-comedian I’ve fing ever met.

THEO VON: Really, dude?

MATT RIFE: He’s funny, loves a good joke about himself, man. You know, Burt was doing the whole, you know, the whole shirt takeoff thing backstage for this promo video. Shaq took his shirt off and I was like— he did?

THEO VON: Damn, is he jacked?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man. Dude, look how ripped.

THEO VON: Yeah. Man, sometimes I like to reminisce about summertime. Summertime, baby, it was hot. And Mom would try to make the best out of things though. And she said one day, she said, “I’m going to take y’all to see the world’s biggest anthill,” about 70 miles from us. And so we sat there and we weren’t really excited, but we was curious. And sometimes that was enough in the summertime to get you out of the house.

And Mom didn’t know, but I’d snuck me a little deviled egg in my pocket so I could get me a little snack. I’d snuck a little DE down in my pocket with a piece of ice next to it so I could keep it cool in there. And we got to that anthill and it was— I mean, you couldn’t even imagine how big it was. You needed two people to imagine it at the same time to even have the imagination of it. It took two imaginations.

And they had all types of ants in there. They had ants, they had step-ants, ants once removed, they had cants, they had ants that just couldn’t do it anymore, you know. They just had— they was dealing with impairments or high blood pressure. And we were about 95 minutes into the tour. We’d been coming around the east end of that anthill and I’d been bit probably 20, 30 times by now.

And they had a little rest area, a little bathroom area. So I’m going to sneak off behind these toilets and have me that deviled egg, baby. Have me a little cut of that DE that I had in my pocket. And I reached in there, those ants had picked my pocket clean, brother. I don’t know how much devil was in that egg, but it wasn’t enough to keep those ants away.

So we had some times out there, man, and they were challenging and they were exciting and they were adventurous. And that’s summertime, you know.

So you were up there in Vancouver. Was it an enjoyable experience? Vancouver is awesome.

MATT RIFE: Vancouver is beautiful. I had a good time with that. Being a part of like that pedigree of a project is awesome. Anthony Boyle and Julia Garner are the leads of it, and they’re just such f*ing great actors. Like, if they’re not nominated for an award for the show, I mean, it’s robbery. They’re so, so talented. So to get to learn from people like that day after day for 7 months was just an awesome opportunity.

It was so hard though, like the dialogue was just not something I was familiar with. Like it’s all about crypto shit, so like every line I’m having to Google what I’m even saying.

THEO VON: Oh really? Was that intense?

MATT RIFE: Oh my God. So obviously memorizing the lines was a lot more difficult than just like a day-to-day conversation. Yeah, but it was a good challenge. I got a lot— I love acting. I want to do more of it for sure.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, I think so. But the thing about acting is it takes away from that stand-up. It takes away from that stage time.

MATT RIFE: It definitely does.

Balancing Work and Life

THEO VON: It’s hard to go because if you have those long days— were you having long days?

MATT RIFE: Oh yeah, I mean, you’re on set for sometimes a 17-hour day, right?

THEO VON: You can’t go do stand-up at the end of that day.

MATT RIFE: No, but most of the 7 months I was filming Monday through Friday and then Saturday morning, I’d get on a plane to go do a show Saturday night, fly to the next place Sunday, and then I’d have to take a red-eye after the show Sunday night to be on set at like 6 AM Monday morning. So there were some weeks where I’m showing up on no sleep.

But if you want to do it all, that’s the price to pay for it. But also with stand-up, I’ve been doing it for literally half my life, and I’m so blessed to be in the position that I’m in right now. The opportunities I’ve had over the last couple years— there starts to become more of a question of, what now with stand-up? I’ve sold out Madison Square Garden, I’ve done the Hollywood Bowl. What is supposed to be after that?

For me, that’s when the fun of just the creative behind it is what kind of has to propel you. I still have these funny thoughts and these stories that I want to tell. You have to just enjoy doing stand-up. You find something to chase, but it’s not always a venue. Sometimes it’s just expression.

Finding Purpose After the Grind

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, I think it’s interesting you say that. I’ve been at a spot right now where my friend and I made a movie that we made ourselves, that came out and we did the whole process. And then we just taped a comedy special. There’s been some things that have just come to an end, right?

MATT RIFE: And touring. Yeah.

THEO VON: And that’s all finished right now. For the first time in 20 years, I don’t have a tour date on the books, and I don’t ever have to have one if I don’t want to.

MATT RIFE: How does that make you feel?

THEO VON: It’s a lot of things. I’ve had a little bit of depression. I didn’t know what it was from. There’s not a ton to do. There’s podcasting, but I haven’t really felt a lot of motivation. I just don’t know, and I don’t know if some of it’s because there’s just not a ton to do.

MATT RIFE: Do you feel fulfilled in that field?

THEO VON: Sometimes I feel like, well, what do I want to do now? Did I just start stand-up 20 years ago and I’ve just been doing it? I do know that I want to keep doing it. I don’t know if I want to get on stage right now, but there is part of me that’s like, well, what else do you want to do?

I kind of wish that there was a family aspect in my life right now, like wife and children, but that’s not there. That’s okay. You gotta wait till that comes along. But I do think there’s some patience needed with not having the craziest days, and that’s okay. Having patience with “I don’t know” is kind of tough for me.

MATT RIFE: No, it’s very hard. It’s fear of the unknown, especially when you’re used to working for— you said 20 years. You’re waking up day after day trying to create opportunity for yourself, whether it’s a tour or whether it’s filming something or producing something, developing something.

I can’t take a vacation. If I take 3 days off and I haven’t performed stand-up in 2 weeks, I feel like I’ve forgotten everything. I’ve been going crazy. I’m only home for 2 to 3 days at a time. When I’m there after the second day, I’m like, f*, I feel like I need to be doing something when I don’t. It’s okay to take a break and just be healthy and be where your feet are at for a little bit.

THEO VON: Yeah, I think that’s the tough part for me right now. And then I think some of it’s asking God, like, what is good? Does God want me to be doing what— I go to that place of prayer, like, help me figure out what I want to do? Because I’m not feeling a ton of motivation. I just don’t know. That’s the thing. So it’s just kind of interesting.

MATT RIFE: I think that’s totally fine, man.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s just hard to be like—

MATT RIFE: It’s incredibly hard, man, when you’ve been chasing something for so long and then you feel like you’ve accomplished— that isn’t the right word, but you at least got to a place of comfortability where you don’t need to be killing yourself every single day. It’s hard, man, going from 100 to 0 or 2. It’s hard to coast.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s hard. And you start to— all the little things come in, like, am I doing enough, or I’m going to fall off. And some of that’s all just bullshit. But all those little things kind of come in, and you put each one on the scale and ask, what weight does this really have? And sometimes it jumps on the scale itself, some of these fears or things, and you don’t even know it, and you’re under the weight of it before you realized, oh, I didn’t even put this there. This just kind of showed up.

MATT RIFE: How much of it is ego, you know what I mean? How much can I put that aside, and how much is actually important to me?

THEO VON: That’s the biggest thing. It’s so hard. How much of this is ego? What’s important? What do I need? And how can my voice best be used moving forward for myself and for anything? All that kind of stuff. Does that make sense to you?

MATT RIFE: That makes perfect sense. I can’t thank you enough for even understanding what that feels like. Most people just don’t get that. There’s a fear of slowing down for sure. I mean, we were doing 40 to 50 shows a month between 2024 to the beginning of 2025. 6 to 7 nights a week, 2 shows a night, dude.

Sleep Struggles and Insomnia

THEO VON: Your schedule was scary, dude. I remember we spoke one time— you were having a sleeping disorder?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, you called about that. I really appreciate that, by the way.

THEO VON: You were having a sleeping disorder?

MATT RIFE: I have horrible insomnia. I literally cannot fall asleep without the assistance of something.

THEO VON: What was keeping you up? Were you drinking coffee late in the day?

MATT RIFE: No, no, I don’t do any caffeine at all. Never have. You know when you’re about to fall asleep and then there’s just that light switch that goes off? Your brain’s just off, now you’re unconscious. I can’t flip the switch. I can’t do it. I can get so close. My brain just cannot do it. I’m not even thinking about things. I’m not up anxious about anything. I’m not worried about anything. There’s not anything in particular in my life that I’m worried about. Just can’t do it. I’ve been to sleep doctors, I’ve got therapists.

THEO VON: Did you go to sleep doctors?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah. And they all just want to prescribe you medication. But I’m like, that makes me feel even crazier. Having to get help to do the most basic human thing feels f*ing crazy. I do take something that helps me get to sleep, but it doesn’t keep me asleep, and I still don’t sleep well. Most of my doctors think it’s probably just an underlying anxiety, but I don’t want to take anxiety medication. I don’t want to.

