Call Her Daddy Podcast: w/ Megan Fox (Transcript)

But the artist I was working with had a different vision than what I wanted. And so we got halfway up my arm, “Dust in the Wind” was playing. And just that line repeating over and over again. Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sea and your tattoos that you get kept playing. And I was like, okay, I have to, because this isn’t my vision. It wasn’t a bad tattoo. It just wasn’t what I wanted.

So we stopped with half the tattoo. I kept that for six months. And then I found an artist to cover it. Most people would say I’m grounded, but I’m also very impulsive. When I decide to do something, it must be done right then. I can’t decide it and then do it months from now or I can’t plan far into the future. It has to happen instantly.

And so once I found the cover artist, I was like, we have to get it done. And we just did it four days in a row. It was six hours a day. They won’t tattoo you usually past six hours in one sitting because your skin starts rejecting the ink. So I just did it four days in a row and sleeved it, and then it healed very weird. It didn’t even peel. It was very weird. It just healed. It was just fine.

MGK’s Blackout Tattoo

ALEX COOPER: Someone that you know also got a lot of new ink, and I have to ask about it, or I would get roasted on the Internet. MGK. Should I call him MGK or Colson?

MEGAN FOX: Colson or MGK, whatever you want.

ALEX COOPER: He posted, and I saw all the comments of everyone, mostly being like, what does Megan think about his new tattoo? What does Megan think? What does Megan think? And now I’m sitting here in person with you, and I’m like, I have to ask you, what did you think when you saw the tattoo?

MEGAN FOX: Well, he has a really special story behind why he did that, which obviously, I’ll leave for him to tell. But he had a relationship with the tattoos that he had that he was very conflicted emotionally, whatever they represented. And I don’t actually know. He didn’t like to revisit those memories of some of those tattoos that he had, and he wanted to get rid of them.

But I think the piece that she did for him is very—I think it’s very art. It gives me Rick Owens. It’s an elevated version of all of those tattoos that were pieced together. I think it’s really elegant, and it’s kind of ahead of its time. I think in 10 years, that’ll be a trend. I don’t know how many people can take that kind of pain. So I don’t know. People will be put to sleep and get the tattoos done. But he did it fully awake with no painkillers and no—

ALEX COOPER: Did you go with him?

MEGAN FOX: I went to one of the sessions.

ALEX COOPER: There’s probably many.

MEGAN FOX: There were many, yeah. And it didn’t feel like something to me. It felt like he was going through a spiritual initiation, and that space needed to be respected, and I didn’t need to be there. I stopped by one of them, though. But I don’t actually know how he endured that level of pain because he’s also tattooing on top of tattoos. So you’re tattooing the scar tissue, which makes it even more painful. I don’t know. His liver is also probably not doing well at this time.

ALEX COOPER: Prayers for Colson. I was thinking about as I was reading those comments, I’m like, the Internet is such a wild place. What is the craziest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself on the Internet?

Setting the Record Straight on Satanic Rituals

MEGAN FOX: There’s lots of those. We could talk about that for a while.

ALEX COOPER: Let’s talk about it for a while.

MEGAN FOX: Okay, let’s talk about it. I guess one of the ones that’s very persistent is that I’m satanic or do satanic rituals or maybe adjacent to Illuminati or something in that vein, which I think really started—I don’t know why it started. There was just that one time that I said, “I drink blood ritualistically.” And then everybody was like, wow, she’s into Satanic rituals. Classic. But that was a very misunderstood thing. Let me try to explain it.

ALEX COOPER: Give us some context.

MEGAN FOX: Okay, here’s the context. Everything is a matter of what you’re accustomed to or what is currently socially acceptable or normal. And back in the ’50s even, how many times did you see—probably never, but in movies from back then or even the ’80s, how many times did you see little boys would go out with their little pop guns and they would cut their fingers and be blood brothers, right? And they’re like, “We’re best friends forever now.” And they would smush the blood together on their fingers.

That’s not Satanic. Right? That’s normal. And that’s cute. That’s sweet. That’s an innocent little bond.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, it’s a little bond between kids who love each other. They have a pure friendship.

MEGAN FOX: It’s like that, except instead of rubbing your fingers together, the drop of blood goes in your mouth. And I don’t know why that becomes satanic. I understand people are like, “Hey, that’s weird.” But guess what I think is weird? I think it’s weird that girls are out here letting guys come in their mouth and they don’t know these guys.

You’re letting somebody put their sperm in your mouth and you don’t know what he does. He doesn’t even have a job. You met him on f*ing Tinder. He’s an entrepreneur or whatever. He’s in a startup and you just let him sperm in your mouth. That’s disgusting. That makes my back hurt. That makes me sweaty.

So f* you. You’re so offended that I got a drop of Machine Gun Kelly’s blood in my mouth. You have Brandon from Silicon Valley’s sperm in your mouth. He didn’t even buy you a nice drink.

ALEX COOPER: I’m crying.

MEGAN FOX: Honestly though, it’s a matter of perspective. What is so gross about what I did with my soulmate? You guys are out here letting strangers come on you. This is disgusting.

Megan Fox on Satanic Ritual Rumors and Halloween Costumes

ALEX COOPER: It is. These are the facts we really needed to discuss today. Megan, we could end the interview here, you know what I mean? Because this is the hard-hitting truth. And I appreciate the honesty because when you give us a little context, it does kind of make fing sense. And you’re right. Like anyone can look at it anyway. Like, just like Christianity when they’re like drinking wine and they believe it’s the blood of Christ. Like everyone has their thing, like, let everyone fing live. What do you give a shit? Are you drinking someone’s blood? No. So why do you f*ing care if I do? Like, it doesn’t matter.

But this is a great point about the come. And we should circle back on that for the women at the end of this episode. Really talk about who should be coming inside of you and your mouth and. Yeah, I appreciate this. What other rumors do you have? Any that come to mind? Oh, that’s just the main one.

MEGAN FOX: That’s the first one. And just to clarify, because I didn’t go on record of saying that’s not true, I actually was raised like Pentecostal Christian. I don’t. I’m not currently like a part of the church, but I definitely identify with Christ consciousness and I’m actually a very spiritual, positive person. Except for recently. Except for recently. I’ve been going through it a little bit in terms of positivity, but definitely have never been a part of a satanic ritual. Don’t know any people who have been a part of the satanic ritual.

I’m not sure if the Illuminati is real. It probably is. I have not been extended an offer to join. I feel like if it was real, I would have been given an offer to join by now. So, yes, just to squash that. Not a Satanist or any kind of like an evil witch. Lightworker. Yes, I do rituals, but that doesn’t. That’s not a negative thing. Anything is a ritual. Doing your skincare routine is a ritual. Going to church is a ritual. I think people have to separate that word. That word has been demonized for so long that it’s just been very misunderstood.

And also I think we exacerbated it because Halloween of that year, I dressed up in bondage with a dog collar around my neck and he dressed up as a priest and he was feeding me communion on my knees. And we played Marilyn Manson’s “Sweet Dreams.” We played that. That was the song to the. And people felt like that was the confirmation of the satanic rituals.

ALEX COOPER: So you can kind of see, like, where people may.

MEGAN FOX: Like, they may. I can see. I can see where I planted a seed and there grew a tree in its place.

ALEX COOPER: But you’re here to chop down the tree. Be like, it never f*ing happened.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, he didn’t want me to clarify. He was like, “It’s actually so much. Just let them think this. That it’s so much cooler that people think we’re this bizarre, that we’re this weird, that we’re doing this kind of weird, magical, weird shit in our basement. Like, let them think that this is what’s going on.”

ALEX COOPER: But it is kind of a testament to, like, everything they see on social media is face value. And it’s like, it’s not that deep. It was Halloween.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah.

Megan’s Childhood and Early Awareness

ALEX COOPER: Let’s go back to the beginning. Megan Fox. What were you like as a kid?

MEGAN FOX: I told my mom when I was 2 that I was going to be a famous actress. So I knew. And that wasn’t out of passion for acting, I’ll be honest. I just always knew that that’s what it was going to be. I had, like, an awareness of my destiny for some reason at a young age.

And I was a tomboy when I was a little kid. I was always outside. I had, like, a very assertive energy as a child. And whenever my mom would get, like, secret psychic readings because she was Pentecostal, so that was a no-no to see psychics, they would always read that she had an older daughter and a younger son and that the younger son was me.