THEO VON: And are you laying there all horny or whatever, or are you just laying there with your brain running?

MATT RIFE: Way past that, dude. My dick is like fing tapped out. You’re done? Oh, I’m empty, bro. Falling asleep with fing Lego hands, dog.

THEO VON: Oh damn.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man.

THEO VON: What are you saying?

MATT RIFE: You never jerk off to try to fall asleep?

THEO VON: Oh yes, dude. Yeah. What are you talking about? Probably less than 30 hours ago I did.

MATT RIFE: We shook hands as soon as I came in here, man.

THEO VON: Dude, I have showered once since then.

MATT RIFE: You ever accidentally get a wake-up nut though when you’re trying to fall asleep? That boost of energy on accident?

THEO VON: Like, what do you mean? Like, if you jerk off in the beginning of the day, what is that wake-up nut?

MATT RIFE: A wake-up nut is kind of like— I imagine it’s like a shot of B12. It’s like getting into a cold plunge. There’s just something that kind of shocks your system. You’re like, okay, I’m ready to tackle the day.

THEO VON: So you wake up and do a nut?

MATT RIFE: Sometimes, just depends on the day. Depends on the weather.

THEO VON: Wow, really?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, if it’s sunny out, I’m not going to jerk off in the gloom.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, dude, I don’t know, I’m more like emo. I think I’m that Tim Burton nut monkey, dude. I think I’m more like, you know, it’s cloudy out, we got a 40% chance of nut, bro.

MATT RIFE: See, that feels depressing to me. My dick’s not going to give it its all.

THEO VON: Dude, my dick gave up. I don’t think my dick ever even wanted to be a part of me and them in a partnership. But yeah, I agree. But on a sunny day, I’m jerking off. The Lord has blessed me with this beautiful sun, and I’m going to be like, oh, let me show you what I can do.

MATT RIFE: Just add a little something to it, you know what I mean? I want to be walking on sunshine, dog.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right, bro.

MATT RIFE: I want to ride that high.

THEO VON: Yeah, you’re right, bro. There’s different avenues to it for sure.

MATT RIFE: If you jerk off after 7:30 PM, that’s more of a downer. I feel like that’s supposed to relax you.

THEO VON: That’s to close it down.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I think so.

THEO VON: Well, what did they tell you? Did you try a CPAP machine? Did they do all that kind of stuff too?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it’s not a problem like that, dude. Honestly, they can’t figure out what the problem is, which drives me f*ing crazy. I’m like, what am I, an anomaly? I’m the one person in the world who has whatever problem I have with my brain? Doesn’t seem possible, right?

THEO VON: Like, you’re a wake squatch or something.

MATT RIFE: A what?

THEO VON: A wake squatch. You’re like Bigfoot, but for somebody that won’t sleep or whatever. Like, have you seen him? He doesn’t sleep or whatever.

Michael Jackson, Sleep Issues, and Award Shows

MATT RIFE: I think I have whatever Michael Jackson had. Maybe I have vitiligo or something. Maybe that’s keeping me up.

THEO VON: Does that keep you up? Maybe. Dude, I just saw this thing the other day about when Michael Jackson went to Brazil. Can you bring that up, dude? He did a lot of things that he like challenged the status quo. Like, he wanted to go to Brazil to the favelas to shoot— which video was it? “They Don’t Care About Us” right here, a song by the American singer Michael Jackson.

MATT RIFE: Initial release, man, he was a beautiful Asian woman.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, dude, I saw him one time when I was on stage. He— we used to do the— there was a comedy club in Westwood. I can’t even remember it now. It was like Steve Byrne was there all the time, Adam Hunter, like a lot of great comics in the LA scene. Dane would come in sometimes, but out the window— I was on stage one time and out the window next door there was an Ahh’s costume shop. A-H-H-H-S, like, ah. And, yeah, dude. And he pulled up with some security guards and got out and went in there. It was like after hours, they let him go into the costume shop.

MATT RIFE: No way. Yeah, you would open up the store for Michael Jackson.

THEO VON: I’m on stage and I see— and I know he lived not far away and it was the craziest thing. I’m like, oh, that’s Michael Jackson. And I’m on stage saying— because I can see out this window on stage and the audience can’t see it from the second story.

MATT RIFE: Oh, they think you’re making it up.

THEO VON: Yeah, they get— you’re like, you’re a f*. I get some guy yelled.

MATT RIFE: I’m like, whoa, just because I saw Michael Jackson. Yeah, dude, no, no, he’s really there. He’s not my f*ing sleep paralysis demon.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. Yeah, so people will just call you just that for anything now.

MATT RIFE: Oh, I know.

THEO VON: What are we talking about?

MATT RIFE: Sleep.

Sleepless Nights and Cancelled Shows

THEO VON: And then, oh yeah, what were some of the modalities that they— because I’m assuming you went pretty deep down this hole trying to figure this out. Oh yeah, because you had to take a break, right?

MATT RIFE: At some point, right? Yeah, man, I had to cancel shows.

THEO VON: And you had how many doctors for it?

MATT RIFE: I had like 6 doctors at some point, all doing different things in different categories or whatever.

THEO VON: And like, what were they— were they taking your blood? Like, what were they doing?

MATT RIFE: I mean, blood tests, they check all that kind of stuff. I was doing scans on my brain or whatever, trying to measure like what parts of it don’t turn off, that kind of thing. Apparently I’m normal, but I just cannot sleep, dude. It’s awful.

But yeah, I did have to take a couple weeks off because I like passed out on the way to a show and people were f*ing pissed, dude. I mean, it was like an hour before the show was supposed to start, but I hadn’t slept for like 5 days.

THEO VON: What was going on? Like, were you manic?

MATT RIFE: Oh, incredibly, incredibly, dude. I mean, I’m up like crying between the hours of like 4 AM and 9 AM just because I’m like, I just want to go to sleep. I’m exhausted and I cannot shut my brain off. I’m like journaling to like my f*ing dead grandfather. I’m like, “Hey man, send some sleep, dog, something.” Jerking off, back to journaling, jerking off, back to doing everything I can.

And I was heading to the show and I like nearly fainted and fell into the bushes. And I was like, I cannot do this show. Like I will not make it. Like I might even be— I wouldn’t even be able to sit down on the stool. So we had to cancel the show. I’m laying in the hospital. I’m getting like death threats. And people like in bars in Indiana being like, “We hope Matt Rife f*ing dies.” And I’m like, I’m going to, dude. Yeah, people did not care.

Morgan Wallen and the AMA Bit

THEO VON: But that’s like Morgan Wallen just had a— they had a weather issue for his show.

MATT RIFE: I saw that, but it’s like, he’s not a meteorologist. It’s not up to him.

THEO VON: Yeah, he’s doing the best that he can and people just— they won’t cut him a break.

MATT RIFE: Let’s imagine it was like strong winds or something like that. I think they were—

THEO VON: Well, he has a big set and it’s like, you know, once if something falls, it’s—

MATT RIFE: Bro, a tornado touches down in the middle of a concert and he didn’t cancel it. Yeah, he’s done, dude.

THEO VON: It’s—

MATT RIFE: I think people die at the concert.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s over. You can’t be on stage, you know. “Guess I’m the problem.” And like, people are getting hit by lightning.

MATT RIFE: Of course. Twisters touching down. Yeah, of course.

THEO VON: Yeah, that’s crazy. There’s a twist just throwing people up on stage. Yeah, man, it was like people are passing by you in the air.

MATT RIFE: You can’t please everybody, man. Yeah.

THEO VON: He would have been— people are just flying. People are wishing they had sand in their boots because they would be anchored down better. It’s like, cut the guy some damn slack, man. He just wants to do his best.

MATT RIFE: He’s f*ing awesome. You know, I had Kyle dress up as him for the AMAs. Is that what it was for? Yeah, because they had me presenting and I was—

THEO VON: Kyle’s here, he’s sitting here with us, one of the best photographers.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, he does all my videography.

THEO VON: He does a great job. Yeah, I couldn’t hire him because you had him.

MATT RIFE: Well, sorry. Well, if something happens, you could outbid me. You’re up on the block, boy.

THEO VON: Look, dude, yeah, now look, I’m not saying I’d get one. I’ll make sure I get a friend with them.

MATT RIFE: Well, I wanted to.

THEO VON: They say you can’t have them be alone. They’re kind of like goats. We’ll see about it.

MATT RIFE: They have me presenting in a country category, so I just wanted to do some kind of bit for it, and the bit was to basically get everybody to be like, “Oh my god, Morgan Wallen is here.”

THEO VON: And where was that at?