And I’m not really sure why I always came through that way, except that I have. No one’s going to know what I’m talking about right now, but I have Mars on my ascendant in astrology, so I have, like, a warrior energy that I was born with. And I think that was translated as being, like, maybe masculine as a child, because it wasn’t docile. But I was, like, a good kid. I was, like, a little mischievous and never interested in school. Always knew that that was not for me.

ALEX COOPER: What was the dynamic like in your house?

Family Dynamics and Childhood Trauma

MEGAN FOX: My parents got divorced when I was 3. And prior to that, I just remember both my parents are still alive, and so I want to be careful not to drag them. But while also being honest, I remember my mother’s depression was really, really affected me very deeply, and it was very visceral for me.

And like, if I were to draw an image of my mother from my childhood, it would be her. Like this is not a literal image, but she just always seemed like, like a soaking wet blanket or like, like draped over a couch, like weeping. That was, that would be like my image of mother because I was so connected to her sadness or her feelings of being unfulfilled and also her resentment towards relationships.

My dad, before I skip ahead, my dad is like really outgoing and funny and charming and like really unique and sparkly. And they, she was, I don’t know, she was not fulfilled in that relationship. For whatever reason, they got divorced. From my perspective as a 3-year-old, he kind of disappeared for a little while. She immediately got remarried.

My stepdad who has passed was probably had borderline personality, but back then he was diagnosed, I think bipolar. And so he was emotionally and mentally and verbally very abusive to me, not to her. And he isolated me from her. And just in general, like, I wasn’t allowed to have friends over or like go to anyone’s house. So I spent a lot of time isolated in my room and wasn’t able to really even spend much. He wanted her, I guess he isolated her is really what was happening. But it seemed as though I was the one being isolated.

Then I watched her depression through that relationship as well. And so the messaging that I received is that men, and marriage in particular, drain you of your life force and keep you from being able to express your creativity or express your unique desires. And it’s an oppressive experience to be in a relationship or to be in love or to be married in particular. Being married, like when I say the word “being married,” I feel my, I feel my chakras tight enough. My back, like, yeah, get tight even though I was married for a long time. So that, does that, does that answer your question about my dynamic?

ALEX COOPER: It is interesting. And you have one sibling. Are you older or younger?

MEGAN FOX: No, I have an older sister, but she’s 12 years older. So she was going to college when I was still really young and she was gone a lot because prior to that, when I was really young, she was in high school and she wasn’t around much and she had a boyfriend and she got married and she moved out.

So I was alone a lot and trying to make sense of my mom’s depression and the disconnects and then the, like the emotional violence coming from my stepfather and also wanting to be with my dad more and not being able to be around him because he always was a light and he still is a light. But he was separated from me in a way where I couldn’t get to the light. It’s kind of like you can’t get to God. That constant wanting to connect with the father figure, either spiritually or literally.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. I feel like a lot of people that I’ve talked to, I have such empathy for people that, whether literally or just, like, by age, kind of had a upbringing that you’re essentially an only child. Like your sister being so much older than you, like, you were in the house alone.

And I feel like a lot of times when there’s such chaos from the parents. There is. I found you can have such an emotional connection to siblings because you can look at someone to your right and your left and be like, “Oh, we’re going through the same shit.” Whereas when you’re an only child, essentially, in those moments, you can only internalize, think “What’s wrong with me?” Or hate what’s going on around you and try to do the complete opposite of what your parents did.

I feel like, obviously we’ve seen in movies, you play just like the most popular hot girl. And when you got to high school, because I know you said when you were younger you were very tomboyish, you would be alone, but what was your high school dynamic like? Like, were you the cool girl or were you the opposite of that?

The Enneagram Four: Identity as an Outcast

MEGAN FOX: No, in middle school, I had. I was always a loner, I guess, and not necessarily by choice, but. Have you ever taken the Enneagram test? Do you know what that is?

ALEX COOPER: I do know what that is.

MEGAN FOX: Do you know what number you are?

ALEX COOPER: I completely forget what number I’m in now.

MEGAN FOX: You’re probably a one, if I had to guess.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, my God. What does that mean?

MEGAN FOX: Is that a good or a seven? Actually, you’re probably a seven. The enthusiast. Take it and then tell me. Take it and then, like, I don’t know how this works, but, like, insert it into this interview and tell me.

ALEX COOPER: If I was right and my face pops up like, I am a one. She’s a.

MEGAN FOX: No, no. Seven. A seven. I think you’re the enthusiast. I’m a four, which is. I think in that one, they call it the romantic. But it’s a. It’s a personality that’s been developed where I identify as being an outcast or being so incredibly unique and unusual that no one could ever understand me.

And so for me, like, the worst insult you could me is that I blend in with everyone else or I have, like, a vanilla personality or that I’m normal, but that actually stems from a family environment where I didn’t feel that I belonged and never felt a part of anything. And then as I went out into the world in school, that was also reflected back to me where I didn’t fit into a friend group and I wasn’t received well by kids.

And then as I left school and went out into the world as a famous person, the world received me that way as well, with a lot of contention and a lot of negativity and a lot of projection. And so it’s a part of my identity, but it’s a survival mechanism to say “I’m a pariah, like, I’m an outlier. That’s who I am and I’m proud of that and that’s who I need to be now.” That’s how I self-identify. But really that comes from a deep wound of looking to have belonged somewhere at some point in my life and never finding a place that I fit.

ALEX COOPER: That’s really actually interesting to hear because I was going to say, like on one hand it is a survival mechanism for you to get through, but I’m also like, isn’t that lonely?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, yeah, it’s super lonely. But I was a lonely baby.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, I’ve been.

MEGAN FOX: I’ve been lonely my whole life. So. And when I meet with like, I’ve met every healer, every psychic, every. They’re always like, “Well, this is your A9 life path. This is your last life. You’re an old soul. Old souls are lonely, old souls are sad. You’ve been doing this a long time. You’ve been through a lot of trauma. You’ve had every kind of experience you can have.”

And there’s like this sort of bittersweet experience of it’s lonely. But I also know that part of my purpose is to be in service to others, my children in particular. But yeah, it’s not a particularly. Like, I feel alone. Yeah, a lot.

Middle School Struggles and Eating Disorder

But to answer your question about high school and middle school, I wasn’t cool. I had an eating disorder in middle school, a really bad one. I had to be hospitalized twice and I was left in there. Like my mom will say she took me out for Christmas. I don’t think that’s accurate. I think I was in there for Christmas, but I was in there for a few months at a time. Every time they would put me in, essentially I was 5150’d because my eating disorder was so bad.

I had braces. I plucked out all of my eyebrows. And when you do that, when you pluck your eyebrows by the way for anyone that’s ever going to do this. If you do that when you’re sick or your immune system is down, those hairs don’t grow back. So plucked my eyebrows out. Most of them never grew back.

ALEX COOPER: Why did you pluck them out?

Body Dysmorphia and Self-Harm

MEGAN FOX: It was like cutting or any kind of, I was just doing things to myself to, like, not disfigure myself. But it was a compulsive action that I didn’t understand at the time. And then in high school, like, if you saw my high school yearbook picture, at that point, I was cute again. I had figured it out somehow, but equally as lonely and isolated. And I had a friend, but I’ve never had a friend group.

ALEX COOPER: How did boys treat you in high school?

MEGAN FOX: I had a high school boyfriend. I don’t know. At that point, I had started some modeling in Miami and doing auditioning for acting things. I think during high school, I did that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie. I’m not exactly sure. I think I was like 16, 17.

The kids in school, I didn’t get a real reaction from the boys in school, but as I went out into the world doing that stuff, I started getting reactions, but also from much older men, which was weird because they were not my peer group, obviously. And that sent a whole other set of confusing messages.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. I’m curious before we do get into that, like, when people probably think of Megan Fox in high school, they’re like, I would have killed to look like you. Did you have insecurities?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, I’ve had body dysmorphia since I was probably like five. I can remember sitting in the back of my sister’s car. She was getting married. And I even remember what I was wearing. I had black shorts that had white polka dots on them. And I was five. And this is crazy when I look at my children, because now I understand what it is to be five years old.

And I was in the backseat looking at my legs, being like, “I have such fat thighs. My thighs are so fat.” I was five. But I also had, I think I was blonde in a past life.

ALEX COOPER: And.