MATT RIFE: This was the AMAs in Vegas. So he shaved his beard completely down, he had just the mustache, and he had this big old mullet wig with a little hat down. He looked just enough like him. The bit was supposed to be that like the camera goes to him, it’s so obviously not Morgan Wallen, and that was going to be the bit. But he looked so much like him that people were like, “Okay, cool, Morgan Wallen’s here.” Like, it completely f*ing failed because he looked so much like him.

THEO VON: Yeah. Is that online?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I posted it on my Instagram, I’m sure, and all the country pages and stuff picked it up and everything. They’re like, “Oh, Matt Rife takes a dig at Morgan Wallen.” I’m like, that’s the complete opposite. I’m saying he’s definitely too f*ing good to be here. He is too good to be here. He’s selling out the moon, dog.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, that’s hilarious.

MATT RIFE: He gets snubbed on so many of these awards. I don’t get it.

THEO VON: I don’t think he cares about it.

MATT RIFE: Well, I mean, what does it matter if you know— you know you’re the Entertainer of the Year. Who the f* else is doing multiple stadium shows?

THEO VON: I agree. It’s like, wow, what— this is just for you, you know? 100%.

MATT RIFE: It’s just talking about ego earlier, right?

Awards, Algorithms, and Real Success

THEO VON: Right. It’s just for the ego of these companies. A lot of these things, you know, they want to keep this idea that some select people get to decide who the Entertainer of the Year is. It’s like, let the numbers decide.

MATT RIFE: Oh, 100%, you know, I couldn’t agree more.

THEO VON: It’s like with the— they’re trying to give a podcasting award or something earlier. I think this was this year or last year. And like, do you want to be in the award? You have to pay to be, you know, you’re—

MATT RIFE: You got paid to be in consideration.

THEO VON: They gave you a nomination, but then you have to pay to be, to see if you’ll be like one of the top 5 or whatever.

MATT RIFE: That’s so weird.

THEO VON: And it was like, first of all, pay us to nominate you. That was part of the edge of it, right? You have to pay to continue to be nominated. And I can’t remember who it was, but that was part of it. And then they gave the award to like, I think it was Amy Poehler’s podcast, which is great, right? She’s one of the most talented entertainers that there are. But if you’re not giving that award to Joe Rogan, then what are we even doing?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it’s like, right, he wasn’t even nominated for it because he didn’t self-bid himself, right? That’s crazy.

THEO VON: But it’s like, it doesn’t matter giving it to him. Like, then what are we— we’re just playing some game of yours. 100%. It’s not a real thing.

MATT RIFE: You say you’re playing Algorithm in an award show.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah. So it’s like, I think a lot of people see through all that shit. Like, I want— give me something that’s real, that’s fine, but I don’t want something that’s some made— I don’t want to live in some made-up type of thing where you decide who gets to be this thing.

MATT RIFE: And that’s why I think touring is so fing awesome, because it’s totally in the hands of like your fans, right? It is literally a physical— that’s what I’m looking for. F. It’s proving that you have a connection with the people, right? Like, those people are paying to come see you. That’s harder money that they saved up. They got a babysitter, this is their anniversary, whatever it is. Those people are coming to see that. Like, that success speaks for itself. If you can move people to come see you in real life, what does it matter what 8 people voted in the middle of Hollywood or Nashville or whatever it is?

THEO VON: Yeah, I agree, dude.

MATT RIFE: Dude, like, that’s the true success, I think.

THEO VON: Just let it be what it is, you know. I think I also have like a— I get some angst towards some of that Hollywood stuff, so I think I get it. I have a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about some of it. I don’t even know why all the time.

Let’s show this clip though right here. And yeah, dude, Morgan could go— Morgan could literally go back in time before people even knew him, and people like, “I heard he’s good,” you know. He could go like 40 years ago, and people somehow like, “Yeah, I heard he’s—”

MATT RIFE: I heard that guy’s good.

THEO VON: Yeah, man, bro, look at this right here, dude. Is this AI? You get accused of being AI a lot?

MATT RIFE: All the time. All the time.

THEO VON: So AI, bro, you are AI.

MATT RIFE: I’m in Rhode Island right now.

THEO VON: What the heck? I never even realized it, dude. Dude, you’re like my f*ing hot lesbian aunt that’s AI, dude.

MATT RIFE: You have a hot lesbian— Yeah, I’ll turn her out, dog. Let’s f*ing go.

THEO VON: I don’t know, you guys look too similar though. Let me show this award show part.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

MATT RIFE: I think we can all agree that the current state of country music, some pretty good hands, right? I mean, just tonight alone we’ve seen Riley Green, Keith Urban, and actually making his very first AMA appearance, Morgan Wallen is here. Morgan Fallen, dog. He’s my little off-brand.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

Kyle’s Beard and Morgan Wallen Mix-Up

THEO VON: That’s crazy.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, that’s hilarious, bro. Yeah, we first realized he looked like this when he accidentally shaved his beard in Europe one time. We were f*ing tearing him apart. I called him Failure and Heart.

THEO VON: You did? Yeah. You accidentally shaved yours, Kyle? Yeah, that’s hilarious.

MATT RIFE: He nicked a little piece of it and then shaved the whole thing off. We were like, oh, I had to fire him for like 3 weeks. I was like, “I can’t be around you right now. You got a vulnerable neck.”

THEO VON: That’s it. Oh yeah, dude, that’s crazy, bro. Dude, that’s funny, bro.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it was a decent bit, but then almost everybody when I got home were like, “Oh no, we actually thought it was Morgan Wallen.” I was like, well, that wasn’t supposed to be the bit literally at all. He’s wearing my tour cutoff jean jacket, a red Clay Strays hat.

THEO VON: People can’t see that good, dude. I’ll say this, if they— yeah, you had a couple too many wiener pills. Your vision—

MATT RIFE: A lot of people thought he was Paul Rudd. A lot of people were saying it.

THEO VON: All right, voilà, voilà.

MATT RIFE: Am I able to get one more?

THEO VON: Yeah, let’s get another water. Can we get one?

MATT RIFE: Oh, thank you so much. Thanks, brother. Hey, we got that Michael Jackson thing here. I think I found it.

Michael Jackson in the Rio Favelas

THEO VON: Okay. Oh yeah, this looks like it. Let me see. “In 1996, Michael Jackson shot a music video in Rio de Janeiro favelas. The world didn’t know that this historic shoot was only possible thanks to the approval of a drug trafficker.”

MATT RIFE: That’s awesome.

THEO VON: Yeah, the government said it was too unsafe for him to come, but he wanted to come and be around the people. Let me see. “Rio de Janeiro, 1996. Spike Lee’s camera pans across the hills of Dona Marta, a favela clinging to the city’s slopes. Michael Jackson has come to shoot his video, but the setting, a far cry from Hollywood studios, is no ordinary location. The governor of Rio is against it. The police refused to set foot in Dona Marta, and yet the cameras rolled.” That had to be pretty brave, bro.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man. I mean, to be that loved—

THEO VON: Did it say that they looked out for him?

MATT RIFE: I would imagine so.

THEO VON: “So when Michael Jackson arrives in Rio to shoot in a favela, it’s not the mayor or the governor who has the final say. It’s Marcino VP. The man hunted by police is also the one who ensures the King of Pop’s safety.” He was the head of one of the most powerful criminal factions in the city. “Charismatic and ruthless, Marcino had established himself in a world where hierarchy is carved in fear and cemented by weapons. What set him apart from other hill bosses was a strange intellectual depth, almost unsettling for a man at war with the established order.” It’s just pretty wild that he went and shot that there.

MATT RIFE: Feels like he could have did it in Burbank.

THEO VON: Yeah, it does. But I think he— why do we even start talking about this? Do you remember?

MATT RIFE: Not a clue. Oh, I just mentioned that I was wondering what my sleep problems were. I had the same thing that Michael Jackson has. You said, “Hold on a second,” and we went on a 15-minute loop.

THEO VON: Go back a little bit. The tent shoot. I just want to see that part. “The governor of Rio is staunchly opposed. Brazil is still dreaming of hosting the 2004 Olympics. There’s no way they’ll let the world see what’s hidden behind the postcard beaches — to show the poverty, the drugs, the bullet-ridden walls. It would be bad PR.” Jesus. Huh, he went and shot it there anyway.

MATT RIFE: It’s so gangster.

THEO VON: He did stuff like that, dude.

MATT RIFE: “The deal is clear: no money changes hands, no under-the-table bribes, just an agreement.” Wow, that’s awesome.

THEO VON: Yeah, just kind of— wow, look at that, dude. Just to show up there, be that close to people who would never have access to you, you know what I mean? And also, you get in some dangerous neighborhoods, it’s dangerous.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, but I mean, it sounds like the people he’s getting approval from are like, “Nobody’s going to f with you. We would be the people to f with you. Nobody’s going to f* with you.”