MEGAN FOX: I mean, I’ve had many past lives. Whenever I would look in the mirror as a child, I was like, “That’s not me.” That never felt like me. Nothing about that face, the hair, the skin color, the body. That wasn’t me. I never associated that with me.

And so I think that’s because I have a strong tie to some of my other lifetimes. And it was always hard for me to accept that this is who I am in this lifetime. And that goes back to when my parents were still married. So I was like 2 or 3.

My mom said that I used to go into the bathroom and stand on the toilet and pull up my shirt to see if my boobies had grown and I would get really upset that I didn’t have big boobs. And now, $30,000 later, I do. Stopped that problem.

ALEX COOPER: Honestly, girl, get it. Yeah, because I was going to ask you, like, I know you’ve been open about body dysmorphia and I know that it doesn’t just go away. And like, where do you think that control of, because that’s essentially a control thing of like you’re trying to control how you look. What do you think now you look back, you were trying to achieve?

MEGAN FOX: I think ultimately at the time that I was going through it, it was loss of control because of the dynamic between myself and my stepfather and having no autonomy whatsoever and not being able to have friends or to leave the house or to even do things freely inside the house.

But prior to that it was just a feeling of being defective or being unwanted. And for whatever reason, I’m not sure why it manifested specifically as that and not as addiction issues, which I’ve never had, but it manifested as body dysmorphia and self-esteem instead.

Marriage and Relationships

ALEX COOPER: Your ex-husband made headlines recently when he said that you never got to experience being a single young woman because you guys met when you were only 18 and he was 31 at the time. Do you agree with him? Like, do you feel like you missed out on anything because of that relationship?

MEGAN FOX: I feel like, first of all, let me just say I was not a great girlfriend to Brian. I’ll be very honest. And he was not great to me either all the time. But I think it would be easy for me to lean into and complain about or let it seem like that relationship was one way that maybe I was not great because I was young and really should not have been in a relationship of that level of commitment and that magnitude.

I shouldn’t have been involved in that when I was 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. I shouldn’t have been. So I did a lot of falling in love with other people all the time. I would go to work and fall in love because I was a kid.

And yeah, I never had the full freedom to be single and experience that life. And I thought for a minute when I got divorced that that’s what I was going to do. And I was single for like three weeks.

ALEX COOPER: Then you just met that guy.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. I thought I was really going to go full Leo DiCaprio for a while.

ALEX COOPER: That would have been really fun to watch.

MEGAN FOX: Everyone says that to me. Everyone agrees.

ALEX COOPER: I now need to know because you referenced in the beginning of this interview, like, it literally makes your skin crawl when you think about marriage. But you did get married. Like, how did you decide to do that?

MEGAN FOX: I think because then I was so unaware of my feelings because I was so much younger. And this is before I had my kids. And most of my growth and awareness came after childbirth. So prior to that, I was very, I just wasn’t aware that, “Oh, marriage makes me feel any particular way.”

That was something I did kind of impulsively also. It was like an adventure to go on and to do. And I’d already been with him for so many years at that point. And I do feel like, karmically, I was supposed to have those kids with him, of course.

So I didn’t realize, you know, I wasn’t looking at myself being like, “Oh, I’m reenacting my mother’s life,” or “I’m carrying my mother’s burdens,” or “I’m carrying the things that she projected onto me.” I was not able to recognize any of that. I was just in the moment and had not had therapy or anything like that. And I had not started reading and educating myself.

So I was just acting and doing. And I got myself into a relationship, which, of course, no shade to Brian, I found unfulfilling. Because inevitably, that’s what I was going to do, because I was reenacting what I watched my mother do as a child.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah. I think that’s something that’s fascinating when you get into therapy. You’re like, “Oh, f. I’m just, I literally said I didn’t want to be like my mother, and I’m turning into my mother.” And it’s on us, obviously, to take some accountability of our lives, to be like, pause. How do I try to change this? But it’s really fing hard to not do what we saw growing up.

When I think about you and since the rise of your career, I feel like your name in the public eye has been synonymous with the phrase “sex symbol.”

MEGAN FOX: Right.

ALEX COOPER: How does that make you feel?

Being a Sex Symbol

MEGAN FOX: I’ve never been particularly attached to that, to be honest. I’m not like, I don’t have an emotional reaction to that. I don’t believe. But let me sit here and analyze it while you’re asking me.

I think it adds pressure to a girl who, like I said, has body dysmorphia and didn’t really ever see herself that way. And the things that I thought were my strengths, like my mind, my intelligence, or my sense of humor, which is granted very niche sometimes, but those things are not acknowledged.

And instead, I’m being acknowledged for something that I don’t identify with or as. And so that’s almost like this artifice. It’s like forcing me to wear a character that I don’t actually, I wasn’t trying to wear. And then also, you assign the character to me, and then you torture and demonize the character.

And I was never that. I was never her. You created her, then you murdered her. And I love that I started this out by being like, “I don’t have an emotional attachment to this.”

ALEX COOPER: Like, you f*ing killed me, bitch.

MEGAN FOX: But I think to just being called a sex symbol, I don’t initially have a reaction.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

MEGAN FOX: But to the whole process of what really happened. And it goes into just being famous in general. The process of fame has been really haunting, to be honest, because like I said, the media and people built up this character and then decided to destroy her.

Because I don’t know why there’s a need to worship and destroy, worship and then destroy. And I was always a sensitive kid, but I had to wear armor to survive my childhood, and I had to wear armor to survive being famous.

And so there’s this energy of me, of that, you know, that I don’t give any fs. And to some degree, that’s true in terms of I would never change anything about myself in order to get someone to like me. So in that way, I don’t give any fs.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t get my feelings hurt. And that when I’m being bullied or dragged, that that doesn’t cause me to be mentally unwell sometimes, because it absolutely does. And did.

And in 2009, crossing into 2010, I had been famous not even that long, only a couple of years. But the fame was so heightened. It was so intense that all the energy started peaking. And I was going through this process of, I was getting crucified in the press every day and on whatever the blogs were at that time.

There was no social media, but Perez Hilton and, was it Nicki Swift? There was some other blog. So mean, Daily Mail, whatever.

Media Bullying

ALEX COOPER: Do you remember what they would say about you?

MEGAN FOX: The same exact things they say right now. You could swap the articles from this year with 2009, 2010. It’s the exact same thing, obviously, being a slut, being a whore. Now I have kids for people to project on and be like, “But are you a shitty mom?” I didn’t have that at the time, but it was just like, “You’re a shitty person for whatever reason.” Plastic surgery.

ALEX COOPER: Fake.

MEGAN FOX: Talentless. There’s so many headlines. I used to get chased by paparazzi who would be like, “Megan, everybody’s saying that you’re overrated. Do you think that you’re overrated? Megan, everybody’s saying that you shouldn’t have got your nose done. Nobody likes your new nose. Are you embarrassed that you got your nose done? Are you sad? Do you regret getting your nose done? Megan, why are you such a bitch? Why does nobody like you?”

Grown men, right? Chasing you with, back then, this was like TMZ cameras. They don’t talk to you like that anymore, but back then they did. So you’re in life getting bullied by actual grown adult men with cameras everywhere you go.

Then there’s the online presence of just getting torn to shreds for everything that you do, everything that you wear, how you look, every single flaw, every pimple, every scar, every five pounds you gain, five pounds you lose. You can’t win.

And that energy was peaking, and it was every day. And during 2009, they had a blackout, a Megan Fox blackout, where the media all agreed to not post any content about me for a whole day. Which, by the way, I was like, “I hope you do this every day.”

ALEX COOPER: Thank you.

The Price of Fame

MEGAN FOX: But the attitude was that, oh, that I was a fame whore or an attention whore, which is the opposite of the truth. I’m extremely introverted and horrified by having to be in front of people or cameras. But it got so, so bad at that point. I was just like, hey, I can’t survive the criticism and the bullying anymore. Like, I actually can’t live.

Every time I step out of my house, someone has something to say about how I look or it’s going to be. It started to become a witch hunt where I felt like tabloids would send photographers with the intention of getting a bad photograph or getting a bad story.

This was around the time, it may have been a little before, but it was in the years of when Britney shaved her head. And so the media at that time, they were on witch hunts, and they would set out to try and find something negative, the ugliest picture they could get, to splash it everywhere, because that’s what people want to. That gets the most engagement. Obviously, even back then, before socials existed.