THEO VON: That’s the thing.

MATT RIFE: That’s awesome.

THEO VON: That’s awesome, bro. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s the people you like. If you’re with the people, you’re with the people, you know? It doesn’t matter what these other fancy people say about this or that. I don’t care, you know? Say this guy’s the number one award winner, this guy’s this, or whatever. The truth is the truth, 100%, you know, no replacement for real life. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, I feel kind of animated about that, and I don’t know why.

MATT RIFE: I like it. This passion.

The Ed and Lorraine Warren House

THEO VON: Take me on a little bit more of— so you bought Ed and Lorraine’s house. Take me through the house that you bought and what you guys have done with it. I know there were articles going around that you guys were doing like— you guys had turned it into a haunted Airbnb where people could go and stay.

MATT RIFE: It is essentially that, yeah. We were approached by Ed and Lorraine Warren’s family, that they were going to sell the house and we were the first people that they wanted to offer it to. And obviously we were f*ing psyched about it. I mean, we have so much respect and love for their family and what they mean to the paranormal community.

To get to be a part of arguably the most prominent piece of paranormal history on Earth, being the Annabelle doll in the Warrens’ house, is f*ing awesome, dude. And we got the house as is. Like, we have all their old clothes, all their old tape recordings. I mean, there’s hundreds and hundreds of old recordings and letters from cases that never got turned into movies and TV shows and stuff like that. And it’s so cool, man.

I mean, the house itself, museum aside, is f*ing terrifyingly haunted. But there’s such a warmth to it. Like, regardless of what they did and who they were and what they were around all the time, it still feels like such a cozy family home. So we’ve opened that up to the public to be able to be stayed in as an Airbnb, and it’s attached to the museum, which holds— I think it’s something like 700 artifacts or something like that in the museum, as well as the Annabelle doll.

THEO VON: And take me through like a brief synopsis of the family and the Annabelle doll for people that don’t know.

MATT RIFE: Ed and Lorraine were the most famous ghost hunters pretty much in the history of it. I mean, they helped— I guess documented, I’m going to say, a few hundred families.

THEO VON: And they were spousal? They were married?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, absolutely, dude. She was a psychic medium and then Ed was an author. And they put out a lot of good books, and they helped a lot of f*ing people. And they are the family behind like the largest scary movie franchises in the world, between Annabelle doll, The Conjuring movies, Amityville Horror, all that good stuff.

THEO VON: And how did they help a lot of people— you said they helped a lot of people.

MATT RIFE: Well, I mean, a lot of people dealt with like possessions and haunted homes and a lot of haunted objects and everything, and they would go to help these families with either casting out the spirits via exorcism. Sometimes it was taking an item, like the Annabelle doll, off of the family’s hands and putting it in a more secure place, stuff like that.

THEO VON: So you have the Annabelle doll now?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it’s pretty crazy, bro. It’s a pretty wild thing to own.

THEO VON: Yeah, that is, huh?

The Annabelle Doll

MATT RIFE: Yeah. I mean— do you believe in ghosts?

THEO VON: Yeah, I believe in ghosts, but I get scared about it because it’s like, if you go summon ghosts— if you look at it as like the devil, I think there’s different ways to look at it. If you look at it as like a spiritual thing, like maybe something that’s in between here and there, but if you look at it as like satanic, you’re trying to summon Satan, then that stuff is a little scary.

MATT RIFE: Oh yeah, I don’t f with that stuff at all, regardless of like there being a demon literally attached to that doll. Like, I don’t f with it. I’m not hanging out with the doll. That was the crazy thing. People— I mean, that’s a very passionate community, and it’s one that I respect and I’m happy to be a part of, but people thought I was like— because I’m a comedian, that I was going to like disrespect this doll. They thought I was going to turn this house into a f*ing frat house and Annabelle was going to be crowd surfing from like a stretched-out blow-up doll.

THEO VON: Oh yeah, I could see that, dude. People always want to think about stuff like that. Did you do anything cool with Annabelle? Like, were you guys able to even like have her, like bring her out to have like a tea or something?

MATT RIFE: No, God no. We would never let her out of that box ever. We’ve only had to move the box a couple of times, and I even— I don’t f*ing touch that.

THEO VON: Really?

MATT RIFE: I let Elton— we have a couple of priests that help with that.

THEO VON: Really?

MATT RIFE: Oh yeah, I’m terrified of it. Yeah, I’m never there, by the way. Like, I’m not at that— people thought I was living at the house with Annabelle. I’m f*ing never there.

THEO VON: You’re not?

MATT RIFE: No. I check on Annabelle like I look for racism on Twitter. I’m like, good, it’s still there. If it’s going to exist, it might as well be contained, you know what I mean? Nowhere to find it.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Wow, bro, it’s pretty awesome, man. It’s so fascinating to me.

Expanding Into Horror

THEO VON: Do you want to create more stuff around like the horror genre? Like, is that something you start to feel like? Because you said you’re kind of at this space where it’s like you’re thinking, well, what else is possible and what else would I like to do and what direction?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, on the entertainment side of things, I would love to develop some kind of horror project, whether it be a TV show or a film or something like that. But I mean, we’re also even expanding in that space. Like, we’re moving the museum and expanding it to a location in Salem, Massachusetts — I think it’s going to be this September or August that it’s going to open up.

There are a couple other properties that we could potentially be buying as well. So I mean, I’m so fascinated by it. Like, it is so new to me that I think it’s very exciting. It’s cool just to learn about it. And this creates a lot of opportunity for people to educate themselves on that world. People are fascinated by it, but they don’t know a lot about it. So this is kind of like firsthand experience.

THEO VON: Have you had a supernatural experience of your own?

Ghost Hunting and EVPs

MATT RIFE: Oh yeah, dude. Of all the investigations and stuff we’ve done, I mean, I’ve heard so many things that I couldn’t possibly explain. I mean, I’ve heard my name be said. I like EVPs, which is like the voice recordings, the most. To me, that’s the most fascinating because it’s audible. It feels tangible. You’re getting a direct response to a question you asked. To me, that feels so undeniable. Like, I’m in the room. I know who else is in here. I know this hasn’t been tampered with in any kind of way. To me, that’s as close to undeniable as possible.

I’m trying to think of the most prominent one. We were in, I think this was Mansfield Reformatory in Ohio, I believe.

THEO VON: Shut up.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, shout out Mansfield. That’s where they actually filmed Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, it’s a really, really cool space. We were in what used to be the old library. We were asking, like, what did this room used to be? And you hear, loud, clear as day, “library.” No. Yeah, it’s f*ing terrifying.

We were doing some in Lorraine Warren’s house, in the tunnel that goes from the house to the museum. Our friend was in there asking, like, do you mean us harm? And you hear, “if possible.” It’s crazy shit like that, but it’s still so fascinating to me. I’m passionate about it because on a spiritual level, it helps kind of reassure me that there is something else. When my grandpa passed away, I had this really big moment of like, okay, there can’t just be this. There has to be something out there. There’s no way I won’t ever see this person again. So the fact that I can go communicate with other, what I assume are people or spirits of people, to me that brings me a little bit of warmth knowing that maybe I will see that person again and maybe everybody gets to see their loved ones again.

Losing His Grandfather

THEO VON: Yeah. Did your grandpa pass away recently or no?

MATT RIFE: It was, I think it’s going on 3 years this October. Maybe 4, 3 years.

THEO VON: Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that.

MATT RIFE: Oh, it’s all right.

THEO VON: That’s him right there.

MATT RIFE: He’s so young. Yeah, man, he was only 67. I know, I know.

THEO VON: Did he get pretty sick?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man, he had cancer, but it was like they found it out of nowhere. His dogs pulled him on his leash and it pulled something in his abdominal slash like rib cage a little bit, and it was hurting him. It was hurting him for a while and it got worse and worse, and he started coughing a lot more and everything. Eventually he went to the doctor and they did a whole scan of everything and they were like, “Dude, you’ve got stage 4 cancer. Lungs black.” Yeah, so he was perfectly healthy like 5 months before he passed.

THEO VON: Dang.

MATT RIFE: I know.

THEO VON: Was that scary? Like, were you guys really close?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, that was definitely like my best friend. That was like my father figure growing up and everything. Yeah, definitely. I spent every weekend of my childhood with him. Every single weekend.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: I definitely wouldn’t have got into comedy if it wasn’t for him.

THEO VON: Dude, yeah, it almost looks like your daddy, he’s so young.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, geez, it looked like a Zika baby.

THEO VON: Let’s go! Got a dome on him, bro. BLM, dude.

MATT RIFE: I know. Yeah, that’s what’s up. Yeah, he f*ing loved comedy. He’s the one who used to take me to open mics when I was like 15, and he would pay like the $5 a head to bring his show shit. He would like buy 5 tickets.

THEO VON: Would he go perform?

MATT RIFE: No, God no.

THEO VON: But he would get you into it, you mean like physically? Or like, why did he take you over there? Because he knew you wanted to do it?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah, like he thought I was funny. We would f*ing kill each other laughing every weekend my entire childhood. So it was really cool. He got to see me sell out a comedy club. I think it was the Cincinnati Liberty Funny Bone. Yeah, before he passed. Which I think is the hardest part. It’s like, kind of like what we were talking about with Ralphie earlier. It’s like, if there was one person I wanted to share all of this with, it would have been him. So I feel like he doesn’t get to see this. Kind of sucks.

THEO VON: He’s out there. Steve, that’s his name? Yes.

MATT RIFE: What’s up, Steve?

THEO VON: Shout out Big Steve, my guy.

MATT RIFE: Oh dude, he f*ing loved Ralphie too.

THEO VON: Did he? Oh dude, that’s so cool, bro. He can hear us. I feel him right now. Steve’s milling around, bro, with his 97 different haircuts.

MATT RIFE: I know, bro, that was like the shortest his hair ever was. He used to grow it down to like his butt crack, dude. F* yeah, total hippie hair, man.

THEO VON: Dude, a lot of people with the name Rick have ponytails. You notice that?

MATT RIFE: Mostly Ricks and Steves, I would argue.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah, dude. Ponytails are Rick and Steve.

MATT RIFE: It’s a power move, dog.

THEO VON: Yeah, bro.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I’ll still pray to him before every show and everything, just being like, “Hope you enjoy it. She’s watching.”

THEO VON: Amen, bro. That’s awesome, dude.

MATT RIFE: Thank you.

THEO VON: That’s quality stuff.

MATT RIFE: I appreciate that. Yeah.

YouTube vs. Netflix — Comedy Specials

THEO VON: I’m going to pivot a little bit. Some of your comedy specials, your first few came out on YouTube, right?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, yeah. I put out the first two, and then I did a crowd work one on YouTube as well.

THEO VON: And then did you do one on a streaming platform?

MATT RIFE: Then it was Netflix. Yeah, I did Natural Selection for Netflix.

THEO VON: Netflix. Did you feel any difference? Because one feels more like it’s for the people, just— did you feel any difference between doing some that way and doing one for Netflix?

MATT RIFE: I mean, you do a special for Netflix for like self-validation, to be like, “I made it to what is supposed to be the pinnacle platform for comedy.” But I think the difference was the YouTube stuff I did entirely by myself. Like it was just my friends helping me. I directed the first one, then I got Eric Griffin to direct the second one. And even the crowd work one, which was like a totally experimental thing, I literally did it with me and my buddy Elton, who actually ran camera by himself. It was me and one person doing an entire crowd work special. So it was exhausting, but it was super, super fulfilling to have a hand in a little bit of every piece of the creative for that.

I think it was different in that sense. Also, the reach of viewership is different for YouTube and Netflix. Not everybody has Netflix, not everybody likes Netflix, and you’ve got to have a subscription to it versus YouTube. It’s so easy to share. Like I can text you a link, you could watch it right now, and then you could text that link to 10 other people. So I think you actually have a potential to reach more viewers on YouTube than you might on Netflix.

THEO VON: Hmm.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, so I guess it’s again like, what does it mean to you, right?

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s interesting, dude, because I’ve got one that’s coming up, but I think about like, would I like to do it on Netflix. And I’m just looking at a cut of it later today, but it’s like, would I like to maybe do one in the future that would be maybe just for YouTube? That would be more just for like, I do it myself completely. I don’t know, I just think about that sometimes and what that’s like.

MATT RIFE: Oh no, I battle with it all the time. I’m doing my next special towards the end of the year. I can’t really say when yet, but I don’t know what I’m going to do with it just yet. I’m not 100% sure. There’s pros and cons, obviously.

THEO VON: Yeah. And you’re at a place right now where you can kind of do what you choose.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, absolutely.

THEO VON: Which is pretty nice.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, just trying to figure out what fits best.

The Crowd Work Phenomenon

THEO VON: You got kind of pinned with like being the crowd work guy. Like your crowd work started to kind of take clips and make it so that a lot of people were doing crowd work. Do you feel like that’s kind of a true statement?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I would say so. I mean, I definitely wasn’t like the first one to do it. Like Schultz was a big inspiration for me doing that. His crowd work’s f*ing— he’s amazing at that.

THEO VON: He’s so good at it.

MATT RIFE: He was doing this thing that even made me want to start doing any of my YouTube specials, where he was doing like a new minute every single week. Like, he would post a new clip every single week — that’s 52 minutes of material throughout the year. It was genius. Then he would sprinkle crowd work in with that as well. And I was just like, holy shit, I see the importance of content in the stand-up market, which I don’t think anybody had really been paying attention to. Like, you put out specials, but that’s what, once every year, maybe once every 2 years. But comedians weren’t being in people’s faces all day. Like, you weren’t prominent on a platform that people kind of couldn’t avoid you, which I think is prominent for the algorithm.

THEO VON: Well, especially if you don’t have a regular podcast. Like, with podcasting, you do because you just have clips, right? Of course. But if not, yeah, it’s hard to find like, what is that thing without doing a sketch or like planning this big thing?

MATT RIFE: And that’s why I like doing the bit of crowd work that I do during my show, because it’s new and refreshing, right? Like, I’m not doing the same stories and jokes night after night after night that you have to deliver like it’s your first time ever saying it. Like this is something so new and spontaneous that I can post online. It’s not burning any of my material.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, I saw the one where you saw one of your teachers. Is that one of yours? Did you have a teacher that came?

MATT RIFE: No, I think that was Trevor Wallace.

THEO VON: Oh, that was Trevor Wallace.

MATT RIFE: I think his teacher came. Sorry, dude.

THEO VON: It’s okay, it’s fine. Yeah, I’m done f*ing with you, man.

MATT RIFE: Just kidding, man. That’s okay, dude. Sorry. F*ing Trevor.

THEO VON: No, I’m not going anywhere, man. Trevor impersonated you though, I think, and it felt like he was like trying to steal your shit. No, no, I’m just joking. I’m just f*ing joking with Trevor. He would never do that. He’s the nicest guy.

MATT RIFE: I love him. He’s very, very nice.

THEO VON: He is so nice, dude. But did it ever feel like you had to be the crowd work guy? Like you had to do that?

Crowd Work, Viral Moments, and Life on the Road

MATT RIFE: Yeah, it’s a little bit of that. I talked to Adam Ray about this recently too because he’s gotten so prominent with his characters that he does with Dr. Phil and Biden and everything.

THEO VON: I stepped into that and done—

MATT RIFE: It’s unbelievable genius, by the way, to find that. It’s such a specific lane that nobody else has been doing. Nobody. I asked him, I was like, do you find people coming to your show and just wanting the characters? And he was like, all the time. Like sometimes I’ll be in the middle of a story and somebody will be like, do crowd work. And I’m like, I’m going to f*ing get to it if I feel like it, okay? It’s not— that’s not all this is. But like, I’m a goddamn jukebox. Yeah, it’s crazy, man. But I mean, I do it because I enjoy it, you know?

THEO VON: Yeah, that’s like when I was doing those wiener pills. It’s like, get an erection!

MATT RIFE: And you’re like, I’m trying, man, give me a few minutes. Yeah, let me warm them up a little bit.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. Let me nibble off a freaking chunk of my roommate’s wiener pill at an angle so he won’t notice it’s missing, you freak. They’re only freaking 5mg tablets.

MATT RIFE: Do you ever, when you’re touring, do you ever do any crowd work at all?

THEO VON: I do some of it more often now, and I really like it.

MATT RIFE: It’s just fun. It’s just something silly and spontaneous. It gets a bad rap for people being like, “Oh, you’re just doing it because you don’t have the material.” That’s such a hack response to have to it. By what means does that mean that?

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. I was— we were shooting this thing in Lexington a few weeks ago and somebody yelled out “AIDS” right in the middle of the show, and it was just like— it was a woman too. Jesus. And usually AIDS is more of a guy’s thing or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

MATT RIFE: So then what, are you going to not acknowledge it?

THEO VON: I know, dude. I was like, oh, that’s how bad things have gotten.

MATT RIFE: It’s like people just yelling, “A-Town.” Dude, that’s the other hard thing as well, is that venue-wise now, the smaller venue I do, the more people yell out because they want to be the person that gets talked to. Like they want to be the next clip. I’m like, it doesn’t work like that. It’s usually the least assuming person you talk to that you’re going to get the best stuff out of. It’s not the pick-me person in the back.