And that’s when I sort of stepped away for a long time, and I was like, I’m good to just not be involved in this anymore, because I actually can’t sustain this amount of damage. It’s not normal. And I also feel like it was kind of just me at that time, whereas now all of us get it. There’s so many other girls that are getting it constantly. But back then, it really was kind of just me. There wasn’t another actress that was getting it the same way I was getting it.

ALEX COOPER: Like, as I’m listening to you, it’s, first of all, it’s f*ing exhausting. Like, I cannot imagine. And what you’re sharing with me in the beginning of this being, like, at such a young age, I looked in the mirror and I was like, I literally cannot connect with my physical appearance. And it’s so hard for me to look at myself and be like, is that me in the mirror? I don’t feel that way.

To know the eating disorders and the body dysmorphia, like, what you were going through, how exacerbated it then became because you became famous. If you had to say, and I know there’s, like, no answer, but, like, why do you think people are so obsessively trying to pick at you and pull you down?

The Modern Witch Hunt

MEGAN FOX: I don’t know. I think, like, if I were to try and speak about it from a spiritual angle, that’s, I’m the architect of this experience. And so I’m drawing this to me because my soul needs to learn and deal with these feelings and be able to transcend this.

I believe in a past life, I actually was burned at the stake for being a witch. So I think that’s an energy that I’ve had, like, through lifetimes, and it’s carried into this lifetime as well, because that is essentially what is happening today.

Every day, people don’t realize it, but they all wake up and they’re just a reincarnated medieval mob, and they have their pitchfork and their lantern, and they’re like, who do we get to burn at the stake today? Who do we get to cancel today? Who do we get to destroy today? And that’s the first thing they do. They go on Twitter and they’re like, what’s trending? I want to join in on this.

And that’s also something that should be studied is like, why do people want to join in on something which is essentially psychological violence? Why do you want to join in on that? Because I think most people, if you were walking on the street and you saw me or you saw Kim or Kylie or any of these other girls, and we were being beaten by a mob of people, your instinct is not going to be to join the mob and to beat us. It would probably be to either help or to go get help.

However, when you watch that same thing happen online and it’s the psychological violence, the instinct is to join. And that’s a very weird, that’s a very weird instinct that people have that they should ask themselves, like, why do I want to be a part of tormenting, torturing, mocking, making fun of or bullying when we do understand the ramifications and the danger of doing this?

The Impossible Standard

ALEX COOPER: It’s such a good way to look at it, and it’s f*ing terrifying. And I think, I think that as I’m sitting here listening to you, like, I also just have to, like, acknowledge, like, you are conventionally like a beautiful woman. Like, you have been called in certain years, like the most beautiful woman in the world.

And I think people cannot accept that you could have it all. You can’t be this beautiful and be smart. You can’t be that beautiful and be a good person. And I think it brings so many insecurities out in people when they look at you.

I think for women, like, I remember I just saw a TikTok of this woman who was like, “I just lost 100 pounds. And my life is so different because I used to walk in rooms and women would befriend me and men treated me like shit. And now it’s the opposite. I walk in a room and every fing woman looks at me like a threat. And every man is opening the door for me, treating me like a queen. And I’m like, whoa, I just lived two different fing experiences in a year. And I’m like, which one would I choose?”

But I think you threaten women because you’re confident and beautiful and educated and smart. And we’re all like, f you. You can’t be like that. But to men, I mean, I was going to read this to you. I was like, what the f is wrong with the world?

I read an old article, okay, and they described you as “a screensaver on a teenage boy’s laptop, a middle aged lawyer’s shower fantasy and a sexual prop used to sell movies.” Like the objectification of you, Megan Fox, is so much larger than you. It is like the embodiment of misogyny and what’s wrong with our f*ing society.

And it’s terrifying even hearing it come from your own voice of like, I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t, I’m not out there selling my body and my soul to this. Like, I’m just trying to do my job. And somehow people are like, take her the f* down.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. I also, it was always confusing to me because I never really did anything bad. I was never, like, associated with drugs or alcohol. I was never around, until recently, anyone who’s been associated with drugs or alcohol. I was never caught at clubs. I was never arrested. I was never, I never did anything outside of having, like a kind of Andy Kaufman-esque sense of humor, which people don’t understand. That is my greatest crime.

And so it was very hard to understand in the beginning. And I’ll be honest with you, it’s hard to keep enduring it because I did step away for a decade and I did all this work on myself spiritually and thought that I was transcending and growing and becoming a better person.

And so when I got divorced and I started dating Colson, inevitably I was sort of thrust back into the light, the synthetic light, not the real light. And I thought that either it would be different, I would be attracting a different experience to myself this time because my level of consciousness was so much higher or my ability to deal with it would be so much better at this point because I was a different person.

And I have not found that to be the case at all. Like, I’ve been doing it, it’s going on the fourth year now, and it is wearing me down. I’ll be honest. Like, it’s very hard, I think, because I don’t have a family support system or like a large group of, I don’t feel that I belong because I am, I do feel so alone.

Like you said, when you have to deal with something and you don’t have siblings or you feel like you’re by yourself, you internalize. And then it can become very grim very quickly. And I do, I am kind of getting to the end of my rope with that. I’ll be honest. Like, I’m, I’m, I’m struggling with it again.

It feels like I was in a wormhole. Like, I left 2009 and I’m like, right back in where I left off and there was no growth, which makes me feel defeated. And I just, I really, I can’t believe how negative human beings are and how cruel they need to be to everyone. This is not just me, but that also weighs on me because I have kids, and I have one kid who’s, like, an artistic savant, and that kid will inevitably be in the spotlight somehow. It’s impossible that they won’t.

And I know how cruel the world is because I’ve lived through it, and I don’t think I can endure watching what my child is going to have to go through. So I’m really struggling with that as well, of, like, not wanting my kids to have to be exposed.

The Vicious Cycle

ALEX COOPER: I was going to say, it’s also just, like, this vicious cycle, like you said. Like, everyone build someone up. We’ve seen it with so many stars online, and then the minute you’re at the top, they break you down. And I already know, it’s like, if you disappear again and you go away, “Oh, my God, we missed Megan.”

MEGAN FOX: It happened to me twice. When I went away, there was like, this surge of, like, I hate this phrase, but it applies. I would not normally say this. There was that peak in energy where I was getting crucified every day. I went away. I disappeared. I was like, fine, f* it. You win.

The world had, like, their post clarity. And they were like, “Wait, but why do we, why did we kill her? Why did we murder her? She never did anything. What did she do? She was actually, like, she was actually a positive. She stood for a lot of really good things. Like, we should have given her her flowers. Why do we do that? F*.”

And then I step back, I’m like, was someone knocking? Were you guys calling me? I’m here. I’m here to receive my flowers. And it was immediate. Just murder done immediately.

And so that experiencing that cycle, like you said, if I were to disappear again right now, like I did in 2009, which, believe me, I am very tempted to do because I am, well at this moment. The same thing would happen where people would be like, “Oh, but she brought, you know, she had this messaging. She was such a smart girl. She was a grounded girl. She was encouraging. She was supportive of other women. She was this. She was that. She was.”

I promise you, 40 years after I’m dead, it’s going to be like, with, not to compare myself to Marilyn, but the way she died. And then everyone’s like, “Well, you know, she was a genius. You know, she had 142 IQ.” That’s going to happen to me too. Years from now, I’ll be dead, and then somebody will have something nice to say about me, but living, it’s not going to happen.

ALEX COOPER: It’s even like making me think as you’re just talking and I’m staring at you like, you are so bright and you have so much to offer. And it makes me sad because I know so many people will listen to this and be like, “Wait, she’s actually like, really f*ing dope.”

But it shouldn’t take you sitting for an hour and talking. You’re a kind person. You’ve never done anything to anyone, so you shouldn’t have to prove yourself. But it’s like, frustrating that there’s this pull and push on the Internet and you just can’t f*ing win. And I’m sorry you have to deal with that.

I’m curious, like, how did and how has this like extreme focus on your look and body impacted your relationship to sexuality?

Taking Control

MEGAN FOX: That’s a good question. I have Virgo on my eighth house.

ALEX COOPER: So Megan, you got to like, talk to the girlies that are like, bitch, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

MEGAN FOX: I know, I know. I’m trying. I think Google it. Yeah, you got to, you got to deeply Google to understand what I’m talking about there. But I, it does affect, obviously anything that’s going on with your self esteem affects your relationship to sexuality.