THEO VON: That’s true, dude. It’s always like that.

MATT RIFE: A comedy club is so intimate. We all kind of feel like we’re hanging out in a living room, to where nobody really wants to be the dickhead to interrupt. That’s kind of perfect. And an arena is so big that they assume you can’t hear them, so they’re not going to waste yelling out. But anywhere in the middle ground, like a theater, people are like, “I know he’ll f*ing hear me.” Yeah, we yell some wild stuff.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, I think there is this weird thing where you yell because you kind of want to be heard, but you do not want to be called on. There’s some of that energy too for some people. Of course, like you want to be a part of it, but you don’t want to be a part of it.

MATT RIFE: I love the dynamic where the wife brought her husband and the husband didn’t want to sit up front. He’s like, “What if he talks to me?” And the wife’s like, “It’s not all about you, Ron,” you know what I mean? And then you end up talking to that guy, he’s like, “This is my f*ing worst nightmare,” and the wife’s loving it. I love that dynamic.

Crowd Work Gone Wrong — and Right

THEO VON: Has it ever backfired? Like, take me on one that backfired. Have there been ones that backfired? Because when you open it up to the crowd, suddenly 40 people want to offer a suggestion.

MATT RIFE: It’s very hard to direct a room full of people who are like, “Okay, now it’s my turn.” That does happen quite often. Usually I’m pretty good at shutting it down and everybody can kind of be cordial, but it happens. But you also get duds, you know what I mean? You f*ing— you interview people, you know what it’s like to talk to somebody who you can’t hold a conversation with. So that happens all the time. I’m not going to post that clip, obviously. It’s not magic every time, but when you do get it, it’s such a fun feeling to have that moment right then, right there with people.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, one time there was a guy and his wife— or girlfriend, whoever it was— had the craziest tits, right?

MATT RIFE: I hope you couldn’t think of tits.

THEO VON: Well, they were so crazy, it was hard to categorize them.

MATT RIFE: They were so insane.

THEO VON: Just, yeah, just these— just boom, bang, you know, just some real— just onomatopoeias.

MATT RIFE: Okay, okay.

THEO VON: Just some damn f*ing— just some milk tonsils, you know, just some L5-S, none. Like you have no cartilage left from holding those up. You could just feel one of her vertebrae having trouble.

MATT RIFE: Goddamn.

THEO VON: Yeah, you couldn’t feel it.

MATT RIFE: The Hindenburgs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

THEO VON: She had them damn blimps. Front blimps. So anyway, dude, they were the craziest looking tits. And the guy’s like— I said, “Oh, what do you do?” He’s like, “I stock vending machines.” And I was like, “And what do you guys put in them?” He’s like, “Muscle milk.” Damn. And he says muscle milk, but then you see where you think he’s getting the milk from. His wife’s just sitting there all quiet with the craziest tits, acting like she doesn’t have crazy tits. And she was wearing a little bitty hat. You ever see somebody who pins a hat on their hair and acts like it’s a real hat?

MATT RIFE: Brooch? Yeah. Of course.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s a f*ing brooch. It’s like a Toy Story hat. Yeah, like, bitch, what are we talking—

MATT RIFE: Did you address the titties?

THEO VON: Yeah, I went on and said, “Well, where are you guys getting the milk from?” And that was just— dude, there was nothing else through the rest of the night that was like— there’s just something about that thing that’s in the moment where— and it was just simple. There was nothing I really had to do. Of course, it was just—

MATT RIFE: Sometimes it just presents itself, bro. I was in Philly, and there’s a guy sitting front row. He’s got these slack pants on and just had the most amount of dick sitting in the front of his pants.

THEO VON: Like a conglomerate?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, man.

THEO VON: Like a 7-dick pileup right in his own pants.

MATT RIFE: Melted 8 or 9 dicks on his dick. It was so prominent, it stopped me in the middle of a story. I took the camera off the cameraman’s shoulder, zoomed in on it— it looked like he shit the front of his pants. It was so much dick. It honestly ruined my night. I was insecure for the next 45 minutes.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude. Oh, when somebody shows up with that stepdad cock or whatever—

MATT RIFE: Stepdad cock is such a real— as somebody who had a stepdad, it’s such a real thing. I was so mad I wasn’t his for a few years, man.

THEO VON: I’d have been afraid to come out of that thing though. That stepdad— you can’t. That’s why he doesn’t have any kids, bro. A kid wouldn’t make it out of that thing, brother. Oh, this is it right here. Biggest dick ever.

MATT RIFE: Is this a video of it? It’s probably a video.

THEO VON: Yeah.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

MATT RIFE: Put your f*ing dick away.

THEO VON: Put your dick away.

MATT RIFE: Cameraman, don’t zoom in. You don’t have to. I can fing see it, dude. He’s smuggling— unbelievable. Cameraman just wouldn’t get the shot of it, and I was like, hold on, why wouldn’t he? See this? I don’t know, sometimes they’re like 3 inches away from somebody’s face, and I’m like, get out of there, you have a zoom. Hold on, it’s tangled up in his dick. Hold on a second, hold on. Look at this fing thing.

THEO VON: You’re moving the camera, bro.

MATT RIFE: Look at that thing, man.

THEO VON: Big bro got that front yard dog.

MATT RIFE: Remember Alien when it’s coming out of her f*ing stomach? Yeah, that’s what it looks like. Wow. Yeah, that’s a lot, man. Turtleneck dick is just a different confidence.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

THEO VON: And he’s wearing a turtleneck too.

MATT RIFE: Yeah. No. Yeah, man, he knows what’s up.

THEO VON: That’s insane. That’s Christmas dick. Christmas dick.

MATT RIFE: If you’re wearing a turtleneck— holiday hog.

THEO VON: Tight pants, brother. Yeah, he knew.

MATT RIFE: You’ve got to know that’s not comfortable. There’s no way.

THEO VON: Oh no, that’s all tight, brother. That’s your whole body.

MATT RIFE: So glad my dick isn’t that big. Yeah, so glad about it.

THEO VON: Yeah, same, same.

Family, Marriage, and Going Viral

THEO VON: Are you married? You’re not married? Oh yeah, no, single. Okay. Do you start thinking about getting married or anything like that, or do you even think about that kind of stuff? Does your mom bug you about that? What’s your mom doing in your life these days? Because she was giving you a hard time about working for Ralph’s coffee. Does she still have that managerial energy, or does she now kind of trust where you’re at?

MATT RIFE: No, she’s so happy with where I’m at, dude. I just got her her second house.

THEO VON: What?

MATT RIFE: Because the first one just wasn’t working out, and she was by herself in the middle of nowhere Georgia, and she’s like, “Nobody comes and visits.” I’m like, “No shit, you live in the middle of nowhere.” So I moved her out to Colorado where my sister lives. Now she’s there with her grandkids and stuff.

THEO VON: Oh, your sister has a couple kids?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, she’s got two daughters.

THEO VON: Oh, that’s your mom right there. What’s her name? April. April, what’s up April?

MATT RIFE: You know what’s so funny? If you look at mom, Christina from Iowa is on the top thing. She’s actually more prominent than my own mom in most of these.

THEO VON: Really? That’s her right in the middle?

MATT RIFE: Christina, top right corner, the blonde hair.

THEO VON: And who was that, your ex?

MATT RIFE: No, no, no, no. God, arguably probably my most famous crowd work thing— she’s like this really hot mom, actually grandma, who lives in Iowa, and I met her on stage. She gave me these cookies and this really sexual shirt and everything. I was like 10 minutes into the show when this happened. I did like an hour and 20 minutes just talking to her, and it was crazy, crazy good time the entire time. We had great chemistry, great banter, the crowd was f*ing loving it.

But at the time, you could only post a 10-minute clip online on Instagram and stuff, so I had to edit it all down to that. Like, the whole show was that, which never happens, by the way. Sounds like I didn’t have material ready for the show, but it was just such a really cool in-the-moment thing. It went stupid viral. It’s got over— I’m sure collectively over a couple hundred million views.

Romania, Europe Tour, and AI Surveillance

THEO VON: Dang.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, really? Yeah, it’s awesome.

THEO VON: No way, she’s awesome, dude. That’s the best, bro. Where in Iowa was that at?

MATT RIFE: Des Moines, the Funny Bone there.

THEO VON: Yeah, yeah.

MATT RIFE: I mean, sometimes crowd work is different every time. That’s the fun. If you’re going to talk to a super hot mom with the biggest dick you’ve ever seen, or somebody all crumpled up in the corner. You don’t know.

THEO VON: Yeah, it is kind of great. Oh, there she is right there. Yeah, yeah, it is great, dude. With crowd work, there’s something really special about it.

MATT RIFE: It’s just real and in the moment, you know.

THEO VON: How do you get your cameraman? Is there a special cameraman who’s like sitting right there?

MATT RIFE: Kyle.

THEO VON: He gets all— you do it all, Kyle?

MATT RIFE: He does all the crowd work stuff.

THEO VON: Oh my gosh.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, then we do a little collaborative editing system together. Yeah, he shoots all of it. Man, the comedy clubs, that feels like a lifetime ago. This is probably 3 and a half years ago, maybe something like that. Maybe that feels like a different lifetime ago.

THEO VON: Wow. Are you off tour right now? Are you going back out? Is there any new places that you’re going that you’re a little bit like—

MATT RIFE: New places this year?

THEO VON: Not like new countries.

MATT RIFE: We just got back from Europe, which was really awesome. We did England, we went to Romania. Romania was f*ing awesome.

THEO VON: My friend, just the second guest in a row that’s talking about Romania. Really? My friend just quit playing basketball. My friend Patrick was playing basketball over there. What?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, he’s white.

THEO VON: White guy? Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Okay.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Can I tell him the story? Okay, so we get to— we have like 5 weeks in Europe straight. This is night 1 of us landing in Romania of the whole trip. Night 1.

THEO VON: 5 weeks is a long time.

MATT RIFE: It’s a very long time. Night 1, we’re like, oh, we’re going to go have some drinks. It’s Friday night. We’ll see what Romania is about. Kyle gets roofied and robbed the first night on tour.

THEO VON: How do you know you got roofied, Kyle?

MATT RIFE: I woke up in an ambulance 50 minutes away from the hotel at 9:30 in the morning. My chain was gone, my camera was gone, and they spent $3,000 on my debit card. Yeah, he couldn’t remember, and they had to carry him through the lobby and everything. He was f*ed up, dude. It was pretty funny.

THEO VON: That checks out.

MATT RIFE: Night one, dude. Night. Well, it was like we got back to the hotel at probably like 4 AM or something like that, and we’re like, hold on, Kyle wasn’t with us. I checked the location on my phone, he’s still at the bar. We thought he had left earlier. That’s why I’m texting with him. I’m like, yo, do you want Jackson and I to come? You know Jackson McQueen?

THEO VON: Oh yeah.

MATT RIFE: He’s so funny. He’s hilarious. I was like, do you want Jackson? I will come back and get you right now. And he goes, “No, it’s all good, I’m heading back to the hotel right now.” I was like, “Are you sure?” He goes, “Yeah, I’m heading back to the hotel. Go to sleep.” I wake up at 9:30 in the morning, my phone’s ringing off the hook, and I’m like, fing what? They’re like, “Yeah, Kyle’s in the back of an ambulance right now.” It’s like, no fing way.

THEO VON: Did you communicate with him, Kyle?

MATT RIFE: No, I could barely open one of my eyes, and I knew I got beat up by strippers. I remember that. That’s all I remember.

THEO VON: Do you have a grill in right now? Yeah. Yeah, okay, that’s interesting.

MATT RIFE: We’re sitting in the van day one after his recovery, it’s all quiet, and we’re trying to ask him little things— we’re trying to give him some space, and he just goes— he goes, “I think those strippers were mean to me.” It was so somber. We’re like, what? He goes, “Yeah, I think they pushed me down a lot.” It was one of the meanest things I’ve ever heard.

THEO VON: That’s wild to say that specifically. “I think they pushed me down.”

MATT RIFE: It was heartbreaking.

THEO VON: Yeah. And all you got was that grill. The worst part is, dude, just taking the grill is hilarious.

MATT RIFE: I’m going to leave them something.

THEO VON: But dude, you did a show in Romania?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, Romania was awesome. We did two shows there. It was so cool. I guess comedy is like a new growing thing there. People are starting to go and perform a lot more if you get an opportunity. They were a f*ing awesome crowd. Yeah, I would love to go back.

THEO VON: And do they speak— is there enough English spoken there?

MATT RIFE: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, everybody there speaks English for the most part. Oh yeah, Dracula’s Castle.

THEO VON: Is it close to Estonia, I wonder?

MATT RIFE: I mean, close-ish. I think Estonia is a little bit further north, I think, because we had Ari Matti and he’s Estonian. Yeah, dude, Ari’s the best.

THEO VON: He’s a tornado of comedy, dude.

MATT RIFE: Europe crowds are f*ing awesome, man. I love performing overseas.

THEO VON: 1,000 miles apart. Yeah. Oh yeah, good time, dude.

MATT RIFE: Sweden was awesome. No, Oslo was really cool. I love performing in England and the crowds are so much fun.

THEO VON: Oh dude, yeah. We had some good spots over there. Ireland.

MATT RIFE: Okay, Ireland’s the best show of the tour every time I go there. They’re f*ing great. Scotland was amazing. You can’t crowd work in Scotland though, dude.

THEO VON: Yeah, why not?

MATT RIFE: Can’t fing understand them. Oh yeah, dude, I’ll say something, they’ll say something back, and I don’t understand it, and the crowd is like— they’re fing cooking me, dude, and I have no idea with what they’re saying.

Data Centers and AI Surveillance

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s legendary over there. What’s in the news, dude? Anything in the news that we wanted to look at? Oh yeah, what’s anything good to talk about? Oh, what do you think about these data center stuff? Do you think about that kind of stuff? Because that’s kind of crazy.

MATT RIFE: I just had to help stop them from putting one in Rhode Island. No way. Yeah, they had to have a whole town hall meeting and everything like that.

THEO VON: You went to it?

MATT RIFE: I couldn’t go, but my friend went and spoke on my behalf, which was very nice. She was very passionate about it, and I mean, she had my approval. I couldn’t agree with her more. It’s just so peaceful out there. It’s going to— it’s just f*ing up what we have, man. I mean, I don’t know too much about them. I’m not even going to pretend like I do. But the most prominent thing that stood out to me, because it wasn’t going to be that far from my house, was there was going to be like a non-stop humming coming from the building. I was like, I don’t want that. I love the— I can hear birds outside, dude.

THEO VON: Well, especially yeah, like something just humming in the distance, dude. Yeah. “New York passes data center moratorium and consumer protections as environmental and housing proposals stall.”

MATT RIFE: So what data is going into these things?

THEO VON: Why do the data centers need to be so big? Do we have anything about that? This is Perplexity. “Data centers are built for continuous operation. Power, cooling, and network paths are duplicated so a failure of maintenance event doesn’t drop workloads. Having parallel systems and physically separated paths.”

Well, my thing is just this— we’re already keeping a lot of data, right? Like our phones, we record stuff all the time, it’s on the cloud. The amount of data that they must want to store now must be astronomical compared to what we’re doing. So that’s what I don’t understand, unless we’re going to go into like a surveillance state, right? Which is— that’s what it feels like a lot of times. It feels like they already are, right? Because then they’re going to have to record around the clock, everywhere, everything.

MATT RIFE: Yeah. And it’s going to put these— they’re just going to put these storage places in random places around the country. That’s so strange to me.

THEO VON: Yeah. Erin Brockovich, I know, was just talking about it. I want to get someone on to talk about some of those data centers just to learn a little bit more about it and what’s going to be going on. Yeah. Let’s see what this says right here. This is: “Tech billionaire Oracle CEO Larry Ellison confesses a dystopian AI mass surveillance network.”

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

LARRY ELLISON: Citizens will be on their best behavior because we’re constantly recording and reporting everything that’s going on.

And it’s unimpeachable. The cars have cameras on them. I think we have a squad car here someplace. But those kind of applications using AI— if we can use AI, and we’re using AI to monitor the video— so if that altercation had occurred, that occurred in Memphis, the chief of police would be immediately notified. It’s not people that are looking at those cameras, it’s AI that’s looking at the camera. No, no, no, you can’t do this. It would be like a shooting. That’s going to be immediately— that’s going to be an event that’s immediately— an alarm is going to go off. It’s going to be— and we’re going to have supervision. In other words, every police officer is going to be supervised.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

THEO VON: It’s going to be wild.

MATT RIFE: What the f*, man?

THEO VON: I mean, if you play that beginning part again, let’s play the first 20 seconds. What does he say? This one part.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

LARRY ELLISON: Citizens will be on their best behavior because we’re constantly recording and reporting everything that’s going on.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

THEO VON: And it’s because we are constantly reporting. It sounds like they’re going to be reporting to him. That’s the thing.

MATT RIFE: It’s so f*ing weird, dude. I mean, do we have to be watched all the time?

THEO VON: I don’t know how we can stop it now. That’s the scary part.