But I will say I feel like as I took more control of my body, actually, because when I was younger, it was like really scandalous to get anything done, so, my boobs have been fake, by the way, since I was 21 or 22. I got them done in between the first and second Transformers, but I had them done conservatively. I’ve done this way too many times during this interview. I hate it. You got to like.

ALEX COOPER: No, you haven’t.

MEGAN FOX: You got to AI those out. I can’t keep doing that.

ALEX COOPER: I’ll just bump it in your face when you do it.

MEGAN FOX: Okay, where was I? Okay, so I had them, I had, they were very conservative because back then you had, you, everyone did the work. You had to do work that was undetectable. Obviously, people have been doing work since Hollywood began. That’s what the studios would bring you in and do a screen test and be like, “Okay, John Wayne needs a chin implant. Marilyn, she needs a nose. She needs this, she needs that.” That’s the oldest story ever told.

But back at that time when I was doing it, it had to be unnoticeable. But I always, that little girl that was in the mirror, like, where are my boobies? I always wanted big boobies. And so I wanted, I wasn’t happy with the first set. The same thing was like, we might, can we just talk about plastic surgery? Yeah, let’s talk.

Plastic Surgery: Setting the Record Straight

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

MEGAN FOX: Can we just talk about plastic surgery? Let’s talk.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

MEGAN FOX: Okay. So I’m just going to go through all the things that I’ve done, love, because I feel like there’s this stigma, and I’m not going to win. I’m going to do this. I’m not going to win.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

MEGAN FOX: However, I’m hoping it sets some people free.

ALEX COOPER: Let’s go.

MEGAN FOX: Because I feel like people are like, well, we… If you were to ask women, they would be like, “Well, we say these things. We bully you.” Some of my favorite comments are from women, and I don’t often read them, but sometimes I’m in the mood, and I’m like, I want to interact with a troll. And it takes one second for them to start pouring into my Instagram feed or my comments.

And they’re often from women where I’ll be like, holy shit. That is a particularly cruel thing to say. Who is this person? And I’ll click on it, and she’ll be like, women’s life coach. Crystal healing, Loving God, Tantric lessons. Divine feminine. And she’s under my comments being like, you know, crucifying me for being plastic or whatever.

So there’s… but if you were to ask her, she would be like, “Well, that’s because she perpetuates an unhealthy standard of beauty.” Right. But… And so here I am. I’m going to be fully transparent. I still won’t win because there are some girls who have been… who have been transparent. I don’t want to bring people in, but someone like a Kylie has been very transparent. That is not helping her.

People are… Women are still brutally dragging her just the same and totally undeserved. She’s a beautiful, healthy, young, gorgeous girl. And I actually feel, for whatever reason, very protective. When I watch other girls go through this. I want to defend them or go to war for them. But… Okay, I’ll go through here’s things I haven’t done that I have been accused of doing. Okay. And then I’ll confirm the things I have done.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

What She Hasn’t Done

MEGAN FOX: I’ve never had a facelift of any kind. So no mid facelift. No lateral brow lift, although I would like one. Or no regular brow lift. I’ve never done threads. I have researched them. That’s not because of some moral thing. I just don’t really believe they work. And I’m also afraid that they would interfere when I do need to have a facelift.

But I am very tempted to go have my eyebrows snatched, like all the way. I want… I want that look sometimes that seems fun and you can do it on a lunch break. And I see why it’s so tempting. And I… I have researched it, have not done it yet. Okay. I’ve never had this done. What is this?

ALEX COOPER: Oh, buccal fat. Buccal fat.

MEGAN FOX: Buccal fat.

ALEX COOPER: Buccal fat.

MEGAN FOX: I’ve never had that done. I’ll never have any fat removed. I’m a very lean person that doesn’t have enough body fat or fat in my face. So I will only ever put fat in. I will never be taking fat out. Which leads me to… I’ve never had any liposuction or body contouring or anything like that.

I’ve never had… What are other things you can have? Butt implants. I mean, I’d be so flattered if somebody thought I had a BBL. If I could, I would. I don’t have… I don’t have the extra body fat. I would get it done if I could.

ALEX COOPER: Dump truck. And that.

MEGAN FOX: That surgery is such a hard one to recover from. It’s so insane. It’s basically like three months you have to lay flat on your face.

ALEX COOPER: I could never be.

MEGAN FOX: You’re bruised for an eternity. If I were to ever do that, I would come out with… I would be like, if I’m going to survive that surgery, you’re going to give me an ass. It’s like an anomaly. Like, I’m going to walk through a park and I’m going to turn around and everyone is going to be whispering and laughing and talking because they’re like, what? What are we looking at? Like, circus freak. That if I’m going through that healing…

ALEX COOPER: Process, you’re going to do it.

MEGAN FOX: I want that. I’m not coming out with, like, “Oh, did she been… Has she been really hitting the gym lately? Extra squats.” No, I want it to be massive. Yeah, it’s got to be. It’s got to stop people in their tracks.

ALEX COOPER: Okay?

MEGAN FOX: But I don’t have the body fat to do that, so that’s never going to happen. But at the time when… when in the future, you can take donated fat from people, I will be doing that, and you will be seeing this situation.

ALEX COOPER: This situation go down in the park. Okay?

What She Has Had Done

MEGAN FOX: What I have had done. Like I said, I had my boobs done when I was 21 or 22. I had them redone after I was done breastfeeding my kids because I don’t know where they went, but they went. And then I had to have them redone very recently because the first set, I didn’t have enough body fat to disguise. You could see the rippling of the implant, so I had to switch them out to this set.

I don’t like surgery. My body does not react well to general anesthesia. And so when I go to have a surgery, it’s a very big deal. And I have my… All my doctors have to meet with me before and have to tell me if they’ve seen any omens, if they saw any owls, crows, if anyone stepped on a spider, if any… if there are any dead insects.

Like, my doctors have to go through this with me because I’m very afraid of dying under general anesthesia. So I don’t take surgery lightly, and therefore I have not had many of them because of that. So that’s probably a saving grace that I have this paranoia or this fear, because God knows what I would have been up to.

ALEX COOPER: Do your doctors think you’re insane?

MEGAN FOX: They’re like, oh, no, they love me. No, they love me.

ALEX COOPER: Yes, I saw an owl, Megan, let’s reschedule.

MEGAN FOX: And by the way, I’m like, I’ll still pay for the surgery. Just do not. Also make sure the music playlist. No music comes up that reminds you of your ex girlfriend or an ex wife or anything that’s going to make you upset because you are the surgeon. You need to be in a good headspace. If you have a fight with your wife, do not come in for surgery. I go through all of these protocols.

ALEX COOPER: You should make us all, like, a list of a little pre op.

MEGAN FOX: You don’t want to. Any surgery is a risk to your life. I don’t care what anyone says. That’s the truth. Going under general anesthesia is a risk to your life. So when I had to go in for this set, I was like, look, if you’re going to put me to sleep, if I’m going to be sick for two months from the general anesthesia, if I’m going to feel, if I’m going to go through because I’m not fully ever asleep.

So my soul is fighting on the surgical table to wake up. It’s a very traumatizing experience for me. I was like, I better wake up with the biggest boobs you can fit in my body. And that is what he said he did. And they’re not even that big. They’re a 32D, which is not that big. They just look big on my body because my body’s tiny.

ALEX COOPER: Right, Right.

MEGAN FOX: But it’s like, if he could have gone bigger, I would have had him go bigger. Because I don’t like surgery. And the fact that I had to do it, I was like, I want a reward for the suffering I have to go through. I don’t want to wake up with a full B cup. There’s no f*ing point in that. I’m not doing it.

ALEX COOPER: You want titties?

MEGAN FOX: I wanted titties. I said I want… I don’t care what’s on trend. Give me 1990s stripper Katie. That’s what I want. And he did it.

ALEX COOPER: Girl, you look amazing.

The Nose Contour Revelation

MEGAN FOX: Thank you. And then I had my nose done when I was in my early 20s, and that’s something. I’ve literally been accused of having, like, six, seven, eight rhinoplasty surgeries, which is impossible. Your nose would get necrosis and fall off. I haven’t had a rhinoplasty since I was, I’m going to say, 23. It’s been well over a decade. I haven’t… I have not touched my nose since then. We didn’t contour my nose. We didn’t contour my nose. No, we didn’t.

ALEX COOPER: Your nose looked tiny. Shut the f* up.

MEGAN FOX: We didn’t contour.

ALEX COOPER: Jenna, you’re fire.

MEGAN FOX: Should we contour? Should we show everyone how I contour my nose? Wait.

ALEX COOPER: Shut the f* up. Your nose looks…

MEGAN FOX: No, no, I can make it tiny, like a little elven princess. I make it so small within… within one inch of its life. I contour. And so I think… People think I keep constantly working on it. It’s just the contour. I can’t believe… I can’t believe I’m doing an interview without nose contour on. I’m traumatized. You don’t understand what a big deal this is. This is like me not having done my eyebrows. Very scary for me.

ALEX COOPER: I’m traumatized that you think that your nose won’t look good right now. Because I’m like, the f* does my nose look like?

MEGAN FOX: I like… I like to contour it down until it’s just nostrils. Like Voldemort.

ALEX COOPER: No nose. Just.

MEGAN FOX: Just two holes here.

ALEX COOPER: Wait. After this, can you see how you contour your nose? And I’ll do it next to you?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, but I’m… I’m freaking out that I’m not… I don’t have it on.

ALEX COOPER: You look so gorgeous. You’re going to keep going. This is good for you. This is good for you. She’s got to keep going. Okay, so you had your nose done, you’ve had your tits done, and what, Botox and filler?

MEGAN FOX: That’s… Yeah, that’s it, right? Oh, there’s one thing I had done that I’m gatekeeping because… Sorry, what? It was… It was really good. And it’s not a known plastic surgery. People don’t even really know about it. Will you tell me off camera? Yeah. You don’t need it. I don’t think really, you’re not going to want it. I wanted it very badly and I needed to do it. And it’s something that…

ALEX COOPER: Can you give us a hint?

MEGAN FOX: No.

ALEX COOPER: No. Okay. So that’s it?

Taking Control of Her Body

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. It’s actually not that much in terms of surgery. It’s not that much when it comes to lasers and stuff like that. I’ve done everything you could possibly think of doing, and I always will. I don’t understand the point of shaming people for getting stuff done.

Granted, I’m not encouraging anyone to do anything crazy. And like I said, you need to be very safe and very careful when you do any of this stuff. Even fillers. Like, people that get fillers in their nose, you can get necrosis from that. Like, none of this shit is really safe. It all comes with a risk. So I’m not encouraging people to just go out blindly and do things you should do your research.

However, it’s a very weird thing to shame somebody for. And coming back to your question about sex, the more that I’ve taken control of my body and done the things that I’ve always wanted to do, the more comfortable I am in my body and the more freedom I have sexually, and the more embodied I feel sexually and am more playful and confident in that way, versus when I was wearing a body that didn’t feel like my body because I always wanted it to be different.

Plastic Surgery and Social Media Judgment

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that, though, because I think you’re right. It’s like, to the women that are shaming women for getting work done, if you are so triggered, that probably means you have an insecurity. Maybe you’ve thought of getting fillers or Botox or something, but maybe you’re too scared, so then you shame women that have done it. It’s like, why? And if you don’t want it, why do you care if another woman gets it?

It’s all projection. When someone is so angry looking at you, it is based in some form of jealousy. Like, we have to just call it what it is.

MEGAN FOX: But also, where does the logic end of, like, why won’t you take it to shaming people for coloring their hair?

ALEX COOPER: So true.

MEGAN FOX: You know what I’m saying? Or wearing gel nails? Or where does that logic stop? What’s natural enough for you? And then what’s fake and what’s the barometer? And, like, why do we all have to follow some kind of a standard? It doesn’t make any sense.

Pretty Boys Are Poisonous

ALEX COOPER: Like, can we talk about your book for a second?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: So you released your book “Pretty Boys Are Poisonous,” and you basically write about the fact that you have your entire life kept the secrets of men, which, again, if anyone asks, like, why? It’s like, we kind of talked about that today. It’s like, well, what the f* are you going to… If you say it, no one believes you or they shame you or they call you a whore.

Like, there’s certain reasons why women don’t come forward and say these things. And you wrote a lot in this book. One of the things, one of the common themes I wrote down was, like, throughout the book, you talk about minimizing yourself in order to make a man or men feel comfortable and confident and important. When was the first time you remembered doing that in a relationship? Like, bringing yourself down?

MEGAN FOX: So tricky because my relationships are public, so it’s hard to say, but I would say very early on, like, when I first started going to award shows and things like that, feeling judged for, like, my naive excitement over, like, first experiencing some kind of success or, like, being at, like, oh, my God, I’m at the MTV Awards. Like, whoa, this is so cool.

And not being met with what felt to be criticism or judgment. And then me shrinking and receiving the message that it was embarrassing to, like, these things or to be happy to be a part of these things, and that I needed to quell that and reject it maybe.

ALEX COOPER: Have you ever had someone that, like, had a very strong opinion to be, like, you’re not allowed to wear that, or don’t be, like, as outgoing at events? Like, how controlling have you experienced relationships become?

MEGAN FOX: I haven’t had somebody control clothing and things like that, but definitely, yeah, definitely. Just down to, like, maintaining too much eye contact with someone else or having, being too curious during a conversation or to the point where it’s like, well, I just won’t talk to anyone. I just won’t look at anyone. I won’t shake anyone’s hand. Like, I’ll just sit.

And that’s one of the poems you’re referring to, is I think it was “The Art of Becoming an Accessory” and feeling like an accessory where I’m there, but why am I there and what am I doing? I don’t have, like, I don’t have a presence here because I’m not allowed to be.

Toxicity and Trauma Bonds

ALEX COOPER: Another theme is toxicity in the book. I wanted to read you this particular line: “I prefer the agonizing psychological abuse of this trauma bond to the prosaic tedium of a regular life.” Why do you think you gravitate towards toxicity over stability?

MEGAN FOX: Because stability sounds boring, Megan. It does. That’s the truth. It sounds like it’s not romantic. It doesn’t sound like it’s passionate. The literal definition of passion is to suffer, and it doesn’t. It just sounds… I would rather be in something. This is not to encourage others to do this, but my personal psychosis and issue is that I would prefer to be in something dramatic and toxic versus something stable.

Keep in mind, I’ve never experienced, like, truly stable. So if I were to honestly experience it, I would probably have a lot of peace and would accept it, but I’ve never had it. So to me, the idea of it sounds very boring.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

ALEX COOPER: I want to read part of this heartbreaking poem that you wrote because it’s f*ing heartbreaking. You say, “There was a time where I had never heard a man call me stupid, pathetic, bitch, cunt, slut, idiot. And there was also a time when I had never felt a man’s hands hit me, suffocate me, or throw me to the ground. But now, if one of those things hasn’t happened by Wednesday, I consider it a miracle.” When I read that to you, how does it make you feel?

MEGAN FOX: I dissociate from the physical violence a lot. Even when I talk to my therapist, I have yet to be able to have, like, a strong emotional reaction to that because I compartmentalize that. And that sort of just jumped over my logical brain, and went right into my body. So I need to probably do a lot of, like, somatic therapy to work on that.

But I am not able to feel emotional when I write about it or when I talk about it. It’s basically like describing a movie. The gaslighting and the name calling and the mental emotional abuse, I do get very emotional about that. I am very, like, present with that.

But how do I feel about it? I don’t know. Well, part of me feels, like, exposed because I wrote this book with things like that in it. And so to hear someone else read it, I’m like, okay, I wrote that for everyone to read for all of eternity. They can revisit that book. And I did it. But I did it for a reason.

ALEX COOPER: Why did you do it?

MEGAN FOX: One for myself, I think, because obviously it was therapeutic to get it out and to get it out in a way that’s different than to just talk to a therapist and, like, the words float away into nothingness. To put it into a book, I know that it’ll find, even if it’s only one person, it’ll find someone that needs to read it, and they will experience some kind of healing or some kind of inspiration from it.

And therefore, that gave my pain a purpose versus me just trying to heal privately. It also just felt like a demon that I needed to have exercised from my body. Like, I needed to get it out in this way.

ALEX COOPER: Do you remember the first time that a man hit you?

MEGAN FOX: Yes. I can’t, I don’t know that I can tell the story. I have to be so careful.

ALEX COOPER: Of course. Of course. I guess I could just ask, like, once something happens more than once…

MEGAN FOX: Mm.