MATT RIFE: Why do we need it? I mean, I understand they’re pushing the agenda of safety, but how much safer is it going to get? Is it just going to be for accountability, you think?

THEO VON: I think that’s— it’s like— and also there’ll be a level of control there because—

MATT RIFE: Yeah, I would say so.

THEO VON: Yeah, if you don’t do certain things, then you’re entering this space. Well, you didn’t do things the right, the perfect way, this exact way.

MATT RIFE: Yeah.

THEO VON: So then what are the repercussions of that?

MATT RIFE: It’s f*ing weird, dude. I don’t even want to live in this time, to be honest.

THEO VON: I know, it feels just kind of like it’s too futuristic.

MATT RIFE: It’s too invasive. When would you have liked to have been alive? If you could pick a couple of decades to have been like— oh, prime you.

Nostalgia, Surveillance, and Wrapping Up

THEO VON: I think probably born in, because I think you— but part of you does, I feel like, want to kind of know. It’s weird, you want to know how it— you want to be a part of the world in the sense you want to like— you hope that the world ends well, because otherwise you feel like, what’s the point? I think that starts to happen. Yeah. You— for me anyway, I’m like, you want to— I feel like for past generations, I bet it felt like, all right, let’s leave it better, we’re all building towards something. And then now suddenly I feel like we’re all standing in a cul-de-sac and we’re like, “What the f* are we building towards anymore?” Our grandparents are like doing OnlyFans now. They’re like, “We’re checked out, we don’t care, it doesn’t even matter, dude.” Like everybody—

MATT RIFE: I do feel that way.

THEO VON: Some of that energy is like, what are we doing?

MATT RIFE: I don’t know what it looks like, a generation after this one, you know? I have no idea what that looks like. Yeah, I think I would have liked to have been born maybe in like ’60, 1960. Yeah, grow up in the ’70s, and then you’re a young adult in the ’80s. And the music culture alone for that would have been f*ing awesome.

THEO VON: Oh, it’s great for film. Everything was magical.

MATT RIFE: I’ve heard good things.

THEO VON: Yeah, everything was magical. And then you get to see how dystopian it’s getting and be like, yeah, I’m glad— Dude, I feel so weird being like the last generation of people who wasn’t chronically online.

MATT RIFE: This isn’t young for some people, but I didn’t get a cell phone until I was like, I think I was almost 15, something like that. It’s like I still got the childhood of like, I got the privilege of boredom.

THEO VON: Yeah.

MATT RIFE: I think that’s good for your brain to be a kid and have nothing to do and have to figure it out. How to entertain yourself. Go make up a game. Go play pretend.

THEO VON: Go walk around and go throw something through somebody’s window. Yeah.

MATT RIFE: Go break some shit. I think that’s good for you.

THEO VON: Yeah, dude, your mom came home, you’re like, you got arrested? You’re like, yeah, I f*—

MATT RIFE: I don’t know, what else was I supposed to do?

THEO VON: Yeah, I threw something through someone’s window. I didn’t know it would break. Just shit like that. Like, you just didn’t know anything.

MATT RIFE: And I think that— I think it makes you a better person.

THEO VON: Oh dude, wandering around just bored, hoping something would happen. A car drove by, you just watching it go by, just watching it, dude. Laying on your floor, hoping your mom wouldn’t come home soon, but also hoping your mom would come home soon.

MATT RIFE: So somebody’s around. Yeah, here’s some racket. Yeah, I think it’s good for you, man. And that’s gone. People will never have that again.

THEO VON: Taking a thousand naps. If anybody came to the door, you would go talk to them, even if it was like a registered sex offender, whatever. Didn’t even matter. You keep the chain on to keep them out, but you still at least talk to them because it was somebody to talk to.

MATT RIFE: Of course. And they were charming, you know?

THEO VON: Yeah, they were good at what they did.

MATT RIFE: I remember having to like ride your bike across town to see if your friend was home. Oh, and they weren’t.

THEO VON: Oh God.

MATT RIFE: And you just had to go back. Yeah, dude, across town. You biked miles. Oh, across grass, dude.

Flock Cameras and Mass Surveillance

THEO VON: Yeah. Oh, you’d find a new way to go. What is this video right here? We’ll watch this and we’ll get you out of here, man. I need to get a show tonight.

MATT RIFE: Okay. You heard about these Flock cameras popping up?

THEO VON: I have heard about these Flock cameras. These are like some of the early cameras going up everywhere. Mass surveillance, public safety, they are linked to the new AI data centers. Let’s play it.

VIDEO CLIP BEGINS:

UNIDENTIFIED SPEAKER: You won’t believe the stickers I found. Somebody is putting these buggers up on every Flock camera in town. Not enough people know that these are not just license plate— These Flock cameras build profiles on individuals that are walking by and in vehicles. They use things like gender, clothing, behavior, and even biometrics to build profiles on you for their Nova platform, even integrating social media profiles, email data, and places that you go. And Flock’s data feeds directly into Palantir’s Gotham, which already powers ICE deportation.

VIDEO CLIP ENDS:

MATT RIFE: What if this is GTA 6? Like they’re scanning everybody in real life, in the real world. Everybody’s going to be in the game. That’s why it’s not out yet.

THEO VON: That, first of all, is the excuse that they need for why it’s not out. And two, that would be absolutely amazing, dude.

MATT RIFE: I mean, they just change a little feature about you, but you’re like, you know, that’s you.

THEO VON: But in the future, they could do that. Some of these companies could then license your existence somehow, or where you at in certain— is into a video game like that, and that gets kind of crazy, dude.

MATT RIFE: That’s pretty sick.

THEO VON: Yeah. Let’s finish out here.

MATT RIFE: Let me see.

THEO VON: Flock cameras have exploded across the US because they’re cheap turnkey crime-fighting tools that let even small departments tap into a national vehicle tracking network. Flock sells subscription packages that include the hardware, cellular backhaul. Their cameras continuously capture plates, timestamps, and vehicle metadata, push it to Flock’s cloud where cops can run searches and set alerts on hot leads. Flock has marketed directly to police, HOAs, and private business, centralizing all plate reads. By 2024-25, the company said it had cameras in roughly 4,000+ cities in over 5,000 communities. What? So, bro, it’s here.

MATT RIFE: Oh, it’s already in? Yeah, it’s done.

THEO VON: That’s the new Annabelle, dude, and she’s out of the box.

Matt Rife’s Upcoming Projects

THEO VON: Talk, Matt Rife, man. You have your new— you’re going to tour?

MATT RIFE: I’m on tour right now.

THEO VON: Yeah. Okay.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, Stay Golden Tour. We’re going through the rest of this year, so it should be fun. Yeah, there’s some fun cities ahead. I’ll be back here in Nashville in October for Bridgestone.

THEO VON: Okay.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, you’re in town for— you got to come through, dude.

THEO VON: Dude, yeah, I will be in town. My friend— is somebody dying or getting married? What’s happening in October? Same thing. October 10th. Yeah, October 10th, something’s happening.

MATT RIFE: It’s my grandpa’s birthday.

THEO VON: It is?

MATT RIFE: That’s creepy. Dang, that’s creepy. Shout out Steve.

THEO VON: Steve, Steve, Steve. Bro, yeah, thank you. Congrats, everything. The FTX series is coming out. You don’t know when yet?

MATT RIFE: The FTX series comes out this December.

THEO VON: And is that what it’s called?

MATT RIFE: No, it’s called The Altruist. That’ll be on Netflix. And then we’ve got the movie with Owen Wilson coming out in October, so it’s a nice little end of the year.

THEO VON: Oh, Rolling Loud, the movie. That’s what it is? Yeah, yeah, dude, that’s crazy, bro. What do you play in this movie?

MATT RIFE: I play his work colleague who happens to also be at the festival. He’s like a big festival head and he helps him look for his lost son in the festival. So it’s just me, him, and his girl Christine Ko, who’s a hilarious actress. She was on Dave. Yeah, so we kind of help him look for his lost son.

THEO VON: Amen, bro.

MATT RIFE: Yeah, dude.

THEO VON: Best of luck, man. Congrats on everything, dude. Thanks for stopping by and spending some time with me, bro.

MATT RIFE: It’s a pleasure.

THEO VON: Pleasure.

MATT RIFE: I know we’ve been trying to figure this out for some years now, so thank you for finally making the time.

THEO VON: I appreciate it. It’s a blessing, man. Your life seems active and busy. It seems like you stay active in your own life as much and just show up for yourself and get things done. That’s exciting. It’s inspiring.

MATT RIFE: Thank you, man. I appreciate that.

THEO VON: Yeah, it’s the truth. Matt Rife, thanks, brother.

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