ALEX COOPER: There’s a way that you can almost, I don’t want to say, like, normalize it, but you have…

MEGAN FOX: Do you acclimate to it? Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: When it happened the first time, do you remember your reaction and, like, how you handled it and moved?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, I fawned. That was my initial reaction. The freeze, fight, flight, fawn. Fawning is like, it’s a combination of freezing and then also attempting to soothe the other person. So that was my initial reaction, and it was very, it was definitely shocking.

But like I said, I almost immediately compartmentalized it and went into the, like, took on, went into nurturing the other person to, like, calm the situation. And I don’t know. I just, I just took it on as my own burden right away instead of feeling the trauma.

ALEX COOPER: I think that’s, like, really relatable, and that’s how f*ed up it is to be a woman. Like, we’re trained to, like, make men feel… It’s okay, like, make them feel comfortable also, because I think it’s a survival mechanism because, yeah, if you can de-escalate a situation with a man, you don’t know how much farther that was going to go.

So our brain goes to… It’s like, I was talking to my therapist about this the other day. She was like, I call it, like, the blowjob effect. It’s like when you’re about to get sexually abused or something’s about to happen, it’s like, you can rationalize, like, okay, if I just give him a blowjob, that will stop me from having to have sex with him, and then people will shame you of, like, you gave him a… Oh, so then, but so you did do… It’s like, you don’t know what’s going to happen. They could have a gun. They could try to f*ing kill you.

MEGAN FOX: We…

ALEX COOPER: We know what men are capable of. And so there’s moments where it’s just survival again. I think it’s such a privileged standpoint when people would be like, what do you mean?

MEGAN FOX: You soothed him.

ALEX COOPER: I know exactly what you mean. You immediately go into survival mode of, how do I completely de-escalate the situation? The poem you wrote called “Rape.” Did anyone in your life know that you had survived that type of sexual abuse before you wrote this poem?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, not my parents or, like, my family, but people that I’ve been with, like, have known. Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Did your family reach out to you once the book came out?

MEGAN FOX: No.

ALEX COOPER: Interesting. Did that shock you?

MEGAN FOX: No. I’m so sorry. That’s okay. I mean, that’s…

ALEX COOPER: But that’s telling of the relationship.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. That perfectly reflects as I would anticipate it too. Yeah.

The MGK Relationship

ALEX COOPER: We’re going to move on to your relationship a little bit. Okay.

MEGAN FOX: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: Mr. MGK. Obviously this book has a lot of heavy topics and I know you clarified on multiple interviews you did. Like I’m not just writing about one person, I’m talking about my life experience. But how did that book just like impact your relationship in the moment? Did it open wounds? Did you have to have a lot of conversations? Like I can imagine it was tough.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. And because some of the poems are about him and they’re obviously about him. Like yeah, “A 32 Year Old Narcissist Attempts to Quantify His Crimes” is about him and he knows it’s about him. And there are other ones like “Ghost of Christmas Future” obviously about him, but I also didn’t really write anything about him that he hasn’t said about himself in his own music.

However, that doesn’t make it any less sensitive for him to experience me writing about it because obviously he feels in control when he’s telling his own story or even like maybe he’s able to hide behind the music a little bit even though he’s saying all the same things. It felt different in this format.

So obviously he would have to be asked for his experience. But it was not easy and I think he was like really nervous and worried because there’s a lot of explosive content in the book obviously. And there was some fear there. And also, I mean some of them are about him and are savage.

ALEX COOPER: They are, Megan. They definitely are.

MEGAN FOX: They’re…

ALEX COOPER: Go read the book. Everyone. I feel like everyone has such like an opinion on your guys’ relationships. You know, you got engaged, then I think it was called off, then we don’t know what’s going on with you. Like how would you describe your relationship with MGK?

Navigating Public Relationships and Personal Boundaries

MEGAN FOX: I think that what I’ve learned from being in this relationship is that it’s not for public consumption. So I think as of now I don’t have a comment on the status of the relationship per se. What I can say is that is what I refer to as being my twin soul. And there will always be a tether to him no matter what.

I can’t say for sure what the capacity will be, but I will always be connected to him somehow. Beyond that I’m not willing to explain. But all those things you said were accurate things that have occurred and I could see them being confusing or interesting to people and them being like, what’s up?

ALEX COOPER: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think the reality is reading your book, I was like, holy f*.

MEGAN FOX: This is.

ALEX COOPER: Some of this is traumatizing, this is scary, this is sad. This is really relatable. I think, and I think that’s what you just explained you wanted to do with the book is a lot of women, which is unfortunate and sad for us as women, that a lot of people can be like, uh huh, I’ve experienced that and that and that.

And I think what’s sad is so many people probably don’t know how many women have gone through that. How many women have normalized getting hit or getting verbally, physically, emotionally abused. It’s everywhere. It’s one in three women. It’s so f*ing prevalent. And I think our culture likes to just turn a blind eye and pretend it’s not happening.

So I appreciate you writing the book, but I agree, I think a lot of people are like, you okay? Are we still in this relationship? And that’s for you to decide. I don’t think, I think you’re right. It’s for no, everyone, f off. You’re going to decide what you’re going to do. And also he gets to write his fing music.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And I think you as an actor, it’s not like you get to be like, let’s change this role to be more like that. This is an expression for you that I bet was healing in a way to be like, ugh, put it out and let it go.

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. It also was written just from the one angle of my perspective. Meaning this was me being like, I’m writing this from my anger of all these men, all these experiences that I have had. It’s not an objective view of my roles in the relationship.

I failed many times inside the different relationships and was not flawless. I was not a pure victim. I did plenty of things and provoked plenty of things. Not in terms of violence, but I provoked pain or issues inside the relationship as well with my behavior. But the book was not written in a holistic way. It was written from my anger and my pain needed to speak. And that’s what the book is.

Learning Not to Care What Others Think

ALEX COOPER: Okay. I have a couple more fun questions. First of all, because we’re going to transition and help the girlies out. Okay. How have you gotten to a place in your life where you do not give a f* about what other people think in their opinions?

MEGAN FOX: I have not gotten to that place.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, wait, Megan, I thought you did. No, no, no, no. We still care.

MEGAN FOX: No, I guess as I said earlier, it is a thing of I would never change anything about myself to appease someone.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

MEGAN FOX: Publicly. I would never do that. I actually had to one time during, Brian was in a custody case with his child. And sometimes a part of those, a part of the process is everybody has to do a psych evaluation. So all four adults had to go undergo psychiatric evaluations.

And mine came back, and they took note of the fact that I was one of the only people that had never attempted to slant the test because it’s human nature to want your best self to be seen. So when people are being tested, it’s often that they will not lie, per se, but mislead or present a truth that isn’t entirely accurate out of wanting to be liked.

And I don’t have that function or that mechanism. So they took note of the fact that that was completely absent from my psych evaluation, but not in a sociopath way, but in a way where I’m just not somebody who’s going to bend unless I’m only doing what I believe in the end. That will never change.

But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt my feelings when people spew venom or negativity or hatred towards me. I’m very permeable, actually, because I’m very sensitive. And yes, I’ve been wearing that armor, but the armor is heavy.

And at a certain point in my life, I was down to get some blood on my blade and go to war if I needed to. But I’m tired now and it’s actually wearing on me a lot. In this particular moment, for whatever reason, things are coming to a head for me and I’m not in a place where I don’t give a single f*. I do get hurt. That won’t change who I am and how I am and how I speak and how I proceed with my life, but I do still feel the pain of that.

Motherhood and Protecting Her Children

ALEX COOPER: How do you as a mother handle knowing people are going to try to get at your kids through you and knowing you? Are you paranoid at all with that?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah, I lose a lot of sleep about that, especially because at least one of them is, I know, going to be in the public, probably all three of them. They’re drop dead gorgeous kids and both of their parents are actors and in this industry. So it’s likely that they’re going to have some type of public platform at a certain point. I worry about that every day.

ALEX COOPER: Do you talk to them about that yet?

MEGAN FOX: Not yet. My oldest is 11 and my kids were not allowed. They weren’t raised with screens, and they don’t have iPads or anything like that at my house or phones. I can’t keep that up forever. Eventually that will happen. I’m trying to delay it as long as possible, but when they get a little bit older, it’s still too early.

And it’s also, I don’t want to put the weight of my experience on them. I want them to have their own experience. And I don’t want to preload it by being like, this is all the suffering that mommy’s been through. This is how the world treats Mommy. You know, Mommy’s never been loved. Mommy’s always been bullied. Mommy’s always, mommy doesn’t belong. They don’t need to feel that.

So I haven’t found the right way to talk to them about that. But I will have to with certainty. And yes, I lose a lot of sleep about that. Somebody should ask Brian that question. He’s watched me cry so many times. He’s always like, are you okay? Because every school meeting I’m just weeping. I’m always crying because I know what’s coming and I’m not able to live in this moment because I know what’s ahead and I’m not prepared emotionally to have to do it. I can’t do it. It’s a lot. Yes.

Dating Advice and Meeting Machine Gun Kelly

ALEX COOPER: Okay. You’re going to give the girls.

MEGAN FOX: I thought you said they were fun.

ALEX COOPER: It’s right here. Right here, right here.

MEGAN FOX: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: You are funny, by the way.

MEGAN FOX: Thank you.

ALEX COOPER: We should do a part two where we only talk about funny shit.

MEGAN FOX: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: We just let you go. Okay. I want to get your take on a couple of scenarios. Okay. What would you say to someone who, and then it’s a girl going through it. Okay. This girl sees a hot guy at a bar but is too nervous to go up to him and make the first move. What would you say to her?

MEGAN FOX: It’s not going to be worth it anyway.

ALEX COOPER: You’re the same. That’s getting f*ing come in your mouth. Go home.

MEGAN FOX: It’s not going to be worth it. Go home.

ALEX COOPER: It’s not going to be good. Would you ever go up and approach a guy?

MEGAN FOX: I can’t be bothered. It’s not. What do they give you, really? What do you get out of it, really? I’m sorry. Have you ever gotten a magical dick? Have you ever been gotten a sacred dicking down where you’re a better human afterwards?

ALEX COOPER: Have you?

MEGAN FOX: Because if you have, please, please tell me. But in my experience, that’s not what happens. And it’s not worth the drama that they bring and they cause. It’s not worth it. Your dick needs to be in direct proportion to the drama that you cause. And if it’s not, then you need to f* the off.

ALEX COOPER: I mean, they’d be so little or they’d be huge. There would be no medium boyfriend sized dicks anymore.

MEGAN FOX: Right.

ALEX COOPER: Wait, how did you meet Colson? Did he go up to you? Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

MEGAN FOX: For the audience. I did not connect to those things. So I just want to make sure.

ALEX COOPER: Okay. That those.

MEGAN FOX: That’s not an ongoing continuation of a sentence.

ALEX COOPER: Yes, yes. But how did you meet him? Did you meet him?

MEGAN FOX: I met him on set and we were in a scene.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, right, right, the music video.

MEGAN FOX: No, no, it was before that. We were doing a movie that will forever be upset that we met on the set of that movie, but we were doing a scene and I had seen his picture before he showed up and I knew just from his picture I was like, I recognized that person. And then I looked in his eyes and I was like, oh, yeah, it’s you. I’ve known you for thousands of years.

So we were in a situation where it wasn’t really about one person coming up to the other. He’s very shy and he’ll tell you he’s very awkward as well. So he’s not somebody who picks up girls. He’s just gorgeous and a famous musician, so he gets them easily. But if he was not famous, he would be struggling because he’s not good at that. He isn’t. He’s a brilliant musician. He’s not good at picking up girls or conversations.

ALEX COOPER: Are you good at it?

MEGAN FOX: I would say that’s so subjective. But no, I don’t think I’m good at it because I don’t like to.

ALEX COOPER: I don’t.

MEGAN FOX: I see how girls flirt.

ALEX COOPER: I don’t like.

MEGAN FOX: I can’t be bothered to do that. I also ask them questions they’ve never been asked before that they don’t want to answer.

ALEX COOPER: Like why?

MEGAN FOX: Like the questions you’re asking me and shit we’re talking about now, where I’m like, what’s your deepest mother wound? No guy likes to talk about that. Especially right away when they don’t know you.

ALEX COOPER: Right? You’re like, let’s talk about what happened. What happened in the childhood. They’re like, huh?

MEGAN FOX: Yeah. What are you most traumatized by? What’s your weirdest fetish? What’s your, yeah, they don’t. They don’t like to feel exposed. So I’m not a good.

ALEX COOPER: You’re not a good.

MEGAN FOX: I’m not good at that. Because they just want you to be pretty and really dumb. And I don’t like to play that game.

ALEX COOPER: I agree. What if a girl keeps comparing herself to her best friend? How do you stop comparing yourself to women?

MEGAN FOX: That’s a great question. I don’t know that I’ve ever been in that. You mean it from a standpoint of jealousy comparing to.

ALEX COOPER: Or.

MEGAN FOX: And more of an envy, because there’s so many. It could have a venomous element, or it could just be like, wow, I’m really proud of my best friend. I wish I could get my shit together and be like that. There’s different aspects to it.

One I think is not necessarily unhealthy to be inspired by your friend and to take notes and want to move in that direction. But if it’s unhealthy and it’s toxic, I don’t know that I have great advice. You have to start working on yourself and because you have insecurities and things that you need to heal and probably desires need to be satiated and all of these other things that you need to work on. Because jealousy will always be there with your friend or with just all others.

ALEX COOPER: Okay, what if a girl is hung up on a guy who ghosted her after a date? What do we do? Megan?

MEGAN FOX: I don’t know. I can’t be friends with that person.

ALEX COOPER: You can’t be friends with the girl?

MEGAN FOX: No, no. What do you mean? Is that rude? I can’t be friends with that person. She’s upset after she went on a date with a guy one time and he ghosted her.

ALEX COOPER: Yeah.

MEGAN FOX: And she still is obsessing over him.

ALEX COOPER: No. Yes. You can’t be friends with her.

MEGAN FOX: I can’t do that.

ALEX COOPER: The one in the question, you’re like, I cannot be friends with her. Oh, my God, I’m peeing. Oh, we were not friends with her. Okay, what about a girl that’s too afraid to tell her partner that she’s never had an orgasm?

On Communication and Intimacy

MEGAN FOX: Well, you got to just, you got to do that. You got to, you got to say that. That is, I feel like all of us have been in that position at one time or another. That is not worth living like that, though. You cannot.

What is the fear that he’s going to feel so insecure or so overwhelmed? How would you do it? Is the question specifically, I’ve never had an orgasm with you, or I’ve never…

ALEX COOPER: Had an orgasm with you.

MEGAN FOX: That’s a different question, I think. How long has it been?

ALEX COOPER: I’m making this up.

MEGAN FOX: Well, if it’s been a week versus 10 years, that’s a different conversation.

ALEX COOPER: It’s been like a year.

MEGAN FOX: Oh, that’s a long time. Because now you’re a liar. That’s a long time to keep up that lie.

ALEX COOPER: Because now you’re a liar. You, no, but now you have…

MEGAN FOX: To answer for, well, why have you been lying for a year? Don’t let it get to that point. I understand the fear of being intimidated or worrying or whatever. You can’t live like that.

You have to understand that an orgasm, if he’s entitled to an orgasm, you are entitled to an orgasm. The end. So don’t let anything, any kind of fear, talk you out of being able to speak that truth.

This is your body, and orgasms actually keep women very healthy. It’s a vitamin, and you have to prioritize that. So don’t be afraid. And if he has a problem with that, he is not for you. And I promise you, the dick wasn’t that good anyway. Obviously, because you’re not coming.

What’s Next for Megan Fox

ALEX COOPER: Amen. Okay, Megan, last question. What do you think this next chapter of your life will look like for you? I feel like you’re about to disappear. This is the last we ever saw Megan Fox.

MEGAN FOX: I’m on, like, the cliff of that. I don’t, I don’t know. I’m either going to really have some kind of, like, breakthrough where I do transcend into some, like, blissful, higher level of consciousness or find some kind of purpose, being in service to people, or I will disappear again.

I feel like I handled that wrong the first time, though, and I regret some of those years that I lost. So I don’t think I’ll repeat that. However, I am on the precipice of what am I about to do? And I don’t know.

ALEX COOPER: Well, we’ll be looking for you, Megan Fox. Thank you so much for calling me on Call Her Daddy. This was overdue, and it was perfect.

MEGAN FOX: Thank you. Thank you for staying up so late.

ALEX COOPER: It’s midnight. Let’s go.

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